Chapter 8 -2

For many British families, telegrams reporting deaths were more frequent and disconcerting at this time of year 1915, and the lives of the common people were full of eccentric events with a curious irony.Curious people still went to the station to watch the unloading of the wounded from trains, and Catherine herself had often indulged in it the previous autumn. Now, while she is still able to travel across the Channel at will, England has begun to experience the taste of war that France and Belgium have already tasted. In February, Lawrence's maid at Graham ran into the room in a panic, "Oh, ma'am, my poor brother was killed in the field." William Orton survived the Battle of the Dardanelles ① , but Rupert Brooke and Henri Gautier-Burshaka were killed in combat in May and June respectively.The Germans sank the Lusitania, gassed them, the French lost thousands, and young people went home for holidays and hardly knew how to describe what they had seen.

Leslie Beecham joined an officer training course with 200 other young men - "everyone seemed to be on a varsity team except me" - and lived at Bailey, Oxford, throughout March In his luxurious house at Orr College, he was unaware of the absurdity of his new life.At home there were always flowers in the house, and in England in April, at the quarters, he cursed the profanity of the procession, trampling primroses, violets, and snowdrops underfoot. In June he was stationed near Aldershot, with an orderly at his beck and call (bringing him water every morning, dressing him in uniform, serving him breakfast), and learning how to throw a ball with the primitive catapult. A grenade that explodes on touch.

Lawrence went back to London.Through a brief philosophical association with Bertrand Russell, he decided to establish his Reinerin at Hampstead, with whom he could teach and with Murray a journal. Now that the world has come of age, those who really care will subscribe to newspapers and attend lectures.To be near him, but not too close, the Murrays took a house (with servants) at 5 Acacia Road, St. Murray already had a regular job as a French book reviewer for the Literary Supplement.The Gordon Campbells and the Trowells also live nearby. They had just settled down, and Leslie Beecham also came to London for a six-day course of study (he told his parents "these bombs are amazingly lethal and difficult to maneuver, and now I have to teach the whole battalion officers and men"), So the younger brother had the opportunity to see his sister and the weird guy who lived with her. He wrote home and said some good things about Murray: In the joint landing campaign, there were two major landing campaigns, but both failed. ——Annotation ①The name of the British passenger ship, which was sunk by a German submarine off the coast of Ireland on May 7, 1915, resulting in a tragedy of 1,100 deaths. ——Annotation ②British place names. —Annotation I spent a very comfortable evening in Catherine's lovely cottage on Acacia Road--Jack Murray was a good-natured man, he and Kath got on very well--in fact I was glad to see everything It's all going well - they pay £52 a year in rent and the house is very comfortable and clean - cheap, don't you think?

It was late August, and soon everything was ready for publication, and the six issues of the fortnightly magazine sold for 2s. 6d.Lawrence told a friend that he would write "demonstrations"; Murray would give "their views on the liberty of the individual mind," and Catherine would write "little satires." This was definitely not their current situation, although that was all Lawrence saw.When the younger brother was on Acacia Road, he sat with Catherine under the pear tree in the back garden, and fell into fear and homesickness. The two had been playing the game "Do you remember?"—"Do you remember Sit on the pink bench in the garden?" "I'll never forget that pink bench.. where is it now?

