Chapter 6 Chapter 3 Confession of Love you are my only love

If I can find you again, please don't go anywhere else, and I won't run away again.It is probably true what Zhiwei said, the gravitational force between me and you must be too strong, and it has reached the point where we will destroy each other once we collide.Looking back, I always said that you were too willful and selfish. In fact, I should be the one who has been willful and selfish.Ban Xia, I hope to see you, not because I want to get your forgiveness, but because I still only like you, that's all. ——Excerpt from Mo Fanlu's Quotations Do you know that there is a song called: This Damn Tenderness.

There are dark clouds rolling in the sky, very low, very low, quite a heavy rain is about to come. The rigid music on the radio echoed throughout the campus, densely packed students wearing uniforms gathered in the playground, doing shriveled gymnastics following the voice of passwords on the radio. "Third quarter, turn around, one two three four, two two three four, three two three four, four two three four—" The ticking sound hit the hard ground, and the wet black spots were blurred in a blink of an eye. The rain, sure enough, started to fall. It’s just that the broadcast didn’t mean to stop, and the teachers didn’t issue the order to “return to the classroom”, so the students on the playground could only raise their arms and legs reluctantly and whine, “Is there any I made a mistake, I still have to do gymnastics when it rains, I'm going to die" or something like that.

The rain in early summer is continuous, and some feudal and superstitious old people often say: God must be crying! The clouds rolling by in the sky seemed to be able to flow directly over the grass, and the raindrops sprinkled on the grass, making a pattering sound, forming a crystal-clear and moist piece. "Gymnastics is the most troublesome thing. The sick broadcast sound makes people feel uncomfortable." Su Banxia lay on the grass, slightly frowned, letting the rain splash on her face, and then Then drip down the arc of the face. "Well, I feel the same." Zhiwei, who was lying beside her, pursed her lips and smiled, squinting her eyes and fluttering her eyelashes covered with raindrops, looking at the blue-gray sky.

The sound of radio beep beep reverberated in my ears, because Su Banxia said "I hate radio exercises", and Zhiwei also admitted "I really hate it", so the two of them "frozen" together and hid in the school forest The grass behind would rather be watered by the rain. ——Well, it’s actually very poetic, right? "It turns out that you went on a date with Lu Chuanzi yesterday." Su Banxia's hair was wet from the rain, dripping water continuously, she looked at Zhiwei, her voice was flat without any ups and downs. "Yes." Zhiwei thought for a while, and finally answered honestly, although she didn't know if it was a date, but it was true that she went to see Lu Chuanzi, so she could only say sorry , "Banxia, ​​I didn't see the message you sent me until I got home. I'm sorry, you must have been waiting for me for a long time, right?"

"It's okay." Su Banxia slightly twitched the corner of her mouth, not knowing whether she was smiling or helpless, "I didn't wait long, I was just a little worried about you." In fact, last night, when Ke Jiang walked out of the school after finishing his duty, he happened to see Su Banxia and Mo Fanlu waiting for Zhiwei at the school gate, so he volunteered to find Zhiwei. So, in the end, Su Banxia received Ke Jiang's call. At that moment, her heart seemed to be hit suddenly, and an inexplicable tearing pain hit her whole body. When she knew that Zhiwei had left her to date Lu Chuanzi, Su Banxia actually felt betrayed.

Such a feeling is really inexplicable! "I'm sorry! Banxia." Zhiwei held Su Banxia's arm coquettishly, with a bright and clear smile, "I will definitely not worry you next time, I will listen to everything you say, okay?" ?” Su Banxia recovered from her own thoughts, and couldn't help being amused by her words, "You listen to everything I say? Am I your boyfriend?" "—For me, Banxia is more important than my boyfriend." Zhiwei's big eyes flashed, and the corners of her beautiful lips raised innocently. "Huh?" Su Banxia seemed to be blushing a little, turned her face away in embarrassment, and said in a low voice, "You, what are you talking about? Are you reciting poetry?"

Zhiwei smiled, bent her beautiful big eyes, suddenly remembered something, pouted her rosy mouth slightly, and asked her tentatively: "Banxia, ​​what do you——what do you think of Mo Fanlu?" "Mo Fanlu?" Su Banxia was taken aback for a moment, as if she didn't realize who this name was. "What? Ban Xia, don't you know him? But, he last night..." "Oh, it's him, I remembered." It was the boy who accompanied her to wait for Zhiwei last night. "You really know each other?" "Know? Well, it's not really acquaintance, it's just that something happened last night, and he just happened to help me. Then, why do you ask?"

"Hmm..." Zhiwei thought for a while, lowered her eyes, and finally swallowed what she was going to say next rationally.After she was silent for a long time, she continued to speak, and said, "No, it's really nothing, just asking casually, I'm curious that he helped me bring back my schoolbag last night, you know Ban Xia, He and I are neighbors." Su Banxia was slightly stunned, no longer asked any more questions, but responded softly: "That's it." ——Then why, she said, "What do you think of Mo Fanlu?" Mo Fanlaw. It's a weird name, really weird, but it makes Su Banxia very concerned for no reason.

His eyes, his nose, his lips, his outline, his voice, the smile on his lips, and the flickering chains on his neck, all echoed clearly in Su Banxia's memory. It seems to be unswerving, it seems to be endless. Quietly, Su Banxia raised her head and looked at the gray sky, the raindrops fell into her deep black pupils, and the rigid radio music was still ringing in her ears. That sluggish radio sound, it seems that it will never end, it seems that it will never end. Wet grass covered by rain.She lay there quietly holding hands with her.There is no distance. The two hearts cuddled tightly together without any gaps.

