Chapter 7 Chapter 5 Met my young self

The train finally started, and the familiar sound of "click, click, click" slowly sounded in my ears. From slow to fast, I put away my luggage and half leaned on the bed. Helping her to tie her pigtails, she may be shaking her head and restless, the young mother lightly reprimanded, "If you move around, you will be spanked." The night in winter comes very early, at 7 o'clock, the night is already very dark, my father sent a message to ask me if I got in the car, I went back, put the phone in my pocket, and sat alone in a daze, the upper bunk was quilt The little girl creaked.

Turn on the TV, and there is an old martial arts movie from Hong Kong. Maybe it is too old. I don’t know any of these actors. I watched it to pass the time, but the more I watch it, the more interesting it is. Although the makeup of the actors is not enough nowadays. It is exquisite, and the martial arts sounds are not natural enough, but the story is vivid, interesting and reasonable. Just after watching the movie, the young mother asked me, "Can the lights be turned off?" I nodded and saw that the person on the bottom bunk next to him was already snoring, his mouth was wide open, he must be too tired.

I turned my body inward, closed my eyes, and the sound of the train's crackling sound was close to my ears. Such a melodic sound should have been a good lullaby, but I didn't feel sleepy, my eyelids were slightly tired, and the carriage door was blocked by a young man. My mother closed it, and there seemed to be people walking outside, and all the subtle sounds were so sensitive to my ears. I don’t know how long it took, I seemed to be squinting, but suddenly woke up again, I vaguely felt the crisp voice of the little girl upstairs, and the hiss of the young mother, like an illusion, but I really felt it, I scratched Scratching my head, I turned my face further inward, and the dim street lights outside swept across my forehead in an orderly and fast manner, as if jumping in the night.

The beam of light was projected in front of my eyes, and I caressed the white wall, as if I was caressing the light on my fingertips. The sound of my fingers slowly caressing, one sound, one sound, very subtle, could only be heard in my ears, in my heart, but Like the footsteps of memory, one sound, one sound, slowly stepping towards me. Everyone has their own youth story, these stories, there are joys, sorrows, but also the purest dedication in the corner that others don't know, only we know, we know these stories that we wrote one by one about The story of youth and love, it is simple and warm, reckless but not direct.Even people who claim to be mature will laugh at our persistence and ignorance.

I met him at the simplest, childish and confused age, and this is my youth story. Perhaps, it is also a story of your youth. The first time I met him was more than ten years ago, it sounds very far away, but just thinking about it, it still seems like yesterday. In my memory, the summer vacation was extremely long. Apart from the nervousness of waiting for the results of the high school entrance examination at the beginning, there were family disputes about which high school I went to. My grades have always been neither high nor low. I performed fairly well in the senior high school entrance examination, but my scores in the final test were not high enough. The scores in good high schools were not enough, and the county-level high schools were only a few points higher.

My mother scolded me for being a typical high achiever and low achiever. In fact, this was her own idea. An art teacher. As a result, the words were ruthlessly rejected as soon as they were spoken. My dream has become a whimsical dream in my mother's mouth, saying that even if I become an art teacher, I can only teach kindergarten, and I will have to bother her old man if I can't wash diapers. Even my father and grandmother, who always loved me, stood on my mother's side. After I had no hope of going to the Normal Technical Secondary School, I decided to enroll in Jianzhong with Mi Li. Mi Li’s score was lower than mine. Her family has no financial means. Mi Li had no choice but to go to Jianzhong, a third-rate high school. At that time, Jianzhong was famous in Jiangcheng, and even children knew the phrase "Jianzhong Jianzhong, gangsters concentrated".When my mother heard that I was going to Jianzhong with Mi Li, she was so angry that she pinned me on the bench at home and gave me a good beating. In her eyes, Mi Li has always been a bad boy who ruined my grades, especially in junior high school. For a while, Mi Li and I skipped class together to go to the countryside to steal sweet potatoes. After being stabbed at home by the teacher, my mother became even more disgusted with Mi Li. I yelled: "Don't learn from the good ones and learn from the bad ones, and play with Mi Li again, and then you can be a little gangster."

After my mother beat me up, she threatened me, "You hang out with her all day, I didn't scare you. His father is a robber and has been in prison. Like a father, like a daughter, you, in the future Just wait to go to jail with her! I won’t have the face to give you prison food when the time comes!” My mother has always had the knack of choreographing a dead end scenario for me before I even contemplate doing something. During that summer vacation, I resisted several times to no avail, and had to accept the so-called promising school they arranged for me.It's just that I never thought that my level would be admitted to the only national key high school in the city at that time.

In such a school that is said to gather top students, who am I?As a result, when I heard someone scolding you for which onion you were, I became nervous. It turns out that I am one of the six students who spend the most money in the school.It really answered the sentence my mother pointed at my forehead and scolded: "You are a money-consuming and labor-intensive debt collector!" I still don't know how much money my mother spent to send me in, but thinking about her violent temper that could spontaneously combust without lighting up that summer vacation, I guess it should be an astronomical figure.

It can be seen that my grades in school were at the bottom, and my foundation was too weak to withstand a single blow. Mi Li knew that when I went to No. 1 Middle School, she hugged me and cried and laughed. She said she was happy for me, but she was sad that she was incapable, and she would rarely play with me in the future. Me and Mi Li wandered on the street for a day , Parting reluctantly, watching her leaving lonely back, I feel sorry for her, for her leaving, for her helplessness, and for my mother who misunderstood her because of her family. On the first day of school, my mother urged me to study hard from the top students and not to waste her hard-earned money.Then on the way to send me to school, when I met a colleague from the unit, I started to be humble and low-key, "It's nothing, oh, what's the big deal, it's just the No. 1 middle school in the city, and it will depend on her own fortune in the future... oh, it's really nothing ..."

In fact, the corners of my mother's mouth were raised all the time. After sending me near the school, the corners of my mouth drooped, "Go on your own, you still need to be able to take care of yourself. I didn't praise you just now, so don't be proud." I was so angry at the time, it was you who were playing fake humility and really showing off, so why did you put the shit pot on my head. After my mother walked away, I wanted to go back angrily with my schoolbag on my back. If I don’t report to school, what can you do to me? I will not be at your mercy, and I will completely destroy your vanity!

