Chapter 57 Only by grasping the principles can criticism not hurt others

If you are going to criticize others, pay attention to the following five principles. Time, occasion and opportunity should be considered when criticizing.Suppose a manager takes his subordinates to visit customers. When the manager finds that his subordinates have problems in speech and behavior, he cannot criticize them in front of customers.At this time, the most important thing is to use brilliant conversation skills to cover up the shortcomings of your subordinates.Criticizing subordinates in the car or on the way back when no one else is around is a perfect time to criticize them. When someone criticizes people, they always say: "You can see who you are from what you do." This is a big taboo of criticism.When criticizing, you can only focus on things, not on personal personality and character, and use things to describe people.

For example, you can say something like: "Bill, I know from past experience that you would not make this kind of mistake. Is there any reason why you were not fully prepared this time?" Not attacking his character, not criticizing him as a person, but criticizing a certain job or something of him.You point your criticism at his specific work without damaging his overall self-image.This kind of criticism is established in a friendly atmosphere, which makes the other party feel free and willing to accept it.In this way, pointing out the other person's mistakes while actually praising him allows him to rebuild his self-image.

The ultimate purpose of criticism is not to overwhelm the other party, not to punish the person, but to help him grow; not to hurt his feelings, but to help him do a better job. The reason why some successful people are good at using criticism is that they can adopt the method of raising first and then suppressing.For example: "Xiao Zhang, your investigation report is well written, you must have put a lot of effort into it. At the same time, there is another important issue that you should pay attention to..." "Xiao Li, since you were transferred to this unit, You performed well, and I appreciate your achievements very much. There is one thing that I think can be done better, and I believe you will be willing to correct it..." If the other party needs advice and criticism, start by praising their strengths.This method is like a surgeon using anesthesia before an operation. Although the patient feels uncomfortable, the anesthesia can relieve the pain.

It's a wonderful way to start with praise and end with advice, and the problem is solved without hurting the feelings. When people make mistakes, what they can't stand is that everyone attacks him, because it hurts his self-esteem. He may admit his mistakes, but he cannot accept this kind of criticism, which will make him full of hostility towards leaders and colleagues. Once the opportunity arises, an eye for an eye will be used. We must never turn others against us if we want our criticism to be effective.Our goal is to achieve some good results, or to get the other person back on the right track, not to belittle his personality.Even if your motives are noble and sincere, remember that the other person's feelings are also at play.In the presence of others, even the most benign manner may arouse the resentment of the person being criticized, and whether justified or not, he already feels that he has lost face in front of colleagues or friends.For some mistakes, as long as he realizes his mistakes, there is no need to ask him to make a public review in front of everyone, but just talking to him face to face in your office is enough to make him reflect.Any self-motivated person is unwilling to make mistakes, even from his personal point of view, and our purpose is only to make him improve his work, not to degrade his personality.

Say it three times as light as water.To draw attention to a known fault, one reminder is enough, two criticisms are completely unnecessary, and three times becomes entanglement.It can be uncomfortable if you are triggered to bring up bad things from the past, or to rehash past mistakes you've made -- exposing scars.Unless he makes similar mistakes again, he will think that you are prejudiced against him or have ulterior motives if you criticize him for no reason.Remember the goal of criticism: to improve the work in this area and complete the task smoothly.Once this mistake is corrected and resolved, forget about it.One criticism, one improvement.When the opponent accepts criticism and has made certain progress, he is already on the new starting line.

Criticism is not a deposit, the longer the time, the more interest.Always looking through other people's old accounts, nagging endlessly, it doesn't help in doing things at all.When criticizing others, it is advisable to "discuss the matter as it stands" and not settle new and old ones together.At the end of the conversation, a few words of encouragement such as "I believe you will learn from it" will make people feel that this is not an intentional blow, but turning failure into the mother of success, which is a beneficial experience.After thinking about it in this way, he will summon up his energy and devote himself to work more steadfastly.

Criticism will inevitably hurt others. Don't criticize others casually, let alone criticize others indiscriminately. Distinguishing the occasion, grasping the scale, and taking care of others' face are the criteria for criticism.