Chapter 17 15 "Second Entry into the Palace" (1981-1982, aged 46)

The place where I was imprisoned should be the Taoyuan Taipei Prison, but they left me in the Tucheng Detention Center.The reason was that the Taipei Prison was too crowded to live alone, but the "superior" thought that Li Ao would know too much if he lived with others, so it was better to live alone, so he stayed in the detention center for enforcement on the surface.So I stayed in the detention center. I was an exception, different, and this kind of difference, I learned it as soon as I arrived at the detention center.Among the eight dormitories of Zhongxiao, Renai, Xinyi and Pingping, the second dormitory of Zhongxiao is a relatively special dormitory, the third dormitory of Zhongxiao is a dormitory for forbidden seeing and the dormitory for criminals, the dormitory of third filial piety is a dormitory for serious criminals, and the second dormitory of Zhongxiao is a dormitory for death penalty or life imprisonment Prisoner’s room, Zhongyishe Xiaoyishe is a room for serious criminals, but Xiaoyishe has a unique name called “Protective Unity”. Prisoners with very special identities—such as foreigners, important civil servants, police personnel, etc., are also protected here from death. Accident.When I went to the detention center, I was interpreted as a special case, so although my half-year sentence was far behind all the felons who served more than 10 years, I was also included in it.Ordinarily, a light criminal like me with a half-year sentence should have been sent to the factory to escape, but the "superior" said that he would "protect" me, so he was locked up alone in the No. 32 State Building.

Liu Fengsong (sentenced to three-and-a-half years) who was convicted of violating the election and strike law for running for the "National Congress Representative" lived alone in Room 46 before being transferred to Taipei Prison. Mine have all been inspected, registered, transcribed or photocopied by the director of Xiaoyi House, the class staff of the first parish, and even the security department. Such "protection" is obviously beyond the necessary level, and of course it is terrifying and hateful.In order to resist, I will not send a letter through them.So during half a year, they only saw letters, but no reply.The only exception was when the lovely "female secretary" Wu Wei came to see me first, and I wrote her a formal letter with a few words. Other than that, they couldn't figure out my ideological problems or any problems from the letter.

Once a letter came, because of a formality error, they forgot to photocopy it. As a result, they deliberately extended the release time while I was on the basketball court.In order to sneak into my room, find out the photocopies and put them back; Liu Fengsong’s several manuscripts were processed by letter, but due to a mistake in the procedure, they were able to be sent at first, but later the security unit used an official tone, and the organizer had to beg Liu Fengsong in private Help recover.These wonderful things, if you say that Liu Fengsong and I are not in prison as political prisoners, if you say that we are not in prison for political reasons, is it too naive?Wouldn't it be too unfair to say that I, Li Ao, was imprisoned for the crime of "embezzlement"?

The loneliness of being locked up in a dormitory is unbearable, and it is the most unbearable thing for ordinary criminals. They have to pass the time.The best way to pass the time is to go out and work.Although the work is hard, everyone rushed to do it. When I was a political prisoner for the first time, I spent most of my time in a solitary room in the detention center of the Military Law Department. Once I changed rooms, because there were too many people, a gangster from Taoyuan Dayuan was sent to work with me. live temporarily.His name is Xu Xingde. I was reading a book, and he sang Japanese songs loudly. I said you are too noisy. You can do some work. He said there is no work to do. I saw dirty spots accumulated over the years on the inside and outside of the toilet. I said you Just wash the toilet, he said yes, after washing for a while, the dirty spots can't be washed off, he said that it can only be done by scraping with a knife, do you have a knife?I handed him a substitute knife I made privately - ground from the iron sheet on the sole of a shoe - and he was very happy, so he started scraping slowly.I shaved all afternoon and only shaved a little bit. I laughed at him for being too slow. He said, "I did it slowly on purpose. I have work to save and do it slowly. What should I do when I'm done?" So I got rid of the hardship of only being in jail and not working.In addition to being easy to pass the time, the factory has a large scope of activities and many people, so you can talk nonsense, and it is also convenient to deal in contraband such as cigarettes, so everyone is scrambling to be the first.From the point of view of a criminal, Li Ao was only a light prisoner sentenced to half a year, but he was kept in a solitary room. This is typical abuse, not preferential treatment, but Li Ao doesn't care.This kind of treatment is exactly the treatment of a political prisoner charged with "occupation"!Zhou Qingyu complained to Wang Tuo in prison in the second issue of the first volume of the magazine, saying: "Wang Tuo has always hoped to be sent to work in a factory. He said that judicial cases under six years old should not be treated as serious criminals." Wang Tuo is really a nerd, he complained that he was treated as a felony criminal after six years in prison, but he didn't know that Li Ao was treated as a criminal after six months in prison!In fact, I don't have the destiny to work, but I wouldn't do it if I had the destiny, because I have to study hard, so how can I have time to waste?But the factory didn’t know. Many college students in the printing factory wanted me to come over, and the directors of the factory also asked the “Registration Office” to transfer me. It was explained face-to-face, not only you can't transfer him, we can't transfer him, even the director can't transfer, stop dreaming!" ——Besides political reasons, what else is there to treat such a light prisoner like this? Woolen cloth? In 1918, Russell was imprisoned for four and a half months, and the "superior" explained that he should be locked up in the "First District", let him live alone, and less observed others. In 1981, history repeated itself.What 1918, 1918 has not passed, 1981 is 1918!