I thought I was rebellious enough, and as soon as I walked through the alley to the west of the school, my pace slowed down. One after another, students of the same age as me passed me by. Since then, I have embarked on the broad road, but I am angry and lonely, as if I have been forced into a dead end. At that time, I am afraid that only I can understand the bitterness in my heart. I shouldn't be a member of this place, but I spent so much money from my family begging for nothing to come here to pretend to be a top student. I absolutely hate this feeling. The first thing that comes to mind is "a rat droppings spoiled a pot of porridge". I looked up at the sky feebly. If I went to Jianzhong, I would be with Mi Li now. In the future, I could be like junior high school, go to and from get out of class together, go to the bathroom together, go to the canteen to buy food, and discuss which comics together Looks good... everything has become a bubble. I let out a long sigh, "Oh..." In the end, I succumbed to my mother's coercion that followed me everywhere and penetrated into my bone marrow. When I thought of her crying and crying about the colorful banknotes piled up on me this time, I spit out my face and said that I ruined her by myself Didi Seeing blood, sweat and money, I was timid at a young age. I couldn't imagine the consequences if I didn't report. I was afraid that what was waiting for me was not just my mother's crying and yelling. In the past, my dad and grandma denounced me in the name of besieging Nizi, saying that I was a white-eyed wolf stabbing their hearts with a knife. What else can I do... The overall situation is settled, let's admit defeat. The world arranged by adults always has a bright future. The path we are going to take is ultimately wrong. At this moment, even my shadow looks gray. And I met him on such a day when I thought it was gloomy and my eyes were full of dust. I almost watched with a mournful face as I turned around and turned back, but was scraped by a bicycle riding fast on the side of the road. Fortunately, the momentum was not strong, otherwise the cyclist would not only fall four With my feet in the air, I also had to fall with a black nose and a swollen face.I just staggered a bit.The rider was unharmed and sat firmly on the seat, but he looked back at me. He was a social youth in his 20s, with two small eyes staring at me fiercely. I read two words in it, "unlucky"! At that time, I had an irrepressible urge, as if an unprecedented force was about to burst out. But the man rode away quickly. For a moment, the man's back seemed to overlap with my mother's back. My face was flushed from suffocation, and I leaned my body heavily against the blue mud wall of the alley. I squeezed my fist and smashed it straight down. As you can imagine, I was the only one who grinned in pain. Just then I heard a low male voice, "Be good, Pilu, be good, go home!" I poked my head forward slightly, and saw a boy in a white short-sleeved shirt in the alley, squatting not far from the alley entrance, stroking a large white dog. The dog stuck out its red tongue Licking the boy's palm, his eyes narrowed lazily, as if smiling. The young man stroked the dog's head and communicated with it, "If you don't go home again, I will lock you up next time." The sun shone into the alley, and the boy's face was almost transparent against the white shirt. For a moment, I felt my ears buzzing, and a strange feeling that I had never felt before seemed to swallow my heart in an instant. It seemed that the resentment just now had dissipated, and he just stood blankly by the corner of the alley, watching the young man talk to a beautiful and docile dog in a gentle tone. So far, I still can't explain why I was so attracted to it, just like a lightning strike, I can only stand still and watch the sparks fly. Is it the boy's gentle tone, or the delicate side face under the bright and clean light, or just the overall sense of this picture? Even now, I can't find the answer at all. It's a pity that the dog's vigilance seems to be stronger than that of the owner. Maybe it smelled a stalker, raised its head and barked in my direction. The boy patted the dog's back as if to comfort him. I panicked when I heard the dog barking, I was afraid that the big dog would rush out and bite, so I subconsciously shouted: "My God!" Then I fled in a panic towards the school regardless of my image. In a moment of panic, the boy's dark eyes met my terrified eyes. I think I will never forget the scene when I met him for the first time. The previous series of beauties drew a funny exclamation mark as I screamed and fled in a panic. It's just that I never thought that that boy would become my classmate. On the first day of school, I knew how far the gap between me and him was. He got the first place in the school, a grand slam in mathematics, physics and chemistry. Hearing his name, everyone was shocked. In fact, I also knew the name of this talented boy a long time ago: Jiang Zimo. I think if my grades are good enough, my mother