She raised her eyes, blinked the raindrops on her eyelashes, and asked, "Ban Xia, if there is only one minute left in the world, what would you do?" She looked at her, closed her eyes, and said, "wait for death." She smiled, raised her fair fingers to wipe off the raindrops from the corners of her eyes, and said, "Hehe, if it were me, I would definitely come here with you in the last sixty seconds to get wet in the rain." Su Banxia turned her head and faced Zhiwei, some emotions were suddenly agitated by her words, therefore, tears started to flow in Su Banxia's eyes, the sockets were red and were about to flow out, she hurriedly turned her head away , said softly:

"Well, it's strange, why did sand get into the eyes." ——It would be great if the world could stop turning at this moment. ——It would be great if there was only one minute left in the world at this moment. ——It would be great if you and I could trust each other like this forever. Then, how good it would be, how good it would be, don't you think? At about two o'clock in the afternoon, the sky had cleared up. The sun was so bright and brilliant that it broke through the clouds and shone in the corridor, refracted into a mirage-like light spot. Clusters spread out, spreading forward continuously. "Qingqing Zijin, care about my heart, even if I don't go, Zining won't say anything?" The loud and loud sound of reading echoes in the corridor, which is exactly the verse in "The Book of Songs·Zheng Feng·Zijin". And its full text is: Qingqing Zijin, caress my heart, even if I don't go, Zining won't listen? Qingqing Zipei, I think for a long time, even if I don't come, Zining won't come? Picking and reaching, in the city gate, not seeing each other for a day, like March. ——A day without seeing each other is like March. Sitting in the studio, Mo Fanlu couldn't help laughing when he heard the sound of reading books echoing in his ears, and subconsciously repeated the sentence "I don't see you in a day, it's like March", and suddenly realized that he was very hypocritical, so he frowned slightly He raised his eyebrows, coughed a few times in embarrassment, picked up the paintbrush in his hand, raised his head, and watched the male model not far away continue to draw sketches. It's really boring, I have to draw anyway, why not find a beautiful woman to be a model?Looking at that ugly man's face, which is worse than a pig's head, really affects his mood and efficiency in painting! Thinking of this, Mo Fanlu could no longer concentrate on painting. He looked up to the sky and sighed, and helplessly threw the paintbrush and carving knife in his hand into the sunken wooden railing under the drawing board, then turned around, and was about to leave the silent studio . In the entire empty and narrow studio, only the small sound of the tip of the brush rubbing against the drawing paper echoed non-stop, and the sound lingered. rustle-- rustle-- "Hey, Mo Fanlu, where are you going?" Ke Jiang, a classmate who was sitting next door and drawing, grabbed the corner of his uniform, glanced at the teacher on the podium, and asked in a low voice. "To find a beautiful woman." He replied lightly and naturally. "—Uh." Several black lines suddenly appeared on the other party's forehead. "Ha, my young master Ke Jiang, why do you put on that disgusted expression?" Mo Fanlu raised one eyebrow in surprise, it's really strange, doesn't it mean he doesn't like beautiful women? "I'm talking about you, Mo Fanlu." Ke Jiang frowned, and said seriously, "At least ask the teacher for a vacation, okay? How long has it been since you entered high school? Don't think that you are an 'excellent student' any longer. Adding the title of 'popular' is arbitrary, and not all girls can afford it, so you'd better be careful." "Affordable?" Mo Fanlu listened, and squinted at Ke Jiang with interest, "Listen to you, don't you... don't you think so?" Ke Jiang just looked at him: "Please don't compare me with you, as long as I have love, that's enough." "Huh?" Mo Fanlu didn't know whether it was a look of surprise or ridicule on his face, and said calmly, "Student Ke Jiang, you are too vulgar to believe in things like 'love'?" Ke Jiang blushed immediately, gritted her teeth and threw a sentence at him: "Those who laugh at love will surely cry because of love in the future!" Mo Fanlu turned his head away, tried his best not to laugh out loud, but still bent over with a "poof" laugh, he waved his hands at Ke Jiang behind him with great joy, as if he was about to burst into tears "Okay, okay, I will cry for 'love' as you predicted, such an 'interesting' line, thank you for coming up with it." ——Well, don't you believe it? ——It is true, those who laugh at love will surely cry because of love in