Chapter 12 A Chinese Ghost Story

When we returned to Xi'an, the weather was already hot. This year's summer seems to have come very early, before I noticed the fragrance of the jasmine flowers, and I didn't see the flying posture of the bees clearly, even before the cicadas really started to sing the praises of summer, summer has already come early. Construction projects, roads and buildings are being built everywhere in the urban area of ​​Xi'an. Everyone is disgraced, the stars are shining in front of their eyes, and their temper is getting more and more impetuous.Sometimes when I go out in the morning, I have just walked from Beiguan to the Bell Tower, and I have seen three or four small car accidents one after another. The drivers and traffic police are full of impatience, and the pedestrians are not even interested in stopping to watch, and they are all on their way.

In the lonely and gray sky, even a bird is rarely seen. This is not a city suitable for young men and women to date and fall in love. Everywhere is dirty and messy, and the living circle is getting more and more crowded. Everyone knows everyone, but the closer people get, the more alienated they become. They all wore a powdered and dusted mask. They didn't know how to show their true colors to others. Whenever the lights are on, women in brocade clothes and nocturnal walks are walking around in the city, looking for a glass of wine in the bar. Just a glass of wine.There may be some truth in the occasion of toasting.But when the wine is gone and the songs are gone, forget it.

The lonely car number is the tired snoring of the city. But above the city wall, there is the city's last love staged. "The direction we are going due north is Leyouyuan, right?" Qin Yue pointed to Jiangshan, just like a king pointing to his dead land. "Leyou was originally named because Emperor Xuan of the Han Dynasty used it as a Leyou Garden and set up a Leyou Temple. In the Tang Dynasty, it was the most famous scenic spot in Chang'an. It was assigned to Shengpingfang and Xinchangfang at that time. The highest point of the city, the terrain is high and flat, not far from Qujiang Furong Garden and Big Wild Goose Pagoda, the view is as if you are in front of you, and the scenery is very pleasant. At that time, every March and the Double Ninth Festival in September, there are few ladies in Chang'an. Occupying a favorable terrain early, climbing high and overlooking the distance, covered with clouds and filled with horses and horses, became a grand occasion. During Emperor Gaozong's time, he gave this place to his favorite daughter, Princess Taiping, and built pavilions and pavilions here. The Manor of Princess Taiping. Han Yu wrote in a poem: "The princess wanted to take advantage of the spring, so she put the terraces and pavilions on the city wall, and wanted to know how much flowers were in front of her until Nanshan was no longer her own." It can be seen that the scale of Leyouyuan is huge."

"Really? But the Leyouyuan I saw was ten miles of loess, a ruin." "How could it be? On the Chongyang Festival one year before I was expelled into the army, Teacher Shangguan took me and my brothers and sisters-in-law to the Leyouyuan Wangyuan. At that time, Mrs. Zheng was pregnant with Liujia, and it was very inconvenient to move, but she still insisted on going in person. Go to the Qinglong Temple to offer incense and pray for the unborn daughter, who will be Wan'er later, and you are today." "But today Leyouyuan is indeed no longer a grand scene. If you see Leyouyuan today, you will be sad. Due to the speculation of tomb robbers and the blind soil of local residents, the tombs of all dynasties and generations there They were all dug up, rubbish was piled up, and the Leyou Temple of the Han Dynasty you mentioned was also damaged. It is said that it is the only Han Dynasty temple site discovered so far in China.”

Qin Yue was stunned: "Why do human beings treat their property like this?" "Because they don't think it is their own property. Because they feel that the value of an ancient temple is far less than a pigsty." "But one day, they will pay for their ignorance and ignorance." "Humanity has paid a high price for this." I can't explain to Qin Yue the historical change from "learning from Dazhai in agriculture" to "returning farmland to forests". A son of the Tang Dynasty, a Confucian scholar who upholds the three cardinal guides and five constant rules as the foundation of life, will not understand human beings in these obvious mistakes The ones who planted somersaulted in circles.However, it is these obvious mistakes that have made people entangled and suffered for a hundred years.

