Chapter 159 How many old friends become passers-by

The cold moonlight shines on the unfinished game of chess on the table through the window lattice. Looking at the intertwined black and white chess pieces, I suddenly wake up a lot in my heart, and fall into a deeper confusion.It is said that life is like a chess game, and the world is like a chess game, so the vast rivers and mountains should be like a chess game. If you can understand this chess game, maybe you can understand the world and life.Even the Zen Buddha is like this, if you can't understand it, how can you go to enlightenment? Master Miaochen and Yue Chenghuang have played this game of chess for ten years, could it be that they haven't figured it out yet?Maybe they already have the answer in their hearts, but they just maintain this way, because the answer means victory or defeat, and victory or defeat means the end.If everything is over, is there any reason to live on?

Today, I am walking on the edge of confusion, and I don't even know which way I want to go. Is there any reason for my life to continue?Should I live for Princess Dayan's narrow escape, the hard-won life, or should I live for the supreme glory of Empress Daqi, who is blessed and precious?To live for the dead father and queen, or to live for the Great Qi Emperor, my husband?For Chu Yu?For Chunzhen?Or do nothing but live just to live? I couldn't help laughing at myself, when did I start to sink my eyebrows into living for others?Want to feel for others?In this Cuimei Nunnery, even the Buddha can do nothing to me. When I return to the world of mortals, even the Emperor Daqi can do nothing to me.

The three of them sat cross-legged and were silent for a long time. I didn't get up to ask to leave, neither did Yue Chenghuang.It seems that there is still a sense of unfinished business, and it seems that everything has a result.Such hesitation, I don't know why. Mrs. Miaochen picked up a cup of tea and sipped it carefully. I looked at her elegant posture and quiet and dignified face. Although she was much older than me, she was still a beautiful woman.I thought about her past, she must have had an extraordinary life experience, but I don't know how desperate and heartbroken it was, which made her look down on everything and was willing to spend the fleeting years here.

After all, Yue Chenghuang couldn't help it anymore, and said to me in a low voice: "Meiwan, tell me, what are your plans? If there is anything, I can help you, and I will definitely help." His words were so earnest that I couldn't bear Give another harsh word. I looked at the dazed lantern flower and said calmly: "I don't have any plans yet, I will stay in Cuimei Temple for the time being. Maybe I will return to the palace in a few days and continue to be my empress; maybe I will never go back again, and I will wander around from now on. Mountains and waters; perhaps in this Cuimei Nunnery, I will spend my whole life with the Qingdeng Ancient Buddha.”

Yue Chenghuang looked at me and said slowly: "Have you ever thought about following me back to Yuefu and continuing to make your eyebrows lower?" I raised my eyebrows and looked at him, and smiled coldly: "Follow you back to Yuefu? I'm afraid it's a Yuemei bend, continue to be a prince's daughter? Is it just possible? Is it possible that Yue Wangye is not afraid of the emperor's blame, this crime of deceiving the emperor , can you afford it? At the beginning, you could let me live in the mountains and villages for more than ten years without paying attention, you could let me fall into prostitution and stand by, but now that the truth is revealed, why bother to cause trouble again? Is this your Yue Yue? Is it the style of the prince?" I don't know why, but the words are still so sharp and mean, as if what he said, to me, are all thorns, and these thorns will hurt my whole body and cause endless pain.

Yue Chenghuang was very patient, with the expression on his face still calm, he just sighed: "I knew you were living among the people, it was nothing bad, Dayan's remnant party has always wanted to overthrow Daqi and restore the country. So the court treats Daqi Yan's remnant party is very strict in investigation, and if they find out that you survived, they will kill them all. So I made a bad plan and gave your adoptive father and mother to..." I thought his words were unreasonable, so I looked at him bitterly: "Could it be that Da Qichao wants to kill a little princess in her infancy, instead of you, the prince of Dayan, who is in his prime?" ? Your lord, don’t you think this is over? Besides, my adoptive father and mother are just ordinary people, they don’t know my background, why do you want to drive them all to death?”

"When they rescued you back then, you were wrapped in a red dragon's yellow cloth, and the head of the internal supervisor who was holding you was lying in a pool of blood, which was also seen by your parents. They actually knew your background. Therefore, they cannot live." Yue Chenghuang's words were obviously timid, because he felt that this was to protect me, but in fact, what he did now did not bring me more protection.I thought of my adoptive parents who knew my life experience, but still dared to risk their lives to save me and raise me. They treated me with great kindness, but they died because of me. This pain was like a thousand arrows piercing my heart.

I looked at Yue Chenghuang coldly: "Yue Wangye, don't you know that your reasons are too pale and ridiculous? The links in between are messy and messy. I don't believe a word, and I don't believe it. Don't want to hear any more." Master Miaochen sighed deeply: "It is indeed unclear what is right and wrong in the past. Since it is unclear, why bother to deal with it. Everything is a foregone conclusion. I just said it. Even if there is no such process, the ending will still be the same. All the way. It's not easy enough, so why bother to torture each other?" Master Miaochen was defending Yue Chenghuang during her words, or she was really calm and had seen through everything, so these things were right for her. For her, it was nothing.It was her who really settled the dust, and I was still persistent.