There were 3,300 people locked up in this facility, but there were only 161 administrators in the police ranks. They were divided into shifts, with 80 people in each shift.These people are called "jailers" according to the traditional Chinese saying. After Zhou Bo was imprisoned in the Han Dynasty, he said with emotion: "I have tried to command a million troops, but I know how expensive prison officials are!" (I used to be the commander-in-chief of a million-strong army, but I didn’t know that jailers were so majestic!) The jailer’s prestige is in line with Chinese tradition.Among the traditional "jail officials", the so-called "jail chiefs" are the "marshals" who wear police clothes.The bailiffs only walk in courts and prisons, and “take off this skin” as soon as they go out, because they are afraid of being confused with the real police, and encounter situations outside, causing embarrassing scenes:——Some situations the police have to deal with, and they Non-police, naturally embarrassing.But there are exceptions.Back then, in order to cooperate with the Kuomintang cultural agent Xu Fu to watch and sue me, the court suddenly sent a 14-cent bailiff to arrest me. I smiled and asked the 10-cent bailiff: "Did you arrest people and not notify the district police?" This man has a great sense of humor. He said: "We are 'independent judiciary', don't notify us!" - What an "independent judiciary"!Most of these "judicial police" are people who bully the good and fear the evil. In their eyes, although Li Ao can write without using a knife, he is no different from a hooligan, completely evil, so they are afraid of me.

Although there are 3,300 people locked up in the detention center, there is only one full-time doctor and one full-time nurse.On average, doctors have to see 400 people every day. Although it is difficult, it is also bizarre not to see any of them.The full-time doctor is Jin Yaping, the head of the health department. He has to do administrative work, so Nurse Wang sees the doctor, and Nurse Wang seldom sees it.For example, when Huang Renwen, an obstetrician and gynecologist convicted of abortion, was caught, he was told to see all medical and surgical procedures, as well as all difficult and miscellaneous diseases; another obstetrician and gynecologist Chao Huang, who was convicted of abortion, was caught and the same procedure was followed.This kind of general practitioner sees an average of 400 patients every day. Of course, it is just nonsense and perfunctory.As for dental disease, there is another dentist, who only comes once a Monday. After perfunctory dozens of people, it is regarded as a visit. Therefore, in theory, people have to choose a good time for toothache. It hurts, it deserves it (When I was a political prisoner for the first time, the military doctor Feng Fatzi didn’t see the doctor, and the Taiwanese independent prisoner Chen Zhongtong was a general practitioner, and Feng Fatty watched martial arts by the side. The dentist was a worker in the infirmary of the police general, because I have a lot of experience, so I come to volunteer once a week. But this man can only pull out teeth, but can’t fill them. Some of my teeth were despised by the police, so I couldn’t keep them, so I can’t bite my teeth against the police. ).

The scene of seeing a doctor every time in the detention center is amazing.Doctors from Daquan came into the dormitory, sat by the administrator's nest, and saw a doctor at a high speed of seeing one person in an average of two minutes.The prisoners squatted in a line on the passage, and then squatted forward one by one, passing in front of the knees of the general doctor, and they were done.When a cold comes, it is very easy to contagious, so the scene of injections is even more amazing. No matter how many people, only one needle and one needle are used, and the medicine is inserted into the medicine bottle without disinfection. After the injection, I have an article - "Only change the buttocks but not the needle", which is dedicated to this kind of modern and ancient wonders.

The profit of the welfare agency is another major source of income besides the official salary and bonus of the prison head, so its activities are spectacular.The profit-making basis of the welfare agency is directly related to the management of "hardening the walls and clearing the wilderness". Because of the "solid wall and clearing the wilderness" in management, the sources of materials for criminals are greatly restricted, and naturally they have to accept the monopoly and monopoly of the welfare agency.For example, the welfare agency wants to monopolize and monopolize canned food, candy, and pastries, so the interview room refuses to accept canned food, candy, and pastries brought in by relatives and friends of inmates. Isn't it blatantly illegal for the detention center to give away canned food, candies, and pastries?Who said no?But what if it is violated?