Qin Yue murmured: "Leyou Yuan Shang Qingqiu Festival, the ancient roads of Xianyang are full of music." I interfaced: "It turns out that the flowers are blooming everywhere, like this, they are all ruined." I heard that Leyouyuan is currently building large-scale construction projects, digging mountains and opening roads. I am afraid that in three or more years, Leyouyuan will no longer exist, even if the walls and walls are ruined, there will be no way to see it. Qin Yue asked: "Then, is the Qinglong Temple still there? I heard from Teacher Shangguan that it was a temple built in the Sui Dynasty. Yang Jian, Emperor Wendi of the Sui Dynasty, was born in a Buddhist temple when he was young and was raised by nuns until he was 13 years old. He was deeply influenced by Buddhism. When Daxing City was being built, with a thought of benevolence, the cemetery mounds in the city were relocated to the countryside. In order to save these dead souls, a temple was built on Leyouyuan and named Inspiration Temple. Tang Ruizong Jingyun changed its name to Qinglong Temple in the second year , is a famous temple with flourishing incense. Is it still there?"

"It's still there. But it's not the Qinglong Temple of the past, but it was rebuilt in retro style. Moreover, it was built with the help of the Japanese. Japan, in the Tang Dynasty, seemed to be called the Fusang Kingdom." "That really fulfilled Master Huiguo's prophecy." Qin Yue lamented: "Huiguo, the Great Acharya of Qinglong Temple, spread the Esoteric Buddhism all his life, and saved all living beings, from the court dignitaries to the common people, all received empowerment. He devoted all his life to the incense of Qinglong Temple, but after his death, his intentions were really unhappy."

I remembered, "I have seen Hui Guo and Kukai Memorial Hall in Qinglong Temple. I know that Hui Guo is Kukai's master, and Kukai is the founder of Japan's Tomi Shingon sect. But why did Hui Guo accept a Japanese as an apprentice?" I have learned all my life, but I haven't heard that he has any closed disciples in Middle Earth?" "That's because Master Huiguo intensively studied Buddhism and could know the past and the future. At that time, Buddhism flourished unprecedentedly and spread widely abroad. During the Heian Dynasty in Japan, a large number of 'monks of learning' and 'monks of asking for benefits' came to our Tang Dynasty to seek the Dharma. Kukai, It is also one of them. As soon as Huiguo saw him, he said: "My prophet, you have come, and I have been with you for a long time. It is very good to see you today. The retribution is exhausted, and no one pays the Dharma. You must quickly arrange the incense and enter the altar .'(I knew you were coming, and I have been waiting for a long time. I am very happy to see you today. There is not much time, but no one can pass on my mantle. Since you are here, hurry up to accept the gift and hold the apprenticeship ceremony .) After Kukai worshiped Huiguo as his teacher, Huiguo passed on all the two Dafa and various yogas to Kukai, like a draining bottle, and ordered the painter to draw ten large mandalas in the Taizang Vajra Realm, and the caster made fifteen new props , and the image writing scriptures as a gift to Kukai. I hope he will return to his hometown as soon as possible to serve the country, spread the world, and increase the blessings of Cangshan Mountain. However, the world is peaceful and the people are safe. Filial piety from the Yu family, passed on to the Eastern Kingdom, work hard, work hard.'”

I suddenly realized: "Qinglong Temple declined day by day after the Tang Dynasty, and was finally razed to the ground. It was not rebuilt until the 1970s with the help of the Japanese. It turned out to be the Shingon sect drinking water and thinking about the source, 'repaying the Buddha's grace and the teacher's virtue'. No wonder Huiguo The mage said that "retribution is exhausted, no one pays the law", he would rather teach the truth to foreign countries, but also told Kukai to go back early. It turned out that he had already predicted the doom of Qinglong Temple's destruction, so he wanted to save the country and shelter For future generations, to preserve the lineage of incense in Qinglong Temple, it can be said to be well-intentioned."

