Chapter 36 speak from the other side's point of view

Thousands of salesmen today, tired, frustrated, underpaid, wandering the road, why is that?Because they always only think about what they need, but they don't notice whether what they sell is what we need. If we want to buy something we need, we will go out and buy it ourselves, because what we pay attention to is how to solve our own problems.If there is a salesman whose services and goods can really help us solve a problem, we will buy his things without talking about selling to us.Customers like to feel that they bought something on their own initiative, not because of a sales pitch.

But there are many people who spend their whole lives selling, but don't talk about things from the buyer's standpoint. Now there is such an example, I live in the "Lin Qiu" residential area in the center of Greater New York.One day, as I was walking towards the station, I happened to meet a real estate agent who had been buying and selling properties around Long Island for many years.He was very familiar with the "Linqiu" residential area where I lived, so I asked him what materials the house I lived in was made of.He replied that I didn't know, and then said something I knew. About the question I asked him, he said that he could ask the inquiry agency in my residential area.

The next morning, I received a letter from him, thinking he was going to tell me what I wanted to know?No need to write a letter, just hang up and call me in 60 seconds.But he didn't do that, he still told me to ask the inquiry agency, but in the end he asked me to handle my insurance business for him. He didn't notice how to help me, he just noticed how to help himself. I should have given him two pamphlets by Irving Young, To Give and To Share Lucky.If he reads those two books and can implement the philosophy in the books, I believe his gains will be more than a thousand times the benefits of my insurance.

Professionals often make this same mistake.It was a few years ago, and I went to the consulting room of a well-known throat and nose doctor in Philadelphia.Before seeing my interlarynx tonsils, the doctor asked me what my occupation was.Instead of paying attention to the size of my tonsils, he pays attention to the size of my purse.What he cares about is not helping me or solving a problem for me, but what he cares most about is how much money he can get from my pocket.In the end, he got nothing... I despised his lack of personality, gave up my plan to ask him for a diagnosis, and walked out of his consulting room.

The world is full of these people: grabbing, selfish.But the rare, unselfish, service-to-others benefit greatly on the contrary.Owen Young once said: "A person can put himself in other people's situation, and can understand other people's mental activities, and he doesn't have to think about the future." To win the approval of others, you need to master a skill of eloquence—always speak, plan, conceive from the standpoint of others, and observe the trend of things from the other's point of view. if i were you i would... Wanting people to believe you're right, agree with your point of view, and act on your opinion requires people to like you, or you won't be successful, but if you can't put yourself in someone else's shoes, find their excitement , hotspots, how can it be successful?

There is a TV station that has a weekly program on lectures on life issues. It is said that the ratings are much higher than other programs at the same time.Of course, there are many reasons for the high ratings, but perhaps one of them is the cruel psychology of people enjoying watching others suffer misfortune.However, the most important thing is because of the ingenious dialogue in the program, which makes people never get tired of watching it. Most of the audience friends who come to TV for advice when they have difficult problems, at the beginning, they will object or justify the various advices given by the answerers, and they seem very reluctant to accept what the other party said.But over time, I unconsciously nodded yes to every sentence the answerer said.Seeing these pictures, it really feels deeper than watching a movie in a movie theater.

All TV hosts or questioners are carefully selected, so just listening to their persuasion methods can also benefit a lot. The best way to win the approval of others is to make the other person think that you are on the same side as him.Divorced women make up the majority of audience friends who usually appear on TV programs that discuss life-related issues.At this time, the person in charge of answering the question said a sentence: "If I were you, I would forgive him and never break up with him." Don't think that the "if I were you" in the words is just a short and simple sentence, but you don't know that the effect it can exert is limitless.And this is because everyone has the mentality of thinking "I am the cutest".

If you inadvertently use some inappropriate words in the process of discussing with others, but because of your clever use of this "if I were you", you have made up for your verbal mistakes, not only that, but it will also make up for it. It can prompt the other party to do self-reflection, so that the other party finally feels that only your faithful advice is the most beneficial to him. Ford, the car king, once said: If there is any secret to success, it is to put yourself in the shoes of others and understand their attitudes and viewpoints.Because in this way, not only can you gain communication and understanding with the other party, but also have a clearer understanding of the other party's thought trajectory and the "key points" in it, so as to be targeted and hit the "key points".

If you want others to trust you and agree with you, the best way is to make the other person think that what you say is for him, and you are on the same stand with him.