Chapter 7 Chapter 4 The Surge of Darkness you are my last love

the love between us, It's like staging a grief that has nowhere to go. So much, so long, all open at your fingertips. It blooms into enchanting and gorgeous flowers, exuding the fragrance of datura. The blue planet turns between me and your arms, whispering. That kind of singing floats into the distance, and the sound is lingering. In the end, there was only a dumb ending—— Just want to leave. Leaving your side, leaving the hurt from the pain of memories. I once hoped that the withered flower on the windowsill would open.Because Nuo Qiao said that in that case, she will come back and never leave again. It's a pity that the Tao is one foot tall and the devil is one foot high. I think I will be the two hundred and five in her palm for the rest of my life. Most of the heart was given to her, but she thought it was dirty, so she didn't want it. She said that if the heart didn't beat for her alone, she said she would rather not have anything.In fact, I already knew that from the very beginning, I couldn't leave her side, probably because of my Oedipus complex.

——Excerpt from Lu Chuanzi's Quotations It was a long-lost weekend, so Su Banxia slept until nine o'clock in the morning before getting out of bed. To be precise, she did not wake up naturally, but was awakened by the loud sound of her grandmother slamming on the door.Moreover, while the grandmother was banging on the door of her room, she yelled loudly, "Little bitch! Why don't you wake me up? How long do you want to sleep? You're going to die! Sleep, sleep! Are you a pig?" It's annoying to watch! Get up! Do you hear me? Get up!" The dark green curtains blocked the light from the window, Su Banxia opened her sleepy eyes in a dark space.She frowned tightly, clenched her teeth, clasped her fingers together, and her eardrums buzzed.At this moment, in her brain, a thought suddenly surged like a tide:

——She wanted to kill the old woman who was beating and screaming outside the door. Wanted to kill her, wanted to kill her, now, wanted to kill her. Su Banxia looked at the yellowed ceiling and thought dully.Suddenly, she jumped up from the bed, opened the drawer of the cabinet, and quickly took out a pair of scissors inside. Red, sharp scissors specially used to slice open fish stomachs that exude a strong stench. The blade was shining with a cold light. Then, she didn't think about anything, but took a last look at the scissors in her hand, held them tightly, walked to the door with her bare ankles, opened the door, and received a sudden slap in the slightly dazzling sunlight .

The sound of "--pa" hit Su Banxia's right cheek heavily, leaving only burning pain and swelling. "Damn thing! You still know it? I've been knocking for so long, are you trying to exhaust me to death?!" In the living room with a musty smell, Su Banxia stood motionless, her hair was scattered on her right cheek, and her expression could not be seen. The fingers holding the scissors suddenly strengthened. The grandmother squinted at Su Banxia with cold eyes and hummed strangely, raised her dry and cracked fingers and poked Su Banxia's smooth forehead hard, again and again, the rough and clear pain spread from the grandmother's fingertips all the way to Every nerve and every cell of Su Banxia's body.

"You little bastard! What time did you come back last night? Do you think I don't know? Oh, you are just like your damn mother. You must be messing around with men outside. Be careful one day you will Big belly! Shameless thing! If you dare to embarrass me, look, I will not break your legs!" The sharp and harsh hoarse voice rose high. Su Banxia lowered her head, but still didn't make any sound. She just stared at the ground dully, her eyes loose, like broken glass beads. After a while, the grandmother finally walked away from her angrily.Turn around, open the door, and go downstairs.

Su Banxia knew that her grandmother would definitely go to play mahjong again, and she would lose every time, so she had to try her best to pay off the debt for her grandmother.And grandma never appreciates it. "boom--" The sound of closing the door echoed in the ears, hitting the eardrum directly, Su Banxia slowly raised the scissors in her hands, held them in front of her eyes, and said in her heart, don't kill her, if I kill her, I will lose, I'm not going to let her gloat watching me go to jail, not even die. ——So, don't kill her. Ten o'clock in the morning.

Su Banxia ate the meals, steamed buns, pickles and gruel that she had just prepared by herself. The red scissors were placed on the greasy table, and the sharp ports were glowing with cold silver light spots.The phone in his pocket suddenly rang. Su Banxia hesitated a little, then took it out, and the name "Zhiwei" was displayed on the screen. Seeing this name, she would only unconsciously feel soft warmth in her heart. After pressing the answer button and saying "Hello", Zhiwei's soft and cute voice came from the other end of the phone. "Ban Xia, it's me."

