Chapter 35 Conceived from his point of view, same as yours

Here's a great piece of advice about being human, the art of relationship building.Henry Ford once said: "If there is one secret to success, it is the ability to get the other person's position. Conceive from his point of view as well as from yours." Yes, I'm repeating what Ford said: "If there is one secret to success, it is the ability to get the other side's 'position'. Conceive from his point of view as well as from your own." That is It's so simple and so obvious that anyone can easily find out the principle behind it.However, 90% of the people in the world, 90% of the time, ignore this matter.

Can you give some examples to illustrate?Look at the letter on your desk tomorrow morning!You can see that there are many people who violate this rule of common sense.Take the following letter as an example. It was written by the director of the radio department of a very large-scale advertising company with branches all over the country to the heads of radio stations across the country. (My notes in parentheses are my opinions and reactions to each verse.) (Who cares about your company's hopes? I'm worrying about my own problems! The bank is foreclosing on my house...Pests are destroying my plants...Markets were chaotic yesterday...Morning I mistook I took the 8:15 train...I was not invited to the dance at Chance's house last night...the doctor said I have high blood pressure and neuritis...)

"The customers of our company's national advertising are the guarantee of the initial business network. The radio time we need in the future has kept us above all companies every year." (You're cocky, you show off your money, you're way ahead of everything, right? So what? If you're as big as NMC, NEC, U.S. Army Headquarters combined, I don't give a shit. If you I only have a half-knowledge, then you should know that I only care about how "big" I am, not how "big" you are.) "We hope to serve our customers with the latest news from radio stations."

("You" want! "You" want! You ass. I don't pay attention to what "you" want, or what Mussolini wants, or what Bing Crosby wants, I just I tell you, I only pay attention to what "I" wish... In this unreasonable letter of yours, no such word is mentioned.) "So you put our company on the priority list." (“Priority list”, you brag about your company and make me feel so small. You want me to put you on the priority list without even saying “please” when you need it.) "Reply immediately and provide us with your latest activities to benefit each other."

(You idiot, you sent me a plain mimeographed letter, a notification letter to be distributed everywhere - that's as much as autumn leaves. You want me to sit down and write alone when my blood pressure is too high A letter in reply to your mimeographed letter, and asked me to give you an "I will reply immediately." What does "I will" mean? Don't you know that I am as busy as you. Let me ask you, who You were given such a "power" to order me? You said "mutually beneficial", and finally you started to mention my position, but how it is beneficial to me, you were vague and did not elaborate.)

"Reinitiator, I enclose a copy of the Blankville newspaper for your reference if you are willing to broadcast it on the radio." (Why not start your letter with something that would help me solve a problem in this attachment of yours? But what good is that? Anyone in an advertising agency who makes a mistake like You must be out of your mind with the stupidity in which you sent this letter.) If a person who has devoted his life to advertising, he thinks he has the power to influence others, but writes such a letter, how can we give him a higher evaluation? Here is another letter from a very large freight station superintendent to Mr. "Furmley" one of my seminarians.What effect does this letter have on a person who receives it?After reading this letter first, I will tell you.

After reading this letter, Mr. Fumley, the sales director of Soleg, wrote the following opinion and handed it to me: "The effect of this letter is exactly the opposite of the original intention of the other party. At the beginning of the letter, it mentioned the difficulty of the other party's freight station. Generally speaking, this is not what we pay attention to. Then the other party asked us to cooperate, but they did not expect it at all. Is it inconvenient for us? The last paragraph of the letter mentions that if we cooperate, the truck can be returned quickly and our goods can be dispatched immediately on the day of receipt.

"In other words, it was the thing we paid the most attention to, mentioned last, that made the whole effect counterproductive, rather than the spirit of cooperation." Now we see if this letter can be improved and rewritten, we don't need to waste time talking about our problems, as Henry Ford once said let us "get the other side's position, see things from the other side's point of view, Exactly the same as from our point of view." Here is a modified method, maybe not the best, but can it be improved? Fools are always used to talking with people from their own point of view, while wise men like to talk with others' point of view.