the future. ——After all, certain things correspond to the three words that the Buddhists said: Can't ask for it. Can't ask for it, can't ask for it, there are always some things, really, really can't ask for it. "Those two boys in the back! What are you muttering about! Did the studio want you to come and chat? What else are you looking at, just the two of you!" The female teacher wearing black-rimmed glasses sitting on the podium frowned. Frowning, he picked up the pointer in his hand and waved it wildly, roaring. Mo Fanlu and Ke Jiang came back to their senses, glanced at each other, and then smiled at each other. "I really can't help it." Mo Fanlu smiled with his mouth curled up, glanced at Ke Jiang, with a naughty smile on his lips, and whispered to him, "Just let her vent, the life of an old maid is not good. Have a good time." When such harsh words came from the mouth of a "top student" like Mo Fanlu, Ke Jiang couldn't help grinning amusedly, but was caught by a female teacher wearing black-rimmed glasses, who opened her mouth wide and was about to growl. Mo Fanlu quickly raised his hand and said loudly, "Report! Teacher, I need to go to the bathroom! Urgent urgency!" There was laughter from the girls in the studio, and the female teacher wearing black-rimmed glasses blushed, urging Mo Fanlu to go quickly, because she was just going to the bathroom, shouting and screaming. It's two thirty in the afternoon. During physical education class, because the teacher called Zhiwei to the office to do the survey form of the class committee, Su Banxia didn't want to go to participate in sports activities alone, so she had to wander boredly in the corridor alone. Downstairs on the playground, the students have been divided into boys and girls to run long distance around the playground, Su Banxia looked over expressionlessly, and couldn't help muttering to herself: Running in such a hot day is not afraid of dying of heat ? correct-- Su Banxia suddenly remembered something, isn't there a monthly exam tomorrow?Zhiwei said that she would go to the school library to look for English materials. Anyway, she has nothing to do now, so she went to help her sort out the materials, even though the thing Su Banxia hates the most and is also the least good at is studying. However, since it can help Zhiwei... Thinking of this, Su Banxia turned around, walked around the corridor, and ran towards the library opposite the teaching building. The corridor was very quiet, so quiet that only the sound of "slapping" footsteps and the dazzling red sunset light remained. Scattered throughout the hallway, warming the walls. Like the beautiful poison that Apollo scatter. I don't know if it was a coincidence or premeditated.In short, when Su Banxia was recording English words in the empty library, she suddenly heard someone behind her greet her. "Hey, Su Banxia." Holding the blue ballpoint pen, she hesitated for a moment, and when she recovered her senses and looked behind her, she felt a figure passing by her side quickly, but unfortunately she didn't have time to see it clearly.So, she had no choice but to turn her head back again, raised her head to look forward, and met a pair of bright eyes. The man had already sat in the empty seat opposite her, Su Banxia was startled, frowned dissatisfiedly, and stared at him vigilantly. "What a coincidence, why are you here too? Studying?" Mo Fanlu grinned and opened his mouth with a smile, revealing two beautiful little canine teeth, and his eyelashes were dazzled by the setting sun. "Meet again, we are so destined .” "Oh." Su Banxia calmed down, and after glancing at him, he lowered his head to look at the English dictionary in his hand, but there seemed to be strange waves in his heart, a little joy and a little joy, inexplicably sweet, but But mixed with even more inexplicable sadness. ——She felt that she had become a little strange. "looking at what?" "English Dictionary." "Oh, yes, there is a monthly exam tomorrow, hehe, why, you skipped class too?" "No, self-study." Su Banxia responded instinctively, but it can be considered as skipping class, right? "Really, but I skipped class, I skipped art class." Why stick to her and tell her these things?Su Banxia frowned slightly.Mo Fanlu, he was the type of boy she found most difficult to deal with. In front of him, she always felt inexplicably flustered. "Why is your hair a little wet?" The boy's gaze stayed on her body intently. "Hmm..." Su Banxia lowered her head and responded, "Because of the rain in the morning." "Oh, it's raining! And Zhiwei?" It seemed that she was confident that she could guess right. However, he did guess right.So Su Banxia nodded. "It's so romantic, so enviable." ——Uh, envious?What does he mean by being