Chapter 11 The first part

In August 1921, when Zhang Youyi told her husband that she was pregnant, Xu Zhimo, who was tortured by marriage, immediately said: "Kill the child." She never thought that her husband would say that.She knew that abortion was life-threatening. "I heard that some people died because of abortion." He said coldly: "There are also people who died because of train accidents. Did you see that they don't take the train?" After finishing speaking, he turned his face away .The relationship between husband and wife is further on the verge of collapse. During this period, Xu Zhimo invited Chinese female students studying at the University of Edinburgh to have dinner at his home.The schoolgirl wore a stylish navy blue dress and shiny leather shoes that showed tiny bound feet.Zhang Youyi thought she was Xu Zhimo's lover, and he wanted to marry her as a concubine.Although she is extremely reluctant, she still intends to accept the reality.After dinner, Xu Zhimo sent the female students to the train station.Distraught, she slowly washed the dishes.When Xu Zhimo came back, she was still in the kitchen.He fidgeted and turned around her.

After Zhang Youyi finished washing the dishes, he followed her to the living room and asked her what she thought of the female students.Zhang Youyi knew that she should accept the little lady chosen by her husband, so she said, "Well, she looks good, but her feet don't match the suit." Instead of pacing around the living room, he turned on his heels, as if his irritation and frustration had been released at once by her words, and suddenly screamed, "I knew it, and that's why I want a divorce." It was the first time he raised his voice to her.She felt that the room was suddenly too small to hold them any longer.She escaped through the back door, and the cold night air hit her face.He chased her all the way to the balcony and said out of breath, "I thought you were going to kill yourself!" He was worried that she would hit her head on the balcony railing.

One day a week later, Xu Zhimo suddenly disappeared.Painful and sad, Zhang Youyi felt like an "autumn fan", abandoned by others.A week passed, and there was still no sign of Xu Zhimo leaving without saying goodbye. One morning, Xu Zhimo's friend Huang Zimei came to ask Zhang Youyi if she would like to be Xu's daughter-in-law instead of Xu Zhimo's wife.Zhang Youyi, who didn't understand the meaning of the words, didn't make any answer. "If you are willing to do this, then everything will be easy." Huang Zimei said, "Xu Zhimo doesn't want you anymore."

After Huang Zimei left, the days passed day by day, and Xu Zhimo was still missing.Zhang Youyi, who stayed alone in Shaxton, had no choice but to write a distress letter to her second brother Zhang Junmai in Paris. The letter said that she was three months pregnant and Xu Zhimo wanted to divorce her. A friend came and asked her if she would like to "be Xu's daughter-in-law instead of his wife", and she asked her second brother what to do.A few days later, Zhang Junmai wrote a letter, expressing his sorrow for the news of the divorce in an old Chinese saying: "The pain of losing Xu Zhimo in the Zhang family is like mourning a concubine." At the same time, he pointed out to his younger sister, "Don't abort the baby, brother is willing to adopt. Put everything aside. Come to Paris.” So Zhang Youyi immediately took what she needed to bring, and followed the route marked by her brother in the letter to Paris.After her brother's comfort and persuasion, she gradually calmed down.This spiritual change made this strong woman decide to take the road of self-improvement and self-reliance.She obeyed her brother's orders and lived in the countryside of Paris.It wasn't until the seventh brother came from China and learned her address through the second brother, and after visiting her in the countryside, she went to Germany with the seventh brother.

In February 1922, Zhang Youyi gave birth to Xu Zhimo's second son Desheng (Peter) in Berlin.However, the birth of the child did not hold back the father's mad love.Perhaps, it is this kind of powerlessness that doomed him to drift away, and let the men and women in the world of mortals chew on it for themselves. Ever since she came to the European continent, whether in Paris or Berlin, Zhang Youyi had never seen Xu Zhimo until her child was born. Zhang Youyi, who had just been discharged from the hospital in early March, saw a letter "To Zhang Youyi" from Xu Zhimo at her seventh brother's house.Xu Zhimo wrote an impassioned letter to his wife of six years, formally filing a divorce request to her: "...a marriage without love is unbearable, and freedom repays freedom. A true life must strive for itself. True happiness must be obtained through struggle and self-seeking, true love must also be obtained through struggle and self-seeking! The future of each other is boundless... Each other has the heart to improve the society and the heart to benefit mankind. First set an example and be brave Making decisions, respecting each other's personality, free divorce, ending pain, and beginning happiness are all here." She immediately called Wu Jingxiong, who sent the letter, and said that she would go to Wu's house to see Xu Zhimo the next day.

