Chapter 19 Swan Yutoha

When Qu Feng woke up, he only felt a splitting headache.He sat up, his eyes burst into bright red, and he froze suddenly.What happened last night came to my mind vaguely, and the sound of rushing water in the bathroom proved that it was not a dream. He stood up, brewed instant royal coffee with cold water to refresh his mind, and was stirring ice cubes when the bathroom door opened, Xiao Lin came out wrapped in a big towel, and greeted with a blushing face: "Morning." Qu Feng's hand trembled, the ice cube fell from the cup and smashed to pieces on the ground, when he leaned over hastily, the ice water had already melted into a small puddle and couldn't be cleaned up.

Can't afford it. Qu Feng stared blankly at Xiao Lin, Xiao Lin blushed, squatted down silently, took a tissue to wipe the ground. ——If a girl's first redness can be wiped away with a paper towel like ice water, maybe a man's heart will not be so heavy. Once the girl returns home, her attitude changes immediately.Xiao Lin didn't evade, just turned his back slightly, changed his dress in front of Qu Feng, and didn't forget to say: "Help me zip up." Qu Feng stood up and did so in a daze, as if he didn't know what happened, or he didn't want to know, believe, or admit it.

This wasn't the first time he took a girl home for the night, but it was the first time he was in such a panic, and it was also the first time he acted after drinking.Moreover, the other party is a virgin and loves him deeply, he can no longer take it lightly... Kobayashi is a virgin, and Qu Feng is his first man. Speaking of it, it's not because she has a high heart, or is particularly measured, and keeps herself clean. But never had the chance. When she was in middle school, she was a very inconspicuous ugly duckling. She was nicknamed "Flowers Like Jade"—the flowers are cactus, and the jade is Xiuyan emerald—with many acnes and a dark complexion.

It is makeup to learn especially for this carefully. Later, I don't know if the cosmetics worked, or because the hormones are naturally harmonious as I get older, my face becomes fairer day by day, and the bags gradually disappear.But the best days of cardamom are behind us.If you fall in love again, you will directly aim at the goal of marriage. You have to look carefully, you can't be as presumptuous and self-willed as the little girls, and you have to be a little fussy about falling in love just for love. In this way, she picked and picked and procrastinated day by day, fulfilling a rare 23-year-old Shanghai virgin.

However, no matter what, when the peach tree came into Qu Feng's eyes, he was moved and shocked. It was only at this moment that he clearly understood how infatuated Xiao Lin treated him. She is his woman now. He couldn't help showing some sincerity. She whispered in his ear: "I am willing..." - but only if this is the case, it should be treated with tenderness. If a man dares to act bravely, how can he excuse his drunkenness to shirk his responsibility? Thinking about it carefully, Xiao Lin is actually pretty good, shrewd and practical, and devoted to him, it should not be difficult for the two of them to get along—although, all the advantages and virtues may be nothing but Xiao Lin before marriage.After marriage, they will ask them to wash underwear, buy toilet paper, and do all trivial chores.This is the nature of Shanghai women. Marriage is for themselves, not for others.

Qu Feng is very clear. He didn't want to bow his head and be willing to be a wife's cow, but he didn't want to enter into marriage. But cohabitation is another matter. He finally agrees to buy her a wardrobe. ——For women, this is the greatest acceptance. Xiao Lin stood in front of the mirror and changed his clothes one by one, posing in various poses for his evaluation. He was obsequious and absent-minded, just nodded and agreed everything, and didn't look carefully after all.Dimly thinking in my heart, after getting married, this will probably be like this in the future.

