Chapter 16 third murder

Another death. How many times have you attended a funeral recently?Xiaowan looked at the stacked lattice shelves in the ashes depository, each with a box, and each box contained a person's skeleton.It turns out that the place a person occupies in the world is only as big as a box. Suddenly feel that life is so meaningless. If you can't become a ghost after death, you will be very unwilling. Xiao Wan hopes that after her death, Ruo Meiying can become a ghost who still has feelings, righteousness and thoughts.That way, it is worthwhile to come to this world.The body can disappear, but the spirit never disappears. Otherwise, why so many heartaches and pains in life?

She looked around and saw many thick or light images, and she knew that those were souls—not every soul could be as vivid as Ruomeiying.There are ups and downs in being a human being, and so is being a ghost. The ghosts looked at her with sad eyes, as if they were murmuring, there were too many voices, overlapping each other, she couldn't grasp any strand of information, and she couldn't help sighing: "Don't ask me anymore, I'm not a god, I can't reach you wish. Don’t look for me again.” Under Zhang Zhiye's arrangement, Xiaowan met Mrs. Zhang, Mrs. Zhang Chaotian.

Mrs. Zhang is dignified and dignified, and she does not describe her as haggard because of the pain of losing her husband. On the contrary, there is a sense of complacency in her demeanor—the kind of complacency that is rare for a small person to be a protagonist. This kind of woman probably only has the chance to be the leading role at her own wedding and the funeral of her closest relatives.If possible, she would rather marry countless times, and then personally bury her husband, so as to increase the drama of life. Perhaps because of Ruo Meiying, Xiao Wan felt unspeakable hostility and contempt towards this wife, Mrs. Zhang.But there are some things that you have to ask her to know.

Fortunately, Mrs. Zhang likes to answer other people's questions - the premise is that the "other" is a reporter. If Zhang Zhi hadn't come forward, Xiaowan thought it would be difficult for her to ask Mrs. Zhang. "Mr. Zhang's life is very legendary." She started her remarks in the tone of answering a reporter's question, looking at Xiao Wan with big eyes, but her eyes were full of Zhang Zhiye. Xiaowan once again affirmed that the reason Mrs. Zhang was willing to come forward was actually to give the reporter face. "Mr. Zhang was an old member of the Communist Party before liberation, but he was an underground party, and his identity was a reporter on the surface. You can see that I am not his first wife. His first wife was a farmer. He married in the countryside... ..."

Xiaowan was taken aback, it turned out that Ruomei Yingfei was not only Zhang Chaotian's last woman, she was not even the first.No wonder he repeatedly shirks, no wonder he hesitates about feelings, it turns out not only because of his special status, he is afraid of hurting Mei Ying, but also because he is not free.Mei Ying and him had never been destined to each other from beginning to end, and it was a mistake to meet him at all, and it was never right. "On the eve of liberation, Mr. Zhang's identity was exposed. He was arrested and imprisoned for a whole year. He was tortured, but he would rather die than surrender, and vowed to fight against the enemy..." Mrs. Zhang is obviously not the first time to answer reporters' questions. She is well-trained , skilled in wording.

Zhang Zhi couldn't help interrupting her: "Then when was he released? Where is his ex-wife?" "After liberation, he was released. His ex-wife is dead, and his whole family is dead. After liberation, Mr. Zhang worked for the government, worked hard and worked hard..." Zhang Zhi also interrupted again: "What about you? When did you get married?" "1978." Mrs. Zhang answered happily this time. Xiaowan couldn't help snorting in her heart. In 1978, when the "Cultural Revolution" ended and Zhang Chaotian returned to his post, it was a time of prosperity, so Mrs. Zhang picked up a ready-made bargain.She was a little relieved that Zhang Chaotian was finally the current Mrs. Zhang who married after Meiying's death, but the clue to find out the truth was cut off again.

Zhang Zhi also comforted her: "Don't worry, we will take our time and find the answer." Xiaowan nodded, her thoughts drifted away. Zhang Zhiye also said: "That day, we also walked out from this exit until we walked to the subway station..." That day, it was Huber's funeral, and Xiaowan asked Zhang Zhiye in extreme fear, "Do you believe in ghosts?" It was he who comforted her, accompanied her out, walked in the sunshine, hugged her, and kissed her she…… Now the cemetery is still there, the sun is still there, but the hearts of those who love each other are far away.