"Ok." "Then what are you doing?" Her voice sounded a little hesitant, and also mixed with some inexplicable bewilderment. There must be something unspeakable. "I'm eating, are you...what's the matter?" Su Banxia asked instinctively, even though she didn't have any room to cut to the chase. "Hmm..." With a hesitant voice, Su Banxia patiently waited for Zhiwei's next words. After a long time, Zhiwei finally spoke again, "Banxia, ​​can you... can you lend me some money?" "Money?" Su Banxia froze for a moment, then frowned, because she subconsciously thought of Lu Chuanzi's joking expression of patting her cheek with a stack of cold and rotten banknotes last night, and she suddenly felt My mind went blank, and I didn't have time to think about it before asking, "Are you going to lend it to Lu Chuanzi?"

"Huh?" Obviously, Zhiwei's short "huh" meant to ask "how did you know?" However, soon, Zhiwei responded honestly, "Yes...yes, Ban Xia, you are right." "Lu Chuanzi is not a good person." Su Banxia said bluntly. There was a moment of silence, only the sound of the wind in the room, small and faint. "Ban Xia..." After a long time, Zhi Wei's helpless voice finally came from the phone, "You don't need to lend me money, but I don't want you to speak ill of him..." Su Banxia frowned, paused, and then continued: "I can find a way to lend you any money you want, and I don't care if you don't pay it back. But, Zhiwei, if you want to lend it to that I will never agree to what people say, and you will regret it sooner or later." After speaking, Su Banxia hung up the phone involuntarily.

——Long-term pain is worse than short-term pain, isn't it? But, Zhiwei, can you really understand my intentions?Maybe, you will never understand, and you won't understand, that's why I'm so scared, as long as I think of you being played around by that boy, I can't even eat. Su Banxia's fingers held the chopsticks tightly, a certain piece of silent land in her heart was like a heart that had been bombed by an atomic bomb and was covered in ashes. It's really hot. The windows were open, and the cicadas were screaming like tears. Midsummer is so long. Zhiwei put down the phone in her hand, and there was a silent echo in her ears.

Su Banxia's phrase "Lu Chuanzi is not a good person" kept eroding a string in her chest.She frowned slightly, stood up, and walked out of the room. There was no one in the living room, and my father and mother would work overtime on weekends, so Zhiwei was the only one at home. Zhiwei looked at the empty living room, then turned around and walked to the opposite side of the leather sofa, and opened the window.The summer wind blew up the transparent white gauze curtains, and Zhiwei's hair was lifted up strand by strand, making a rustling sound like silk. After a while, she turned her face sideways, and her eyes suddenly fell on a wallet on the glass coffee table. It was the mother's wallet, and there were various documents in it. Zhiwei walked over, looked at the hundred-yuan bills in the wallet, bit her lips tightly, her fingers began to tremble unknowingly. She stood there, her heartbeat violently fluctuating in the air. Boom—boom—boom— Maybe, sometimes, time will not wait for anyone, but, occasionally, time will take you and me away, just like silent white clouds flowing silently in the sky, numb nerves have never jumped for thousands of years, The love we've been looking for, the freedom we've been looking for. This kind of thing, you have to believe, has nowhere to put it, no way to own it. What should come will always come, and what should not come will eventually disappear. Just like Su Banxia was looking at her mobile phone at this moment, reminiscing about the words she had just said to Zhiwei, she began to feel the bitterness oozing from the corner of her mouth.But, soon, she opened her eyes and looked up at the calendar.On the 17th, it was time to visit the prison. That's right, the 17th of every two months is the day when Su Banxia visits his father Su You in the local prison.She had never expected this time to come, but instead felt an inexplicable fear.The phonetic symbol of "Dad" that she repeated countless times was covered by a thick layer of haze in that cold, impersonal, damp, narrow, and dark space, and lost its luster and loss. breath of life. Grandma would never visit her