Home  Categories  Biographical memories  How much hate the west wind blows 

Chapter 25 Chapter 4 Lovesickness in the Bright Moon

How much hate the west wind blows 白落梅 2464Words 2018-03-16

A person's whole life is lived in the drama arranged by fate. If you ask the characters, no one knows how much time they spend as passers-by and how much time they spend as returnees.It seems that we have been walking, not because of the temptation of mountains and rivers, but because there are too many unknown promises waiting for us to go.The journey is like the wind, and we are just a small particle in the wind, maybe a dust, maybe a drop of water, maybe a flower or leaf, but eventually there will be a post station that will accommodate you and me who are wandering.Because of this, when we see a courtyard wall covered with green vines, we think it is home; when we see an ancient well mottled with moss, we think there is water; . The human heart is always soft when it is firm, and tenacious when it is fragile.Don't you know that behind the elegance is haste, and calmness is hidden in the panic.It is said that women hurt spring and men mourn autumn. Nalan is not Song Yu, but he has Song Yu's feelings.At this time, he fell ill in an unknown station, in the fall of leaves.Memories are blurred during illness, how many past events, how many passers-by, are blurred into specious shadows.But some people have already engraved it in their hearts, even if the heart lake is disturbed, he is still sure to regroup to the original appearance.Nalan was lying on the hospital bed, smelling the autumn wind, the sadness, which was worse than the pain, penetrated into the bone marrow and spread to the internal organs. "Don't think about the past with the bright moon, and know how to reduce the years." The bright moon has a heart, and it will never leave it in spring, summer, autumn and winter, but the bright moon also has hatred. If there is no hatred, the moon will be long and full.Nalan felt that he was the aging Cicada, whose gorgeous clothes had been stripped off by Sui Xu, standing on Ye's shoulder with scars, waiting for a desolation of silence.He used the remaining wings to wrap the softness in his heart, and the already vulnerable soul was even more traumatized.He can bury his head in the shell and listen to the world passing by like the wind, but he doesn't know whether his love with Shen Wan will have a future of seeing the light of day again. Back in the capital, Nalan, who had regained his health, let himself devote himself to work like a spinning top.He hoped that he could forget about Jiangnan and the face imprinted in his mind while he was busy.The same position for many years, repeating a kind of monotony and boring, has already worn out his enthusiasm.If he had any nostalgia for his official career, it was in the distant yesterday.The idle chores and frequent trips made his already weak body even more powerless.The strings of life are becoming increasingly tense, and he feels that if he does not escape, one day he will face the end of the strings being broken.Frustration in official career also has sharp lethality. The frustrated Nalan had no choice but to drink to let go. He said: "It is true that people say that fame after death is not as good as a glass of wine in life." However, after the pot of wine in Nalan's life was opened, it became weaker and weaker.One day, when it is as light as water, will he still be able to anesthetize his thoughts?The most heart-wrenching thing is the lovesickness between the two places. In the past, when he parted from his beloved wife, he would at least get together for a while, but he and Shen Wan were separated by a misty river bank, with no status, no vows, and he just left her in the south of the Yangtze River.She was left with a few volumes of thin words, a vague smiling face, and a symbol called Nalan, making her pretend to wait calmly every day.He even neglected that waiting is the last thing a woman can afford. Even if she has enough years to waste, she still can't afford to wait for an indefinite agreement. Sai Hong is gone, when will the brocade be sent?I remember pretending to hold back tears in front of the lamp, but asked if the Ming Dynasty was going to go.

The wind servant girl and the rain on the temples are not sure.Tired leaning on the magnolia to see the moon halo, it is easy to speak low and fragrant.