Xiaowan lowered her head, sighing deeply, trying to change the topic: "I never thought that Zhang Chaotian was married..." "Don't be so unfair." Zhang Zhi also hesitated for a moment, not knowing whether to argue for himself or for Zhang Chaotian, "Maybe Zhang Chaotian is not as selfish as you think, he is married, and it happened before he met Ruomeiying. He Falling in love with Mei Ying, but always in a dilemma, is not because of marriage as an obstacle, but probably the opposite, it is a kind of respect for Mei Ying." Xiaowan looked at Zhang Zhiye, not understanding what he said.

Zhi also sighed, and continued: "Man in that era had three wives and four concubines, and for an actor, being a concubine was not a great sacrifice, so Zhang Zhi refused to take it lightly." Accepting Mei Ying's feelings, maybe it is because I respect her too much and regard her as a heavenly person, so I refuse to give her an incomplete relationship and not the identity of the married couple." Xiao Wan frowned, and said unconfidently: "Is that so? It seems to make sense. But..." But what?She couldn't speak again. Zhang Zhi also plucked up his courage and tried again: "Xiao Wan, can we..."

"No." Xiaowan looked at him and said quickly, "I'm in love with someone else." "Others?" Zhang Zhi was also stunned, "So fast?" And Xiaowan herself was frightened by her blurted words, as if a wave of waves surged up in her heart, wave after wave, yes, she fell in love with someone else, that person was A Tao.Yes, she loves A Tao. From the first meeting at the subway station, to the breakup, to the reunion, until now, she has always loved him! She loves Atao!She must make it clear to Atao in person that she must not miss him again! "Xiao Wan, where are you going?" Zhang Zhi also called out behind him.