father, she would always say things like "you deserve to die, you deserve to be cheated by a woman". She only knows how to play mahjong and swear words every day. She even treats her own son like that. ruthless. So, every two months at this time, Su Banxia goes there alone. Go there to visit Su You, her father. Su Banxia changed into the white dress that her mother always wore, and it was already worn out from washing.She turned off her phone and put it on the table.She raised her head and looked at the wall clock on the wall that made a hoarse sound. The hands were ticking and sliding, and it was half past eleven. ——Mother obviously committed suicide. ——But in the mouth of the police, it was converted into homicide.Moreover, it is love killing. ——The murderer is the father. However, the person who witnessed all the truth was Su Banxia.However, she was only thirteen years old at the time, and this confession did not have any legal effect. To be precise, in the eyes of adults, she was a child, and what she said was nothing more than what a child said . But no one can believe it. Often only what children see and say is the most true. How old do people have to be to truly grow up? Su Banxia was walking on the road on foot with a thermos pot full of hot soup, surrounded by buses speeding past one stop after another, each of which had stopped in front of her, but she did not go up , she was afraid that time would pass too fast. However, what should come will come after all. So, she came to the empty and gloomy prison detention center surrounded by high walls.The tall and thin telephone poles are connected by wires alone, as if a group of awkward children are holding each other's hands.A guard in police uniform stood at the door and looked at Su Banxia with a strange look. Su Banxia felt very flustered. She held the handle of the thermos tightly with her fingers, knowing that her expression must be very nervous. , must be stiff. It's not the first time I've come here, but what's strange is that every time I come here I feel such a strange mood. Su Banxia thought so, then raised her head, walked to the policeman at the gate, and said in a very stiff tone: "I'm here to visit relatives." "Who are you looking for?" The other party asked more bluntly. "Su You." The moment the policeman heard the extremely simple word "Su You", the corner of his mouth twitched meaningfully and said, "Oh, Su You, wait a minute." So, his voice was like a sharp blade, piercing Su Banxia's heart. Somewhere in the chest cavity is sinking bit by bit. There is a huge piece of transparent glass in the space of the iron door that is slightly gloomy, and there is a small hole under the transparent glass, and there is a phone next to the hole.Although there is only a piece of glass away, Su Banxia feels that she is thousands of miles away from her father. Standing behind were two burly and tall guards, their gazes like police dogs focused on Su Banxia's back. Su Banxia sat in front of the glass window with some embarrassment, picked up the phone, and put it to her ear. She looked at her father wearing a prison uniform, and felt overwhelming sadness in her heart. It's just that I haven't seen him for two months, and my father's cheeks seem to be even thinner. He wears heavy iron cuffs on his wrist holding the phone, which are the necessary marks for serious criminals. Su Banxia lowered her head, sucked her nose and murmured: "Dad, I'll come and see you." On the ceiling of the dark space, there is a white plastic signboard of "Prison Visiting Room for Relatives". In the humid air, the plastic signboard shakes slightly, with the light behind it, it is completely dark, looking depressed and remote. . There are no windows and no wind. There is only a tiny imperceptible light. Looking at Su Banxia, ​​his father opened his chapped lips with some difficulty, nodded, and then squeezed out a tired and pale smile towards her. "Ban Xia, how are you doing?" "Fortunately..." Su Banxia forced herself to give her father a bright smile, but she could imagine how ugly her smile was.After a long time, with a trembling voice, she took the thermos to the front of the glass window and said, "I brought you some hot soup, which is still very hot." "Okay, thank you, they will bring it to me after they check it." Father said, his voice was old and