Chapter 10 Section 10

This is the day before the release of the university entrance examination results. Jiang Yanrong paced up and down the room, restless.Tomorrow, her fate will be decided. She can't believe that she can pass the exam, and she doesn't believe that she will fail the exam. This unresolved situation makes her anxious.Mrs. Jiang was drawing, and Jiang Yanrong's uneasiness infected her, and she damaged three sheets of paper in a row.She looked at Jiang Yanrong, and the irritability on the latter's face made her speak: "Don't run around in the room, anyway, I'll know everything tomorrow!"

"Well," Jiang Yanrong responded sullenly, and suddenly said: "Mom, I'll go out for a while." "Going out again?" Mrs. Jiang looked at Jiang Yanrong suspiciously: "You go out every day, what exactly are you going out for?" "Look for Zhou Ya'an!" Jiang Yanrong said. "Looking for Zhou Ya'an every day? Do you and Zhou Ya'an have something to talk about? Why do you always go to her and she doesn't come to you?" Mrs. Jiang asked, looking sharply at Jiang Yanrong. Recently, Jiang Yanrong's actions made her full suspicion.

"It's those words. I'll go see a movie with her." "Watching a movie again? How many movies have you watched?" "What's going on, mom, it's like interrogating a prisoner!" Jiang Yanrong said with her lips pouted. "Yan Rong," Mrs. Jiang said, "Two days ago, Mr. Hu, who was teaching at the Provincial X Middle School, said he saw you in X Middle School. What did you do?" Jiang Yanrong's heart beat violently, but she said calmly: "Oh, Zhou Ya'an and I went to see Kang Nan once. He is our tutor. Now he has transferred to the provincial × middle school to teach!"

"Do you often go to see him?" Mrs. Jiang stared at Jiang Yanrong and asked. "No." Jiang Yanrong's face was burning hot, and her heart was beating even harder. She turned her eyes away, looked elsewhere and said hesitantly, "I only went once or twice." "Yan Rong," Mrs. Jiang said with a sullen face, "a girl, you must be careful about your own behavior. You must know that gossip is scary. Kang Nan is a male teacher, and you are a female student. You often go to his room. I will gossip about others. Of course I know that Kang Nan is a serious and good teacher, but I have to avoid suspicion. Last time I heard from Mrs. Liu next door that there is a male teacher in your girls' high school or Yanruo's. Seducing a female student, it's very shameful. Look, if a girl is told such gossip, can she still behave?"

Jiang Yanrong bit her lower lip, and secretly glanced at Mrs. Jiang, her face burning hot.From Mrs. Jiang's expression, she could see that her mother hadn't found out about her, so she stomped her foot on purpose and said, "Mom told me this, as if I did something..." "I'm not talking about what you did, I just told you to be careful! You know people's mouths are the worst! I love you, so just stare at me and stomp your feet!" Mrs. Jiang said angrily. "I just said that I was going to find Zhou Ya'an, and my mother came out with such a big set of words." Jiang Yanrong said in a low voice. "Okay, you go!" Mrs. Jiang was full of displeasure: "Anyway, I can't stay at home! This home is the hotel for my husband and children, and I will only come back after eating and sleeping. I am your old mother who cooks and cooks. !"

Jiang Yanrong sat down in the chair, pouted and said, "Okay, let's not go!" "Go!" Mrs. Jiang said: "If you don't go, I'll see your face all afternoon! You don't know the benefits of bringing up the child! If you want to go, go, why are you so dazed? Come back early at night!" Jiang Yanrong hesitated for a moment, and finally walked to the porch to put on her shoes. She didn't let out a long breath until she walked out of the gate.Only then did I remember that one of my father's friends, Mr. Hu, was also teaching at the Provincial X Middle School.Since Kang Nan moved to Provincial ×, she has to go there almost every day or two. It seems that this secret can't be kept!

Standing at the door of the house, she hesitated for a moment, finally sighed, and chose the route to Provincial ×.She knew she shouldn't go again, but she couldn't help it, a powerful attraction took hold of her.She shook her head dissatisfied with herself, but she still walked that way, until she walked into the gate of ×, and then into the corridor of the teachers' single dormitory, she was still angry with herself.Stopping at Kangnan's door, she knocked on the door, still thinking: "I should go back, I shouldn't have come here!" But when Kangnan's face appeared in front of her, all these thoughts escaped.