might compare him with him all day long. Fortunately, the gap between me and him is not enough for my mother to use him as a spur to teach me. material. Me, sitting in the penultimate row of the classroom, the last one in grades. He sat next to me, also in the penultimate row, bearing the title of number one in the school. On the first day of school, the class teacher said impassionedly in front of the whole class: "Our class has the number one in the whole school, and at the same time, there is also the bottom one in the school. Now I arrange the seats of the two of them together. , that is, the advanced drives the backward.” Some of the new students in the class smiled disdainfully, some were whispering, and some even turned their eyes directly to me. Although the teacher in charge didn't call them by name, everyone didn't need to look at the student ID, just glance at the position next to Jiang Zimo to know who is holding back the class. The self-introduction in the next class completely shattered my self-esteem. The teacher said that the order is from the back to the front according to the student number. I was the first in the class to introduce myself. I didn’t have any mental preparations. In front of this group of top students and strict teachers, all the vitality was stripped away. "My name is Jiang Wei, Jiang Ziya's Jiang, the only Wei..." Before I could finish my sentence, someone laughed. The head teacher coughed lightly, "Keep talking, don't be nervous." "I come from Jiangcheng No. 6 Middle School. I love painting, nature, and all beautiful things. I hope to get along well with my classmates in the future...to win honor for the class." My mind went blank, and I couldn't remember what I said. I only heard a girl's sharp voice below, "As long as you are no longer the bottom one, you will win honor for our class." The girl and I looked at each other, she looked at me proudly with her chin raised, her eyes were full of disdain, I didn't know if my face was flushed from suffocation, I only knew that my face was getting hot quickly, and the class teacher was on the side Coughed again, "Remember to work hard, next one." I don't know how I walked back to my seat, I just felt that all the mocking eyes of my classmates fell on my face. I was extremely depressed, and a sense of humiliation that I had never felt before was like a thorn in my heart. This is a place where the rankings are used to compete in the world, and the fighting is extremely fierce. No one will sympathize with you, and no one will care about your self-esteem. They will only despise the title of the last one. For the first time, my feelings for my mother escalated from disgust to hatred. More importantly, I never thought that I would be the bottom one in the school and be ridiculed in front of the whole class. Looking at the distance between my desk and Jiang Zimo's desk, at most one person is wide, but it spans the distance of hundreds of people in the grade, maybe even more.Thinking of my mother's expression when talking to her colleagues, I now finally know what is meant by realistic irony. The students came to the stage to introduce themselves one by one, some were eloquent, some were few words, some were even more nervous than me, and some seemed to regard it as their own stage, and they gave me a speech in public just now. The embarrassing girl looked at the audience with her head upright as soon as she got on the podium with great confidence. Her name was Zhang Yiran, but she was not as good as her name. Her expression and posture gave people an overly strong feeling, and her words were also aggressive. " The reason why I am so good comes from my good tutor and my personal strong will. In the future, if you have any doubts, you can discuss it with me. I welcome it at any time.” I heard someone whispering, "Who does she think she is, such a drag." After her, the two boys introduced themselves humbly. Jiang Zimo walked past me, passing by a faint breeze. I looked at his back and was a little lost, but my heart was beating like a drum, without rhythm. I saw the warm and friendly smile of the head teacher when he was staring at him, and he did not hide his love for this outstanding student in his eyes. I remembered the harsh eyes of the head teacher when I came to the stage. The treatment is really different... I thought that a man of heaven like him, a super top student whom everyone envied, should be eloquent, at least this short time for self-introduction should be different from others, just like in the movie, when he speaks impassioned and inspiring , but the result was just the opposite. He briefly introduced his name and the junior high school he had attended. There are many boys who introduce themselves so concisely, but he is so surprising.Maybe it's because I've seen the same old routine a lot. I thought that such an excellent model like him would be asked to say a lot of high-sounding words by the teacher even if he didn't want to say too much. He quickly returned to his seat. Another gust of breeze passed by