deep. Hearing such a voice, Su Banxia's heart suddenly sank for no reason. Keep sinking, keep sinking, sinking into the deep pool in the abyss, soaked mercilessly by the cold water, leaving no trace. She actually wanted to say "Dad, how are you doing", "Dad, are you full every day", "Dad, I actually miss you very much", "Dad, I miss my old life", "Dad, When will you come back to my side?" "Dad, why don't you believe that mom committed suicide?" "Dad, you are not wrong, you didn't blame mom, you didn't beat mom, and you didn't kill her. It was her fault, it was her cheating. She committed suicide by crashing a car, and it's all her fault, Dad, you can't leave me, I can't live without you, I'm scared, I'm really scared." However, she still didn't have the courage to say these words, she was afraid that once she said them, it would become a sadness that could no longer be shirked. Because everything is already a foregone conclusion, and there is no way to change it. "It's cold, you need to wear more clothes inside." She choked up and said. "it is good." "Don't worry about mine, I get along very well with my grandmother and she is very good to me." "Is it, that's good, that's good." "I'm fine in school too, all fine." "Ban Xia, if you are doing well, I will be relieved." "Yeah." Su Banxia nodded, "I'm fine, really." It was such a simple conversation, but it was full of deception, even though it was a white lie.Su Banxia's tone was always calm, so calm that she couldn't detect the truth and pain in her words.Until the two guards behind him raised their hands and looked at their watches, they said in a somewhat impatient tone, "It's time for visitation. Escort the prisoner back to prison. Relatives, please leave." The father took a deep breath, looked at Su Banxia one last time, said "Take care of yourself", and then he was held by the shoulders by two other guards behind him, dragging the heavy iron cuffs and walking back to the dark, innocent place. In the bright corridor. Su Banxia stood up abruptly, she stretched out her hands and leaned on the glass window trying to look inside, but she couldn't see anything.There was only the deep and hoarse sound of iron chains hitting the cold ground, rattling, as if they were singing an ancient Qin opera. ——It’s just a transparent glass window, but it simply separates life and death, how cruel, how terrifying, how desperate. Su Banxia came out of the detention center, without the light green thermos in her hand.She walked back slowly, the sun near dusk was especially hot, sweat leaked slightly from her forehead, there was a golden light in front of her eyes, and the traffic lights staggered above her head. The warm wind slid over the corners of the eyes and eyebrows, and Chen Shuhua's old song was playing in the audio shop: "I knew that sadness is always inevitable, so why do you bother to be deeply in love, because love is always inseparable, why care about that little bit of tenderness. " There were boys walking by with their arms around girls' shoulders, and they made disdainful voices: "Damn, who is playing such outdated music with such character—" Su Banxia turned back dully, glanced at the backs of the boy and the girl, then turned back, suddenly squatted down, and cried out loudly. She covered her mouth, frowned, and tears flowed down the gap between her fingers. The drops fell on the ground, smudged a dark yellow. After a while, Su Banxia stopped crying, but stared at the ground with her eyes wide open, and kept twitching her shoulders.The surrounding area is very quiet, the wind blows the leaves and makes a rustling sound. Occasionally, one or two passers-by will look sideways at Su Banxia, ​​who is squatting in place, and cast questioning glances. Then, Su Banxia heard a voice above her head: "—Hey, are you okay?" It was a familiar voice, mixed with some worry. Su Banxia raised her head slowly, and what she saw was a boy's face, a slight surprise appeared in her eyes, and she blurted out: "Why are you..." The boy twitched the corner of his mouth, shrugged his shoulders helplessly and laughed: "Don't be so surprised, I happened to pass by here, and then I saw you, do you understand?" "Oh." Su Banxia responded softly. Following her example, the boy squatted down, looked at her with his chin up and blinked, and asked, "Then why are you crying?" Su