Yue Chenghuang also sighed: "Yeah, it seems that the more you justify, the more you go wrong, even I don't know how this road is made. I only know how to get drunk every day, as if only wine is a bosom friend, and I can drink everything Worrying, it feels best to wake up and get drunk." I looked at the handsome Yue Chenghuang, and suddenly felt that he had gone through a lot of vicissitudes. It turned out that for so many years, he was infatuated with romantic places, but it was just to anesthetize himself and water him down. Drunk life.Maybe only in this way, the emperor of Daqi will ignore his identity even more, just give him money, let him be a prince in name only, even a rich businessman, and even other things are not important.

A kind of sadness slipped through my heart inexplicably. In fact, he has been suffering from the pain of subjugation and bereavement, and the tremendous pressure of betraying the country and seeking glory.Although many people in the world don't know his true identity, his heart is as clear as a mirror, and it is precisely because of his mirror that he wants to intoxicate his life, otherwise he will be like me, having nightmares every night, unable to escape the entanglement of that previous life. I sighed softly: "Forget it, forget it, all of this has nothing to do with you anymore, everything from yesterday is dead. From now on, you will continue your life of debauchery and sex, while I will continue to be my frown, and where I go is no longer related to you. It's over, I'm tired."

"Singing Duanyang Pass three times, how many old people become passers-by. Even so, so what, the flames of war are yesterday, and it is the Buddha's pity to live well today, and it is a blessing from cultivation." Mrs. Miao Chen The words are full of Zen, and I am thinking that everyone has different ways of burying the past.Yue Chenghuang used wine to get drunk, Master Miaochen was too hairless and meditated, but what method would I choose with my eyebrows bent? I murmured: "How many old people become passers-by." Who was this sentence said to?Is it the bizarre fate between me and Yue Chenghuang, or me and Chun Yi?Chu Yu?Or is it Chunzhen?Maybe it's all, maybe it's not, but in the end, it's all over. Looking at Yue Chenghuang again, the resentment in my heart has dissipated a lot. I don't know when I also fell into the vulgar, and I can't see through the most ordinary grievances and grievances in the world. The country should also be thrown away, and men have been doing this since ancient times, not to mention that I am a daughter, it is not my responsibility to restore the great cause, revitalize the government and the public, and it is not what I want.Why should I do such unnecessary struggles for those irretrievable homelands, hurting others and tiring myself? Such a simple truth, I am also so unable to understand it, it is in vain to be called a woman with wisdom roots by Master Miaochen. "How many old people have become passers-by." Yue Chenghuang also said in a low voice, with a kind of relief in his expression.He got up slowly, bowed and saluted: "It's late at night, I will take my farewell first, and please both of you rest early." Master Miaochen returned the gift: "The benefactor is gone, and the poor nun is not far away." And I just looked at him indifferently, unable to say a word. He looked at me and said, "Meiwan, although many old friends have become passers-by, I still hope that if you need me in the future, please tell me, I can do it, and I will do it at all." Although, Yue Chenghuang The words come from the heart, but they can't move me in the slightest.It's just that I don't want to distort the sincerity of others, so I just nodded lightly: "It's hard for you, I will." He gave me a knowing smile, which means that he thinks that I have dispelled the hatred, at least, he can accept his sincerity.Living is no longer easy, so why should we be so mean when we get along with each other. Yue Chenghuang opened the door, and through the window, he saw his slender back disappearing into the boundless moonlight.The gatekeeper will open the back door for him, and he will drive away in a carriage. I can almost imagine him walking on the mountain path.It's just that nothing as bizarre as Chu Yu's will happen to him.He is just an ordinary person who never met a female ghost or a white fox. Chu Yu, I looked at Yue Chenghuang's disappearing back, looked at the cold moon, and thought of Chu Yu.Where is he now? I know he won't appear in Cuimei Temple like before, so I won't make unnecessary waits. Mrs. Miaochen seemed to know that I was entangled with many feelings in my heart. She looked at me peacefully and said calmly: "Everything will pass, or that sentence, it will become a cloud of smoke." I nodded: "Yanyun, yes, they will all become smoke clouds. Master realized it too early, but I am still here wandering and confused. It really shouldn't be." Master Miaochen lightly brushed the hair on my forehead, and said with pity: "It's hard for you, I understand, I understand." It's just this simple action, this simple sentence, but it touched me deeply. heart.All the grievances disappeared in an instant, because she understood, such a woman who is detached from the world understands, I feel comforted.In the dark, I always feel that I have some kind of unexplainable fate with her, and I can't explain it clearly. Maybe Master Miaochen knows the reason too well, but I won't ask, everything develops naturally.There are no more secrets in the world, because everything is as natural as flowing water in my eyes. When I walked out of her meditation room, I felt that the moonlight tonight was extraordinarily cold, as if it was going to soak into the marrow of my bones. In the corridor, that long shadow, is it me?