Chapter 4 third chapter

In 1958, Zhang Ailing's mother, Huang Yifan, died in England.Her relics were transported across oceans to Zhang Ailing's home.Looking at the big wooden box, as long as she opened it, she could see her mother, but Eileen Chang hesitated so much.She opened the box, as if she had secretly pushed open a door when she was a child.That little Zhang Ailing stuck her head in, and Huang Yifan waved to her.Zhang Ailing laughed sharply and ran away in a flash.Huang Yifan sat in front of the desk in a daze, lowered her head and continued to color the photos. She dyed aqua blue on Zhang Ailing's clothes, as if to touch the life of a child, so that she would be far away from this gloomy world, and the children in the photos were so vivid live up.

Now that photo is in Zhang Ailing's hands, her eye sockets are getting wet.She seemed to see the young Huang Yifan sitting in front of the makeup mirror combing her hair, her brows were deeply furrowed, and wearing all those jewelry couldn't make her shine.The three-year-old himself walked around his mother, tiptoed, and tried hard to open one small box after another.She saw the two small sparkling diamonds on her mother's earrings, her hair combed into a beautiful S shape, and she suddenly lay down on her mother, buried her head deeply in her arms, and felt that her mother was so beautiful.

Zhang Ailing leaned on Ruihe's shoulders, she fell back to her childhood, to all the memories of her mother, she couldn't pretend that she was a stranger in this world.She cried so sadly, this is all her missing, loss and mourning for her mother from childhood to adulthood. She fell back into the memory where time and space overlapped. Eileen Chang's memories began in 1923 in the dusty opera garden in Tianjin.The loud sound of gongs and drums, the dark atmosphere around, the red curtain in the box, the people passing tea and snacks passing in and out, the melon seed shells under the feet, and the big painted face on the stage, a scolding made Zhang Ailing's eyes widen in shock. It's plump.She was three years old and could sit in a chair by herself.Mother Huang Yifan chatted with her friends, they were serene, friendly and full of interest.This is one of the few happy times in Eileen Chang's life.

The friend babbled suddenly: "That's not..." Someone bumped her with an elbow, and she suddenly woke up and stopped talking.Huang Yifan followed her friend's gaze and looked downstairs. As soon as a man and a woman sat down, her expression changed immediately.Zhang Ailing looked down ignorantly, the man looked like her father, and she was dragged back by her mother.Her head was pressed tightly against her mother's chest, as if she could hear her mother's thoughts directly. She could feel her mother's chest rising and falling slightly, even the shadow of sobbing.

There has been no peace at home since then.Zhang’s house in Tianjin is an old-fashioned garden house, with green creepers on the wall, cool and quiet, Huang Yifan’s shouts were heard far away, even Zhang Ailing in the yard heard it.The mother was almost hoarse: "What are you? Why are you embarrassing me!" Father Zhang Zhiyi's voice was very weak: "It's nothing, just listen to the nonsense people outside!" "Am I, Huang Yifan, blind? Look in the mirror and see your own virtue of lying!" Zhang Ailing, who was playing in the yard, turned over and ran into the house, ignoring what the servant called her from behind.She ran upstairs in one breath, with her small face between the thin cracks in the door of her parents' bedroom, she saw Huang Yifan sobbing on the brass bedpost.Zhang Zhiyi approached her with soft words: "Why are you crying? It's okay! Don't cry!" Huang Yifan pushed him away with one hand: "Get lost! Go find your old man!"

Zhang Zhiyi probably had nothing to do, and was also annoyed, so he suddenly roared abruptly: "Which man can bear face all day long?" He opened the door, and the little Zhang Ailing stood face to face with him. Zhang Zhiyi was stunned for a moment, and walked around she went out.Huang Yifan lay down on the bed and cried bitterly.Zhang Ailing did not go there, she was still too young to know what comfort is.She saw her father stand on the stairs for a while before going downstairs, thinking that her father was coming back to comfort her mother, but in the end he just wiped the dust off his shoes with his trouser legs, and she stood between the two and watched quietly.

My parents' marriage ended in almost three years.Mother Huang Yifan and sister-in-law Zhang Maoyuan went to study in England together.They are like-minded, and their relationship is closer than that of sisters.Huang Yifan didn't want to leave the two immature children, but wanted to use this to raise the heaviest protest to the painful marriage.Before leaving, her son Zhang Zijing was crying on the servant's body, and she also cried when she heard it.Zhang Ailing didn't quite understand, nor was she very sad. She knew that something big was going on, and her personality became more concentrated and calm.

