Chapter 9 Chapter nine

I caught a cold when I returned to school from T City, and I had a fever for several days. I even passed the first two exams at the end of the semester with a high fever.Although I went to the school hospital to hang a few bottles of drips, I always had a fever on time every morning, and it was fine to take some antipyretics, and the fever would come back the next morning. It was like a tug of war. . .Yue Ying sighed, "I'm not the face that can overwhelm the country and the city, but you are the body that is full of worries and illnesses.". .I held the big cup and drank the effervescent tablets, and retorted feebly: "I just have a bad year, so I don't have many worries and illnesses.". .Yueying sneered: "Come on, you can still say that it's been a cool autumn.". .Yes, it's been a cool autumn, but it's winter now.Only a fool like me would freeze outside for a long time, and the result would be a cold that couldn't get worse.I went to the Second Affiliated Hospital for an outpatient visit, and the doctor prescribed a three-day drip for me.When I was doing the skin test, I received a text message from Lin Zixian, telling me that Xiao Shan had already gone back to class, telling me not to worry, and saying that next time we have a chance to get together.Polite, as she always is.She didn't mention whether Xiao Shan was found in T City, and I didn't ask.I think it's over, both for her and for me. . .Three days later, the injection was over, and my fever subsided.I put all my thoughts into my studies. There are many compulsory courses, and I can’t finish the exams in ten days and a half months. Every time the exam season comes, the atmosphere on campus will be extraordinarily quiet and tense, and even the study room in the library will be overcrowded.

At this time, a sensational event happened in our school, which was about He Yuyang. . .The reason was that a post suddenly popped up on the school's BBS, saying that He Yuyang was "hidden rules" by a famous producer in the entertainment industry, and attached a photo of He Yuyang sitting in a Mercedes-Benz. . .The students in the whole school must be very busy, because they still have time to gossip during the exam season. Some people analyze whether the photo is a PS composite, and some analyze whether the distant scene in the photo is the south gate of our school. Which series of Mercedes-Benz.It didn't take long for this post to be reposted to various BBS forums outside the school, and the title was also maliciously changed to "X University's beauty is taken care of by others, and the luxurious big Ben takes her to school". . .There was an uproar in the public opinion for a while, and He Yuyang just finished recording the program and went back to school to take the final exam.People on campus who recognized her always pointed and poked her. Although the girls in the same class didn't talk about her in front of her face, they couldn't help whispering behind her back.Yueying and He Yuyang are fellow villagers, and they have a very good relationship, so they got into a fight with the girls in the class.The leaders of the department finally found He Yuyang to have a heart-to-heart talk, and when he came back, He Yuyang's eyes were red.She told us aggrievedly: "Actually, that car belonged to my uncle, who took me home to see grandma that day."

Yue Ying defended He Yuyang on the BBS, but she didn't expect anyone to believe her, and her mouth was extremely venomous: "She said it was her uncle and it was her uncle? Are you lying to a three-year-old? Don't embarrass us. ". .Some people scolded Yue Ying: "Speak up for her so hard, are you also being adopted?". .A bunch of people at the bottom replied, booing and saying that Yue Ying must also be a mistress. .Yue Ying was so angry that she dropped her books on the spot. She locked herself in the bathroom and cried loudly. I was at a loss and knocked on the door outside, jumping in anxiety: "What are you doing with their knowledge? Yue Ying! Yue Ying! Ying, come out!" .Finally, Yueying was tired from crying, and finally opened the door, I dragged her out, I put a cold towel on her face, and then she said something to me. . "My mother was so mad because of my dad messing around outside...Those women are so shameless! Knowing that my father was married a long time ago...It's for his money! It's for his money...My mother lives In the hospital, there were even women who came to the hospital to harass her...I wish I could eat their flesh and peel their skin..." Yueying pressed the towel and said to me intermittently, "When my mother died, I My dad said, I will never let go of those women... I will never let go of any of them. So I will definitely study hard, I will take over the family business, and when I come back, I will not let any of those sluts go Let go!".Yueying had never told me about her mother, and I had never heard her gnashing her teeth and scolding someone like this. A chill came from my heart, and I couldn't stand up suddenly, so I sat down with my support on the table.