It is said that fruit can never be rejected, right?You can't refuse it, but you can make it difficult for you to send it again.grapes?no!Grapes will make people send bootleggers, please take it back!Oranges?Yes, but please peel off the skins one by one before we register you, because there is space in the middle of the oranges, you can inject wine into them!You family members, look at our welfare agency is right next to me, why don't you buy our oranges?Don't peel our oranges, buy ours, okay? Article 85 of the "Rules for the Implementation of the Detention Law" only stipulates that fruit can be delivered, but there is no "rule" to "subcutaneous injection" of oranges. There is actually a jailer and a judge in the Taipei Detention Center who can misinterpret it like this, and then punish criminals and their relatives and friends. Think about it : A prisoner came to Tucheng from a long distance with relatives and friends, and waited for several hours, but the oranges could not be delivered. He had to squat on the ground and peel the oranges one by one. What is this scene like? In the small room, sitting on the ground, facing a dozen oranges that are all skinless and dirty, what should I do?I couldn't finish it on the first day, and cockroaches and ants ate it in the first night, and it was almost rotten on the second day!

The welfare agency not only supplies canned food, candies, cakes, and fruits, but also provides large dishes. The main dish menu in late January 1982 was: stewed chicken with mushrooms for 400 yuan.Golden needle stewed chicken 400 yuan, Sixi platter 400 yuan, beef platter 400 yuan, and so on. As for the content, God knows what mushrooms, golden needles, and chicken are!Of course, if you add more money, the materials and methods will naturally be different.Hooligans bid farewell to dinners, and they can order tens of thousands of dishes. They reported to the supervisor for special permission, and invited me to participate. The way to eat is to spread newspapers on the floor of the corridor, put various dishes on the table, and everyone squats in a circle (I have a small bench), and then eat it around the dishes.In the western restaurant of the city, there is a large turntable with moving dishes on the table. The English name is Lazy Susan (Lazy Susan). Our kind of dishes are not moving, so it should be called "busy (male) Susan", I think Well, Miss Su San, who played "Su San Qi Jie" in Beijing Opera, can't even imagine the high profits of such a place!

When a prisoner comes back from the courtroom, he has to be stripped for inspection, and the administrator has to check the top of his head.Check the mouth, check the chest, check the back, check the soles of the feet, check the clothes, check the slippers, and also check the anus to prevent cash or drugs from being trapped in the anus. Ass, showing the ass to the administrator.On average, an administrator sees more anus in a week than a famous proctologist in a year.Once, I made a joke about Dr. Du Shengkai from the central clinic. I said: "Dr. Du, what is wrong with you? Why do you study proctology and look at other people's buttocks all day long?" Dr. Du joked: "People's buttocks are the best. Look, you don’t know! Especially black asses are the best.” I think, people who like to see butts can really be the administrators of the Taipei Detention Center—there are too many fucking asses to see !Dr. Du really has no eyesight! In terms of books and periodicals, the detention center has a very wide range of seizures. All books with "knife", "gun", "sword", "halberd", "xia", "desire", "injustice", "vengeance" and so on in the title will be searched. buckle.When Wang Tuo lived here, once, a set of "War and Peace" was delivered to his family. The counseling team of the detention center couldn't figure out what it was. They just thought the title was weird, so they reported it to the "High Court" The procuratorate dealt with it, and the "High Procuratorate" kicked the ball to the "Department of Justice". The "Department of Justice" said that "the banned books and periodicals should be based on those listed in the 'Catalogue of Banned Books'", and the institute should "check and handle it by itself."This football joke shows the extent of these civil servants.In addition, newspapers are often cut up before they are distributed to prisoners (when I was a political prisoner for the first time, there were nearly five years during which even the "Central Daily" was not allowed to read, so there was no problem of being cut up at all. Lei Zhen told me that he could read newspapers when he was in prison, but the cuts were severe. When he protested, the head of the prison said, "You have no right to read problematic news." Cutting, the piece on the back that is okay is also cut off, I have the right to see that piece!" The prison had no choice, so they used ink to paint instead of cutting. But the so-called cutting is just deception, the important thing The news will be "updated" soon. Lei Zhen gave an example: "The