Chapter 29 Chapter Three

Spring is a river. You are here on the bank, lingering in the magnificent fireworks in March, watching a busy swallow dreaming with mud, watching a light cloud drifting leisurely, or drinking a cup of dew from camellias. Take a nap in the sun, and you have already missed the boat on the other side.Standing at the ferry in spring, clutching an expired ticket in your hand, which passenger ship should you board? Nalan just let himself immerse himself in the splendid spring, and lived a poetic and casual life with Shen Wan, filling countless freehand spaces with his gentle pen.Lushui Pavilion, Huajian Thatched Cottage, and Deshengmen Courtyard are all Nalan's secular paradises.He thought that time had already polished him to a crisp, but in fact his youth was still awake.The sadness of the past seems to disappear in spring, or evaporated by the sun. In short, he can no longer smell the sadness when he breathes.This is spring, which brings illusion to those who love to dream, coolness to those who hear the wind, and humidity to those who like rain.

This should be the happiest spring for Nalan.In March, Shen Wan brought him the whole Jiangnan.From now on, Nalan can dream in the capital, with Jiangnan by his side, within easy reach.This is the most true longing in the soul of a poet, the spring that has been missed, the fragrance that has been missed, and the unprecedented satisfaction.He really believed it forever, he had to believe it, because Shen Wan abandoned everything for him.This love is built by them brick by brick. They want to pass the courtyard wall until moss is mottled, they want to live their youth until their temples are full of wind and frost, and they want to drink a cup of tea into plain water.Nalan is Shen Wan's "Selected Dream Ci", and Shen Wan is Nalan's "Drinking Water Ci", and they depend on each other in the Ci.

In April, although Kangxi's favor was an unfulfilled official ticket, it gave Nalan unlimited expectations.Perhaps only those who have endured the suffering will understand how painful it is to wait for nearly ten years.Nalan was on the list as an all-rounder in civil and military affairs. He has the honor of the eldest son of Xiangguo, has a gentle appearance like jade, and possesses incomparable talent. However, Kangxi gave him a long nine-year guard career. He is better than anyone else. He understands Nalan's talent, but deliberately distances himself from it.Nalan has resentment in his heart, but he is on the saddle for him, lest there be any negligence.Such devotion, in exchange for some small favors, the glory that Nalan wanted was too far away.Did Kangxi really fail him?Considering Nalan's temperament, courage, talent, strategy, etc., maybe he is really not that suitable, not suitable for standing on the court and dealing with officials.The mission of Nalan's life is destined to have nothing to do with the government.

In May, the peonies shed their last flowers.Although the flowers bloom and fall normally, when the fragrance is exhausted, it means that spring will fade away.No matter how many gorgeous lives you have, if you complete the mission, you will be doomed in the end.Flowers are about to die, and there are omens, either broken by wind and rain, or the sequence of the year is approaching.When people are about to die, there are too many unpredictable accidents.Human life is like a straw rope, which is indomitable when it is tough, and vulnerable when it is fragile.It is also like a lamp, which can ignite the entire night sky when it is bright, and go out when it is lonely.

This spring was indeed a happy day in Nalan's life. He, Gu Zhenguan, Liang Peilan, Jiang Chenying and other close friends gathered in the Huajian Thatched Cottage, drank and wrote poems, and had a good time talking.After so many years of friendship, Nalan's thoughts, only they know.Now Nalan's life has finally improved, with Shen Wan and expectations.The past and the past, all fell into a thin wine glass, and drank it all down.Nalan is the youngest among many friends, but he is the one who awakened the earliest.The Buddha said that a person's talent and learning, a person's root of wisdom, lies in his understanding.Some people have gone through a long time and seen all kinds of life, but they still can't realize a simple truth.Some people only walk briefly in the world of mortals, but they can realize the mystery of fate in a speck of dust.

