Chapter 67 passion

Chen Yinke once said that Wu Mi was romantic by nature, but he was "arrested" by the old ethics and ethics, and his feelings could not be relaxed. After a long time, he was on the verge of breaking. Exploding, it is better than ". In November 1918, Wu Mi, who was studying in the United States, received a letter from Tsinghua classmate Chen Liexun, introducing his younger sister Chen Xinyi to Wu Mi.Chen Xinyi graduated from the Complete Department of Zhejiang Women's Normal School in Hangzhou. She is 24 years old and works as a primary school teacher in Dinghai County, Zhejiang Province.Chen Liexun said in the letter that his sister had heard him talk about Wu Mi many times, had seen Wu Mi's poems in "Puzzle Magazine" and "Tsinghua Weekly", and had seen Wu Mi published in "Tsinghua Weekly" He admired Wu Mi very much and was willing to marry Wu Mi and serve him for life.After Wu Mi received the letter, she immediately replied to approve it, and at the same time asked her classmate Zhu Junyi to entrust his fiancée Mao Yanwen to investigate Chen Xinyi.

Mao Yanwen told Wu Mi after the investigation: "Ms. Chen is an old-fashioned woman, and she is most suitable to be a good wife and mother. She has dark skin, but she is not ugly. She is fluent in Chinese and has never learned Western. She seems to be very gentle. If Wu Jun wants to Ms. Chen is very suitable to marry a good wife who can run the family. If you want to marry a fashionable woman who is sociable and can speak English, you should choose another." In August 1921, Wu Mi, who had just returned to China, hurried to Hangzhou to meet Chen Xinyi.Wu and Chen fell in love at first sight, and under the arrangement of Chen's father, they went boating on the West Lake and talked happily.The next day, the two went to the West Lake again early. Wu Mi wrote in his diary: "This day's trip is more enjoyable than yesterday's trip. Family, country, life, experience, and friends can be talked about at will, and they can talk about everything... The happiness of the day is something that has not been counted in more than ten years." After 13 days, Wu Mi and Chen Xin quickly had a "flash marriage".

After Wu Mi got married, he and his wife had three daughters.Chen Xinyi is "hardworking and peaceful", "humble and obedient", he can be called a good wife and mother, but Wu Mi is not satisfied with this, he is deeply dissatisfied with her slow thinking, poor eloquence, clumsy communication and lack of literary attainments .After marriage, Wu Mi fell in love with Mao Yanwen, whom he had been in love with for a long time when he was studying in Tsinghua University.After much deliberation, Wu Mi finally decided to divorce Chen Xinyi. The marriage that had barely lasted for eight years finally came to an end.

In 1929, in order to raise divorce expenses, Wu Mi borrowed money everywhere, asked for help from all directions, and even asked Wu Fangji for debts.Wu Fangji believed that Wu Mi's ruthless abandonment of Chen Xinyi and his three young daughters was purely irresponsible.For this reason, Wu Mi almost broke up with Wu Fangji. Wu Mi herself once summed up this failed marriage in this way: "The most perfect and most admired woman in my life is a foreign fairyland (Ms. Gerbus from the United States), and the one who loves the deepest and longest is It is Helen. My old wife, Chen Xinyi, is loyal and honest, and is well-known by everyone. However, Mi was unable to love her before and after marriage. In the case of divorce, there are only moral regrets and no emotional sorrow. This is what I know. The other At that time, those who slandered Yu for divorce, and those who persuaded Yu to get back together afterward, did not know about Yu."

Regarding Wu Mi's divorce, Mao Yanwen said: "Wu Mi seems to have an imaginary woman in his mind. This woman must be as good as him in both Chinese and English, but also have a deep literary attainment, be able to sing poems with him, and be good at rhetoric. Being able to deal with his friends and colleagues, and being able to talk about the past and the present among them is not Ms Chen's specialty, so their marriage finally broke down." After the divorce, although Wu Mi and Chen Xinyi lived apart, Wu Mi still took care of Chen's life. After receiving his salary every month, he would go to Chen's residence to hand it over to Chen.Yao Wenqingzhong wrote in "Anecdotes of My Best Friend Mr. Wu Mi": "Mi Yu's late wife, Ms. Chen Xinyi, was admired for virtue and character, but respected but not loved, and eventually divorced, but still writes back letters. The friendship between husband and wife Although it is extinct, the love of a good friend is still there." Mao Yanwen also recalled: "Wu Jun is a literati and scholar, kind-hearted, cautious, with a sense of justice, a strong scholarly temperament and a bit of romance. After his divorce He is still very concerned about his ex-wife, and not only bears her and his daughter’s living expenses and education expenses, but it is rumored that he sometimes visits Ms. Chen, he is by no means a philanderer..."

