Chapter 9 Chapter 6 1916, Cornwall - 1

You are very happy, I am very happy.That's the only way to be happy--a man and a woman in close love, no matter what changes in the world, only a fool would worry about the world.One should be in love, be happy - that's enough.Unless there are some friends who can make you happier, that's even better, let's be happy together. - DH Lawrence January 17, 1916 At the kind invitation of Lawrence, the Murrays went to Zeller in early April 1916. In the following year, Catherine did not write anything she thought was worth keeping. I wrote in the middle of the month, and I didn’t keep a diary, and I almost stopped writing during the next 7 months in London. Could it be that Goodyear’s truth made Catherine lose confidence in her writing ability during this entire period!But there were other reasons, too: Celtic Cornwall "strewn with huge rocks", the alienation and annoyance shown by the Lawrences, combined with the constant moving, though each with good reasons.

"Catherine looked like an immigrant", this is what Frieda said in her book "It's Not Me, It's the Wind"①. She described the scene when the Murrays arrived: "They sat high Down the high road to Tregerson in a wagon full of furniture"—reminiscent of another immigrant, Arthur Beecham, whose chickens would He stretched out his feet obediently and let his master bind him. Since Murray and Catherine lived together in 1912, they have moved at least 16 times, and since Catherine herself came to London in 1908, she has changed her correspondence address 29 times (not including her travels to Belgium or her relationship with Garnett? Trouville’s small residence), since I met Lawrence, I have moved 6 times under his influence, and the 7th time is just around the corner.Maybe genetics doesn't matter as far as the Murrays and the Lawrences are the product of four eras, but those ancestral hens do keep scratching their backs.

The mess was brought from Hokkasia Road, where they rented a room in a hotel in Zelleria ("I'll never like the place," said Catherine), bought some cheap old furniture, and told the postman to put Their mail was delivered to Lawrence, and they began decorating another farmhouse with paint and paint, with Lawrence helping enthusiastically. Obertregsen consists of two tiled-roofed buildings and once contained five small workers' quarters. The "farmhouse" is a long house facing east along the coast, and all three residences are connected. This is what the Murrays rent for 16 pounds a year.Two farmhouses in another building facing the sea, one vacant, the Lawrences live in the other - one upstairs, one downstairs, and a long storage room - £5 a year .They shared an outhouse and went to a spring in the mountains to get water from the farmhouse on Tregerson, which was closer to the sea than the farmhouse.

In Chesham, when Frieda says that Lawrence "possesses her as a dog takes a bitch", it is of course only in general terms, but judging by the chapter "Hiking" in Women in Love, perhaps there is something to it. refer to.Whatever was wrong, Murray believed it was Frieda (Katherine once wrote Jack that "she was such an obnoxious fat thing, Lawrence was so confused"). ①A place-name in Cornwall, where Lawrence lived at the time. ——Ze Note ① This is a memoir written by Frieda about her life with Lawrence since she got acquainted. Published in 1991. —Annotation Frieda was harboring a grudge against Mrs. Ottering at the time, and Frieda wrote her a letter the week the Murrays arrived, venting her rage, accusing her of "arrogance," Wanted to establish "an abnormal relationship" with Lawrence.A few days later, the postman, as usual, gave the Lawrences some mail from the Murrays. There was a letter from Jiaxington. Frieda apparently opened the envelope secretly, or just knew by intuition that her letter was enclosed. An angry letter, because after an hour or so, Lawrence said flatly to Murray, "O sent you a letter from Frieda."

Lawrence completely sided with Frieda in this matter, and spent a long time trying to convince Murray and Catherine that they were betraying him by continuing to be Otline's friends, and that they should "make a fuss" with her. Yichao, although it is only for the sake of the Lawrence couple, it is better not to do this, and so on. So Murray tried to analyze their situation with Altrin, saying that Lawrence seemed younger and happier in many ways now than he had been in the past, but he paid a price for this happiness, and he must have lost something: "I I don't think he'll create anything of value in the future." (Lawrence was actually starting to rewrite "Women in Love" at this time, symbolically describing two couples who did resemble the four of them.) As for Frieda, "we're really afraid of her", one day she will turn against the Murrays.Because she felt they threatened the advantage she now had over Lawrence.For three years they had tried to like her, but she had turned them off by her "utter vulgarity"; perhaps for the same reason she turned on Otline: no longer the wife of a man who could afford three servants, she Feel yourself degraded and despise yourself.The Murrays, who will start writing as soon as they move into their farmhouse, are currently living in a hotel, "hanging in mid-air".

At this point the postman arrives with Goodyear's "psychoanalysis" of Catherine, and what follows is the longest break (or self-restraint) of her writing career. Despite Frieda's wrath, there were initially pleasant moments in "The Evil Group," with Lawrence calling Murray "one of the few people I trust" in January, and the two will now be traveling with their backs. The bag happily climbed up the road to St. Evis Hill. Lawrence, like a friendly gardener, made Murray feel that there was something in him worth discovering, but what Lawrence really wanted from Jack was something he could not understand. As soon as he's aware of it, he backs off. When Lawrence starts talking about brotherhood, hinting at the need for an unbreakable bond of holy brotherhood between them, as in the novel, Murray immediately backs off, but a little Nor did he think what this refusal meant to Lawrence—although "Prussian Officer" might make him understand-from the perspective of literary criticism, Rupert Pachin in "Women in Love" is Lawrence, or Gerald Clutch is Murray, of course not, but in fact Lawrence is sitting in the farmhouse writing a novel in which there is a man who, like him, longs to be able to love a woman, but cannot (because being with a woman , he felt there was either too much sisterly love or just a "brutal primal desire"), the same man who felt attracted to two types of men - one with fair complexion, lithe limbs, and radiant eyes blue, another with "dark eyes into which one seems to plunge," "a man with dark skin, soft, and scented with the night," gazing with "heavy dark eyes enveloping everything," these words From the Preface, which was first published in 1968.

Later in the novel, when Rupert longs for "further association," Gerald recoils from the heavy, dark gaze that envelops everything, and indeed a similar situation occurs at Upper Tregerson. Catherine, meanwhile, is frustrated because "everything seems to be made of big rocks" and feels that her Jack at Boleyn Cottage has been dragged away from her and is being led astray, learning to act in ways she finds utterly absurd. way of looking at life.She wrote to Beatrice Campbell, "I will never see sex in trees, in running streams, in stones, in everything," but in her There was not the slightest hint of homosexuality in the letter, she, like Murray, hadn't thought about it at all, and she held Frieda to be responsible for all these "symbols."

Catherine felt that he was attracted to Lawrence and began to feel that she was in a mood that "belongs to no one", and once Catherine was sad, Murray was not a whole person, and he immediately returned to her. It was disastrous for Lawrence, who for a long time had frequent tantrums - which had something to do with his illness - and which were now more frequent. The worst—Murray was tight-lipped about its unsavory details—occurred in the first week of May.Catherine told Curt that she was not talking to Frieda at the moment, and she was extremely estranged from Lawrence, all because she couldn't bear the situation between them, and she didn't know which kind of situation disgusted her more-they loved each other and liked each other or they yelled, and Lawrence pulled Frieda's hair and said, "I'll cut your throat, you bitch." Unlike him, he would rage until he was so exhausted that he couldn't stand upright and had to lie down on the bed.As long as there is a dispute, he will say that it is because your sex life is wrong and your spirit is mean.