Do you think we can sit in heaven if we get into it? " With that in mind, she wrote "The Wind Rises," the first nostalgic tale of her youth set in Wellington, with a sense of mystery created by the strange time shift and dream shift at the end.Bertrand Russell and Lydon Strachey, among others, took note of this story and "The Little Tutor" in the journal.Leslie Beecham looked a lot like his sister—someone mistook him for her at a masquerade ball in Wellington—and he was clearly a playboy. When he returned to Wellington in 1912, he wore shoe covers and carried a cane, seemingly unaware that it was out of place there.It was recalled (without malice) much later that he was like "what one would call a sissy man today."Murray apparently didn't say a word about him, and his father said in My Past and Remembrance, "I thought he would have chosen a literary career, but following my wishes he chose a trade, an apprenticeship in a firm. "

While stationed at Pournemouth, Leslie happened to share a dormitory with the Georgian poet Edward Shanks, who always remembered him as a bright, jovial lad with no particular interests.He liked Leslie very much, and Leslie told him a lot about the Wellington family, but never about Catherine, though he later said he knew Olega.Shanks was surprised after the war to discover that his friend was Catherine Mansfield's brother, and guessed that Leslie did not want to take the liberty of talking about his sister's way of life with a relative stranger. At 6 o'clock in the morning on September 22, Leslie happily left for France as a bombing instructor in the South Lancashire Army, with a note from his sister scrawled on it: "Hurrying to hug you. "For two weeks he could not write. On October 4th—a time when “summer picnics” were scarce—he asked Aunt Bell to send him some trench boots, some dried fruit and dried trout, and he wrote Catherine that day.

Three days later, at a place near Amendières, he was showing soldiers how to throw a hand-grenade, and the one he used happened to fail, and it exploded in his hand, killing a sergeant at the same time, before he died. Keep saying "God forgive what I've done" and "Hold my head up, Katie, I can't breathe". On October 11, Murray wrote this diary: ① Portnemouth, a port city in southern England. ——Annotation ②Edward Shanks (1892～1953), British poet. ——Annotation ③South Lancashire, the name of the county in the southwestern part of England. ——Annotation ④ Amendiye, a place name in France. ——Annotation Three minutes ago Teague got a telegram saying her brother was dead...I still can't believe it, and neither can she.This is the scariest thing, she didn't cry, but she just turned pale and said, "I don't believe it, he's not going to die." Now she went to Kee's place to inquire about the news, and she wanted to know what day the 7th was.She also got a letter from him the day before saying he felt like a 7 year old - she bought their team badge the other day and came back to wear it, I don't know what to do now, I feel terrible about the prospect: she thinks so much of him , that last letter—it seemed that there was another party that evening on Acacia Road, and Curt was there, and Catherine wore the brightly colored Russian peasant dress he had given her.The Campbells were late, but no one told them anything, and Beatrice thought she was unusually chatty and cheerful.But a few days later, when she asked about the younger brother, Catherine gave her "a strange wild look," before saying, "Blown to pieces!" His hat was delivered to her later.

This sad event changed Catherine's life, and her suffering completely changed the balance between her cynicism and other aspects, thus releasing her creative energy. It's the tone: "You know I can never be Jack's lover again, you got me, you're in my heart and in my body." She talks about "doing something for us both," when ( 29 October), Murray knew she could no longer live on Acacia Road, and a fortnight later they left for France—that was the war—so that Catherine could write, write about New Zealand. In the same month, Lawrence also happened to be hit hard. On October 28 he gave the Murrays a copy of his new novel, and two days before Leslie died he came to show them Robert Lind's hostile novel for the Daily News. Comment.As Murray read the reviews, he sat silent, sensing the threat looming; indeed, this was the beginning of the siege upon him, and the book was soon banned and the publisher charged.But Catherine and Murray find it hard to comfort him, they don't like it, and Catherine simply hates some of the chapters; she hates the chapter on "Women," and thinks Frieda is to blame for it.

In November, seeking relief from the charges against him that forced Lawrence to relocate as well, he suddenly became obsessed with finding a Rennerin in Florida, gathering a number of titular followers, mostly new acquaintances (among them Philip? Heseldin ③ and an Indian law student named HS Suharodi), powerful friends helped him and Frieda get passports, but the visa to the United States required a doctor’s certificate to prevent him from joining the army. In fact, he had He started to wait in line for inspection, but his self-esteem began to rebel, he rushed out, and the efforts of his friends were in vain.Such was the mingled devotion and loathing between the two couples that Murray was on his way to France, leaving Lawrence alone to mourn his failure to mourn the magazine's only three issues.

