Chapter 8 third party declaration of love

"This drama is called "Tang Palace", but the real focus should be the Zhou Dynasty. The Zhou Dynasty existed for such a short time in history that it was buried under the grand banner of the Tang Dynasty and was often ignored. Xi'an The travel brochures in the country have always contradicted themselves because of the concept of the ancient capital of the thirteen dynasties or the ancient capital of the fourteenth dynasties. People do not know. It is the only empress in Chinese history - Wu Zetian." I asked Xia Jiu about the speech: "When Wu Zetian met Tang Taizong Li Shimin, it was the Tang Dynasty; when Wu Zetian married Tang Gaozong Li Zhi, it was still the Tang Dynasty; but when Wu Zetian promoted Shangguan Wan'er to be the official history of Lantai, it was already the Great Zhou Dynasty. Wan'er , is the best hostage to witness the heyday of the Zhou Dynasty, and even a powerful evidence to flaunt the achievements of the empress. Because, just as Wu Zetian was the only empress in Chinese history; Shangguan Waner is also the only female minister in Chinese history. She is in charge Order documents, approve memorials, and draft imperial edicts, and then the harem is filled, and the power is in the court. Scholars all over the world are eager to get her comments and praises. For good poems, they all hope that she can make a decision with one word. She can be called the first talented woman in the past and present. However, after the death of Emperor Wu, although Wan'er continued to assist Zhongzong Li Xian in the position of Zhaoyi, she still returned the title of state to the Tang Dynasty. Moreover, Zhongzong did not seem to listen to Wan'er so much. He has no talent outside Governing the country, he couldn't appease the harem inside, and was eventually poisoned by his wife, Queen Wei, and daughter Anle. The imperial decree wanted to surrender to Li Longji, but before he had time to express his heart, he was blocked by a sword - this Tang Xuanzong later had such deep affection for Concubine Yang Gui, and he could give her death in Maweipo, so how could he be seeking a throne? When seizing power, do you feel sorry for a former emperor's concubine and his political opponent? Shangguan Wan'er is like a small boat swaying in the stormy sea. Still died at the hands of another Tang king, and became an innocent victim of historical changes and dynasty changes. Later, Li Longji probably felt that he had gone too far, and issued an edict hypocritically, praising Wan'er's outstanding literary talent, and ordered the editor I wrote the preface for the first time—but what’s the point? In short, it doesn’t matter whether it’s Tang Zhongzong who made Wan’er Zhaoyi, or Tang Xuanzong who killed Wan’er and wrote a book for her. Well, after all, they are not Shangguan Wan'er's true confidant. Only Empress Wu Zetian is the only one who appreciates her wit and gives full play to her talents. Only women understand the excellence of women; only women know the hardships of women. Rouge Empire In the Great Zhou Dynasty, only Shangguan Wan'er was the subject who cared about Emperor Wu, and only Wu Zetian was the master who boldly reused Wan'er. The two of them, complementing each other, illuminated the unique sky in Chinese history , making the magnificent Tang Palace with gold and iron horses a little more charming—this is the accurate positioning of Shangguan Wan'er in this film, and it is also the way and scale of handling the rivalry between the Emperor Wu and Wan'er."

Xia Jiuwen first responded with compliments, and then only nodded frequently.For me—or for Shangguan Wan'er—he has changed the script again and again, so that the director issued a warning: "The script can no longer be changed, and Wan'er's play cannot be added. The script has been finalized. You Changing things like this will not only affect the progress of the filming, but other actors also have opinions, so there must be trouble." Today it's my turn to take photos.Where the magnesium light flashed, the director was taken aback for a moment, and murmured, "I seem to see Shangguan Wan'er alive. Was there lightning just now?"

Everyone laughed together: "The director praises Tang Yan like that, beware of Blue Pigeon getting jealous." The director was at a loss: "Then, it's not lightning, it's just lights? But just now I clearly saw Shangguan Wan'er, the crystal light flickered, piercing people's eyes." Everyone couldn't help laughing. Lan Gezi pretended to be furious: "Wan'er, you are so brave!" He picked up the script and threw it at me. This is a plot set in the play: Wan'er "succumbed to disobedience", the Emperor Wu was furious, picked up a dagger and threw it at Wan'er, scratching her forehead.Emperor Wu was still angry, and ordered the criminal officer to stab the plum blossom seal on the wound on Wan'er's forehead to leave a mark forever.