Catherine says "he's really paranoid at the moment" because Frieda has given him enough. On Friday, May 5th, Catherine went to have tea with them. Unfortunately, when Shelley was mentioned, Frieda said, "I think he's talking nonsense," and Lawrence said, "You're just trying to show off, Shelley's the only poem you know." So Frieda said, "I've had enough, get out, you Almighty God, I don't want to see you again, will you shut up or not!" Lawrence said, "I'm going to slap you to shut up, you bitch" and so on.Catherine escaped and ran home in one breath.

Laurence came to dine with Catherine and Murray that evening, but Frieda refused to come.Lawrence said, "If she dares to come near this table, I will slit her throat."Frieda came after dinner and walked up and down in the night outside.Lawrence ran towards her suddenly, and they started screaming and tearing, he hit her on the head, her face, her chest, pulled her hair, and she cried out to Jack, "Protect me, save me!" and they rushed Into Murray's kitchen, running around the table—Lawrence, livid with rage, stepped back, waved forward, and "slapped this big fat woman" (Catherine told Ottering), "but I Lawrence was very sorry, but had no sympathy for Frieda, and Murray later told me he felt the same — he didn't think a woman was being beaten at all."

Then Lawrence collapsed in one chair, Frieda in another, and no one said a word, "except for Frieda's sobbing and sniffing, the room was silent".Lawrence, almost out of breath, sat staring at the floor, biting his nails, raised his head after a long time, asked Murray a question about French literature, Murray answered, and the three of them gradually settled down to the table Coming up, Frieda poured herself some coffee, and half an hour later they were almost reconciled and began to "remember at the same time a very delicious, rich, but expensive macaroni and cheese they had once had." Frieda lay in bed the next day, and Lawrence brought her food upstairs and began to lace her hat, and in the afternoon she sang ("on purpose"), joined by Lawrence, and suffered After the spanking, she seemed to recover, and seemed to relish it, for she began to make her own clothes, put flowers in her hair, and talk to Lawrence in a little girl's voice, "It left Murray and I dumbfounded. , very disgusted--especially disgusted!" ① Gordon Campbell's wife, Campbell himself served as the Assistant Auditor of the British Munitions Department from 1915 to 1918. He had close contacts with Lawrence, Catherine and others. ——Annotation Their relationship ended like this, and the "dear person" in him who both loved once hid, disappeared, disappeared without a trace—"Like a small golden ring Buried in Frieda's gigantic German Christmas pudding, even the most hungry can't eat it Frieda finds him and waits for someone with a knife to cut her into pieces so he can see the light and shine again . But he himself did not want this to happen. " In all the letters between Murray and Catherine there is hardly a word against Lawrence, only sympathy and regret for him.The Murrays began to look for another place to live. The two couples hid in their huts, each thanked that their love was different from the other, and each used the word "disgust". The narrow, fiery intimacy of wives was repulsive, and these married people, shutting their doors and imprisoning themselves in this uncommunicative union, repulsed him even if it were love. ". Thus Gudrun and Gerald are described as going to ruin, while their archetypes are much simpler and more human.Jack and Catherine were just in love with each other then, like people do sometimes, and didn't want to be disturbed, but whoever happened to be writing Women in Love at the time was disgusted, disgusted. Although Gudrun and Gerald are generally considered to be Catherine and Murray's portrayals, they themselves did not think so when the book was published.This is perhaps not surprising, since the story line (Gudrun leaves Gerald for Lyleco) is drawn from the Collsbury scene (Katherine leaves Murray for Gertler) rather than from their actual lives, Only the opening paragraphs seemed to have Catherine in mind when Lawrence wrote them: "Gudrun was a sculptor, fond of little things, of observing men with quiet curiosity, of showing them what they really were, and of immobilizing them Change until they're done, sealed, stamped, and then it's over for her." Her "overtightened literary nerves that have lost their elasticity" have found peace and relaxation in this active life. One letter to Beatrice Campbell, written when she was in a bad mood, when the roof was leaking and water jugs were strewn about the floor, said she had just