Before leaving, their new friend Dorothy Shilet ④ was in his studio near Earl Scott Road ①, also translated "Rainbow", first published in England in 1915, it is DH Lawrence's most representative novel one.The theme is to bravely explore the reality and significance of the relationship between the sexes. This action aroused the interference of public opinion and was once banned. After Lawrence's status in the British and even world literary circles was established, the book was re-published. ——Annotation ①Robert Linde (1879～1949), editor of British newspapers and periodicals, prose writer. ——Annotation ② "Daily News", a newspaper in London. ——Annotation ③Philip Hesselding (1894～1930), also known as Pat Warlock, a British composer and writer. ——Annotation ④Dorothy Brett (1891～?), British painter, friend of Catherine and Lawrence. ——There was a lively party in the translation notes.She was really the daughter of Viscount Ethel, the Honorable Dorothy Brett; yet she had been a student at the Slade School of Art, and was always called "Brett," and she felt her place befitting a woman of her stature. Slade schoolgirl in smock.The first time she wrote to Lady Ottering, she had written her father's letterhead with the coat of arms, under which she had drawn an indecent, chinless head of herself.She is somewhat deaf and always wears a hearing aid, which she calls "Toby".

Brett's Nov. 5 soiree seemed to be for the Lawrences—the fashion was talking about going to Florida.It so happened that on this happy day, Lawrence heard that his book had been banned.Brett's book on Lawrence has a comic account of that evening.Everyone was there, including Mark Gertler, Clive Bell, and Lydon Strachey.It is likely that this was the first meeting of Catherine with Bloomsbury and Lady Audrey's friends at Gazington—whoever was a reader of The New Age could be listed in that week's issue. See Catherine’s parody on the Internet, satirizing suburban women’s attitudes to war (“I love the wounded, don’t you? Oh, I just love them, their lovely red and blue uniforms look so pretty, really Touching, isn’t it?”), pungent and pungent, and the fact that she sent it to Oriega, whom she had not so long considered “too vile” to trust, meant a lot in itself, and it marked a new kind of development in her writing. The appearance of the theme, which later became extremely important; it is also the further use of Dioclete's farce after coming into contact with it in 1911.Her real progress often starts with the little things. While Lawrence was too proud to seek a denial of enlistment from the Army, Murray was not: In early November, he received a new certificate of ill-health.No. 5 Acacia Road was transferred to several friends of Curt, who also invited Curt to live in it. On November 19, Murray and Catherine had arrived in Marseilles, and were going to find a cheap residence by the seaside for their writing.Catherine wants to pursue the past in pain so that her brother can be regenerated; while Murray is going to write a book on Dostoyevsky for Martin Sack in order to pay off the old debt owed by "Blue Review". account, he could write book reviews for Literary Supplement.He was no longer ashamed to live on Catherine's allowance, which was now £120 a year.However, Catherine's father didn't think so. He thought that the man living with her was evading his responsibilities no matter what. In Cassis, where the north wind was blowing on the south coast, they shivered in their hotel rooms, not knowing why they had come.One day, as they walked around the headland and sat on a rock, Catherine burst into sobs that seemed to last forever, and Murray found himself "tasting jealousy now" and lashed out at her, afterward I feel very ashamed again.Speaking of the incident later, he blamed himself for being jealous of a dead brother.But pure grief over the death of a family member does not make a husband jealous or resentful. There is no doubt that Catherine loved the younger brother, that there was a strong attraction between them, and that his last words were addressed to her, but they did not have much contact as adults.She had evidently lied to him about her purpose in "a week in Paris" the previous spring, and her reaction to his death (with a strange mix of her cynicism a few weeks later) made it seem as Sitting on the stone and weeping bitterly, Cassis may feel guilt as well as grief: actually guilt towards his own family since 1908, towards the Trouvilles.The tears shed at Cassis were as much about his brother's death as about his past rebellion, and