Wu Mi expressed regret for her marriage with Chen Xinyi many times.When Chen Liexun persuaded, Wu Mi hesitated a lot about this marriage that he had never met, and after agreeing to the marriage, he broke the contract, but finally got married because of Tang Yongtong's words.Many years later, Wu Mi "repented too much" about his marriage. At that time, he was supposed to study abroad for five years, but because of his marriage, he only studied abroad for three years and returned home early. Mao Yanwen is the woman Wu Mi has been infatuated with all his life.Mao Yanwen is the cousin of Zhu Junyi, Wu Mi's Tsinghua classmate, and also his fiancée.When Mao Yanwen was 9 years old, his father betrothed him to the son of a friend surnamed Fang.When Mao Yanwen graduated from Zhejiang Women's Normal School, Fang's family forced him to get married.On the day of the wedding, Mao Yanwen escaped successfully.After Fang's family divorced, Mao Yanwen and his cousin Zhu Junyi were formally engaged.Zhu Junyi once solicited donations from his classmates for Mao Yanwen's divorce, so Wu Mi knew that there was Mao Yanwen, and admired Mao very much.Every time Zhu Junyi finished reading his cousin's love letter, he would show it to his good friend Wu Mi.Wu Mi admired Mao Yanwen's talent in his letters, and over time he developed feelings for Mao secretly, but due to the friendship of his classmates, he could only hide his admiration deeply in his heart.

In 1921, when Wu Mi went to Hangzhou to meet Chen Xinyi, he unexpectedly met Mao Yanwen.At that time, Mao was going to study in Beijing. Before leaving, he came to bid farewell to Chen Xinyi, a close friend in his boudoir, and met Wu Mi unexpectedly.Mao Yanwen was lively, elegant, generous and decent, with a new-style ladylike demeanor, which left a deep impression on Wu Mi. Soon after Wu Mi's marriage, Zhu Junyi moved on and proposed to dissolve the engagement with Mao Yanwen on the grounds that the marriage of close relatives would harm the next generation.Mao Yanwen had no choice but to turn to Wu Mi for help, asking Wu Mi to persuade Zhu.This persuasion also brought Wu Mi and Mao Yanwen into closer contact, and he fell in love with Mao Yanwen deeply.After Zhu and Mao broke up, Wu Mi expressed his love to Mao Yanwen, but Mao Yanwen flatly refused.What made Mao Yanwen even more disgusted was that every time Wu Mi wrote to Mao Yanwen, she would take the trouble to repeat her feelings of love gradually after reading her letter from Zhu Junyi.

At first, Wu Mi feared that the ruining of the marriage would damage her reputation, so she planned to marry Mao Yanwen as her concubine, wishing to enjoy the blessings of others.When he told Chen Yinke of his thoughts, Chen said: "Study and morality are not as good as others. This is my great shame. Marrying a wife is not as good as others, so why should I be ashamed? Marrying a wife is only a matter in life, and it is a small thing. It’s just an understatement, it’s okay to get it easily. It’s stupid to not aspire to great learning, but to seek a beautiful wife carefully!” Afterwards, Wu Mi experienced the painful struggle of leaving and not leaving, and decided Divorced Chen Xinyi.Wu Mi's divorce was unanimously criticized by friends, and Wu's father even publicly reprimanded Wu Mi: "He is ruthless, rude and lawless, and perverts the law in order to maintain the old ethics."

After Wu Mi was rejected by Mao Yanwen, he was not discouraged.While divorcing Chen Xinyi, he pursued Mao Yanwen more persistently.He expressed his willingness to sponsor Mao Yanwen to study abroad. After Mao Yanwen refused, he sent money to Mao in the name of his friend Zhang Yinlin and others.In Shanghai in the 1930s, the topic of Professor Wu Mi's unrequited love for Ms. Mao Yanwen was talked about by the tabloids for a while, and the story of Wu and Mao was well-known by the newspapers after a lot of embellishment. Wu Mi's perseverance finally moved Mao Yanwen.But when the two were discussing marriage, Wu Mi felt a little worry. He wanted to marry Mao Yanwen, but also worried that there would be disharmony after marriage. The two completely different moods made Wu Mi hesitate and worry about gains and losses.During this period, he fell in love with Chen Yangxian, a female student of Yenching University, Miss H and Ms. M, a Western woman.