news about Li Zongren voting for the Communist Party was cut, but after a few days, when you see the news that Bai Chongxi blamed Li Zongren, you can infer what the news that was cut that day was. It’s gone.” The Taipei Detention Center also used the ink painting method at first, but they thought it was too troublesome to use the pen, so they used the knife). In addition to books and newspapers, a teaching stick will come to the detention center every month to preach the gospel for an hour.Because they could take the opportunity to sit on the passageway, the prisoners rushed out, sang "My Lord Jesus" and returned.When the religious sticks came, they invited me to participate, but I didn’t go, and asked me why, I said: “I am Jesus!” (When I was a political prisoner for the first time, the military judge interrogated me, I didn’t say a word, the judge asked Why didn’t I speak? I said, “Jesus didn’t speak when he was being tried.” From this, it can be seen that I take being Jesus as my regular job, and I am not a Jesus in a day! I went to the Taipei Detention Center for the second time. As a political prisoner, I feel more like Jesus. Jesus was crucified with the robber, and I was locked up with the robber. Isn’t this more “empathetic”?) Apart from preaching with sticks, religious activities are all based on personal self-cultivation.Generally speaking, the proportion of death-row prisoners who believe in Buddhism is relatively high, especially those who rush to hold on to the Buddha's feet.However, there are also examples of destroying Buddhas.A man committed a crime, hoping to be innocent, and believed in his Buddha. Unexpectedly, it took five years for the verdict to come down.There is another kind of religious stick, who believe in devoutly and talk about God, which is really annoying, but they can also enjoy themselves quite a bit, this is also the result of religious opium.Religion is not unhelpful to the prisoner's self-deception. Sometimes, it helps the prisoner's emotional stability, although this kind of stability is not as good as a banned cigarette. Four loudspeakers were hung on the aisle of the dormitory in the detention center. After closing the door, some music was played, which was the most terrifying.I counted and counted, it seems that there are only two records, so the songs are always repeated, including "Alpine Green", "Green Island Serenade", "Evening Fragrance", "Moon Full West Tower", "Rose Rose I Love You" and a few songs whose titles I don't remember, such as "Take off your hijab", such as "When the sun goes down, the Ming Dynasty will still be the same".Such as "Mr. Buy a Flower", such as "My Lover, How Can I Forget Her", such as "Rain in the East Mountain and Sunny in the West Mountain" and so on.The record is also owned by the master. Every time "Green Island Serenade" is played, it will be "shaking and shaking on the water" endlessly, until the player who plays the record player comes over and pushes it, and "Girl Floating and Floating" appears. On November 22, 1981, a group of journalists came to visit. The detention center bought a bunch of records indiscriminately in order to whitewash the show. It has been broadcasted since early in the special broadcast. Among them is "Broken Blue Bridge", which really kills the scenery.In the early morning of the next day, it was specially replayed, and the soul was interrupted for a while.A week before I was released from prison, "When Will You Come Again" was re-broadcast. Of course, I don't believe that the director of the detention center, Zhu Guangjun, is playing tricks on me, because he doesn't have such a sense of humor. Maybe it's just a coincidence? If this kind of broadcasting is regarded as entertainment in normal times, it is absolutely not in Taiwan holidays.Holidays in Taiwan are the scariest. A full set of "patriotic songs" came early in the morning. Fighting and "plum blossoms" continued all the way, and it took a whole morning to stop.There is no other way but to call Liu Jiachang a bastard.The inmates in prison hate all holidays, because when the holidays come, interviews will be blocked, and the release will be stopped, which is of no benefit to the inmates.Putting the seal on means coming out to exercise. Article 50 of the "Prison Execution Law" clearly stipulates "exercise for half an hour to one hour a day", but in fact, it is at most 20 minutes, and it is also canceled in rainy weather.When it was released, some people could play basketball. This kind of basketball has two characteristics: 1. There are no shoes, and they run around barefoot.2. The condemned prisoners were still running around with their ankles in shackles. These two scenes are unforgettable to me. On the second day after I arrived at the detention center, I participated in the release. When I walked to the release site, an interesting phenomenon appeared: hooligans from all walks of life greeted me, and rushed to tell each other: "Look! Hu Yinmeng's husband!" ——I have been in Wenhai for twenty years. In the