Chapter 30 Chapter Four

It is said that the Buddha is merciful, and he always looks at the world with a smile in the posture of picking up flowers.When it is impossible to save, the Buddha will also treat each other with cold eyes, looking at the world of mortals who are also indifferent in sorrow and indifferent in joy.In the course of life, there are sunshine and rainy seasons.Under the sun, the sky is high and the clouds are light, and the clean blue makes people forget all the sorrows.It is precisely because I believed in the brightness of the sun and ignored the melancholy of the misty rain, I didn't know that all the warmth and beauty under the misty rain would be wet.Some people stubbornly weave clouds into brocade clothes, thinking that by wearing them, they will not be afraid of the wind and rain in the rivers and lakes.Some people calmly pick up fallen flowers and turn them into fine wine, just to give Nianhua a complete hangover.

Life is like a drama, and those hilarious comedies are always easy to forget after watching them.Only tragedies can be passed on through the ages, and will never end in the hearts of the world.We are all people who pick up waste along the way of life, looking for the style we need in the world full of illusions.When there is no way to go, just stay quietly on the uninhabited hills, and stay away from the troubled times.In fact, such an ending is not a tragedy. Everyone has to face the day when life is barren. It's just that some people's road is longer, and some people's road is shorter.But there is an end, no one can wander around the world forever with a bag on their backs.All the wonderful processes in life are fleeting images, whether you remember or forget, until the moment it stops, gains and losses are not important.

Nalan's illness became more and more serious. This time, it was different from the past.Where is the difference? Perhaps only he himself understands. He has an ominous premonition in his heart, and that feeling is getting clearer and clearer.He remembered the poem he wrote to his dead wife: "The steps are empty, the rain is more cold, and the weather for burying flowers. For three years, the soul has been dreaming, and it is a dream that should be awakened after a long time. It is also expected that the world is tasteless." The sunshine disappeared without a sound like this, and Nalan's life came to the rainy season and the flower burial season.In the past, he thought the world was tasteless, but now he is lying on the sickbed, but he is nostalgic for all the fireworks in the world. However, this nostalgia seems to be too late.

It's not a repair after a dead sheep, just a cold person who needs to light a fire to make him warm; just a sick person who wants to return to his former health; just a person whose heart is full of love and needs to extend time to fulfill his long-cherished wish in this life.The length of life has already been determined, and no one can easily prolong or cut half of it.He wants to leave, which cannot be brought back by any force, just like the lingering time, who can stop it and make it stop abruptly for someone?Maybe a person with a bright spring and white snow is destined to leave this chaotic and troubled world ahead of time. Only in this way can he complete a period of colorful and poignant beauty.

Nalan's illness lasted only seven days, and he passed away after seven days.The day of his death was May 30th in the twenty-fourth year of Kangxi.An ordinary day, because of the death of a person named Nalan Rongruo, it has never been an ordinary day since then.He was so decisive that there was no room for negotiation.Like a leaf, it falls resolutely. Although it also lingers on the branch, it must rush to death.Nalan is the one who walks to the cliff, and there is no way to turn back. His only way is to jump and break the dust.Nalan died in the arms of the one he loved, in the arms of Shen Wan. Shen Wan was his Jiangnan and the most beautiful dream in his life.Shen Wan wanted to pass on all the warmth to him, but he couldn't accept it; Shen Wan wanted to entrust his entire life to him, but he couldn't afford it.

It was he who broke the strings of his life with his own hands. He longed for the book of life to be turned back to the previous page, but the past has long been torn by the years.The moment Nalan closed his eyes, he wanted to see an ant foraging for food in the late autumn afternoon, a buffalo strolling on the ridge of a field, and the roof of an ordinary farmhouse outside Beijing. Curly smoke.No matter how simple a wish is, it cannot be satisfied. Sometimes, a most elegant person has the most vulgar wish.Nalan's lifelong wish is not to be a rich and noble flower in the world, but to leave all the prosperity, return to nature, and live in an ordinary and poetic way.

