Chapter 4 Chapter 1 Summer Gardenia you are my best love

Then, Pinellia, the distance between me and you may be as close as the sky and the earth, but far away. We are clearly close at hand, but we regard the end of the sky as the focal length of the coastline. ——Excerpted from Zhiwei's Quotations. At five o'clock in the morning, the alarm clock rang very punctually, and the sharp prelude buzzed frantically beside the eardrums, and Zhiwei woke up from the soft velvet bed with a jerk. "Weiwei, get up and have breakfast!" The mother's urging voice came from the living room. "Well, come." With such a low response, Zhiwei slowly got up, stretched out her white hands and rubbed her sleepy eyes, then changed the red and white plaid nightdress, and put them on one by one. Putting on his uniform jacket and skirt, he ran to the mirror and neatly tied his red tie.

Glancing at the three pink hundred-yuan bills on the desk, she paused, thought for a moment, walked over to pick them up, held them for a look, then put the corners of her mouth tightly into the pocket of her uniform. There are three sets of bowls and chopsticks on the white glass dining table. "Vivi, let's eat." "Come and eat, go to school after eating, by the way, isn't there a monthly exam next week? How are you getting ready?" Father flipped through the newspaper in his hand, occasionally took a bite of food with his chopsticks, and occasionally glanced at Zhiwei on the opposite side.

"Well, it's okay." Zhiwei smiled, then lowered her head and continued to eat. Then no one spoke. There was only silence in the living room. It was so quiet that Zhiwei could almost forget her own existence. There was the sound of splashing water in the kitchen. It was still very early in the morning, and the morning fog began to gradually dissipate. When Zhiwei opened the door, a breeze with the smell of green grass rushed towards her face, getting into every hair follicle of her body to wash. Sure enough, I still like the taste of early summer the most. Zhiwei breathed in the fresh air greedily, then raised the corners of her beautiful mouth, picked up the white NIKE schoolbag, stomped her feet, and said "I'm leaving" into the house, and then turned to the station sign not far away. go.

Turning out of an intersection in the street, just as Zhiwei raised her head, she saw Mo Fanlu riding a bicycle in front of her. "Hey," Mo Fanlu turned his face sideways, a pair of beautiful and deep pupils slightly narrowed, narrow eyes, still such a delicate and handsome face. "Good morning, dear Zhiwei." Suddenly, something in the thin light stung her eyes, Zhiwei frowned subconsciously, and when she looked over again, it turned out to be the ring necklace hanging around Mo Fanlu's neck. Layers of delicate silver rings were strung together layer by layer. Black linen threads connected them, and piled up on his chest like spots of light.

I heard that those are "locks of fate".It is to be given to the person who is connected with his fate, to lock everything in the other party. Humph. Hypocritical liar.Zhiwei bulged her cheeks. "...Why is it you again?" "Well. Because we are neighbors." "Even if you are a neighbor, you don't have to come here and wait for me every day." "But I will get lost if I go to school alone." She said deliberately coquettishly. "Lost? How is it possible, I said, you have moved here for more than half a month, right?" "It's probably thirteen or fourteen days." Mo Fanlu seemed to be thinking about it seriously, and then continued to deliberately slow down the speed of his bicycle to follow behind Zhiwei, "Hey, little friend Zhiwei, you Do you still have to take the bus today? I said I’ll just give you a ride, it’s really not cute.”

"...I don't know you well, why should I take your car?" "Aren't you just getting acquainted?" "Uh." Zhiwei was suddenly at a loss for words. Looking back, it was probably half a month ago, and Zhiwei seems to be unable to remember the exact time, it was almost not long after she entered high school, and it was the only cloudy day since the beginning of this summer . The weather forecast said "light rain will turn to heavy rain" and also announced the level of strong winds.Originally, it was the weekend, so Zhiwei remembered it very clearly, but the fact that high school had to make up classes even on weekends was really a headache.

There was a low, muffled rumble of thunder in the gray sky. When Zhiwei was walking on a small path that was very close to the door of the house, she felt the oncoming sand blowing slightly on her face, so she quickened her pace.Just when she was about to pass the corner, Zhiwei stopped suddenly. With her eyes, she spotted a thin and handsome boy on the wall not far away. He threw down his schoolbag first, and then jumped to the ground lightly and sensitively with a "bang". He patted the dust off his hands, and the silver rings and necklaces around his neck collided with each other.

Make a ding dong ding dong sound. Ok.Zhiwei guessed that if she remembered correctly, the attic behind the wall had been advertised as "for sale, price negotiable" a few days ago, in other words, this boy and his family were the new owners of that attic ? Thus, Zhiwei and Mo Fanlu turned from strangers to neighbors inexplicably. Moreover, Zhiwei also accidentally learned from her mother and father after returning home that Mo Fanlu entered her high school with the second place in the city. What kind of beautiful words should be used to describe this young man? Excellent in character and learning?Well-behaved?Respect the old and love the young?Or gentle and harmless?