cultural circle, I am famous all over the world, but if I want to be famous in the hooligan world, I can only be known as a woman's ex-husband. A woman is indeed much more famous than a man like me.I rewritten the words of the Song people and said to myself, this is called "walking out of the black prison, full of black-sleeve tricks"!In fact, to say that I am famous in the cultural world is to brag myself.Xiaotun, who studies Chinese at Chung Hsing University, wanted to look up the list of writers. She looked at the Catalog of Works of Writers of the Republic of China published by the Cultural Construction Committee of the Executive Yuan of the Republic of China, and found that in the 900-page catalog, Hu Yinmeng took up one part. , but Li Ao didn't even have a single line.It can be seen that in the list appointed by the Kuomintang, Hu Yinmeng is a writer, but Li Ao is not even a writer. Li Aozhi is an unknown junior, one can imagine!In fact, although I brag to the public, I am still very modest. Every time I "forget who I am" and feel arrogant, I think of two stories: Once I was eating at the "Golden Cake" and suddenly A waitress came over with a cardboard and asked me to sign it. I was very happy and thought to myself: "I don't think there are people here who know me." But the waitress said: "Our boss said that every guest must sign." Another time, my younger brother had a stomach problem, so I introduced him to Dr. Li at the "Xin Gaoyuan Pharmacy".There are two Dr. Li in New Plateau, one is in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, and the other is in the Department of Gastroenterology. The Dr. Li I know is Dr. Li Chengmi from the Department of Gastroenterology.But my younger brother made a mistake. He found Dr. Li from the obstetrics department and told him, "I am Li Ao's younger brother." The doctor nodded hurriedly and said, "Is Li Ao? I know her. She is going to give birth next month." gone." In terms of living, the room is 3.4 meters long and 1.8 meters wide, but more than half of this space is not within the scope of luck, because the ventilation pipe, washbasin, water tank, toilet, iron bed, Floor-to-ceiling cabinets, etc., have already taken up more than half, and the rest are less than 30 plastic floor tiles. Every five small steps in the diagonal line, you have to turn around and exercise inside. The project depends on the space. , All horizontal exercises, left and right movements, can not be done, only push-ups, sit-ups, neck exercises and "in situ marathon".The window of the small room I live in faces north, and the sun never shines in. After living for a long time, I feel like a compass, steering itself in the turbulent flow.At night, there is only one sixty-light fluorescent lamp on the roof. The room is two people high, and the light is already very weak.I put a cardboard box on the bed, and put a small door panel that fell off on the cardboard box. Most of them sat on the bed with their right leg crossed and their left leg hanging on the ground, reading and writing.The newspaper said that primary and middle school students "sit incorrectly, lack lighting, and greatly affect eyesight", and I think I am the same.The Kuomintang advertised that they "exchanged space for time" during the Anti-Japanese War, but I was just the opposite. I was "exchanging time for space" all day long, and even "exchanging light for darkness". I worked hard for half a year, and in half a year, I created I have published a lot of materials that give people light, but although I am myself, I am trapped in darkness. The filial piety house where I live has a total of forty-seven rooms, and the houses are classified according to the eight virtues, and each has three floors, so I am only one forty-seventh of the eight virtues multiplied by three, so small.Because of my energy, I only sleep for five to six hours and never take a nap, so my lifestyle is quite different from that of ordinary people. I wake up before three o'clock in the morning, and when I wake up at six fifty, I have already Worked for three or four hours.After getting up, the whole house started to make noise. With such a dense and depressed neighbor, how can the sound be kept from making noise?The noise didn't get any better until after lunch.After the nap, the noise started again until the sleep number at nine o'clock. The most distinctive aspect of living is the toilet.There is no toilet lid on each toilet, and you have to sit on it to defecate. In winter, when you sit on it, it’s like putting a big ice ring on your buttocks. I call it "ice ring".After defecation, be careful when getting up, because the skin is already bonded to the toilet, so you have to stand up slowly so that it will not hurt.When I had a bowel movement, my entire buttocks had a "full-scale Westernized" feel to it; after I had a bowel movement, I found that there was an extra circle on my buttocks, like a poet laureate's laurel wreath. I called it "Laurel Butt". Although I am only 1 in 3300 in the unit of criminals, the