In fact, there is nothing wrong with getting married, right?As a marriage partner, Kobayashi is finally a good choice. She is the kind of ordinary girl, the most ordinary and kind girl in the real world. She also listens to music—pop songs or ghosts and ghosts; she also learns to dance—of course only ballroom dancing; she also reads some literary novels without understanding , shed tears with the heroine for a while, stayed for a while, and imagined that I was the protagonist of the tragedy—but only in my imagination, in reality, I was working hard towards comedy. Marrying such a girl as a wife, they are the most common wives in Shanghai, the kind you can see everywhere in the vegetable market and at the mahjong table, who care about every detail, are very smart, and count every detail of life. One eye is fixed on the husband, one eye is on the child, but the other eye is on the life of the neighbors and the life of the companions. I don’t know where I borrowed so many eyes.Dreams and sympathy are still there. Look for them in long-form TV dramas. When you sit in front of the TV, the time is reserved for yourself. You can freely sigh and shed tears for the passionate and difficult third parties, and then look for all the sympathy in life. The woman who may be the third party is angry, fights wits and strength, and prevents problems before they happen, and scolds the quasi-vixen in front of her husband every day.

Such days are trivial and stuffy, but such days have their truthfulness and kindness.Everyone lives like this, so it is correct to live like this, with a sense of security and a sense of belonging. He has been wandering for too long, and what he needs may be such a destination. Just as he was thinking wildly, he suddenly heard Xiao Lin say casually: "A few days ago we cleaned up the wardrobe in the theater, and there was a cabinet that belonged to Ruan Danbing. ? Oddly enough, a box of cigarette butts." "Cigarette butts?" "That's right." Xiao Lin turned left and right in front of the mirror, "It's all drawn, camel card, Ruan Danbing is such a noble person, to have such eccentricities..."

Qu Feng only felt that someone punched his chest heavily, a mouthful of blood gushed out, and almost spit out.Camel brand, cigarette butts, he suddenly understood why he saw Ruan Danbing bent over to pick up cigarette butts that day.At that time, I only knew that she was a clean freak, but it turned out, it turned out—A Tong said, Dan Bing has a letter for you, it's in the third drawer of her dressing table—he stood up abruptly. Kobayashi yelled, "Where are you going?" "Go and see Dan Bing." Qu Feng turned around, his face was pale, and his eyes were blood red: "I'll go to her and ask her!"

"Are you asking her clearly?" Daqi Xiaolin, how to ask?what?But Qufeng has gone too far... When Qu Feng came to Dan Bing's house, he saw a strange middle-aged man sitting in the living room. He concluded that it was the first time he had seen him, but the eyebrows were somewhat familiar. Grandma has already hurriedly introduced them to each other: "This is the Xiaoqu I told you about." Then she turned to Qufeng: "Xiaoqu, this is my son, Dan Bing's father." The reunion, but grandma's face is not happy, on the contrary, there is a bit of frustration.

