Chapter 60 Don't hurt your ears with good advice, but speak bluntly

Advice plays an irreplaceable role in helping others and building genuine relationships.Conversely, a person who cannot give advice to others is not a sincere person. Such a person will not tell the other party how he really feels.In other words, people who don't care about others will not give advice to others, and people who are not cared about will also not receive advice.Therefore, we should welcome advice and, more importantly, give advice. Still, why do people in general hate advice, why does it always sound bad? The reason is that ordinary people are easily dominated by emotions. Even if they have rational knowledge in their hearts, they are still easily affected by disgust and it is difficult to listen to rational advice.It is not enough to only have good intentions for the sake of others. Advice also requires skill, otherwise it will have the opposite effect.If we pay attention to the three elements of advice, our advice will be accepted and it will be pleasant to the ear.

First, proceed with caution.In the final analysis, advice is for the other party, and serving the other party's good is the fundamental starting point.Therefore, if you want the other party to understand your good intentions, you must act cautiously, and you must not act carelessly or rashly.In addition, the attitude must be modest and sincere when speaking, and the language should not be violent or too tactful, otherwise the other party will have a resentment of being taught a lesson. Second, choose the right time.In principle, when giving advice, it is best to do it one-on-one, avoiding the eyes and ears, and never give advice to the other party in front of others.Because in doing so, the other party will be driven by self-esteem and have resistance.

Finally, don't compare.Just don't give advice in the way of comparing things with things and people with people.Because the comparison at this time is often to take the other person's length to be shorter than the other person's, which can easily hurt the other person's self-esteem. People have the psychology of self-esteem and saving face, and they will always have a rejection psychology when they hear irritating words.Advice should also be pleasing to the ear, euphemistic advice is more persuasive than blunt persuasion, easier for people to accept, and more able to open the other party's heart.

People often say that good medicine is bitter, but good advice is hard to hear, but why must good medicine be bitter and good advice must be hard?Modern medicine is very developed, and many good medicines such as honey and fruits are no longer bitter to the taste.Since the development of language science, the good advice of criticism can also be "pleasing to the ear", and everyone loves to listen to it. Euphemistic and peaceful words are always pleasing to the ear, so why not do this when giving advice that people disagree with?