enviable? The slightly reddish sunset light refracted in from the glass window beside him, scattered mottledly on Mo Fanlu's shoulders, and the neat and clean white summer uniform was dyed a beautiful blush, like dim candlelight , exudes a warm breath, mixed with the unique hormones of teenagers, forming a smell that only belongs to boys. Su Banxia lowered her head, and stopped looking at him, but slid the paper with the tip of the pen rustlingly, making a quick and subtle sound. rustle-- rustle-- "Are you still writing? You are really working hard! Can I see what you are writing?" Mo Fanlu straightened up slightly curiously, and put his face close to Su Banxia's neck. When the air blows into Su Banxia's clothes, her back suddenly froze, and she shrank back subconsciously. "What's the matter with you?" asked Fa, alertly. "Huh?" Mo Fanlu opened his eyes strangely. "If it's okay..." I want to find information quietly by myself.She really wanted to say this sentence, but when the words came to her lips, Su Banxia unexpectedly found that her vocal cords were stuck. "It's really distressing, I don't know! Probably, it's really not a day, like March Xi." It seemed to be talking to himself. "What did you say?" The girl didn't hear clearly. "No, it's nothing." Mo Fanlu chuckled, then raised his hand, and gently stroked a strand of hair that was blocking Su Banxia's forehead to the top of his head, "Don't cover your eyes, your eyes are the most beautiful." His words are somewhat like rhetoric, isn't it? Su Banxia nodded quietly, and pulled her hair behind her ears in embarrassment, knowing that he was talking sweetly, but she still felt her cheeks warm up slightly. The entire library suddenly fell silent. No one spoke anymore. There was only the sound of each other's slight breathing, mixed with the rustling sound of the wind blowing the curtains. Until Mo Fanlu finally couldn't bear it and said first, "Then I'll take you to a place, okay?" Su Banxia raised her head, frowning slightly in doubt, her expression seemed to say, "Where are you going?" "——I want to take you there." He looked at her and smiled slightly, with beautiful stars shining in his clear pupils. I made the class committee survey form for an hour, and finally concluded with the teacher's sentence "Tomorrow's monthly exam, the teacher is looking forward to your performance." Zhiwei finally let out a long breath after walking out of the office, and raised her hand to look at the transparent waterproof watch. The pointer had already pointed to the position of three o'clock in the afternoon, and before she knew it, the golden sunset light had covered the corridor. Physical education class seems to have long since ended. So, where is Pinellia now?Has she returned to the classroom yet?Zhiwei instinctively looked around for a week, waved her arms sore from the class committee survey, and walked slowly towards the classroom. "Zhiwei?" Someone called her from behind. Zhiwei was stunned for a moment, she blinked her eyes suspiciously before turning around, at the corner of the corridor, where the setting sun was turning into gold, Ke Jiang, who was wearing a clean summer uniform, was smiling and waving to her. In Zhiwei's memory, that must be a smile more beautiful than the setting sun. "Hey, you don't remember me?" "No, I remember, you are Ke Jiang." "It's an honor. Oh? How did you get out of the teacher's office?" "I'm going to do the survey form of the class committee." "Wow, you're a class member? You're amazing!" "Hehe...it's not as strong as you said...huh? Why didn't you go to class?" "I just came back from the studio, art class is the most boring, strange, where is Ban Xia? Why didn't she stick with you?" Zhiwei smiled, tilted her head and thought for a while, "She probably skipped class, physical education class." I don't know where the light refracted in, it happened to shine on Zhiwei's body, the eyelashes were faintly golden, and even the fine hairs on the skin could be seen clearly, the whiteness seemed to be transparent, Ke Jiang looked at She was suddenly inexplicably nervous, and her cheeks were slightly flushed like a teenager. "Then—" He lowered his eyes and said softly, "I heard that you already have a boyfriend..." It's not that I heard it, but he clearly saw it with his own eyes. Asking her like this made him seem very cunning. Zhiwei raised her head, was taken aback for a moment, then a happy smile appeared on the corner of her mouth, she nodded, "Did you listen to Banxia?" Sure enough. As if the relationship had been shattered, disappointed as if he would never get a response, Ke Jiang frowned in disappointment, his expression seemed to be aggrieved, and he whispered softly, "Zhiwei..." "Ok?" "That, I want to say..." "Ah, are