What Blue Pigeon is doing now is exactly this knife-throwing scene.So I yelled out cooperatively, covered my forehead with my hands and fell back. It happened that Xia Jiuwen came to visit the set just at this time. He didn't know what was going on. Seeing that I was about to fall, he instinctively stepped forward to help him, and pulled the wire, and the camera light column fell down with a "crash", hitting me right On my body, I couldn't avoid it, and I fell heavily to the ground wrapped in wires. I was dizzy for a while and couldn't speak for a while. Blue Pigeon rushed over, full of regrets: "Tang Yan, Tang Yan, how are you?"

Xia Jiuwen was so shocked that her voice changed: "Blood, you are bleeding!" The make-up artist quickly took a cotton pad and pressed it on my head, and then called the stage manager to fetch water to wash the wound. I just felt that the stars were popping up in front of me, but seeing the remorse and anxiety on the faces of Lan Gezi and Xia Jiuwen, I couldn't bear it, so I forced a smile and said, "It's nothing, just a small injury." The drama manager brought the washbasin, and the make-up artist cleaned up the wound carefully, leaving a small cut in the middle of the forehead and between the eyebrows.

I made fun of it: "That's good, I don't need to make up for filming later." It is said that after Shangguan Wan'er got tattooed, she decorated her forehead with flowers to cover her scars. Not only did it not hurt her beauty, but it became a special decoration that everyone in the Tang Palace imitated. However, I don't know where I am going now. Find that special and quirky forehead piece. Blue Pigeon hesitated: "It's such a coincidence, it's almost like a spell." The people present were also "tsk tut" in amazement. Suddenly, someone mentioned Liu Dan who played the role of Xiangfei in "Huanzhugege" and said: "Liu Dan really turned into a butterfly and flew away as soon as he finished playing Xiangfei. Tang Yan was even more strange. Before playing Shangguan Wan'er, I touched my forehead first, so there must be some kind of tricks, right?"

I also shudder in my heart, thinking of the famous movie star Ruan Lingyu, who played a miserable woman who was attacked by the media and committed suicide in the film "Modern Woman". The film has become the swan song on her screen. Ren's scene was turned upside down, but the director remained silent from the beginning to the end.But when the work was over, he suddenly called Xia Jiuwen over, and simply said: "Didn't you say you want to change the book, then do it." Jiuwen gladly accepted the order, and revised the script even more drastically. I still filmed during the day, edited the script at night, and met with Jiuwen every now and then to discuss the details of script revisions, and I was extremely busy.

Gao Ziqi led a group out again.The cabin was filled again with Dill's voice reading fairy tales. This time, Wilde's "The Nightingale and the Rose": "The rose tree said to the nightingale: 'If you want a red rose, you must make it by music in the moonlight, and with the blood of your breast Come dye it red. You're going to put your chest against a thorn and sing for me. Sing all night long. The thorn must pierce your heart, and then your blood flows into my veins and becomes mine blood before I can give you a red rose.'” For some reason, Dai'er's voice was trembling, as if she was crying: "'It's a very high price to exchange death for a rose,' Nightingale replied, 'Life is very precious to everyone. Sitting in the green It was a joy to see the sun drive her golden chariot, and the moon her pearl chariot from the trees. The hawthorn gave off fragrance, and so did the bluebells hiding in the valleys, and the heather blooming on the hills. Yet Love is better than life, and how can a bird's heart be better than a human's?"

Del stopped. I asked, "Why don't you read it? I'm listening." So Daile read on: "When the moon was high in the sky, the nightingale flew to the rose tree, and pressed her breast to the thorn. She sang all night with her breast on the thorn, and even as cold as crystal Mingyue also leaned down to listen. She sang non-stop all night long, and the stabs on her chest became deeper and deeper, and the blood on her body was almost running out. "She began to sing of the love that sprouts in the hearts of boys and girls. On the highest branch of the rose tree a strange rose bloomed, and the song sang and the petals opened. At first the flower It was milky white, as white as the mist hanging over the river, as white as the feet of the morning, as white as the wings of the dawn. The rose that bloomed on the highest branch was like a rose in a silver mirror. Middle, rose shadows in the pool.

"But then the Tree cried out to the Nightingale to push the thorn tighter. 'Push it tighter, little Nightingale, or it will be dawn before the rose is finished.' cried the Tree. So the Nightingale pushed the thorn still tighter. , and her singing grew louder, for she sang of the passion born in the hearts of a grown man and woman. A faint blush crept up the rose petals, like the blush on the face of the bridegroom when he kisses the bride. But The thorn had not yet reached the nightingale's heart, so the rose's heart was still white, for only the blood of the nightingale's heart could stain the rose's heart red.