In short, in the final analysis, he is really amazing. But-- But that day, why did he not go through the main entrance, but why did he want to jump out of the fence? With conjunctions such as "because" and "so", there is—— The word "cai". The mist is slowly drifting away, moving bit by bit. The smell of camphor mixed with the smell of weeds extends to the sky. Zhiwei recalled the situation at that time, then turned her head to look at Mo Fanlu who was following her, and paused for a moment, so Mo Fanlu put the speed of the bicycle in the slowest gear. "That..." Zhiwei felt a little hard to say, but she couldn't let it go, "I want to ask you something."

"Ask!" Mo Fanlu's black eyes were bent into beautiful arcs, and his brown hair always showed softness involuntarily. The uniforms he wore every day were so clean and tidy. Neat, typical gentle and well-behaved image of a superior teenager. If so-- "Why do you deliberately pretend to be a good boy?" "What do you mean?" After a pause, the boy's surprised expression was projected into Zhiwei's startled gaze. "That day... was the day you just moved here. Maybe you didn't see me, but when I passed by, I saw you fall off the wall..."

"Ok." "Then, I saw you and another girl jumped from the wall." "Ok." "And..." Zhi Wei bit her lower lip and hesitated, "And...you still..." "Oh, you mean, kiss?" "Uh! No need, no need to say it!" Zhiwei's voice was full of shyness, she felt her face was hot, and Mo Fanlu's words were too harsh for her. That kind of sensitive word is her forbidden zone. Mo Fanlu couldn't hold back his smile, and sighed slightly: "Oh, you are really a child when you say you are a child? Why are you blushing? It's not normal to kiss you! But, does that have anything to do with pretending to be good? ?” "Of course...of course it has something to do with it!" For the word "very normal", Zhiwei gave him a disconvinced look and bit her lips, "If your mother knew what you looked like, she would definitely be very sad." Said After finishing, Zhiwei clutched the shoulder strap of her schoolbag and turned to leave. Just two steps away, she turned around and threw a sentence to Mo Fanlu: "If you continue like this, one day you will regret it!" Seeing Zhiwei walking forward angrily, Mo Fanlu finally couldn't hold back, and burst out laughing: "Who does she think she is—" Made it like Joan of Arc. Mo Fanlu rode on the bicycle and moved forward very slowly. Reminiscing about Zhiwei's sentence "Why do you pretend to be a good boy?" I feel more and more obscure around the corners of my mouth, but I also find it ridiculous, more real and interesting than any joke. The ring necklaces on his chest flashed and showed off each other. The bustling breath of street lamps danced on his temples. — Your mother would be very sad if she knew what you looked like. With such a sentence, Mo Fanlu sensed that the blood in his heart seemed to be unable to flow to the atrium, and there was a sign that a certain delicate rope was about to jump away gradually. With the sound of "creaking", the wheels of the bicycle rubbed against the ground fiercely, Mo Fanlu's figure stopped, his eyes narrowed unconsciously, and he raised his hand to block the glare of the light above his head. Zhiwei, she seemed to be talking to another girl beside her, with a beautiful and bright smile on her fair face. He felt a little curious, so he moved his eyes and fixed the focus on the face of the girl beside Zhiwei. What kind of face is that? Mo Fanlu felt that he stopped breathing and his heart beating in an instant. The eardrums were buzzing with bangs and noises. Breakpoints, faults, and then broken strings. Have you ever felt like this. That feeling when your eyes are fixed on someone's face and you can't take it away. The world seemed to stop turning. You can hardly see anything or anyone around you except her. That's how it feels. In the classroom, I am doing self-study in the morning.On Friday, the morning reading is English. At noon, ring the bell. Go to the cafeteria for lunch. The beef bowl window in the cafeteria is always full of people.From a distance, it looks like a bunch of ants scrambling for food. Su Banxia was carrying the meal she had just prepared and wanted to find a quieter place to sit down, then she heard a voice from a place not far in front of her by the window saying hello to her: "—Ban Xia Ban Xia, this way! Come over here!" Su Banxia squinted her eyes slightly and looked over, the sunlight