This night, Nalan drank his life's favorite green plum wine.Green plum, not only because of the old story between him and his cousin, but also the story of green plum wine, green plum wine, has a beautiful meaning.The past is all swallowed in a glass of wine, so that these normally refined literati also have a kind of open-mindedness of pleasure and hatred.No matter how filthy the world is, there is always an untainted soul and a pure and beautiful heart under the moonlight of Huaqing.With a calm heart, Nalan wrote a song "Song of the Night Acacia". At night, the acacia tree that Nalan planted by himself died, but the dead crabapple bloomed happily.It is said that the life of vegetation is spring sprouting and autumn wilting, and the life of human beings is birth, old age, sickness and death.It turns out that the situation can change overnight and the world can be turned upside down.Life is a gorgeous bubble, which can be obliterated by a single spray.Extreme things will turn against each other, and love will never last. It seems that there are no signs, but in fact there are dark waves.The birds sing and the swallows turn, and the colorful flowers are a matter of Shengchun, and once gone, they will never return.

Nalan was sick, sick for no reason.In the past, cold illnesses were all caused by depression, shock, and induction.But these days, every day, every moment, is full of happiness.The only reason is that the autumn of Nalan's life came earlier.He lingered in the bright spring, and the delayed passenger ship was left behind by time yesterday.Life is inherently fickle. If misfortune and good fortune could be predicted, there would not be so many tragedies in the world. Even though when Nalan was sick, Shen Wan took care of him and accompanied him, Shen Wan untied his clothes and passed all her warmth to Nalan, but the cold, the cold that penetrated into the bone marrow, the heart-piercing pain Pain came one after another.Nalan returned to his cocoon like a silkworm chrysalis, all struggles were in vain, and the space in his life was limited.For a sick and weak person, why bother to ask him to support you and smile at you.You are worried that he will suffocate to death sooner or later in the cocoon. Is it kindness to cut open his chrysalis with scissors?

Emotion is the most beautiful purgatory in the world, and not all lovers who are in love can grow old together.All blessings and karma are the accumulation of several lives, what should be asked for, and what should be returned should be returned.Nalan was entangled more and more tightly by silk brocade in his own cocoon, and when the knot was tied, maybe he would never be able to get out again in his life. The cloud on the clear mirror, the Su Zhuan is still smoked, and the two sleeves of the spring are full of weeping marks.That night, I came to the side of the lonely pillow, and the dream came back to me.

He exchanged thirty years of poetry for clear loneliness.When I was sick, I saw the beautiful woman from another life walk into the mirror, with tears on her face, leaving only a wisp of fragrance, and I don't know if it was calling him or saying goodbye.He didn't know what news fate was sending him, and he tried to find Yizhi Zaohe to question him, but he didn't even have the strength to get up.Nalan comforted Shen Wan with a smile, and told her that this cold illness was common to him, and he would be fine after a while.If he was a decadent person in the past, now Nalan is responsible, he thought, he can't die if he hasn't settled Shen Wan properly, and hasn't seen the child born.

He is not a person who is willing to fight, nor is he willing to seek.If he is alive, he will cherish the years to come, stay with the people he cares about day and night, and write a small poem together every day.If he is unlucky, he will leave calmly, reunite with the beauty who passed away, and pay off the debt he owed in this life.In these few days of trance, Nalan always dreamed that the people he loved in his life and the things that happened in his life seemed to come before his eyes.He reached out to grab something, and the world floated away like the wind.The pages of his past life have been turned over by the wind, and then torn off ruthlessly by the years. In this late spring, can he still fill in the gaps behind?

During his serious illness, it was his parents, Shen Wan, and his best friend who were most worried.Even Kangxi sent Zhongguan guards and imperial doctors many times, and there were several batches of "diagnosis and treatment" every day.With so much warmth, I don't know if it can cover his cold body.Every day, Nalan cherishes the first ray of sunshine when he wakes up in the morning.He used to like the moon all the time, but now he realizes that the sunshine is so good, the beams of light are refracted in different directions, and are entangled in thousands of ways.There is also dust permeating in the sunlight, slowly shaking and falling on the window sills, table cases, strings, and vases. It turns out that these chaotic mundane things are so nostalgic. Is it too late for him to realize?Just like Kangxi's mighty imperial favor bestowed on Nalan, did it come too late?When a person is rich enough to hold a lot of time and squander it at will, he will feel that any way of survival is torture.However, when a person is so poor that he wants to cherish even a grain of dust, he will feel that it is a temptation for everything in the world to perish together.