"At this moment the tree shouted to the nightingale to push it tighter. 'Tighter, little nightingale,' cried the tree, 'or the rose will be bright before it is finished.' So the nightingale took the rose The grip was tighter, piercing her heart, and a sharp pain hit her whole body. The pain became more and more severe, and the singing became more and more intense, because she sang of the love accomplished by death, and sang Love that is also immortal in the grave. "In the end, this extraordinary rose turned crimson, like the red clouds in the eastern sky. The outer ring of the petals was crimson, and the center of the flower was redder like a ruby. But the nightingale's song became weaker and weaker, and she Her little wings began to flap, and a film of mist crept over her eyes. Her singing became weaker, and she felt something blocked her throat..." Del's throat was also blocked by something, and she choked up. I walked over and hugged her shoulder: "What's the matter, Dai'er?" Dai'er looked at me, her big eyes filled with sorrow and helplessness: "Yan'er, do you remember the ending of this story?" "Of course. The nightingale finally completed the most colorful and fragrant red rose in the world with her singing and the blood in her heart, and dedicated it to the young man who thought she really knew what love is. The red rose was exchanged for a dance with her female companion, and she threw it away without cherishing it, and threw it in the gutter, and a carriage passed by, trampling it to pieces." "He threw it away." Dai'er repeated, and she looked at me with a kind of sad eyes that I had never seen before, "Yan'er, if a red rose exchanged at the price of life is given by the other party Throw it in the gutter without cherishing it, what should it do? Let the carriage trample it into dust?" "What's wrong with you, Dai'er? What happened?" My heartbeat suddenly accelerated, and I couldn't help hugging Dai'er even tighter, "Is it Ziqi..." "No, he's fine." Dai'er denied it vehemently, but I saw teardrops dripping on her red dress, blurring out little by little irregular circles, just like blossoming red dresses. Rose. I don't understand why Dill's eyes are getting sadder every day.It stands to reason that she and Ziqi should be a pretty ideal couple. Could something be wrong?But if Dai'er doesn't say anything, I don't feel comfortable asking. Respect for privacy is the first condition of being a friend.Even if you are as familiar as Dai'er, you don't need to wear a mask day and night, and you can't rely on your familiarity to sell your familiarity and chase after you. I wait for the day when she herself will tell me the story. When I saw Qin Yue again, I intentionally wore Wan'er's costume to the appointment.Seeing him, I suddenly felt so wronged that I couldn't help but shed tears. Qin Yue accompanied me for a slow walk, and said softly for a long time: "The essence of being a man is not fame and wealth, but happiness. If you want to exchange happiness for some meager profits, it would be too stupid." "But that's not a meager profit, it's a whole house. Two bedrooms and one living room, if you buy it yourself, it will cost at least 80,000 to 90,000 yuan." I felt a little calm, so I told all my troubles.Once I said it, I felt that it was really trivial. Standing on the ancient city that lasted thousands of years, my confused gains and losses seemed so trivial and boring. Qin Yue said: "What you lose is mulberry elm, and what you gain is east fence. As long as you let go of your arms and concentrate on it, your future achievements will not stop at a house." "Why? Are you knowledgeable about the past and the present?" Qin Yue stared at me: "You really look like Wan'er when you put on this suit. As I said, I saw Wan'er once when she was a baby. Although she was just a baby at that time, she had pretty features and a perfect outline, and You look alike." I was stunned: "Really similar?" "Really." Qin Yue nodded heavily, "When Wan'er was born, Mrs. Zheng had a dream. She dreamed that a golden-armored god gave her a large scale. She recounted this dream to everyone, and there was The fortune teller realized that this indicated that she would give birth to a son who would be able to take charge of state affairs in the future and balance the talents of the government and the opposition. Later Wan'er was born, but she was a girl. Everyone said that the fortune teller was talking nonsense, but the fortune teller insisted , this baby girl looks masculine, what's more, the future achievements are immeasurable. He also said that Wan'er is destined to lead a Jiawu life. People have power over the world. At that