As soon as Huang Yifan left, Zhang Ailing was dragged by Zhang Zhiyi to meet her auntie Laoba.The eighth child liked Zhang Ailing very much. She took out candies and asked Zhang Ailing: "Do you like Auntie?" Zhang Ailing nodded seriously: "I like it!" Yan Deng's father and eighth aunt.Then her eyes fell on the chime clock on the cabinet, that pink painted clock, she had never seen it before.This somewhat avoids embarrassment.At a young age, she knew that what she just said was a bit of a betrayal of her mother.She strained her ears to hear the two of them chattering on the cigarette couch.

Lao Ba looked at Zhang Ailing and said, "This kid is smart! Just like my mother!" Zhang Zhiyi jokingly said, "What does it look like? It's your daughter!" Lao Ba laughed at himself and said, "I'm so lucky!" Zhang Ailing didn't pay attention to what they said, and her small hands boredly touched the tablecloth with dark patterns, pulled the tassels beside the table, and stared curiously at Lao Ba's pair of slippers decorated with broken beads on the floor beside the cigarette couch.She was eager to put her feet in and try it out. Old Ba said generously, "Go and wear it!"

Zhang Zhiyi hurriedly stopped and said, "Don't call her messy!" Lao Ba said tolerantly: "Girls like it!" As soon as Zhang Ailing heard it, she couldn't wait to put on the beaded slippers, and excitedly kicked the slippers back and forth in the yard.Under the sun, all incongruous colors and shadows are just the background of this world, and she enjoys herself in the dazzling and bright happiness. As soon as Zhang Ailing's mother left, her father recruited the concubine into the house. The Zhang family hall lost its former tranquility and was filled with smog all day long, turning into a lively theater.Lao Ba greeted guests in the living room, and used Zhang's living room as her guest house.Zhang Ailing liked the noisy atmosphere at that time. She moved a small bench and hid behind the curtain of a room, and secretly opened a gap to watch two childish girls sing.She paid special attention to the gestures of the two girls and followed suit.At this time, the old servant He Gan came in with a vegetable bowl, and seeing Zhang Ailing's seriousness in every move, he was angry and said, "Kids, don't come here, you won't learn well!"