The matter of He Yuyang intensified, because she was a rookie host, and the post became a hot topic on the public forum. After the last commotion, some netizens even searched for the car based on the license plate number in the photo. In which company does it belong.Then follow the clues and find out that the boss of this company is He Yuyang's uncle, and finally the truth comes to light.The posts finally gradually fell silent, and He Yuyang could only congratulate: "Fortunately, there are people who search for flesh in this world, and it finally proves that I am not a mistress."

Yue Ying invited her to eat to calm her down, and smiled and hooked her shoulders: "If you really dare to be a mistress, I will peel your skin first." Of the three, I had the ugliest smile. I am getting more and more afraid of facing Yueying. Ever since I found out about Yueying's mother, I always feel restless, but I really don't have the courage to tell Yueying. She is my best friend.I have no parents, no relatives, I don’t even have Xiaoshan, I don’t have the courage to confess to my best friend and admit the ugly life under my glamorous coat, if Yueying knows——she will definitely not strip me Skin, but she will never talk to me again.

In this world, I have nothing left. The exam was very hard, the professor of supramolecular was very strict, and the questions he gave were abnormal. A good student with good character and learning, like Yue Ying, also lamented after the exam: "It's over, it's over, I'm afraid I'm going to fail the course .: The BBS of our school once said that a college life without failing a course is an incomplete life.Recently, the school BBS is very lively. Although everyone is busy with exams, the incident about He Yuyang has become very noisy. Just after it subsides, another post pops up on the school BBS with the title: "Look at the pick-up outside the gate of X University Those luxury cars for girls."

The post this time is more popular than He Yuyang's one, because our school is a famous school with a century of history, and has a prominent reputation in this city and even the whole country. The public forum is obviously the most active on such topics, and the post was quickly reposted and gained momentum. getting bigger.The photos taken secretly this time are very clear. To be honest, I didn’t think so before. After reading this post, I really felt that there are hidden dragons and crouching tigers in the school. The person who posted the post exploded a dozen photos in one breath, all of which were in our school The pictures taken outside the south gate or east gate, all kinds of famous cars, from Mercedes-Benz BMW to Q7 Land Rover, it is like a luxury car show.

Naturally, there was an uproar at the BBS in the school, because most of these cars came to pick up girls, and the boys' words were naturally unpleasant, and the girls also felt indignant, especially Yueying, because she was also unfortunately on camera.Her father's driver came to pick her up on the weekend, and it was even photographed and posted on the Internet.Although her face was not photographed and the license plate number was painted out, I knew her as if I knew myself, and I recognized her at a glance.Yue Ying's photos were quickly reposted, and she was called "the most awesome big X girl in history", from the stretched Lincoln driven by her father, to the fashionable Versace watch on Yue Ying's wrist, to the That Chanel vacation style canvas bag was gossiped by a group of luxury goods experts.

Fortunately, no face was photographed, so He Yuyang made a special phone call to express condolences to Yue Ying: "Just try to experience what a public figure is." Yue Ying was very depressed but also very calm: "The excitement is over in a few days." Fortunately, none of the girls in the department seemed to recognize that it was Yue Ying. Recently, our department has had so many difficult exams that most people either don’t have the time to care about the gossip on the BBS, or don’t have the time to think about the people in the photos. Who. Unexpectedly, the development of things will take a sharp turn.In the afternoon after finishing the last exam, Yueying and I went to Ximen for dinner in order to relax. When we returned to the dormitory, it was already dark, and there were girls chattering in the corridor, and vaguely mentioned our dormitory number.When Yueying and I approached, those girls stopped abruptly and looked at us both awkwardly.