After closing the door, Kang Nan handed Jiang Yanrong a cup of tea that had been brewed on the table, Jiang Yanrong took it, looked at the jasmine in the teacup and asked: "Are you sure I'm coming today?" "I make two cups of tea every day. If you don't come, it's like coming. Sometimes I get confused, and I will talk a lot into your teacup." Jiang Yanrong smiled slightly, holding the cup silently.Kang Nan stared at her, her eyelashes were drooping, there was a layer of mist in her eyes, her teeth habitually bit her lower lip, this expression was familiar to him, and he knew that she had something on her mind again.He took one of her hands, spread her fingers apart, and looked at the lines in her palm.Jiang Yanrong smiled and said:

"You really know how to read palms? What is my fate?" "No, I can't see it, your palmistry is too complicated!" "What about the palmistry you looked at that time? How did you see so much? Remember? You said that I am very lucky, and I will enjoy the blessings of my children. Children, whose children are I with, will they be yours?" "You said However, those are all quack talk!" He closed her hand, made her into a fist, and grasped her with his big hand: "Xiao Rongrong, you are so small, but you are stronger than me." "I don't Be strong, I made up my mind a hundred times not to come to you, but I still come!" "I also made up my mind a hundred times to be cold and distant from you."

"Why not?" She held her head up, with a sense of challenge. Kang Nan looked at her, then gently lifted her chin, and his lips touched hers lightly, very tenderly. "I want you, Xiao Rong," he said in a low voice, his hands trembling: "I want you." He wiped his lips from her cheek, staring at her eyes, her eyelashes were half down, black Eyeballs are moist. "Tell me you'll never belong to someone else, tell me!" "I don't need to tell you," she whispered, "you don't know?" "I know your heart, but I am afraid of fate. Many times, we cannot control fate." "Do you think fate will not judge me to you?"