time, there were no female officials in the Central Plains, so everyone thought it was ridiculous, and because he said 'few orphans, long widow', it was very unlucky, so they all accused him of nonsense. Wan'er's father, Shangguan Tingzhi, was furious at the time He ordered his family members to applaud the fortune teller, or Mr. Shangguan said that fortune telling by fortune tellers is nonsense, so let’s just listen to it for the time being. If you don’t believe it, why bother to get angry, let’s forget it. But Wan’er’s fate later proved that, The fortune teller's words came true one by one. If according to what he said, Wan'er's face is the appearance of a successful person, then, if you look like Wan'er, you will surely achieve great success in the future. Fame and fortune are just things in your pocket. It's just that gaining both fame and fortune doesn't necessarily mean good luck." I laughed: "I don't care. As long as I have both fame and fortune in front of me, I don't care about being alone in the future. Qin Yue, can you tell me some more stories about the Tang Dynasty? I like to hear those." Qin Yue smiled, pointed to the "Huangcheng Hotel" in the distance and said, "Did you see it? That is the location of Jingfengmen in the Tang Dynasty 1400 years ago; to the west of it is Duanlumen. During the Tang Dynasty, people from all walks of life passed by here. You have to get off your horse and stop, put on your clothes and hats, and then walk into the imperial city; the street opposite is called Tanshi Street, which is the busiest market in the imperial city." "I know about Tanshi Street. Bai Juyi, a great poet of the Tang Dynasty, wrote a poem about it. The title is "The Charcoal Seller." "Bai Juyi?" I remembered that it was a long time after Qin Yue died in battle.My ancient times are Qin Yue's future.But at this moment we are standing side by side, spanning ages and life and death, standing together on this thousand-year-old ancient city wall, pointing the country, how absurd, how beautiful, what a great love! I recited "The Charcoal Seller" to him, starting from "The Charcoal Seller, who cuts firewood and burns charcoal in Nanshan. His face is dusty and smoky, his temples are gray and his fingers are black..." until "a cart of charcoal, more than a thousand catties, The palace envoys will not regret it. Half a horse of red silk and one zhang of silk are tied to the bull's head to charge charcoal value." Qin Yue was angry: "Those palace officials are really abominable." He murmured and repeated, "'Where do you get the money from selling charcoal? You eat in your clothes. Poor clothes are bare, worrying about the cheapness of charcoal and wishing the weather cold .' Well written, very well written! The term 'resting in the mud outside the South Gate of the City' refers to the Yongning Gate of the South Gate, and 'Enter the car and scold the cow to lead the north' should be Back to Daming Palace." The wind blows unhindered over the top of the city, it is still bitter, but it is clean without a trace of peculiar smell. The city wall is the Taoyuan of Xi'an. When I got home, my mood was completely relaxed, and the depression of more than a month was swept away.I fill the tub with a generous amount of Amway Body Lotion until the foam is rich enough to drown me.When you have your own house in the future, the first thing you need to do is to choose a bathtub that is big enough. Perhaps, all the hard work and depression are just for this little bit of enjoyment. However, how much does a bathtub and a brand-name bath lotion cost?Is it worth exchanging self-esteem and pride?Moreover, if things go on like this, my house will definitely be useless.The editor-in-chief made a peachy rumor, hum! As Qin Yue said, the essence of life is not fame and wealth, but happiness.And I, shouldn't I be a person who is so stupid that I lose myself in exchange for fame and fortune. It's just a house, and I need to work so hard to get it?The most basic happiness and freedom I have lost is far more than this price. I decided to resign at this moment. Warm water kept flowing out of the hose, and I washed it comfortably, imagining the situation of expressing my feelings without any scruples after resignation, and yelled at the mirror: "Zhang Jinding, you shameless villain!" Then threatened with a grinning smile, "Wait and see, I'll make you look good!" The swear words that I usually dare not utter now poured out continuously, until I felt embarrassed. It's really boring to think about it, Zhang Jinding, today is life and death rivals, tomorrow meeting strangers may not recognize each other, just barely remember that they