Yue Ying seemed to have a bad premonition, and said to me in a low voice, "Is that photo of mine recognized?" I was also very worried for her. As soon as we returned to the dormitory, we quickly opened our respective laptops to surf the Internet. After the post on the school BBS about "the most awesome girl in X University in history", there was already a red 'hot', I didn’t read it for two days and there were many more replies. I scrolled back to the last page. All the replies were overwhelmingly quoting a photo. I stared at that photo like a boat out of water. The fish can no longer breathe.

That photo is very clear. Although it is in the far focus, it is obviously a viewfinder under professional pixels. The angle is very good, so good that it doesn't look like a candid shot at all.In the photo, I was getting out of the car, and the doors of the black Maybach were not even closed, and they were captured together. As usual, the license plate was processed by PS, but my face was not covered. It was the first time I saw myself under this kind of lens, and I felt so strange that I couldn't recognize myself.The photo was not taken outside our school gate, it must have happened in the summer, my mind went blank, I just couldn’t figure out what day it would be—it should be when Mo Shaoqian took me out for dinner .Because in the picture I have my hair combed, a little dress skirt, and jewelry around my neck. If I hadn't gone out with him, I wouldn't have dressed like this, let alone those jeweled things, but in the photo there are only me and half of the Maybach in the background, and there is no Mo Shaoqian.I can't think of anything, I just mechanically pull down the scroll bar with my fingers, and all the replies are amazed. Some people say that this is the real "big X girl in history", and some people are admiring the big girl on my neck. necklace, some people are talking about the handbag I’m carrying, others are gossiping about the brand of the dress I’m wearing, more people are paying attention to the car behind me, its double M logo is so eye-catching, people keep mentioning its price. I tried to close the page with trembling hands, but I missed the little fork after pressing it a few times. Yueying was looking at me across the table. There were so many famous cars exposed in the post, but I was the only one who was photographed A positive one.Yueying was surprised and tried to comfort me: "Don't be afraid, it's not your fault that you have a rich boyfriend! Besides, this kind of photo violates privacy, you can file a complaint and ask to delete it." Only I know what I'm afraid of, I'd rather be an ostrich, bury my head in the sand and ignore everything.At that moment, Yueying sent a complaint post to the moderator for me, asking to delete the photo.The moderator on duty also quickly deleted the photo, but things backfired and became more serious. Another new post popped up with the theme: "Tong Xue was raised by a rich husband with a mother, such a mistress student It's a big shame." I have never seen the ID of the person who posted it, and the following posts have caused an uproar.Some people suddenly realized that they couldn't blame it; some people didn't believe it, saying that I knew Tong Xue, she studied hard, and she was no different from everyone else in the department; Countless exclamation points said no, our school actually has this kind of girl—— Posts are turning pages quickly, I have no courage to read again, I have known that this day will come, from the very beginning, I have thought about it.I turned off the notebook, and stood up a little staggeringly. Yueying called my name, but I didn't hear it in a daze.I don't know who will clearly know the relationship between me and Mo Shaoqian. I don't know who took this photo, and I don't even know who posted it on the Internet to expose everything I tried to cover up. Everything is gone at this moment, I thought I could live a hypocritical life, I thought I could finish college cautiously, I thought I could deceive myself—but all the ugliest and most embarrassing things have been exposed up.This is all retribution, and I knew there would be such retribution.I did immoral things, so sooner or later I will receive such retribution. Yue Ying caught up with me in the corridor, she grabbed my arm: "Tong Xue, is that true?" I looked into her eyes, I didn't know what to say to her, I couldn't say it, I didn't know how to face it, I could only deceive myself and keep silent.There seemed to be tears in Yueying's eyes, but they disappeared in a flash. She asked me stubbornly, "Is that true?" I can't answer her, my best friend, I know that I finally hurt her, I don't want to, but I still hurt her.I couldn't answer her at all, Yue Ying gradually recovered from her astonishment and shock, she asked angrily: "How could you do this?" How can I do this? I can't answer. Yueying's voice was almost hysterical: "You clearly know that I hate this kind of woman the most, and you clearly know how my mother died! I swore never to spare those women! You are my best friend, I With your friend for so long, you know everything, why are you like this?How can you do this to me?How can you lie to me like this? " I was trembling and speechless, I knew everything, Yueying believed in me like this, told me everything, I knew everything, but I couldn't explain everything I had done. Yue Ying's voice was sharp and high-pitched. Someone in the next bedroom was looking out. I couldn't face Yue Ying. Although I didn't want to hurt Yue Ying at all, my voice was very small: "I'm sorry." "Don't tell me you're sorry!" Yueying's face was full of tears, and she yelled at me, "I don't want to see you again!" I stood there dumbfounded, watching Yueying turn around and rush into the classroom, and then slammed the door hard. I stood alone in the empty hallway, the incandescent lamps hung from the ceiling, high and far away.My vision was blurred, and I felt pain and burning on my face, whipping me.The tears in Yueying's eyes came to my mind, my best friend - I lied to her - I hurt her with the worst and ugliest truth, and Yueying will never talk to me again. The lights were about to turn off, there were footsteps in the corridor, and the girls who came back from self-study were humming and going upstairs.There is the sound of water in the distance, I don’t know who is washing the clothes, and there are faint chatter and laughter. The whole world seems to be far away from me, everything is far away from me, and everything has become so far away.I can no longer stand here, otherwise the whole building will come out to look at me, and all the people will know all this as long as they go to the BBS in the school. I will have no face to stand here, no face to face my classmates. I don't know how to get out of the campus, and I choose the road with few people along the way.After exiting the south gate, there is a straight street full of traffic. I look at the rolling traffic and countless red taillights, like a winding sea of ​​lights flowing slowly. I look at this bustling river of cars and think about myself How about going headfirst into it, getting crushed to pieces, and never having to face it all again. I didn't have a bag, and there was a payphone on the sidewalk, so I walked over and took the receiver off.I want to call, but I don't have money, and I don't have any number to dial.My fingers are shaking, mom, where are you mom?Mom and Dad are gone, they're all dead.I crouched on the ground holding my head.I knew I was shaking badly, but I didn't cry.The noisy voices of people around me, the whizzing of cars, the sound of bus stops, and the sound of pedestrians walking, all came into my ears, like countless snakes, burrowing into my brain. But it was terribly quiet, just like that night, it was so terribly quiet, so quiet that I could hear the sound of my own blood gurgling, but I lost half of my strength, as if I was pressing a huge stone on my body, or drowning in the blood. In the water, I kept sinking, sinking, but I couldn’t struggle—everything was gone from me, and I was forever trapped in the darkness of despair—but I knew in my heart that this was not a punishment from God, but fate, is my fate. My own life is bitter, and I have nothing to complain about, especially people. I forced a smile on my face, I read as if nothing had happened, and pretended to be the same as them in front of all my classmates, but today all of this was exposed.My sordid and filthy life, my invisible face—it was all exposed.It was as if I had been stripped of my clothes and thrown naked in front of everyone, letting their eyes trample on me.I have no place to be wronged, because I was not wronged. I don't know where to go, the city is so big, there is no place for me. I didn't know how long I squatted there, and finally someone asked me: "Tong Xue, are you okay?" girls.She asked again, and it turned out that I had misheard. What she asked was: "Student, are you okay?" There was a boy standing beside her. The two of them seemed to have just returned from school, a typical campus couple.The boy was looking at me curiously, and the girl asked enthusiastically, "Are you from our school? Are you feeling unwell? Shall we send you back?" Behind me is a prestigious century-old school. When I first stepped into the school, I was so proud that I could be a part of it.But today I no longer have the face to admit that I am its student, and the things I do let me know that I am not worthy. The girl asked, "Are you feeling unwell? Do you want us to help?" I worked up my courage, borrowed one yuan from her, and said I wanted