Qin Yue nodded: "Actually, these things have happened many years after my death. But Master Huiguo is a generation of eminent monks who have never lost their heroic spirit. He once had a heart-to-heart communication with me. Now, he can finally feel relieved. I only wish this Once the incense in Qinglong Temple is renewed, it will not be extinguished artificially. I hope that people in the world will do good deeds and stop destroying their homes. All things in the world have their own laws in the cycle of cause and effect. This is the way of heaven." Qin Yue and I still meet at the top of the city on the fifteenth night of every month.This relationship, which I knew was fruitless, has become an inseparable part of my life, and the blood runs through my whole body like that.

On the other hand, I met Jiuwen more frequently than before.Just because I need his comfort and his real company for me under the sun.I can't explain my emotional dissociation, maybe it's because I'm more and more afraid of loneliness? Jiuwen said: "Now I feel that the two of us may really be out of luck." I glanced at him, not understanding why he would say such a sentence out of nowhere. Nine Questions explained: "A relationship between a man and a woman is like sailing against the current. If you don't advance, you will retreat. I never realized that there are thousands of ways to get to know each other. It doesn't matter even if you become an enemy and beat you to death. Sublimation, becoming brothers and sisters, there is really no way out. Believe it or not, you can tell it from the way you walk." I laughed, thinking that this kind of statement is also fresh and interesting.But there are so many lovers on the East Street, and in the eyes of others, we might as well be a couple who like each other. Nine questions otherwise, pointing to the front and said: "It's strange, you see, the ones who are tightly held together and whisper to each other from time to time are lovers; The slow ones are probably men and women who have just met and are in the trial stage; and we, who are chatting and laughing, are familiar and natural, can only be confidante and revolutionary comrades.” It made me laugh, and while looking along his fingers, I suddenly saw a familiar figure and couldn't help being stunned. It's Gao Ziqi!And he was holding a young woman on his arm! At first I guessed that this was probably his wife, but the age didn't look right, the girl was obviously a few years younger than Dai'er.So I guessed that it was his sister, but the intimate behavior and ambiguous expressions of the two made it impossible for me to justify it. According to Jiuwen, there is only one explanation for their relationship, that is, they are lovers. I couldn't restrain my curiosity and followed along. Not long after they walked, they turned into a private video studio. I glanced at the poster, and the title of the film was "Happy Together". Under the sun, I suddenly burst into tears. Jiuwen comforted me: "Maybe he has his reasons." "Reason? There can be a thousand reasons for love, but there is never any reason for betrayal. It was already wrong for him to betray his wife, and now he is betraying Dai'er. He is no better than a beast. No, I must find Dai'er, and I want to tell her , she loved him wrong, she must wake up!" Jiuwen's face suddenly changed: "Tang Yan, do you think that once you fall in love with one person, you can never fall in love with another person?" "Of course." I glanced at Jiuwen, and quickly changed my words, "I mean if two people have already made a vow to each other, of course they should keep the promise." Jiuwen breathed a sigh of relief: "That is to say, if one day I fall in love with someone else, you can still accept me as a friend?" I was surprised: "Jiuwen, I have always regarded you as a friend. Have you found the person you love the most? Have you? Tell me and let me bless you." "Not yet, don't worry, if one day I finally meet my love, I will definitely tell you as soon as possible." I looked at Jiuwen and smiled. After dating for a long time, I have long been familiar with his temper, and his relationship is most belong to the kind of "a bottle of silence and half a bottle of light". When I meet a girl who is a bit close to my eyes, I haven't written a word yet, and he has already spread the hype everywhere. , just didn't say that the girl would pack up her clothes and stick to the door tomorrow; but when it was his turn to be really moved, he was vague and cautious in his words and deeds.It seems that he suddenly became solemn like now, almost inseparable, because he already has a new goal. That night, Dai'er finally took the initiative to call. I yelled: "Dai'er, you want to kill me, how are you now? Is the child born? When will