Chapter 35 Chapter 35 Spinning Top Youth

I danced from one man's arms to another man's arms, my posture was very devoted, and my spirit was not intoxicated. I am radiant because of my calmness, and sad and moving because of my sinking, just like a colorful spinning top, spinning constantly, but I can't stay. Such a day is not tonight, but tomorrow night. I have always wanted to find a little truth in the group of men chasing me, just a little bit. However, no. There is a lot of feasting and debauchery here, but there is no true love. As the chief reporter of a provincial newspaper, my social circle is not narrow. The so-called talking and laughing has celebrities, no blue-collar contacts, and the worst is a working emperor with a monthly salary of 50,000.Because of my beauty, my style, and my ups and downs in the social arena, they all fell in love with me under the long plain dress.The long skirt dances into a huge night lily, the petals touch the greedy and utilitarian people, but no one can peep at the flower core.

So I am very lonely. Even if you sing and sing every night. And so, there's that end-of-summer post-feast booze. The wine is real, red, ambiguous and seductive, served in an exquisite tall crystal glass.It is said that each cup of that kind is worth a month's salary of an ordinary worker, and a bottle of that kind of wine can buy a worker's hard work for two years.I drank their blood and sweat for half a year. But the drunkenness was still fake, even though POOL deliberately took the wrong road when he sent me back and I never told him, even though he pretended to help me, he took the opportunity to ask for a kiss and he was half-hearted.But I understand in my heart that I don't refuse, not because I like it, but because I am lazy.Too lazy to refuse.

When he helped me, who thought I was drunk, to rest on the sofa in the lobby of a luxury hotel, and ran to check in, I quietly left. Walking crookedly on the moonlit Indus Road, my heart was stabbed by the coolness of the night, and I waved a "motorcycle", sat on the back seat of the young man's car, and clung to his youthful heart. Broad shoulders, my cold wet T-shirt printed on his back. He turned his head slightly: "Miss, are you crying?" "No, I'm just in tears." I answered honestly. When he passed a row of food stalls, he stopped the car and asked me, "I want to stop for a few minutes for a glass of draft beer. Are you in a hurry to go back?"

I got out of the car first with one leg on my side: "Give me a drink too." We sat side by side at a barbecue stand by the roadside, drank the low-quality draft beer mixed with water, and listened to his history of struggle: a countryman in the Northeast, came to the South after graduating from high school, worked part-time, and worked in a magazine during the day Worked as an editor, went to night school at night, and borrowed a friend's motorcycle to make money when he was not in class.Ask about age, but only two years younger than me, but looks so young.And I, at the age of 27, seem to have gone through 27 reincarnations, and I am already tired and old.

He took a sip of draft beer comfortably, squinted his eyes and asked me: "Are you 20 years old? Are you a college student?" I smiled: "This is the most beautiful compliment I've ever heard. I'm over 30 years old, and my daughter is already in elementary school." Seeing his face full of surprise but believing it, I laughed out loud, and I felt that feeling in my heart again. Soft pain: so young, so young to be so credulous. Later I learned that he was not credulous, he was actually quite shrewd and scheming, he just didn't defend me. I like his defenselessness.

I fell in love with him. My girlfriend scolded me: "Crazy? This kind of ambitious and talented young bastard has eight hundred if not one thousand. Be careful that your fame will be ruined in the hands of unknown people." I replied calmly: "Yes, I just want a back-to-basics relationship. Do you know? Other men have been busy recommending which hotel has the best interior atmosphere and the strictest confidentiality service after they have known me for three days. But he knows It's been 3 months, but I haven't kissed me yet. But this man is the only one I want to get close to, so I have decided to marry him."

"Marry?" My girlfriend exclaimed, "You want to marry a wage earner who doesn't even have a registered permanent residence in the same city? Do you think men are crazy about you? In my opinion, I'd rather be a POOL lover than be the wife of such a person!" "Enough." I interrupted her gently: "Stop insulting him and me, he is already my fiancé husband." The girlfriend calmed down, took a deep puff of a cigarette and thought for a while, but still couldn't help persuading: "Think about it again, I know it's not easy for you to wander to the south alone and struggle until today, and I also know that you want to have a home and find someone to love well You, but he is not suitable for you. Not because of his poverty, but also because of his youth, but after three days, the Heat let go. I really can't let go, even if we live together first, marriage is a big deal after all."