"Yes, because you are too good, I don't deserve it!" "Who deserves it? If not even you?" "There are people who are younger and more promising than me." "But they are not Kangnan, they don't have a pore and a cell of Kangnan, they are them!" Kangnan hugged her tightly, his lips pressed against hers .She tilted her head passively, tears streaming from the corners of her eyes. "You're crying again." "I know, we're talking in our sleep," she smiled bitterly. "I don't know what my fate is. I have a hunch that there is a lot of misfortune waiting for me." "No, the list will be released tomorrow, I guess..." "Don't guess! I have a hunch. Connan, I'm scared, really." He held her hand, which was cold. "Don't be afraid, the sky is falling, let me support you, okay?" "I'm afraid you won't be able to hold on!" She walked away, walked to the desk, rummaged through the things on the desk, and said in a low voice: "Mom has already suspected me. If you want people to know, you must do nothing! Kang Nan, I really want to tell my mother everything, anyway, one day she will know, if the storm is bound to come, it is better to let it come earlier." Kang Nan remained silent.Jiang Yanrong picked up a folded note from the table, opened it, and Kang Nan grabbed her hand: "Don't look at it. I was not at home yesterday. The note they stuffed in through the crack of the door is nothing." "Let me read it!" Jiang Yanrong said, opening the note. The handwriting is not unfamiliar. It was written by two classmates. : "teacher: Everyone is very busy these two days, and I haven't had a chance to talk to you for a long time, but you will always be our most respected and beloved teacher.Today's visit coincides with the time when the teacher is out, which is very regrettable.Now we have a few quick questions, could you please answer them for us? 1. What do you think is the most respectable thing for a teacher by example?Wouldn't it be a pity if he lost it on a whim? 2. We have teachers and classmates whose relationship exceeds the scope of teachers and students. How do you feel about this matter?That teacher has always been the most respected by the students, but this happened to him, do you think this teacher should?Did he make a mistake?If you were that teacher, what attitude would you take? 3. Do you think Zhu Ziqing's article "To the Dead Wife" is all hypocrisy? 4. Why did you leave the girls' high school? Teacher, we can't speak, but we are all very sincere, if there is any impoliteness on this note, please forgive us! Happy birthday The two students who respect you the most, He Qi and Cai Xiuhua, are the same as above." Jiang Yanrong put down the note and looked at Kang Nan.She remembered that she had talked with He Qi about Zhu Ziqing's essay on giving to the dead woman before, and thought that Zhu Ziqing was a bit pretentious, especially the last paragraph, where he didn't go to the grave because his second wife was unwell, which made him even more hypocritical. Now, they actually took out Zhu Ziqing's essay. The deceased woman came to remind Kang Nan's deceased wife, which was quite a powerful shot.She spread out the note and said lightly: "Kangnan, you have been proud all your life, but now you are enduring this!" "I didn't ask people to say I was good, and now I don't care if people say I am bad!" Kangnan said, tearing up the note. "Kang Nan," Jiang Yanrong looked at him: "You care, this note has already stabbed you!" "I can't hope they can understand me, they're just little kids!" "What about adults? Can adults understand? Old man Cao, the walking dead, Donald Duck, can those people understand? Will my parents understand? Will the dean and the principal understand? Who in this world will understand? Kangnan, you Be a teacher, have a wife, and be over forty years old, so you should not have feelings and flesh and blood, you should be a rock, if you are not a rock, then you are a villain, and you should be reviled by thousands of people! "Kang Nan didn't speak, Jiang Yanrong stood leaning against the table with flames in his eyes.Suddenly, she bent down and fell on Kangnan's lap. "Kangnan, we were wrong, we were wrong from the beginning!" "That's right," Kang Nan stroked the back of her neck, where there was a circle of fine hair. "Don't be sad!" "I want someone to give me the strength to leave you!" He hugged her tightly and said, "No!" "Kangnan, I have a hunch that I will leave you one day." "I'm afraid of your premonition, you'd better not have a premonition." They watched quietly, time passed quickly, the twilight surrounded from all directions, and the room was already very dark.Kang Nan turned on the light, looked at Jiang Yanrong who was sitting in the chair and meditated, and asked, "What do you think?" What, let the hearts of two people get closer to each other, no matter what else in the world, no matter what others say, how beautiful it is!" She stretched lazily: "It would be great if there were no meddling people Yes! They think they are doing good deeds, saving me, and helping me. Don’t you find it ridiculous? This is an inexplicable world! I will be driven to the road of destruction by these rescuers. If I commit suicide I don't know what they're going to say!" "You will scold me!" "What if you commit suicide too?" "They will say that these are two big fools, two big fools, two people who made mistakes!" "Oh!" She leaned her head on the back of the chair , with a long sigh. "What's the matter?" "I'm