And Xiao Wan's figure is already far away: "The old place!" Once, she made an appointment to meet at the old place, but he missed the appointment.It's just that it's not the old place she was with him, but Atao's old place. The old place - on every step of the subway station entrance, there is a sentence written: Xiaowan loves Atao. She couldn't find Atao, she could only tell him her love in this way.She knew he would definitely see it, but why didn't he come to her? How many people can one person fall in love with at the same time?And how do you know which one is your favorite or the most suitable one? Sometimes, when we say I love you, what is hidden in our hearts is another name. That's not self-deception, it's just unrequited love. Maybe a lifetime is missed like this. But as long as you have the opportunity to confess your love and meet you, even if there is no ending, you can truly love soberly once in your life and love a worthy person without regrets, you are already lucky. Xiaowan decided never to miss true love again, never to wait for fate again.This time, she will take the initiative to meet her and grab her true love head-on. Night after night, Xiao Wan waited for A Tao at the entrance of the subway station. Waiting for a rabbit, an ancient fairy tale, an unrepeatable encounter in life. Is the reason why the farmer waits for the rabbit because he fell in love with the rabbit?Xiao Wan thought, the farmer is not stupid, but persistent.Life needs hope, and it is more fulfilling to have something to wait for than nothing to wait for. If there is no waiting and longing for A Tao, Xiao Wan doesn't know how to control herself and refuse Zhang Zhiye's second pursuit. Once, she asked Zhiye: "If you fell in love with someone, deeply in love, but knew that this love would bring you pain, what would you do? Zhang Zhiye replied: "I will not fall in love with such a person. I will not suffer for a person who does not love me." I remember at that time, she replied: "Me too." But now she knows that she was wrong, and it is a kind of luck to meet someone who is truly worthy of love in her life.Whether Atao likes herself or not, she has decided to love him and will never regret it. But Atao, where is Atuo? Just like half a year ago, A Tao suddenly disappeared from her life again.Every time the phone rang, she hoped it was him; every time she said someone was looking for her, she looked for A Tao's smiling face in the crowd.However it always fails. The people who came to her, one after another, were not Atao. But Vivienne came unexpectedly again. That day, it was a rainy day.Xiaowan was ironing clothes in the clothing room, when the thunder outside the door chased after another, Vivienne came. Such heavy rain and such loud thunder did not damage her beautiful and colorful makeup in the slightest. Apart from the slight mud spots on the high heels, Vivienne's whole body was clean and tidy, meticulous. She looked around Xiaowan's studio and smiled exaggeratedly: "So the costumes are like this. When I was young, I was also very interested in Peking Opera. My dad likes to watch it. He took me to chase the troupe all day long. My dad and Zhiye's dad are a pair of old theater fans. We got together and sang without three sentences. What about "The Story of the Red Lantern" and "Taking Tiger Mountain by Wisdom"? I’m playing with some opera.” As he spoke, he peeked at Xiaowan, and saw that she was just busy with the work in hand, so she stepped forward to touch the embroidery on her clothes, and praised, “These embroidery are really exquisite, you can do it like this.” It's a lot of work, isn't it?" Xiaowan smiled: "It's much better now. There are many costume shops and costume manufacturers who can buy in bulk. The costumes used to be very particular. You have to find a special person to sew every stitch and thread. Look, like this paddy field pattern vest, a simple one. The nun's clothes don't have any embroidered patterns. Now it's very easy to make. If you cut it well, you can make dozens of pieces as soon as the machine runs. It's very easy to unify the clothes. But in the past, you only made one or two pieces at a time, and you had to tailor the clothes , the paddy field pattern is made of three kinds of silk materials: dark blue, sky blue, and white. It is necessary to calculate how to cut the most economical material, and to cut out the lines strictly according to the paddy field pattern by hand, and then stitch them together piece by piece. , a piece of clothing, no matter how long it takes two or three days..." "Zhang Zhi and I also broke up." Vivienne said suddenly, "This time is for real, the last time." Xiao Wan only paused for a moment, still ironing her clothes in a leisurely manner, and continued the topic just now: "This waistcoat with water field pattern is Chen Miaochang's outfit in "Autumn River". Lined with the "horse face" pleated skirt, there are embroidered flowers on the skirt, usually lotus patterns, where a little spring is exposed, and in some plays, fuss will be made on the silk tapestry, the colors are very bright and vivid, expressing The youthful mood of a young nun." Vivien interrupted angrily: "Stop talking about your paddy field pattern, I'm talking about Zhang Zhiye now, we broke up!" Xiaowan raised her head, a little passively, as if she had to ask, "Why?" "Because we're not together." Vivienne replied, and then laughed hysterically, "Love is just two endings. What's so special about breaking up if you're not together?" "I'm not asking why you two separated." Xiao Wan smiled faintly, "I'm asking why you came here to tell me." "Because no one else can inform... Can I smoke?" Vivienne asked, but she didn't wait for Xiaowan's answer, she already lit a cigarette and smoked vigorously.Pausing for a while, exhaled slowly, and said: "When I was with him, we would have sex every day, it was crazy..." Xiaowan acted as if she had never heard of it, she put the iron aside and hung the clothes on the rack. Vivienne was smoking a cigarette bitterly, and confided her thoughts bitterly to the person who should not confide in her heart: "Every time he wants me, he is very urgent, like a beast. At first I was happy, but then I realized that he is He was venting. He was very regretful and irritable, and he was afraid to face it. Between him and me, there is only sex left—no, there is only 'doing', no 'love'. Love is reserved