shone into her clear pupils, and there was such a beautiful and gentle smile hanging on the corner of her mouth obediently. It's Zhiwei. Sitting in the back is a freshman who is also a freshman in high school, and the girl is always chattering and talking non-stop: "Hey, I heard that there is a new hairdressing shop opposite the school. I went to get my hair trimmed yesterday." "Ah, is there any handsome guy in there?" "It's better to be a handsome guy with a lot of money and real estate! Hahaha." —and so on. Su Banxia felt extremely irritated when she heard it. "Then, Banxia, ​​what are you thinking about?" Zhiwei blinked her eyes, tapped Su Banxia's lunch box with her chopsticks, and then Su Banxia smiled at Zhiwei as if she had come to her senses. "Oh, it's nothing." Su Banxia shook her head, then took a mouthful of food and put it in her mouth. I saw you walking with a boy from a distance, is he your boyfriend?" Boyfriend, Mo Fanlu? "Uh, how is it possible, it's not!" Zhiwei swallowed the porridge in her mouth, waved her hand hastily, and seriously rejected it. "Very handsome." Seeing Zhiwei's flustered appearance, Su Banxia couldn't help but chuckled, "Besides, puppy love is nothing unusual." "But he's not a good person." Zhiwei lowered the corners of her mouth as if feeling aggrieved, she used chopsticks to smash the rice on the plate, and muttered softly, "...and, the person I like is not him." "Really, it turns out that you have someone you like?" Su Banxia opened her eyes slightly, as if thinking that Zhiwei's "having someone she likes" is a big news that is even more surprising than Halley's Comet hitting the earth. A good baby like Zhiwei? ? "...Forget it, let's do it." The tone was shy, and her cheeks were flushed. Su Banxia held her chin with one hand, stared carefully at Zhiwei's clear eyes, and smiled with interest, "Hey, do I know you?" "Hmm... that's right, the guy who asked me for a student card last time... that boy!" Zhiwei's expression was full of pride and happiness, and even Su Banxia mistakenly thought that she was assimilated by this expression up. ——Lu Chuanzi? In my impression, Su Banxia probably remembered the name of the boy who came to ask for a student card. That's the name. "Oh, it's him!" Su Banxia curled her lips, inadvertently revealing some subtle changes in her tone. "What's wrong?" Zhiwei raised her head and asked. "No...it's nothing." I thought it should be some top student or the monitor of some class, but it seemed unreasonable if it was "him".In fact, she wanted to say this very much, but in the end, she was forced back down her throat by reason. Since Zhiwei likes it, maybe...he might be a good boy.Su Banxia lowered her eyes, barely convincing herself. However, Zhiwei's reason for liking Lu Chuanzi is so simple that it makes people feel a little irresponsible. What "help yourself pick up the admission notice from the sewer when you register for school" is such an absurd and ridiculous reason, even some idiots, terrible girlish feelings. Su Banxia looked down at the disgustingly smashed food on her plate, and suddenly lost her appetite, from the day she decided to go to high school, from the day she met Zhiwei, from being pulled by her From the day she picked it up, Su Banxia began to loathe herself fiercely, just like loathing the sticky food on the plate now, in an unknown corner of her chest, there was always violent tumbling , layer by layer, it was so dull that it was suffocating. For such a dirty self, for the self who is always indulging in darkness and cruelty. Zhiwei is like some kind of "sanctuary". In Su Banxia's eyes, it was a place that she longed for forever but could never reach. "Ban Xia, why don't you talk? Ah... what's wrong with your forehead?" Zhi Wei's worried voice buzzed around her eardrums. "Ah, this?" Su Banxia was stunned for a moment, then raised her hand and touched the place on her forehead that was covered by her hair, and wiped a clot of blood that had solidified, "It's okay, it's just a little bit of skin, it's already healed." Such a simple yet full of irony. Zhiwei couldn't help raising her white and soft hand, and touched the scar on Su Banxia's forehead. "It's really all right." Su Banxia dodged subconsciously, and inadvertently frowned, as if she was afraid that Zhiwei would ask about the origin of the scar, but she actually didn't want to recall it at all. "No, it will be bad if the wound becomes inflamed. Banxia, ​​wait here, I'll buy you a band-aid." Then, Zhiwei didn't hear Su Banxia's "no need", but He straightly stood up from his seat, unexpectedly, before he could take a step, he bumped into the arms of a boy in the aisle. "哗啦——" a sound. The beef bowl in the boy's hand spilled straight onto his Adidas sneakers like a parabola. "You don't have eyes when you walk!" The boy took a step back and almost yelled out the whole sentence hysterically. Coupled with the whispers around the cafeteria, Zhiwei felt that her face was so red that she couldn't look at it anymore. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I..." Zhi Wei panicked and just wanted to bend down to help the boy shine his shoes, but was pulled back by Su Banxia beside her. "What are you yelling about!" Su Banxia yelled at the boy angrily. The next second, when she grabbed the boy's collar, Su Banxia was stunned. "Ke...Jiang..." "—Su, Su Banxia? Why are you?" The boy also widened his eyes and cried out in surprise. Su Banxia sometimes couldn't help sighing. In this world, there are really words like "reunion" or "weird" that are connected together. in other words-- No matter how many times we are separated, we will always meet again, which is really a corny and hypocritical comparison. playground. The lush shadow of the camphor tree falls on the cobbled stone path, extending continuously, mixed with the fragments of sunlight. Su Banxia walked out from the cafeteria to a quiet and empty path full of weeds in the woods behind the playground.Away from the harsh shouts and cheers of the basketball court, away from the nympho topics of girls chirping, and away from all the annoying places on campus. Yes, stay away, and stay away. The noise in the teaching building can still be heard from such a long distance, like the secret and cold tide wets the festering scar in the heart, making it astringent, sour, and swollen. Su Banxia raised her head and saw in the window of the corridor on the third floor, Zhiwei was walking towards the class, with a faint smile on her lips. Whenever she sees such a smile, a dark wound that is about to emerge in Su Banxia's heart seems to return to the remote calm again. Her world was no longer full of noises, and finally slowly solidified and continued to sleep. Few people come on the wooded path behind the school.Under the feet are withered flowers, soft and hard covered the low and obscure ground, a stream of damp moisture. Behind Su Banxia was still followed by faint, intermittent footsteps, she frowned, and turned angrily to look at Ke Jiang who was always behind. "Why have you been following me?" Su Banxia's expression was so indifferent, as if the barrier had been opened in an instant. Ke Jiang seemed startled by Su Banxia's sudden movement and voice. She first yelled "ah", then cleared her throat coughing and coughing, looked at Su Banxia, ​​and said helplessly: "Ban Xia, don't look like this, okay, I know my mother was wrong at that time, but it's been so long..." Su Banxia suddenly regained her composure, she turned her head and said: "No, your mother is right. Don't hang out with me all the time. Children like me will spoil you. Your mother is also doing it for your own good." "Don't say that, aren't we friends?" Ke Jiang frowned and lowered her eyes complainingly. "..." "Isn't it?" "...Yes." After a while, Su Banxia's heart softened, and she finally compromised. There is a kind of love called friendship. There is a friendship called love. There is also a kind of love called love that transcends friendship and also transcends love. For Su Banxia, ​​probably, Ke Jiang is such an existence. The distant horizon, across the bright sky divided by the sun.There is a silent snort all around, like a breeze passing through the top of a camphor tree branch. Su Banxia and Ke Jiang sat on the ground full of weeds, feeling a little damp. The ordinary young man beside him was still wearing the tail ring she gave him back then, shining brightly.He slightly bent his quiet eyebrows, turned sideways and looked at her, his voice was as gentle as before. "Hey, I thought you weren't in high school anymore." "As you know, I like to play against that old woman in my family. If she doesn't let me go to school, I will go to school anyway." "...Then, did she hit you again? The wound on your forehead..." "Well, I hit. But I fought back too." "Really." Inadvertently, Ke Jiang frowned slightly. In fact, it is not the first time that Ke Jiang knows about Su Banxia and