Chapter 121 The colorful world is hazy

I was dreaming again, and I saw my Yan'er in the dream. He was so petite and thin, but he could smile and wave to me.I know, this time is farewell, and he will not disturb me in the future.He is so kind, so kind that even his mother can't bear to disturb him.I don't want him to bear the weight of life, I just want him to leave well. From now on, I don't have him in my dreams, but I keep him deep in my heart. Waking up to another day, other than feeling blurred, I seemed to be getting better and my headaches had subsided. Qiuxi fed me the decoction and drank it little by little, and the frequency of vomiting also decreased.

When she knelt in front of my couch and pleaded guilty, I was indeed surprised for a moment. "Your Majesty, punish the servant girl. The emperor should have punished the servant girl this time. He spared me because the servant girl wanted to take care of you." Qiu Xi knelt down in front of my couch with a face of remorse. "Qiuxi, what's wrong with you?" I looked at her in surprise, not knowing why. "Your Majesty, if I hadn't been careless, nothing would have happened to you this time, and neither would the little prince..." Her words choked up, her eyes were red, as if tears were about to fall.

"How can I blame you, I don't know, how can I blame you?" She touched the wound I didn't want to touch, but I didn't have much pain, calmed down, and everything was tolerable. "I'm supposed to take care of these things. I'm the aunt in charge of Yueyang Palace, but I didn't do my job well, I couldn't..." She said hurriedly, her words were full of regret, and I understood her What's on my mind at this moment is just me, who is weak, how can I comfort her a lot. I shook my head lightly: "Forget about the past. It really has nothing to do with you. All of this has long been doomed. Even if there is no such thing as falling on the swing, something else will happen." My son is destined not to come to this filthy world, so no matter what, he will choose to leave me. Only by leaving me can he return freely.

Qiu Xi's face was full of pain, sinking into deep self-blame: "This servant should have apologized a long time ago, but I was always afraid that my mother would not be able to bear it, so I didn't dare to mention it, but now that I know this, it would be too heartless for this servant not to plead guilty. " I smiled weakly: "You think too much, what does this have to do with Liangxin, I sincerely do it for my own good, so don't mention it again. You know very well, I will not blame you, I will not punish you. You will spend the rest of your time Give me, take good care of me, stay with me."

"My maidservant is guilty, and my maidservant will take good care of your empress in the future." Qiu Xi said gratefully.In fact, she is my caring person, she knows that I will not punish her, and I can't bear to punish her. Her apology is because she can't get over the hurdle in her heart.She would rather accept my punishment than accept my kindness to her.However, I want to be a selfish person and live well for myself. "That's right, only by protecting yourself can you protect me." I spoke earnestly, thinking of the harem struggle, I couldn't help being startled, any kind of burnout seemed to be cruel to myself.Qiuxi can only protect me if she protects herself well, and I can protect the entire Yueyang Palace only if I protect myself well.Who says people won't change, I faintly feel that even my bones are cold, I'm thinking, when I'm frozen, it's time for them to pay the price.

"Your servant will always remember your mother's instruction." Qiu Xi nodded in response to me. "Get up quickly, there are still many things you need to do, take good care of me." I smiled lightly, reached out and held her hand. Qiu Xi stood up slowly, nodded and said: "This servant will take care of the empress with all her heart and take good care of the Yueyang Palace." "By the way, is Xiao Xingzi back?" I raised my eyebrows and asked, remembering what Chunyi promised me yesterday, I let Xiao Xingzi go. "I came back last night, but the empress was resting, so he didn't dare to come in and disturb her. I'll let him in right away, okay?" Qiu Xi replied.

I shook my hand: "No, let him rest, he will be fine when he comes back." I got out of bed slowly, Qiuxi and Hongjian hurriedly supported me, and sat in front of the Linghua mirror, I looked at my pale face, as silent as if I had died.I tried my best to squeeze out a smile to myself, there was no pain, but a little indifference. Washed up, put on a little powder, and a little snowy makeup, I am still so beautiful, but I have lost a lot of weight.Facing me in the mirror, I secretly said in my heart: "Shen Meiwan, don't repeat the road you walked yesterday, the world is nothing but dust, don't work hard for anyone, and be let down by anyone." After finishing speaking, I He gave himself a cold smile.