In March 1931, Wu Mi, who was in Paris at the time, sent an urgent telegram to Mao Yanwen in the United States, demanding in strong terms that Mao Yanwen give up his studies, rush to Europe quickly, marry him, or break up.Some people said that he frequently issued ultimatums to Mao Yanwen, using very vicious terms.Mao Yanwen rushed to Paris.Wu Mi didn't want to get married anymore, so she got engaged instead.Mao Yanwen was extremely disappointed. She cried and said, "You should always think about me. I am an old girl in her 30s. What should I do? Could it be that our starting point was wrong?"

Wu Mi was unmoved, he said: "People are often limited by time and space, their moods change, they have no autonomy, and there is nothing they can do." Regarding this, Wu Mi said in his diary: Even though Wan Yan cried, it was not enough to move me. In his heart, he made Mi hate Yan, and even more regretted that he didn't know people before, and lost his ears with love! Wu Mi turned to envy Lu Xun and Xu Guangping's cohabitation life. He said: "Mrs. Xu Guangping is a capable and careful woman who is good at observing Lu Xun's joys, sorrows and joys, and handles them like a style. Even if Lu Xun is happy, she is willing to be directed. Yunyun. Woohoo, why is Mi’s needs so different? And Mi’s reality is much better than Lu Xun’s, but there has never been a happy encounter in his life. Is Xu Guangping the daughter of An De? It’s sad to read this.” After Wu Mi and Mao Yanwen returned from Europe, Mao Yanwen stayed in Shanghai, waiting for Wu Mi to marry him.Mao Yanwen wrote to Wu Mi and said: "Sir, you should remember the days when the two of us got along in Northeastern University. You taught at Northeastern University. If Yanwen didn't really love your husband, would you behave like visiting him at Northeastern University?" "I sent my husband out of the door, and my husband left me and walked straight on without looking back at me. I stood there until I couldn't see the disappearing figure of my husband, and then I came back alone and closed the door." In August 1933, Wu Mi went south, but his purpose was to go to Hangzhou to woo Ms. Lu Baohua. If he failed, he would go to Shanghai to continue discussing marriage with Mao.But Wu Mi's wishful thinking was in vain. Mao Yanwen was already tired of Wu Mi's love games, she said that she planned to never marry for the rest of her life, and adopted a little girl, "Go home and have a joke conversation with the girl, and she is good at dressing up, pushing a small cart and walking in the park for fun".Finally, 33-year-old Mao Yanwen married 66-year-old Xiong Xiling.When Mao Yanwen got married, he invited Wu Mi to the wedding, but Wu Mi declined on the grounds of making up poems.In the midst of despair and misery, he wrote "Mr. Wu Mi's Troubles" to relieve his inner depression. After Xiong Xiling died of illness, Wu Mi grieved deeply for Mao Yanwen. "There are so many feelings that I can't sleep all night." Wu Mi wrote a poem on the pillow, which included the line "Repentance has awakened and floating dreams".That night, Wu Mi was lingering in thoughts, sleepless all night, and dawn broke in the east. "This unprecedented catastrophe and national disaster ended here in 1937. I feel that the world is long gone, and everything is over. Yan married for less than three years, and this is the end! Life is like a novel and drama, and it really comes to an end!" Wu Mi began to pursue Mao Yanwen again , Mao Yanwen's heart is like a rock in the face of this major change in the impermanence of the world. In 1949, Mao Yanwen left the mainland for Taiwan. After that, Wu Mi never heard of his beloved Mao Yanwen again. Wu Mi's love for Mao Yanwen lasted his whole life.Wu Mi never shy away from his love for Mao Yanwen, and even talked openly with students in class and wrote it into his poems.He often talks with He Lin, Pu Jiangqing and others about his regrets and contradictions.Many unnamed love poems in Wu Mi's "Poetry Collection" were written for Mao Yanwen. On August 20, 1943, Wu Mi, who knew his destiny, wrote a five-character long poem "Fifty Self-Shou" in Kunming. Also nostalgic. The world is full of sound and books, and the shadow of the gods appears in the dream. Pity Yi is so miserable, and the widow becomes lonely. The lonely boat is flooded, and the demons dance in the red county. There is no time for reunion, and there is no time to think about it. My love Yong Fujun, firm and sincere, don't turn around. Hug each other and cry