Chapter 57 Twenty-three, a new page (2)

I have adopted an attitude of full cooperation with W and several people under his leadership.I believe that problems should be rectified, this is the main premise.The purpose of the organization is to educate me, to be strict in criticism, to be lenient in dealing with it, to be strict in the future, and to be lenient in the past. I believe that the party's policy has always been like this.I believe that W and other comrades are kind to me, they all respect me and are very polite.Eat at the same table with me while criticizing the most severely, give me dishes, encourage me to have a good attitude, ask me to check and explain again, explain and check again, raise a little more, dig a little deeper, and then again A little bit and a little bit forever.I believe in them, and I really believe that it is a passion to help and save me.I also believe that I do need a serious cleanup, I do tend to be weak, hypersensitive, thoughtful, not proletarian enough.Similarly, I’m sorry, but I also know, I’m very clear: I can’t resist what I want to do to you, any slight resistance can only bring greater danger, you only have one way left, surrender with your hands up, Whatever you say is what you say.Originally, ideological problems cannot be grasped or seen, cannot be weighed or measured, it all depends on how to analyze them.

The criticisms against me are all related to literature and art issues. W said that he understands literature and art, and he also criticizes from art.Such as pointing out the failures in the "Group". W's famous saying is: The key lies in the nose and the ass.What speech, what article, smell it first with your nose, and it will naturally be clear.Where the butt sits, the views are naturally different. The butt determines the choice, the butt determines the consciousness, sit on the butt, and you will find out how serious your problems are, and how can you solve them?How come? ? ?What is enlightenment?What is smart?Wisdom and awareness lie in sensitivity to class interests.You are not even sensitive to your own problems, how smart are you?You are the most stupid.Everything you have is built on sand, and you must be ruthlessly destroyed. You have a future, but you need to change your soul.

W also has a unique saying called "Revolutionary Ah-Q Doctrine", which is to dare to admit that you have made a big mistake. It is much better to admit than not to admit it. If you dare to admit it, you can prove that you can correct it. If you can correct it, you can prove that you can Learn from experience, grow stronger, bad things become good things, and the more you admit now that you were wrong, the brighter the future will be.Such bowing down and pleading guilty is a great victory. First, I admire his analytical help.Second, I clearly felt the pleasure when he criticized me.

I must also admit that if I criticize and help a person, if I "help" him, my plausibility is not necessarily inferior to his. A meeting was held for one day, except for me, there were six people, civilized criticism, rational and sentimental, but also impassioned, golden voice, six people competed to see who could speak better, smarter, deeper, more serious, and more lethal power and explosiveness.All six people are ten thousand times wiser than the person being helped, and all six people have a sense of happiness, trust and dignity.Maybe at the beginning I was still a little puzzled and a little envious of a person who suddenly had five people and six people.How insignificant!How despicable!After saying such words, there may be a sense of satisfaction that I have become great and noble.

It then hung until August 1958, to determine the hat.Six months ago, Mr. Ruan Ming, the leader of the Youth League Committee of Tsinghua University, announced Wang's title to all the members of the school. My sister was a student of Tsinghua University at the time, she was shocked and sued me.I approached W for this, and W said that it has not yet been determined. As time passed, people revealed that the fate was decided at a meeting chaired by Zhou Yang of the Propaganda Department of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China.Yang Shu, deputy secretary of the Beijing Municipal Party Committee, insisted that he disagreed with the hat, and W, the person in charge of the unit, insisted that it must be marked. After a long debate, W proposed a series of wrong ideas that Wang himself checked and explained. The method is not bad.Finally Zhou Yang made a final decision: row.

Three days after the critique meeting, I took a photo, which I joked was Pushkin’s style. I was holding a little padded jacket on my shoulders, with a bright and chic expression on my face.Throughout my youth, I have never taken such a handsome photo.Only one night, I was very flustered, sleepless all night, constantly waking up to urinate. W couldn't stop, and after he finished me, he labeled one of his deputy almost as a rightist. Because of the quota limit, he was expelled from the party, but he was not given a label.Afterwards, W committed suicide by swallowing sleeping pills twice. He was rescued once after the Lushan Conference against Rightist opportunism. He only admitted that he suffered from severe neurasthenia and had taken too many sleeping pills.Finally he died at the beginning of the Cultural Revolution.He has a particularly bad mood, and his wife is very fair and beautiful.It came out that he couldn't do anything.After the Cultural Revolution, the Youth League Committee held a memorial service for a group of comrades persecuted to death during the Cultural Revolution, and I also went to W's memorial service.I am mourning and saying goodbye to an era.

Generally speaking, W did not have any personal motivation to clean me up. I did not find any public revenge for the anti-rightist movement of the Communist Youth League Committee, as shown in some literary and artistic works more than 20 years later.It's even more fatal for everyone to work on the principle of career and suddenly tear up face with colleagues, friends and relatives, kill relatives with righteousness, and seal throats with blood arrows.Tear your face, these three words have been publicly advocated as positive language, but being soft-hearted is unacceptable.At that time, I studied "Mr. Dong Guo" and "The Farmer and the Snake" all day long. At that time, how many wolves and poisonous snakes called for the iron fist of the people.

There is a much more important premise and principle here, that is, people believe that the leadership of the party represents the toiling masses of workers and peasants, the people at the bottom who have been oppressed and exploited for generations, and the most vulnerable groups. It wasn't fashionable to say that at the time.The people have the right to revenge and liquidation!The characteristic and charm of this ideology lies in the fact that what the proletariat loses is the chain, and what the proletariat gains is the whole world. Let the bourgeoisie tremble in the face of this ideology. Finally, on this day, the same and thousands of years of history will be turned upside down. upside down again!It's about to overturn the earth, it's about to overturn the sky!The iron tree is blooming!The mute spoke!The black hand of generations of slaves has taken power!Just think of how many generations of Yang Bailao, Xier, Spartacus, and Uncle Tom (the protagonist in "The Black Slave Calls to Heaven" also known as "Uncle Tom's Cabin") have suffered from poverty, pain, humiliation, Oppression, blood feud, dark and bitter well, then, let me ask you, as an urban youth, an intellectual, a shitty writer, a pampered cadre who plays the banner of the proletarian vanguard, he should not be subject to the people's oppression. Severe lesson?No matter how you rectify it, it is justified. No matter how you are despised, you still have a better fate than Yang Bailao. No matter how you are criticized, you are better than Xi’er’s humiliation.Of course you already have the mentality of original sin. When I think about the distance between myself, including the previous generation, and the workers and peasants, my body is not working hard, and I don’t know the five grains... I believe that I am in debt from generation to generation. I must go through self-criticism and transformation, through Masochistic self-denial, redemption of one's own soul.