Chapter 6 love

Nevertheless, she had a happy and sweet time in her mother's two marriages. Although I was young at the time, I still remember some things when my parents were together.As long as there is time, father and mother will cook by themselves and have dinner at home, with candlelight, music, red wine, and pink tablecloths. It is a romantic and charming night.To my mother, my father was like Pygmalion in Greek mythology, a king who was good at carving and fell in love with a maiden he carved.My father is a typical perfectionist, and he embodies the contradiction and unity of a perfectionist.On the one hand, he pursues the ultimate; on the other hand, due to this excessive pursuit, he becomes irritable and extremely emotional.But his taste is impeccable. As a film producer, his father tailored many classic roles for his mother, just like the perfect work of Pygmalion.

I knew the love they had for each other, and I knew the pain and suffering they went through after their dreams of love and happiness faded. “Love is an action,” my mother would later tell me. “Love is more than just sitting down and talking. It never was.” It’s a truth.The mother also said, "We are born with the ability to love, but we still have to exercise it, just like we exercise other muscles." The failure of the two marriages made the mother very disappointed, but the relationship between her and Robert The relationship rekindled her hope for life, and it was this relationship that inspired her to face the unfortunate children in the world and the difficult job of UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador.Maybe the mother thought that if she couldn't heal the so-called adult trauma, maybe she could help the child.

I still remember those happy days we had in Rome.At that time my mother had just married her second husband, André Dotti, and soon I had a younger brother, Luca.When we returned to Dotty's house, every day there was a large table of people having lunch together. Everyone chatted about various topics at the table, and the atmosphere was relaxed and lively.I cherish this memory not just because Andre was a great stepfather, but because we really are one big happy family.From the perspective that my mother and Andre remained good friends after the divorce, perhaps my father was slightly disappointed that my mother had only limited contact with him over the years after the divorce.I think this may be because the scars of the first broken dream are heavier than the subsequent ones.The second time, my mother was much more relaxed and kept friends with Andre so that they could take care of Luca together.

In any case, the end of the two marriages cannot be said to be right or wrong.Everyone just grieves when two souls don't come together.From a certain point of view, the grandfather's running away from home caused great trauma to the mother's emotional world, and the regret and embarrassment caused by this trauma should bear some responsibility for the two failed marriages.This is like the king of Corinth who pushed a stone up a hill in Greek mythology.If you don't understand the rules of the game and its mysteries, no matter how hard you push, the last few feet will never be overcome.This kind of persistent pursuit and pure desire for feelings should be cared for and loved. Many times my mother lives in the emotional fantasy created by herself. It is a life that both men and women hope to have. For my mother , this is just a soap bubble that will burst at the touch of a button.

The mother always loved her husband with all her heart, and she did her best to keep the two marriages together.The only mistake she made was that she didn't express her feelings at the right time and listen to others at the same time.Between active and passive, the mother did not find a suitable dividing point.After being exhausted throughout her childhood by her controlling grandmother, her mother wanted to live a life of spontaneous emotion.But the two men she chose were not suitable for such a life. They both needed to learn how to deal with their feelings, just like the children she met later when she worked for UNICEF. Neither can respond correctly when a problem arises.The emotional world of a mother is simple: If you love and care for someone with all your heart, then he or she should do the same for you.However, to our great disappointment, the real world is not like this.

I still remember my younger brother Luca telling me about the time when my mother took Luca to the funeral of a good friend of hers, when Luca was only 14 years old, and she made him a pallbearer.When all the guests were gone, the mother put her arms around Luca, told him how she felt, and explained to him the meaning of death.Young Luca just looked at his mother, hugged her, and told her he understood her.My mother was very emotional at the time, her friend died of cancer, this person was a lifelong friend of my mother, and now he said goodbye to her and the world forever.Since then, my mother has become afraid of aging, not because she is afraid of wrinkles, but because she is unwilling to say goodbye to those real friends.

However, in life, my mother is a strong person, she has a strong will, and she always knows what kind of life she wants.As described by many people, my mother is a person who is weak on the outside and strong on the inside.For the last 12 years of her life, her mother was with Robert Walders.They are very similar in many ways, and although they are not completely equal and respectful to each other, and there are occasional tense quarrels in their lives, they have built a strong enough bond over the years of working together for UNICEF. The tacit understanding enables them to accompany each other through the last days of their lives.

So Evan Lanner always encouraged my mother to write her own story, without too much literary embellishment, just telling it the way she would in a TV interview.And my mother had read a lot of books and admired excellent literary works and writers very much. She was always worried that what she wrote would be some meaningless gadgets, so she was reluctant to start writing.Whenever we talked at the dinner table about that last contract that Ewen Lanner sent, my mother always said that everyone knew that her life was very ordinary, and the editor always asked her to write more" Some things about some people" to make the autobiography more readable, so my mother always refused to accept it.Mother hopes to keep the privacy of her life undisturbed, as long as she has the opportunity, she will fly back to her home in Switzerland from the spotlight of Hollywood, where she can enjoy the simple life she likes most, and no one will take her away. As a big star, no one will surround her asking for autographs and group photos.Switzerland is also a quiet country. Due to its neutrality, this country has not been invaded by war for more than 600 years. This kind of tranquility is very important to mothers who have been traumatized by war.However, after learning that the Swiss government froze a large number of Jewish properties during the war, that many Swiss factories manufactured special steel products for the German fascists during the war, and knowing that the Swiss government clearly knew the fate of the Jews after they returned to their country, they were still cruel. Mother's feelings about Switzerland also changed after the deportation of thousands of Jews across the border.Mother still loved the country, but felt a little guilty about the tranquility.If this kind of behavior is called neutrality, then what a cruel price this neutrality is built on!This also seems to prove that there is no real and complete neutrality in this world.