are acquaintances, nod and smile and pass by.Once you resign, there will be no more competition, no more intrigue and slander schemes, who will remember who Zhang is?There are so many villains in the rivers and lakes, how can there be so many unresolved grievances?It is also a flattery to remember him at all. I patted my chest and made a smile in the mirror.Don't hate, don't hate.I want to see the clear and bright sun in Xi'an. The next morning, I handed in my resignation letter to the editor-in-chief. The editor-in-chief was very surprised, but he didn't persuade me much. He just ordered the accounting department to settle my salary and ended the guest-host session.Perhaps, because of this, he believed even more that I made his rumors, and now he is ashamed to face it. I felt a little melancholy in my heart, and I didn't expect him to keep me back with tears in exchange, but after all the hard work, it's a bit cold after being defeated like this. I didn't go to Zhang Jinding again, there is no need for this person's name to appear in my life again.Maybe he'll be grinning behind his back for the sake of his plan, but I've decided not to care.There are so many villains in the rivers and lakes, how can there be so many unresolved grievances?It is also a flattery to remember him at all. The essence of life is to be happy.So why worry about those people and things that make you unhappy? At the end of the month, the second draft of Jiuwen’s script was released. The original contradiction centered on the chaotic politics between Empress Wu Zetian and Empress Wei, but now it has become a struggle for charm and power between the four women Empress Wu, Taiping, Wan’er, and Webster. I also changed from a small supporting role to the second heroine, and I was equal to the blue pigeon. Blue Pigeon was annoyed: "If I knew this, I shouldn't have let you participate." I laughed: "This is probably called luring wolves into the house and reaping the consequences, right?" Xia Jiuwen hurriedly gave Lan Gezi a reassurance: "If you want to make a good show, you have to have someone stand up to you, head-to-head, and then you can see your skills. In the original book, you are the only one who stands out. Although you are eye-catching, the characters are not full of personality and colorful. Monotonous. Now he and Shangguan Wan'er are on the same court, and the whole person is brighter, which will only add color, and will not divide the drama. Just like Tang Yan said, how could Emperor Wu's rouge empire not have a distinctive rouge general to protect the flowers? what?" After saying a few words, Blue Pigeon became happy. Xia Jiuwen turned to me again: "Your feeling is quite accurate, and your writing style is also elegant, why don't you cooperate with me to revise the script." I readily agreed, watching the characters in the play become plump little by little in my own pen, and am always amazed by myself. The most difficult thing to deal with is Wan'er's middle-aged image.In the last dynasty of Emperor Wu, no one could tell what role Shangguan Wan'er played and what a pivotal role she played in the rivalry among the various forces in the imperial court.Zhongzong Li Xian, Prime Minister Wu Sansi, and even Zhang's brothers, who rely on favor and power, all have a close relationship with her.At that time, she was no longer young, and there was still ink on her face that would never fade away, but she was still able to make men all over the world bow down to her skirts. Who could fully interpret such a scheming and demeanor?And how to make a conclusion? Nine Questions praised: "Shangguan Wan'er has a spirit in the sky, and she will definitely regard you as a confidant. But, I really dare not praise you anymore, you are already too proud." Pause, stare at me and add softly, "But you really have the capital to be proud of." I am silent.It's not that he doesn't understand his intentions.But how should I explain to him that I have already fallen in love with him? In fact, not only him, but several male actors in the crew have paid attention to me.There are new flowers on the desk every day, and the time and place of the appointment are written on the back of the pink business card.I didn't even look at it, just threw it into the wastebasket. I can't see other people with my eyes. In my heart, there is only Qin Yue. Compared with him, all the men in the world of mortals seem impetuous and superficial, not worth mentioning. His smile is more fragrant than all the flowers in the world blooming together. One night while watching the news, I suddenly heard a familiar voice. It was a reporter interviewing my former editor-in-chief for