hungry! I want to eat." "Let's go, go to the small restaurant at the door to have a meal." Jiang Yanrong lazily stood up and followed Kang Nan out of the school gate.In a Hunan restaurant at the school gate, they picked two seats and sat down.As soon as he sat down, Jiang Yanrong said "Ah!" Then, a person came out from inside, looking at Jiang Yanrong and Kang Nan in amazement, Jiang Yanrong stood up bravely and said: "Mr. Hu, you are here too!" This is the Mr. Hu who saw her, a very young teacher who used to be Jiang Yangzhi's student. "Oh, Miss Jiang, are you here for dinner?" Mr. Hu asked, and looked at Kang Nan again. "This is Mr. Hu," Jiang Yanrong said to Kang Nan. "We know each other," Mr. Hu greeted Kang Nan. "Our dormitory is only separated by three rooms." "Have you eaten, Mr. Hu?" Kang Nan said politely, "Let's eat some more!" "No, thank you!" Mr. Hu glanced at Jiang Yanrong again: "I'm leaving first, I have something to do tonight." Jiang Yanrong watched Mr. Hu go out, dipped his finger in the tea in the tea bowl, and wrote on the table: "Trouble Here we come!" Then he looked at Kang Nan and raised his eyebrows helplessly. "What should come will always come, let's order food!" "Is there no objection to my drinking?" Kang Nan asked. "No, I want to drink some too!" "Have you ever drank alcohol?" "I never drink at all, but I want to drink a little today. I don't know how many times I can get drunk in my life? I really want to get drunk today!" Kang Nan ordered wine and a platter, and at the same time called for Jiang Yanrong A bottle of soda.After the food and drink were delivered, Jiang Yanrong protested: "I said I would drink!" "Drunkenness is not good," Connan said. "I don't care!" She snatched the bottle from Kang Nan's hand and filled her own cup. Kang Nan pressed her hand and said, "Do you know it's sorghum? People who know how to drink don't dare to drink too much, don't be kidding!" How do you go home drunk?" "Leave me alone! I'm going to fight it out! Once drunk, you can solve a thousand worries, right? I have a lot of worries now, and I should be ten drunk to get rid of them! I hope to die drunk!" Picking up the cup, She poured it straight into her mouth, a pungent taste rushed from her chest into her stomach, and she immediately coughed.Kang Nan looked at her and frowned tightly: "Why bother!" he said, taking her glass away. "Give it to me! I'll drink it slowly." Jiang Yanrong said, licking her lips with her tongue: "I really don't know why you love wine, this thing is like drinking poison, that's fine, if I want to take poison, I'll take it first Drink to practice!" "What nonsense are you talking about?" "Nothing, I'll drink a little more, just a little!" Connan handed her the cup. "Just a little, don't get drunk! Drink slowly." Jiang Yanrong took a sip of the wine, swallowed it hard, and frowned.Then she looked at Connan and said: "Kangnan, I really made up my mind, I won't come to see you anymore, today is the last time!" "Really?" Kangnan looked at her, her pale cheeks were already stained with a blush, and her eyes were watery . "Don't drink anymore, you really can't drink!" "Never mind him!" Jiang Yanrong took another sip of his wine. "There are too many people who care about us in this world! In the end, I still have to leave you. I have already ruined half of you, so I must be merciful and let the other half of you stay in the provincial X well." !" "Aren't you hungry? I asked them to bring you more food." Kang Nan said. "I'm not hungry now, I don't want to eat at all, I have a fever in my chest!" Jiang Yanrong said with a frown. "You're already drunk!" "Not drunk!" Jiang Yanrong shook her head. "I can still have a drink!" Kang Nan withdrew his glass and said coaxing a child: "We don't drink anymore, let's eat!" After eating, Jiang Yanrong felt his face was burning and his chest was uncomfortably hot.When she walked out of the restaurant, she felt dizzy and couldn't help holding Kangnan's arm. Kangnan grabbed her and said, "Why bother! I told you not to drink! Go to my room and lie down! I'll have a drink later." It will be even more sad!" Back in Kangnan's room, Jiang Yan leaned obediently on Kangnan's bed.Kang Nan twisted a towel for her and brought it over, and walked to the bed, he was stunned.Jiang Yanrong was lying on her back, her short hair brushed loosely on her forehead and ears, her cheeks were like fire, her lips were red and slightly parted, her two rows of black and dense eyelashes were closed, and her hands were hanging limply by the bed.Kang Nan stared at this face, and put the towel aside.Jiang Yanrong's eyelashes moved, she opened her eyes slightly, and gave Kang Nan a hazy look, with a slight smile on her lips. "Kangnan," she said in a low voice, "I'm leaving you! Look at me more, maybe you won't see me tomorrow!" "No!" Connan said, sat down on the edge of the bed, and squeezed her hand. "Let's think long term, we still have a future!" Jiang Yanrong shook his head. "No, you know we won't have a future, and I know it myself! Why should we lie to ourselves?" She closed her eyes, still smiling. "Mom will know right away, if she sees me lying on your bed like this, she will tear me apart!" She sighed and opened her eyes: "I'm tired, Connan, I'm just a little girl, I don't have the strength to fight the whole world!" She turned her head into the bed and burst into tears.Kang Nan leaned down to kiss her. "Don't cry, be strong!" "Did I cry?" She