detention center was ordered to shut down Li Ao, but I dare not act hastily.On the morning of the day I reported for duty, "Minister of Justice" Li Yuancu went to the detention center. The detention center cleaned the room specially for me, erased the handwriting left by previous inmates, locked the iron bed, and so on.This has never happened in the detention center.After cleaning, Wang Benliu, the deputy director, took a special look at it and expressed his satisfaction.He also strictly instructed, safety first.Safety includes not letting Li Ao play tricks, and not allowing others to get Li Ao's tricks.The deputy director strictly instructed the director of Xiaoyishe that there must be no incident of gangsters punching Li Ao. Li Ao is too famous, and everyone will be finished if there is an accident.The director of Xiaoyishe patted his chest to assure, and asked the hooligans to pat their chests.The hooligans said that we admire Li Ao and nothing will happen.On the night of my report, cigarettes were smuggled in (they thought I was a smoker, but I had quit long ago).On the second day and the third day, it was already a scene of "the right time, the right place and the right people". Although the gangster was told not to talk to Li Ao much, I still learned some secrets and grievances.The director of Xiaoyi House was surprised and said: "I never expected you to eat so well and be so popular. When the people from Formosa Island lived here, they couldn't eat as much as you do. You really have a way!" During my time in the detention center, I am most grateful to two prisoners.One is Yu Changjiang, who was originally a student of Taichung No. 1 Middle School. He was sent to the kitchen to cook because he was jailed for refunding his ticket.He often cooks a dish for me, brings it all the way from the kitchen, and gives it to me, so that I can "eat a small stove".The other is Shi Bocang. He used to be the clerk of the Taipei District Court. He was imprisoned for an unjust case. The prison was understaffed. He was transferred to work during the day and returned to the cell at night. He lived next to me. As soon as I was imprisoned, he introduced himself at the window. , said yes to my readers.I doubted this man's identity, so I asked him how to prove that you are.He said he could recite one of my poems as proof, and I said you should recite it.He memorized it like a primary school student, and I immediately verified that he was correct.Ever since I met him, I have known a "thief". ——He went to the office during the day and smuggled materials to me at night. Based on the materials, I secretly wrote the 45,000-word "Prison Learning Tucheng?" ——The second political prison sentence: "There is no black prison in the world" long article, and he took the risk to send it in batches, and handed it to his wife for safekeeping. On the afternoon of February 10, 1982, when I was released from prison, I entertained readers and published this article.Because I have repeatedly published words about the darkness of the judiciary and the darkness of the prison, and successively complained about many unjust prisons, it has attracted the attention of the "Executive Yuan", Chinese and foreign public opinion, TV, the "Legislative Yuan" and the persecuted.One week after the "KMT legislator" Wen Shiyuan called out to stop the spread of Li Ao's heroic image, an unprecedented riot broke out in the Hsinchu Juvenile Prison. In addition to the Taipei prison escape and other incidents, the "Minister of Justice" Li Yuancuna stepped down sadly. "Ministry of Justice" Wang Jizhong, deputy director of the prison department, said publicly that this was caused by the detention of Li Ao. However, due to Li Ao's troubles, one person was lucky, and he was Shi Qiyang, the deputy director of the "Ministry of Justice". Li Yuancu stepped down, and he was promoted to be a minister.When I was in prison, one day when I was released, the head of the prison cell hurriedly said, "Deputy Chief Shi is waiting for you in the office. I want to see you. Please go and see you." I replied calmly; "But Mr. Li doesn't want to See him." I added another sentence: "Tell him, do you want to see Mr. Li? Mr. Li said that you are invited to meet him in the prison room!" Shi Qiyang, like the general officials, did not dare to come to the prison room. Investigating prison administration is just looking at the flowers on the big aisle.I refused to see Shi Qiyang, and I was so sure of myself. Everyone was arguing that Mr. Li was really arrogant. When a high-ranking official came to see him, he wouldn't even shake him off. On November 9, 1981, I translated Chapter 6, Verses 8 to 10 of "New Testament 2 Corinthians" for "Ru Qing": Seems like a liar, but is honest; Seemingly unknown, yet greatly famous; seems to be dead, but is still alive; Seems to be tortured, but not killed; Seems sad, but is always happy; Seems to be very poor, but makes others rich; It seems that there is nothing, but everything is little. This translation best represents my