Chapter 12 The first part

Xu Zhimo, who returned to Cambridge, only felt that people were gone and the building was empty, and things were different.In pain and helplessness, he especially hopes to get comfort and spiritual support from his friends. In October 1921, after Ogden's introduction, Xu Zhimo met Russell, whom he had admired for a long time. Russell, who is talented and humorous, talks and laughs, and is unruly.His concepts of despising secular prejudices, attacking baseness and hypocrisy, advocating the creation of happiness, pursuing the joy of life, loving peace, civilization, human beings, and defending freedom of thought and creation have influenced Xu Zhimo's lifelong search for ideals and soul mates.Russell's temperament and demeanor, his aristocratic gentleman's fun manners, and his harsh and hard-edged debates and criticisms shaped Xu Zhimo's later self-confidence, debate and rebellious personality.The cultivation of Russell's personality charm, his courageous image of not bowing his head in adversity, not bowing his head to external forces, and his fearless spirit of going to jail for the truth rather than idling for life, deeply moved this man. A young man from the East.

Since then, Xu Zhimo has often traveled between Cambridge and London, either to listen to Russell's teachings or to participate in various activities initiated by Russell.As a result, he became a guest at the Russell family.At this time, Xu Zhimo read Russell's works crazily, and admired Russell so much. In November, Russell gave birth to a son.Xu Zhimo was very happy when he learned about it. On December 6 he expressed his warmest congratulations in a letter to Russell.Their happy news was told to Xu Zhimo in Cambridge by Miss Powell.For the arrival of a beautiful baby, Xu Zhimo said that according to the traditional Chinese customs, a special celebration will be held on the day of the child's full moon. He and his Chinese classmates have sent out formal invitations and prepared everything. Please invite Russell and his wife to Cambridge Come. On December 10, the Russells arrived on time with their newborn son.They saw the paper-cut "Xi" character beside the door, and there was a red couplet pasted on the door, with Chinese square characters on the couplet. The couple were very grateful.The official congratulations are to eat red eggs and longevity noodles lively.The Russells found it amusing and enjoyable.The happy Russell praised loudly that life should be interesting.

When Xu Zhimo was struggling with divorce, he wrote to Russell in February 1922 to ask him for advice, and met with Russell alone to discuss in detail.It is impossible to know what they talked about.What is certain is that Russell had an effect on Xu Zhimo's actions. In July 1925, Xu Zhimo, who came to Europe for the second time, went to England to meet Russell.Russell drove a broken car to pick up Xu Zhimo at the station that day.He was wearing a flowered straw hat and a tattered gown, with a tie floating on his chest like straw.This countryman's attire made Xu Zhimo almost fail to recognize him.Still, there was a philosopher's wit in his sharp eyes.Xu Zhimo chatted with Russell, who was a hermit in the remote south, and stayed at his house for two nights. In 1928, Xu Zhimo went to Europe for the third time and saw Russell for the last time.The two of them sat and talked for a long time, and before they knew it, it was two o'clock in the morning.

Russell's wisdom and charisma fascinated Xu Zhimo forever, and the meeting between them made him unforgettable.Those who care about and care for themselves are also close friends in distant countries; those who understand and encourage themselves are also confidants in foreign lands.When Russell, who cherished friendship, classified and edited his letters in 1959, the octogenarian philosopher wrote in the column of Xu Zhimo’s letters: “Mr. , is also a poet who can write in both Chinese and English.” It is Mansfield who really illuminates Xu Zhimo's soul with the brilliance of personality, and it is "the twenty minutes of immortality".

The British female writer Mansfield, also known as Mansfield as Xu Zhimo said, enjoys the title of "Master of Short Stories" in the history of modern world literature.Born in a family with a good artistic atmosphere, she loves to read and think, and to experience life deeply at all costs.Russell, Lawrence and others were deeply moved by her talent and beauty, and Lawrence also included her in his works.However, her love and marriage are full of tragedy.On the night of her first marriage, she escaped, and she joined the ranks of writers with a lonely heart. In 1912, she met Mai Ray, who was only 22 years old at the time, and found her ideal partner and spiritual destination.After nine years of love, they became husband and wife.Unfortunately, less than a year after their marriage, Mansfield died of lung disease.

In Cambridge, where the literary style was at its peak, Xu Zhimo also had close contacts with Mai Lei, the editor-in-chief of the "Athena Temple" magazine, poet and literary critic at that time.They often discuss the situation of English and French literary circles, the trend of Chinese Renaissance and Russian literature in the ABC Tea Room in London.The two agree quite a lot, especially when it comes to the Russian novelist Chekhov.Because Xu Zhimo admired Mai Lei's wife, Mai Lei arranged for him to visit his wife when she returned to London from the European continent in July 1922 for a short stay.Due to his frailty and sickness, Mansfield could not withstand the foggy and rainy weather in England, so he often lived in Switzerland, France and other European continents.

