Chapter 31 Chapter 5 Return to Dust
For some people, life is originally a sad thing, a helpless mistake.It's like a beautiful butterfly falling into the dust net by mistake; a boat crossing the river with a reed is moored in the wrong harbor; a clean flower and tree blooms in the wrong season.When life comes to an end, you will feel that the years of trekking are just to rush to a brilliant but lonely ending.When we see the mulberry field in front of us is the sea of the past, the present world is the cloud of the past, and the farewell of the present is the reunion of yesterday. In fact, it is just returning all the illusions in the world with both hands.Thinking about it this way, is it possible to calm down a little bit?
When a person dies, all the love and hatred, honor, disgrace, sorrow and joy in his lifetime will be reduced to ashes.When everything is dead, is there no future?Not like this, in this world, some people will slowly forget you, while some people will always remember you.Throughout the ages, how many princes, generals, literati, and even civilians, some have been preserved in the annals of history, some have been scattered in the wind and clouds, and some have been buried in the dust.But there will always be people who will remember them, remember that every piece of land under their feet has left the footprints of their ancestors, remember that the surging rivers have been crossed by hundreds of boats and thousands of sails; oath.All of this is the continuation of their lives and their distant future.
Just like Nalan, although he left, his future has been spreading.The woman he loves, Shen Wan, gave birth to a child for him.This posthumous son named Fusen was justifiably included in the genealogy of the Nalan family and died well.When he was seventy years old, he was invited by Qianlong to participate in the "Thousand Seniors Banquet" set up by the Supreme Emperor.Is this a kind of soft comfort to Nalan who has had a rough life?As for the woman named Shen Wan, the Nalan family will definitely not accept her existence, as proud as she is, they will not disdain every tile and eaves in the garden of Mingfu.
In the late autumn of that year, Shen Wan disappeared after giving birth to her and Rong Ruo's child.She should be boarded in a flat boat, going down the river, and the place where she was taken in was Jiangnan.After losing Rong Ruo, Jing Shi no longer has any nostalgia for her.A person goes to a place that does not belong to him, even if he does not plunder, he will still be driven away after all.What can she take with her?Nothing can be taken away, but the fallen flowers are returned to the flowing water, and the spring is entrusted to the autumn.
Melancholy and desolate autumn evening.It has been years since the depression parted.
This woman named Shen Wan lived in seclusion in a courtyard deep in the south of the Yangtze River and never interacted with others.She is just an ordinary housewife, and she swears a lifelong promise for her dead husband.In her yard, weeds grow wantonly, the wall yard is covered with ivy, and a dry well is covered with fallen leaves.Every day, chew a page of Nalan's "Drinking Water Words" and live with memories.She will not let herself die so soon, she will live until her hair is gray, and spend her whole life remembering her love with Rong Ruo, falling in love with his words, and depending on his soul.This is Nalan's favorite woman, a famous prostitute in the south of the Yangtze River. Her love is naturally different from that of ordinary women.She threw her whole heart into the jade pot, not letting herself look back, because she loved so arrogantly and decisively.
Nalan's short life left behind a long story.So that after hundreds of years, his story is still being told infatuatedly, although every time there will be a chill in his heart.It is the coolness of a volume of drinking water poems, the coolness of a silk tree, a kind of coolness that is so pleasing to the soul but out of reach.Maybe everyone should think about him peacefully, because we have no reason to disturb his tranquility after going through hundreds of years of wind and smoke; Bleeding pain.Maybe we should be a merciful person, boil his past into a pot of tea, and let the fragrance flow slowly through our lips and teeth.
It is said that the acquaintance of people is a chance, thousands of people, thousands of scenery, only a few small paragraphs are related to themselves.For the rest, there will not even be encounters.When we go all the way to search, we always rub shoulders with the scenery.In many unintentional times, there will be some coincidences.Why, there are so many people in this world who will become attached to Nalan, and why do they remember the name Nalan Rongruo so deeply?It's not because he was born in a prime minister's family, nor because he admired his fame, but what makes the world unforgettable are just a few love affairs in his life, his collection of drinking poems, and his unique disposition.
