Chapter 31 Self-deprecation can often turn back

When the United States held a constitutional conference in Philadelphia, the conference was divided into pros and cons, and the discussions were quite intense.The remarks of the attendees were very sharp, and even turned into personal attacks. Due to the differences in race and religion among the attendees, people with the same interests naturally joined together, resulting in an atmosphere of gunpowder and mutual distrust in the meeting. Seeing that the meeting was about to break down, Franklin, who was in favor of it, came forward in time to clean up the chaotic scene, and finally promoted the establishment of the Constitution.

Facing the fierce attacks from the opposition, Franklin said to them calmly: "To be honest, I don't fully agree with this constitution." As soon as this sentence came out, the chaotic situation of the meeting stopped instantly, and the opponents couldn't help feeling suspicious: Since Franklin was in favor of it, why didn't he fully agree with the constitution he proposed? Franklin paused for a while before continuing: "I have no confidence in the constitution that I agree with. Everyone present at this meeting may have some objections to the detailed rules, but to tell you the truth, I am just like you at this time. It is in this state of mind that I signed the Constitution with skepticism about whether it was right to do so."

Franklin's remarks finally calmed down the excitement and mistrust of the opposition, and the U.S. Constitution was finally passed smoothly. Ordinary people want to resolve the other party's sense of distrust, and often say "please believe me" in a strong tone, or say "that's not the case at all", which in turn makes the other party's sense of distrust even stronger. Because, saying this is like completely negating the other party's distrust and only keeping one's own unilateral claims. It is actually a frontal attack, and doing so will not produce any effect.

For one thing, if you only emphasize the good side, then the other party will have a latent distrust of what you say. If you repeatedly emphasize your own advantages in order to make the other party believe in yourself and eliminate his distrust, it will not be convincing.It is better to use the "awkward mentality" of human potential psychology to gain the trust of the other party. For example, you can give the other party some unfavorable news first, so that the other party feels that you are "pretty honest", so that he will have the desire to listen to you continue to speak, and you can incidentally say something for yourself Good words, before you know it, the other party will accept your induction smoothly.

Franklin used this technique to say something unfavorable to himself first, so that the other party had a sense of trust instead. Arrogance and high-spirited talk can easily arouse people's resentment, so that they build defensive walls, which leads to their own passivity.It's better to lower your posture and say some self-deprecating words, but it will turn around and make the conversation go on smoothly. Human psychology is often inconceivable. When you boast about your own ideas, others will feel suspicious, but when you demean yourself and talk about your inadequacies, others may sympathize with you.