goodbye, and return to the Buddha Hall with peace of mind. Even this life is also saved, and there are tears like hail." Wu Mi's love for Mao Yanwen is a platonic love. On August 1, 1936, Wu Mi reflected on his love in his diary. He said: "For ordinary people in China, they regard love as the satisfaction of the flesh and the skill of competition, but I don't know Mi. Words of love....True lovers are all eminent in emotion and wisdom, noble in morality and deeds, the favorite of God, and the hero of mankind. Love is extremely pure, benevolent, wise, and sincere, so Mi not only loves Yan (referring to Mao Yanwen) Sacrificing everything, I can’t get rid of it for life, and I regard it as the expression of the highest morality, the truest emotion, the most vigorous struggle, and the strongest interest in my life. Others regard it as a shameful and ridiculous wrong behavior, but I regard it as a glorious history of praise and tears. There is always an aftertaste, and the production of poetry and prose is also abundant. If there is no such period in my life, my life will be more dull, more depressed and troubled, and I will die early. It's beyond love." In the early 1960s, Wu Mi asked a teacher from the Art Department of Southwest Normal University to draw a portrait of Mao Yanwen based on the photo, and hung it on the wall, facing each other day and night. However, at the end of the 1960s, Mao Yanwen, who lived in seclusion in Taiwan, wrote the book "Past Events". In this autobiographical memoir, when she mentioned Wu Mi, she was like a friend who did not have a deep relationship. Not a word was mentioned.Judging from the narration in the book, she not only doesn't love Wu Mi, but also has some disgust for him. Mao Yanwen recalled the marriage between Wu Mi and Chen Xinyi in just over a thousand words in the book "Past Events", and also talked about the reasons for his rejection of Wu Mi's marriage proposal: "Since Helen (Mao Yanwen) and Zhu (Jun Yi) divorced After the engagement, she tried her best to avoid contact with things or people related to Zhu, which was an inextricable emotion psychologically. Wu is Zhu's best friend, how could Helen accept his pursuit? Helen couldn't bear it especially Yes, almost every time Wu writes to Helen, he has to narrate that since a certain year, he has read her letters from Zhu Chu and her gradual fantasies, etc. Doesn’t this make Helen even more disgusted?” According to an article written by Mr. Shen Weiwei, who has been to Taiwan and had the honor to visit Ms. Mao Yanwen, when he mentioned to Mao Yanwen the deep love Wu Mi had for her, the 102-year-old Ms. Mao Yanwen said flatly: "He is unilateral. Yes, I'm a nerd." When asked further, she kept saying "boring, boring". Wu Mi is very affectionate. Judging from his diary, since his early years, whenever he met a woman, he must comment in the diary.The women he has expressed his love for include Chen Yangxian, Ouyang Caiwei, Li Xianchu, Zhang Jing (Zhang Qingchang's sister, named Qinghui), the female students of Yenching University, H, an American female student he met in France, and a Tsinghua girl code-named K. There is also Mao Yanwen, the woman he has been in love with all his life.Wu Mi has a spiritual admiration for these women. K, a female graduate of Tsinghua University, frequently appeared in Wu Mi's diary in the 1930s. Wu Mi often dated her, had meals and tours with her, and while passing letters between fish and geese, they often made love calls on the phone, just like a pair of lovers.Another woman who often appears in Wu Mi's diary during this period is Jiangzhu.Jiang Zhu, formerly known as Zhu Chongqing, was born in Tianjin and lived in Beijing in the 1930s. She lived with her widowed mother and lived in a very poor family.Because she likes wearing red clothes, she called herself Jiangzhu. In the autumn of 1935, Jiang Zhu taught from Wu Mi.Before the outbreak of the Anti-Japanese War, Wu Mi had a close relationship with these two women. Wu Mi also had a long and intimate relationship with Ms. Lu Baohua mentioned above.Lu Baohua is a talented woman in Zunyi. Wu Mi appreciates Lu Baohua's literary talent very much, and highly praises Lu Baohua's new collection of poems "Blood and Tears": "The author's cry when he is in pain and sorrow. The sincerity is obvious, and it is extremely difficult to get."Later, Wu Mi showed love to Lu Baohua, but Lu declined, and promised to treat her as brother and sister; later Lu turned to Wu to propose marriage, and Wu also insisted that