me, his breath was like the faint mint leaves in summer. After introducing myself, the head teacher said a few words about creating a better future, and then announced that everyone was free to move around. The voices in the classroom began to mix up, but I didn't expect that the first sentence of our conversation was initiated by him. "I'm sorry I scared you just now." My ears were hot, as if there was a hot steam smoky, I waved my hands, my smile was stiff, "No, no, your dog looks cute...is it a Samoyed?" "yes." "I heard that Samoyed is very docile." "right." With just a few simple sentences like this, it seems that I can't talk to him anymore, and I don't have the courage to chat with him all the time. That ended the conversation naturally. I held the newly purchased ballpoint pen in my hand, pursed my lips slightly, and the conversation of the students in the classroom became louder and louder. My eyes could not help but move slightly to the side, and I saw his white fingers resting between the black hair , the breeze outside the window blew gently, bringing the aroma of the grass and flowers in the garden, his neat hair trembled slightly in such a breath of wind, my finger pressed the tip of the ballpoint pen, on the slightly old desk Up, making a clicking sound, very subtle and low. For a long time since the beginning of school, I seldom talked with him. Even if the pen fell on the ground, he picked up these common plots for me. Maybe, except for the time when I was scared by his pet dog, I It is not the slightest intersection with him. Or maybe, my status as the bottom one in my grade is too ridiculous in front of him. But all of this can hardly stop the seed in my heart that I planted when I first saw him broke through the ground, germinated, and gradually grew branches and leaves. Is it just pure worship?Because in a world where grades are paramount to students, he is absolutely strong, while I am too weak to be worth mentioning. But not quite. The sound of the little girl on the upper bunk clamoring to go to the bathroom came over. I opened my chaotic eyes, watched the small bedside lamp in the carriage flashing a faint white light, and heard the movement of the little girl and her mother coming down. The young mother came down first, opened her arms to catch the little girl's weak body, slapped the little girl's buttocks, and signaled her not to make noise. I couldn't sleep at first, but I couldn't help smiling when I saw the little girl pulling her trouser waist and pursing her mouth. I was extremely tired all over. I took out my mobile phone from the pillow and checked the time. It was already two o'clock in the middle of the night. The interior is not quiet, the sound of tired passengers snoring one after another, some people will push and pull the door and walk around intermittently, and some whispers circulate in this narrow space. I sat up halfway, and picked up the magazine that I rolled up and threw in the corner. It was bought by Xin Chao to pass the time when she sent me to the station. She said that she loves to come to the train station. Fresh and vigorous, you can see all kinds of secrets of today's entertainment industry from the ancient harem for 5 yuan. It feels like eating a pot of Mala Tang, which is extremely enjoyable, which fully meets the characteristics of Xin Chao's love of chasing gossip.It’s just that the old man threw me here after reading it. I spread out the cover that was rolled like an egg roll, and wrote a line of small words on the blue cover: The furthest distance in the world is the distance between fish and birds. My eyes moved to the bottom of the magazine, and the curled and deformed font almost made me laugh out loud, "The peerless love between Chen Yuanyuan, a beauty of a generation, and Li Zicheng, a peasant leader, is a tragic song!!!" Looking at the three exclamation marks, I knew how shockingly fictional this gorgeous story was. No wonder Xin Chao's eyes were round and flat when he watched it. The man on the opposite side didn’t know what dream he was having. He was chewing loudly, moving his mouth from side to side, matching the sound of snoring one after another. I envied the person who could sleep so peacefully during the journey, and at the same time was not too disturbed, so I simply got off. My back was so sore from tossing and turning, I squeezed it and walked out of the box with my shoes on. The mother and daughter just came back, and the little girl asked me softly, "Auntie, did you get up and come out to play?" "We are so sorry to disturb you." The young mother said softly with some embarrassment. I shook my head, "I can't sleep by myself." There was a rustling sound, the small white light in the carriage went out, and the little girl's snoring also disappeared. I sat at the dining table in the aisle, half covered by the white transparent curtains, and the trees under the moonlight The image is the whirling fence passing by my eyes one by one, I look at the moon in the sky, alone, as if I am the only one sitting here in this long and