Chapter 7 feelings and emotions

I remember the familiar, soft and fresh smell of my mother. Whenever I opened the old box full of my mother's clothes, this smell would surround me tightly.In such an atmosphere, I recall her tender hands and affectionate embrace, which made me feel how much and deeply she loved me. I remember her long hair, and her bare feet, and when I was a crawling baby, every time she sat there getting dressed for a dinner party or a cocktail party, I would crawl on her knees. Her feet licked her feet like a puppy.Then she would stop what she was doing, look at me affectionately, and whisper to me: "Honey, I really want to stay, give me a reason to refuse the invitation, I would rather stay in the kitchen with you Eat those cold juices." Of course, she eventually had to leave me for those boring parties, but I knew how much she hated to be separated from me, how much she longed to be with the person she loved the most. own home.

I remember those beautiful evening dresses, from Givenchy to Valentino, the pea coats with large lapels in winter, the square-toed leather boots popular in the 70s, the cotton trousers and casual T-shirts in summer, but the most familiar to me It was ballet slippers and a long skirt, the way my mother always dressed in the mornings at home. I remember that after I went to school, she was more nervous and anxious than me before every exam.The day before the exam, she would ask me all the questions before I went to bed, and then do it again the next morning, even if it made her drowsy. I remember her elated look when I came home with a nice gradebook.Although she praised me a lot in her heart, she would say: "Well, it's not very good, and I have to keep working hard."

I remember on weekend nights we would lie in bed with the lights off and talk until whoever fell asleep first.We talk about everything like friends, from the present to the future, from the people around us to the past, most of the time we just chat about some trivial things in life, but everything seems a little special in the dark, it feels like two people Souls are communicating. I remember it all: feelings and emotions, two words my mother used a lot.In truth, however, the mother's feelings and emotions were never at peace for long.Someone once said: Feelings directly affect our behavior, while emotions indirectly affect our reactions.From this perspective, feelings are more important, and at the same time, there is a healthier system that is not as prone to fluctuations as emotions.My mother made everyone feel good, but she couldn't control her emotions and calm herself down.She was genuinely afraid of some things.The hurt her father left without saying goodbye was never really healed, and she never really believed in unchanging love.