The next day, Zhang Youyi came to Wu's house, and Xu Zhimo was already there.Not seeing each other for half a year, Xu Zhimo looks healthy and happy.Four friends circled him in the living room, acting like escorts.Zhang Youyi only knows Wu Jingxiong and Jin Yuelin who came to Europe from the United States. "If you want a divorce, it's easy." Zhang Youyi said calmly and coldly. "I've told my parents and they're in favor of it." "You have parents, and I have parents. If possible, let me wait for my parents to approve this." "No, no," Xu Zhimo shook his head impatiently and said, "You know, I don't have time to wait, you must sign now, Lin Huiyin..."

Zhang Youyi thought, why should he write about courage and ideals in the letter?He just wanted his girlfriend, so he was so impatient.Years later, someone asked Zhang Youyi whether Xu Zhimo's request for a divorce was a revolutionary move. Zhang Youyi always said "no" because he had a girlfriend first.If he asked for a divorce just because he didn't love her, she would think he was acting on his own convictions, and that would be a revolutionary feat. Xu Zhimo looked at Zhang Youyi motionlessly, holding the drafted divorce papers tightly in his hand. "Then—alright." Zhang Youyi said, "If you think the divorce is the right thing to do, I'll sign it."

Xu Zhimo was overjoyed when he heard that, and handed over the document with a smile on his face, unable to say by himself: "Great, great. You know, we must do this, China must get rid of the old habits, we must divorce "Just one week after Xu Zhimo and Zhang Youyi's second son was born, with the testimony of Wu Jingxiong and Jin Yuelin, Xu Zhimo and Zhang Youyi officially signed the divorce agreement. Because of lack of love, Xu Zhimo, who is romantic, sincere, infatuated and persistent, is ruthless to his original wife.Zhang Youyi, who was pregnant in a foreign land, lost the courage to survive several times in the isolated and helpless situation, but finally she became strong and decided to stay in a foreign land and start her life again.After the divorce, Zhang Youyi stayed in Germany to study. She firmly believed that she could have an independent self and raise her son alone. After returning to China in 1926, Zhang Youyi began to develop her career in Shanghai. She taught German at Soochow University, took over the Shanghai Women's Commercial Bank, and ran the Yunshang Clothing Company, all with great success.She stepped out of the shadow of her little feet and became an eye-catching new woman, but she never walked out of Xu Zhimo's world in her life.She maintains a strange relationship with her husband's family, runs a business together, carefully raises her and Xu Zhimo's son, and still serves Xu Zhimo's parents (recognized as a foster daughter), and even presides over the funeral by her.

Many years later, when asked about her relationship with Xu Zhimo, Zhang Youyi said: "You always ask me whether I love Xu Zhimo. You know, I can't answer this question. I am very confused about this question because Everyone always tells me that I must love Xu Zhimo because I have done so many things for him. However, I can't say what love is. I have never said 'I love you' to anyone in my life. If taking care of Xu Zhimo and his family is called love, then I probably love him. Among the few women he met in his life, maybe I love him the most." Xu Zhimo, who had a free body, was overjoyed, and wrote the precious poem "Laughing and Solving Troubled Knots-Send You Yi" in a romantic and exaggerated style, and published it on "New Zhejiang":

This knot of troubles, who twisted it so hard to get through? Who has the heart to weave these knots of troubles? How many tears and bloodstains in this knot should turn into Shen Bi! Loyalty, filial piety——cough, loyalty, filial piety, and righteousness thank you for maintaining Four thousand years of history is endless, But grinds the human soul to dust, The Yellow Sea is not tide, Kunlun sighs, Forty million souls are dying, and the devils in the Central Plains are weeping! Cough, loyalty, filial piety and righteousness! ………… how!After all, disbandment, troubles are hard to end, troubles are hard to end.