reread "Aloe Vera," and "now I I can't believe I wrote this." The Murrays used the damp as an excuse to start looking for a house on the warm and tree-filled south coast. They found a house with an annual rent of 18 pounds in Mellor, 30 miles away, on the edge of a bay called Cary Rhodes. charming cottage.They moved out in mid-June, leaving Lawrence and Frieda to watch gulls fight ravens.When he parted from Lawrence, Murray felt that he had said goodbye to him forever.Three weeks later, however, they unexpectedly met again. Sunny Cottage, nestled in the woods beside a tidal river, was the most beautiful home the Murrays had ever known.There is a vegetable garden sloping down to the water's edge, and across the river are quiet fields where a boat can be rowed, which Murray would love to do, but his only income comes from writing reviews for the Literary Supplement, so he has to rent a A dinghy, he came back from Filmers with a load of old French books, which he read incessantly, while Catherine found him estranged from her, and she herself did not incessantly write.Something was wrong between them again, and she tried to escape again; ten days later, she wrote a cryptic letter, telling Kurt that she was going to London and that she would tell him her intentions when they met. At this time, Goodyear came home from France for vacation, and I came here to congratulate him on his vacation, because he accepted a mission that could go to the front line. On the surface, he came to see Murray and Catherine, but in fact it was even worse. ①One of the heroines in "Women in Love". ——Annotation ①A British port city, located in the southwest corner of England. ——Annotation can be to indulge my hidden (or unhidden) love for Catherine again and find that she is not happy. It seemed that he had inspired her to go to Denmark, a country he knew well. He said he wanted to see Lawrence, so Murray had to take him to Zeller for the night (sleeping on Catherine's floor), and Lawrence heard about the situation and told Curt that the Murrays "have a date." First, both are free."Catherine wrote to Curt that she was going to the city, lived with the Campbells, wanted to find some rooms, and planned to go to Denmark in September. She wrote, "Now I feel that life is good, different, because I am free again gone." Lawrence explained to Curt on July 10 that Catherine wanted to escape from herself, but "to also escape from Murray, which complicates things." Settle down—and be alone.” Lawrence did that easily: he was writing a book. Jandir went to them about the first week of July. On July 1, 1916, the British army launched a devastating attack on the Somme, perhaps the most violent action of war yet, and Goodyear's most urgent desire was to get there as soon as possible.On a visit to Zeller, Lawrence was appalled by his relaxed nihilism, and Goodyear, bored with his work in the Royal Meteorological Service and obsessed with going to the front, simply laughed off Lawrence's suspicions.The only recourse is to ask for a mission; he won't be coming back, but what does that matter?He told Catherine's "husband" that life was nothing but a dull affair. Murray liked Goodyear very much and, like everyone else, had great hopes for his future. The massacre on the Somme had just begun, and Murray was naturally depressed to hear him speak in this tone again. Letters written by Catherine some weeks later recalled this visit with still sadness, and it was evident that all three in the cottage felt the profound uneasiness which had gripped them. Meanwhile, as part of her escape plan, Catherine had arranged to visit Lady Autrin Morel's Jiaxington, a haven of wartime art and tranquility.She went to London on the 8th of July, and Curter met her at Paddington, and after a few days at St. John's Wood Campbells, she went to Gazington.Murray had received a letter from her in which she expressed how unhappy she had been to leave him.Her secret friend Curt understands that she is "leaving" Murray and talks about it with Gertler, who expects her to return soon. The Morels, Lady Ottering and her husband, Liberal MP Philip Morel, used to live in Befort Street, which belonged to Bloomsbury—but they never— Nor did he want to be part of the "Bloomsbury Group," with whom the two had some personal friendship but, like Catherine and Murray, mere spectators of the Bloomsbury phenomenon. The Elizabethan manor house at Justington, together with 1,500 hectares of land, is the bicycle route to Oxford University, not only used by students, but also by Lady Ottering herself.The Morells bought it before the war but did not take ownership until 1915, in doing so to make it a home for artists as well as