Chapter 80 A good topic is the beginning of an indulgent conversation

In the conversation, we must learn the ability to find words without words. "Finding words" means "finding topics", looking for an entry point for conversation.Just like writing an article, if you have a good topic, you will often have a lot of writing and thinking, and you will achieve it in one go.Similarly, when both parties talk, having a good topic can make the conversation harmonious and comfortable. What kind of topic is a good topic?The criteria for a good topic are: at least both parties are familiar with the topic and can talk about it; So, how to find a good topic?

When talking with many people, you should choose an event that everyone is interested in as a topic to stimulate everyone's desire to talk.Because this kind of topic is what everyone wants to talk about, loves to talk about and can talk about.Everyone has something to say, and can express their own views and opinions, which will naturally make the topic go on, so that it will arouse many people's discussions and speeches, and then resonate. Cleverly use certain materials from that time, that place, and that person as the topic to trigger conversations.Some people are good at using the other party's name, place of origin, age, clothing, living room, etc. to impromptuly elicit topics, and often achieve good results. The advantage of the "impromptu introduction" method is that it is flexible and natural, and it uses local materials, but the key is to have quick thinking and be able to quickly make associations from one to the other.

When talking with strangers, first ask some "throwing" questions, and then have a purposeful and in-depth conversation after getting to know the other person's age, occupation, personality, interests, etc., so that you can talk more freely.Just like "throwing stones to ask for directions", if you meet an unfamiliar neighbor at a party, you can "throw a stone" first and ask: "Are you and the owner a colleague or a classmate?" Whether the first half of the question is correct or the second half is correct, You can start a topic on this; if you ask all the wrong questions, and the other party replies that they are "old acquaintances", then you have found a topic to continue talking about.

Test out the interests of strangers, and start from the interests, which can successfully lead to topics.If the other party likes to watch movies, use this as a topic, talk about the advantages and disadvantages of movies, discuss the plot of the story, etc.If you also like watching movies, then you have found a common interest and can enter the topic smoothly; if you don’t usually watch movies, it is also a learning opportunity. You can listen quietly and ask questions at the right time to open your eyes. There are many ways to arouse topics, such as "method of creating questions by borrowing facts", "method of presenting questions on the spot", "method of entering questions from emotion", and so on.It can subtly spark a discussion about something, a certain scene, or a certain emotion.Provoking a topic is similar to the practice of "drawing the thread" and "inserting road signs".

When talking with people, we must also work hard to shorten the distance between each other, and strive to understand more in a short period of time, shorten the distance of mutual understanding, and strive to become emotionally harmonious.Only like-minded people can talk about speculation.In order to be able to talk speculatively with strangers, you must find good topics, make fuss about emotions, and turn unfamiliarity into familiarity. (1) Cut in at the right time.Be aware of the situation, don't miss the opportunity to speak, intervene in the conversation at the right time, and "express yourself" in a timely manner, so that the other party can fully understand yourself.

Conversation is a bilateral activity. It is also difficult to talk deeply if you only know the other party without letting the other party understand yourself.Strangers will grow closer if they can learn from your "cutting" conversations.Cutting in at the right time can actively and effectively contribute your knowledge to the other party. In fact, it conforms to the principle of "complementarity" and lays the foundation for "combination". (2) Find a medium skillfully.Find a medium between yourself and strangers, so as to find a common language and shorten the distance between the two parties.If you see a stranger reading a newspaper, you can start with a piece of news in the newspaper and discuss this topic with the other person.Show a strong interest in everything about other people, trigger them to express themselves through the medium, and the conversation will go smoothly.

(3) Leave space.Leave space for conversation so that the other party can interface, so that the other party can feel that the hearts of each other are connected and the conversation is harmonious, thereby shortening the psychological distance between the two.Therefore, when talking with strangers, don't tell the whole story and say your own point of view to death. Instead, you should be open-minded and welcome to discuss. It is best to leave the opportunity for conclusions and inductions to the other party. A good topic is the medium of initial conversation, and the beginning of indulgent conversation is the basis for in-depth and detailed conversation.Having a good topic is half the battle.