Chapter 4 Say "Thank You" and Make a Good Impression

One day at noon, everyone was chatting in the office when a boy broke into the room suddenly.He was very young, with timidity and anxiety in his eyes. The boy took out a note and stammered: "I, I am from the computer company, and your unit owes us money, a total of 1,000 yuan." After finishing speaking, the boy stood there at a loss, like a criminal. Like a mistake. Someone said impatiently: "No money! Come back next time!" The boy's lips moved slightly, but he turned and left without saying anything.Perhaps this was the first time the boy had gone out to ask for money, and he didn't know from whom, but the accountant was sitting next to Tom.

The next day when I was about to get off work, the boy came in a hurry. There were only a few people in the office at that time. The accountant took a look at the boy and said, "It's late, I have no money!" The boy's eyes were full of anxiety: "Then when will I Come to have money?" "That's not sure." The accountant left the office without saying a word. After a few days, it snowed.The boy came to the office and looked expectantly at several people in the office, but no one paid attention to him, everyone was doing their own thing.The director looked up and saw that he was still standing there, and said, "Didn't you see that we are busy? Go outside and come in when we are free." The boy lowered his head in embarrassment and hurried away.

A few days later, when Tom went to work, he saw the boy still standing in the corridor. This time the boy did not enter the office. It's cold outside. At this moment, Tom couldn't stand it anymore, walked up to the boy and said softly, "The one in the red dress and shawl hair is the accountant, and she has money." The boy walked into the office, and this time, he finally got the money! After get off work, Tom walked out of the office and found the boy was still standing there. When he saw Tom, he came over and said "thank you" sincerely, and then left in a hurry.

Tom froze, moved to the point of tears by the boy, and ashamed of the indifferent people around him. In interpersonal communication, many people don't like to say "thank you" after accepting others' kindness.why?There are two main reasons: one is that there is no need to say "thank you"; the other is that you really don't know how to say "thank you".In these two cases, the former is a problem of subjective understanding, and the latter is a problem of technical ability, but both of them will have adverse consequences on interpersonal communication and must be changed.

First of all, we must understand the nature and function of "thank you". "Thank you" is an emotional return in your own words after the other party has made some kind words and deeds to you. "Thank you" has the following functions. After people accept other people's kind words and deeds, they will have a feeling of gratitude, and they will be moved and speak out.A "thank you" is often the natural expression of this emotion. Interpersonal communication is an interactive process.A goodwill act by one party necessarily elicits a "reward" from the other party, such as thanks.And this kind of "reward" will further make the other party have a good impression and send out new acts of goodwill.In this way, the interpersonal relationship between the two parties will be further harmonious.

Interpersonal communication is carried out in the psychological distance formed by the two parties in the communication, and an appropriate psychological distance is a necessary condition for successful interpersonal communication.The language of gratitude is a fine-tuning agent to adjust the distance between the two parties. Gratitude plays the role of narrowing the distance between the two parties, but sometimes, gratitude also has a special function of widening the distance between the two parties.Sometimes in some close interpersonal relationships, such as lovers, relatives, and close friends, we will use some standard polite words of thanks in social situations to show our indifference to the other party and widen the psychological relationship with the other party. distance.

In interpersonal communication, if you want to use the communication means of "thank you" to complete specific communication tasks, you should pay attention to the following points: First, "thank you" is in many cases a satisfaction of the other party's psychological needs.As far as different people are concerned, their psychological needs are different.Some people want you to thank him for his words and deeds themselves, some people want you to thank him for the actions or effects of his words and deeds, and some people want you to thank him personally. Therefore, thank you should first meet this psychological need.Especially when the young man expresses his gratitude to the older girl, he should take a cautious attitude towards the "motivation of gratitude".

For example: "Thank you, I didn't expect that you have been thinking of me" and the like can easily cause misunderstandings, it is better to just thank the other party for the behavior itself.Therefore, gratitude must be aimed at the psychological needs of the other party. Second, thanks should also be adopted in a corresponding way according to the different identity characteristics of the other party.The old people are confident that their experience will have a certain effect on the young people. When the young people express their gratitude, they should thank the other party for the results of their words and deeds: "Thank you, your words have made me understand a lot..." This will make the old people feel satisfied.

Women often regard kindness and consideration for others as their unique interpersonal charm, so when men thank them, it is better to say "you are so kind" than "thank you"; "It's not easy for you to think of that" is better. Third, thank you must pay attention to the occasion.When you are alone with the other person, it is good to thank him; but to single out one person in the crowd to express gratitude, then there is a risk of neglecting others and embarrassing the person being thanked. Fourth, gratitude should also pay attention to the relationship between the two parties.For example, if the two parties are general acquaintances or colleagues, you can use direct thanks, "thank you" or "thank you very much"; but when the two parties are close relatives and friends, use less words such as "thank you" or "thank you very much".Express gratitude with compliments or statements.The son can say to his mother: "Mom, you are so kind, you are the best mother in the world."

Learning to be grateful will make us polite and polite in social situations and make a good impression on others.