It was a rainy night, and Xu Zhimo came to Heimstud alone in the rain, and asked passers-by in London, looking for No. 10 Pender Street.In recalling Mansfield's beautiful essay "Mansfield", Xu Zhimo said that it was the first, unfortunate and last time he saw her. I finally found it. It was a small house on the first floor and the ground floor. Mai Lei opened the door.Xu Zhimo entered the door in embarrassment with an umbrella and some scrolls of Chinese calligraphy and paintings.He took off his poncho, and McRae let him into a room on the right.Before that, Xu Zhimo only had admiration and expectation for Mansfield for a famous and legendary young female writer. He thought she was the same as the female writers he had seen at that time, such as Wolfe and McKawley.They never expected her to have such a pure beauty, let alone her celestial spirit, the incarnation of her love, beauty, ideals, and freedom.

Xu Zhimo was a little disappointed at that time, because she couldn't go downstairs when he came to meet her in the rain; and Mai Lei waited for him, which made him more curious about her.He thought he was out of luck.It was already half past ten at that time, Xu Zhimo had no choice but to get up to say goodbye, and Mai Lei walked out of the room with him and helped him put on his raincoat.As he was getting dressed, he said he was sorry because she couldn't come down tonight, otherwise he would really like to see her.But Mai Ray told him very sincerely that if he didn't mind, he might as well go upstairs and meet him.Xu Zhimo was overjoyed, immediately took off his raincoat, and followed Mai Lei up the stairs.

Entering the door, introducing, the first two guests withdrew, Xu Zhimo sat down, and Mansfield also sat down opposite.Seeing her, Xu Zhimo only felt as if he walked into a brightly lit house from a dark street, or walked out of a dark room and suddenly faced the strong sunlight, which made people dizzy. things.The charm of Meishen engulfed the dumbfounded Xu Zhimo.Xu Zhimo, who was at a loss, was bewildered and intoxicated by the lighting of the room and her rich and splendid clothes. Xu Zhimo's attention was focused on her, but his impression of her room layout was blurred.He only remembered that her room was small, and a big bed almost took up the whole space.On the wall framed with drawing paper, there are several oil paintings hanging, probably painted by the owner.Those two electric lights seemed to be covered with red, which reminded him of the scene of burning red candles.Xu Zhimo sat with her on a blue velvet sofa.Because he was reclining and she was sitting upright, she was much taller than Xu Zhimo.But it doesn't matter, what's important is her who gave him the purest sense of beauty; she who let him use the secret key to heaven given by God; she who added another treasure to the storehouse of his soul.But to describe that night in words, not to mention expressing the essence of her humanity, but to faithfully describe her own feelings, Xu Zhimo felt that it was stretched.

She wore shiny patent leather shoes, shiny green silk stockings, a bay red velvet apron, and a bright yellow chiffon top.The neckline is pointed, a string of thin pearls hangs on the chest, and the cuffs reach to the elbow.A head of short black hair, imitating Chinese women, straight and not curly, combed neatly and smoothly.Xu Zhimo only felt that the beauty of her hair was the only one he had ever seen in his life. He was struck by a pure beauty.Her delicate and clear eyebrows, mouth and nose are the masterpieces of nature.Whether it is the lakes and mountains washed by the autumn moon, the colorful sunset, the clear starry sky in the South Seas, or the ingenious works of art, Beethoven's symphonies, Wagner's operas, Michelangelo's statues, Whistler or Corot's paintings are all Incomparable.Her appearance is like the clearest jade carving in India; her gaze is like the electric current full of soul; her demeanor is like the warmest spring breeze.It is total beauty, pure beauty, total beauty, unanalyzable beauty, palpable beauty.It seems to be personally appreciating the most brilliant attainments of the creation of heaven and earth, as if experiencing infinite joy in the greatest and deepest stimulation, as if melting the human spirit in the superhuman personality.Xu Zhimo can only call her a beautiful elf, delicate and exquisite, crystal clear.Even her gorgeous dress is like the green leaves of a peony, the icing on the cake.Her good friend Tang Linsheng once compared her pure and supernatural beauty with the eternal snow on the top of the Alps, and Xu Zhimo was full of praise for this comparison.Tang Linsheng said:

"Manshufeier is called beautiful, but beauty is not enough to describe its truth. The world considers beauty to be beautiful. Manshufeier is certainly lovable, but how can it escape from the mortal world? It is as beautiful as snow on a high mountain, clear and clear to the sky. Surprised, but its coolness can also be felt, the sun is covered with snow, and it turns into a brilliant color, which is also clearly recognizable, but it also seems that the realm of the gods is far away, not belonging to the world. His eyes are black, his cheeks are plump, his hair ring is as neat as a paintbrush, and his demeanor is calm and quiet, with the brilliance of a Chinese and charming man, but not the appearance of a Western beauty. His body is especially young and graceful. , like the still flame of a bright candle, like the beauty of a morning star, the speaker is not surprised at the turbidity of his breath, but those who think it is quiet and dull will be deified..." Tang Linsheng said that she has sharp eyesight, penetrates the depths of your soul, and illuminates the secrets in your heart.So she has aura.The mountains are surrounded by mist, and the white clouds depend on each other; the dewdrops are dotted, and the glow is bleak.She looks at you, looks straight into your heart, and explores the connotation hidden in you.In front of her, there is no need to be pretentious; no need to be scheming, no need to have a city in mind.She won't blame, she won't encourage, she won't praise, she just listens silently, and then tells you her own opinion that is beyond good and evil—the truth. The quiet light envelops her graceful figure and delicate face.Xu Zhimo seemed to be hypnotized, like falling five miles into the clouds, just staring at her godly eyes, letting her sword-like light waves and music-like sound waves rush towards his heart like a storm pouring. Her voice is beautiful.Each note trembled from her fragile vocal cords, to Xu Zhimo's ears, it seemed to reveal a magical artistic conception in his ears immersed in the world for a long time.As if in the blue sky, stars emerged one after another.It’s like listening to music, although you have never heard it in your life, but you always feel as if you have heard it before, maybe in a dream, maybe in a previous life.Her voice not only arouses the beauty of your hearing, but also goes straight to your heart, soothes your pent-up pain, lights up your hopeless desire, wakes up your sleeping soul, and increases your spiritual joy; it seems to be whispering in the ear of your soul , Like a mirage that is unattainable.However, before long, she abandoned the world of mortals and drifted away.Her voice and smile are also gone with the wind.Xu Zhimo sadly recites Abt Vogler's poem: her voice is gone but we are all for this melodious voice lives when eternity proves that time exists ... It was enough for him to hear it once we will hear soon Mansfield suffered from severe lung disease, and Meihui was weak. Xu Zhimo clearly felt that when she spoke a little higher, the sound of her weak lungs would reach his ears, which made him extremely worried.When she paused in every sentence, she was always short of breath, and her cheeks were flushed layer by layer, which made him infinitely sad.Her genius excitement caused his chest to rise and fall, making him feel pity even more. Xu Zhimo said that his conversation with Mansfield was very interesting, most of which were her comments on the most popular novelists in Britain at that time.But the conversation soon turned to China.She said that she had just returned from Switzerland, where she lived quite close to the Russell couple, and often talked about the benefits of the East, so her original admiration for China turned into a passion for admiration.She said that she loves to read Chinese poems translated by Arthur Waley, and she said that such poetic art is a wonderful revelation in the West.She also asked Xu Zhimo if he had translated it, and repeatedly advised him to try it, because she believed that only Chinese people could translate Chinese poetry well.Xu Zhimo also talked about Chekhov with her in particular.She graciously asked about Chekhov's reception and translation status in China. She asked Xu Zhimo if he liked the works of Hardy and Conrad, and said that there are excellent literature and real art among the famous literary works in the past, which are inexhaustible art arsenal. Mansfield was very concerned about Xu Zhimo's plans after returning to China, and she strongly hoped that he would not get involved in politics, because the modern political world in that country was just a mess of cruelty and crime.Zhimo took her admonition firmly to heart and stayed away from politics for life.This is an intriguing turn for a person who was obsessed with and passionate about politics in his early years, and who came from a major in political economy. When it comes to her own works, Mansfield believes that her works are pure art, and the public is not what she pursues. Xu Zhimo said that he might have the opportunity to try to translate her novels in the future, and he was willing to ask her permission first.Mansfield said happily that of course she would.Xu Zhimo accepted the great trust of translating her novels. In November 1924, the collection of novels "Manshu Feier" jointly translated by him and Chen Yuan was published. In April 1927, his independently translated "British Manshfield Fiction Collection" was published. In September 1930, his translation of her novel was published in Changfeng magazine. After parting, she and Xu Zhimo will meet each other in Switzerland next summer.She said that she loves the blue sky and white clouds in Switzerland, and the clear and charming Aegean Lake. Xu Zhimo immediately imagined it, as if he was rowing with her among the blue waves in the middle of the lake: Clear, calm Lake Geneva your soft whisper like a woman's sweet whisper this flowing joy make my heart beat forever It's too late to meet each other, hold hands and shake hands, summer will last.Unexpectedly, it was a farewell. In January 1923, Mansfield bid farewell to the world, and his soul returned to Asgard.In March of the same year, after hearing the news, Xu Zhimo burst into tears, staring at the sky, and his tears turned into the deep sorrow of "Aiman ​​Shufeier": Last night I dreamed in the valley, Listening to Zigui weeping blood among the lilies, I dreamed of climbing the peak last night, See a bright tear falling from the sky. ………… How can my grief fly like lightning, Move your soul far away in the sky? I send my tears away to the wind, When will the gate of life and death be broken through?