Chapter 158 The long rivers and mountains are like clouds of smoke

For several days in Cuimei Nunnery, I walked in the backyard during the day and night, enjoying the clear autumn scenery of the nunnery.A few late osmanthus plants in the backyard still exude a refreshing fragrance. I folded the osmanthus to admire the moon, and felt pure and at ease.Temples and palaces are indeed different, and the same tree will have different spirituality and feelings. Every morning and evening class, I go to the main hall to chant scriptures and listen to Zen. The Buddha always looks at me gently. In his heart, he must think that I have accepted everything here peacefully, and even think that I will stay forever.It is said that the Buddha knows everything in the world and can penetrate the heart, but he may not be able to penetrate my heart.Everything pays attention to predestined relationship, because he thinks that he is connected with the Buddha, so he can't understand me better.

The moonlight was dim, and the frost and dew were heavy. I sat by the window sill, and a scented oil lamp swayed in the breeze, illuminating the quiet years.I like this kind of tranquility from the bottom of my heart, but I am really not sure that I can forget everything and just stay here with one heart. I was sitting there when I heard a knock on the door, Hong Jian walked over to open the door, and saw the little nun next to Master Miaochen salute me: "Benefactor, Master ordered the little nun to come over and ask the benefactor to go to her meditation room." I wanted to ask her what was the matter, but I gave up, thinking that Master Miaochen must have something to do if she asked me to go.So he replied: "Okay, I will trouble my little master to tell the teacher, I will be there in a while."

When he arrived at Master Miaochen's Zen room, he saw Master and Yue Chenghuang playing chess under the lamp. This night, the gate of the nunnery was closed, why did Yue Chenghuang still come here. When Yue Chenghuang saw me coming in, he hurriedly saluted and said: "I will see the empress, the empress is blessed and safe." I looked at him, thousands of thoughts came to my mind, but I still suppressed it, and said lightly: "Master Yue, please forgive me." I still didn't call out that father, remembering all the right and wrong, Chu Yu told me, He is the prince of the former dynasty, and let Dayan fall into the hands of Daqi. Although this is a certainty, even without him, Daqi will destroy Dayan, but I really can't call him that anymore.

He looked at me, with that look, I knew he understood a lot, maybe Master Miaochen told him everything, maybe he already knew everything.This character has always been so mysterious and difficult in my eyes, and now, I can't look at him simply. Sitting cross-legged, I smiled at the teacher: "Master, I won't disturb your chess game." The teacher clasped his hands together, and replied with a smile: "No, this chess has been played for ten years, so how can you care about this little time?" Ten years, how long, I thought of the teacher and Yue Chenghuang again. There must be an unusual friendship.

The three of them sat drinking tea, and there was silence outside the window. Because of the cool autumn, there was not even the sound of insects.Only the faint moonlight sprinkled into the meditation room through the window, adding a little more charm. I thought that my teacher called me here, it must be related to Yue Chenghuang's affairs, and there must be a reason for Yue Chenghuang's late night visit, just wait for him to speak first. Yue Chenghuang took a sip of tea, turned his eyebrows to look at me, and said slowly: "Madam, you must already know about the relationship between you and me, but I really don't know what to say to you."

I replied lightly: "Master Yue, you are welcome, just call me by my nickname here, we will also use you and me, so it will be easier to talk in detail." After I finished speaking, I looked at the handsome man in front of me, thinking He is my real uncle, the entire Great Yan Dynasty has been destroyed, and only he is my closest relative, the anger in my heart suddenly decreased a lot, and there was actually a little more warmth.But thinking of him helping Daqi to destroy Dayan, and sending people to kill my adoptive father and mother, no matter what the reason is, I can't forgive him.

"Okay." He answered frankly. Master Miaochen looked at me and Yue Chenghuang, and said: "To this day, you can explain the cause and effect clearly, so that everyone can understand more. Right and wrong, it's all gone." "Yunyan, so much of the past, is it all Yunyan?" I spoke indifferently. The teacher nodded slightly: "Of course it's all clouds and smoke. If you see the glory and prosperity of today, it will become clouds and smoke in the future." I sneered and said: "Master is a monk, she can comprehend everything and regard everything as clouds and smoke, but I am just an ordinary woman. When I know everything, I can't be as calm as before."

The teacher looked at me with admiring eyes: "But you have done a good job. It is absolutely impossible for ordinary women, including me back then, and it took a lot of time to heal the wound." Back then, it was her past. Could it be that an unknown tragic past also happened to her.Think about it, too, otherwise, which young woman would cut off the world of mortals, go to a nunnery and become a sister-in-law, a green lantern and an ancient Buddha, and live a lonely life. Yue Chenghuang who was sitting on the side sighed: "I did something wrong back then, and I should have been punished, but things have changed, and the wound in my heart has slowly healed up, and I no longer care too much about myself."

I looked at him coldly: "The wound in the prince's heart has healed, but it has left a deep scar on the heart of others." The teacher clasped his hands together and said: "Amitabha, the benefactor Yue also wanted to save the people of the Li people, but he was young and vigorous, and he didn't know the dangers of people's hearts and the ups and downs of the world, so he made that mistake. The poor nun also misunderstood the benefactor back then. Now Looking back, I still feel that it was Yunyan, and it’s not enough." What the teacher said made me doubt the relationship between her and Yue Chenghuang even more.