pacifists, including Lady Ottering's former lover Bertrand Russell, who dodged the war. place. By 1916, there were conscientious objectors, nominally farm hands, housed in various lodges here, including Clive Bell, Virginia Woolf's brother-in-law, a veritable cloth Bloomsbury, like Leedon Strachey, was a regular here; and Dorothy Brett, a decidedly Bloomsbury outsider, was a regular here too—in fact almost It's like living here; Mark Gertler and Carrington, the suitor and the pursued, also come and go frequently.Lawrence was terrified of Freedom, or the Battle of the Somme. From July to November 1916, the Anglo-French coalition forces launched a western attack on the German army on the Somme River in northern France, aiming to reduce the pressure of the German army on the French army in the Verdun area.The British army used tanks for the first time in this battle. —Annotation Da, who once declined a cottage because she hated Mrs. Ottering; Lan Russell was a regular; others flocked for weekends—July was joined by "Katherine Mansfield," whose relationship with the lean Middleton Murray, One can learn a thing or two only through clever questioning. Guests that weekend included Leedon Strachey and Carrington, David Garnaut, Friedgun Shoff, CF Short and JT Sheppard (who was later President of Cambridge Royal Academy, Currently working in a division of the War Department).These were signed on the register, but Strachey wrote to tell Virginia Woolf that he couldn't remember how many people came, dozing off, the footsteps of more than a dozen people and the player piano The frenetic ragtime playing woke him up: "Katherine Mansfield--if that's her real name--I've never been sure, you hear Ever heard of her? Have you ever read an article about her? In one of those poor little publications you might have seen she wrote some pretty--or very--great little Story. She is indeed an interesting character, I find it very interesting and mysterious enough. He had said something good about The Voyage and wanted to meet the author, so Strachey said he thought it could be arranged, and he really thought Virginia Woolf would find her interesting: "I'd also like to say that she has a Ugly, expressionless mask-like face--carved of wood, with brown hair and wide-set brown eyes, behind which lay a keen intellect of some vulgar fancy." Woolf's answer was Catherine Mansfield "Three I've been following my tracks for years," but she's never met Kay or read her story. Otlin also described these weekends in her memoirs, "They often flock here on Friday or Saturday, some on motorcycles, some by train."Her account shows her typical generosity far more than some of her guests recall—and also mentions more the role played by her loyal family members (while her guests wrote about their visits , it appears that servants do not exist at all). Farms provided plenty of food, but even large houses didn't have enough room to accommodate all of their guests, nor did they have modern plumbing.Justington has only one bathroom and one toilet, both upstairs, and a gardener pumps the water up, for which he spends more than an hour a day with a semi-rotary pump set against the side of the outer wall. The servants also had to clean up all those "flooded Jordans" every morning. On summer weekends, after guests crowded around the table to eat, they clamored for their bathing suits (provided by Otlin) and splashed about in the ornamental pool that was used as a swimming pool - the water was dirty, but Better than a gutter, and then they sit down, or lay around, talking endlessly. Thanks to Catherine, people get a taste of this endless chatter.An article published in "New ① Aldous Huxley (1894 ~ 1963), a British novelist and essayist, is the grandson of Thomas Huxley, the author of "Evolution". —— Annotation ① Ragtime, an early jazz music that originated from African-American music. ——Annotation ② "Voyage", Virginia Woolf's first novel. ——Annotation ① This is a wisecrack.The Jordan River is the lowest inland river in the world. It flows into the Dead Sea, and the flow of the river varies greatly.Between 56 and 1700 seconds cubic meters.The main point here is that the drainage pipes in large houses are not smooth, which can easily cause water accumulation. ——The article in Annotation Times, written by her 10 months later, is probably the most caustic description of the gossip of the time so far: 5 young people: clever Clive, David and Aldous Arguing endlessly in a large dark living room, two sitting on the floor with their knees tucked together, one curled up on the sofa, cutting a French book with a black paper knife, each extremely laid back, a halo over their heads The hostess (Otline had cream on her hair) murmured from time to time, "That's right" or "Do you really think so?" They were talking about France, though hardly about what happened at the Somme: FOURTH GENTLEMAN: But notice, all I want to say is that it seems to me that the audacity of the French seems to prove that they do believe that man is a truly rational animal.You don't object, do you?I mean - um - fuck him!Their literature is based on this, right? SECOND GENTLEMAN: In your opinion, that explains why they look to realism for inspiration, doesn't it? Fourth person: (condescendingly) Of course, absolutely, how else can you explain it? Number one: So, do "prudent" peoples, such as the Americans, believe that man is not a rational animal? Fifth person: (very bitterly) The British say that there are some things that cannot be discussed, silence, close the door. 3rd Person: (quite excitedly) But listen to me - just half a minute - don't take it too far, it's funny, now we really have a clue, and if what you're saying makes sense, then caution is the way to go The first step towards true art - right?And what do we mean by prudence?Prudence is the false shyness, the opposite of real shyness, which is the opposite of reverence, which is the virtue, which great art must possess. right? Catherine avoided it.She arrived on Thursday, July 13, obviously intending to stay a few days longer, but she had written to Lawrence and Beatrice Campbell before the weekend to make it clear that she would be going home on Monday.Whatever the reason for this sudden change, she did become the discreet wife he had described in some of his stories; Gertler told Kurt that she had left by the time he arrived at Bestington himself, and that she had expected it.Curt replied, "Your adage about couples has proven true again." They may have both been thinking of the Calco episode at the same time. The attack at the Somme—the ninety-mile hustle—was in its third week, when Catherine left the meadow pond at Justington and returned to Murray. On July 1, 20,000 British soldiers died on the battlefield in one day and one night; and in the next three months, 400,000 soldiers died under machine gun or artillery fire or died of abscesses. In the sweltering tin hut where the wounded lived; Immediately afterwards came the news of the deaths of two of Murray's young friends.People enjoying the good times of August in England would hardly believe it if the truth could have been published in the papers.Goodyear is still in training, and among his manuscripts is a poem entitled "Confessions of a Weatherman," written sometime during the year, and the following are the closing lines of that poem: But there is no time Sad, tomorrow I will turn into dust. Quietly and sweetly disintegrated, slowly and softly returned to the void world. I feel you coming quietly, and the fading twilight seems to welcome your arrival. I saw that my little poems were gradually not as "handsome" as before. Until one day I lose my sensitivity and tell me that what needs to be said has been said and there is no need to wait any longer. Let me be buried in the loess, waiting for rest and moths. Goodyear went to France in March 1917 as an officer in the Essex Regiment. On May 17, he wrote to his parents from a Canadian treatment station near Arras, telling them that a bomb had buried him in a trench a few days earlier, shattered his left leg, and sawed off his foot. he had received Joyce's "Dubliners" as he had asked for; he "felt better this morning."But the other foot was sawed off soon after, and he died on May 23, seemingly before he had read Joyce's story of people who loved and died, and the beautiful sentence at the end . War was also approaching Murray and Catherine. In Cornwall, a new draft letter was sent to Murray.In Mailer, Murray went to the recruiting center, was re-examined, and was placed in the B?2 category.Although he is short-sighted and unable to fight, he can go to a labor camp and will probably be sent to Aden to build a breakwater.A well-meaning colonel says it's too much for an Oxford student, he should be an interpreter or something, doesn't he have a friend to help?So Murray had to turn to an old friend and write to Eddie Marsh. He says he's not a coward, but he doesn't want to be hired to clean the Governor's garden in Shimla; by October 1 he has to find a job in the service of the country, can Eddie help introduce it? In August, as arranged by Marsh, Murray went to London to see if he could get a job in the Home Office (which he did not get), and Catherine remained at Maillor, uncertain of her prospects.He also went to Gaxington, where JM Keynes and JT Shepard were.Clive wrote to his