Chapter 7 Section 7

As if he suddenly remembered something, he took out a wallet from his pocket, and took out a folded white paper from it, probably because of the age, the white paper had turned yellow.He unfolded it carefully and placed it in front of her. CAROL looked at it, and there were a few staves, with a few very childish words "To Dear Papa" on it. He looked at her with a smile, and asked: "Don't remember? This is your masterpiece, the music you wrote. You like to draw those bean sprouts petals the most. You draw a lot of long and short ones. When you are finished, just tell me: Dad, I wrote another piece of music, and you play it to me on the piano."

"I also wrote these words?" CAROL asked curiously. She still had a little impression of the painting "bean sprouts and petals" he said, but she couldn't remember clearly about the writing. "It was also written by you. Mom wrote it on paper, and you followed it. We kept everything about you, and prepared to write your memoirs when you grow up and become famous. This is what I asked you Mom wants to come, keep it by my side all the time." Carol watched him carefully fold the paper back and put it in his wallet, feeling his nose a little sore, pretending to ask casually: "You -- what's the matter with that disease?"

"It's nothing, I used to have hypertrophy of the prostate gland, and later it turned into cancer." She kind of appreciates his attitude, she doesn't like men who are afraid of suffering and death, and have self-pity.She felt that a man should be the kind of chivalrous and soft-hearted. Without chivalry, there is only a sissy, but without a soft heart, he becomes a killing machine.It's the most touching thing to see a man who is not afraid of anything and never breaks his heart in the face of love. "Does my mother know?" she asked, seeing him raise his eyebrows in surprise.

"How could I tell her?" He put down his chopsticks, rubbed his hands, and asked worriedly, "You won't tell her, will you? You know, she is a person who likes to be in a hurry, and she can't sleep well when something happens. If it’s not good, it’ll cause a migraine. But worrying about these things won’t help—” She cut him off: "I won't tell her," and blurted out, "You still love Mommy, don't you?" He had a look of "that's needless to say" on his face: "I love you too, but you won't let me—" "Then why did you talk to--that--Xiuzhen..." She found it difficult to ask, but this was a question that had been lingering in her heart for many years. If she didn't ask it now, when would it be?

She saw that he was tongue-tied, unable to speak, and moved his hands several times, as if he was going to make a gesture, but in the end he just said: "Some things are hard to explain, I can only say, I have always loved you and your mother , really, never stopped. All these years, you don't want to see me, I think you are going crazy. If you miss someone you know where you can't meet, you will understand me, but I I don't want you to feel this kind of miss. I went to find you today, so I was ready to be driven away by you." He smiled self-deprecatingly, and looked at her gratefully.

She felt that his words were very touching. Even she, who had hated him so stubbornly for so many years, was almost confused by what he said.She also understands why her mother and that Xiuzhen fall in love with him, or she has always understood why they love him.What she didn't understand was why he was dealing with two women at the same time.She feels that she is different from traditional Chinese women and her mother in this regard.Mother loves him with all her heart, even after he betrayed her, she only blames Xiuzhen.Xiuzhen must also blame her mother, and the two women blamed each other.Only she knew that the real culprit was the man who had involved her mother and Xiuzhen in this tragedy and farce.

"You mean that you and Xiuzhen are just—playing on the spot? It's really like what mother said, that Xiuzhen threw herself into your arms?" He frowned, as if stabbed by certain words: "I didn't say that. I'm not a playful person. Your mother shouldn't say that about Xiuzhen either." "Then you love Xiuzhen?" Carol felt his voice rising involuntarily, and quickly suppressed it. "I—I think so." "Who do you love?" Carol finally couldn't help getting angry, "You can't love both, can you? Don't you know that love is exclusive? You play with the feelings of two women like this, you don't know if it's right? Moral? Don't you know you're ruining a lot of people like this?"

"Can we not talk about it?" he pleaded. "I really don't want you to be angry. Of the kids, I'm most worried about you, because you're the most sensitive, the most persistent, the most—the most intense, I'm afraid You will because of this intense emotion—” "How many children? How many children do you have?" "There are—four." CAROL was dumbfounded: "You, you have four children? You and that Xiuzhen—" She knew this wasn't the correct answer, but she hoped it was. "Your mother and I were married once before. Didn't your mother tell you?" He said carefully, as if he regretted mentioning it, but CAROL's eyes were so severe that he had to go on, "That marriage There are two children."

"Aren't you divorcing your wife, and my mother—?" She hoped that he would jump up and retort, but he didn't make a sound. She trembled and asked angrily, "Then I am your ugly relationship. The result? Or did you get married because of me? Why didn't you kill me then? If I get knocked out, I won't have to suffer in this world!" "Chengcheng, don't do this, you know that your mother and I regard you as the apple of our eye, me." She felt her lungs were going to explode, and she gestured to him to stop talking.There is nothing to say, and many clueless things have clues.His mother was his student, and they got together before he divorced, and then the school demoted him to a small county town.There he repeated his old tricks and fell in love with Xiuzhen again.It just ended in marriage, and God knows how many one-night and two-night affairs he had.Just now he almost forgave him as a man who stumbled for a while, but he turned out to be a repeat offender.

She took a napkin and put it in front of him, and said coldly: "Please, please write down the names of all your legitimate and illegitimate children, you don't need to write the names of the women, only the men, it is best to describe Take a look at their looks, lest I accidentally fall in love with my half-brother in the future."