you come back? I have moved back to Beiguan, and I have not been able to contact you. The house on West Street is still open." Don't keep it for you? Why haven't you contacted me for so long? " After asking more than ten sentences, Dai'er only answered one sentence: "I've come back, I'll wait for you at home. Can you come over now?" "You have already returned to Xi'an? When? Why didn't you notify me to pick it up?" I asked a series of questions again, but this time I said without waiting for her answer, "I'll go over now, let's meet and talk." After half a year's absence, I finally saw Dai'er again, she was still slender and graceful, even more delicate and ethereal than before.I have changed into pajamas, a white silk nightgown that I have never seen before, embroidered with butterflies all over it. Dai Er is also a butterfly herself, tired of dancing and lost in the wind. I asked, "So the child has already been born? Is it a boy or a girl?" Dai'er didn't answer, but asked me instead: "Have you met Ziqi?" I was suffocated, and the joy of seeing Daier again suddenly cooled down. Dai'er asked: "What? Is he doing well?" "good very good." I took out the tea leaves and brewed two cups of fresh green leaves, while hesitating whether to tell her the truth. The fine white porcelain cup and the green tea leaves floated up due to the heat of the water, and then slowly sank, with several ups and downs, and finally the water is still and the tea is full of fragrance, and a cup of tea is ready.I brought Dai'er a cup and asked, "Dai'er, are you still in love with him?" Dai'er smiled, and there was an indescribable desolation and helplessness in her smile: "Love, it is because of this love that I am full of nostalgia for the world. He is my biggest concern and last belief in the world. I love him and rely on this Love to breathe, live. He is my air, my sea, without his love, I will suffocate at any time." "No, forget about him, he's not worth it." "Love is not worth it or not. Anyway, I loved it, and I don't regret it." Dai'er gently stopped me, "Yan'er, you promised not to blame Ziqi again." "I don't want to blame anyone, I just care about you!" I stood up and went to Del, trying to shake her hand. Dai'er took a step back, I just stopped and looked at her. There is a cold breath in the air, slightly fragrant, but cold, not in line with the coolness of the season. I looked at her and made up my mind to tell the truth, "I just saw him this afternoon. He went to watch a pornographic movie with a woman!" Dai'er took another step back as if she had been severely injured, and murmured: "So soon?" Then, she lowered her head and cried. Tears flowed down her jade-like cheeks without hindrance, and the water-like silk clothes rolled down all the way. Half of it falls into the cup, and half of it seeps into the underworld.The underworld is formed by the tears of a sad woman, right? That's when I realized that Dai'er was barefoot. I was uneasy, and called softly: "Dai'er?" Dai'er raised her head and smiled sadly. There was a kind of desolate coldness in her smile. "Thank you, Yan'er, I understand. I have nothing to worry about... Yan'er, do you still remember He Peiyi?" "Remember, why, did you see him?" Dai'er shook her head, and asked again: "Do you remember Alan? And..." She said a lot of names, all of which were failed men who pursued her hard. Familiar, but can't remember what the person looks like, and some even have unfamiliar names. I didn't understand: "Why do you think of them? Are you going to call them up to throw hydrangeas or fight in the ring?" "If, you will meet them in the future, please say sorry for me." Dai'er looked at me, and I saw a moonlight-like cool beauty in her eyes. I was familiar with that flowing cold and gentle breath, and it was Qin Yue's unique temperament. Now I am in Dai'er's eyes I saw the same charm.She calmly said to me with this kind of tenderness and coldness that penetrates everything: "Yan'er, I remember when you advised me that my own feelings are feelings, and other people's feelings are also feelings. , don't do it to others. But I didn't listen, and I quarreled with you. Now I know I was wrong. I don't deserve their love for me, and I don't deserve to be your friend. I'm just a embroidered pillow with no appearance. I don't understand If you don’t know how to love, I deserve what I did today.” I was shocked: "Daier, what are you talking about? How did you start to repent?" Dai'er ignored me and continued: "Second thing, I also ask you, if one day you go to Beijing, please help me return that old small pot to the owner of Liulichang, and tell him the truth. Tell him that he didn't 'open eyes', I was young and ignorant and made fun of him." I felt more and more that something was wrong, Dai'er's