Banxia stubbornly turned her face away, and murmured in a hoarse voice: "I didn't cry..." The boy smiled helplessly. He stretched out his slender fingers, gently wiped away a teardrop from the corner of her eye, and asked, "Then, if you didn't cry, what is this?" Su Banxia looked at him, slowly closed her eyes, and frowned unconvinced. In the end, she was still crying uncontrollably in front of him. ——Actually, you don’t need many people to love, just like now, to be able to be comforted by someone who puts his hands gently around his shoulders and comforts him, “Okay, don’t cry, please don’t cry”, it’s just that That's enough. Su Banxia covered her cheeks with the back of her hand, and felt her chest was filled with hot water in the comfort of the boy's panic. She pursed her lips and said in her heart - Mo Fanlu, thank you. The light of dusk gradually flows on the shoulders, emitting a gentle temperature.Pedestrians and vehicles pass by in a hurry, and occasionally student couples are seen holding hands and laughing. Someone sat down beside him, panting slightly. "Then I bought it for you, do you want to drink it?" Mo Fanlu held up a can of Pepsi and stuck it on her cheek, and suddenly felt a cold touch, Su Banxia couldn't help shaking, but he looked at her tilting her head and smiled slightly "I've cried so many tears, it's time to drink some water, right?" As he spoke, he unwittingly opened the Pepsi in his hand, and with a "bang", he stuffed it into Su Banxia's hand. His fingers were filled with the cold touch of the Pepsi can. "...Mmm." Su Banxia replied, but she didn't intend to drink. On the contrary, Mo Fanlu shook the Pepsi in his hand and approached Su Banxia curiously, "Hey, hey, you went back so late yesterday, did your family do anything to you?" Su Banxia raised her hand, brushed the hair that blocked her eyes behind her ears, and said flatly, "No." "Really, that's good." Mo Fanlu thought for a while, and then asked, "I was going to ask you out to watch a movie this weekend, but I called your phone many times and it turned off. Are you okay?" "Oh." "Well, can you tell me what it is?" "..." "Then you should tell me why you are crying, right?" The dissatisfied tone of a child. Su Banxia raised her head and stared at Mo Fanlu. "why?" Her rhetorical question made Mo Fanlu stunned in shock. It took him a long time to react, and he frowned with some grievances, and muttered in a low voice with a sad face: "Ask me why... Then, Su Ban Xia, since yesterday, you have been my girlfriend." Su Banxia was still staring at him. "Forget it." Mo Fanlu took a sip of Pepsi angrily, "Just pretend I didn't say anything." What responded to him was: "...So, I am your girlfriend." She was too slow to react.Mo Fanlu couldn't help grinning, raised his hand and flicked Su Banxia's forehead. "—It hurts so much." Su Banxia frowned, covered her forehead, and looked at him with a confused expression. But he felt very satisfied and suddenly bent down, and put the tip of his nose close to Su Banxia's fair and slender neck: "Well, it really does taste right." Su Banxia looked at him in astonishment: "Taste?" "On the uniform shirt that I hugged you with yesterday—" Mo Fanlu narrowed his eyes, slightly raised the corners of his mouth and answered her, "It has your body fragrance." The light of the setting sun was blindingly bright. Su Banxia's face blushed immediately after these words, and she frowned in embarrassment, but soon, looking at Mo Fanlu beside her, she couldn't help laughing lightly and silently. ——It turns out that some things that you are not used to, you can also get used to them slowly. ——So, that summer, he fell in love with her. ——It's just that at that moment, she didn't notice the uneasiness in his eyes, as well as the slight sense of loss and anxiety. At about three o'clock in the afternoon, the sun was setting. The smell of the camphor tree was blown into the air by the wind, spread over the entire land, and penetrated into the nostrils without a sound. Zhiwei was walking on the way to Lu Chuanzi's house, she touched the thick wad of banknotes in her pocket, swallowed her saliva, and then took out her mobile phone to send a message to Lu Chuanzi.The general content is: Please wait for me at home, I will send you money now. After pressing the "send" button, it exited again. Needless