Yue Chenghuang shook his head: "Wrong is wrong. The sinner of the ages is none other than me. The Great Yan Jiangshan is gone, but I am in Daqi receiving a generous salary from the executives and enjoying the glory and wealth." The teacher answered: "This is fate, what cannot be escaped is disaster, and what is escaped is blessing. This is the blessing of the benefactor, and for Meiwan, it is also your blessing." I smiled lowly and said, "Is it also a blessing for me?" Master Miaochen nodded: "Yes, I escaped death and survived well. Although I lost a lot, I have gained everything now. I am supreme in Daqi's harem, and I can't enjoy the glory and wealth. No matter It's Dayan and Daqi, people are alive, they just live purely, putting aside the hatred of the country and family, isn't it a blessing?"

A sneer appeared on the corner of my mouth: "Leave aside the hatred of the country and the family, Master, forgive me for saying disrespectful words. This matter has nothing to do with you. You can't understand the sadness of the country's ruin and family death. Although you were young at that time, everything I don’t know. But now that I know it, there is still pain in my bones. This nightmare has haunted me for several years, can I just put it aside and forget it?” "Time, time will heal everything, no matter what kind of painful pain it is, it will fade away." Master Miaochen's face was calm, with a kind of relief from being indifferent to the world, which made me almost speechless. Yue Chenghuang looked at me and asked, "What are your plans?" I smiled coldly: "What is my plan? Do you want me to be like you, knowing that my homeland is broken, and still enjoying the glory and wealth in other people's land, regardless of my ancestors. Or do you want me to shave my hair and become a nun, young?" Where is Deng Gufo?" My words were harsh, and I felt a little regretful after I said them, because such unrefined words really shouldn't have come out of my frowning mouth. Yue Chenghuang smiled lightly: "You speak well, and you ask well, but I am not worthy to ask this question, and I am not worthy to answer this question." I smiled slightly: "There is no such thing as worthy or unworthy. Even the teacher told me it was a misunderstanding, so why should I cling to the past and hold on tightly. Definite number, fixed number, I have to believe in the word "definite number." Yue Chenghuang raised his eyebrows and sighed: "Back then, Dayan was already corrupt. Your father was a cowardly person who focused on drinking and enjoying himself. He was not suitable to be an emperor. In addition, the ancestor's country was already decayed. Your father already has wreckage in his hands, how can you let a country that looks like a wreck support a bright sky? The court is chaotic, the king outside the pass is about to move, and the people complain, can you not be turned against?" "But I heard that if the prince hadn't taken over the current King Wuping, he wouldn't be able to take Ziyan City so quickly and become emperor." I said coldly. Yue Chenghuang nodded and admitted: "Yes, it was Xiao Wang who took over King Wuping back then. At that time, the kings of various places led the uprising, and the people were in dire straits, but King Wuping's army was the most sensitive. He was virtuous, benevolent, domineering, and the most I have the qualifications to become a generation of Mingjun. At that time, I thought, even if I did not respond, the city would fall into the hands of others sooner or later. I negotiated with King Wuping. After the army entered Ziyan City, they should not kill innocent people, but only need to imprison the emperor and queen Get up, give them a comfortable little palace, and spend the rest of their lives. Because I know that any traitor who takes over the country will be wiped out, and Ziyan City will be destroyed. I just want to gamble." I laughed and said, "In the end, you only gambled on your own chance of survival and your own glory today, but the rest of the people were still wiped out. Am I right? Your lord." Yue Chenghuang smiled helplessly: "That's right, that's right. When the army broke through the city, your father and mother both drank poisonous wine and died. I survived by luck. At that time, I saw the army entering the city, overwhelming, and I had no time to take care of too many people. Those who surrendered stayed, and many people who fought hard to protect the Lord died tragically." I almost recalled that time The tragic scene was just like in my dream, like the setting sun of blood, the flames of war rose everywhere, blood flowed like rivers, and Ziyan City was in chaos at that time.But my father, the emperor, and my mother, who were hated by the subjugation of the country, both drank poisonous wine and died, which is the same as the death of my adoptive parents.I even imagined that when my father, queen and queen ordered the chief prisoner to take me away, I must be their favorite daughter, otherwise why was it me who stayed alive, but my other brothers and sisters? "Amitabha..." It was Master Miaochen's voice that woke me up from the painful nightmare. "Mistakes are made like this. For so many years, I have been thinking, what would it be like if it wasn't for me?" Yue Chenghuang sighed in shame. "It's the same as this scene, how can there be two similarities?" Master Miaochen said, it seemed to tell me, and it made me wake up a lot.The fault does not lie with Yue Chenghuang, without him, the ending would be the same, the Great Yan was destroyed, the country was destroyed and the people perished. This has been the case since ancient times, and there is no second result.And King Wuping could keep his promise to keep him, give him a foothold in the land of Daqi, and give him wealth, which is already rare.Even though King Wuping didn't want the world to scold him for treachery, after all, no one wants to do something that loses people's hearts.When he first came to the throne, people's hearts are the most important. I seem to have a lot of things I want to ask, but at this moment, I seem to understand everything.What the teacher said is right, right and wrong, it is nothing but smoke.But I fought for Yunyan in the harem and made new mistakes.So many people died because of me, is it really because of my cruelty, or did they take the blame for themselves and calculate me first, so that there will be karma? Karma, they accepted the retribution, and when will my retribution be?Although they were not directly killed by me, they died because of me.And Chun Yi, who was blind for me, Chu Yu said that he owed me, but in fact, who really owes whom?The success or failure of mountains and rivers, the situation of history, has nothing to do with the relationship. Looking at Yue Chenghuang, I finally lowered my eyebrows and sighed. Only the cold moon outside the window is still shining brightly and gently, incomprehensibly.