it was for this that Murray felt left out. He began arranging a return to London, planning a reissue, finding a printer to help Lauren Clive Bell (1881-1964), British writer, husband of Virginia Woolf's sister Vanessa, Blooms One of the members of Bury. ——Annotation ① Cassis, a coastal city in southern France. ——Annotation of Sri Lanka.Before leaving, they found Bandar, a village on the coast, and settled Catherine comfortably in an inn.Murray returned to London, though he was beginning to regret his decision by this time. The two agreed that she would come back as soon as she could start writing again.Her first letter from Bandar, from the warm South, was almost too full of Keats-like joy.Murray, on the other hand, rented a room in Hampstead for 9 shillings a week and settled down alone, with the Lawrences and Campbells sometimes coming to dine together. But by this time Catherine was ill, first with "Marseille fever," which they had both had when they were there, and then with what she called "rheumatic neck." Lying in bed in a strange hotel, she longed for his letters, After not hearing from him for two full days, her reaction (in such a country at war) was somewhat unusual—she wrote: "Don't leave me like this, not heard from, it's cruel—too cruel. ’ And Murray’s letters from his solitary cabin revealed his almost pathetic dependence on her love, humiliating him to say that he was not worthy of her, that he was “nothing but a little man,” but he All the love was given to her. It later turned out that this unusual emotional outburst was partly caused by her third bout of illness, and still no one suspected that she had tuberculosis. In this predicament, she wrote "a somewhat wild letter" to Lawrence, which she later admitted to Murray "we were not fair then, do you understand?" Also present, Lawrence didn't show him the letter, but after reading it, he went to Murray: it was all Murray's fault, he was a coward, he never gave Catherine a new life, her illness was caused by sorrow , all because Murray is always timid, never makes decisions, etc. The row made Murray's decision.Lawrence was being offered a cottage in Cornwall at this time, and he was going there after Christmas, so that Murray could go back to Bandar, so he suggested that Catherine should look for a cottage.Meanwhile, at Lawrence's instigation, Autrin Morel invites him to spend Christmas with Lydon Strachey and Clive Bell at Gazington Manor.Murray tells Catherine that his new friends are "respectable people," but says he feels like a wild child among them.When he returned to the attic where he slept, he could imagine falling asleep with Catherine in his arms, "the birds cover us with leaves". On Boxing Day Catherine had a telegram from him from Gazington that he would be back soon.The next morning, she went to the post office and had a little celebration, "new nibs for all the rotten rusty pens". She was in good spirits, found Pauline's Cottage, met the kind hostess and hostess, ordered wine and firewood, and on the 30th she happily snapped up "a whole three dozen roses and six bouquets of violets" at the flower market. Catherine's letters from Bandar to Murray in December of that year—at least one a day for three weeks—expressed "joy" even in her letters from Paris the previous spring. Vividly, in retrospect, there are clear signs of tuberculosis in these letters as well as in the book. December 27: "I know I can't sleep, my heart is full of joy, oh Jack, I can barely breathe." Three days later: "I'm still so scared it hurts to breathe." "Even my My heart stopped beating, and only the sound of blood flowing in my veins made me feel alive." At the end of the year, she wrote: "I loved you with all my heart for three years, but it seems that I never ② Keats (1795-1821), English Romantic poet.—Annotation ① An endemic fever Marseilles on the Mediterranean coast is the most typical, hence the name. ——Annotation ②Lawrence’s residence at that time.——Annotation ① On December 26, according to British custom, people present "boxing gifts" to the postman on this day, hence the name.—— Annotation ② is a small house where Catherine lived for a while after that.