narrow passage.But at this time, I didn't feel lonely in my heart, and I only thought about what Xin Chao asked me the night before, "It's really... hard to describe how it feels to miss someone, I just know it's hard, do you also so?" That kind of taste is indeed indescribable, only if you really like someone, you will allow that kind of taste to spread infinitely in your life, even though it is not good. Just, do you often miss it? These years, I actually don’t think of him very often. I have my studies, life, friends, and work. All kinds of people and things almost occupy the track I have walked in these years. The gap left is that I am occasionally in a daze Occasionally, because of some inadvertent thing, I lose my mind and miss it, just like stacking his shadow in the wooden box deep in my heart, it always sneaks into my mind unintentionally, and I rarely personally Go open the lid. Maybe it's because I've grown so much older, maybe it's because I met an old friend when I was young, maybe it's because I started a new manga... how can there be so many possibilities, it's from the time I met him again, I started Wooden The box, let that shadow wander around in my heart. I rested my chin and stared at the dark corridor in front of me. The wandering voice of the shadow in my heart was like the breeze blowing under the moon, as if blowing the white pages in the classroom in my memory, still with a faint fragrance of paper. This aisle is like a page of book paper being blown into a time tunnel by the wind. It is peeled off in front of me, and what I see is the aisle I must pass every day in the classroom. The regular desk is in the classroom. Arranged neatly, I in the first year of high school, with a cool short hair, carrying a white schoolbag, and wearing a school uniform, stood in the aisle, standing at this moment, standing in front of me, standing in the memory of the morning hair In the morning light, he showed a green and bright smile and waved at me. I slowly raised my hand and waved it to the young me. The silent moonlight shone on the back of my hand. I watched the moonlight move slightly, and the window screen touched the back of my hand. Everything seemed to be moving slightly with the rhythm of the train. Shake, click, click... The morning light was so white that it was almost transparent, I squinted my eyes slightly, the figure was shaking, the bell for morning reading rang, the footsteps were hurried and messy, and young voices followed one after another in the campus. "It's over, I'm late." "It's not good, the head teacher is standing at the door waiting for us..." The rush of the morning reading bell accelerated my nervousness. I could guess that the class teacher’s short and fat body was blocking the front door of the classroom, waiting for the students who were rushing forward with a serious face. Panting, I pushed the bicycle to the carport Because I was in a hurry, I quickly pushed the car into the gap, and it was too late to lock the car. I just wanted to rush to the classroom at the fastest speed, but my car didn't give me face at all. I just ran two steps , I heard the sound of a row of cars falling to the ground behind me. I stopped and turned my head to look, and sure enough, only one bicycle survived. I knew that I was doomed this time, so I had to grit my teeth and walk stiffly to help the bicycle. The morning reading bell stopped abruptly. I slapped myself on the forehead and sighed loudly: "Oh...why am I so unlucky!" It’s just that before my body was fully lowered to support those overlapping bicycles, I was startled by a figure beside me, “Hey, why are you so quiet…” As soon as I turned my head, I swallowed the remaining words in a panic. How could I have imagined that there was another him in this narrow and dark parking shed, who looked like a table but was far away from him? There is Jiang Zimo who has an intersection. I even stuttered, "Jiang Zimo... why are you here?" "I was here just now." He had no expression on his face and didn't look at me. After saying this, he began to lean over to help up the overlapping bicycles. My brain was buzzing, and I scolded myself for not having eyes. How come I didn't even see a single person in the carport, and the person I was paying attention to silently, he must have seen my embarrassment just now, slapping my forehead and wailing loudly... My face quickly became hot, but the situation did not allow me to be ashamed here, so I just ran away from him with a sullen head to help the bicycle. "Sorry to make you late, if you don't help me..." "If I don't help you, I'll be late too." He and I walked out of the carport, the morning sun shone on our faces, I lowered my head slightly, and saw the obvious stains on his white sleeves, I looked at my dirty palms, and quickened my pace to follow him, " Your sleeves are all stained." He said "Oh", as if he didn't care. I pursed my lips, slowed down my steps, and just followed behind him. Looking at his back, I felt an indescribable feeling in my heart. Even though he acted cold and