I smiled and rubbed my girlfriend's hair: "So enlightened? I dare not say eternity, but I believe that he really loves me now, without any fake love. I want to have a home with him, even if he only loves me One day, I want the truth of this day; he only loves me for one year, and I want the truth of this year. In short, I have truly lived, and if I get it, I will not regret it!" When winter came this year, I became his bride.On the wedding night, a blush was shocking, he hugged me and wept with joy: "You are so kind, you are better than I thought! I will treat you well for the rest of my life."

After marriage, I tried my best to use all the connections I could use to make him famous in the cultural circle.Newspaper offices are usually better informed than magazine offices. I always disclose the latest and most complete information to him. He is very smart and hardworking. , One or two channels are all in the palm of your hand.So I went home with peace of mind and became a full-time wife. I thought that from then on, the golden house would hide the beauty, but unexpectedly, I made a donation for the autumn fan.I, who has been washed away, is no longer bright and charming, and he, who has achieved success, is no longer gentle and no longer in love.Two years later, many young, beautiful and charming Yingying Yanyan replaced me.

I didn't beg, I didn't cry, I endured tears and signed my name on the divorce agreement. At the same time, I prayed in my heart: No, it won't end like this. It's my fault, and I didn't make progress together with him.I must go back to the newspaper office, shine again, catch his eye again.I want to tell him with my strength that I have not changed, and I can still cooperate with him and help him as I did two years ago. I did it. I soon became famous again.With the charm and elegance of a mature woman more than two years ago, I will only be more popular in the social circle than in the past.

I carefully avoided meeting with him, but deliberately arranged work related to him.A year has passed like this.During the year, I always paid attention to his news. I heard that he has increased the circulation by tens of millions. I heard that he set up an ISBN to publish some books at the same time. Someone changed... I waited quietly. Then, we "ran into" each other at a fancy dinner. The host of the banquet is an influential celebrity in the circle, and he is involved in all the work related to writing in the city. All the cultural people in the city, including the outer cities, are all proud to be eligible to participate in this banquet, and I am The hostess of the party. Among the flowers blooming, I am the most beautiful and colorful branch, no one knows that it is in full bloom. Thirty-year-old women are often abnormally charming, and when you understand the stunning beauty of the sunset and the poignant beauty of autumn maple trees, you also understand me. My twirling dance attracted the attention of the audience, the envious ones, the proud ones, the regretful ones: the envious one is a man, the one who is jealous is a woman, the one who is proud is the master, and the one who regrets is an old friend——I clearly saw my ex-husband Can't hide the regret in his eyes, he is still defenseless in front of me as before.I'm drunk. I followed his gaze to the balcony.As expected, he quickly followed and said softly, "Come back with me, I miss you!" The millennium of waiting is just for this sentence, because I want to "go back" and return to the home we once shared! On the way back, I kept wrapping around his waist tightly, as if I was afraid of losing him again, imagining what he was going to say to me.He will definitely tell me that he has been regretting this period of time. Although there are so many beauties around him, his heart must be as lonely and hungry as mine.He will recall the time we spent together in the past, recall our first meeting, and ask me if I miss him crying after the farewell... I went back to the home where we had been apart for a year but seemed to be seeing each other again. Before I could feel emotional, I was hugged tightly by him. The sudden passion was like a river breaking its embankment. It made me think of the shy big girl in my first marriage. The boy suddenly felt strange. I obediently took off the expensive evening dress, and completely dedicated the most sincere love of a woman in the most primitive way.I wait for the clear clouds and the gurgling brook after the storm. Finally calm, I put my arms around his neck and murmured: "Did you miss me these days?" "Of course." He dealt with it perfunctorily, turned around and fell asleep, and soon there was an even snoring sound. I was stunned, looking at the ceiling wanting to cry without tears.Is this what I've been waiting for for a year?I waited for him, waited for my husband to come back, waited for a lost beauty and a broken heart, and waited for a lover who knew me and pity me, not this "male body" who was in harmony with the world.I didn't know until this moment that this is no different from the host of the banquet in POOL three years ago, but I still want to believe that this one is sincere... I quietly opened the door and walked out, the cool night wind pierced my heart aching. It's late summer again. A "motorcycle" drove by slowly, and I raised my hand to stop it.The biker was a very young guy with broad shoulders and a hot body.While driving, he turned around and asked me, "Miss, are you crying?" "No," I replied wearily, "I was just in tears."