—Annotation I love you with all my heart like I am now..I have never felt this way..In the past I seemed to be just playing on the edge of love, just Experiencing a life reflected in a mirror that doesn't really belong to me..." Murray wrote in "Between Two Worlds": "I never saw Catherine like this." associated with her illness.In Lankton, they were still doomed to hurt each other, and Pauline Cottage was their safe haven.But not far from here lies Verdun, awaiting what is to come.Throughout this period, one sees not only the private lives of Catherine with Murray, with Lawrence, and with friends, but also the tragic path of hope mixed with irony that prolific writers groped their way through during the First World War, and Sarcasm itself reveals its unreality. On January 21, 1916, Murray wrote to Mrs. Ottering that "we get up at 7 and go to bed at 9:30". He and Catherine sat at the dinner table facing each other as they did most evenings, and she was writing a letter to be sent to Justington, something Kay had been trying to send since Murray had told her "there was a wonderful woman in England" To her, say to her "This moonlit night the apricot tree laden with flowers casts a blue shadow with long silken sash on our snow-white verandah."Sometimes both sat at the table and wrote poems about their happiness. Murray wrote: "We paid 22.5 francs for rent and the remaining 75 francs to live on. We tasted unbelievable sweetness, a Spanish girl came to help us in the morning, and the rest of the time we wandered around." Sometimes they sat down to work, and Murray read about Dostoyevsky, while Catherine was thinking about writing something she had never written before, and her desire had never been stronger: "I chose The way of writing will also be completely different." What she wanted to write at this time was "Remembering My Own Country"—to repay the "sacred debt" owed, "the debt of love".She wanted "to make our unknown country leap into the old world's field of vision, it must have a sense of mystery, seem to float and breathe. It must have a sense of mystery, dazzling and brilliant, leaving an afterglow." She re-read her Caroline story "Aloe Vera," thought it was "good," and set about starting over with a new idea she hadn't had the previous spring: that the story would end with the birth of Leslie (actually No), the name "Overture" was not thought of at that time. "Aloe Vera" is a third longer than "Prelude", and has neither vitality nor afterglow: first of all, many dross have to be eliminated, and Catherine undoubtedly encountered unprecedented troubles, because it represents herself and her usual way of writing Parting ways from the subject matter—was a vacillating, discursive form at the outset. It's just a moving picture of a New Zealand family moving out of one house in the city and settling in another in the country, all seen through the eyes of the characters rather than the narrator , in fact, the "narrator" is almost imperceptible, just staying on all the characters in turn, and there is no plot, at least there is no pre-arranged reason and effect to pave the way for the ending.The feeling evoked in the reader is not the story but life itself.The work just shows the reader step-by-step what all the family members think, feel, behave, and adjust to their new home - their entire colony life to be exact - so there are two kinds: recognizable and unrecognizable identifiable, indicating that they are aware, in their own distinct ways, of how the new environment will change their lives. ③Verdun, a fortress city in northeastern France, where the famous French-German Battle of Verdun broke out in February 1916 during the First World War. ——Annotation When the "Prelude" was finally formed, part of its charm came from the effect of the center shift. The narrative shifted from the inner activities of one protagonist to the inner activities of another. It seems that the narrator is omnipresent and at the same time does not exist at all. Without causing confusion, this is Katherine Mansfield's own way of writing. It seems that for Catherine, learning to write is also learning to be a person, which is another example of the close connection between personal life and creation. While Catherine was in Bandar, Anne wrote to a friend, "You will be glad dear Leslie has finally turned poor Cath the prodigal, she wrote very lovely letters to us all, she loves Leslie. ""In December, Catherine also mentioned in her diary that she wanted to hug her father; two months later, he increased her living expenses. Wellington's Turnbull Library has some printouts of Catherine's letters to her father. Donated by Catherine's father before his death (he died in 1959), one of which was written by her on March 6th, 1916: Dearest Father: I received your letter this morning and learned that you have told the bank manager that the monthly Pay me £13 instead of the £10 I used to be, I hardly know how to thank