distant, and that "ohhh" made me feel like I was talking too much, I couldn't hide the fact that being late today wasn't a bad thing. At least, I was late with him. I even naively thought that we are in the same trouble. Thinking about it, I looked at his back, couldn't help but raise the corners of my mouth, and even my footsteps became cheerful. It's just that when I saw the gloomy black face of the head teacher, I couldn't be happier anymore. Although I was also late, the treatment was obviously different. The head teacher had enough firepower to shoot at me, pointing at my finger and shaking it in front of my eyes Back and forth, "How dare you be late with such poor grades, let me tell you, Jiang Wei, I have nothing to say even if Jiang Zimo is late every day, but you, you are not enterprising, do you see that the bottom one is often late? ! If I remember correctly, this is the third time this month!" "I didn't settle accounts with you the first two times. Today, you stand at the back of the classroom for morning reading! Come to my office after morning reading class, do you hear me?" The head teacher's saliva sprayed my nose, I wanted to wipe it with my hand, but in front of the narrow-minded head teacher, I would only kill myself, so I had to lower my head and let the head teacher's saliva irrigate on top of my head. "Jiang Zimo, you...be careful next time and go back to your seat." When I followed Jiang Zimo into the classroom, the students who were studying all cast their eyes on me and Jiang Zimo, and even the sound of reading has dropped a lot. I think these eyes are not for me, and I will not go Xun Xun just put the schoolbag on the seat knowingly and wisely, took an English book and stood obediently at the back of the classroom. Wang Jun in the back seat of me smiled gloatingly. When I passed him, he was still singing the adapted New Year's song, "Congratulations, you're unlucky again today..." I raised the big English textbook over my face, too lazy to argue with Wang Jun, unlucky... Even if I was punished to stand here, I didn't feel that today was really unlucky, I read the English text, and as I read, my eyes endured He couldn't help but look in Jiang Zimo's direction. As always, he propped his head on his right hand and flipped the pages of the book with his left hand. I looked at the conspicuous stain on the sleeve of his left hand, and I couldn't help but pursed my lips tightly, but it was pleasant. The distance between me and him seemed to be getting closer. a little bit, a little bit... After the morning reading class that day, I was naturally called to the office by the head teacher and gave me a severe reprimand. After I came out of the office, I told myself in my heart that even if I couldn’t improve my grades by a large margin, at least I would not be late The obedient students who speak enthusiastically in class, even if they don't do it for the teacher to see, can't let the classmates underestimate me. But the sky didn't go my way, and I seemed to have made things worse and self-defeating. Now that I think about it, the head teacher at that time probably didn’t like me from the very beginning. Even if he put a knife on his neck, he probably wouldn’t give me a good look. When he praised in class, “Time is like It’s the water in the sponge, squeeze it and it will be there.” When I asked which student could make such an imaginative sentence, no one raised their hand, trying to change my image of not seeking to make progress in the teacher’s mind I raised my hand timidly. The teacher in charge looked at me speechlessly. He thought he could jump over my hand, but he couldn’t be blind, because I was the only one who raised his hand to save him. He had no choice but to call me After answering, the classmates looked at me with curiosity and suspicion, and I mustered up the courage to say loudly: "Time is like a cow's milk, just squeeze it." The homeroom teacher was looking at me with one foot on the ground, holding his fists in his arms, and he was still looking forward to it, but just as I finished speaking, his obese body tilted in anger. Somersault. The laughter of the classmates suddenly sounded in the classroom. I didn't think I was so funny at the time, but I thought I was speaking very philosophically. The teacher didn't let me sit down, so I sat down, and the head teacher who stood firm was angry. I have to point my stick at me, "Who told you to sit?" Not long after this incident, I fell into his taboo again. He personally punched a peephole in the back door. When we were in other teachers’ classes or self-study, he would peep there to see if we had any tricks. I didn't know at the time that the newly added hole was a monitor carefully prepared by the head teacher. I thought it was the door being gnawed by a mouse. After school at noon, I found some sawdust and stuffed it inside. When I found that the hole was blocked, I rushed to the classroom angrily and asked who did it. I didn't know the situation, I thought he wanted to praise me for caring about the class items, so I