to say.Anyway, see you soon. Therefore, Zhiwei lowered her head, finally pressed the "off" button on the phone, and put it back in her pocket. ——I'm sorry, Ban Xia, I still can't listen to you, because I want to believe him.Thinking of this, Zhiwei quickened her pace and walked forward. The loud car honking screamed in my ears.The dazzling sunset diffused and stretched overhead, and the sound of heartbeat rippling in the air made a chug.Occasionally, a few leaves of the camphor tree will be blown off by the wind from the branches and fall to the ground with a fresh green color. However, when she just walked to the bar called "Waiting" which is very close to Lu Chuanzi's house, she suddenly raised her head, and from a distance, Zhiwei saw someone arguing there, the voice was loud and sharp, It was three girls dressed coquettishly, and two of them were supporting a crying girl, pointing at the boy in front of him and screaming.Zhiwei didn't feel well, she opened her eyes wide and looked over, the boy had a face she was familiar with and the piercing lip studs she was familiar with—— Lu Chuanzi. Zhiwei realized that things were not that simple.She heard those girls speak ill of Lu Chuanzi, but Lu Chuanzi was wearing a baseball cap with the brim of the hat low to cover his eyes, so he couldn't see his expression. However, seeing him standing there without saying anything, not even refuting, Zhiwei suddenly felt such pain in her heart. Before she had time to think, she quickly ran over and stood in front of Lu Chuanzi like a brave knight.The pair of eyes under the brim of the hat froze for a moment when they saw her, and the girls with yellow curly hair on the other side were also surprised by Zhiwei's sudden appearance.However, soon, they resumed their disdainful faces and looked Zhiwei up and down. One of the girls stretched out her hand and pushed Zhiwei hard, and then shouted: "Where did you come from? ? Go away!" Zhiwei took a few steps back and almost fell down.After stabilizing, she raised her head and looked at the girls. Their eyes were tense, and they were full of flames of war without gunpowder. Zhiwei found that among the three girls, the crying girl was holding her stomach tightly, her face was pale and haggard, as if a picture that could be released at any time. White paper blown away by the wind. That girl is the girl I saw in the bar last time. With a faint feeling of uneasiness in her heart, Zhiwei turned her head to look at Lu Chuanzi next to her. He tightly buttoned the brim of his hat, and then gave Zhiwei an innocent expression of "trust me, it's really none of my business". ——In that case, she believed him. Therefore, Zhiwei turned her head, shrank back a little timidly, looked at the group of girls and said weakly: "Excuse me, what do you want from him? Can you talk about it?" The girl with curly yellow hair smiled disdainfully at Zhiwei, looked at her with interest, and then looked at Lu Chuanzi: "Ha, the surname is Lu, why, when did you find a little sister to be your new girlfriend? Do you dare to fuck such a girl?" Lu Chuanzi lowered the brim of her hat, leaned behind Zhiwei and murmured impatiently: "Let them go quickly, I'm so annoying." Zhiwei bit her lips tightly, turned her head in embarrassment, and wanted to say to them "Can you go", but suddenly she was slapped by the other party, and that slap was loud and loud on her cheek. Zhiwei was stunned, and Lu Chuanzi was also slightly startled. After he realized it, he gently put his arms around Zhiwei's shoulders, and asked in a low voice: "Little Zhihua, are you okay..." The other girl grinned and laughed loudly: "The slap just now, I slapped on behalf of my friend!" Immediately afterwards, it was another slap. Zhiwei's cheeks became red and swollen quickly, hot blood oozes from her fair skin. "This slap, you took Lu Chuanzi's place!" "That's enough, you!" Lu Chuanzi couldn't help but frowned angrily. He took a step forward, glanced at Zhiwei who was covering her face, and then shouted at the three girls in front of her, " It has nothing to do with her, can you stop messing around? It's disgusting to see you! Get out! Get out of here!" "Okay, Lu Chuanzi, my heart hurts, don't you? Haha, don't you just let it go if you hurt my friend so badly?" The girl's voice was sharp and clear, piercing straight into Zhiwei