to call home, but I didn't have any change with me. She hesitated for a while. After all, there are many scammers these days, but there should not be many scammers who only need one yuan.In the end, she took out a coin for me, and left suspiciously with her boyfriend on her arm. I put coins in the phone and dialed number by number, and after only three numbers, I hung up. What face do I have to call Xiao Shan? I was trembling all over, thinking of Xiao Shan's name, I was like a puddle of mud, I would collapse there anytime and anywhere, trampled by thousands of people, what face would I have to see Xiao Shan again? I'd rather I be dead. I changed a number and dialed Mo Shaoqian's cell phone number. I never took the initiative to call him, although I was forced to memorize his private number.There was a long busy tone on the other end of the receiver, but no one answered.I waited for a long time and finally despaired. All the people in this world have abandoned me, where else can I go? I walk along the sidewalk.Walk forward aimlessly until you reach a park in the middle of the street.There are street lights in the park, and people pass by from time to time, so it doesn't look deserted.A homeless man arranges the purified water bottles he found on a bench.Bottles, large and small, were crushed one by one by him, and then stuffed into a dirty garbage bag.I stood about a long time as he looked up and grinned at me.His face was dirty and his teeth were very white. It was only when he smiled that I realized that he was a madman. I was frightened by his smile and ran away. When I passed by the window, I saw my frightened shadow in the reflection of the light, my face was pale and dazed, just like that madman. I was walking on the sidewalk in a daze because I had nowhere to go.I have no time, no father and mother, I can't go back to the dormitory, I have nowhere to go.I walked until the dead of night, and even the cars on the road gradually became less, and then I saw a 24-hour McDonald's on the side of the road.I was thirsty and cold, and the bright lights inside tempted me. I opened the door and walked in, and the heat was blowing on me, making me feel even more numb. I went straight to the chair and sat down. I had no strength in my whole body, and I didn't want to move anymore after sitting there.It was warm and bright here, like the heaven seen by the little match girl after she lit a match.On that winter afternoon many years ago, Xiao Shan and I were sitting in the same shop with bright windows and clean windows. At that time, he folded a paper crane for me. I struggled with my thoughts for a long time, and finally hid the paper crane in my coat pocket and took it home.At that time, this little boldness brought me a lot of happiness. For a long time, whenever I saw the paper crane in my notebook, my heart was always filled with sourness and sweetness. How young we were at that time, but in just a few years, everything has been unbearable.At this most powerless moment, my yearning for Xiao Shan overwhelmed everything. I had never missed him so much, longed for him.The hypothetical sentence appeared again, if Xiao Shan knew, if he knew, he would not let me suffer like this, if he really knew. Even if it is self-deception, I also need these self-deceptions. I have nothing. If I hadn't deceived myself many years ago, I would have been unable to live.I have been lingering until today, and I still want to lie to myself, if Xiao Shan knew, he wouldn't do this.Even if the whole world abandons me, Xiao Shan will not. I know that I shouldn't think like this, I know that such self-deception is very pitiful, but what else do I have?What else do I have but this last straw? The waiter looked at me strangely. I must have looked devastated.After a while, she finally came over to me and asked, "Is there anything I can do for you?" "Can I borrow the phone?" I asked. She graciously took her mobile phone for me to use. I dialed Xiao Shan's cell phone, and my hands were shaking when I pressed the number. I felt that I didn't have the courage to wait for the connection. When his voice sounded from the far end, I still just wanted to hang up. He said "hello" and I was choked up and unable to speak, I couldn't help it, I think I was crying.He then asked me who I was, several times, and I was about to hang up the phone, when he suddenly called out my name hastily: "Tong Xue?" His voice is the magic of this world, with just these two words, all my pretense was shattered, I couldn't bear it anymore, and suddenly burst into tears.I haven't heard him call my name for a long time, and I haven't heard him call me "Tong Xue" for a long time. Everything in the past was so extravagant to me.I miss him, I miss him all the time, I push him into the deepest abyss in my heart, but I can't restrain