This is a heart-moving poet. He is not a Buddha, but his words can make people let go of their sins, understand compassion, and soften the cold heart.He is a mirror with magic, what we see is not our own face, but our inner monologue; it is an emotional dictionary, in which everyone can look up the chapters and sentences they want; it is a plant with Buddha nature Bodhi, let me remember the fragrance of every flower, the story of a leaf, and the containment of a drop of water.
Since ancient times, poets and poets are like stars in the sky, countless.They also left a thick volume of poems for future generations to read, but very few of them are loved by the world.How many people's poems are used by us as fire starters to light firewood, just to cook tea for the stove, and gossip about the past and the present.There are also many poetry volumes of many people, which are deeply collected by us, and we cut a moon, a breeze, and a white cloud with a gentle heart, and put them in the title page of the book, just to keep more good.
Nalan Rongruo's "Drinking Water Poetry" is like this, which is treasured by the world, heartbroken, moved, and his whole life.A spotless poet, brought into the deepest world of mortals and the deepest rivers and lakes by us, can also startle the moon and claim the world.He is not a prisoner of fate, his ink painting will flow with time, let everyone who is destined to taste it once, and after suffering, he will naturally return to the sweetness.I always thought that if he let go of a little arrogance, he could have an ordinary present like us, but he didn't know that the fireworks of yesterday were always on and off in the depths of his memory.When we thought it was far away, his shadow was lingering around us day and night; when we thought it was very close, he was already far away.
In this life, Nalan proclaimed himself emperor in the ci, but he became a slave of emotion and life.His departure was to pay off the debt of persecution. It was not Nalan's doing to live on credit and to live on.People who are passionate or not always squander their lives too quickly. Li He, the ghost poet, Cangyang Gyatso, the sixth Dalai Lama, and Su Manshu, who is half monk and half layman, all traveled in the world of mortals and couldn't wait to leave.There are also many beauties with poor lives, their lives are like peach blossoms, they use their youth as sacrifices, and return what they receive and harvest to the soil and rivers.
Nalan was born in the twelfth lunar month, the season when winter plum blossoms bloom, and died in May, which echoed the poem - plum blossoms fall in May in Jiangcheng.Everything has a cause and effect.All his life, he firmly believed that he was connected with the Buddha, so we should bring him to the Buddha and let the Buddha give him a pure land where his soul can dwell poetically.I don't know if such a self-assessed arrangement is a kind of peaceful kindness, a kind of understanding kindness.
More than three hundred years passed by carelessly like this, without time to say how much I cherish, and without making any promises.Three hundred years, but at the moment of looking back, how far is the distance from one bank to the other bank, the cycle from autumn to spring, and the cycle from full moon to waning moon?For three hundred years, every day, someone walked into the dictionary and looked for him.Every day, someone is asking.
"Do you know Nalan Rongruo?"
"Yes, he is sealed in a volume called drinking water, I don't know if he can get out."
"What is drinking water?"
"It is said that it was said by an eminent monk in the Northern Song Dynasty: Like a person drinking water, he knows whether he is warm or not."
"So that's how it is. A career in Yunshui is not a dream, and a sparkling life is not empty."
From the beginning of a play to the end of a play, no one is the protagonist, but they are all the protagonists.Because the people on the stage interpret the loneliness, sadness and joy of the people off the stage, and what the people off the stage see is the gathering of people on the stage.When the fate is over, there is really nothing worth grieving.The departure of Nalan Rongruo, a generation of poets, is nothing more than a tomb outside the wilderness, a star has been taken back from the boundless sky, a fish has been taken back from the boundless sea, and a tree has been taken back from the lush forest , The vast world took back a grain of dust.
Bai Luomei
September 2010 in Taihu Lake