Standing in front of the window, with a faint breeze blowing, I can smell the smell of late spring, neither coolness nor superfluous heat.The scenery outside the window is vague, there is sunlight, but it seems to be covered with a layer of smoke. "It's foggy, why is there still such a big fog at this hour." I whispered. Hong Jian looked out of the window and said puzzledly: "There is no fog, it is very clear, clear blue sky, beautiful scenery." I rubbed my eyes, and looked again, it was still smoky, and all the scenery was lingering in the fog. "Your Majesty, does it still feel foggy?" Qiu Xi looked into my eyes and asked slowly.

I nodded slightly: "Yes, and it's not a faint smoke, anyway, I can't see clearly." I tried my best to open my eyes wider, and blinked a few times, but it was still the same. "Maybe it's because I've been asleep for too long, and suddenly seeing the sun, I can't resist it, and I'll get used to it." Hong Jian said softly. I nodded slightly: "Maybe, it's okay, I'll just stand there for a while, and I feel pretty good." "Why don't I ask Xiao Xingzi to invite the imperial physician to come over and check the cause, so I can rest assured." Qiu Xi said alertly, because of the falling on the swing, she was even more careful.

In order to prevent them from worrying, and I really feel that my eyes are always covered with a film, I also want to know the reason, so I gently replied: "Okay, please congratulate the imperial doctor, he is the one who diagnoses and treats these days, he knows very well My condition." I thought of He Muhan saying that my brain probably has blood clots, maybe... I don't want to think about it, I hope my speculation is superfluous. Lying quietly on the pear wood chair, shaking gently, closing eyes, feeling the world without light, in darkness, can only feel a faint light flashing in front of my eyes, without any color, everything is sleeping.I felt a pain in my heart, and I covered my heart with my hand, the dripping pain was enough to pierce through my heart.

