Chapter 37 People are very interested in their own experiences

Everyone has a great interest in what they have experienced and done, and no one is happiest than talking about these things to others.But talking about it too much will make the listener lose interest. For example, some people had a very interesting dream and felt that it was a great pleasure to be there in person, but in the end they talked about it with everyone, which was tiresome.In addition, some people like to chatter about their previous experiences: what happened when they were in middle school, what happened when they were in college, what happened when they first started working, what happened later, and so on.

But if we think about it carefully, are other people as interested in the things we are interested in as we are?Those intermittent and weird dreams, except for the dreamer himself, sound very dull to others.If the listener is not at all familiar with those past events, those people, and those places mentioned by the speaker, and does not find it interesting at all, he will undoubtedly not resonate with the speaker. All of these are nothing more than proof that people are interested in what they experience, and feel dull about things that have nothing to do with them.Therefore, when we talk with others, we should grasp the psychology of the listener.

Everyone dreams, and he will not be interested in other people's dreams that have nothing to do with the overall situation; everyone has his own experience, and he will not care about other people's ordinary experiences that have nothing to do with himself. This fact tells us that when talking with people, try to talk less about things that they are not interested in, and don't chatter about your life, children, career, etc., unless the other party is really interested in special circumstances, otherwise, it is better Better to talk about other topics. At the same time, since we know that everyone likes what he knows best, we can try to tease others to say his own things in conversation.This is the best way to make each other happy.If we are full of sympathy and enthusiasm to listen to his narration with relish, we can definitely give the other party a better impression.

If you want to make more friends and succeed in communication, you should say less about what others are not interested in. Don't just talk about yourself and express yourself, but you should patiently listen to what others have to say. Serve each other "a delicious meal" Everyone has their own interests or topics. We might as well find other people’s interests and proactively deliver “a delicious meal” to others. Doing so is 100 times better than talking aimlessly. Eastman, the founder of the famous American Kodak Company, donated a huge sum of money to build a concert hall, a memorial hall and a theater in Rochester.Many manufacturers competed fiercely for the seats in these buildings.However, all the businessmen who approached Eastman for business came here in good spirits, and returned disappointed, with nothing to gain.It was under such circumstances that Adamson, the manager of the Beautiful Seating Company, came to meet with Eastman, hoping to get the $90,000 worth of business.

Before introducing Adamson, Eastman's secretary said to Adamson: "I know you are eager to get this order, but I can tell you now that if you take up Mr. Eastman's time for more than 5 minutes, you will be charged." It's over. He is a very strict busy man, so you have to talk quickly when you go in." Adamson smiled and nodded. After Adamson was introduced into Eastman's office, he saw Eastman burying his head in a pile of documents on the desk, so he stood there quietly and looked at the office carefully. After a while, Eastman raised his head, found Adamson, and asked, "What advice do you have, sir?"

After the secretary gave Adamson a brief introduction, he withdrew.At this time, Adamson did not talk about business, but said: "Mr. Eastman, while I was waiting for you, I carefully observed your office. I have been engaged in interior carpentry for a long time, but I have never seen Such a well-decorated office." Eastman replied, "Gee! You reminded me of something I'd almost forgotten. I designed this office myself, and I loved it when it was first built. But then I got busy and for weeks I Never had a chance to take a closer look at the room." Adamson went to the wall, rubbed his hand over the wood, and said, "I think it's English oak, isn't it? Italian oak doesn't feel like that."

"Yes," Eastman stood up happily and replied, "That's oak imported from England. A friend of mine who specializes in interior oak made a special trip to England to order it for me." Eastman was in a good mood, so he took Adamson to visit the office carefully. He introduced all the decorations in the office to Adamson one by one, from wood to proportion, from proportion to color, from craftsmanship to price, and then introduced his design process in detail. At this moment, Adamson listened with a smile and great interest.Seeing that Eastman was having a good time talking, he curiously asked about his experience.Eastman told him about his miserable teenage life, how the mother and son struggled in poverty, how he invented the Kodak camera, and the huge donation he planned to make for the society.Adamson heartily praised his meritorious deeds.

Originally, the secretary had warned Adamson not to talk for more than five minutes.As a result, Adamson and Eastman talked for hours and hours until noon. Finally, Eastman said to Adamson: "Last time I bought some chairs in Japan and put them in the corridor of my house. The paint was peeled off due to the sun. Yesterday I went to the street to buy paint, and I plan to paint it by myself." Get them repainted. Would you be interested in seeing my painting show? Well, come and have lunch with me at my house and see my craft again." After lunch, Eastman started to paint the chairs one by one with great pride.Neither had spoken about business until Adamson said goodbye.In the end, Adamson not only got a large number of orders, but also formed a lifelong friendship with Eastman.

Why did Eastman give this big deal to Adamson and no one else?This has a lot to do with Adamson's eloquence.If he talks about business as soon as he enters the office, he will be kicked out nine times out of ten.The secret to Adamson's success is that he knows who he is negotiating with.He started from Eastman's office, subtly praised Eastman's achievements, and talked more about Eastman's proud things, which greatly satisfied Eastman's self-esteem and made him as a confidant.Of course, this business is none other than Adamson. Whether you are talking with friends or customers, talk more about the other party's proud things, so that it is easy to win the other party's approval.If it's just right, he'll be happy and have a crush on you.

If one of your topics interests the other person, no matter how silent he is, he will say something.Therefore, when you are stagnant in the conversation, you must try to find and constantly arouse the interest of the other party, so that the conversation can continue.