philosophy of imprisonment.I also have a poem "Ge Shi", which describes the situation after "Ru Qing" left, which best represents my philosophy of gathering and parting in prison: I have no friends in another life, Don't be that other person, In another life, others will ignore you, Like ignoring a lone cloud. Leaving you - soft winking eyes I'm leaving you - sweet red lips everything has left you, Only a trace of the dream remains. When the traces of midnight dreams are gone, When midnight dreams are hard to find, You turned over the darkness of another world, Made another lone cloud. There is another poem "Inside and Above the Drum", written about the dead souls living upstairs, which best represents my philosophy of interaction in prison. "Living alone in the prison, the prisoner who lives alone is locked upstairs, wearing shackles, staggering, clearly audible": I'm in the drum, He's on the drums. his dizziness, My brain is going crazy. The sound comes from above, Disastrous to everyone, If he were me, the same. I'm in the drum, He's on the drums. He walks once, I go ten times. He looked down, I look up. If I were him, the same. I don't believe that other poets can achieve this kind of fine feeling and refined expression.I often like myself to be a poet, but fools don't believe it. I was imprisoned twice before and after, and all the prisons I sat in were unjust prisons that were "not my crime". However, after being broad-minded and knowledgeable, I found that there are five hundred disadvantages of going to prison, but there are also five advantages: Number one, you're running out of time.Your sense of time has completely changed.The watch has been confiscated, and the unit of time has stretched itself, and is no longer so accurate.In the past, there were watches, one minute was one minute, and five minutes was five minutes. Once you are in prison, everything becomes an approximation. There is no need to fight for a minute, rush a few minutes, be a few minutes ahead, or be late or late after a few minutes up.In other words, never rush or set a time limit again, you'll never have time to do anything -- except regret it, if you ever regret it. Second, you run out of space.Your perception of space has also completely changed.The unit of space has shrunk, and it is no longer just a few pings, a few miles, or a few thousand meters.You start to really understand what a wall is.The wall is in front of you, to your left, to your right, and behind you.Four walls enclose a small space for you, which is not called space at all, but like the smallest unit of calculation space. You sit on the ground, wrap your hands around your knees, use your buttocks as the center, put your toes on, and turn 360 You will feel as if you are sitting in solid geometry.Solid geometry talks about space, but itself is just a small volume. Third, you have no enemies anymore.When your enemies lock you up, they separate you from them, and everyone is done.So, everything is over, you no longer see their nasty ugly faces, you no longer hear their same noises, you no longer have them check in front of you, no longer have them stalking behind you, you start It's quiet. Fourth, you have no friends.The brave friend is already in jail with you, and the timid heart is glad that you finally got in.Their mood is like staying outside the ward to visit a friend who is dying of an infectious disease but is still alive. The death of the patient is a relief for both parties.When you were first imprisoned, some of them would come to see you once, but only once. Afterwards, they were no longer curious. After seeing zebras in the zoo alone, they may not need to see zebras again for ten years.So that time I came to see you, not to visit, but to fulfill my wish, or to say goodbye forever.But, at any rate, they are the least hurtful of timid friends. Fifth, you have no women.When you are in prison, your metaphysical and physical are sitting together. Except for the crime of insolation, nineteenth, it is the metaphysical that causes trouble; the metaphysical suffers.Of course you're sorry for it when you dream back at midnight, when the physical body raises its head in protest or rises up at you.But on the other hand, all kinds of women's troubles caused by the physicality have also been wiped out by being in prison.Why?The relationship between a man and a woman is originally a chain relationship, which is difficult to distinguish, but once you are in prison, the relationship between the chain and the fence becomes easy to distinguish, because women are the animals that leave you the fastest when you are in prison.If a woman does not leave, you are only a man; if a woman leaves, you are a man. Going to prison can make you a pure man, changing from one thing for two purposes to one thing for one job, which is quite suitable for the principle of simplification, and it is not bad. In prison terminology, the first time in prison is called going to prison, but the second time in prison is called "second entry into the