myself.I miss him, when I am desperate, I miss him, he is engraved in my bones, and he will be revealed when I peel off my flesh and blood.He became anxious on the other end of the phone: "What's wrong with you? Where are you? Tong Xue, is that you? Tong Xue?" I really wanted to cry Tao, when he finally called out my name, but I just shed tears and couldn't say any more words.He calmed down slowly, and asked me where I was while persuading me.The waiter looked at me with tears streaming down my face curiously, and I told him the name of the top of the building across the street, Xiao Shan said, "Don't go away, I'll be right back." If Xiao Shan knew, if Xiao Shan knew, these hypothetical sentences over the years allowed me to live to this day, if Xiao Shan knew, he would never treat me like others, even if the whole world abandoned me, he would still come to me. When Xiao Shan appeared in front of me, I didn't know what I said to him. I grabbed his sleeve, like grabbing the last straw.I muttered something, I always felt that all this was like a nightmare, dreaming until now, I finally saw Xiao Shan, he appeared in my dream, just like what I had hoped for countless times - when he Standing in front of me, I still feel that all this is a dream, otherwise he would not come, he would not appear here.It wasn't until he took me into the taxi and gave me a pack of tissues that I couldn't help but finally broke down, buried my face in my palm, and let myself cry.I know I've been expecting him, no matter where I am, I've been expecting him to come back. He took me to a house. The room was messy and looked like it hadn't been tidied up. I didn't have the heart to think about it.He took a towel and asked me to wash my face first. I put water in front of the sink and stared blankly at myself in the mirror. My eyes were swollen and my whole face was swollen. I cried for too long.But even if this is not the case, I know clearly that I am not the Tong Xue I used to be. I can't know what to do, I'm so confused, I can't figure out anything, I don't want to face anything. When I came out, Xiao Shan was sitting by the window smoking. I have never seen Xiao Shan smoking. The moment I saw him in the fast food restaurant, I felt like he walked over directly from yesterday, dragging my hand and not letting go all the way.But now, he was strange and far away from me, almost another person, another person I didn't recognize. I sat down on the sofa, Xiao Shan pinched out the cigarette."What happened?" he asked. My voice was very low, I looked up at him, almost pleading: "Take me away, please, wherever you want." I know that I am wishful thinking, I have been wishful thinking that one day Xiao Shan will come back, he will find me, and then take me away.But I clearly know that he is not my Xiao Shan anymore, he is with Lin Zixian, I did something shameless once, and then I plan to do it again, but I really want to escape, to a place where no one is there Go, and now as long as Xiao Shan shakes his head, I will immediately be crushed to pieces by the fingers of fate like an ant. But Xiao Shan didn't hesitate, he said: "Okay." He went into the room to put on his overcoat, came out and said to me, "Come on." I didn't know where he was taking me, I just followed him obediently.He took me to the train station and bought two tickets.In the deep night, I couldn't see anything outside the car window, I was exhausted and extremely tired, he could see it: "Go to sleep, I will call you when I arrive at the station." I fell into a deep sleep, even though it was on a noisy train, the lights on the roof were always on, and there was chatter and laughter in the soft seat car from time to time.I just fell asleep amidst such noise, because I knew that Xiao Shan was sitting beside me. When the train arrived at the station, I was woken up by Xiao Shan. We got out of the station and hailed a taxi. T city was exactly the same as when I came a few days ago. The family courtyard, the buildings here are one by one, he took me to shuttle back and forth among them, all the buildings have the same opportunities, I think I must be dreaming, because only a few days later, I came back here again, and Xiao Shan is by my side. I must be dreaming. I feel comforted that this dream is really wonderful. Walking up the stairs, Xiao Shan opened the door, and the strange but familiar three-bedroom and two-living room appeared in front of me transparently. The morning sun just penetrated The light came in through the window, and the furniture was covered with a layer of light gold. The light was soft and full, which made all this just a dream, so beautiful that I couldn't believe it. Xiao Shan asked me: "Would you like to sleep for a while?" The bed in the bedroom was so soft that I fell asleep with my clothes down on it.