you saying that I owe you the money?" Zhiwei opened her eyes wide as if suddenly realized, "I'm sorry, I really don't have any now, but I will definitely pay you back as soon as possible, please give me some time ..." "No!" Ke Jiang was a little anxious, he stretched out his hand, grabbed Zhiwei's shoulder and said loudly, "I didn't mean that, actually, actually, I am to you, to you..." The cell phone in Zhiwei's pocket rang suddenly, and Ke Jiang's next words were cut off. He woke up with a jerk, realized his gaffe, and quickly let go of his hand on Zhiwei's shoulder, slightly Look away. Zhiwei looked at Ke Jiang at a loss, but she still took out her mobile phone from her pocket, and the number displayed was Lu Chuanzi. She turned the screen involuntarily, avoiding Ke Jiang's surprised gaze, and whispered After saying "Hello", her eyes opened like a cat's astonishment. It was Lu Chuanzi's pale voice on the phone. "Little Gardenia, I'm about to die." In the quiet corridor, apart from the silence, only the golden glow remained. Ke Jiang was leaning against the window in the corridor by herself, resting her chin with one hand, and resting the other on the window lattice.He squinted his eyes halfway, looking at Zhiwei who was running nervously downstairs, the sky-colored plaid skirt spread out circle after circle in the dancing sunset. What made her so worried and panicked?Ke Jiang frowned slightly, sighed, straightened up and turned her head, but her left eyelid twitched twice. The bright golden light outside the window smeared on his somewhat thin back. Is there such a person who can let me deposit my heart with peace of mind? Not the game kind. The kind that want to take each other seriously. In this world, would there be such a person? In the setting sun, the afterglow covered the world with a layer of dry and gorgeous blood red. The boy stepped on the pedals of the silver bicycle and drove towards an open field full of yellow straw, his shoulders rose and fell with the ups and downs of the bicycle. The girl in the back seat frowned and grabbed the hem of his uniform nervously, her long hair fluttered with the hem of her skirt, her voice was drowned in the rustling wind, "Mo Fanlu , can you slow down? Where are you taking me?!" Until the time stopped at that instant, the sound of brakes suddenly rang in Su Banxia's ears, she was shocked, and hit Mo Fanlu hard on the back. The warmth from the boy's back made the girl's heart suddenly miss a beat. That moment of time, quietly pure, quietly beautiful. No impurities of any kind are included. Mo Fanlu turned around and smiled at her, and threw the silver bicycle down on the stone ground, then he took Su Banxia's hand, ignoring the surprise and doubt on her expression at the moment, but held her tightly Trotting all the way in the yellow straw, as if passing through time, as if passing through space, as if passing through all the haze and the past, he took her, as if he could escape to a distant place that no one knew . That place may be heaven. That place may be the original hometown of life. The silver bicycle standing on the stone ground, the chains on the boy's neck gleaming, until they came to the wide field of vision, the tall and thin telephone poles are connected by wires alone, the distant sky full of red clouds There are a few kites in the lonely place, and the slightly yellowed reeds dance behind them, and the sound of being blown by the wind hits the heart directly. Su Banxia looked at everything in front of her, and suddenly felt an urge to cry.She raised her chin and let the wind kiss her, her long hair was entangled in the air, "Where is this place?" "A free place." Mo Fanlu grinned triumphantly, smiling like an innocent child. "A place of freedom?" "That's where your heart is." "yes?" "Hey, actually, this is just an abandoned military airport, but occasionally small cargo planes take off from here." Mo Fanlu looked at the sky and said softly, "When I was young, I often went to the airport alone. Come here, I will come here when I am in a bad mood, or when I skip class, believe it or not, this is a secret base that belongs only to me, and you are the first person I brought here." Su Banxia turned her head, looked at him, pouted her mouth: "I hear what you mean, do you want me to pay you?" Mo Fanlu couldn't help laughing, and waved his hand: "There's no need for money, but I want to ask you not to call me Mo Fanlu again, okay? It's fine for others to call me that, but being called by you sounds too real." It's too awkward." She opened her eyes slightly and stared at him questioningly. ——Don't let her call him "Mo Fanlu", what should he call him? Noticing the doubt in her eyes, he said quietly: "I am not actually called Mo Fanlu. I only