publishing false medical advertisements in a magazine. On the screen, the editor-in-chief was much haggard, with a panicked expression, as if he was an old man.He said helplessly, "I don't know much about the advertising department..." I suddenly remembered many, many past events, and I also remembered Zhang Jinding's tricks.In fact, how could the editor-in-chief know about the affairs of the editorial department?He is also one-hearted, encourages competition, strives for benefits, and requires all his subordinates to follow the direction he thinks is good.It's just that he didn't expect that those subordinates, for his request and for their own benefit, took too many unsatisfactory means, which misled him and themselves.During this process, how many people deviated from their original intentions and did many things that went against their original intentions? I was suddenly glad that I failed in the competition, because I was willing to fail, and I finally kept myself intact. It was only then that I realized that what Qin Yue taught me was truly golden words. I always thought that the people around me, including myself, were too complicated. They both wanted to compete for fame and profit, and they had to be smart enough to wrap their fame and fortune under a noble appearance. Qin Yue's world was simple. Pure and beautiful.Now I feel that Qin Yue is the one who is truly profound and has great wisdom, while we are actually shallow and vulgar, and achieve nothing. Since then, I have become more bearish on fame and fortune. Every day more calm, gentle, more like a woman, a classical, real woman. Usually I don't feel it, but once I put on the costume, the style and classical charm of the whole body are particularly revealed.My every move, every frown and smile, is in line with the identity of an ancient lady. The one wrapped in the beautiful clothes of Fengguan Xiapei is no longer a city girl living in the 21st century, but a 100% Tang Palace lady.She occupies a high position, under one person and above ten thousand people. She is bossy and obstinate. She, Shangguan Wan'er, a manipulator and victim of politics and power, has won supreme glory because of her outstanding talent, but because of this, she has forever lost the qualification to spend her life peacefully as an ordinary woman.She grew up in the deep palace's Yeting, the dark, lonely place where the criminals were exiled, symbolizing humiliation and humbleness. The memory of the cold childhood was engraved on her heart like a brand, even more severe than the ink on the forehead. Deeply clear and difficult to heal.And that brand mark is an internal injury, invisible. My heart skipped a beat. Childhood injuries are internal injuries.Isn't this what I say most often? I got lost in front of the golden hairpin, jade bracelet and Longtang Fengge. Lost between history and modernity, plot and reality. who am I?Who is Wan'er?How should I explain my coincident resemblance to her? There are suddenly more suitors around me, because of the mysterious and classic pure femininity in me. Blue Pigeon said: "Tang Yan, this is the first time I have met an opponent. But I am convinced of the defeat. Your temperament and character are indeed rare. No wonder all the male staff are crazy about you." I was surprised: "Where is it so exaggerated?" "Didn't you notice? Even when the director looks at you, his eyes are different from usual." I have always admired Blue Pigeon, thinking that she is the woman among women, the model of women, and the nemesis of men.She is proud, but not shallow.She regards herself as a star everywhere, and is very concerned about her status as a movie queen, but she is not unrestrained vicious expansion.On the contrary, she knows when to let it go, and when to restrain it appropriately, laughing and cursing just happen to be everywhere.This tactic used in movie star career and dealing with media hype works equally well when it is used on men—she treats everyone coldly, but only treats one person with sympathy; she ignores you for ten days in a row, but When I see you on the eleventh day, I smile like a flower.What kind of man can withstand such a challenge and temptation? I watched the men with the strongest self-esteem and the weakest emotions scrambling to bow down under her pomegranate skirt.Today, I actually heard her say that I have the ability to stand up to others, so I couldn't help laughing. When I got home, I asked Daier, "Have I behaved unusually recently?" Dai Er replied: "No, it's just that women in love are very gentle and happy." Just as I was talking, Ziqi came to visit and cheered when he saw me: "Tang Yan is getting more and