Chapter 34 Chapter Thirty-Four

I have always loved roses. However, our roses never bloom for more than a day. Because there is no love. When I was 19 years old, my favorite place was the music tea room "Rose Show" in Futian District, because the lady who spent there could get a free rose.So I often took my boyfriend A Cheng to have afternoon tea. Cheng is a poor college student who can only afford the minimum consumption of 10 yuan for a pot of tea, and then picks up the most delicate and most beautiful rose and hands it to me affectionately.So the four eyes met like glue, and they could look at each other for a whole afternoon without saying a word.Then with a satisfied smile on his face, he held hands and went to the food stall to eat noodles.

The preservative-added rose never blooms or fades in front of my bed. It has no fragrance, but it is gorgeous and can burn without heat for a whole week. I call that love. Later, Cheng went abroad to study, and I helped each other with all my money, and made an appointment to wait for the end of time. Wait seven years. In the past seven years, I started to learn how to grow roses, and at the same time condensed all kinds of lovesickness into words. Gradually, the story of roses spread all over the country, and I became an idol in the hearts of young men and women, the embodiment of love.

The desk is filled with roses sent from all over the country.Enthusiastic readers asked me over and over again: "Is your trip back? Did you send you 999 roses?" However, Cheng never returned.What came was a breakup letter that was more like a love letter than a love letter.He said in the letter, I was born a charming princess, and I should live the best and most beautiful life, but even if he returns from school, it does not mean that he has achieved success, and he cannot give me rich clothes and food. He has found someone who is just like him. An ordinary and simple female student abroad, she is his wife who can share joys and sorrows; and me, he blesses me to find my king and continue my worry-free career as a rose.

I burned the letter and buried it in a rose pot to make flower fertilizer. Roses die. Half a year later, I got married, to my king, a jeweler with assets worth hundreds of millions. In Shenzhen, where every inch of land is expensive, he actually has a garden as big as a playground.But I never grew roses again. My jewelry husband once gave me a basket of roses, but they withered before dusk. Roses need love, and so do I. I am like a whale in a goldfish bowl, hungry and thirsty day and night. At this time, I received an invitation from a magazine in Qinghai to attend a pen meeting in Dunhuang.

I am glad to go. The person in charge of the Dunhuang Museum of Art received us. His surname was Lun, and his name was Lun Zihan. Weird surname, weird name, I remembered it right away. He said he had read my novels and we got to know each other very quickly.Then I knew that he majored in fine arts in college, and went abroad to study oil painting for two years at his own expense. Because of his love of Dunhuang art, he volunteered to be assigned to the desert. I don't understand, because I feel that ancient Chinese paintings are not as good as European paintings, they are too flat and single, too idealized, the colors are not full, and they lack three-dimensional beauty.He was not convinced, and first argued with me, citing the dynamics of "Wu Dai Dangfeng" and the richness of Tang Sancai, but after all, he is not as eloquent as I am, and gradually he is the only one who listens to me.But he would still point to a mural and ask me from time to time: "What about this one? How about this one? And this one, isn't the expression vivid?" Seriously like a child, I couldn't help being slightly moved.

One day while chatting, he mentioned that a mirage appeared not long ago in the nearby Mu Us Desert.Infinite Romance flashed through my mind, and I wanted to watch it right away.He hesitated: the road is very long, and it takes a week to go back and forth, and the sea market is not common—— But I insist. Zihan couldn't refuse. When a person knows that the request of the other party is unreasonable but still cannot refuse, if he is not afraid, then he is in love. Zihan has fallen in love with me. I know. Zihan brought two camels to accompany me on the journey. We arrived at Mu Us at noon on the fourth day and went deep into the desert.

It was a shocking expanse. In the desert, all kinds of twists and turns and subtle emotions receded, leaving only the naked and true original love. There are only me and Zihan left in the world, cuddling each other from ancient times to this life.Zihan's face suddenly became serious, and he looked at the sky solemnly and said shortly: "There is a storm, but don't worry, it will pass soon." Before I could hear it clearly, thousands of troops and horses had already laid down the land, and their momentum was unstoppable.In the city, it has never been imagined that nature can be so fierce.The world is chaotic, and the universe is prehistoric. I grasped Zihan tremblingly, as if grasping the only support of the end of the world.