"Uncle!" It turned out to be Ruan Danbing's father, no wonder the faces were vaguely acquainted.Qu Feng nodded in a dazed manner, still unable to break free from his association with cigarette butts. "You are Qu Feng?" Mr. Ruan looked at him intently, "No wonder..." He stopped in the middle of the sentence. Qu Feng was even more at a loss, not understanding why Mr. Ruan looked at him so strangely.He remembered the original intention here, and said to his grandma, "I'll go up and see Dan Bing." When I went upstairs, I found that the house had been cleaned up, things were piled up in a mess, and many packages were stuffed in the ground, which looked like a catastrophe.He ignored everything, walked past the packages, and opened the third drawer of the dressing table, but it was empty. empty?He was stunned, could it be that Ah Tong lied to himself? The sound alarmed Mr. Ruan, and he followed up the stairs. Seeing Qu Feng's appearance, he immediately understood: "Are you looking for those letters?" Qu Feng was stunned. Mr. Ruan said: "I put them away." He sighed, "In a few days, I plan to take Dan Bing to the United States to seek medical treatment, and I will try again anyway... Yesterday I helped her pack her things and put her under the bed. Seeing this, I thought, she's writing for you." Qu Feng was stunned again.The United States, seeking medical treatment, Mr. Ruan... But then, he became excited, so there is hope for Dan Bing?He looked eagerly at Mr. Ruan: "Is there any new technology to treat vegetative people in the United States?" "It's hard to say..." The father's sorrow was written heavily on his face, he shook his head, took out a thick satin notebook and handed it over. Qu Feng took it with his head down, flipped through it, and his expression changed drastically. The flower language of masts is "happiness".I love, where there is you, there is happiness. Gardenia!That pot of gardenias that was reduced to ashes in the fire!He finally concluded that his gardenia was a gift from Dan Bing.Gardenia's flower language is happiness, she gave him happiness and life, but he brought her death and disaster!how come? He wobbled, unable to stand still. Mr. Ruan sighed and said understandingly: "Xiao Qu, these letters can't be read in a short while, you, go back and read slowly..." go back?No!Can't go back!Kobayashi waited for him at home.Just today, I just accepted Xiao Lin, but suddenly discovered Dan Bing's affection, what kind of account is this? By the lotus pond, Qu Feng finally read the book "A Swan Sending Feathers", read all the unsent letters that Ruan Danbing wrote to him "during his lifetime", and finally knew Danbing's infatuation, and the one that shocked him beyond words. , The fact that is enough to burst the whole heart: Dan Bing loves him! Dan Bing loves him!I love it so much! Sitting on the stone chair, he read those letters page by page, the love letters written in lines of blood and tears, the love myths woven with life.Are such deep, strong, pure and sublime feelings real? He saw Dan Bing's declaration of love, and also saw Dan Bing's ideal of love—— If you love me, please be nice to me little by little, just like the little prince is to his fox, getting closer little by little, with a gentle look in his eyes, and gradually taming me. Again! He frowned, it was the first time that he associated Shui'er, Ah Tong, and Dan Bing together, and it was also the first time that he carefully thought about the issue of love. Love needs to be domesticated little by little, gentle little by little, and then slowly respond to each other, pouring out slowly like an hourglass, dedicating all the love, leaving nothing behind.Is there really such a love? He suddenly remembered the day when the girls from the theater troupe made a bet for the heroine of "Death of the Swan"— "Where can anyone really achieve six hits in the air? Is there really such a technique?" "What if? What if I did it? I can do it." I can't remember whether Ruan Danbing said these words at that time.But he thought she had said it.Even if you didn't say it with your mouth, you must have said it in your heart. He thought of that proud wild little girl with flowing hair, high forehead, burning eyes, and lips like rose petals.That beautiful little girl!Does she really know what love is? He thought of those umbrellas again, the same green satin umbrellas, gardenias, and the whole box of cigarette butts in Dan's refrigerator. Yes, she knew what love was, little by little, day by day, from every detail , caring, paying attention, taking care of, cherishing, quietly loving and dedicating.It was he who failed her and never had the chance to reciprocate.But, really, there will never be a chance? He closed his eyes, no, he didn't believe it, he didn't believe that the pure and kind girl would really sleep forever.Her swan heart will always get tired when it flies, and it will return to its nest one day, right?When she woke up, he wished he could be by her side, offer the first smile of spring, and say to her: Welcome back, my swan! my swan. He suddenly remembered that the swan he had let fly by himself had come. On the day Dan Bing passed out on the stage, the audience said in unison that they saw a swan fly away.However, the people in the regiment never believed it