more beautiful, and she is starting to look feminine." "I just bought a brand-name perfume." "Is that so?" Ziqi made a teaching gesture, "May I ask what perfume can dress people up so elegantly and with a classic charm?" My heart moved, and I just smiled, "The most valuable thing about being a tour guide is a mouth." "Not only that, but also a sincere heart!" "So, when do you plan to break your heart to Dai'er and make a formal proposal?" Ziqi was taken aback, and Dai'er hastened to turn on the TV, making noise to cover up Ziqi's silence. Day by day, I gradually got used to the life under the spotlight. I cried and laughed within a minute. I took off my white shirt and jeans and put on a pleated skirt with wide sleeves. I said "the emperor" and shut up "" Slaves and servants", it is completely unclear which is a play and which is real. Is Zhuang Sheng dreaming of a butterfly, or is a butterfly dreaming of Zhuang Zhou?Who can tell? Day and night are reversed at will.Shooting night scenes during the day and morning scenes at night, with one order, you can do whatever you want. But Del, she was getting more and more depressed and crying a lot. She didn't let me see her tears, but I knew she was crying.There was always a worry in her eyes.Only at the moment when she saw Ziqi, she would suddenly brighten up, her small and delicate face was as red as a glow; but as soon as Ziqi left, her whole body dimmed, as if all thoughts were lost. She is not willing to face me squarely.But even the back view made me feel her loneliness. One day while filming, Tang Yu suddenly called and said that Dai'er had offered to resign this morning. "why?" "Why?" Tang Yu was displeased, "Why do I still call you if I want to know why? I just want to ask you if you know why? Or are you people thinking of resigning as a fad, one or two thinking about resigning? " I'm innocent: "I really don't know. Del never told me anything." "You live with her without knowing?" "She spends more time with you than me every day. How can I know if you don't know? By the way, how are you and the coffee lady?" "You still mention her? We broke up a long time ago. Alas, the girls now don't know what's wrong, they're all clueless." "Hey, don't overturn a whole boat with a pole, okay?" "Ah, I forgot, you are also a woman, and you are a different woman, mother said." Tang Yu hung up the phone with a smile. I can't sit still anymore.Dai'er resigned, why didn't she mention such a big thing to me at all? In the afternoon, I deliberately went home early to wait for Dai'er to come back. However, Dai'er came back very late, with tears in the corners of her eyes.As soon as he entered the door, he hid in his room. I wondered, but it was inconvenient to ask more. At night, I vaguely heard crying from the next door, I tapped my finger on the wall: "Dai'er, what's wrong?" On the other side it was silent again. I suspected that I had heard it wrong, so I fell down and fell asleep again.But when Dai'er got up, there was the sound of light footsteps walking into the bathroom, and then the sound of closing the door, but the sound of uncontrollable retching came out intermittently. I couldn't bear it anymore, got up in my clothes, and knocked on the bathroom door: "Dai'er, it's me, are you okay?" "It's okay." But before Dai'er could finish speaking, there was another burst of earth-shattering retching.I didn't care about the taboo anymore, I pushed the door open and went in, only to see Dai'er kneeling barefoot in front of the toilet, with tears and snot on her face, she was in a mess.Probably because she was extremely tired, she went to bed without removing her makeup, but now she was woken up by physical discomfort, and her makeup, powder and lipstick melted into one piece, which was shocking. I was taken aback, and hurried forward to pull her up, waited on her to wash her face, half-dragged her, half-embraced her to lie down on the bed, and poured her another glass of warm water, then asked, "You vomit so badly, Do you want to go to the hospital?" "No need, I know what's wrong with me." Dai'er suddenly raised her head and looked at me. I also looked at her, waiting, like a game of bet waiting to be revealed. Dai'er said calmly, "Yan'er, I'm pregnant." "Pregnant?" I was shocked and speechless for a moment. "Yes. I have decided to resign. Tang Yu must be very angry. Can you apologize to him for me?" I shake my head.Tang Yu?How could he care about his feelings.I shook my head, just picked the most important thing and asked, "Does Ziqi know?" "I didn't tell him." "But isn't this his child?" "Yes, that's why I don't want him to know about trouble." "Then what do you plan