have one name. It should be said that from the time I was born, or until I die, I will only recognize one name." , it's Fan Lu." "Ok?" Mo Fanlu spoke very plainly, with a light smile on his brows, which made people feel any sadness in him. "My mother remarried to a man surnamed Mo, but my father's surname was Fan. When I was thirteen years old, my household registration was changed. It was no longer Fan Lv, but Mo Fan Lv. Dad's surname should be ranked after that man's surname? It's ridiculous, isn't it?" "... Then what's the matter?" "Eh?" "Compared to me, you are much luckier." "why?" "My mother committed suicide, but my father became a murder suspect and was sentenced. To a certain extent, I have no father or mother. Are you better than me?" "Really?" Mo Fanlu slightly twitched the corners of his mouth, looked at her, his voice was slightly hoarse, but it was very pleasant to hear, "—for a long time, it turns out that we are the same kind." ——Then, is it possible to remove the disguise from the whole body in front of the same kind? At the end of the sky, billowing fire clouds flowed past. Fast as if it could be dropped. The memories in early summer began to move towards the end of fate at that moment. Before you know it, our beginning is doomed. Mo Fanlu glanced at Su Banxia who was beside him, suddenly, he frowned, covered his chest with his face down, and cried out weakly: "Oops, my chest hurts so much." Su Banxia turned her head, and suddenly remembered the myocarditis she had once suffered when she was a child, which also caused an inexplicable pain in her chest, so she hurried over and asked, "What's wrong, are you okay?" "Of course there's something going on!" He grinned, "The heart is beating endlessly, and the obvious arrhythmia makes me almost out of breath. It's really annoying." Su Banxia was a little flustered, without saying a word, she hurriedly put her face on Mo Fanlu's chest and listened carefully. It was the sound of a heartbeat that couldn't be healthier. There can't be a heart problem, right?So, she frowned, and before she could raise her head, she was hugged tightly by his arms in an instant. The warmth in Mo Fanlu's chest was transmitted directly to Su Banxia's facial nerves. The sound of an accelerated heartbeat. Slightly flustered breathing. His fingers trembled uncontrollably. She wanted to struggle, but was held in her arms even harder by the other party, and his warm murmur sounded in her ears: "Su Banxia, ​​I love you." Suddenly a plane flew overhead slowly and lowly, and a buzzing roar came straight down from the sky. The voice of "I love you" was wrapped in the airflow of the plane taking off, but Su Banxia still heard it, the breath of the boy surrounded her, and there was hot and humid liquid in her eyes, suddenly it was inexplicable flowing down. The white uniform on the boy's chest was soaked, and he was still enchanting. "Hey, are you moved to tears?" "Nonsense." "It's nerve-wracking, you're already an adult." "I'm so sorry, I'm immature, and I'm not an adult, can I?" "Okay, okay! Then let me, an adult, protect you." "... who cares." "You're too shameless. This is the first time I've been so serious about a girl. Don't let you be careless." "Liar, why are you talking about arrhythmia..." "No, no, I really have an arrhythmia. As long as I look into your eyes, my heart will become like this." "Have you finished?" "Ok--" ——How perfect, how simple, just want to hug you like this. --always. ——It doesn’t matter if the world is destroyed, or the universe explodes, or the world collapses, then, believe me, only you are my first love forever. When Zhiwei rushed out of the school and ran to the attic of Lu Chuanzi's house, the sky had already started to darken, and the glow of the sky was still faintly emerging, but the street lights had already flickered early, flickering dimly. Of course she knew where Lu Chuanzi lived. In fact, as early as a long time ago, she was constantly looking for everything about Lu Chuanzi, so crazy that even she couldn't believe it. She quickly ran into the attic, and accidentally bumped into a girl who was walking downstairs in a panic. That girl had beautiful curly brown hair, and her beautiful face seemed to be beyond human. Zhiwei didn't have time to care about that much. , just hurriedly said "I'm sorry" to her, then continued to step on the old wooden steps, and quickly ran to the attic. The corridor in the attic was dark and damp, the girl with curly brown hair rubbed her shoulder just hit by Zhiwei, turned her head, and looked towards the place where she disappeared. She narrowed her eyes slightly, lowered her face, turned around, stroked her long brown curly hair, and dragged a big red suitcase out of the attic. Click—— cluck—— The