asked vaguely: "I didn't cry!" She opened her eyes: "Kangnan, won't you leave me?" "No!" "You will, you don't like me, You like your wife." "Xiao Rong, you're drunk! Would you like some water?" "No!" She turned her head angrily. "You tell me something else, because you don't love me, you're just interested in me, you don't love me!" "Really?" He kissed her: "I love you!" He kissed her again: "You don't know how much you love! It hurts my heart!" He kissed her again, feeling the corners of his eyes moist: "Yan Rong, I love you! love you! love you!" "Kangnan, don't love me. I represent misfortune. From today on, you are not allowed to love me, and no one is allowed to love me!" "Yanrong!" "I have a headache." "You are drunk." "Kangnan," She suddenly turned over and sat up from the bed, looked at him excitedly, and said hurriedly: "Take me away, hurry up, tonight, take me to a place where there is no one! Go! Let's go right away! Go somewhere no one knows! Hurry up, okay?" "Yanrong, we have nowhere to go!" Kang Nan looked sadly at Jiang Yanrong's excited eyes. "We can't be impulsive, we want to eat, drink, and survive, right?" "Kangnan, you are cowardly! You have no seed!" Jiang Yanrong said angrily: "You dare not take me away, you are afraid of trouble! You It's just Luo Ting described by Turgenev! Kangnan, you have no spine, I hate you!" Kangnan stood up, lit a cigarette, his hands were shaking.Walking to the window, he took a deep breath of the cigarette, and sprayed it out into the dark sky outside the window.Jiang Yanrong slipped out of the bed, staggered and walked in front of him. She supported her head with one hand and frowned tightly, while the other hand grabbed his wrist, her eyes looked up at him beggingly. "I didn't mean to say that," she said. "I don't know what I'm talking about. I have a terrible headache. Let me have a cigarette." He reached out to support her. "Yanrong," he said softly, "I can't take you away, I have to worry about the consequences, Taiwan is too small, we will be found out immediately, and, I have no money, where can we go!" "Don't talk It's gone," Jiang Yanrong said, "I want to take a puff of cigarette," she took the cigarette out of his hand, and took a long puff.Immediately, a cough made her sick to her stomach, she took his hand and vomited profusely.Kang Nan supported her and made her vomit. After she vomited, she felt dizzy and sweaty on her forehead. Kang Nan handed her a glass of water. After she rinsed her mouth and washed her face, she regained consciousness. many.Sitting down in the chair, she rested for a while, feeling refreshed. "Is it better?" Kang Nan asked, giving her a sip of tea. "What time is it?" she asked, returning to reality. "It's almost nine o'clock." He looked at his watch. "I should go back, or my mother will be more suspicious." She cheered up: "Do I smell alcohol on me? I hope my mother can't smell it." "I'll take you back," Connan said. Going outside, the fresh air refreshed her.When she arrived at the school gate, she hailed a tricycle, turned to Kang Nan and said: "Don't send me off, I'll go back by myself!" Standing there, she looked at Kang Nan hesitantly, and after a while, she finally said, "Kang Nan, I really won't come here anymore!" "You will come again!" Kang Nan said, holding her hand tightly. "Are you afraid that I will ruin you?" she asked. "I'm afraid I'll ruin you!" He said melancholy. "Kangnan, do you remember Qin Guan's words? If the relationship lasts for a long time, how can it be day and night?" Jiang Yanrong stepped on the tricycle and waved to Kang Nan: "Goodbye, Kangnan, goodbye!" The tricycle quickly The pedal moved, and she looked back at Kang Nan, who was still standing there like a rooted tree.After a while, he was only a vague black shadow, and after a while, there was no shadow at all.She sighed, sat upright, and began to fear how to make up lies when she returned home.She pressed her cheeks with her hands, her hands were cold, but her cheeks were scalding hot.At the intersection, she told the car to stop, got out of the car, and quickly ran to the house, feeling an inexplicable nervousness in her heart.After ringing the bell, it was Yan Ruo who opened the door. She glanced at her sister with a strange pity and sympathy in her eyes.She walked into the house nervously, and Mrs. Jiang was already waiting for her at the porch. "Where have you been all afternoon?" Mrs. Jiang asked sternly with a straight face. "Go and find Zhou Ya'an." She said in a whisper. "You still have to lie to me, Zhou Ya'an came to see you this afternoon!" Jiang Yan looked at her mother speechlessly, the frost on Mrs. Jiang's face frightened her.Behind Mrs. Jiang, she saw her father and Jiang Lin. Jiang Yangzhi didn't have a smile on his face, and was shaking his head silently, looking at her and sighing.Jiang Lin also stared at her blankly, as if she was a dead person.Fear rose in her heart, she murmured: "Why, there is... what..." "Today, Dad went to the office in charge of the college entrance examination to check your scores," Mrs. Jiang said sternly, "You have already failed!" Jiang Yanrong felt a loud "boom" in her head, she stepped back a few steps and leaned against the wall, the shadows of her parents and Jiang Lin became blurred in front of her, she looked up at the ceiling, her throat seemed to be strangled Pressing hard, she murmured to herself: "God, you didn't leave me a way out!" After speaking, she fell forward.