Chapter 38 Talk about things that interest others

A student in the training class of the seminar was worried about his child because the child was underweight and refused to eat obediently.The child's parents often scold him. Will the child heed the words of reproof?He will not pay attention to these, just as you will not pay attention to a feast that has nothing to do with you. There is a father who has no common sense. He hopes that a 3-year-old child can respond to the insights of a 30-year-old father.But the father finally realized that it was unreasonable.So he said to himself, "What does that kid need? How do I connect what I need with what he needs?"

He started to think of this, and the problem was easily solved.His kid, Johnny, has a tricycle that Johnny likes to ride on the sidewalk in front of the house.In a neighbor’s house a few blocks away from them, there was a “very bad” older child. He often pushed Johnny off the tricycle and rode it on himself. Johnny ran back crying and told his mother that when his mother came out, she pushed the "very bad" older child off the tricycle, and then let Johnny sit in the car. Situations like this happened every day. What does Johnny need?This question does not require esoteric exploration.His self-esteem, his desire for respect, these are the strongest emotions in his nature that drive him to revenge and beat up this "bad" big boy!

If his father told him to eat what his mother wanted him to eat, he would grow up so fast that he could punch this "bad" big kid down.Now Johnny loves to eat anything, spinach, cabbage, salted fish and anything else.He hoped that he would grow up quickly and fight that "thug" who repeatedly bullied him. When that problem was solved, there was another problem that troubled this father for a long time, that is, Johnny had a bad habit of "enuresis". Johnny slept with his grandmother, who woke up in the morning, touched the sheets, and said to Johnny, "Look, Johnny, what did you do last night?"

Johnny always replied, "No, no, I didn't wet the bed, you did." His parents beat him, scolded him, and shamed him. His mother told him countless times not to do that, but Johnny never got rid of his bad habit of wetting the bed.So Johnny's parents asked themselves: "How can Johnny get rid of the bad habit of enuresis and wetting the bed?" Johnny what does he want?One, he wanted to wear pajamas like his father's instead of a nightgown like his grandmother's.Grandma had had enough of his nighttime interruptions, keeping her from falling asleep comfortably, so she would gladly buy him a set of pajamas if Johnny got rid of his bad habits.Second, he wanted a bed of his own—a thing my grandmother had no objection to.

Mother took Johnny to a department store, pointed at the saleswoman at the counter and said: This little gentleman wants to buy something! "Young man, what do you want to buy?" asked the saleswoman. Johnny lifted his heels, stood a little taller, and said, "I'm going to buy myself a bed." When Johnny saw that his mother liked the bed he bought, Johnny's mother gave the saleswoman another wink, and the saleswoman told Johnny how cute and practical the bed was, and the bed was bought. On the night when the bed was delivered, when his father came home, Johnny ran to the door and yelled, "Dad, Dad, come upstairs and see, I bought the bed myself!"

Father saw the bed and gave Johnny a nod of approval. He asked his son, "Johnny, you're not going to wet this bed again, are you?" "Oh, no, no," Johnny shook his head and said, "I won't wet this bed again." Because of his self-esteem, the kid kept his promise...Johnny never "wets" again Wet the bed.Because it was his bed - he bought it himself.Now Johnny is in his pajamas, like a little "adult", he wants to be an "adult", and he does. In addition, there is a father named Chu Zumen, who is a telephone engineer and a student in my training class.The trouble he encountered was that his 3-year-old daughter refused to eat breakfast.He often scolded, begged, or coaxed the little girl, but nothing worked.

The little girl liked to imitate her mother and seemed to feel grown up.So one morning they put her on a chair and made her breakfast—and that was exactly what the little girl needed psychologically.While she was making breakfast, her father came into the kitchen.When the little girl saw her father come in, she said, "Hey, Daddy, look - I'm making breakfast!" On that morning, the little girl obediently ate two large bowls without anyone's cajoling or coaxing.While cooking breakfast, she found an opportunity to express herself. Willim Wind said: "Expressing oneself is the most important need of human nature."

But why don't we use this same psychology when we communicate with people? People always like other people to talk about things that interest them.Talk more about the interests and hobbies of the other person, and when you open your mouth to ask others, you will easily win the approval and support of others.