Feihong has passed, and its turning around means that a certain opportunity has been betrayed.It's not that there is no place to deliver the brocade book written by Nalan, but that he doesn't know how to deliver it.When he couldn't afford to give Shen Wan a happy ending, he felt uneasy.At this time, Jiangnan is a dream of tenderness, but it is wrapped in thorns, and if you want to open it, you will get hurt.Nalan is not afraid of hurting himself, but afraid of hurting others.Apart from hurting the moon every night and writing lyrics to express his feelings, Nalan didn't know what to do, and he didn't know how to take some responsibility for this love.He is a nightingale who likes the darkness but is tired of singing; he is a lotus plant that is reluctant to give up his innocence but cannot leave the mud. Lushui Pavilion, this is the only place where he can rest his soul in the capital.Over the years, whenever Nalan was bored and had nowhere to go for entertainment, he would invite his close friends to come here for a drink and a chat.His life, besides the joy of love, is the joy of friends.His prominent family and noble status have never been pride.Here, there is a pond full of lotus, whether it is blooming or withered, they are all exchanging indifferent thoughts with the wind in the pond.Nalan's thoughts also need to be exchanged, and someone needs to understand and forgive.He told his close friend Gu Zhenguan about the encounter between himself and Shen Wan in the south of the Yangtze River, trying to get him to think of a plan, how to bring Shen Wan to the capital and never leave her. In fact, they all understand that the distinction between Man and Han is a ruthless boundary.With Nalan's noble lineage, falling in love with a Han woman is already deviant.If Shen Wan were to be accepted into the capital as a concubine, Nalan Mingzhu and his wife would strongly oppose it.These are all secondary, Shen Wan is not only a Han Chinese, but also a famous prostitute in the south of the Yangtze River. Let me ask, how could a courtesan of the Qing Dynasty accept a singing girl as a member of the family?Noble blood flows from Nalan's body, whether he accepts it or not, it is an indisputable fact in this life.With Shen Wan's humbleness, it is not easy for the two of them to want the mandarin ducks to grow old and the forest birds to fly together. Nalan also wants to learn from the ancients, give up all the merits in the world, go to the Lanzhou alone, and go to the south of the Yangtze River with the smoke.In a certain wild village, he was an unnamed fisherman and lived an ordinary life with Shen Wan.Like a chivalrous man who puts down his sword, like a general who takes off his robes, like a literati who discards pen and ink, he has gone through a thousand sails and has no intention of fighting with this world of mortals.There are too many difficult things in life, which cannot be settled by drinking a few bowls of spirits; just like the grass and trees in the wasteland, they cannot be burned by setting a wildfire.The contradiction in Nalan's heart is not something that you and I can experience or understand.The name Nalan has long been engraved in the dreams of many people, he is not time, he can disappear without a trace.Even if he is so quiet that he doesn't say a word, as long as he is there, he is like a lonely bamboo in an empty valley or a lonely crane in a cold pool, so many people like him.If he left without hesitation this time, how far can the light boat on the water and the thin horse on the ancient road go? It's not that he's cowardly, but that the blade of reality is too sharp. Even if he has the determination to die with the sword and the momentum of turning the tide, he can't resist the strokes of fate.Knowing that this is a gamble that must be lost, and the time is the banker, he took the case, poured all his money into betting, and waited to lose everything. Does this mean he has courage?No betrayal? Now I know that I was wrong at the time, and my mood is desolate.Red tears are dripping down secretly, eyes full of spring breeze and nothing wrong. One generation and one couple in a lifetime, fighting to teach two places of ecstasy.Lovesickness looks at each other but does not have a blind date, who is the spring for?

After all, Nalan was weak, and before he untied the rope, he returned home in the rain.If you can't be a chivalrous man who rides horses in rivers and lakes and has a clear sense of grievances and grievances, just be a poet who dips in ink and brushes his brush with tenderness.Hiding in the beautiful and luxurious house, brewing a few thin lovesickness, not to tell the world that he is an affectionate man, but there is unspeakable helplessness in his heart.Under the blue bridge, who is keeping promises and who is breaking promises? In the south of the Yangtze River, there is an amorous woman who looks down tall buildings every day, just waiting for the person who travels a long way to pass by again one day, even if she just stays for a short time, she will be tenderly satisfied.Shen Wan allowed herself to live in seclusion in the boudoir, refusing to associate with those romantic and famous people in the past, and guarding herself like a jade for Nalan.Weeping at the sight of flowers, watching the moon hurt, all these feelings can only be put into words.She and Nalan are like a pair of birds with the same fate, holding a red bean in their mouths, and their hearts are unswerving. Shen Wan Lovesickness makes people grow old, but in fact it only lasts for one season, Shen Wan feels that she has lost her beauty.Facing the high mountains, the rivers, and the unchanging land under her feet, she swore that she would die in the south of the Yangtze River all her life.But now, she is willing to abandon the Jiangnan in her dream and this familiar city for Nalan, and give her whole heart for him.She hoped that she and Nalan could be an ordinary couple, devouring the fireworks in the world to their heart's content, no longer needing to be melancholy, how many worries there are, like a river of spring water flowing eastward.

Report