you for your incomparable generosity to me, my dear, I happen to be short on cash and you have stabilized my financial situation and made me feel alive more comfort, more security. Thank you a thousand times, dear father, I am grateful that our dear child seems to bring me very close to you when he is here, and every time I talk to him about you, I realize how much I am Love you, adore you, how much you mean to me. Merciful dear father, forgive me my childish faults, remember me. Dearest and best father, I end this letter and thank you again from the bottom of my heart.I miss you every day and look forward to seeing you soon, God bless you dear. forever your child Kath The Lawrences decided to settle in Cornwall almost as soon as they arrived, and Lawrence began to urge Murray to come to them, saying that together they could find "a nice place where people can be happy" and live in peace, "with There is no struggle in the world, no worries and worries.”But he wants a relationship based not on purpose but on the person (with Murray, after all).He wrote to Catherine saying, "I am tired of this obsession with personal factors, personal truths, personal realities... I don't need a purely personal relationship with him, he is a man, so our relationship should be based on purpose The basis, not of who we are, but of what we wish to achieve." Instead of always touching their own souls, or the souls of their acquaintances, they should try to create a new life, a "community" new life. Catherine didn't want to go. She liked Lawrence very much, but she was afraid of his chaotic thinking. She was also afraid of Frieda, who she thought was the cause of everything; You Dian ① (that is, later the famous composer Pete Warlock and novelist Michael Allen).They were both involved in the scheme at this time, although they soon fell out with Lawrence, or he fell out first.There is no news about Suharodi, an Indian law student. ① refers to Catherine's younger brother Leslie. —— Annotation ① Declan Koyoudian (1895~1956), also known as Michael Allen, was an Armenian novelist and playwright who lived in the UK for a long time. ——Annotation to the end of February—Catherine just started writing "Reed Moss"—the Murrays compromised, although it was not because of Lawrence.The army has begun to recruit unmarried men. Murray is unmarried and short-sighted, and can participate in non-combat service. For this reason, he must return to England. On the 26th, Catherine wrote to Mrs. Ottering, "Thank God the Armenian is gone, I hope he takes Heseldin away too... It's a pity that Lawrence can see rainbows around so many boring people, in so many Small-minded people see heaps of shining gold." Murray wrote in the postscript: "Perhaps you already know that we will live with the Laurences all the time, and I dare say it will last all summer." Soon Hesse Aldin also left. Lawrence found a village of stone farmhouses called Tregson, on the north coast of Cornwall, they rented a small farmhouse facing the sea for 5 pounds a year, and a rectangular farmhouse at right angles to it. The Murray couple can rent it for 16 pounds. There is a steeple at one end of the house, and there was a castle-like tower top at that time.Lawrence wrote eagerly: "I call it Catherine's house, Catherine's steeple." The two houses are only about 12 steps apart - they can stand at their windows and chat!There could be a maid, and later maybe Heseldin could have a room in their house in Murray.Lambs jump around like clouds of smoke, seagulls and ducks compete for food, sometimes a lone fox appears, and there are boats on the sea.Lawrence wrote on March 11: "We believe that you two are the only friends tested, true and permanent friends, true blood relatives, and I know that this summer we will be very happy." Frieda told Catherine that all she wanted now was "Live without worries—like the lilies in the field." When, towards the end of March, Murray told Lady Ottering that they hoped to see each other soon, the little iron gates of Pauline Cottage were closed for the last time, and they were soon back in England.Murray's book on Dostoyevsky is finished; the Overture is not yet finished. When Catherine was in Bandar, she exchanged occasional joking letters with Sergeant Frederick Goodyear, who, like so many other soldiers, was bored with the Meteorological Service at HQ. Eager to talk to women (in fact he may have been in love with Catherine for a while in the past). A letter from Goodyear to her on February 14 said: "You have written some good things, and I think Mrs. Ottering is deeply touched by this, so I invite you into her bedroom."