their family.It's just that even if you know it, you still can't do anything about it. I still remember that in the third year of junior high school, she was injured by her old woman and bled a lot. He just took 800 yuan from his family and sent it to her in a hurry, but he forgot to leave a message. , so his mother ran to the school and reported her situation to the teacher. "Don't think that my son is simple, so you go to cheat him of money. How can a girl be so despicable! She simply has no sense of shame! Do you still have a tutor!" Even so, even in the face of humiliating Su Banxia's mother, Ke Jiang is still powerless. The only thing he could do was to keep saying to Su Banxia, ​​"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." So more than once, Su Banxia said to him, "You are really indecisive". This has been the case since she was a child. For Ke Jiang, the words of her parents are the imperial decree. Even if it is a chicken feather, Ke Jiang cannot disobey her parents' arrangement in her heart. Even just imagining it a little now makes Ke Jiang feel restless. But whenever he is called "cowardly" by others, there will still be dull and delicate pain in Ke Jiang's chest. Back and forth, wandering around. It seems like it will never stop. He doesn't want to be cowardly, and he doesn't want to be indecisive. However, he has no choice. Ke Jiang closed her eyes, the wind blew past the corners of her eyes sparsely, put one hand on the ground, then slowly opened her eyes, turned her face slightly, and suddenly turned to Su Banxia as if remembering something, and said: "Then, who was the girl with you just now?" Su Banxia raised her head, looked at his dark and clear pupils, and suddenly smiled, "Why, the type you like?" In this world, is there really such a thing as love at first sight? Ke Jiang pursed her lips in embarrassment, as if trying to hide her inner expression, she hurriedly stood up from the grass, her cheeks flushed slightly, "Uh... just don't tell me, what are you talking about?" .” "Zhiwei." Suddenly, Ke Jiang's figure paused. "I said, her name is Zhiwei." Ke Jiang turned her head and looked at Su Banxia's smile in a daze. An unknown place in his heart seemed to be stirred up by an inexplicable wave, and what was heard in his eardrums was the sound of sea water beating against the rocky shore, one wave after another, continuously. It was the first time I saw Su Banxia such a clear smile. ...is it a dream? The time of two classes has just passed. Su Banxia's seat next to her was still empty, Zhiwei rubbed her fingertips worriedly, wondering why Su Banxia and that boy went out from the cafeteria, and they haven't come back for so long. It must be someone I knew before, right? Because they seem to be very close, they should be good friends.Zhiwei couldn't help thinking so. When get out of class was over, Zhiwei was lying on the table waiting for Su Banxia.The sun shines on her soft hair in small pieces, like spots of light, like yellow and orange gems. beep beep—— The phone vibrated suddenly in his pocket. Zhiwei was startled by the sudden voice, Su Banxia's face first appeared in her mind, and she quickly took out her phone from her pocket and turned it on. Oh, it's a short message. From—Lu Chuanzi. Zhiwei's eyes sparkled instantly. This was the first time she had received a short message from Lu Chuanzi since she told Lu Chuanzi her mobile phone number.So Zhiwei ecstatically pressed the check button, and the sky-blue luminous screen displayed concise language—— "Bring five hundred yuan. I'll wait for you opposite the school. Now, right away." Five hundred! Zhiwei was stunned for a moment, and after realizing it, she immediately took out the wallet with the head of Kitty the cat, and carefully counted the various banknotes in it. The total was only more than two hundred yuan, not five hundred yuan at all. so many. She bit her lip, picked up the phone in confusion and pressed the "reply" button, trying to type "two hundred dollars, is it okay?" before exiting. "no". He must need it urgently, otherwise he wouldn't say "now" and "immediately", two hundred yuan must not be allowed. But what to do?She doesn't have that much money now. The last time Lu Chuanzi came to ask her for her student card back, she had already borrowed 300 yuan from her. The difference was less than a week, and her parents hadn't given her a new pocket money yet. money-- what to do?What should we do? How could she help him