stood up happily and replied: "I did it." , Teacher Zhang.” The most troublesome thing is that I added, “Teacher, maybe the mouse made a hole in the wrong place, so I blocked the hole with sawdust.” He was so angry that his face turned green on the spot. But it’s not easy to get angry. I can’t admit that I’m that mouse in front of the whole class. I can only grit my teeth and let me sit down. After the teacher left, the students in the class all looked at me, most of them were laughing at me. So cute, I turned my head and looked at Jiang Zimo beside me, he looked at me silently, maybe he was the only one in the class who didn’t laugh at me in that situation, when I knew the truth, it was already too late, the head teacher It is estimated that after a few incidents, he regarded me as the heaviest bomb in the class to challenge his authority, and his attitude towards me became more severe and indifferent. Not long after that, my nightmare came. Just after the physics class was over, the classroom was full of noise, but I was told by the study committee member Zhang Yiran that the class teacher asked me to go to the office. I saw the corners of her mouth turned up unconsciously With a crooked and contemptuous attitude, I know that what awaits me is definitely not a good thing. "Mr. Zhang, are you looking for me?" I buried my head and walked to the head teacher's desk, but my eyes accidentally caught his round belly like a ball. The head teacher was drinking tea with the teacup in his hand, probably because he was replenishing the water and wanted to severely criticize and educate me. , and my line of sight happened to witness the moment when the buttons on his stomach jumped out with a large amount of underwater belly. Hastily reminded: "Mr. Zhang, your belly button is exposed." As soon as my voice fell, I was frightened by the laughter of other teachers in the office. "Oh, Mr. Zhang, it's time to lose weight!" The math teacher actually made a joke about Teacher Zhang just like that, and when I turned my head, I happened to see Jiang Zimo sitting next to the math teacher's seat, holding a thick book in his hand, turning his head slightly, I The flushed face met his eyes, which immediately changed from red to purple. I hated myself for telling the truth regardless of the occasion, and the target was the head teacher who loved face. Looking at the gloomy face of the head teacher, I couldn't help but start to mourn in my heart. I not only saw things that students shouldn't see, but also said that students should该说的话，如果今天我被叫过来是一顿思想教育，那么经过肚脐眼事件，完全可以升级为狂风暴雨的怒斥。 最令我难堪的和意想不到的，江子墨竟然也会在办公室。 可能将亲眼目睹我由小丑变成出气筒的全过程。 “姜唯，嗯哼……据反映，自习课最不安分的就是你，成绩这么差还不知道上进，上自习课你老是跟你后座的王均说什么话，老掉头做什么，啊？破坏纪律的是你，不安分的是你，迟到的是你，考试拖班级后腿的也是你，你倒是说说看，你到一中干什么来的，难道是来谈恋爱，搅课堂纪律的吗，还是要带坏那些成绩比你好的同学！” 我的脸一阵煞白，嘴唇几乎瑟瑟发抖，我知道班主任不喜欢我，但是有必要小题大做地上升到早恋吗，我只是跟王均借了两次胶带而已。 班主任见我一声不吭，以为我是默许了，叫骂声越来越大，估计要把之前对我的积怨全爆发出来，以解心头之恨，“你现在不要上课了，去把你家长喊过来，我要跟你家长好好谈谈，这样的学生，我不敢收！不像话！” 茶杯底座狠狠地砸在了办公桌上，发出充满威慑的响声，数学老师见班主任这个雷霆大作的架势也不开玩笑了，在一边劝道：“哎呀，张老师发什么脾气吗，姜唯我看基础虽然差了点，但这次考试还是有进步的嘛。” “哼，她进步是进步了，只可惜还是倒数第一名！我就是看不惯这种不三不四的学生，到学校就得好好学习，整天脑子里想什么乱七八糟的东西！” 我看到班主任那双混浊的小眼睛向我冒出鄙夷之火，我再也忍受不住这样毫无根据的污蔑了，尤其是竟然将我的人格一起踩踏，连不三不四这样难听的话都说了出来，我还有什么好忍耐的，脑子里像是炸开了一样，话也不经大脑地吼了出来，“张老师，你凭什么说我不三不四，我只是跟王均借了两次胶带，我问心无愧，你要是觉得我在谈恋爱搞破坏，那你就拿出证据来，你要叫家长要开除随便你，但是说话要讲证据，要不然只能是污蔑！” "you you……" 我已经记不得班主任当时什么表情了，我委屈得眼泪早流了一脸，根本不稀罕去看谁的反应，只记得冲出办公室的那一刻泪如泉涌，而办公室里则静悄悄一片。 我刚回教室，就不管不顾地趴在座位上哭了起来，像是受尽了奇耻大辱，教室里仿佛一下安静下来，安静得只能听到我的哭声。 几个同学围了上来，拍着我的肩膀，轻声问：“姜唯，你怎么了？” 另外一个声音不屑道：“张怡然打的小报告呗，最恶心她了，仗着自己是学习委员就爱装清高，其实在班主任那边搬弄是非最多的就是她，老师还整天说什么德智体美劳全面发展，我看她除了那点智其他屁都没有，打小报告出卖自己同学的人，人品最差劲了！” “唉呀，姜唯，别哭了，跟那种人较什么劲啊？王均也到办公室去了，到底怎么回事啊？” 我脑海里一直嗡嗡作响，已经做好了最坏的打算，大不了不上这个学了，能奈我何，反正我姜唯没做过的事情谁也别想屈打成招。 我抹干了眼泪，心里给自己鼓足了勇气，拿起抽屉里的书包就开始收拾起书本来。 “不是吧，回家啊？” 随着上课铃声急促地响起，同学们向我这儿打量一番后最终还是各就各位，我拿起书包想就这样从这间教室消失，没想到书包却在刚拿起的一刻被一只手给按住了。 我怎么也没想到，会是他…… 我抬起头来，攥紧的手渐渐松了力道，那双平静如水的眼睛就这样直直地注视着我。 “既然没做，你就不该走，不要放在心上，上课吧。” 恍惚间，我看见他跟我点了点头，虽然表情清淡。 而我的心在这一刹那间，仿佛流入了一股清泉，这种时候，我远想不到平日里很少主动和我说话的江子墨，竟然会安慰我，虽然这样的安慰也只是我心中所想罢了，对他，可能只是再简单不过的一件小事。 我乱糟糟的心得到了些许慰藉。 而班主任不知为何竟没有再找我的麻烦，王均也没有被调到其他的位置去，只是我的心中却对班主任埋下了深深的心结。 他的课我始终埋着头，他似乎也知道我为何这样做，上课也从不叫我回答问题。 虽然有这些负面的心境，但也无法阻挡我原本活泼的性格在这个看起来并不友善的环境里一天天显露出来，不再是初来乍到时的沉默，而是逐渐跟大家打成一片。 最关键的是，随着时间的推移，就算江子墨不和我主动说话，我也会装作非常自然地和他搭话。 表面上看起来因为班主任的关系这应该是我高中最憋屈的一年，可却因为江子墨的出现，阴霾的天空始终挂着一轮太阳，虽然朦胧，但也能感受到光和热。 其实现在细想起来，和他同班的那一年里，我留给他的印象，大多是不太美好的吧，像个男孩子，聒噪，反叛。 这也是我自觉最悲哀的地方。 可是，是从什么时候，我和他的名字总被一起提起呢，而且是在一番嬉笑声中。 是那次吧？ 同学们从班长的登记簿那里知道了我和江子墨竟然是同年同月同日生，再加上我们成绩首尾呼应的事实，后排的男生们便开起了我和他的玩笑。 那天下午我从楼下小卖部买东西回教室，便听见男生对着我起哄道：“姜唯，可喜可贺，你竟然跟我们的江大天才同年同月同日生，哈哈，回家问问，是不是同个时辰投胎的呢？” 我看向他的位置，江子墨不在教室。 男生们似乎从来不当我是女生，这点也许跟我性格大大咧咧有关系，还有我短得不能再短的发型，再加上成绩差，他们自然觉得我是那种开玩笑不会生气的女生，那时的我怕极了自己内心的秘密被人发现，于是掩饰心虚，怒吼道：“你们吃饱了撑的，关你们屁事，我跟他一毛钱关系都没有！” “哎呀，我们又没说你们怎么样，不就是同年同月同日生嘛，纯属巧合而已，我们只是搞不懂为什么你们的智商会差这么多！” 说着说着竟然做了个夸张的张手臂的姿势，以示我和江子墨智商相比极为遥远。 “你们是不是找死啊！” 大嘴姜鹏大笑了起来，眼珠子在我眼前一翻，“别急别急，我看给你们这个奇迹的巧合取个名字好了，江姜组合，怎么样，你看，连姓都差不多！哈哈！” 江姜组合…… 我作势就要往大嘴身上抽去，只是刚转过身，便见江子墨站在后门门框边，倚在那里一动不动地看着我们上演的这出闹剧。 我尴尬至极地呆站在原地，他到底是什么时候站在那里的？ 至今我仍不知道。 只记得他上课前，面容平静地问了我一句，“江姜组合，是指我和你吗？” 我摇头又不是，点头又不行。 只是摆了摆手，装作马大哈一样笑着，“姜鹏他们开玩笑的啦，拿我们的生日……”过了好久，只听到喃喃一声，“我也没想到。” 我木然地看着他的侧脸。 