His eyes were serious and determined, and I was relieved. At this time, seeing the calmness of the camels, they automatically lay down and lay down with their necks crossed, setting up a meat screen. Zihan and I hugged each other and hid behind the screen. The sand is advancing like a flood, and the wind is like weeping, as if telling an unknown ancient story buried in the desert. I lay in Zihan's arms and fell asleep peacefully amidst his loud and rhythmic heartbeat. There is no dream. It was already dusk when I woke up, the setting sun was like blood, shining like a pair of birds with the same fate on the horizon, it was absolutely desolate and beautiful.The desert calms down at this time, and the sea water is as undulating as combing through, infinitely gentle.

Zihan Anxiang's sleeping dimple is as holy as a baby's, and he is handsome and bright even if the wind and sand can't hide it.I couldn't help but kiss deeply. Zihan opened his eyes at this time, I kissed his forehead lightly, and smiled in the sunset, I believe that my smile at that moment was as bright as a rose. He embraced me with open arms, as if embracing his own heart. Two camels sleeping with their necks together lie majestically in the setting sun like sculptures, and in the desert of the rest of their lives, I see the ultimate love. When Dunhuang broke up, his eyes showed pain like cutting flesh and gouging out the heart.

I promised: "One month later, I will come to you after completing the divorce procedures." He said: "When the time comes, I will wait for you in the town, and I will wait for a full week, from sunrise to sunset." He said he would wait for me for seven days. I have waited for others for seven years. What you wait for is not a reunion. The long train took me into the time tunnel and returned to the city. I was submerged in modern civilization again, and the setting sun in the desert suddenly became a scene from another world. When I lay in the large and comfortable wooden bathtub made in Russia, and washed away the dust all the way with the fragrant bath lotion, I knew that I would never return to the desert again.In fact, I can't do without many of the most trivial and real personal enjoyments that urban life can give me.

Everything in Mu Us is, in the final analysis, just a mirage myth. I was not an angel of love. I'm just a selfish, vain, plain little woman. No one would believe that an innocent female writer known for her romantic love stories resolutely gave up what she thought was the purest and most beautiful love, just because she was more attached to wooden bathtubs and toilets. I planted dahlias in the garden. Tea Mi, belonging to Rosaceae, has hooked thorns on the stem, leaves like feathers, and white fragrant flowers, which are the last flowers in summer. "It's time for the flowers to bloom."When the tea flowers bloom, the flower season will end, and all stories, no matter whether they have an ending or not, have to end. It's a pity that Zihan has reached Tumi. The sun was shining brightly, and I was sitting under the tea stand reading a book. I don't take the characters in the book for granted, it's just that there is nothing else to do. Nothing will do either. I can't write a story anymore. In the past, I wrote about the separation of labor and swallows, and let the protagonist's eyes shed my own tears; I also wrote about the full moon, and fulfilled my long-cherished wish in my pen.But now I've been through it all.The most beautiful and unforgettable love is nothing more than that; the most tragic and helpless ending is nothing more than that.No matter how thrilling the heart-stirring story is, it is nothing more than that when it comes to life. I sat under the tea stand and smiled wryly. At this time the nanny said that a guest was coming. I covered my forehead with my hand and narrowed my eyes. Zihan stood in front of the Tumi flowers covered in sunlight, with sharp edges and corners, out of place, and his eyes were hot and burning. He was no more free and easy than me. It would never have occurred to me to fly to England to ask for an answer. But he wants to. I showed him a gold box.The box is full of unopened letters, from the desert, from Dunhuang.I treasure them, the ones I once loved the most.But don't read it letter by letter.If you don't read it, you can imagine the content of the letter to your heart's content. I am only willing to fantasize. I sighed, "I'm a whale trapped in a goldfish bowl. I'm not free, but it's better than a desert." Roses cannot be raised in the desert either.But my home can at least feed me. His face suddenly paled.Looking at me, he nodded and shook his head again, but he didn't say anything after all.What is there to say, there can be ten million reasons, but there is always only one real reason, that is, not enough love. After a long time, he bent down and walked through the flower stand. I watched him walk away without blinking, deeply remembering that this is how the love of my life walked out of my life. Zihan disappeared into the tea bushes, and all the geese passed by without a trace, only the faint fragrance of the tea flowers floating in the evening. It's time for the flowers to bloom. Zihan, you are the last sweetheart in my life.