with bitter pain. Deep in the eardrum, "I tell you, if she dies in the hospital today, you will become a murderer!" Rough pain, swinging back and forth at the bottom of the eardrum, swinging, swinging. Zhiwei only felt the pain on her cheek, raised her finger to touch it, and found scarlet blood on her fingertip. She raised her head, looked at the girl who hit her just now, and said, "As long as you hit me, can you stop scolding or insulting him?" "What did you say?" The girl narrowed her eyes and sneered. Zhiwei didn't speak any more, just lowered her head silently.Subconsciously, she knew that the girl in front of her was not in the same world as her, so she didn't know how to talk to her, let alone communicate, but she couldn't just watch Lu Chuanzi talk to them Such a person is humble. "You are so proud!" The girl yelled like tearing apart, pointing to the crying girl next to her, "Lu Chuanzi will not want her, and she will not want you soon! Stop pretending to be innocent in front of my old lady! Really! Fucking bitch!" As soon as she finished speaking, Zhiwei felt something rush towards her, and before she understood the situation, the other party viciously grabbed her hair and tore it vigorously. Zhiwei couldn't hear any sound. Severe pain eroded her entire body in an instant, and the nerves on the scalp screamed wantonly. The traffic lights cross each other overhead, and at the intersection opposite the bar, a boy and a girl passed by on the zebra crossing. The girl's hand is tightly held in the palm of the boy's palm, and after looking at each other, they will smile slightly. Suddenly there was a faint shouting and cursing, the girl raised her head and looked over from a distance, her eyes suddenly fell on another girl not far away with sadness and surprise.The girl's hair was being torn, tears streaming down her face but she didn't know what to do. The boy's expression also became confused and startled, he followed the girl's gaze fixedly, and murmured: "—Isn't that Zhiwei?" The sharp shouts echoed roughly at the bar door: "I let you grab other people's boyfriends! Bitch! Who do you think you are? Do you think Lu Chuanzi will really like you?" "You idiot, you! He was just playing with you, and kicked you away when he got bored! Smelly girl, worthless slut! Why don't you die when you steal other people's boyfriends? !" "Take the head of my mother's friend, bitch!" Zhiwei was thrown to the ground by two girls and was torn apart crazily. A pale and painful girl was standing opposite her clutching her belly, while Lu Chuanzi was just coaxing the pale girl who kept crying: "Don't cry!" Okay, how much do you want, can I give you the money? Forgive me, I owe you, okay?" Su Banxia stood in the distance, and her retina felt a severe earthquake pain. She shook off Mo Fanlu's hand holding her, and touched a heavy brick from the ground without any explanation. Holding back the pain in her heart, she ran over quickly Throw it at the two girls who are tearing Zhiwei apart, and shout angrily: "--roll!" ——I can't imagine, if I didn't happen to pass by that day, would you have become a wound in my life? In fact, the reason why Su Banxia and Zhiwei came together was like two unrelated planets colliding into each other suddenly, it was an accident with a one-in-10,000 probability, it was a miracle probability. It was in a unified quiz that just started, Zhiwei's name could be found in the top ten red list hanging in the corridor, and among the bottom ten students in the grade, Su Banxia was the only one in her class One made the list. The head teacher and classmates always look at Su Banxia with a kind of arrogance and disdain, and even some boys from other classes talk about it with great interest behind her—— "Hey, do you know, I heard that she had a helping party when she was in middle school." "Huh? Really? Hehe, but she looks a lot like Bitch. Although she is so beautiful, she looks so dangerous." "Ah, why is her academic performance so poor? Does she really want to study? What is she thinking about on weekdays? She has such a mysterious and cold appearance, what a scary girl." It's boring, but forget it. Su Banxia has long been accustomed to these things. If they don't talk about themselves, it would be really strange. While thinking this way, a black shadow covered his head from the