in any way she could. At least think that in your saddest and most needy moments, the first thing that comes to your mind is my face... Zhiwei involuntarily clenched the wallet in her hand. The corridors are a bit noisy. Some girls walked through the crowd with arm in arm laughing, curly yellow waves fluttering on their shoulders, like Pomeranians that can be seen everywhere on the street.Occasionally, boys from other classes bumped into me, and then they would yell loudly, "Do you have eyes?", "Die!" If you think that the other party will say "sorry" very modestly, then you are wrong.He would probably fight back not to be outdone, "What's your name, ugly girl, believe it or not, I'll flatter you". There will be people watching and applauding. Maybe there will be someone who recklessly comes out to fight, but will be thrown a sentence like "Midget your own business, get out of the way". Such is the world. Inch by inch, it erodes your life, whether you like it or hate it. Gradually the orange-yellow light came in from the windows in the corridor, and then it refracted brightly on the bright stone surface everywhere, and obvious dust was jumping everywhere in the air, spreading into blurred spots of light. Ke Jiang put her hands in the pockets of her uniform trousers, bowed slightly so thin that she could almost see her clavicle, squinted half-closed to clarify her beautiful jet-black pupils, and at the end of her smooth and slender fingers was a small tail ring with shining spots. Holding a carton of 550ml milk, he walked through the hallway. The gate of Class One (3) of Senior High School. Ke Jiang bit the straw, put one hand on the door frame, and half leaned into the classroom of Class 1 (3), squinting her eyes and looking around. "who is he?" "It looks cute, does it look like the champion of which show last year, what is it called Jing Boran?" "Hehe, the hair tape he sprays is so shiny, it's really rich! That small bottle costs hundreds of dollars!" "Oh, did you see that? The tail ring on his hand is also quite beautiful..." The chirping and chattering discussions echoed in her ears with laughter, Ke Jiang completely ignored them, and just continued to look for the figure that matched her mind. "Student, which class are you in?" A freckled girl sitting next to the door put down the English dictionary in her hand amidst the noise, raised her glasses, and approached Ke Jiang with her highly myopic eyes to ask. It took Ke Jiang a long time to react, she was stunned for a second and then smiled friendly, showing her beautiful little tiger teeth: "It's okay, find someone." It's really contradictory. I said "nothing" first, and then added the sentence "find someone", so is it looking for someone or nothing?Some girls in the classroom snickered ambiguously. "Oh." The girl responded, as if she was very interested in the boy in front of her, and asked again, "Then, who are you looking for?" Ke Jiang's gaze stayed on a girl next to the window. Orange sunlight enveloped her whole body. She looked like a fairy sister in a TV series. A look of bewilderment. "She! It's her, I'm looking for her!" Ke Jiang hurriedly spit out the milk straw in her mouth, stretched out her slender fingers and pointed excitedly at a certain point in a certain direction. The freckled girl looked in the direction he pointed in surprise Looking around, he glanced at Ke Jiang sadly, as if he was disappointed that he was not looking for him, so he turned his head away, his tone became very bad, and he yelled loudly: "—Zhiwei, someone is looking for you!" The classroom dyed orange-yellow was as bright as gold. Such a beautiful light, no matter how you look at it, it is a bit lonely and desolate. Zhiwei stood up from her seat with a confused expression, walked outside the classroom, saw the boy standing by the window in the corridor, and immediately remembered what happened in the cafeteria at noon. —You don’t have eyes when you walk. Recalling such words, Zhiwei immediately felt a little bit of fear towards him, subconsciously took a small step back, shrank defensively in the direction opposite to him, and made a very small tentative voice: "Excuse me...do you...have anything to do with me?" "That..." Ke Jiang blushed a little, touched her nose with one hand unnaturally, raised her eyes to look at Zhiwei and said, "Don't be afraid, I'm here to tell you that what happened at noon is my No, if I knew you were Ban Xia's friend, I would definitely not be so