tone seemed to be giving her last words.Lowering my head, I suddenly noticed Dai'er's cup. After drinking for so long, her cup was still full. At this time, Dai'er said: "Yan'er, please, I'm leaving." "Go? You're not staying here tonight? I have a lot to tell you." I was surprised, she had obviously changed into her nightgown, where was she going? But she has already stood up: "Yan'er, if you see my mother, tell her that I love her!" She raised her head and looked into the invisible distance, "If I could start from scratch, I really want to be a Good daughter." The feeling of uneasiness in my heart became stronger, and I quickly stood up: "Dai'er, don't go, listen to me..." Dill stopped, turned, and smiled. Oh, her smile, her smile has such a breathtaking beauty, it is so beautiful that it is hopeless. I seem to be seeing her for the first time, seeing her beauty for the first time. Although I have always known that Dai'er is beautiful, I have known it since the first time we met, but until today, I have not noticed that her beauty is so extraordinary, so sad and moving, as if it can always penetrate people's hearts, See the tenderness and touch in the deepest part of the soul. That is a kind of beauty.It is a beauty that does not belong to the world, does not stain the world of mortals, and is otherworldly. I was overwhelmed by the beauty, until Dai'er turned and left, and then I chased after it as if awakened from a dream. Dai'er had floated out of the house, and her silk robe embroidered with butterflies landed silently. I chased out the door, into the midnight darkness. The wind outside the door is bleak, and the cicadas sing intermittently, but Dai'er's figure like water is nowhere to be seen. But I clearly heard her voice lingering in the air: "Acacia is only there, on the branches of cloves, and on the tips of cardamom." "Dale, wait a minute!" I yelled. However, no one answered. where did she goWas it swallowed up by the night?Or drift away with the breeze?But in the blink of an eye, she disappeared without a trace, as if she had disappeared out of thin air. There is no moon in the sky, and the stars are like cold eyes, distant and strange. Dai'er, wearing a nightgown embroidered with butterflies and barefoot, just disappeared under the moonless starry sky. When I got back to the room, I took her teacup, and the new cup of tea at midnight in summer that I had just brewed would freeze my hands. I was suspicious of Mo Ming, so I had to make another long-distance call to Taizhou: "Excuse me, did Dai'er say where she will live when she comes to Xi'an this time?" The other party's voice was obviously full of surprise: "Dai'er came to Xi'an? Who did you hear that Dai'er went to Xi'an?" "I saw her just now, but she refused to stay. I don't know where she has gone, and I am very worried." "You said, you met Dai'er?" "yes." The other party hesitated for a moment and said, "Please wait a moment." The person on the other side of the phone changed, and I recognized the voice as Dai'er's mother. "Auntie, I'm Tang Yan. Do you remember me?" "Tang Yan, I remember, you are Dai'er's best friend." For some reason, Aunt Chen's voice seemed a little choked up. "Auntie, do you know where Dai'er lives in Xi'an this time?" "Tang Yan, did you make a mistake? Tang Yan is at home, in Taizhou, and she hasn't gone anywhere." "But I just saw her just now. She left crying. I'm very worried." There was silence on the other side, and after a while, Aunt Chen said, "Tang Yan, Dai'er is ill, very seriously ill, and has been ill for a long time, do you want to come and see her?" I was extremely surprised and worried, so I thought about it quickly and said, "Okay, I'll book a ticket tomorrow." Tickets were purchased smoothly, and I got off the plane to catch a bus, and I arrived in Taizhou at dusk the next day. Aunt Chen's face was full of sorrow, and she greeted lightly: "Tang Yan, you really came." There was a smell of potion on the face.I was very disturbed: "Auntie, you said Dai'er is at home?" "You come." My aunt led the way and ushered me into Del's bedroom. My heart suddenly beat violently, and my hair stood on end. I didn't know what terrible situation I would see. Yet all I saw was Dill. It's Del! Really Dale! Dai'er is really at home! I just feel unbelievable. Could it be that everything yesterday was a dream? I stepped forward and called, "Dai'er, are you really at home?" Dai'er fell asleep and ignored her. I stepped forward and shook her gently: "Dai'er, I'm here." Aunt Chen's uncontrollable crying came from behind. Only then did I realize with horror what a terrible thing had happened. Terrible to the point where it couldn't be more terrifying. Dai'er, she was expressionless and unresponsive. She was shaken by my call and remained