luggage rubbed against the cold and hard stone floor, making a muffled sound. The attic corridor gradually being pulled away, her slender back left a deep and shallow loneliness all over the floor. The wooden steps creaked and creaked, and the hoarse voice still echoed throughout the narrow attic. Zhiwei was panting violently. Standing at the door of Lu Chuanzi's house, fine beads of sweat ooze from the corners of her forehead. She tried her best to calm the throbbing in her chest. She just raised her hand to knock on the door, but saw the door suddenly It was opened from the inside, and Lu Chuanzi appeared in front of Zhiwei with her upper body naked. She was really shocked, and instinctively stepped back a few steps, and exclaimed softly "ah". For Zhiwei, in the past seventeen years, she has never seen any topless appearance of the opposite sex, including her father. Lu Chuanzi smiled, ambiguously and vaguely, the corners of his mouth slanted to one side, fixed on his face, stretched out his slender arms and hugged Zhiwei, and brought her into the room without saying a word. Inside my own house.Closing the door behind his back, he put his arms around Zhiwei's slender waist, put his chin on her neck, and said with a smiling voice, "Baby, you are finally here." The room was in a mess, with scattered sheets everywhere, the curtains were drawn tightly, it was like a dark cave, Zhiwei felt faintly uneasy, she let Lu Chuanzi hug her tightly with a blushing face, slightly The gasp echoed throughout the silent room. "Because, you... were on the phone, I thought..." Zhiwei's voice was intermittent, and she would always appear incoherent in front of him. "Yeah, I'm dying." With that, he buried his face even deeper into her neck. Zhiwei couldn't help shrinking her shoulders, her face turned redder: "But, you now..." Isn't it good? "Well, I think you're thinking about it to death." With such sweet words, Zhiwei never wanted to guess how many girls he had talked to, she only knew that everything can be beautiful by his side, and there is no need to worry about everything. "Really?" There was a huge sweetness in her heart, even if she was deceived by him, even if she ran so far from school for a phone call from him, she still felt that everything was worth it. From the moment he took her admission notice out of the sewer, she really couldn't see anything but him. — would rather be blind. — would rather be deaf. — Gossip, would rather be fearless. "Why, don't you believe me?" Lu Chuanzi's lip stud gently rubbed against Zhiwei's ear bone, which caused slight pain and numbness. "no……" "I just want to see you. I have to see you. If it's not you, I can't." "Ok……" "Little Gardenia." "what?" "I've been a little tight lately, can you help me?" His voice was soft and gentle, like the beautiful but poisonous mandala fragrance, "I only have you, Little Gardenia, you are my best friend." Important, dear..." --money. Why, is it money again? Zhiwei bit her lips lightly, and spoke with some difficulty: "But, didn't I already lend it to you last time..." "That money is simply not enough." "But, but I..." "Dear little Zhihua, don't be so heartless, don't you have the heart to watch me fall into the street?" Zhiwei lowered her head, and finally nodded helplessly: "Okay, I'll find a way to find some money." "Really? Little Zhihua, I knew you were the best for me." Still whispering sweetly, the temperature on his body eroded every cell in Zhiwei's back inch by inch, as if melting with joy. Poison, always poisonous beauty. It's just that it tends to make people who taste it uncontrollably addicted. 直到欲罢不能，直到完全的被囚禁。 而栀薇却不会知道，她就是那个被路川紫身上的剧毒所囚禁的牺牲者。 “——小栀花，你说，你对我这么好，我是不是该给你一点奖励呢？” award? 她对他好，并不是贪图什么奖励的，况且她从来都没有想过这些。 “我……”栀薇正要开口，却突然被路川紫将身体扳了过来，接着，她被一个粗暴的动作打断了脑海中的所有一切。 He kissed her. 是的，不顾她惊愕的眼神，他吻了她。 混杂着掠夺般的欲望与预谋，他夺去了栀薇的初吻。 可是，那并不是栀薇曾经幻想过的初吻，几乎可以说是完全截然不同。它没有带着洁白轻柔的颤抖，也没有带着梦幻唯美的浪漫，而是霸道得几乎让她窒息。 窗外的蝉像是被拨动了开关，撕裂一般的鸣叫。 squeak-- squeak-- 漫长的夏季，窗帘被微风轻轻刮起，软制的布料在空气中翻飞作响，安静而又寂寥。 昏暗的屋子里面，女生下意识地想要从男生的怀抱中挣脱，反而被男生搂得更紧，女生似乎可以听见自己全身的骨节都在他的禁锢中发生咯吱咯吱的响声。 仿佛要全部被捏碎，被折断，让她无处可躲，无处可逃，吻的喘息宛如澎湃激烈的潮水将她的全身所覆盖，夺取她的氧气，毫无求救的措施，那场潮水渐渐地漫过了她的脚踝，漫过了她的小腿，漫过了她的腰，漫过了她的脖子，终于在最后到达了头顶，淹没了全部的呼吸，心里面，就像是被插上了一把刀。 ——所有的一切，全部无法再获得救赎。 ——噩梦侵占了纯白的领地，带着毒药味道的吻让纯真与美好被迫接受了黑暗与堕落。 ——以及无边无际的绞痛。 这个如同一个世纪般长短的吻，直到桑然突然将房门打开出现在了他们的面前才得以结束。 同租的房子。 主人是路川紫与桑然。 刚刚走进屋子里面，桑然站在门口，一瞬间惊怔，看到栀薇满脸绯红与尴尬地推开路川紫，桑然若有所思地笑了一下，那样的神情不知道是嘲笑还是惊讶，格外的复杂： “真抱歉，我破坏你们的好事了吧。” ——你知不知道，发现自己被囚禁的那一刻，首先要做的，就是要想方设法去外界求救。 这么简单的道理，你难道就不懂吗？ 夜色深沉，路灯晕黄的跳跃着光亮，将黑暗撕裂开来，破出了一道大大的口子。 栀薇走出阁楼，用力地抬起手擦拭着嘴巴，一种莫名的罪恶感涌遍了她的全身，她竟会感到不知所措。 风卷起了翠绿的树叶沙沙地翻舞，直到最后落尽黑暗里。 她面露委屈地抬起头的时候，看到了从阁楼的搂道里面走出来的桑然，于是，她就像个做错事的小孩子一样慌忙低下了头，绯红了双颊，不敢去直视他。 似乎是发现了她的窘迫，桑然冷漠的眼神顿时软了下来。 “你为什么要来这里？”桑然问。 “因为，路川紫打电话给我。”她有些弱弱的回答，潜意识里，她觉得自己似乎在一路走错。 桑然看了看栀薇：“你知道，你是他的第几个吗？” “什么？”