For a while, I thought of many things related to fate, which have always been so hazy, so hazy that I can't tell clearly, and the way is unclear.I faintly feel that falling into a thousand autumns is not the end of suffering, but the beginning of suffering.The corner of my mouth couldn't help but let out a sneer, no matter how much suffering gathers, I will not shed proud tears with my frown. I didn't shed tears for Yan'er, and I will never cry again in the future. I'm waiting for He Muhan, it's the first time I'm waiting for the imperial physician, what I dislike the most is to be diagnosed and treated by the imperial physician, I hate smelling the bitter smell of medicine, and I don't like living sickly. When He Muhan stood in front of my eyes, I was still lost in my thoughts. "I see your mother." He Muhan is always so modest and polite. He has a scholarly temperament, elegant and elegant, not like an imperial doctor. Perhaps it is because of Xie Ronghua that I also have a different kind of affection for him. I got up slightly: "Doctor He is here." Hong Jian had already made tea, I got up and walked to the table, He Muhan sat down with me. "Doctor He, please drink some tea." I said politely. He nodded slightly: "Thank you, ma'am, I'd better treat you first." "Okay." I said calmly, and gently stretched out my wrist, letting him feel my pulse. Through the thin veil, I can feel the strength of his fingers. He only needs to use a few nimble fingers to measure the good and bad in my body. The subtlety of the technique of black and yellow is really amazing.At this time, instead of being nervous, I was more peaceful, indifferently peaceful, and I had the courage to accept everything. After examining my pulse, he looked at my head and asked softly, "What discomfort do you still have, Madam?" "Headache, dizziness, mainly because the eyes are blurred, and I can't see clearly." I looked at He Muhan, his face was also somewhat blurred in front of my eyes, and it was always not as clear as before. He nodded lightly: "I beg your pardon, can I ask your mother to show me your eyes?" I smiled: "Of course." He approached me, resting his hand on my chin and resting his hand on my head, his eyes met mine. After a while, he said: "I can't see anything unusual in my eyes. I think it's probably in my brain." It is caused by congestion, it will take time to diagnose, and it cannot be diagnosed yet. But according to Chen’s opinion, that’s it.” "Tell me, if the blood stasis accumulates there, what will happen if you don't have the Sanhua?" I asked calmly, because I wanted to know the consequences. Knowing in advance is better than being unpredictable. "The congestion will slowly dissipate, and there will be no more life-threatening, because the empress has woken up safely, but..." He Muhan hesitated to speak, from his expression, I felt that there would be bad consequences. I smiled gently: "It's okay, Doctor He, I'm very calm, I can accept everything, since there is no danger to my life, what else can scare me?" My heart is indeed calm, but behind the calm is still hidden With slight waves. Maybe He Muhan knew my temperament, so he nodded slightly, and said slowly: "Go back to your mother, I have encountered similar patients before. I fell from the back of a horse, or fell heavily from a high place, and my brain was concussed. There is congestion. Inside, it oppressed the optic nerve, and later caused..." After all, he still didn't finish his sentence, he didn't dare, and couldn't bear it. "Optic nerve." I read in a low voice. In fact, after hearing these few words, I already understood everything, and my guess and feeling were not wrong. "Yes, the human brain controls all the nerves, and the optic nerve is the most sensitive. The heavy fall may cause shock." He Muhan explained to me quietly. I smiled lightly: "Doctor He means that I will become blind?" "No, not necessarily. I'm just guessing that the blood stasis inside is oppressing part of the optic nerve, which is what caused the empress's symptoms at this time, which is blurry. But I don't think it's serious. If it's serious, you might go blind immediately after waking up." So, the situation is still very optimistic. Your Majesty insists on taking the prescription prescribed by the minister, and slowly dissipates the blood congestion, and maybe it will get better." Doctor He tried his best to comfort me, I don't know how much I can believe what he said points, but I think it sounds reasonable. "It sounds like I understand a little bit, but I don't know the probability of blindness." I asked softly, with a calm tone, but I really wanted to know in my heart. "I'm not sure yet, I need to observe." He Muhan refused to answer me, I understand his intentions, I can understand. "Okay, then wait and see." I replied lightly. "Your Majesty, don't worry too much. Maybe it's just that your eyes are blurred for a while and it will be fine. Even if you plan for the worst, if you lose your sight, it may be phased. There is another kind, which is the most pessimistic one, oppressing the optic nerve and causing lifelong blindness." Maybe He Muhan saw my calm expression, that's why he had the courage to tell me all these possible outcomes, so that I could have a bottom line.I really didn't feel much after hearing it. Before that, I had already prepared for the worst.If I am destined to spend my future days in darkness, I can accept it bravely without hesitation or hesitation. I nodded slowly: "Thank you, Imperial Physician He, that's good, I know everything, and I can face it calmly if anything happens in the future." "Your Majesty, don't be too pessimistic, take the medicine with peace of mind, keep an optimistic attitude, and you will definitely get better." He Muhan comforted. "There is Imperial Physician Lao He, please have some tea." I handed him the tea. He hurriedly got up, and said modestly: "Thank you, Madam, I'd better go back to the imperial hospital first, and prescribe the medicine for Madam, and today I need to change the prescription, I will prescribe the prescription earlier, and take the medicine earlier, I hope Madam will see improvement after taking the medicine. " I knew it was inconvenient to stay together again, so I nodded and said: "Okay, there is Imperial Physician Lao He." Called Xiao Xingzi who was on the side: "Xiao Xingzi, take Imperial Physician He for me, and follow him to get the medicine back." Looking at their backs, I walked to the window and fell into the hazy world. I raised my eyebrows and looked at the blue sky, which had lost its former clarity and lingering with faint smoke.I want to go to the backyard, I want to enjoy the beautiful scenery, and I am afraid I will never have that opportunity again. do you know?Maybe starting tomorrow, I'll be blind.