他莫名的这一句是什么意思呢，没想到什么，没想到我们是同年同月同日生吗，还是没想到竟然会和我被人一起调侃…… 这件事也许并不算什么吧。 我心中觉得最尴尬的，是那次楼道里的打架事件。 我被七班的三个人高马大的女生围攻，女生们打架向来是抓头发扇耳光，就算开发几个新鲜动作，也还会回到老套路，所以那天以一敌三的我，已经记不清被这三个杀红了眼的女生拔断了多少头发扇了多少耳光。只记得在一阵乱抓乱打后，我的嘴角被一个胖女生狠狠地抽出了血丝，脸颊也被指甲划破，被她们叫骂着从楼上推了下来，嘴角肿起来，短短的头发被抓得像鸡窝，极为狼狈的我，和背着书包刚进楼道的他，撞了个照面。 “今天算你运气！以后少管闲事！” 带头的女生冲我狠狠地啐了一口，然后扬长而去，估计是念及江子墨经常出入教师办公室的关系，抑或许是觉得在男生面前撒泼打架毫无形象可言。 我擦了擦嘴角的血迹，想躲已经来不及，只能硬撑着头皮冲他爽朗一笑，“幸亏遇到你了，要不然……” 我设想过他可能有的表情和话语。 却未料到在他的眼睛里只看到一丝丝冷意，那是我第一次见到他这副表情，估计是打从心底厌恶透顶了。 “打架很好玩吗？” 他乌黑的眼珠子就那样冷冷地盯着我的眼睛，一动不动。 我刚才强装出来的笑意僵在了嘴角。 "I……" 话未到嘴边，我已经找不到接下来的话语。 他垂下眼睛，一声不吭地从我身边擦肩而过，下楼而去。 不知过了多久，我才转过身来，站在走廊里看着楼下他远去的背影，火辣辣的脸颊像是被烙了一般，心中有种压抑的疼，仿佛比身上这些伤还要疼痛得多。 我想跟他解释，我不想打架，也不觉得打架好玩，我只是看不惯我在这个高中唯一的老同学林珍珍因为不肯把考卷给她们抄被她们天天恶语威胁，我只是不想看软弱的林珍珍被她们这样欺负下去。 可是我有什么立场向他解释呢？ 解释，只会显得自己太自作多情罢了。 那天回家我自然被老妈狠狠地骂了一通，就连家里烧菜的铁锅都被我妈愤怒地砸在了地上，要不是我爸及时救场，不知道要闹成什么模样。 我回到卧室，拿起镜子照着自己的脸，不禁苦笑起来，红肿的嘴角滑稽地向上飞扬着，像是红色龙虾的脚在镜子里对我张牙舞爪，这张平凡无奇的脸，除了一双还算大的眼睛，真的找不出任何吸引人的地方。我揪了揪自己的短发，对着镜子左照照右照照，脸上的狼狈伤痕让这张自己并不满意的脸看起来像足了小丑，他是不可能喜欢我的，我在做什么春秋大梦？ “打架很好玩吗？” 他的声音在我耳边反复地残酷地回放。 我嘿嘿傻笑了两下，揪住头发的手慢慢松开，垂落下来，镜子里的那张丑陋的脸此时更丑了，像是个被抓成一团的破纸，伤痕，皱巴的脸皮，红肿的嘴唇，眼泪，糊里糊涂地拧成了一团。 他应该很讨厌我吧，从今往后…… 只是我没想到，第二天他的座位，会是空着的。 不知为何我心中竟然有种不好的预感。 早自习过后，早餐时间，那些几乎天天在我们教室门前徘徊张望的女生把头夸张地伸进窗户里问我们班的同学：“江子墨今天没来学校吗？” “是啊，人家成绩那么好不来学校也没什么大不了。” 女生们失望而去。 直到下第一节课，班主任才满头大汗地从教室后门走进来，直接对着我命令道：“姜唯，跟我走一趟。” 我浑浑噩噩地跟着班主任走出校门，以为自己又犯了什么错被拿住把柄，是不是昨天打架的事情被他知道了呢？ 也许我走得太慢，班主任不耐烦地冲我喊道：“出租车来了，你磨磨蹭蹭的在干吗？” 我不知道班主任葫芦里卖的什么药，直到下车买完水果，才指着前头一个郁郁葱葱的大院子跟我说道：“这是江子墨的家，他昨天晚上被车撞到了，幸好伤得不重，轻微的骨折。” 我几乎脱口而出，“被车撞？” 班主任瞪着不算善意的眼睛看着我，“不要大惊小怪，你以为我让你出来是干吗的，你是代表全班同学来探视的。” 我嘴巴张了又张，最终没有问出口为什么选择的是我，心想也许是觉得我和江子墨坐的位置最靠近吧。 直到按了门铃，一个40多岁的中年阿姨开了门，满脸热情地招呼道：“哦，是张老师吧，你好，我是这家的阿姨，姓王。” “你好，你好，是的，我来看看江子墨。” “哎呀，真是不巧啊，子墨的爸爸前脚刚走，喏，车估计刚转弯，要不张老师先坐会儿，我打电话让司机掉头回来。” 班主任赶紧摇了摇手，笑得眼睛挤成了个豆子，“不用，不用，江先生公务繁忙，耽误了就不好了，以后有得是机会，有得是机会。” 我终于知道班主任这么卖力的原因了。 王阿姨招呼我们进了院子，好大的院子，好大好高的梧桐树啊，我还没来得及惊呼，便一眼看见梧桐树下坐在藤椅上看书的江子墨，浅蓝色的麻质衬衣，白色的长裤，裤脚微微卷起，而那只曾经对我狂叫的皮鲁正悠然地趴在他的脚边。 许是听到了脚步声，皮鲁的耳朵一下竖了起来，我立刻吓得打了个激灵，下意识地往王阿姨身后跑去。 王阿姨见状，笑得乐不可支，“孩子别害怕，皮鲁很乖，不会咬人的，再说了，还有我们在呢。” 我抬起头，看向美好得像一幅画的场景，人还在那里，狗也还趴着，只不过人却变了副面孔，从刚才的静态，变成了浅浅扬起的笑容。 我当时便傻愣在原地。 笑什么呢？ 是笑我怕狗的胆小样子吗？ 同时，我心里也松了一口气，他好像……没有讨厌我。 我小心翼翼地跟着班主任走到江子墨身边，江子墨看了看班主任手中拿的水果，礼貌地说：“让张老师费心了，我过两天就可以去学校的。” 班主任硬是把水果塞进了王阿姨的手里，转头对江子墨笑容满面道：“没关系的，养好身体最重要。你可是我们大家的希望。” 我盯着地上皮鲁眯起的眼睛，估计它也听不惯“你是我们大家的希望”这样的话，抖了抖脖子，张大着狗嘴打了个哈气，我不自觉地也跟着打了个哈气。 班主任努了努嘴，不满地看了我一眼。 我赶紧别过头去，却见江子墨正看着我，又转瞬收回视线。 估计是我脸上的划伤让他想起了昨天他所厌恶的那个场景吧。 我只看出他的脚踝包裹着白色的纱布。 骨折电视里不是都演的把脚挂床头吗？也许是班主任小题大做搞错了吧，只是小伤而已。 回去的路上，班主任盯着我的嘴角和脸一阵臭骂，估计是忍了很久才爆发，“姜唯，你自己说，你脸上的伤怎么回事，一个脸上挂彩，一个脚上受伤，你跟我老实交代，你们两个是不是昨天打架了？” 我百口莫辩，只能张大着嘴巴看着眼前这个想象力超群的班主任。 班里的同学得知江子墨受伤的消息，跟着纷纷议论起来。 姜鹏当着所有人的面指着我脸上的伤痕笑道：“江姜组合这次一起挂了！真是巧啊！” 巧吗？ 也许真有点。 可只有我知道，那确实跟我没有一点关系。 他养伤回来的那个早晨，姜鹏凑热闹地把脸伸到我的面前，反复地盯着我的脸瞅，我知道这个大嘴又要口无遮拦地开玩笑了，只是没想到他会脱口而出那样一句让我面红耳赤的话，“盼星星盼月亮终于把人家盼回来了吧，江子墨，你不知道，姜唯这几天那叫一个望穿秋水啊，老是看着你的空书桌叹气呢，哈哈！” 江子墨正在把书包里的书安静地往桌面上放，没有答理他，姜鹏肆无忌惮的笑声却故意放高，并且夸张地叉起了腰做仰天狂笑状。 “有完没完啊你，你哪只耳朵听见我叹气了，再胡说八道，小心你的车胎！” 姜鹏没想到我会这么说，惊得眼睛瞪得老大，忙改口道：“哎呀，男人婆……不，美女，念在我跟你都姓姜的分儿上，饶了我这回吧，我家可不像你家住得离学校这么近，而且我是贫困户买不起新车胎啊。” 教室里其他来得早的同学都被姜鹏的话逗笑了。 江子墨也不例外。 我赶走姜鹏这个大嘴瘟神后，心中默哀起来，作为一个女生我的形象经营得实在太失败了，被叫男人婆也就算了，还被自己暗恋的对象亲眼目睹与老师争吵，和人打架，还有威胁刺人车胎。 我的所作所为，和班里那些娇滴滴的女同学相比，还能称之为女生吗？ 那天学校接到通知，省里和市里的领导要来卫生大检查，平日里三天打鱼两天晒网的打扫卫生活动被校长在晨会上提为比课业还要重要的事情。 于是各个班级一下晨会，便被班主任和劳动委员带着打扫教室和所属自己班级的包干区，全校上下，忙得热火朝天。 班主任两手一划拉，就指着我和王均、谢雨辰、江子墨4个人去实验楼后面打扫树叶和垃圾。 王均拿着笤帚满脸郁闷地抱怨道：“凭什么其他人打扫操场，我们要去那个鬼地儿啊，真晦气。江子墨，要不然我们两个去操场吧，班主任反正又不看着。打扫完了，姜鹏他们说去体育室借篮球打呢。” 我走在后面，看着江子墨的背影，却因为隔得不是太近，听不到他完整的声音，大体意思是拒绝了。最后王均一个人拍着脑袋走了。 谢雨辰冲着王均的背影骂道：“你这个人怎么这么自私啊，分好的活儿凭什么让我们3个人做！” 我拉了拉谢雨辰的手，“算啦，又没人管，叫他他也不会回来的。” 于是我们3个人只好走到了实验楼后面，谢雨辰神经兮兮地指着我们眼前的这口枯井，我们都听过这个井的恐怖故事，据说曾经有个长发女生在这里跳井身亡，从此封了起来。每个学校都不例外地会有个鬼故事，不是发生在学生宿舍，就是发生在实验楼传达室这些地方，而且都是一个长发女鬼。 就因为这个传言，大家去实验室都觉得阴森可怖，更有夸张的同学搓着自己的胳膊直喊冷。男同学更是借这个机会拼命地吓唬胆小的女生，然后每次去上实验课总是一番尖叫和闹腾。 很少有人敢走到楼的后面来，只因为那口被大铁盖封起来的枯井。 “哎呀，大白天的，不要怕啦，又不是只有我们俩。” 我指了指已经在清扫树叶的江子墨。 谢雨辰愤然道：“王均胆子小不敢来，让我们3个人在这里弄，这要什么时候才能弄完啊，我真是一秒都不想在这里待。” 江子墨听到我们叽叽咕咕，抬起头来看着我们，声音听起来仿佛毫不在乎，“你们要是不敢在这里待，都可以走。” 谢雨辰像得到特赦一样，丢下手中的笤帚拉着我就要走，且小声道：“他不怕鬼，就让他一个人弄吧，我们走。” “你真好意思让他一个人打扫这里啊？这么多东西。”我看着谢雨辰的脸，轻声道。 “有什么不好意思的，他是男生，阳气重，不像我们女生容易招鬼。不是我吓你啊，现在我都觉得冷得要死。你不走我走。” 谢雨辰临走时拍了下我的胳膊，“知道你们是江姜组合，你要心软随你便。劳动委员那边儿你帮我编一下啊，就说我拉肚子。” “哦，好的。” 我无语地看着谢雨辰逃命似的跑得飞快，刚才分明还骂王均骂得起劲呢。 无奈地捡起躺在地上的笤帚，走到江子墨身边帮着扫了起来，他却停下手中的动作，问我：“你不怕鬼吗？” 我随口回道：“怕啊，可是总不能把你一个人丢这里干活吧，那得打扫到什么时候啊。” 没有再说话，他继续安静地扫叶子，我蹲下来把那团叶子放到袋子里，被灰呛得转头，他一把扯过袋子，像看白痴一样地看着我，“你慢慢放，灰这么重。” "Oh." 尘土在阳光下像细碎的沙粒在飞扬，我虽然厌恶这种灰尘扑面而来的感觉，但是心里却是开心的。 在这样一个本该是可怖的地方，因为只有我和他两个人，而变得温馨起来，虽然这只是我自己内心的小想法。 我边倒叶子，边问他：“江子墨，你胆子真大，刚才竟然让我和谢雨辰都走，你就不怕那个女鬼把你拖到井里去啊？” 他本是看着袋子里的叶子，不知为何却突然抬头直直地看着我，黑亮的眼睛仿佛一下暗沉下去，我被他看得手足无措，满是灰尘的手僵在了袋口边，那一眼在记忆里非常漫长，我读不懂他眼里瞬间黯淡下去的东西，他好像意识到自己的眼神会惊到我，收回视线，像是自言自语，时至今日我仍记得他说这句话时游离的神态，“这个世界，真要是有鬼魂的存在就好了。” 他的睫毛就这样淡淡地垂了下来，阳光仿佛也黯然下去，在眼睑下投射出两道黑色的阴影。 周身像是笼罩了层层阴郁的他，我从未见过。 却深深烙在了我的心底，连同记忆里在我们四周漂浮的灰尘。 那天打扫完后，他去了篮球场，我远远地看着他进了球，他是否因为进了球而开心地笑我看不清楚，我只是在心底默默许愿，但愿，他会忘记那些他心底不开心的事情，多点笑容。 这只是我一个小小的心愿，只有我知道。虽然那时的我，并不明白，他眼底流露出的伤怀，是为了什么。 那一年的光阴过得很快，挥别高一，迎接的便是高二文理分班，能从脾气暴躁不喜欢我的班主任那里脱身，告别爱打小报告看我不顺眼的张怡然，且在期末考试摆脱了倒数第一这个不光彩的名次，这一切原本是很痛快的，可我却始终高兴不起来。因为挨着我的座位坐着的，再也没有一个人，叫做江子墨了。 想起期末成绩单发布的那个夏日的午后，我脑海里便自然地涌出了“悲伤”和“不舍”这几个让人无法释怀的字眼，教室里喧闹一片，班主任说了几句话就出去了，同学们唧唧喳喳地讨论着选文科理科对未来发展方向的问题，我却一个人无比静默地坐在自己的座位上，低着头，看着空空如也的桌面。 姜鹏走过来问我：“你选文科是吧？”