fierce, hehe, Ban Xia's friend is also my friend." In other words, if Ban Xia wasn't there at the time, he would most likely beat her up. Zhiwei thought about it for a while, and suddenly felt even more terrifying. She hurriedly waved her hand, and said cautiously: "No, no, it's all my fault. I don't have eyes when I walk..." Ke Jiang's face became even redder, she touched the back of her head in embarrassment, grinned and changed the subject with a smirk, "You...your name is Zhiwei, right? I...I'm Ke Jiang, Banxia and I are friends and concurrently Secondary school students." "Hmm...Okay, hello." Zhiwei nodded repeatedly, suddenly remembered something, and asked quickly, "Well, where's Banxia?" "What?" Ke Jiang opened her eyes, "She hasn't come back yet?" "Well, yes." Zhiwei nodded, her brows furrowed unknowingly. "It's strange, where did she go when she didn't go back to the classroom, oh, did I make a mistake... She was still the king of skipping classes in high school... It's really bad." Zhiwei's fingers holding the phone gradually squeezed tighter and tighter again. Her chest was swollen as if a knife had been stabbed, it was difficult to speak, but Zhiwei still mustered up 120% of her courage to speak out. "I'm sorry, maybe you will find it sudden to say this, but do you have three hundred yuan? I need it urgently..." Zhiwei lowered her head and muttered in a low voice with a blushing face. Ke Jiang didn't seem to react for a while, but opened her mouth in shock. "Or, two hundred will do..." She didn't know what kind of mood she was using to bring up the matter of "money" to the person she had just met for the second time. She just felt that the teachings of her mother and father for so many years were wasting bit by bit, so she felt in her heart. Rippled felt the guilt of being torn apart. But-- However, she has no choice. Zhiwei bit her lips tightly, the pain gradually infiltrated into every cell in the subcortical nerves, she struggled like needle pricks, at such a close distance, less than half a meter, she heard his voice The sound of the wallet being opened, the sound of paper notes being pulled out, and the sound of Zhiwei's inner shame as if she was on the verge of collapse, seemed to be a long shot of a century, and he handed three pink hundred-yuan notes to his eyes . "Then, here you are." The orange-yellow light flows slowly from the top of the head like water, forming a soft liquid in the heart, warmly extending to every piece of pure land in the body. Zhiwei took the money with a sigh of relief, held it tightly with her fingers, forced a smile and raised her head, looking at Ke Jiang: "Thank you, thank you very much, I will definitely pay you in three days Return it to you." "Yeah." Ke Jiang grinned, showing a row of neat little white teeth, "Well, don't forget to add interest when you pay it back." Zhiwei was startled, and after she realized it, she nodded her head hastily and earnestly. "Pfft?" Ke Jiang finally couldn't help laughing heartlessly, and then said while waving her hands, "Haha...I'm just kidding, but you actually took it seriously, how funny! Didn't I say that Ban Xia's friends are also my friends." "Well, thank you, I will definitely pay you back..." Zhiwei grinned unnaturally, without saying anything, just lowered her head, held the money and the phone, and ran towards the stairs at the end of the corridor. In fact, he is very curious, in fact, he is also very concerned. Slowly stopping her smile, Ke Jiang looked at Zhiwei's back that was gradually disappearing from her sight, and suddenly frowned. When she came to Class 1 (3), she really wanted to ask her—— Can you tell me your cell phone number? It must have been love at first sight! He suddenly felt like an idiot, really stupid enough! It's not that he has never seen beautiful women, nor has he never been in a relationship, but he would be so stupid as to fall in love with a girl he just met at first sight. Ke Jiang twitched her lips as if mocking herself, then whistled and walked in the opposite direction of the corridor. A boy named Sang Ran met her in the same class.Ke Jiang only remembered that he was a cold weirdo who only regarded Bess as his girlfriend, and there were some rumors about him that were not clean, such as being taken care of by a wealthy woman, his father drinking all day long, his mother being crazy, and his sister being unmarried First pregnancy, etc. In short, his world feels complicated and dangerous, so