wife, Vanessa, that Keynes had not tried his best to help, and that he could have been more accommodating in front of senior officials and "helped" certain friends, such as "Murray will be sent to Aden for labor." We all liked Murray and asked Maynard if he could help and he said no. Sheppard came here last weekend and immediately got him a good job in the war department for £5 a week." Murray's novel "Still Life" was finally published by Constable after many rejections, but the response to it was so lukewarm that it was not mentioned in any of Jossington's correspondence, and Catherine's He didn't say anything, only Lawrence said to Curt that it was "just a pile of rhetoric, and it's that kind of inexplicable, perverted self-distortion." Lawrence and Frieda did pay a return visit to Mailer one summer day, though reluctantly.As they went up the river in a dinghy to have a picnic, a gust of wind nearly caused them to fall into the river and drown, but there was clearly something else wrong. Murray told Otline, "He wrote me a threatening letter when he came home. It was the most violent letter I have ever received from him. Said that I have the same soul as Sir William Robertson, but I It didn't make him any wiser, or any less fond of him." General Robertson was chief of the Imperial General Staff, and Lawrence was referring to Murray's willingness to serve the War Department. ① Essex: the name of a county in southeastern England. ——Annotation ② Arras, a city in northern France. ——Annotation ③ refers to Joyce's famous article. ——Annotation ④ Aden, the capital of Yemen.At that time Yemen was a British colony. ——Annotation ⑤ JM Keynes (1883~1946), a famous British economist.His most important work is "The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money", which is considered comparable to Adam Smith's "The Wealth of Nations" and Malthus's "Principles of Population".Many of his economic thoughts had a great influence on the economic policies of Britain, the United States and other countries. ——Annotation ①The name of a publishing house in London, named after the founder Constable (1774~1827), who once operated the "Encyclopedia Britannica" as a sole proprietorship. ——Annotation Murray's book on Dostoyevsky was also published in August, and he still sent a copy to Zeller. If anyone else was treated like that, their friendship would be terminated immediately.Lawrence was just "flipping around," insinuating that Murray was burying his head in the sand like a nasty ostrich trying to discover the truth, and wiggling his ass obnoxiously.Dostoyevsky could similarly put his head between his feet and wriggle his ass in the air. He said, "You want to be alone, and so do I, and don't want to be bothered by anybody, and the world, and it all feels mean and stinks to me." As for her, "I don't know what Catherine's going to do, ’ Two days later, he said to Curt, ‘I don’t care either, I’m sick of them, really.’ Catherine followed Murray to London. He worked as an interpreter in the War Department and was due to start work in early September. Because there was no place to live, they had to separate temporarily. Catherine slept in Brett's studio near Walscote, There was only one bed; Murray went to a cheap hotel in Befort, and their furniture was temporarily put in Mailer's cabin. ① are London place names. —— Annotation ② are London place names. —— Annotation Gower and Justinton I sent my precious book back to Jiaxington, and I spent some time reading it, as usual, I think letters are the only satisfactory literary form, they can tell the facts so amazingly, can't they? By the end of the read I felt as though I had lived among those people for years, but thank goodness I wasn't. — Strachey to Mrs. Ottoline Morel October 31, 1916 Whatever had happened in Cornwall could not change Catherine's devotion to the Lawrence she believed to be--as she confirmed a few days after her return to London. One evening she went with Curt and Gertler to the Café Royal in Piccadilly Circus, what Lawrence contemptuously called "the Outside," a place frequented then by bohemians and writers, and William ?奥彭①的一幅画曾传达过其中喧闹花哨的气氛：狭长的大理石桌子，绿松石柱子，乔治?莫尔②，奥古塔斯?约翰①和妮娜?汉姆尼特②的脸庞出现在顾客中。同凯瑟琳他们坐在同一张桌旁的几个人拿着一本劳伦斯的新书《阿摩斯》，正在讥笑其中的诗歌，凯瑟琳按捺不住，彬彬有礼地要了这本书，站起身，拿着书走出了咖啡馆，柯特和格特勒跟随其后。 这事柯特讲给了劳伦斯听，就成为《恋爱中的妇女》里“戈珍在庞巴杜咖啡馆”这一情节。人们一直以为那晚上讥笑的人是菲利普?黑塞尔丁和迈克尔?阿伦——他们被认为是小说中角色的原型，但事实上当时两人都不在常第二天，格特勒和当时不在场的奥尔德斯?赫胥黎都写信告诉了奥特琳实际上的情景，两人的叙述都暴露出自由英格兰的种族主义态度。格特勒说他和柯特以及凯瑟琳（一个波兰犹太人，一个乌克兰犹太人以及一个殖民地人）发现咖啡馆已经客满，只好坐到一张已由一个黑人占住的桌子旁去，“也许是印度人——但属于瘦弱型”，他们几乎没注意他。过了一会儿，“一个白鲱鱼一样瘦长的女人，火红色的头发高高盘在头发上”来同他坐在一起，接着又来了一个黑人。 我们立刻开始讨厌这三个人，让我们大吃一惊的是他们居然谈起“学问”来——他们是黑人大学生——用的是字斟句酌的“标准”英语，他们谈论陀斯妥耶夫斯基、俄国、《新时代》，现代派味十足，这已让我们足够恼火，但是想象一下这时我们的惊骇和痛恨吧！