Come, now let go of your face and smile, and shake hands; After listening to the sound of joy in the evening, Nian Dao disbanded Knot, Annoyances eliminated! In November of the same year, "Xu Zhimo and Zhang Youyi's Divorce Notice" written by Xu Zhimo was also published in the "Divorce Number" of "New Friends", a supplement of "New Zhejiang". The divorce between Xu Zhimo and Zhang Youyi was the first free and civilized divorce case in modern China.In addition to informing Xu and Zhang of the divorce, the announcement also expressed some opinions on the divorce itself.Xu Zhimo pointed out that the divorce of husband and wife is equal to both parties. It is not like the traditional belief that women always suffer. Therefore, people should break the myth that men must marry women.It is absolutely not a problem for a man to remarry. In fact, there is always inequality in the chances of a woman to remarry.This is not only because women are not emancipated, but also because men are not fully emancipated.Therefore, Xu Zhimo hopes that everyone will work hard to get rid of bad habits and superstitions and realize the ideal of equality between men and women.At the end of the announcement, Xu Zhimo is full of confidence and hope for the renewal of morality: "We believe that moral bravery is the spirit of this new era, and humanity is the standard of innovation." Xu Zhimo's earth-shattering divorce announcement, whose name has not yet spread far, immediately shocked China with this headline news, resulting in the first Western-style divorce in modern history, challenging China's feudal marriage system a hundred years ago.People were amazed and chattered. In January 1923, after Liang Qichao learned of Xu Zhimo's divorce in Shanghai, he immediately wrote to Xu Zhimo who was in Beijing at the time, trying to persuade him: "First, you must not change your own happiness with the pain of others. My brother's move, It is as uncertain as chasing after the wind whether you will be able to obtain happiness in the future, but it has already caused countless pains to most people. Second, the sacredness of love is something that today's young people are happy to talk about.... This is a matter that can be met but not impossible. Begging....For people who are sentimental and sentimental, their fantasies are ups and downs, and it is extremely difficult to be satisfied. The sacred realm that they dream of may not be attainable, and they will end up with troubles. Alas, Zhimo, the world Is there a perfect universe?... You should know that our life attitude is not to seek perfection, so you can appreciate the wonderful taste of life.... If you are addicted to unavoidable dreams, you will fail several times, your business will be exhausted, and Yu Yi Tuoxi will die , death is nameless. Death is still possible. The most feared person is neither dead nor born, but degenerated to the point where he can no longer extricate himself. Woohoo Zhimo, there is no fear! There is no fear!" Liang Qichao's words came from the heart, and his words were sincere, and he actually saw that Xu Zhimo's behavior was to pursue a "sacred realm of dreams". , so he warned Xu Zhimo: "Is there a perfect universe in the world?" This kind of anti-idealism is unacceptable to Xu Zhimo. Full of romantic beliefs, he believes that the meaning of life is not to live in reality, but to relentlessly pursue ideals.He immediately wrote back to the teacher.First of all, it is not recognized that he trades the suffering of others for his own happiness: "My willingness to risk the injustice of the world, and to fight with all my strength, is not to seek to avoid the terrible pain, but to seek the peace of conscience and the establishment of personality. Seek the salvation of the soul. Who does not seek mediocrity? Who is uneasy about ready-made? Who is not afraid of hardships and dangers? However, if there are people who break through, how can the husband have to do it?" Second, he admits that love is rare But he can't ask for it, but he can't help pursuing it: "I will visit my only soul mate in the vast sea of ​​people; if I get it, I'm lucky; if I can't, it's my fate. That's all." Third, he firmly believes that his ideal is It can be created and cultivated: "My husband, my teacher: I have tasted the essence of my soul to condense it into an ideal pearl, which is filled with passion and hard work, and illuminates my profound spiritual palace. The vulgar taboo is jealous and lustful. Numb their souls, crush their ideals, kill their hopes, and defile their purity! I don’t flow into depravity, cowardice, and filth, and the amount of it is insignificant!” What a naive idealist!He firmly believes that an ideal life must have love, freedom, and beauty. He firmly believes that this trinity of life can be pursued, or at least cultivated with pure heart and soul.Therefore, his good friend Hu Shi said: "His outlook on life is really a kind of 'pure belief'. There are only three characters in it: one is love, the other is freedom, and the other is beauty. He dreams that these three ideal conditions can be met. In a person's life, this is his 'pure belief'. The history of his life is only the history of his pursuit of the realization of this simple belief." In March 1922, the free Xu Zhimo returned to Cambridge to find his love and beauty, and as early as a few months ago, in October 1921, Lin Huiyin had returned to China with his father. "Huihui, give me a future..." he said. "I'm a cloud in the sky," she said.She was too scared to escape her love for "You are the light in my heart", too timid to bear it, and wise to try to avoid it.Don't suspect that I'm afraid, don't accuse me of cowardice, and don't say that I'm wise, loving, and don't need the commitment of secular marriage.she says: Forget that there was this world and you; Mourning who was ever in love, fell like flowers; Forget about the emotions in these tears. On that day nothing will remain, Fewer traces than a flash, a breath of wind; you also forget me have lived in this world.