front, is it really going to hail?Although Su Banxia was puzzled, she still raised her head expressionlessly. In the corridor, Zhiwei, a classmate, stood in front of her, smiling brightly at her. And, she took out the pink lunch box in her hand, shook it in front of Su Banxia, ​​and said with a smile: "Student Su Banxia, ​​my mother made me diced chicken today, let's eat together, okay?" ?” Su Banxia lowered her eyes, lowered her voice, and asked cautiously: "why--?" "Hmm..." Zhiwei thought about it seriously, and then continued to say with a bright smile, "Well, just take it as a thank you for saving my life at the bus stop! Hehe, classmate Su Banxia, Can I call you Ban Xia from now on?" "It's not...it can't be..." Su Banxia felt inexplicable panic, inexplicable expectation and inexplicable joy at the sudden friendship between classmates. "Nice to meet you, Banxia! I hope I can be your friend! Ah, no, I'm a good friend!" At the end, Zhiwei smiled blushingly. That beautiful smile full of shyness and sincerity is still there today. It is deeply branded in Su Banxia's memory, never faded, still bright and bright. However, in front of Zhiwei like this, Su Banxia always feels dirty. Just like those beggars on the side of the road, even if they are pitiful, it doesn't matter, even if they are given a coin or two in sympathy, the beggar is still a beggar and cannot be changed.Occasionally, an adult would pass by them with a child, and they would frown and urge the children around them to say: Be obedient, let’s go, what are you looking at, it’s so dirty. ——Dirty to death. It's like being talked about by everyone behind the scenes is the same feeling, the heart has been repeatedly cut and stabbed countless times. Painful and shameful. Because she is dirty to death, because she is really dirty to death. The dim street lights flickered on and off, illuminating the protruding bones on the shoulders, as if forming tiny waves that undulated up and down. Recalling these things that happened not long ago, Su Banxia frowned, closed her eyes silently, opened them slowly, and slowly walked out of her thoughts.She turned her head to look at Zhiwei who was sitting next to her, and looked at the wounds on her forehead and cheeks, suddenly a heavy, dense pain filled her heart. She sat side by side with her, and neither of them spoke first. She came to find Lu Chuanzi, and sure enough, she still didn't listen to her advice. 想到这里，苏半夏既苦涩又寂寞地抿紧了嘴角，眼底渐渐堆积起了一片冰凉。 直到莫樊律从对面的药店里买来了一盒子的绷带与消毒水，跑回到了苏半夏和栀薇的面前，这种让人感到害怕的沉寂才终于得以打破。听到啪嗒啪嗒的脚步声，苏半夏抬起头，看向路灯下面的莫樊律，昏黄柔弱的光线洒在他的身上，点缀着他眉宇之间流露出来的莫名地紧张。 莫樊律首先想到的是苏半夏被砖头滑伤的手心，于是，他迅速地用牙齿将绷带扯掉一块，然后抓过她的手，准备为她涂抹消毒水，却被苏半夏一口拒绝：“不用管我。” “不管怎么行？”略微有些气愤的语气，“一个女生打什么架，你以为你很厉害吗？你把我当什么……” ——他的口气，简直就像个管家婆。 ——可是却让她感到很温暖。 苏半夏不再说话，而是任由莫樊律用消毒水擦拭着她破皮的地方。 心中不是没有感动的。 只是，她更加担心的是身边的栀薇，于是她催促着莫樊律快点弄完之后，便拿起消毒水和新的棉签，去帮栀薇消毒脸上的伤痕。 栀薇只是很安静地坐在那里，就连消毒水擦到伤口的时候，她也没有叫痛，也没有皱眉，忽然像反应过来什么一样，迅速地转过头，看向苏半夏，睁圆了眼睛，喃喃地问： “——路川紫呢？” 苏半夏愣住，她都已经为他变成这样了，竟然还在想着他。 栀薇焦急地摇晃着苏半夏的手，轻声问：“半夏，你告诉我，路川紫呢？他有没有怎么样？” 回应她的人不是苏半夏，而是莫樊律，他站在背光的地方，路灯昏黄的光就洒在他的头顶，却看不清他的表情，只听到他说：“——他早就回去了，傻瓜。” 栀薇睁了睁眼睛，良久，她平静地低下了头，脸颊上的血，是醒目的红色。 渐渐地，她的眼泪，就哗啦哗啦地淌出来。 ——他早就已经回去了，傻瓜，他不管你了，傻瓜，你真是一个不折不扣的大傻瓜。 很晚的时候，路灯已经融进了黑暗，散发出昏黄的光，照亮了暗夜的黑。 望着栀薇走进了自己家的楼道里面，苏半夏终于转过身来，看向身旁的莫樊律，突然问：“那，刚刚看到你和他的表情，你是不是早就认识路川紫？” 莫樊律微微侧过脸，扯动嘴角笑了一下：“对不起，我没有事先告诉你。我和他，其实是从小一起长大的。” 她的心蓦地就沉了下去。 “那么——你明明知道路川紫是什么样的人，为什么不去阻止栀薇呢？” “这又不是我的事，我管也管不到吧？” 苏半夏盯着莫樊律此刻毫无表情可言的脸庞，以及他胸膛前那闪烁着刺伤眼的项链，顿时就抿紧了嘴角，良久，她有些哽咽地开口：“原来，你这么冷血。” “哈哈。”他干笑两声，挑起一边的眉毛回望着苏半夏，“你真会讲冷笑话，难道你不觉得，其实你比我更冷血吗？” 夜晚的夏风将香樟树的枝叶大片大片地吹散。 一片连接一片地落进了苏半夏的头发上。 “——苏半夏，在你眼里，究竟我和栀薇哪个更重要？” 世界里所有的声音回归了寂静。 光线在眼前逐渐消散，一点一滴地不见。 不知道从哪家居民楼的窗户里面飘出了Patricia Kaas的《If you go away》： ——If you go away on this summer day ——Then you might as well take the sun away ——All the birds that flew in the summer sky ——When our love was new and our hearts were high ——When the day was young and the night was long ——And the moon stood still for the night bird's song ——If you go away，if you go away ——if you go away…… 楼道里面《If you go away》的歌声，响在耳边，栀薇拖着自己疲惫的身体，恍惚地朝家门走去。 眼泪还残留在眼角，她抬起手，用力地擦干，然后掏出口袋中的钥匙，打开了门。 屋子里面是一片沉寂的黑暗，栀薇站在门口，摸到开关打开了灯，客厅里面空空如也，父亲和母亲似乎还没有下班回家，茶几上面的钱包仍旧是下午她动过时的模样，它安静地躺在那里，泛着寂寞的微弱的光。 房子里面空荡荡的，夜风透过窗户吹进来，窗帘轻轻扬起。 一片又一片的香樟树叶飘进来，落到了地面上，啪沙啪沙地轻响。 栀薇闭了闭眼睛，摸了摸口袋中厚厚的纸币，关了灯，转身，走回到了自己的房间里。 屋子里面重新恢复了一片黑暗。 只有楼道外面的某个声音，一直在唱： ——If you go away on this summer day ——Then you might as well take the sun away.