Ke Jiang directly planned to pass him by. White smoke curled out from Sang Ran's mouth, and the ash between the index finger and middle finger was lightly flicked to the ground. The whole man's uniform was full of strong tobacco smell. The black tie on top, or the fine bangs floating neatly on the forehead. "Aid communication?" Sang Ran squeezed the cigarette butt in her hand, and then gave such a definition to Ke Jiang who walked past her with a blank face. "What do you mean?" Ke Jiang stopped abruptly, frowned, and turned to look at Sang Ran. However, he didn't get any answer, only saw Sang Ran make a comparison with him, rubbing his index finger and thumb against each other a few times - the meaning of banknotes, and then raised his chin in the direction where Zhiwei disappeared just now. "Ah, that... I said, did you misunderstand?" Ke Jiang suddenly had a feeling that she couldn't clear up by jumping into the Yellow River, "Don't think about it, I, I borrowed from her, it is definitely not a kind of assistance... ..." His thinking is too corrupt! Sang Ran still had no expression on her face. She glanced at Ke Jiang, put the cigarette butt in her mouth, turned and walked forward, and then turned her face to the side and said lightly: "I didn't say anything, why are you explaining so much?" 你有没有被问过这样类似的话？ 喜欢的女生是谁？ 喜欢什么样的女生？ 喜欢哪种类型的女生。 漂亮的、大眼睛的、开朗活泼的、温柔可爱的，还是天真单纯的。 各式各样的女生，到了莫樊律的总结中全部被归为了一类，没心没肺地对当时的朋友皱着眉头地蹦出一句： “——胸部大的？” 其实都是信口胡诌出来的，就像是在中考的时候，莫樊律也只不过是抱着好玩的态度在志愿表格上填写了龙飞凤舞的六个大字：娶老婆、生孩子。 那样的结果当然是显而易见的，莫樊律被老师叫到办公室里面教育了足足有半个多钟头才从那被称之为“没有硝烟的战场”中走了出来。 类似的情况经常发生而已，但是因为他的成绩优异，所以老师们也全部都会睁一只眼闭一只眼，就算是他搂着女生的肩膀嬉嬉笑笑地从他们的眼皮子底下大摇大摆地经过也不足为奇。 就是这样的世界—— It's just like-- 就像是莫樊律也不是一生下来就姓“莫”的。在十四岁之前，他无数次地写过自己的名字，在考卷上、在课本上、在橡皮擦上、在给女朋友的回信上，以及用刀子刻在桌椅上，那些全部都是： “樊律”—— 并且在他的记忆里，或者是生命里，他也只是承认自己的姓氏是“樊”，而绝对不会是“莫”。 每次在别人唤他为“莫樊律”的时候，他的心里就像是揉碎了一把玻璃，噼里啪啦的声响，不经意间早就已经成为了血肉模糊的伤疮。 河水一般在他的左心房里面缓慢而又富有节奏地流淌着，蔓延着，溃烂着。 只是即使如此，他却还是要假装若无其事般地逞强下去。 一直逞强到如今的十七岁。 一直逞强到如今的南德高中一年级。 夕阳密密麻麻地布满了教室里面的每一个角落，每一个缝隙。整个教学楼在一天之内的第十七个钟点中被流云染成了一片血红。 空荡荡的教室，敞开的玻璃门上面静静地挂着被夕阳弥漫得炫目的门牌——高一（7）班。 璀璨绚烂的光线中，一切都呈现出模糊的美好。 女生既羞涩又有些胆怯地站在莫樊律的面前，双手微颤地将一封折成心状的粉红色的信递到他的面前。 “莫樊律同学，我……我喜欢你，请你收下。” 光线下，莫樊律是一张看不清楚表情的脸孔。 女生只感到似乎有冰冷的手指滑过自己的心脏深处，背光的嘴角恍若戴着一丝若有若无的轻笑。 信被缓慢地抽走。 女生顿时心花怒放，然而，下一秒耳膜内部便听到“嘶啦——”的声音，长长的，破碎的，连接不断。 粉红色的信在莫樊律修长白皙的指尖下幻化成千万碎片，然后像雪花一般被散落在满地，女生整个人僵硬地愣在了那里。 沙沙—— 沙沙—— “不好意思……”莫樊律在背光处完全没有察觉到女生面部表情的变化，而是若无其事一般地咧着嘴巴笑了一下，“呵呵，那个——我现在有交往的女生了，所以不能接受……”还没有等到他把话全部说完，女生抬起头扬手就给了他一记利落的耳光。 在昏黄橙黄的夕阳光芒中，透明的窗户贴在身后，那声清脆的“啪——”简直响彻了整个空旷阴暗的教室，似乎还在轻微的震动。 挨了突如其来的一巴掌的莫樊律显然感到无比的莫名其妙，他摸了摸左脸颊上火辣辣的疼痛与红印，第一次经受如此突发的状况，某种情绪似乎根本控制不住，反应过来之后便转回头： “你干什么啊？！” “太过分了……”女生低下脸，声音在不经意地颤抖，眼泪便“啪嗒”“啪嗒”地摔碎在地面上，“莫樊律，你实在是太过分了！”大喊一声，然后，女生紧紧地捂住脸飞快地从教室里飞奔了出去。 “哐当——”“哐当——”，过道中的课桌被女生的身体撞得乱响。 “哈？过分？我……我怎么过分了？”莫樊律望着女生已经消失不见的方向，抬手摸了摸自己的左脸，然后疼得龇牙咧嘴，郁闷地撇了撇嘴。 俗话说得好：女人心，海底针。 真他妈的够海底针的！ 莫樊律微微皱起眉毛，忽然狠狠地扯了扯系在脖子上整整齐齐的模范生一般的领带，长长呼出一口气，顿时觉得胸口平和了许多许多，至少可以像正常人一样正常地呼吸。 ——如果可以改变世界。 金色的光。 暖暖的光。 暖金色的光。 像湖水一样。很温暖，很温暖，很温暖。 窗户外面传进来的蝉鸣，细细碎碎地在耳膜底断呼啸着缠绵，树叶沙沙的飘落，风把发梢吹进眼睛里。 回想着她的脸孔，她的头发，她的眼睛。 微微带着冷漠却又寂寞的表情。 心一定是液态的。 因为它会像水一样溢出来。 为什么他总是会想起她的脸呢？ 不过就是一个美女嘛，怪了，他又不是没见过美女。 血红色的光一寸一寸一块一块地掠过头顶。 莫樊律白色衬衫的领口松松垮垮，他懒洋洋地斜靠在七歪八扭的课桌上，像是一只猫似的吸食着夕阳的绚烂，于是偏咖啡色的刘海之下，是一双星芒一样美好的眼。 手中的黑色领带静默地垂在地面上，泛着冰冰凉凉的黑亮。 “——样子可真难看哪，'优''等''生'。”男生站在门口处，夕阳洒在他的轮廓上，倔犟而又精致的面容，清瘦又纤细的身形。 是被突如其来的声音猛然一跳，莫樊律“呼啦”一声从课桌上面直起了身子，并且措手不及地把手中的领带胡乱地重新挂回自己的脖子上，在看到声音主人的脸孔时，忽然就停止了以上一系列的动作，如释重担一般地长吁出一口气： “桑然，搞什么，原来是你啊！别吓人好不好。”莫樊律埋怨一样扔掉手中的领带，重新躺回到课桌上，良久才又蹦出一句，“那，找我有事？” “嗯，刚刚路川紫发来的短消息，说是戚诺乔今天会回来。”桑然坐到莫樊律的身边，玩弄着手中的金边打火机，语气平淡得仿佛是在诉说着和自己毫无关系的事情，“短信上说，等一下，他要我们去酒吧看看。” “是吗！”莫樊律枕着双臂，在听到桑然的话后，慢慢地睁开了眼睛，“我就不去了，我不想回家太晚。” "whatever." “那，桑然，你和她不是早就已经分手了吗？” "Ok." “是她决定去进军演艺界的时候吧？” “不好意思，我记不太清了——” 简单得几乎让人无法再继续问下去的对话，桑然的每一句回答中，好像都是在刻意地隐藏着某种“不要再问了，已经不想再说那些过去了”的暗示。如果再继续追问的话，一定会触及到对方那块原来已经被掩饰得很好，并且不愿被任何人偷窥到了伤口吧。 但愿桑然的那道暗伤，不会在黑暗中撕扯般的叫嚣，它是那种缓慢的反复的刺痛。 莫樊律这么想着，然后慢慢地从课桌上坐了起来，侧脸望了望桑然，桑然也像意识到什么似的转回头瞥了他一眼，首先面无表情地开口： “你刚刚被告白的女生打了一耳光，是吗？” “呃，什么啊，原来全部都被你看到了，真够丢脸的。”莫樊律不冷不热地笑了笑。 “撕人家的情书，挨打是当然的。” “……是这样吗？”可是，如果不撕她的情书，不是叫人家抱有希望吗？那样岂不是更悲惨？他可是很温柔的在为了那个女生着想啊，为什么那些女生总是不明白他的用心良苦呢？莫樊律无奈地叹出了一口气。 就在莫樊律叹息的时候，耳边忽然响起的是桑然低沉的嗓音：“樊律，其实从小时候开始，我和路川紫就都能够看出来，你厌烦你继父，可是你也不用为了虚情假意地讨好他，拼命地装乖孩子吧？” "..." “这么多年来，你那样勉强自己，不会觉得很辛苦吗？” 像是被剥开了某道隐秘的伤疤。 夕阳的血光中，莫樊律白皙精致的脸蓦地在刹那之间黯淡下去，拳头忽然被捏得紧紧地，白骨在手背上若隐若现。 桑然侧眼，他把视线移向那张逐渐阴暗的脸，歉意地轻声吐了口气，淡淡地说： “——抱歉，是我多事了吧。” 夕阳下，莫樊律胸腔中的某个点，似乎在逐渐地一点一点地崩塌。 就是那些多年以来堆积起的情绪，被狠狠地用力拉扯，一直在身体中向头顶上涌，顺着血管掺杂着血液，一起黏稠，一起奔腾，一起毁灭，一起崩溃，就要再也无法控制地哭出来了。 ——我究竟爱不爱这个世界？ 总是会在黑色的夜晚中看到远方闪现出微弱的光点，一闪，一闪，绝望而又充满了希望。 如果回忆可以一次一次地倒转过来。 如果能够自由自在地像风筝般飞往天边。 就算最终的结局是断线。 我也将会心甘情愿。 Without hesitation.