栀薇没有听懂。 “同学，我忠告你，你不是他唯一的一个，也绝对不会是他最后一个受害者，还是醒醒吧。” “……桑然，你在说什么啊？” “我在说什么？你，难道没有听说过老鹰捉小鸡的游戏吗？” 栀薇疑惑的轻轻皱眉。 老鹰捉小鸡的游戏？ 可是，那又是什么意思呢？和她有什么关系吗？ “别再犯傻了。”桑然有些讽刺似的勾动一边的嘴角，“好端端的干吗非要去玩火呢？小心到最后惹火自焚，那你可就亏本大了。”然后，他转身离开，重新走进了阁楼里面。 楼道中的黑暗，瞬间将他的背影侵蚀吞没掉了。 就在栀薇与桑然站在阁楼下面对话的那段时间空隙—— 路川紫躺在矮小老旧的床铺上，嘴巴里面叼着一支烟，星星点点的火光在黑暗的光线中跳跃，整个昏暗的房间里面飘荡着的满是BLACK DEVIL的味道。 他丢在地板上面的手机突然响了起来，蓝色的夜光屏幕顿时照亮了一块微小的空间，他懒散地伸出手，在地板上摸索了一通，直到手指碰触到了手机的硬邦邦的外壳。 于是，他不耐烦地将手机拿到眼前一看。 屏幕上显示着的来电人的名字是：诺乔。 是“诺乔”，不是“戚诺乔”。 如此亲昵的称呼。 路川紫突然就皱了皱眉，他闭上眼睛，猛地将手机后面的电池卸掉，然后迅速地将手机扔到了地上，黑暗的屋子里面，再度回归了平静。 死气沉沉的平静。 几乎喘不过气来的平静。 如果不是走进了不见天日的深渊里，为什么你就不能够稍微的挣扎一下呢？ 哪怕小小的一下也好啊！ 天色全部黑下来。 光线被吞噬之后，整个世界似乎都安静了下来，连喧嚣也落入了地底。 夏季总是有漫长的蝉鸣声在耳膜深处来来回回地缠绵着缭绕，撕裂般的“吱”“吱”的鸣叫，像是坏掉了开关，怎样都停不掉。 从那片废弃的军用机场走出来之后，莫樊律推着银色的单车哼着奇怪的曲子走在前面，而苏半夏则是安静地跟在他的身后，一路踢着地面上细小却坚硬的石子。 昏黄的路灯在头顶上明明灭灭，将男生和女生的影子拉得长长的，仿佛是两条形状奇怪的黑色平行线。 莫樊律突然停了下来，车轮摩擦地面，发出了一声“吱嘎”的刹车响，他侧过脸，胸前的银环项链闪烁着点点可以刺伤眼的光斑，他看着她说：“那个，我送你回家吧！你家在哪里？” “不用了。”苏半夏抬起头，望着他，“我自己回去就可以了。” “可是这么晚了……” "It doesn't matter." “呃，是吗……”他倏地就露出了受伤一般的失落眼神，可是却没有被苏半夏察觉到，也没有被任何人察觉到，因为那眼神转瞬便消失不见。 "Ok." “那我走了？” "Ok." “喂，我是想说，其实我……” "what?" “……”莫樊律张了张嘴巴，可是最终还是不知道应该怎样将接下来要说的话表达得完美清晰，至少能够让她听得懂。 真是伤脑筋，他从来都没有感觉到这么麻烦过，难道说是他退化了不成？以前在女生的面前，他根本不可能会显现得像现在这般笨拙，怪了，他怎么会沦落到了如此田地？ "Do you have anything else to do?" “有事有事——”莫樊律急忙大声地说，“其实我是想要问你，是想要问你，是想要问你……” “你到底想要问我什么啊？”加在一起，他一共连续说了三遍“是想要问你”，苏半夏觉得他此刻的表情有种说不出的滑稽，她差点就忍不住笑了出来。 正当苏半夏还沉浸在自己的思绪中的时候，莫樊律就突然指着她的身后，睁大眼睛夸张地喊：“哇，是栀薇——” 苏半夏顿时惊了一惊，听到栀薇的名字，她本能地就转过头去看，可是身后除了空荡荡的街道以外就只剩下明明灭灭的昏黄路灯，连一个人影都没有看到，更别说是栀薇了，她眼底的光刹那间就灭了下来。 事实证明，他又在骗她。 她有些生气地皱起眉头，刚刚把头转回来，就感觉他温热的呼吸散布在了自己的脸颊上，湿润而又柔和，有着男孩子特有的味道。 随后，她的手指猛烈地一颤，男生的那个吻就顺理成章地落在了她的唇瓣上。 一切声音似乎都戛然而止。 头顶香樟树的枝叶簌簌声仿佛“咔嚓”一声就全部折断，苏半夏在那个轻盈地如同蝉翼一般微薄的吻中蓦地就迷失了方向。 突然就茫然无措。 突然就不知该如何是好。 心脏在剧烈地跳动，仿佛即将冲出她的胸腔，她只是迅速地抬起手，捂住了嘴巴，苏半夏露出了一脸惊慌的表情，脸颊上泛起了莫名其妙的红晕，就像是白烂的肥皂电视剧里面纯情的女主角一样。 看到苏半夏那么吃惊的表情，莫樊律的脸也是史无前例地红了起来，这种事情对他来说只是家常便饭而已，可是，这一秒钟，他却怕苏半夏会哭起来，顿时变得手足无措，此刻，他开始怀疑自己是不是太过急躁，所以做出了什么坏事情。 “你……该不会是又要哭了吧？”莫樊律感觉自己试探性的声音竟然略微有些发抖。 “谁会哭啊！”苏半夏红着脸紧皱住眉头，很生气地抬起脸瞪住他，“我看要哭出来的人是你才对吧！” 莫樊律愣了愣，随后禁不住咧着嘴巴笑了起来，像是松了一口气那般：“放心放心，我可是从来都没有哭过的，并且将来也不打算为任何事情流眼泪，嘿嘿。” 说得那么自信又那么肯定的样子！ 苏半夏更加觉得不服气地红了脸，她扬了扬下巴，抬起手毫不客气地就朝着他的胸口给了一拳，随后转身就走。 身后的莫樊律故意装出一副很吃痛的表情，他捂住胸口冲她的背影大声喊：“喂喂，美女，你要去哪儿啊？” “回家！”咬牙切齿地背对着他丢出一句。 夏夜的风从头顶像是流水一样哗啦哗啦地流淌而过。 莫樊律站在路灯下方，静静地望着苏半夏逐渐消失在自己视野中的背影，嘴角慢慢地勾起了一抹美好的笑，灿烂清澈到刺眼。 ——原来，我们曾经如此勇敢地对视是在为之后懦弱的结局作下完美的铺垫。 苏半夏在昏黄的路灯之下穿梭着，她本以为莫樊律会追上来的，可是她回头看了很多次，却始终没有看到他的身影。 怪了，还真把自己当成白烂肥皂剧里面的纯情女主角了不成？在心底质疑地问了一句，苏半夏不禁撇了撇嘴巴。 大概是走了二十分钟的路程，她回家的道路必须要经过一家叫做“等待”的酒吧，而那家酒吧的东边有一条大河。 回家啊！ 苏半夏闭上眼睛，脑子里面立刻就浮现出了家中那个老太婆的恶心嘴脸。 几乎让她想吐。 夜风吹起她的长发，柔软的发丝仿佛绸缎一般在空气中发翻飞起来。 被风的温度染得冰凉冰凉。 河岸上湿淋淋的水汽在路灯的照耀下泛起了暗黄色的光斑，粼粼荡漾，扩散出一圈又一圈的涟漪，沉淀了喧嚣的心跳声。 她还是第一次走到这条河的附近。 苏半夏抬了抬头，看清楚了周围的格局。四层高的老旧小阁楼，阁楼的外表凹凸不平，泛着一层又一层黏稠的暗黄印记，歪歪扭扭地伫立在地皮上面，看起来就像是一个随时都有可能倾斜塌陷的古塔，充满了危险而又深沉的气息。 其实，这些都并不重要。 重要的是，苏半夏在那栋老旧的阁楼下面看到了一个让她既陌生又熟悉的身影。 总之，她无法做到将自己的目光从那个身影上移开。 苏半夏不禁微微眯起眼睛，借由黑暗中的微亮光线眺望过去，如果她没有记错的话，她曾经在学校里面见过那个身影的主人，正是他来向栀薇要回学生卡的那个时候。 那个人，确实是路川紫。 黑暗的光，吞噬掉了整颗心脏。 轿车的鸣笛声在耳膜深处带刺划过，昏黄的车灯光亮扑闪着从眼前消散，拉出长长的一条暗黄色的痕迹。苏半夏望着阁楼下的路川紫，他卡其色的名牌外套显得格外的耀眼。 此刻，他正在和一个穿着白色风衣的中年女人拉拉扯扯，似乎是在争吵着什么的样子，中年女人从LV的皮包里面拿出一沓子粉色的钞票塞进他的手里，他却皱着眉不屑地将钱狠狠地摔了满地，哗哗啦啦的百元纸币被夜风吹得飘散在空气中，雪花一般纷纷扬扬。 中年女人竟然会将那么多的钱塞给一个几乎可以当她儿子的男生。 那一瞬间，苏半夏感觉自己脑子里面的所有思路全部中断。 她看到那个中年女人满脸泪痕地开着BMW的跑车消失在了夜色的尽头，她看到路川紫不屑地朝着那辆车的背影吐了一口口水，随后，他却弯下腰，戏谑地笑着，伸出手指一张一张地将地面上的钱捡了起来。 一张，一张，又一张。 他捡了起来。 苏半夏就那样看着，她感觉自己的视网膜被狠狠地扯痛了。 ——路川紫，这样会玩弄“欲擒故纵”招数的男生，就是栀薇的男朋友吗？ 她与他之间，相隔的就如同是一个世纪般长短的距离。 直到，路川紫将地上的钱全部都捡了起来，嚼着口中的口香糖上扬起嘴角，他抬起头，看到了站在不远处的苏半夏。 他与她，四目相对。 相互之间的目光紧紧地绷成了一条线，谁都没有退缩。 路川紫眯起眼睛，看向苏半夏的瞳孔里面闪过一抹暗光，他似乎认出了苏半夏是“谁”的朋友，不过，他不想给自己找麻烦，所以，他便装出一副不认识她的表情，不以为然地耸了耸肩膀，然后转身离开，向阁楼里面走过去。 在他转身的那一刻，身后传来了奔跑的脚步声，然后，他感到自己的衣角从后面被人拉住了。 蓦地，他顿住了身形，侧回头看过去，苏半夏正抓住了他的衣角，眼底堆起了黯淡的光点。 “……你是在做那种事情吗？”苏半夏紧紧地瞪着路川紫，没有自我介绍，也没有友好地打招呼，而是用一种审判犯人一般的质问语气。 ——那种事情。那种事情。那种事情。 “不好意思，美女，我认识你吗？”他仍旧故意摆出“不知道苏半夏是谁”的无辜表情。 “我知道的，你认识我。”苏半夏的手死死地抓紧了他的衣角，卡其色的外套已经被她攥出了层层褶皱，“——我是在问你，你是不是在做那种事情？” “嗯……让我想想，你说的那种事情，莫非，你知道那种事情是什么样的事情？” “你只需要回答我'是'，或者'不是'。”她的口气很坚定，手指却在无意识间微微颤抖。 “OK！OK！随你怎么想吧。”他斜着眼睛数了数手中的钱，“你觉得是就是，你觉得不是就不是喽。” 几乎是把问题全部推回了给了她。 他就像是一只狡猾的狐狸，全身都散发出危险的气息。 阁楼的楼下很黑，黑得几乎看不到任何的光亮。 沉默吞噬了心跳。只余下轻微起伏着的彼此的呼吸声。 半晌，苏半夏轻声开口：“……我不会告诉栀薇我看到了什么，所以，你也不要去伤害栀薇。” “哈！”他不禁觉得好笑，转身过来，俯下腰，饶有兴致地打量起面前的苏半夏，“你知道，你在说什么吗？” "I know." “哦？你知道？” “我知道，你是栀薇的男朋友。” “男朋友啊……”他用一副不以为然的口气将语调向上拉长，挑起一边的眉毛暧昧地笑着，“那么，美女，我可以理解为你是在求我吗？” "..." “欸？真的假的？你果真是在求我？” “……你就当做是吧。” “哈哈，真好笑，她是你什么人啊，犯得着为了她来求一个你根本不认识的人？有意思，勇气可嘉也！好啊，如果你想让我答应你，你就求我看看啊。” 顿时，苏半夏感觉自己的耳膜在嗡嗡作响，她低下头，咬住牙齿，眼睛睁得很大很大，像是一只在暗夜中走失方向的野猫。 她的瞳孔在不断地扩大，随后又猛地紧缩。 良久，苏半夏终于挣扎着开口，对路川紫艰难地低声说道：“——我求你。” ——别去伤害她。 ——请你别去伤害她。 ——我求求你，求求你了。 大片大片的梧桐树叶被风吹散在头顶，一瓣一瓣地飞进苏半夏的头发里，然后，又呼啦呼啦地任风卷起，消失在了街道黑暗的尽头。 消失在了黑暗的尽头。 路川紫轻轻上扬起嘴角，抬起手，用一沓子冰凉的纸币去拍了拍苏半夏的脸，戏谑地说： “你凭什么认为，只要你求我，我就一定会答应你呢？” 钱的腐臭味道扩散在空气中不断漂散，直到钻进了她的鼻孔里。 苏半夏的脑子里面，就像是突然飞进了一架飞机，还没等到降落，就轰然坠地。 机身爆炸了。 夏天的夜晚在庞大而又壮烈的微风之中变得安静，变得悲伤，变得空旷。 你能够想象得到，在遥远得浩瀚的宇宙里，这个世界不过只是一颗径直孤单而又微不足道的旋转着的蔚蓝色星球吗？ ——亲爱的栀薇，无论发生什么事情，请你都不要哭泣，无论发生什么事情，都请你勇敢地走下去。 不然，你要是哭了的话，我又该怎么办呢？