Chapter 15 Lesson 2 The most popular art of eloquence

The late Warner Meg once admitted: "I learned 30 years ago that it is foolish to blame people. I don't complain that God has not distributed intelligence evenly, but I have felt very good about restraining my defects. It's exhausting." Warner Meg learned this lesson early on, but we walk blindly in this ancient world for decades before we wake up. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, no one criticizes himself for anything, no matter how wrong. Criticism is useless, because it adds a layer of defense and tries to defend oneself.Criticism is also dangerous, it can hurt a person's self-esteem and sense of self-worth, and provoke him to rebel.

Soldiers in the German army were not allowed to complain or criticize immediately after a certain incident happened.He needs to go to sleep full of resentment until his resentment disappears.If he appeals immediately, he will be punished.In our daily life, it seems that there is a need to formulate such a rule-like whining parents, nagging wives, scolding bosses and those who are critical and annoying. From thousands of pages of history, you can find many, many examples of "criticism" being ineffective.The famous debate between Roosevelt and President Taft split the Republican Party, put Wilson in the White House, made him leave a legacy of bravery and glory in the World War, and changed history.

Let's quickly recount the situation: When Roosevelt left the White House in 1908, he made Taft president and went hunting lions in Africa himself.When he returned, the situation changed. He accused Taft of being conservative, wanted to be re-elected for a third term, and organized the "Bolmes Party".This all but destroyed the Republican Party.At the time of that election, Taft and the Republican Party had only received sponsorship from two states—“Fumont” and “Yutuo.” This was the biggest failure of the Republican Party. Roosevelt blamed Taft, but did Taft blame himself?of course not.With tears in his eyes, Tufte said, "I don't know how to do it differently than what I've done."

Who exactly did it wrong?We don't know about this situation, and we don't need to care about it.But one thing to point out is that all of Roosevelt's criticisms did not make Taft feel wrong.The criticisms made Taft defend himself as hard as he could, repeating, with tears in his eyes, "I don't know how to do it differently than what I've done." Instead of changing the facts, blaming can lead to resentment, which backfires.We need to understand others and reflect on ourselves more, instead of accusing others in abusive ways.Trying to put yourself in someone else's shoes and why they are doing what they do is much more beneficial than blaming, and it engenders compassion, patience and kindness.

Talk to people, and remember this: if you want to get honey, don't kick over the hive. Remember the famous kerosene fraud case?It outraged public opinion for several years and shook the country.Nothing like this has ever occurred in American official life in living memory. The facts of this fraud case are as follows: Halsinto Faure, President Harding's Minister of the Interior, was appointed to preside over the government's lease of the "Elk" Mountains and the Tepeto oil field reservation.That oil field is reserved for the government to prepare oil for future naval use.

Is Fall an open bid?No, that's not the case. Fore simply gave this lucrative contract to his friend Tuhaini.What about Tuheni?He gave Secretary Fall what he preferred to call a "debt" of $100,000. Fall then used his high-handed tactics, ordering the U.S. Navy to move into the area and drive out other competitors because their proximity to oil wells sucked Elk Hill's wealth.Those competitors on the reserved land were driven away by guns and swords, but they were not reconciled and ran into the court to expose Tie Paot's $100 million fraud case.After this incident happened, the impact was so bad that it almost destroyed the entire administrative organization of President Harding. The whole country was in an uproar and unanimously hated;

Fore was reprimanded to the point of decency—a reprimand rarely seen in official life.Does he regret it?No, not at all! That was a few years later when Hoover suggested in a public speech that President Harding's death had been caused by nerve irritation and inner anxiety that a friend had betrayed him.Fall's wife, who was also present at the time, jumped up from her seat immediately after hearing this.She burst into tears, clenched her fists tightly, and said loudly: "What... Harding was betrayed by Fall? No, my husband has never failed anyone. Even if this room is full of gold, it is impossible I will not tempt my husband to do bad things. He went to the execution ground and was crucified because he was blamed by others."

You can understand this situation. It is the natural nature of human beings to blame others when they do something wrong, but never themselves. This is true for each of us.So when you're going to point fingers tomorrow, think of people like Faure. Not many are willing to listen to reproach, willing to accept it.Blaming yourself more is an effective way to solve problems.