and regarded it as nonsense.Because they were all on stage at the time, why didn't they see it, but the audience saw it? However, thinking of that scene now, he suddenly became shaken: Could it be that Dan Bing really turned into a swan, and the one he saved was Dan Bing's incarnation? It turns out that not every girl who died early in love will turn into Wei Lisi, and some, like Dan Bing, will turn into swans. He didn't know that their stories had already been written in dance dramas. In those dramas, all the plots had already happened one by one, but they revived their bodies and reenacted them again. Giselle, The Red Shoes, Sleeping Beauty, The Fairy, Death of the Swan, The Nutcracker... One tragedy is already deplorable, not to mention so many tragedies gathered together? He doesn't know whose fault it is? Is it just because he belongs to music and she to dance? Dan Bing!Dan Bing!Is there any chance for Dan Bing to wake up again? Qu Feng was running, as if there was a fire burning in his heart, only running desperately could slightly help him vent the grief that was so intense that it burst.Dan Bing loves him!Dan Bing loves him!How is this possible?She died for loving him. It was not a brave act, not a momentary impulse, but a whole-hearted sacrifice without complaint or regret.It is a sacrifice! Ah Tong opened the door and heard Qu Feng's hoarse voice: "You have known Dan Bing for a long time?" She was taken aback, and sighed softly, "Did you still read those letters?" Once, trying every means, she hoped that he could know her love.Just yesterday, she took him personally to retrieve those letters.However, at the moment when grandma told the news that Dan Bing would die soon, her mind suddenly went blank after being shocked. At this moment, she made up her mind not to tell him anything. She knew that if she told the secret of the swan, told the covenant between Shui'er and him, told the secret code between them—when my body dies, my soul is free—he would keep his word, accept her, and fall in love with her all over again. But, after all, she wasn't really her.One day she will leave this body, at that time, should he be sad again?Or should he wait for the next resurrection to repeat the pain of life and death again and again?Since she is not long in the world, and since she cannot accompany him to grow old, why should he be sad because of her? No, she wants to return her body to that innocent A Tong, and let her soul turn into sea foam along with Dan Bing's body, together with her love for him. Along with love for him.Buried deep under the sea together.Never talk. ——It was for this reason that those letters were transferred, and it was also for this reason that Xiao Lin was told to find him by the lotus pond to create opportunities for them. She couldn't see anything, but her heart saw everything, and she clearly guessed where Qu Feng was going.She loves him so much, solid and understanding.But now that everything is in vain, besides blessing, what else can she do for him? Unexpectedly, he still read those letters.This is God's will, right? She sighed softly, and could only say: "Yes, Ruan Danbing and I have known each other for a long time and are good friends. She kept telling me that she loves you." "Why, didn't you tell me earlier?" "Is there any difference between earlier and now?" The style of music is blocked. Is there a difference?some.A slight difference is a thousand miles away. And that "millimeter" is Kobayashi. However, how could he tell Ah Tong about such a case? But Ah Tong had guessed it.She never needs eyes to see things, naturally, nor ears to hear explanations.She directly read his sigh and bewilderment with her heart. This daze made her feel so distressed that her vision went dark, but she did not lose her composure.She had hoped too many times and was disappointed too many times. Now, she was already in despair.Her love for him is pure because of despair, deep because of helplessness, and in despair and helplessness, she sees the cause and effect clearly—whether it is Shui'er or A Tong, in fact, directly or indirectly, it is all caused by Xiao Lin. Bring her to him.This is also a kind of instruction somewhere, right?Although Xiaolin was against her everywhere, he unconsciously helped her again and again.Well, let her help Xiaolin now too. Resisting the heartache, she persuaded him very thoroughly: "Qu Feng, since you have read those letters, you should understand Dan Bing's heart. Love is a blessing, not possession. Dan Bing does this for you, and only wants you to be happy... Be nice to Xiao Lin, she is also very infatuated with you." He looked at her in surprise, knowing that he had been seen through by her. "A Tong, why do I think you know everything?" "The little prince said: the naked eye is blind, people must use their own hearts to find..." She whispered calmly, and said again, "Qu Feng, be nice to Xiao Lin, don't hurt the second person who loves you .” little Prince?little Prince!For some reason, he was a little disturbed, and faintly felt that there were some secrets that were in front of him, eager to be revealed, but the fog was thick and he couldn't see clearly for a while.Could it be that the naked eye is really blind?Do you have to search with your heart like Ah Tong to see the truth?