unmoved in the slightest.And what she was wearing was the white silk nightgown embroidered with butterflies that I saw last night, all wings were folded, and she was dead in the cold snow. I took a step back and screamed. Aunt Chen cried and said, "Tang Yan, did you see it? She has been like this for several months? How could you have seen her in Xi'an?" "She, she..." I stuttered. "Tang Yan, don't you understand? Dai'er has become a half-dead person. There are often such plots in TV dramas, people in a vegetable state! But I didn't expect that such a thing would actually happen, and it would happen in our home. " My first reaction was: Dill committed suicide.But Dai'er shouldn't be a suicidal person. She loves herself so much and loves others like that. Those who have the strongest love should also have the strongest desire for life.She respects life, she is still pregnant with a child, and she still wants to give birth to that child.How could she die? "What's going on? How did this happen? Auntie, how did this happen?" I heard my own voice inflected asking. "It's all my fault. I saw that she was pregnant, so I persuaded her to have an abortion. I begged her, cried and begged her, and said everything, but she refused. I really had no choice, so I sneaked into her meal After putting abortion medicine, she can't do anything if she wants to cook raw rice. But I didn't expect her to be so carefree, but her heart is so strong. She found out that she had a miscarriage, and she was so angry that she ran away from home It ended up being rained and sick in the hotel. When we found her, she was already like this. The doctor said that it was a postpartum cold that turned into meningitis, and the treatment was too late! Dai’er, it’s your mother who hurt you... " Aunt Chen broke down in tears.And there was a bang in my head, as if a burst of thunder rolled by.meningitis!Vegetative!What a terrible vocabulary!How could they have anything to do with Dill? Aunt Chen is still crying: "I am not a good mother, I have harmed my daughter..." I held her up, and it took a lot of effort to make a sound: "No, Auntie, Dai'er didn't blame you, she asked me to tell you that she loves you..." Aunt Chen burst into tears. I wanted to tell her that Daier also said: "If I can start from scratch, I really want to be a good daughter."But I dare not, I am afraid that this will kill the old man.The grieving mother was already vulnerable and could not bear more stimulation. At this time, I deeply understood that what Dai'er said to me last night was all from the bottom of my heart.Just because I have felt that way too.But, why do daughters all over the world know how to be a good daughter only when they lose it? Sorrowful and frightened, a bird sings, and the fate of the spring is over, and the fragrance soul flies one by one... It turns out that A Chinese Ghost Story can really happen in reality. I hugged Dai'er tightly, feeling my heart hurt like a twist. How could he believe that the weak and helpless cat-like girl in his arms was Dai'er? Where did Dai'er's domineering behavior go?Where did Dai'er's Yanshi Meixing go? Dai'er is invincible, carefree, and invincible.How could Dai'er be so pussy for a stinky man? I held Dai'er's hand and said softly, "Dai'er, wake up, let's turn all living beings upside down." Aunt Chen cried so much that she couldn't stand, and was helped out by her family. Leaving me alone, sitting beside Dai'er's bed, gently unfolding the silk low-cut lotus vest with hanging bags that I bought for her in Luoyang but never had the chance to give away. This is Dai'er's favorite style in the past.When she puts it on, she moves her slender waist, making her breasts appear fuller and her cleavage looming, making her as tempting as she wants. When she was in college, every time she wore this kind of clothes, I always scolded her for being too ostentatious, but now I miss her style. I don’t know this silent Dai’er on the bed, this insensitive Dai’er, but the Dai’er in my heart is always in high spirits, she cares about everything, looks down on all men, treats them like dust and mustard, and invites her Gone. I want to see her smoke a cigarette, watch her down her cider like water, and say, "The best game now is to find a man to hangover." I want to see her laughing and making fun of men They, lure them, and then throw them away like a ball of mud, like bees and butterflies passing through the flowers, leaving a fragrance, but not dusty. Oh, Dai, as long as you get up, no matter how much you go too far, I will never blame you again.As long as you get up! As long as you get up! I looked around, Dai'er's exquisite bedroom still maintained her previous layout, with embroidered curtains covered with tassels, numerous hanging pendants of