Zhang Ailing raised her face and asked back: "What's wrong? My aunt gave me cake yesterday!" He Gan scolded angrily: "Just buy your mouth! Little heartless, forget about your mother!" Zhang Ailing gave He Gan a blank look, and ignored her no more.There was a burst of applause from the main room, someone threw out a handful of reward money, and the two singing girls bent down to pick it up hastily.A copper coin rolled towards Zhang Ailing like a small hot wheel, and stopped when it touched her feet. She picked it up quickly, feeling very excited.Later, she saw one of the singing girls turning around to look for the copper coin. Seeing that the copper coin fell into Zhang Ailing's hands, she didn't say a word, but looked at her pitifully with a pair of big eyes.Zhang Ailing spread her chubby hands and handed the copper coin to the girl.At this time, she didn't know how important money was in her troubled life. Zhang Zhiyi didn't just indulge his children without discipline. When he was in a good mood, he often asked Zhang Ailing to recite ancient poems and essays. In his bones, he believed that girls should read some books, and being knowledgeable and sensible is the demeanor that a lady should have. On this day, Zhang Ailing, with two lines of tears on her face, stood in front of the cigarette couch and recited Tang poems in a low voice: "This is a shabby room, but my virtue is sweet, the moss marks are green on the steps, and the grass is green in the curtain..." Zhang Ailing was stuck, and couldn't think of the next sentence.Zhang Zhiyi was puffing smoke, frowned slightly, and reprimanded unhappily: "I can't even memorize a "Humble Room Inscription"!" Lao Ba, who was lying on the side, persuaded: "Okay! Let's go play! If you don't engage in fame and fame, you don't care about memorizing these old sesame seeds and rotten millet!" Zhang Zhiyi was woken up and said to Zhang Ailing: "Go and call your brother." Zhang Ailing took the book and fled as if she had been pardoned, and told her younger brother to suffer.Then, she played on the swing in the yard.After a while, the younger brother came out of the room rubbing his eyes and crying. Zhang Ailing sympathized with him in her heart, and said, "Don't cry! Let me swing! Don't dare? Stupid thing!" The swing was flying very high, and Zhang Ailing's eyes were looking at the sky, a place she seemed unable to reach.The younger brother, Zhang Zijing, leaned against the pillar and stood aside, her tears still wet, watching her as she flew up and down like a butterfly. Easy to get in and fast to get out.When Lao Ba quarreled with Zhang Zhiyi, he smashed his head with a spittoon in a fit of anger, so Zhang Zhiyi asked some respectable relatives to come forward and drive Lao Ba out of the house.Lao Ba is not the kind of gentle, courteous and frugal woman, she has to strive for everything, so she had to be carried out of the door, she jumped and cried and scolded: "You have taken advantage of it, now you want to drive me away ? You goddamn, wolf-hearted thing, you are done with Zhang's family! I will curse you like this! I don't believe your conscience can be at peace!" Zhang Zhiyi sat in the living room with gauze wrapped around his head, with a gloomy expression on his face, Not a word.Zhang Ailing followed several servants to look out from the window on the second floor. Everyone else felt satisfied, but she was not in the mood of gloating. She was a little confused. After the old eighth left, Zhang Zhiyi let himself down, and his drug addiction gradually reached the verge of death where he had to take morphine.At this time, the Zhang family had moved back to Shanghai from Tianjin, all to welcome Huang Yifan and Zhang Maoyuan back.That was a really long wait.For Zhang Ailing, it was like a fairy going down to save the world! For Zhang Ailing, who is seven or eight years old, it makes no difference whether she lives in a mansion or a Shikumen.No matter where he lived, the curtains were closed tightly in the house, and the sky was dark, and his father lay on the bed and puffed clouds as usual.In the autumn of this year, Zhang Zhiyi decided to give up the drug with a new look when his wife came back, but the continuous autumn rain made him depressed and aching all over.He was sitting on a thick rattan chair on the balcony, with his head up, a wet white towel covering his forehead, his feet soaked in a footbath filled with cold water, humming and muttering to himself.Outside the window is the torrential rain as thick and white as beef tendon. Zhang Ailing drew a paper doll figure in ancient costume on a desk in the house, and her younger brother stood beside her, staring timidly at the balcony outside the house.Zhang Ailing hummed a song without a tune, as if this could snatch away her father's groans. After a while, Zhang Ailing pushed the drawn paper figurine in front of her younger brother and said, "Okay! This is for you to color." The younger brother heaved a sigh of relief, finally had some work to do, and hurriedly immersed himself in coloring.Zhang Ailing was directing her younger brother to paint. She took the time to sneak a few glances at her father on the balcony, trying her best to conceal the great fear in her heart, and waited for the dawn when her mother came back. Zhang Zijing seemed to see what was on her sister's mind, and asked expectantly: "When will Mom come back?" Zhang Ailing was a little annoyed for some reason, and said harshly, "Don't ask! If you keep asking, she