palace".During my six months in the "Second Entry Palace", except for the beautiful little girls like "Ru Qing" and Wu Weixian, I didn't see any of my friends. Tang Degang, Zhang Kunshan, Chen Xiaolin, Li Ang, Xu Yiqi, etc. were all in vain. City jail.Xu Yiqi wrote an article ""The Bell Is Safe and I'll Return"——Li Ao's Thoughts on Li Ao's Second Release from Prison", which knows me quite well. The full text is as follows, which serves as a summary of my prison life: Li Ao was imprisoned in Taiwan for the second time in July last year.In January of this year, I went to Taipei for some chores, and I was thinking about him, so I decided to visit him in Tucheng Prison.It was sunny that day, and the warm sun made people feel that spring had arrived.I called a taxi and drove straight to Tucheng.I thought that I could breathe some fresh rural air when I arrived in the countryside of Tucheng, but I didn't know that the taxi drove all the way to Tucheng before leaving Taipei. It turned out that the two towns were connected.The campaign posters all over the streets in Tucheng polluted my field of vision again, which made me feel very unhappy.When he arrived at Tucheng Prison, Li Ao refused to come out to meet the guests. The prison guard said, "He was looking for light in the darkness."Then think about it, why bother to see him?What can I say if I see him? On the way back, I recalled seeing him at the Jinlan Building in Taipei in 1979.Fifteen years had passed since the last time I saw him.We talked a few late nights.He was thinner, but full of energy.On the surface, he still has a childlike innocence, but in his bones, he is very deep.I see that he is afraid of the cold and wears a lot of clothes.Later I found out that his stomach was also bad, which, like his arthritis, was caused in prison.I asked him how was his life in prison?He twitched the corner of his mouth, didn't smile, and changed the subject to talk about something else.Later I couldn't help asking him again, he looked at me for a long time, pointed to the piano in the living room and said: "I bought it for my daughter with the money I earned in prison!" "Can you make money in prison?" I asked in surprise. "I write petitions for other prisoners." "Can you earn so much?" "Actually, I earn more than this, and the rest are distributed to fellow sufferers!" I know that Li Ao often helps people he sympathizes with or admires, but this is the first time I hear him mention it himself.After that, he never talked to me about the prison, let alone his feelings.He regards the affairs in prison as very personal, and he does not want others to share the burden.It is easy to make casual acquaintances with Li Ao, and he is also very interested in the world.But you can only really love him when you get to know him deeply and touch his soul.An old line of his can express this feeling very well: Why bother to be lonely with an empty cup? Why not fight the mountain gate with wine? Drunk eyes not open to smile, Also ask the sun to cut the dusk. Today, most intellectuals in Taiwan and overseas are pampered.Everyone is very busy, so they can only care about Liu Qing with leisure time; they can only watch "Formula Island incident" and "Chen Wencheng incident" with a "calm" and "on the sidelines" attitude, and take pride in this attitude.Regardless of the pros and cons, intellectuals have lost their enthusiasm for participation, not to mention "sacrificing their lives for righteousness".The "indifference" of intellectuals has become a worldwide climate in the past two decades, forming a new sauce vat.If you want to find someone who is desperate for ideals and principles, I am afraid that there are not many people.Li Ao is one, and his independence makes him far apart from others alone.In the past ten years, whether in or out of prison, he has always been like a tightrope walker.许多人等着看他的精彩表演，我总是替他担心捏汗。他倒是艺高胆大，斗志激昂，偶有失手也不气馁。三年前他复出后，仍不改江湖艺人本色，走他自己的钢索。在这种情形之下，实在无法用常人的价值去衡量他。对他自己的价值，他是自负而肯定的。他的另一首旧诗就写他自己的这种心境： 上帝所造皆鼠子， 抬头我却笑天公。 冷眼白尽世间相， 漠然无语傲群生。 李敖常常用自己比耶稣。我同他说这是不能比的，耶稣的爱心泊只有神才有。他说同耶稣比受难总可以吧！我倒相信他同耶稣一样都能背十字架，不过耶稣是为世人背，李敖只为自己的理想、原则背，这也是神同人的分野。李敖毕竟是读历史的人，他对一切人和事都以历史观点出发。这是很可取的观点。他的耐力、韧性或都源于此。他勤奋，重视自己的时间。他精力充沛，警觉性高，融会贯通力强。我总觉得他像一面镜子，看到他，会使人想到自己，反省许我事情。同他在一起，总使你觉得他负有重大的任务，也亟待完成。他在另一首诗里写道： 烟尘弥漫千重雾， 辛苦或失楼前树。 达者无为无不为 且为后世铺长路。 1980年再去看他时，他说他正在写有关谭嗣同的历史长篇。他滔滔不绝地讲谭的满腔热血，他悲天悯人忧国忧民的胸怀，以及谭的文学造诣。戊戌政变失败后，谭不愿逃走，宁可以死酬国，在菜市口被清廷斩首时毫不畏惧从容就义。李敖当时讲得很激动。这种事本来就是使人感动的，但对李敖，却不止此。你会觉得他是在身体力行。那天我们谈得很晚，第二天一早他就来了，带来一个扇面送我。他记得我曾要他在我的杭扇上写几个字。想不到他抄了一整扇面谭嗣同的诗给我。前首八句颇能表达李敖自己的情怀： 无端过去生中事， 兜上朦胧业眼来。 灯下髑髅谁一剑？ 尊前尸冢梦三槐。 金裘喷血和天斗， 云竹闻歌匝地哀。 徐甲傥客心忏悔， 愿身成骨骨成灰。 早在60年代初，我就说李敖最大的特点就是他的斗志。二十年后，本性未改。许多人说李敖这样下去迟早是一个悲剧角色。看他的诗，看他对谭嗣同的仰慕，好像他自己也有准备似的。他不止一次对我说，你们这些在外面的中国知识分子是中国的精英，但是你们为中国做了些什么？这是李敖对我们的期望，而我们对李敖的期望是什么？李敖第二次入狱，多少人觉得他是自作自受，多少人道听途说，落井下石，我们连起码的把人同事分别开来都做不到。我们在乎的还是私人恩怨，不是原则支持。 苦心岂免含冤怨？ 求全难燃已死灰。 如今哪复沧海日， 钟声无恙我将归。 李敖二十年前写这些句子时，可能是为情而写，正像他写的其他东西一样，迸发强烈的历史感。今天再读它们，仍可在不同的层次里揣摩它的意义。“钟声无恙我将归”，二月初他出狱归来，立即举行了记者招待会，大曝监狱黑暗内幕。他说六个月的牢不是白坐的，他看了一卡车的书，写了三十万言，出了六本书，完成了一篇十万字的小说。 这就是李敖，旺盛的精力，激昂的斗志。对于他，我们能说什么？