for you." Xiaowan changed into another piece of clothing and stretched it out on the chopping board, took the iron and continued working. Vivienne became irritable: "Aren't you going to say something?" Xiaowan looked up at her, and said lightly, "This one is called 'Small Rice Sheet', which corresponds to 'Big Rice Sheet', and it's exclusively for girls from ordinary families..." "I didn't ask you to talk about this." Vivian became annoyed, "Shui Xiaowan, I'm discussing boyfriends with you." "It's your boyfriend, not mine, right?" Xiao Wan finally put down the iron, but her expression remained as calm as water, "I'm selfish and only interested in my own affairs. I don't want to discuss your boyfriend with you , and I have no comments for you. If you want to know about costumes, I can..." "I don't want to know about your damn costume!" Vivienne was furious, "Are you taking revenge on me? You're taking revenge on me for calling and harassing you? You're trying to use this knowledge of costumes to annoy me now, aren't you?" "No." Xiaowan looked around and said in a low voice, "I really like these costumes. They are my hobbies, interests, work, career, and mood sustenance. When I am unhappy, they can accompany me. Each of them has life, stories, emotions, and characters. Although they are silent, they know how to comfort. On the day when I broke up with Zhang Zhiye, they made me feel that there are many beautiful things in the world that are worth cherishing. Zhang Zhiye That is, it is not the whole of life.” Vivienne couldn't help taking a step back, and looked Shui Xiaowan up and down again. This was the first time Xiaowan mentioned Zhang Zhiye's name seriously, so calm and sincere.Surrounded by a dazzling array of costumes, the nineteen-year-old Shui Xiaowan looks like a colorful elf, bright and brilliant. Vivienne sighed: "I worked so hard to snatch Zhang Zhiye from you, but you told me that you don't care about him. I don't believe it!" She raised her voice, "Shui Xiaowan, I don't believe it, I don't believe you I really don't care about Zhang Zhiye." "I care." Xiaowan was still calm, "I did care about him a lot, and I used to put my love for him above everything else, but now, I don't love him anymore." She looked at Vivienne, clearly Say it again clearly: "Zhang Zhiye and I will never walk together again." Parallels, or intersections, never coincide.And she and Zhang Zhiye have already missed that intersection, and the road ahead will only go further and further away. "It turns out that I am the one who cares about him the most." Vivienne laughed with a cough, her eyes gradually deepened, and she sighed, "When I was young, I said a very selfish thing: When I look back, I still look at you." Who will stand there waiting for me. One day, the day will be indulgent. But now, I don’t dare to look back, afraid of nothingness, only desolation.” Xiaowan was slightly surprised, and looked at Vivienne intently, watching her thin and handsome lips covered with wine red lipstick flutter up and down on the lower part of her face, her eyes under the blue smoky makeup were particularly deep and charming, like sea water Youlan. Xiaowan had to admit that this was indeed an attractive woman.There is a monster in her beauty, which is a fatal attraction. Even in the face of her own enemy of the same sex, she is still shocked, let alone a man.Maybe she is not as shallow and vulgar as I imagined, she has her intelligence and vision, but she is too utilitarian.From another point of view, she may not be an exciting woman. Unfortunately, they will never be friends. "Why do you only know that you care about him now?" She finally asked, "Before this, didn't you know your own feelings? You worked so hard to find him back, calling, pretending to be a ghost, crying and chasing after him. Shanghai played tricks to force me away again, I thought you loved him deeply. Could it be all fake?" "It's not fake, but it's not much true." Vivien blew out a smoke ring and laughed at herself. "What can I do? Living in this impetuous era, even sadness is deliberate, eager love, gorgeous sadness, everything is a play." She stopped and looked at Shui Xiaowan, a girl who was five or six years younger than herself: "Shui Xiaowan, I really envy you. A girl under twenty can actually bury herself in In the pile of old clothes, the heart is like still water. Survive like a fairy tale. I call, threaten you, and harass you, not because I love Zhang Zhiye so much. Even if I really love someone, it will not be so hard. I cry for you Calling, asking you to leave him, frightening you, teasing you, just trying to disrupt your life, not seeing you too calm. Is there any reason that a twenty-year-old girl can be more calm than me? " "You overestimate me." Xiaowan shook her head, "I'm not calm and calm. I'm too immature and incompetent for love games. I know how to distinguish between big and small ones in costumes, and distinguish between flowers and flowers. Cloaks and plain cloaks, I know that wearing a female boa slanted means that the female commander is ordering troops, and wearing plain pleats slanting means that the hero’s end, but I don’t know how to distinguish between men and women, love and love, passion and desire, truth and falsehood, I can’t even I don’t know if you really loved me. You directed the scene of the ringing bell at midnight, and you made out with him in front of me in the Shanghai hotel, you know? At that moment, I really wanted to die. I even in the rainy day Run to jump the Great Wall... I am very glad that I can still stand here and talk to you, and be praised by you for being calm. However, there is a price to pay for being calm, and that is the failure of love. In this triangle scene, you are is a winner." "No, I didn't succeed." Surprisingly, Vivienne shook her head again and again. The two girls seemed to be competing to be the most unsuccessful. Vivienne, this aggressive and aggressive Miss Beijing, who has become extremely weak at this moment, looked helplessly at Shui Xiaowan who was much younger than herself, and confided distressedly: "I originally thought that no matter when I look back, Zhang He will always be there. He has left me before and had other girlfriends, but as long as I wave, he will come back to me. It is said that women are the most difficult to forget their first love, but in fact, men He cares more. Because he cares about