it is better to get along with brother and sister.The two once sang together in poems. Wu Mi wrote the sentence "I have promised to be brothers and sisters today, and I would like to form a husband and wife alliance in the next life" in the tenth song of "Poems of Kongxuan", and the second song of "The Original Rhyme of Brother He Yu" by Lu Baohua In it, it also responds with "if the boatman rides the tide and has faith, Floating is willing to join the sea and the European Union". Cao Juren recorded an interesting story about Wu Mi in the article "Mr. Beard—Wu Mi": when he was in Southwest Associated University, Wu Mi once pursued a girl.One day, he went to visit the girl as usual, and it happened that the girl was out, and the female classmate in the same room was there. He heard the knock on the door, and asked, "Who?" Mi is here!" The female classmate heard the words and replied: "She's not at home." Wu continued to imitate the tone of a young student and said: "Please tell her to come back tomorrow, and Wu Mi is going!" The female classmate said very bluntly: "I hate it." I hate it." Wu Mi replied, "How dare you! How dare you!" In June 1953, Wu Mi, who was almost in his twilight years, ushered in his second marriage. He married Zou Lanfang, a former law graduate of Chongqing University and in his 20s. Zou Lanfang was born in a landlord family, and she completely relied on the help of her two elder brothers who served in the Sichuan Army of the Kuomintang to study in Chongqing.After liberation, the two elder brothers were suppressed by the Communist Party because of their participation in the armed rebellion, leaving behind several orphans who were left alone.Zou Lanfang shoulders the burden of raising her elder brother's orphan.But because of her bad background and severe tuberculosis, the situation was very difficult. When Zou Lanfang saw Wu Mi's "thought review" published in "Xinhua Daily", she took the initiative to write to Wu Mi, claiming that she admired his moral articles and worshiped him devoutly.After Wu Mi replied, Zou Lanfang came to ask for advice, and then often sewed and washed for the teacher as a student, giving some comfort to Wu Mi in his later years.Later, Wu Mi married Zou Lanfang. Speaking of this marriage, Wu Mi once said to his good friend Yao Wenqing: "It's not that Mi failed the original intention (he once swore: to love Mao Yanwen, he would never remarry for life), in fact, this woman forced me, so I had to do it. With this female knowledge, If you don't understand English, you can't understand Chinese; in terms of appearance, that's all." After marriage, Wu Mi kept complaining, the teacher-student love made him unable to hold his head up, and Zou Lanfang was in extremely poor health, and Wu Mi still needed to support Zou Lanfang's brother's survivors.Wu Mi once said to a friend, this is not the love of Twilight Love, it is really treating Lan Fang's illness and raising Lan Fang's family of nine. After only three years of marriage, Zou Lanfang died of a lung disease and passed away.Wu Mi was very sad. When eating, an extra pair of bowls and chopsticks must be placed on the dining table to prevent his deceased wife from being a hungry ghost in the underworld; when watching a movie, he must buy two tickets to vacate the seat next to him. accompany. After Zou Lanfang's death, Wu Mi did not get rid of the big family members of the Zou family. He continued to use most of his salary to support Zou Lanfang's nephews and nieces.This support was not interrupted until after the "Cultural Revolution" began when Wu Mi was too busy to take care of herself.One of Zou Lanfang's nephews, after her death, lived with Wu Mi for a long time under the pretext of taking care of Wu Mi.A professor of the Western Normal University couldn't get used to it, and urged him to quit the diner. After the "Cultural Revolution" began, this "eater" left by himself.At that time, a young teacher at the Southwest Normal University said angrily: In the past ten years, most of the salary of a second-level professor has been spent by the daughter of a big landlord and the sons of several reactionary Kuomintang officers. Jiang Yongzhen once commented on Wu Mi's love so jokingly: "When Wu Mi talks about love, it is obscenity to talk but not to practice. Like Wu Mi, he only rehearses his love for women in diaries and letters; he practices and talks, like Xu Zhimo. , it’s immersion, it’s true love; if you don’t talk about practice, just like Hu Shi, it’s true obscenity.”