He failed to do it. Over the years, he has been intertwined between love and hate, entangled in noise and silence, choosing between gain and loss, wandering between stopping and leaving.He is actually a clean star in the sky, left behind in the world, so no matter how hard he tries and flatters him, he cannot be superimposed with the world of mortals.The dead cannot take away the time, nor the dust of this world.Nalan was reluctant to let go, he looked at Shen Wan weakly, he couldn't even say a word of sorry, he could only shed hurt tears.He can let go of the honor and disgrace of this world, and let everything return to the dust. Only Shen Wan's love for him is a debt he can never repay.

Who said that Nalan didn't leave any words when he was dying, he did.He told the living that he only wanted a simple funeral and gave him a simple mound.No one will take care of his grave in the future, he only hopes that the grass and trees in the world can cover this boundless life.Yes, life is boundless, walking in the wind and smoke, and finally disappears in the boundless wind and smoke without leaving a trace.Nalan returned his emotions, handed over the volume, put away his saber, and accepted a handful of loess to embrace quietly. The moment he closed his eyes, he no longer knew the pain.But those who are alive will always be immersed in sorrow, and will be awakened by this scar day and night.Hearing the sad news of Nalan's death, "everyone who cried cried out."The reason why he cried so deeply is because Nalan had a deep affection for his friends during his lifetime. "There are dozens of people who have written words of condolence, some of whom have never met in their lives." Nalan, who was well-known in the capital, and talented Nalan, his untimely death brought infinite sorrow and endless regret to the world .Such enthusiastic mourning gave warmth to death.

When Emperor Kangxi heard the news of Nalan's death, he was also extremely saddened. He sent royal representatives to pay homage to him.A personal bodyguard who has followed him for nine years, a person who was also regarded as a confidant, a courtier whom he favored.Maybe many people don't understand why Kangxi didn't go to Nalan Prime Minister's Mansion, light a stick of incense, and see off Nalan's soul.Is it really because he is the Ninth Five-Year Supreme, has the supreme glory, and refuses to look down on a speck of dust?Or is he also afraid of facing such a loss, afraid of seeing his own panic and loneliness?What has he lost?He lost a person who tested his horse to break through, a person who rolled his sleeves to cook tea for him, a person who wrote lyrics for him, lost a chess piece he was used to, and the piece of jade that he always wore on his body.He used to not give Nalan fame and fortune, but now even if he wanted to tie Nalan with the rope of fame and fortune, he couldn't do it anymore.

Nalan's departure, nothing is more painful than Shen Wan, she is pregnant with Nalan's flesh and blood, but still has nothing to rely on.She abandoned Jiangnan for him and went to the capital, only in exchange for a short life.God is sometimes more stingy than humans, and cares about every inch of time, and does not allow anyone to pay more than they gain.Now that she has made a choice, she should have no regrets. Shen Wan bets everything on herself, she is not a woman who cannot afford to lose.Therefore, when everyone thought she would be vulnerable, she was stronger than anyone else.The calmness and meaninglessness of swearing to death without regret brings a moist touch to people.Love to the extreme is really meaningless and irrelevant.Death is just a form and a process. It is a sharp knife that can cut off life, but it can't cut off deep friendship.

However, there was a woman who accompanied Nalan half a month after his death.She did not commit suicide, nor was she ill, nor was she victimized.No one can find out the cause of her death, only she herself knows why she died.She is Nalan's cousin Qingmei, the concubine Jing who lives deep in the Forbidden City.In this life, she believes that she and Nalan are two trees that grow together, basking in the sun together, receiving the rain and dew together, and reconciling with the heaven and the earth together. Their roots have long been firmly intertwined and cannot be separated.So, when one tree dies, the other must die.This is a law of life, she can't break free, and she doesn't want to break free.She wanted to find that lonely soul, and couldn't bear him to be left alone in the desolate wilderness. The hard work is the most pity for the sky and the moon, the past is like a ring, and the past is as long as a jue.But it seems that the moon is finally bright and clean, and I don't care about the ice and snow. The scenery in my eyes couldn't be kept, it was warm and fragrant, and I went to the carved saddle again.Yuqian shredded tobacco covers the road, and the weeping poplar is the acacia tree? What's the east wind, don't be the master of prosperity.Will the old Chui Yang still be able to hold a hopeless lovesickness?There was a sound of clatters outside the window, and the sound of Dada's horse's hooves had gone away. It turned out that he was not a returnee, but a passerby.He resolutely turned around, threw the person who had been waiting for him in the world of mortals in troubled times, and tasted the fireworks alone.