thousand paper cranes, Chen Yifei's Le Nu picture on the wall smiling charmingly, and the bedside Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Tales "There is a red leaf bookmark on the unfinished page... It is deliberately fragrant, but the strong smell of potion still clearly reminds that this is a ward. I took the fairy tale book, turned to the page that Dai'er hadn't finished reading, and gently recited to her: "The little mermaid asked sadly: 'Why can't we get an immortal soul? As long as I can become a human being and enter the heavenly world, even if I only live there for one day, I am willing to give up what I can live here. hundreds of years of life.' "'You must not think so,' said the old lady, 'that our life here is much happier and better than that of the human race above.' "'Then I shall die, and float on the water in foam. Shall I never hear the music of the waves again, nor the fair flowers, nor the scarlet sun? Can I not have an immortal soul?' "'No!' said the old lady, 'only when a man loves you, and thinks of you more dearly than his parents; only when he puts all his thoughts and loves on you; Only when he makes the priest place his right hand in yours, promising to be faithful to you now and forever, will his soul be transferred to you, and you will have a share of human joy. But if you can't make him love you with all his heart, your heart will break and you'll be foam on the water the first morning he marries someone else.'  …" At this time, Dai'er's hand seemed to move slightly.I squeezed it tightly and brought it close to my cheek.Her hands were cold and slightly fragrant, although the oil was exhausted, they were still soft and smooth. My tears fell on the back of Del's hand. For a long time, it was Dai'er who read fairy tales to me. She liked them, recited them, and pursued the realm they described.However, she did not get sincere love after all, is she about to turn into a bubble? She once said: "Everyone's definition and pursuit of love is different. Some people are for marriage, some are for desire, some are for profit, and I, Chen Daier, are just for experience. I met He, falling in love with him, being happy for him, suffering for him, living for him, dying for him, experiencing all the joys and sorrows in the world for him, I am willing. As long as I have had such a love experience, I am satisfied. I No other answer is needed, because love itself is already the most perfect answer." Now, she really practiced her love theory, experienced all the pain and torture for love, and even paid the price with her life.But is it worth it?does it worth?When her soul turns into foam and floats on the water, what about her love?Where did her love go? Suddenly, I remembered Miss Chen's exhortation: stop her, stop her! So it is!That's right! I have failed Miss Chen, and even more so, my friendship with Dai'er!If I had cared more about her, if I had come to Taizhou sooner, perhaps things would not have turned out like this.Dai'er, it's me, it's me who hurt you! Del stopped breathing in the early hours of the next day. Until death, did not open her beautiful eyes again.Maybe, she no longer has any nostalgia for this world, maybe, she has finished what she wanted to say. Dai'er, who has been sleeping soundly forever, is still beautiful, but she is so desperately beautiful, so lifeless, like a beautiful butterfly specimen, with a sad aura all over her body, not even the smell of the potion that filled the room. There is sadness and sadness everywhere. As she herself wished, let life end at the most beautiful moment. I dressed and made up her myself, taking care not to let tears fall on her body.Because the old people said that if the tears of the living fell on the dead, the dead souls would not be able to ascend to heaven because they were concerned about the world. But when I saw Dai'er being burned, I couldn't restrain myself anymore, I wanted to jump out and pull everyone away, so that they would not send Dai'er's beautiful and young body into the furnace. How can you believe that it has been turned into ashes in only ten minutes? When the furnace of ashes was pushed out again, I picked up a piece of ashes and fell limply. When I woke up again, it was already afternoon, and I was lying on the sofa of Chen’s house, still tightly holding a piece of Dai’er’s remains in my hand. It was only at this moment that it became clear that Daier was dead. I wailed. It was as if a bloody hole had been pulled out of my heart, but it was stuffed into a boulder, empty and heavy.And I know that it will be difficult to make up for that damaged piece in this life. Dai'er is gone, Dai'er is really gone.She would never laugh and curse at me again, flirt with the world, read aloud or shed tears for her puppy. Del...