his own past, the woman he really loved, and he doesn't want to see her frustrated. Men are protective, and in Zhiya's heart, I will always be his little sister next door, It was the first woman in his life. But this time, he left me and refused to come back, refused to wait..." "Hasn't he already returned to your side?" Xiao Wan became more and more confused, "Haven't you already got together?" "But he didn't come back to me willingly." Vivienne narrowed her eyes, and under the cover of the cigarette, her eyes seemed a little more vicissitudes, "I came to look for him with my father that day. His parents went to the theater together, and I said I wanted to be with him again, but he turned me down. That was the first time he turned me down! He said he already had a girlfriend and wanted to have a serious relationship, He said that he didn’t want to apologize to you. I almost died laughing, this is what Zhang Zhiye said! He had the guts to treat me like this! So I thought, no matter what method I use, I must make him turn around—I did it, but , he is no longer Zhang Zhiye, he has become a useless person." "..." Xiao Wan didn't understand. Vivienne suddenly laughed: "You don't understand, do you? You're still a virgin, right?" The laughter became louder, almost out of control, "Nineteen-year-old virgins are rare in Beijing. Zhang Zhi also It's not easy for such an impulsive person to pretend to be a gentleman in front of you all the time. Just because of this, I know that the woman he loves the most in his life is not me. " Xiaowan lowered her head, thinking of the night at the Hailan Hotel, she stood naked in front of Zhang Zhiye, and he walked away. Now, she really understands what Atao said, and Zhang Zhiye's refusal might not be a kind of fulfillment.In his heart, there must be pain and self-blame as strong as hers. "Yeah, how are you doing now?" "Not good, very bad." Vivien continued to laugh wildly recklessly, with tears in her eyes, "He has become a useless person, even if he strips off the most beautiful woman and puts it in front of him, there is nothing he can do. Just and In the days when you broke up, he made love to me every day, doing it crazily, but then suddenly it didn’t work, no matter what, I tried my best, begging him, teasing him, willing to do anything for him, but he didn’t do it again Not a man, he even went to bars to find prostitutes, but he was a gentleman once, and now he can only be a gentleman forever, hahaha, gentleman, hahahaha..." Suddenly, her wild laughter stopped abruptly, as if someone had strangled her neck, she covered her mouth with her hand, and looked at the door in horror. Xiao Wan turned her head and saw Zhao Mama standing in the rain in black clothes and a black umbrella, with gray braids and gray face, like a ghost. Zhao Nanny walked in with a cold expression and a stiff voice: "He's dead." Vivien stepped back again and again, and asked hesitantly, "Are you a human or a ghost?" "I'm a human now, and soon I'll be a ghost." Madam Zhao replied, and suddenly burst out laughing loudly and hoarsely than Vivienne's hysteria just now, and her gray braided hair twitched violently .Funny and eccentric. Vivien screamed, couldn't bear it anymore, and fled through the door. Xiaowan looked at Zhao Nanny: "Who? Who do you say is dead?" "The village chief, the village chief is dead. I know you did it." "Village head? What village head? Accountant, what are you talking about?" "Whoever you find will die. It's you, you did it. The way he died is exactly the same as Zhang Chaotian and Hu Xiazi. I know it's you, I know it's you..." Zhao Momo approached step by step , asked gloomily: "Tell me, when will it be my turn? I'm not afraid." "Accountant, what are you talking about?" Xiao Wan didn't understand, "I don't know any village head, and I haven't looked for him." "That reporter has been there." Mother Zhao suddenly screamed, "He went to investigate my details." "The same?" "It's him. He went to the village head, and he died just after he left. Whoever you look for will die, I know. Tell you, I'm not afraid of death, I don't care anymore, you reported it for me Qiu, even if I die, I will rest in peace." "Revenge? What kind of revenge?" Xiaowan asked cautiously, "Is that village chief your friend? Do you suspect that his death is related to it? You want to avenge him?" "I'll avenge him?" Mother Zhao suddenly laughed out loud again, her laughter was hoarse and hoarse, it was worse than crying, and when she smiled, she really turned into crying. "Am I to avenge him? I wish I could eat his flesh and bruise his bones. I slept and woke up thinking of revenge on him, but I couldn't do it. Now he is dead, just like a cripple. I know he is If Meiying is killed, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm satisfied now..." Mother Zhao's voice was hoarse from laughter, and she made a sound like a knife sharpening, "Shui Xiaowan, didn't you always want to know who Ruomeiying was? How did you die? Let me tell you, I'll tell you!" "You know?" Xiao Wan was shocked, "Didn't you say you didn't know last time?" "I said I didn't know because I was afraid. I was afraid that if I said it, I would die. It was too tragic, too tragic. That day, the Taimiao burned clothes, and then there was a violent fight. They were divided into two factions, fired at each other, and became a mess. Ruo Meiying was snatched by Hu Bo and his gang, locked up in a small building, the building was very high, and people were guarded, armed, and no one was allowed to go up. Later, something happened and she died. It was miserable, very miserable. I watched her jump from the upstairs and saw her fall to pieces. It was so miserable. I was so scared that I had nightmares. That’s why I wanted to leave Beijing, but I didn’t think……" "Then why are you telling me now?" "Because my revenge has been avenged, I don't care about death anymore, I just ask you to tell me when it's my turn, when..." "No." Xiaowan looked at Zhao mama sadly, "Meiying will not harm you, she will never harm you." "She will, of course she will. I fought her, beat her, she looked at me, I picked up the whip and hit her, her face, so beautiful, she looked at me..." "Mother Zhao, I don't know if I should tell you, Mei Ying, she won't harm you, because..." Xiao Wan hesitated and hesitated, but in the end, she decided to let everything come to light. "Because she is your mother."