will be annoyed, and she won't come back!" Zhang Zijing As soon as he heard that he might not come back, tears welled up in his eyes, the bean-like tears couldn't contain them, and fell on the paper with a patter.Zhang Ailing's little costume figure drawn with ink and pen was immediately blurred by tears.At this time, Zhang Zhiyi's groans outside the house had reached the level of howling.Zhang Ailing stared at her younger brother, and she couldn't bear to talk about him anymore. When my mother came back, the bright sunshine illuminated every corner of the house.They moved into the garden house from Shikumen, and the house suddenly became bright and spacious, so naturally a lot of new furniture had to be added.Zhang Ailing looked at her mother with her arms around her in admiration, commanding the employer with determination, as if the country had a new master and a new opportunity. Zhang Ailing mischievously fell into a fluffy duvet that had just been furnished in the new room. The bright yellow and warm quilt cover smelled like the windows of an English department store. She sniffed greedily and embraced everything tightly. Zhang's living room suddenly changed from the previous atmosphere of a theater to a Western-style salon atmosphere.Opera was playing on the gramophone, and English afternoon tea was on the living room table.Huang Yifan laughed and talked about Ou Lu's anecdotes with his sister-in-law and friends. Zhang Ailing leaned aside, and when the adults laughed, she laughed too. She was really happy.She loves every small pattern of the western-style dress on her body and the bow on the cuffs; her mother's slightly raised little finger when serving tea; when her aunt walked like an English gentleman, the bright light in her mother's eyes shone when she smiled.All of this, she likes. Of course, she also saw his father Zhang Zhiyi sitting in a corner of the living room fidgeting. Although he also had a smile on his face, he was completely out of place.Zhang Ailing seemed to want to take revenge on her father, or to prove to her mother that she was on her side, so she smiled even more happily.She is immersed in the time and space so close to her mother, and she has a submissive emotion towards her mother.In the eyes of the young Zhang Ailing, the mother is distant and mysterious!The mother came and went in her world several times, and every time she appeared, she arranged or decided her fate to some extent. Because of Zhang Ailing's going to a Western-style primary school, Zhang Zhiyi and his wife had another big quarrel.Zhang Zhiyi insisted that Western learning was nothing more than singing and dancing for socializing, and he attributed his wife's rebelliousness to this.Huang Yifan refused to give an inch. She felt that her husband's ideas were so outdated that they should be thrown away as garbage. Zhang Zhiyi became furious and shouted, "Didn't I ask my husband to teach them? You left the child and left, what kind of mother did you do?" When you come back, take the child to the wrong side, and if Xiaoying wants to go your way, I will break her leg first!" After hearing this, Huang Yifan felt hopeless and cold in her heart. She asked numbly, "Why didn't you break my leg first?" Zhang Zhiyi looked at his wife blankly, with an unfamiliar fear in his eyes. He became more and more nervous in front of her. Getting smaller and smaller. Huang Yifan finally won the fight, but also lost the last bit of respect for her husband.After helping Zhang Ailing to arrange her study, and giving her the English name Eileen, Huang Yifan left again.This time she settled the divorce, got rid of all the burdens, and gained the freedom of the sea and the sky. In the middle of the night, Zhang Ailing held a photo album in her hand and stared blankly at the photos of her mother. She was a little thirsty when she talked.Ruihe stood up and went to the kitchen to make tea. He put the steaming teacup on the desk, retracted the warm blanket, and put Zhang Ailing's feet on his lap. Zhang Ailing asked apologetically, "Are you tired?" Ruihe smiled and shook his head: "Not at all, I like to hear it. You have never said so much about yourself, and I don't want to miss it." Zhang Ailing pointed to a woman in the photo and said: "This is my grandmother, she is Li Hongzhang's daughter!" Rui He raised his eyebrows and asked, "The famous official in the late Qing Dynasty?" Zhang Ailing said thoughtfully: "He married his daughter to a man nineteen years older than her, a defeated general!" Ruihe thought about it playfully, with a naughty and special smile on his face: "A defeated general. This is like our story!" Zhang Ailing didn't have such associations, she just immersed herself in the yellowed old photos, and murmured: "They are very happy! I have always wanted to write their stories. My mother was also from an official family, and her background is even more serious. Twists and turns! My maternal grandmother was a country girl who was bought by others to pass on the family line and give birth to children. The newlywed husband died shortly after she became pregnant. When the child was born, all the people in the family gathered together, as if the family’s life and death were on the same night. Mr. Next The girl was the mother, and the eldest wife passed out on the spot. A few minutes later, the midwife pulled out another boy from the belly of the country woman. The woman saved the family and died not long after. She made her greatest contribution, but