那个头顶干牛粪的红头发拿出一本劳伦斯的诗集，开始同另一人谈起劳伦斯来，用的是那种仔细挑选的长字眼。 我们一直对他们耿耿于怀，现在知道该采取果断措施了。 我们坐在那儿想着，突然凯瑟琳朝他们甜蜜地一笑：①威廉?奥彭（1878～1931），英国画家，尤以肖像画著称。 ——译注②乔治?莫尔（1852～1933），爱尔兰小说家、诗人、批评家。 ——译注①奥古塔斯?约翰（1878～1961），英国油画家、壁画家、版画家。他的肖像画以有力地深刻表现当代政界及艺术界杰出人物的性格见长。 ——译注②妮娜?汉姆尼特，生平不详，英国画家。 ——译注“让我看看那本书好吗？”“当然可以”，他们全都笑咪咪地说——笑得比她还更甜。想想他们的惊骇和不知所措吧：凯瑟琳一言不发地站起身来，拿着书，我们泰然自若地跟着她——若无其事地走出了咖啡馆！ ! ! 凯瑟琳从没有喜欢过妓女，或那些她认为像妓女一样的人。 奥特琳可能同时收到赫胥黎的来信。赫胥黎当时21岁，即将加入佳星顿“体力劳动者”的行列。凑巧事后的第二天早晨他遇见了“黑人大学生”中的一位，听了他的叙述，知道奥特琳夫人认识他——他就是那位印度法学学生HS苏哈罗迪——立刻把消息告诉她。 赫胥黎写道，“伦敦到处都是这些牛津的印度人，这些长着鬼脸的怪孩子无处不在，迈着大脚板到处跑，在公共汽车上，地铁车站，公共厕所和餐馆里随便亲昵地拉扯别人的袖子，你躲都躲不开他们。..”赫胥黎接着说苏哈罗迪认出了格特勒（曾在佳星顿见过），但说不出“另一个男人和一个女人”的名字。苏哈罗迪说，书一到她手中，那三个人就一阵风似地走了，乘出租车消失得无影无踪。 奥特琳夫人当然非常感兴趣，告诉了赫胥黎她从格特勒那儿听说的事情，赫胥黎又写了一封信探听更多的消息；这封信送到了凯瑟琳那儿，她并没有觉得好笑，回答说：“我对苏哈罗迪不大了解，他是不是去年冬天在劳伦斯那儿的一个印度学生？无论如何，赫胥黎的那封拖拖拉拉的信并没有让我觉得非告诉他不可..。” 同时，柯特则去上特雷格森讲述了一番；劳伦斯写道，“你的陀斯妥耶夫斯基之夜让我的心都抽紧了，我吓坏了，当我想到伦敦，皇家咖啡馆——你确实在那儿，还有凯瑟琳，恐惧压倒了我..真让人害怕。”没有一字对“戈珍在庞巴杜咖啡馆”表示感激——也没有写信给她，然而写书时却照搬了上去。 皇家咖啡馆插曲过后不久，弗丽达来伦敦住了几天，她不想见凯瑟琳，但是见了柯特和格特勒，告诉他们有关默里夫妇的事情（包括默里的“欺骗”，“吝啬”，还说到凯瑟琳把他扔在梅勒，去对柯特倾诉衷肠）。第二天弗丽达从汉姆斯特写信给柯特，“我知道她什么都不会承认，但他们具有那么多优点，我们有必要帮助他们克服不诚实的缺点。”不管说了些什么，不管是否真实，这件事使柯特在接下来的两年中同默里夫妇断绝了一切关系。 默里夫妇显然也知道弗丽达说了些什么，但保持沉默，不再写信解释。 劳伦斯告诉柯特（11月7日）“我同默里夫妇一刀两断了——谢天谢地。” 弗丽达则说“事实上我们的关系算完了，但是如果此时她来，我还是会好好待她，她天生具有套近乎的才能，很会亲热人，但长此以往总没有好处。” 这次过了两年以后他们才相见。 凯瑟琳又去佳星顿呆了一个星期，同卡林顿合住一间房，后者兴奋地写信告诉格特勒，“现在我有那本讲粉红色头发的妓女的书了，凯瑟琳把它给了我！道地的陀斯妥耶夫斯基题材”。同一封信还告知她和默里夫妇计划同布雷特一起合租下高尔街JM凯因斯的房子，这样他们就全部搬进了布卢姆斯伯里，在接下来的9个月里，布雷特成为凯因斯的二房东，其他人则是房客，租金每季度27镑10先令，4人分担。默里夫妇住在一楼，靠近前门和电话，布雷特住隔壁，卡林顿住在顶楼，凯因斯的管家查普曼小姐留了下来，住在地下室。 在高尔街的房子腾出来以前，默里夫妇住在布雷特的工作室里，默里有生以来第一次必须使自己适应有规律的生活，适应他在军事情报部的工作。 谢泼德担保说他精通德语，这意味着他必须把每一分钟空余时间都花在死记硬背这门语言上，才能对负责的上校隐瞒自己此方面的不足，结果他发现自己变成了一台机器。“我成为一个机器人了，我不顾一切地拚命工作，心智处于僵化状态，生活，或者说我认为的那种生活已经停止了。” 实际上当他写下这些话时，忘了自己在莫瑞尔夫人那儿找到的安慰：我有时会奇怪地怀疑自己爱上了你，我不知道，很难表达我的感觉，我对人们的感情一般很少超过觉得有趣或害怕，但是当我想形容自己对你的感情时——我开始怀疑自己爱上了你。 就这样，出生于贫民区的杰克?默里开始了一种感情的自我怀疑，其中掺杂着曾经身为无产阶级一员的缺乏自信，同他和莫瑞尔夫人对战争和艺术的态度纠缠在一起。像她一样，他现在认为战争是将人类变为机器过程的一部分——他很快就忘记了老百姓们，包括自己以抄写为生的父亲在内一直是如何生活的——这两人现在开始一来一去地写信讨论“另一种生活”摈弃艺术，“仅仅是巨大的机器而已”。另一方面，奥特琳得知伯蒂?罗素去了高尔街，很得人欢心；默里11月2日写信说，“我们非常喜欢他，同他谈话是我们这阴沉可怕生活中唯一的乐趣。”如果默里爱上了奥特琳，但这也并不意味着不再把凯瑟琳放在心上。 到了12月，这种无伤大雅的小邪恋情”已成为布卢姆斯伯里的闲谈话题。克莱夫从佳星顿写信告诉他妻子“奥特琳试图同默里恋爱，她给他写信，他把她的信随手乱放。”布卢姆斯伯里好打听闲事的风气是它忽视道德的一个方面。 高尔街3号开始被称为“方舟”①，凯因斯和谢泼德一搬出去，其他的“动物”就成双成对地搬了进来；布雷特把她戴着助听器所能听到的一切都报告给莫瑞尔夫人。10月2日，她从“方舟”给奥特琳写信说，凯瑟琳住得非常舒服，卡林顿也一样，但是现在卡林顿不喜欢凯瑟琳了，怀疑她两面三刀；而且她在“方舟”的窝做得太快，太舒适了。布雷特想津津有味地观看发生的一切。 此时，布雷特每天都给奥特琳写信，也许可以说爱上了她，奥本人则为布雷特感到遗憾——她作为侯爵的女儿从小受的教养太糟了。的确，布雷特受到朋友的信赖，奥不久就把默里写的一封信寄给她，其中讲到他在“方舟”感到不幸福，由此“更确信自己爱上了你”。 布雷特回信说这使她非常感兴趣，也明白了自己有的一种奇怪的感觉，但是“看在老天的份上，同默里打交道要注意些！！一定要当心，默里会向你求爱，我不完全相信他们俩..”。布雷特说她能够隐约见到目前默里生活一片黑暗，但是为什么，为什么要让人们背离自己的生活，去过别人的生活，尤其是像默里这样一种孤僻、好做梦的人的生活呢？ 布雷特又说卡林顿“对凯瑟琳改变了看法”，她本人并不认为凯是虚伪的人：①即古希腊神话中拯救人类的诺亚方舟。——译注我可以肯定她不会两面三刀，只不过喜欢说刻薄话而已——为什么不呢！哪怕是对自己过去的朋友。你圣诞节后必须到伦敦来住一段时间，凯瑟琳和我都非常希望你来同我们一起过过这种简单的日子，放下你公爵夫人的架子——我们有这么多事要做——噢，有这么多话要说。 如果奥特琳真的去了伦敦，就一定会试图同伯蒂?罗素会面。他去找过凯瑟琳，但她不在家。到了10月末，布雷特告诉奥特琳发生了一些奇怪的事情，她不愿意写信提及，但是又不能对奥隐瞒。“李敦老家伙去拜访了'方舟'，很遗憾，没有谁比凯瑟琳走得更远！！伯蒂、李敦等人都像魔术一样消失了——我的小小助听器连地板上的开裂声都听得见。” 正在这时，奥特琳收到凯瑟琳写来的一封措辞尴尬的信，这是她几个星期来所写的第一封，说到想解释一下为什么这么久杳无音讯，只因为自己一直心情不好，心神恍惚，糟糕的是她不能鼓起勇气来解释，多么令人难解呀。 奥特琳夫人感到非常迷惑，一定想到这也许与默里的来信有关。因此这封信也寄回了“方舟”，布雷特的来信说：“非常有趣，我想我能替你解答。” 可怜的凯瑟琳确实处在地狱中。 我想她爱上谁了，有人似黎明出现在她的地平线上，就像她一生中常常发生的那样——野性的呼唤总在她身上，像任何其他野性动物一样，这种呼唤来到时，她不能抵抗。我相信可怜的凯瑟琳被撕成了两半——为那个同她一起生活的羞怯、温柔、依恋她的男人，以及为自己对自由狂热向往的遗憾——新生活，新面孔，一会儿在此，一会儿在彼，了不起的大千世界——如果她离去了，就等于在默里心中插下一把尖刀，失去宝贵的朋友——我相信这就是她的一个地狱——我告诉过你我很想对她说我理解她，但现在还不能，也许永远不能。 显然，布雷特还不知道这个男人是谁，否则她就不大会写信给奥特琳这样说了，因为这人就是伯特兰?罗素。奥特琳也没有想到这个人就是她过去的情人。她知道罗素在感情上已渐渐对她疏远，但却不知道转向谁，直到几个月后他自己作了解释。事实上，他最近结识了康斯坦斯?梅尔森夫人——女演员柯尔特?奥尼尔，嫁给了迈尔斯?梅尔森——两人已经深深地陷入狂热的激情之中，凯瑟琳当然不知道。 每个人都知道真实对伯特兰?罗素，对布卢姆斯伯里，对那些在佳星顿安享生活的人都极其重要，也包括凯瑟琳本人，她身为作家的一个目的就是探求真实。 10天以后，罗素同默里夫妇一起吃饭，告诉奥特琳说他“现在非常喜欢”凯瑟琳，默里似乎不高兴，因为他“为战争工作”，而罗素试图让他改变一下。接着，罗素请了凯瑟琳一起吃饭。在罗素的文件中留有一封她的信，接受他23日吃饭的邀请，这是他保留下来的她接连写的12封信中的第一封——所有的信都没有抬头、称呼，大部分都没注明日期，语气也越来越亲密，虽然他俩并未真正亲密过。罗素1949年又加上了一段话，声明并没有“恋情”，也不想有。那次共同进餐后，她写道：是的，这是一个美妙的夜晚，整夜我都感到它给我带来的激动，甚至入睡后我还梦见同你坐在一张桌旁，谈话，吸烟，咖啡馆所有的镜子都是窗户，从中可以看见长长的碧波在无声地闪烁荡漾，好像我们远在海上。 这时，罗素正好告诉奥特琳自己渐渐开始非常想她：不是激情，因为战争已将其消耗殆尽，而是渴望有人相伴。他曾经处于战争的“绝对深渊”。 他一直在同凯瑟琳见面，也喜欢她——她谈到自己死去的弟弟。他接着用一种欢快的孩子般的口气说自己同康斯坦斯?梅尔森很亲密，但她不适合严肃的心情，使他永远永远靠近奥特琳的是宗教信仰——其他任何人都让他伤心，因为缺少尊重。 三个女人和一场战争，宗教和一个情妇，还有尊重（“尊重”是佳星顿用的字眼）通通写在一段话里。一两天以后罗素告诉奥特琳他想真正了解凯瑟琳，因为她从心智上让他感兴趣。她头脑很不简单，但他认为她没有什么感情。 用同样的话对康斯坦斯?梅尔森描述了一番以后，他写信给凯瑟琳，而她不知道还会有多少旁人偷听，回信说：我刚刚重读了你的信，现在脑袋因一种甜蜜的激动而微微作痛，你明白我的意思吗？..知道我们还有最好的事可做，我们将成为共事的同志，是多么无比的欢乐..在这小小一段时间里，你已给了我这么多——超过了我所给予你的，不过，我对此仍感到不满足。但目前我的工作来源于这么一个事实，即你确实代表生活。 星期四再见，我不再读你的信了，太让我激动不安了，但是谢谢你——因此谢谢你。 她第二封信结尾时说：“啊，我们并不是无缘无故相识的，我们将做一番事业——一番事业。”此时，布雷特告诉奥特琳“伯蒂真该死，他今早匆匆跑来看凯瑟琳，想都没想到来看一下我——你可以告诉他我准备教训他一下！！” 凯瑟琳信任罗素，对他吐露自己的心思，讲到自己创作的构思，以及希望写出什么作品；谈到她常有的失望情绪，似乎万念俱灰；但是生活可以重新美好起来，她可以走进鲜花，绿叶，鲜果和青草中——“让自己在这些东西中得到清新的感觉，寻求它们，探索它们，然后离开它们——等骚动平息后再来把它们写下来。” 