Chapter 58 What to say when criticizing

How can the criticism be convincing?What should you say when you criticize?What should I say?This involves the content of criticism. The following is the content of the criticism. Before criticizing, you must recognize which behavior the criticism is aimed at, and don't speak too generally, so as to avoid causing the other party to be wronged or suspicious for no reason.For example, a class cadre of a certain university criticizes a classmate, there are two ways: ①You don't care about the collective at all. ②You have not been a student on duty for two months. We can compare that both are critical sentences.

①The sentence is too general, and it makes the other party useless, and completely negates the person.Speaking in general terms is not precise enough.If the other party refute, it will cause new contradictions. ② Sentences are better, instead of using absolute words like "a little bit", just discuss the matter as it stands, and point out to the other party something that is true and should not be done.Those who are being criticized do not think that they have been unfairly attacked, so it is easy to accept opinions calmly. If someone steps on you on the bus, if your under-10 daughter breaks her job, should those things be criticized?These things cannot be easily criticized.Someone stepped on you because the bus was too crowded; your daughter broke the bowl because you were careless, and you should take a tolerant and comforting approach to these.

After recognizing the matter to be criticized, you must also measure whether the other party has the ability and conditions to correct to the extent you require before criticizing. Most of the critics focus on pointing out the "wrong" of the other party, but they cannot clearly indicate what to do with the "right".You must think carefully before you can understand what you want the other party to do and how to say it.Some people criticize others and say: "Do you have to do this?" This is nonsense, because there is no actual content, but it is purely an expression of personal dissatisfaction.Another example is a husband complaining to his wife: "The house is a mess and guests are coming, why do you just sit there and put on makeup?"He didn't say a word about what he expected his wife to do.It should be said like this: "The guests are coming, can you help me buy some vegetables and fruits, and then clean up the newspapers in the living room, okay?"

Explaining what people are required to do is actually instructing the other party in the direction of correction, allowing the other party to accept the content of the criticism from another angle. In addition, in order to improve the efficiency of criticism, we should "not say what we are not satisfied with, but only say what we agree with", which can play a positive role. "Those who really know how to criticize focus on 'correctness' rather than 'wrongness'." This is the famous quote of Joseph Addison, a famous British critic in the 18th century. The words of critics must be understood by the critics, otherwise they will just play the piano to the cow.We often hear complaints between husband and wife: "We can never get together." This most common complaint may be mistaken for "divorce" by the other party.

If you want to prove whether the other party understands what you mean, the easiest way is to ask: "Do you understand what I mean?" Then listen to whether what the other party said is your original intention.Too bad most people ignore this.Asking if the other person agrees with you is also one of the communication methods you can use when criticizing others.Being able to ask questions at least eliminates the possibility of the other party being silent and sulking. If you can raise objections calmly, there is hope for solving the problem.Because you can understand what problems the other party has not figured out, or what you have said is inaccurate, you can have a deeper discussion.

It is criticism that will bring you unpleasantness.Once a word of criticism is uttered, it is difficult to take it back. Before criticizing, you must carefully consider what you can say and what you can't say, and speak carefully.