nothing wasted What in this world. My mother has her blood, so she believes that there is nothing impossible in this world, and miracles will always happen." Ruihe listened to Zhang Ailing's story, looked at those yellowed photos, and said with emotion: "Photo graphs area novel..." Zhang Ailing was stunned upon hearing this, and stared blankly at the misty blue morning light outside the window.Her writing of novels is nothing more than her camera-like mind, which captures too many moments in life, and there is a story behind every moment.In her stories, there is always her pair of eyes to see the world, she sees all living beings, and she also sees herself.While she rarely tells her story, you know she's there. In 1934, Zhang Ailing was fourteen years old and studied at St. Mary's Girls' School. In spring in Shanghai, the sycamore trees on the streets turn green overnight.On a sunny afternoon, a jingling double-decker bus passed through this green alley. In the tram, the girl Zhang Ailing stretched out half of her body, reaching out to pick up the sycamore leaves on the treetops. The world at your fingertips.Her article was published in the "Fengzao" school magazine again, and the taste of happiness made her smile on her back, and the cars jingled, jingled... leading to a future full of magical flavors. Zhang Ailing, who is in the developmental stage, is a little embarrassed because she is thin and long, which is a bit abrupt and stands out from the crowd, so her expression seems to be at a loss as if she is always sorry for taking up too much space.She wears the same plain long cheongsam as her classmates, and has short ear-length hair, but she has an extra pair of glasses, which adds a little trouble to her. The glasses are often forgotten in various strange places. Zhang Ailing's best friend at school was Zhang Rujin. The two watched American movies in the dark cinema on Xiafei Road, and they held hands tightly when they saw scenes of life and death.Zhang Rujin was about to cry most of the time, while Zhang Ailing was busy watching, and at the same time hugged her shoulders to comfort her.Zhang Rujin wondered that Zhang Ailing didn't even shed a tear. Zhang Ailing innocently explained: "I'm too busy! I have to check the subtitles, I have to watch the camera, and I have to judge the acting skills... Sometimes the supporting role is more difficult than the leading role, and the acting is even better!" Zhang Rujin prefers Zhang Ziping's novels, but Zhang Ailing thinks that Zhang Ziping lives up to his name and has mediocre qualifications!She said a little meanly: "Writing is always so bad, and I just hum when I can't finish talking. Only Zhang Henshui's works of the Mandarin Duck and Butterfly School are up to the standard." Zhang Ailing's background has always aroused the curiosity of her classmates, and she is subconsciously proud of it. She likes to be pointed at by others, which makes her more worthy of the name in this aristocratic girls' school.For the anecdote that her great-grandfather Li Hongzhang married his daughter to the defeated general to fill in the house, she only admired it, just like what she said to Zhang Rujin: "I don't think my great-grandfather is a fool! I would like to believe that my grandmother treated my grandfather very well." From respect to love, to pity and pity! Think about how they are in their twenties, and they can write martial arts novels together, invent recipes, listen to the rain and appreciate chrysanthemums-at least I have never seen such a thing with my parents, but they have fights! Fortunately, they are divorced and can't get along with each other!" Eileen Chang was indifferent to her parents' divorce, but she couldn't hide the impact of her parents' marriage breakdown on her.The fragile vitality of her father and younger brother made her faintly disgusted, and she couldn't help but feel pity.Mother is far away in a foreign country and out of reach.She is almost afraid to be happy!After being happy, there will be lightning strikes!So every second counts on her happiness! In Eileen Chang's eyes, the most romantic thing is to walk side by side with her good friend Zhang Rujin in the lanes in the afternoon, talking about life ideals.Zhang Rujin likes to say: "I want to write. I want to be like Bing Xin. I can write poems, prose, and novels." Zhang Ailing said with fascination: I want to draw cartoons, and I use the style of Chinese painting.I think that is very strange to foreigners, I want to study in England, I want to travel around the world, wear the most fancy clothes, have my own house in Shanghai, I want to be more in the limelight than Lin Yutang! Zhang Rujin said with a smile: "Your wish is simply a bunch of candied haws!" The two often chatted in such a daze and lost their way. After divorcing Huang Yifan, Zhang Zhiyi began to smoke more and more, and later developed to the point where only morphine could control his drug addiction.Zhang Ailing was at a loss for her father who was on the verge of death.On this day, Zhang Zhiyi's drug addiction broke out, and he twitched on the bed as if he had been shocked by an electric shock.Zhang Zijing stood by the bed in panic, and Zhang Ailing secretly called her aunt.Zhang Zhiyi howled like a ghost: "Hurry up! Give me an injection." The hired injector standing aside picked up the syringe and took morphine, and was about to prick Zhang Zhiyi's arm when his aunt Zhang Maoyuan rushed in with a leather bag and medical staff.She