也许这种关系，比1916年那个闹哄哄的秋天发生的任何事情对她都更为重要。 “方舟”住人后不久，埃达?贝克乘坐部队运输船回到英格兰，带着自己孤独的父亲。她发现凯瑟琳同自己的新朋友多萝西?布雷特和“一个名叫卡林顿的妇女”一起住在高尔街，房子里气氛不大对头，她意识到自己不可能也搬进去，因此把父亲安置在旅馆后，就去同一位在缅甸认识的老朋友住在一起，后者住在齐斯维克①。就这样圣诞节前她加入了成千上万受过教育的①伦敦地名。——译注英国妇女行列，用双手操作机器，身穿工作服，头上戴着棉布帽子。经过一段时间训练，她开始在普特尼②的一家飞机制造厂做机械师，凯瑟琳替她在汉姆斯特找了一个住所，是一个上了前线的人空出来的。 在11月的第一个星期，李敦?斯特雷奇带凯瑟琳去霍加斯宅第会见《远航》的作者，他告诉奥特琳“我对住在里齐蒙德③的维吉尼亚抱着乐观态度，希望这个星期他们俩能聚在一起——虽然天知道会怎样。” 现在问题是邀请谁来佳星顿过圣诞节？罗素和斯特雷奇会去，还有默里夫妇和布雷特，奥尔德斯?赫胥黎巳在那儿住着了，还有克莱夫?贝尔。但是奥特琳夫人却为她的比利时避难者，赫胥黎爱上了的玛丽亚?尼斯感到为难，另一个是卡林顿，她近来因为马克?格特勒——或李敦?斯特雷奇而有些行为古怪。 玛丽亚只有18岁，过去有段时间奥特琳一直像母亲一样关怀她，自从逃离父母亲后，她一直像小鸟似的自在快活。她开始住在纽恩汉①，但自己从那儿搬了出来，不久就加入了“方舟”的人群中。布雷特10月18日告诉奥特琳“玛丽亚今天第一次开始工作，她同一位俄国将军关系比较好，我让她住在'方舟'，因为这样我们就能知道她晚上做些什么，是否经常出去。”菲利普?莫瑞尔不想让她回来过圣诞节，因为她向他调情。但布雷特说这太过分了，必须要他让步，“否则就意味着有两个人在伦敦过一个枯燥乏味的圣诞节——或者奥尔德斯把这儿搅成一团糟，而玛丽亚独自一人在伦敦把眼睛哭肿——告诉他不要因为一个傻姑娘犯傻而做得太过分。” 奥特琳也不打算请卡林顿，她近来开始跟卡林顿过不去，断定她骗人，因为她不肯同格特勒睡觉，甚至连菲利普同她绕着池塘散步，对她说教了一顿后，她也不肯。然而圣诞节前一星期，布雷特达到了目的。 请不要认为我不喜欢菲利普，我很喜欢他，虽然我有时觉得他弄得你很为难，但你总能占上风，最后才让菲利普做出好的正确的决定，因为如果全由菲利普一人做主的话，他会让我们大家都去给猪梳毛，算牛奶帐单，最后去坐在蛋上孵小鸡，我们的生活会成为真正的地狱！ ! !卡林顿已收到你的邀请，我希望她能来。就这样布雷特帮助挑选人参加这次战争中期的圣诞节聚会——处于一种上气不接下气的紧张气氛中的聚会，混杂着爱情的狂热和战争的绝望，那其实在好几处与正在兴起的文学有关。她无意中还帮助聚集了另一次戏中戏的参加演出者。那年的圣诞节是星期一，布雷特心情激动，前一个星期三就带着礼物来了，正好帮忙用花环和灯笼装饰房子，但是默里夫妇什么时候来得由默里在办公室那压倒一切的工作来决定。他星期六来的，没带任何礼物；“捣蛋鬼”（布雷特和奥特琳对卡林顿的称呼）也是这时到的，可以度过整个星期天，同“李敦爷爷”散步，谈论田地和壕沟，去村里的教堂做晚祷，因为牛津大主教要讲道，还要来吃饭。因此卡林顿就能在节礼日给在法国的哥哥写信，一一列举聚会的人：尊敬的伯特兰?罗素；玛丽亚?尼斯，一位名声不怎么样，无足可取的比利时女孩；高尔街的凯瑟琳?曼斯菲尔德和她忧郁的丈夫；李敦；布雷特；②伦敦近郊。 ——译注③伦敦近郊有名的风景区。 ——译注①伦敦地名。 ——译注贝利尔学院①的奥尔德斯?赫胥黎（同玛丽亚?尼斯相恋），一位瘦长独眼的年轻人，会写诗，精通贝利尔学院的男孩都知道的一切文学作品；你也许还记得的那位小姐；小姑娘朱莉安，她的父母亲（我们的男女主人），就是这些人。 “小姐”就是朱莉安?莫瑞尔的瑞士家庭教师，朱丽特?贝洛特——朱利安?赫胥黎①的未婚妻，正如玛丽亚?尼斯是奥尔德斯的未婚妻。 戈尔主教是奥特琳夫人的好朋友，星期天晚上罗素、斯特雷奇和克莱夫?贝尔都在座，桌上的谈话转向威尔逊总统前一个星期答应为和平谈判居中调解，主教因为希望胜利而受到拒服兵役者的攻击。“捣蛋鬼”私下笑着说主教坚持自己的主张，拒绝妥协，表现得聪明理智，毫不傲慢自大。 后来主教走了。在起居室里，克莱夫?贝尔说同英国人相比，德国民族受过更好的教育，更易接受外界事物，对艺术的欣赏占了主导地位。这使贝尔受到所有人的攻击，除了斯特雷奇之外，而房间里那位写过一本关于德国人的书的妇女②保持相当的沉默。有关德国人的争论变得热烈起来，“捣蛋鬼”说默里“一有机会就为民主争论一番，不管是否与此话题有关。” 同时，凯瑟琳开始设想一场戏让大家表演。默里拿了一些庄园的信笺，写了两封信代替他没有带来的礼物。 第一封信给奥特琳：“明天我将是婚礼上唯一没穿礼服的人：深深仰慕、真心热爱你的人竟然没有礼物给你..”他曾想撒谎说订购了一本书，但尚未拿到，但是不，他不想玩弄这种小小的欺骗。他认为他们的友谊——“我们的爱情——我不会用另一个字眼来称呼它”——绝不会消亡，一年来这一点已得到了证实，没有什么礼物能为他表达这些，语言当然也不能表达——但这是他能给予的最好的东西了。 另一封信是给布雷特的：“这是我的圣诞礼物——只有我现在正在写的东西——没有别的了。只是想说你是个宝贝，我希望能够永远和你在同一所房子里共度圣诞节——如果你吻我，或者让我吻你的话。” 凯瑟琳当然从未见过默里的这些信，但她完全了解写信的原因，称之为他“虚假的性格”，她在他的一篇散文中看到了这一点，就此写了一封信给他：“我觉得你将要暴露你自己，将要颤抖..那是什么呢？是希望折磨自己，或可怜自己，或是什么更为微妙的东西？我只知道这至关重要，因为这是你自我毁灭的方式。” 圣诞节这一天，其他人在庄园内聊天，散步，以便增加食欲，她写着那场戏。后来“李敦爷爷”给大家念了一篇自己写的关于阿诺德博士①的文章，这是后来使他一举成名的书中②的一个章节，满是对在座的人开的玩笑，读到一段字句抑扬顿挫的话，结尾是这样的：“尊敬的柏德勒先生说'公学是罪恶的中心和温床'”，起居室内一片吃吃暗笑声。 ①牛津大学学院之一。 —— Annotation ①朱利安?赫胥黎（1887～1975），英国作家，奥尔德斯?赫胥黎的哥哥。——译注②即凯瑟琳?曼斯菲尔德。她曾写过名为《在德国公寓里》的短篇小说集，于1911年出版。——译注①阿诺德（1795～1842），英国教育家。曾任拉格比公学校长，对英国的公学教育有极大的影响。——译注②即斯特雷奇1918年出版的《维多利亚时代杰出人物》一书。——译注最后，到了节礼日的夜晚，凯瑟琳写的戏上演了，卡林顿告诉她哥哥说那是“一种易卜生式的俄国戏，了不起的机智，很好。”而奥尔德斯?赫胥黎则说“我们表演了一出凯瑟琳创作的戏，即席表演，是一次巨大的成功。 默里扮一个陀斯妥耶夫斯基式的角色，李敦则扮一个极其邪恶的老祖父。 " 第二天，大部分客人都乘火车消失在伦敦的浓雾中，但与此同时，邮局给奥特琳送来了一个陀斯妥耶夫斯基式的包裹，给奥特琳夫人带来了惊恐；如果早到几天的话，那个圣诞节就会是完全另一个样子。劳伦斯（根据她的要求——她已听到了一些传闻）把自己在康沃尔写的小说的手稿寄给她①，当她读了以后，感到自己的脸都吓白了。 她读到自己被安上了各种各样的名称，从性欲狂的“老巫婆”直到衣着邋遢的“堕落的同性恋者”；在一个情景中甚至描写她向“庄重的弗丽达”求爱。房子、花园以及住在里面的人都描写得细致入微，整个小说写出来似乎就是为了侮辱她，而她从惊恐中唯一能够找到的安慰是“所有最糟糕的部分都是弗丽达的笔迹”。 显然，她认为实际上是弗丽达写了那些部分，也许是这样的（在那小屋里弗丽达闲着没有事干）；或者此手稿只是她帮着整理的多余的一份，她有时也帮着抄写一些。 奥特琳马上就写信给罗素和凯瑟琳告知此事，凯瑟琳说她希望能够说服劳伦斯不要发表此书，又说“我认为离群索居使他心中产生一种疯狂”。后来，当她从布雷特那儿了解了更多情况，但自己仍未读过此书时，说道：毫无疑问，离开大家，劳伦斯发疯了，同大家在一起时，他能感染大家的热情和智慧，他是亲爱的宝贝，常常很了不起，但离开大家，他就变得冷漠，阴郁，孤独，当然弗丽达是起因。他已经选择了弗丽达，同真正的人在一起时，他知道这是一种致命的选择，但是同她独处时，他那该死的固执却竭力企图证实自己选择的正确；甚至不惜用最卑鄙的手段。 她劝奥特琳嘲笑劳伦斯，而不让他知道自己多么伤心。奥的丈夫和克莱夫?贝尔都给了她同样的劝告，但没起作用。贝尔告诉他妻子，“奥特琳退还了劳伦斯的手稿，还回了一封极其愚蠢的信。尽管我给了她一些很好的建议，菲利普也曾竭力阻止她不要犯傻。我听到她读的每一行都暴露出一个伤口，劳伦斯真要得意了。” 菲利普?莫瑞尔曾冒着断送自己政治生涯的危险在下议院询问过有关查禁的问题；奥特琳曾尽力筹款帮助劳伦斯同弗丽达团聚，而上述的事件则发生在仅一年之后。莫瑞尔立刻写信给劳伦斯的代理人JB平克，警告说如果此书照原样发表，将会被指控为诽谤。据奥特琳回忆，书没有照原样发表，“最糟的部分”作了修改。但可以证实这一点的稿件却没有保留下来。 还没有人意识到杰若德和戈珍是指默里和凯瑟琳，而那个“有学问的50岁的干瘦勋爵”取名乔舒亚?梅尔森，则表明劳伦斯听说了罗素同康斯坦斯?梅尔森的恋情，再根据此事作了窜改（1917年或稍后）。 ①即劳伦斯于1920年正式出版的长篇小说。据专家们考证，小说中的“布雷多利府郾便是以莫瑞尔的家为原型描绘的，女主人公之一赫米恩?罗迪斯也有奥特琳的影子。奥特琳为此而与劳伦斯断绝往来达10年之久。——译注从佳星顿回城后，默里和凯瑟琳准备离开“方舟”，没有出现过争吵。 但是凯瑟琳自从离开法国后，除了圣诞节那个模拟喜剧外，没创作过新作品，现在感到急需找个能写作的处所，而凯因斯的房子则不是这样的地方。 年初她去找过房地产商，没有什么结果，只发现战争开始影响到老百姓的生活，租金增加了；寓所更难找，房地产商要求签订三年的租约，她觉得自己不能再经受那种折磨，“那些我们租下来又退回的所有房子，所有寓所，所有的房间”。因此，她从年初就开始寻找一间工作室，默里也要找几间房，以便写作。人们谣传曼斯菲尔德和默里分手了，事实根本不是这样。然而，她此时仍在进行同罗素的心智和感情上的小小冒险。 她给罗素的信与她任何别的信大不相同，它们像漂浮过月亮的云彩——存在着，但不能触及，也不能同其他物质相比，不能否认其中有着热情，有尊敬，也有魅力。布雷特的“野性的呼唤”似乎不是合适的词，为了找出更恰当的词，只有当他俩在餐桌旁谈话时去坐在他们身边——也许彼此有些误会对方的意图。罗素是否知道凯瑟琳手上的戒指是弗丽达婚姻破裂的象征呢？他们谈了很多“真实”。 新年的第一个星期，凯瑟琳告诉罗素他的信有多么重要的意义：“感到我俩将坦诚相见，彼此没有保留——这将是一种很大的冒险，心情难以平静。”几天以后她告诉他自己在一部电影“身着散步服装的外景”中表演；后来在一间空旷的大摄影棚里，她必须身着制片人称作“奇异的晚礼服”行走，她遇上了这么多荒唐事。她刚刚被一个狡诈的波兰人骗去了一所公寓，“整个事件就像一部道地的陀斯妥耶夫斯基小说。” 在这期间，有天晚上她和默里去霍加斯宅第同吴尔夫