— He wrote the letter sitting in a tavern, drinking some champagne and stout.Is what she said true?Did Lawrence really give her a certificate of merit!Is she really perfect?Or is it just Jack?He had learned to sneer now—could she listen to his indignation? "Your writing is vivid. Have you ever saved a soul? If not, then why bother writing! Then save mine first." In fact, he has only one regret, that is, she has never been taken to bed by him. He can't imagine a greater joy than "discussing art and life and our bodies in bed", "may your breasts bloom like flowers".Stop talking!He's not that stingy yet, but he misses her talent for acting on both sides terribly, which makes talking to her a consolation in life, and despite her deceit, she's a real darling and wants her to write to him , not a postcard he just received that even had the wrong address. He did receive a letter from her later that same month, to which he replied on 28 February, "Our spiritual sympathy is nearly perfect," he wrote (but it seems inappropriate): "You've been bound to Murray for as long as I've known you, and I can't count on it, though it's made things awkward between us." Now in the army, he's fallen, lost Taste of all things, "I very much doubt that anything worth having can survive". He's always amazed that he's still alive. "My sex life includes five prostitutes, one engagement, and several long, sad friendships. Like a hedgehog, I've never had sodomy." In fact, he has always been resentful about life, "To be honest, I feel that everything around me is meaningless." Catherine's unsent letter to Goodyear has been censored and included, and he may have received a reply in draft form, "Yes, you are ill-tempered, suspicious, and irritable," she wrote (1916 3 April 4): "If you think I'm tempting you, you're wrong, so stop your five whores, one hedgehog story, stop giving me your list of marble temples, Though it used to be a pleasure to walk in those halls." Then she wrote a funny passage about how she hated French furniture—so uncomfortable that the bed was the only place to go: "I quite understand the so-called French Moral depravity. You're literally forced to sleep—with whomever." The letter was never sent, but on April 9 - by which time the Murrays had arrived at the Lawrences in Cornwall - Goodyear wrote Catherine a calm and serious letter criticizing her character and attitude , Catherine was more touched than Olega's criticism four years ago.He wants her to be better because he likes her.After a joking opening, he wrote: "I'm going to teach you a lesson next time". You were demanding of life in the past, and like a medieval knight, you considered robbery and plunder to be a good life, and you single-mindedly prided yourself on your successful lying and deceit, relentlessly and openly despising people in social groups as nothing more than fair trade.Now you say that human nature is generally repulsive, which was your usual attitude in the past, but you were more unknown then.You still isolate yourself from the world, yet admit (I think through lessons learned) that there is a power that you were unaware of in the past. So there are two paths before you: make peace again or return to the condescending attitude of the past. The first path takes a quasi-Christian religious stance; the second is more philosophical and self-denying.If she had been right, she could be right now, just by shutting herself up. But you yearn for and feel deeply intercourse with the outside world, and you seem happy and equal enough to live in a kingdom of sounds, smells, grass, dew, coffee-house mirrors, and all odd things and phenomena , I don't understand why you don't socialize with people, they are also part of nature.除非你像包法利夫人①一样，一直对日落以及诸如此类的东西“怀有艺术家的伤感”。 是否人们那种野蛮竞争的wL乔治式的态度迫使她如此呢？每一叶小草，每一颗可爱的花蕾都是一样的，事实上看起来越可爱，就越能打动她的心。“我觉得人和事物的文学意义过于单薄，不值得去体验，这会使生活削弱为单纯的批评过程。如果放弃批评，就能得到一些新的东西，一个潜在生长的过程。”他并不认为事物具有引人入胜的文学意义，有助于人们写作，至少不是有意如此。某种积极的生活（她曾经表示过积极生活的愿望）很可能帮助她松弛一下那“过于紧张、失去弹性的文学神经”。 积极的生活并不一定就是身体的活动，而是一种具有外在目标的生活，“不仅仅是观看，享受或者厌恶。” 你将要一直努力工作，每天早晨起来都要抱定背水一战的决心。总而言①包法利夫人，法国作家福楼拜的同名小说中的女主人公。——译注之，积极的生活颇有益处，当然，必须完全用于你自己的日的——它并不会无缘无故地吸引你。 没有哪一个了解她的人——既不是经常见到她的劳伦斯，也不是奥列加，当然也不是默里——比古德伊尔在这封信中更为尖锐地指出过凯瑟琳对生活、自然和艺术所取态度的不足之处，“你那过于紧张、失去弹性的文学神经”——寥寥几字，就将她概括了。 实际上古德伊尔认识作为作家的凯瑟琳比默里还早，因为奥列加曾将他的一篇文章同她的第一篇来稿发表在同一期杂志上，他告诉她“当我第一次在《新时代》上读到《德国公寓》时，我对自己说，如果这个女人还年轻的话，她绝对会有出息。但我肯定她已结了婚，45岁，已至更年期。所以我那时没有写信，也许还是不写的好，因为这不是我的职责。 这以后他们只短短地见过一次面，那时古德伊尔在英国休假。1916年下半年，古德伊尔显然觉得自己错过了一桩婚事，决定要求上前线，结束这种烦闷的生活，这次轮到他厌世了。