rushed forward, pulled the man aside, and cursed bitterly: "You'd better die like this! Take him away!" The medical staff came to lift Zhang Zhiyi, but he groaned loudly: "Don't touch me! My whole body hurts!" Zhang Maoyuan snorted and said: "If you know the pain, you can still be saved!" After she finished speaking, she asked Zhang Ailing to take good care of her younger brother, wait for her to settle in the nursing home for Zhang Zhiyi, and arrange them later. Like a whirlwind, my aunt took away my father who was on the verge of death.Zhang Ailing and her younger brother looked at each other, feeling like the sky was falling.In the afternoon, the room was suffocatingly quiet, and Eileen Chang tried her best to be calm. She bent over the table and wrote something to pass the difficult time.Zhang Zijing cautiously walked over to the table, and asked in a low voice, "What are you writing?" Zhang Ailing replied without even raising her head, "Writing." Zhang Zijing pleaded: "You write a letter to ask mom to come back!" Zhang Ailing said calmly: "She will not come back, they are already divorced!" Zhang Ailing's voice was too cold and flat, and she felt a little uneasy after she finished speaking. She glanced at her younger brother and saw him staring out the window in a daze, with tears on his face.She suddenly felt distressed, put down her pen, and looked at her brother sympathetically. Fortunately, Zhang Ailing didn't stay at home for a long time. She was studying in a boarding school, so she came back to take a look at it on weekends.A deserted and lonely home is not much better than a tomb. Although there are many rules and regulations in the school, there is still warmth and happiness with my friend Zhang Rujin.Especially on rainy and thundering nights, they hid in a bed and whispered like little mice grinding their teeth.From time to time, blue lightning flickered outside the window, followed by rumbling thunder. Zhang Rujin trembled and said, "I'm afraid of thunder!" Eileen Chang said: "It's okay if it starts! I'm afraid of lightning, I don't know what will follow?" As soon as she finished speaking, there was a burst of lightning and thunder. The two were so scared that they held hands tightly, wanting to seek strength and support from each other. Little do they know that fear is more contagious. Zhang Ailing took a breath, relieved her emotions, and then said: "I am also afraid of being happy! When I am happy, I will be struck by lightning!" Zhang Rujin shook her head: "You are too pessimistic!" Zhang Ailing said firmly: "No! Because of this, every second counts for my happiness! Look! This is coming!" At this time, the nun came to patrol the house with a flashlight.Zhang Rujin didn't have time to go back to her bed, so she could only hide in Zhang Ailing's quilt. Her bulging bed was disguised with clothes.A snapshot of the nun's flashlight came over, just as someone was talking in sleep, reciting English words aloud, and the nun rushed over to shake her to wake her up. , The two were muffled in bed and dared not laugh out loud. The school will soon be on summer vacation, Zhang Ailing bids farewell to her friend Rujin.She watched the others happily being picked up by her family, and she was not happy at all. She was afraid of going back to her father's lifeless home. Zhang Zhiyi came back from the hospital and recuperated at home.He had quit drugs and had no strength in his body, so he could only lie on the bed and read a book.Zhang Ailing poked her head in, holding a newspaper in her hand, and sat down beside the bed.Zhang Zhiyi asked curiously: "What?" Eileen Chang said cautiously: "I have run a newspaper." Zhang Zhiyi put down the book, took the newspaper and flipped through it, and asked in surprise, "You made it up yourself?" Zhang Ailing nodded: "I also drew the illustrations. The school published a few old articles and put them up. The chef waited for Wanglaowu restaurant!" She said with a playful smile on her face. Zhang Zhiyi had fun while reading it, and said as if showing his skills: "It's not easy to run a newspaper! It's also fortunate that I gave you a good foundation in literacy, and now it's useful. Let me read it slowly." After Zhang Zhiyi finished speaking, he took off his glasses and was lost in thought, as if he was thinking about something in his heart. Zhang Ailing didn't dare to walk away, so he sat beside him.The evening sun just shone in, revealing the thick floating dust on the mirror of the cabinet.The old clock is ticking and dragging the heavy sunset.Everything is sluggish and dull. Zhang Zhiyi pondered for a while, then said, "When I get my body back on track, I'll do something!" Zhang Ailing didn't know what her father was thinking, and she didn't know how to answer the conversation.Suddenly Zhang Zhiyi's eyes became focused, and he looked at her intently and asked, "Have you heard from your mother?" Zhang Ailing nodded. Zhang Zhiyi asked again: "How is she?" Zhang Ailing replied hesitantly: "She...is okay, she is still in France." Her tone was as understated as possible, so as not to touch her father too deeply. Zhang Zhiyi seemed to be probing, but also asked as if to cheer himself up: "I want to write a letter to her, what do you think?" Zhang Ailing said calmly: I asked my aunt for the address! Zhang Zhiyi felt a little flustered, and murmured to himself: "Think again, I'll think again!" Her father flinched again, and Eileen Chang felt a deep-rooted despair at his lifeless inaction.