to do? Or, I will accompany you to the hospital for surgery?" "No, I don't want surgery." "No surgery? Then you plan to..." "Go back to Taizhou. Give birth to the child." "Give birth? Will you give birth without a wedding?" Dai'er lowered her head, and after a while, she suddenly gritted her teeth and said with determination: "We can't get married, because Ziqi has already been married." "What?" I was so frightened that I suddenly stuttered, "Then you...Dai'er, when did you find out? He lied to you! He, he..." I didn't know what to say, but Dai'er interrupted me calmly: "No, he didn't lie to me. I already knew it when I was in Beijing." I put my hands on my head and couldn't help moaning. One accident after another made me almost scream.All kinds of new information kept overlapping and rolling in my mind, but I couldn't figure it out. Dai'er was pregnant!Del is resigning!Dai'er is going back to Taizhou to give birth!And the father of the child was already married! Gradually, all kinds of complicated thoughts recede into the background, and a concept emerges more and more clearly: Gao Ziqi is married!Gao Ziqi is a married man!Dai'er, she became someone else's mistress!The person outside of marriage!third party! third party.Only the Chinese can invent such a special and specific vocabulary: the third party is the extra product outside the world of two people.should not exist.Regardless of her reasons, her appearance was a mistake! I asked Dai'er weakly, "Then why did you come to Xi'an?" "I love him. Can you understand how I felt when I saw him for the first time? I thought, how can there be such a handsome man in the world? This is a god, a real god. Apollo seems to be resurrected But that's all." Dai'er's eyes were bright, as if they were bottomless.Now, there really is a soul living there, right? When Ziqi was mentioned, her whole body became a luminous body with dazzling beauty. "Later I started dating him. We chatted and corresponded online. Every word he said was so fresh and ironed, and it went straight to my heart. You know I have had many boyfriends. They come and go, I like some of them a little more, and some of them a little less, but it's different for children, I can no longer measure the weight of my feelings, because it even exceeds everything I have, even myself, I can't even imagine It turns out that I can love someone so deeply and thoroughly, he is my breath, my blood, my whole, the more he loves me, the more happiness I have, the less he loves me, the more happiness I have. Just a little bit less. But he's the only one who makes me happy, and I'm only happy when I see him, you understand?" I was almost shocked by Dai'er's passionate narration. I have known her for many years. I have never seen an old friend so passionate and heartbroken. The purity of her love made my heart tremble deeply. I couldn't help but tightly hug her shoulders. "But, you are not happy now, you are crying, sad, and getting thinner day by day, and you haven't really smiled happily for a long time. Come to an end, Dai'er, and be the carefree you again!" "If he can't give me pleasure, at least he can give me pain. But without him, then I will have no pain. I will lose all feelings and feelings, no different from the walking dead." “爱情不是这样的。它不应该这样。爱应该令人温暖，舒适，如沐春风，令孤独的心安慰，令飘泊的心宁定，令燥动的心充实。” “我羡慕你描述的那样的爱情境界，可是也许我不配拥有。”黛儿说，“而且，我理解的爱情不是这样的，我心中的爱，要有所遗憾，有所痛苦，有相约不至的失落，不能圆满的怅恨。它不仅仅是甜蜜的，更是痛苦的，不仅仅有浪漫，还要有伤害，甚至残酷。要经过血与泪的洗礼，然后血肉相连。只有这样，爱才是圆满的，深刻的，像夜空般深遂长河般辽阔。” 畅谈着理想爱情的黛儿，又变成了那只充满渴望的鲸鱼，以飞蛾扑火的姿态诉说着她的绝灭的爱情。 “艳儿，除了爱，再没有一个字可以解释我对子期的感情，自认识他以后，我对爱情的理解就只剩下这唯一的一种。那就是爱他，不论他已婚，未婚，甚至无论他爱不爱我。” “但是你有理由选择更美丽的爱情，为什么要放弃这种权利？” “爱需要理由吗？不，我不要权利，我只要子期。婚姻只是一种形式，而爱情是一种境界，只是爱情本身。这世上有一个他，有一个我，而我又见到他，这已足够。” I am speechless. 这是我认得的黛儿吗？是那个烟视媚行睥呢一切视爱情如游戏声明要找一个天下最聪明博学却独独为她而傻的黛儿吗？难怪这段日子黛儿越来越长久地陷入忧郁，而高子期越来越频繁地带团出差。 ——原来出门是假，回家才是真。 我苦劝黛儿：“一段不完整而没有结果的爱情，值得这样誓死捍卫吗？你明知这感情是一个骗局，何必……” “他没有骗我。况且，即使他骗我，我也愿意被骗，只求能被他欺骗得更长久一些，最好一生一世。”黛儿擦干眼泪，以一种我从未见过的坚决向我宣布，“艳儿，你是我最好的朋友，唯一的好朋友，我很尊重你也珍惜你。但是请你不要再诋毁子期吧，否则，我会同你一刀两断！” “黛儿……” “艳儿，请你尊重我的抉择！” 话说到这个份上已经没办法再继续下去。我总不能按着她的头去洗脑。我亦不能代替她去活。 我只有沉默。 最悲哀最无奈最沉重的沉默！ 沉默地看着自己的至友一步步走向错误，走向毁灭。 黛儿就像一个练气功练得走火入魔的盲目而热情的信徒，对着她自以为完美辉煌的神祗顶礼膜拜，毫不置疑。他已经是她的空气，她呼吸着他而生存，并且偏执地将他的影子，一点一滴地刻进她的生命，渗入她每一寸肌肤每一滴血。 她已不可救药。 It's been a sleepless night. 我们一直在流泪，黛儿的泪，和我的泪。我们用泪水把长夜浸得湿漉漉的，然而最终谁也不能说服谁。黛儿声称自己宁可死也不会放弃对高子期的爱情。而她诚挚的剖白无论多么热烈伟大，亦不能得到我的祝福。 但是我仍然主动提出，愿意陪她一起回台州，实在是，我不放心让黛儿在这种情况下一个人长途跋涉。 恰好剧组正准备到洛阳拍外景，正在做前期准备，一时没有通告。我带着黛儿一同去向导演请假。 导演看到黛儿，大叫遗憾：“这样的美女，唐艳怎么没有介绍到剧组里来？”欣然允诺。 美丽从来都是美女无往不利的通行证。 立刻便有男同事向我打听：“陈小姐家境如何？” 我一愣：“问这个做什么？” 男同事实话实说，丝毫不以为忤：“想追求她呀。可是追求美女是非常破费的一件事，如果自己备有妆奁呢，那又不同，真正'财'貌双全，一旦投资成功，无异一本万利。” 我诧异：“不是过程才是最重要的吗？” 周围几位男士一齐绝倒：“唐艳，我们以为你已经大学毕业了。” 哦大学。我黯然，想起大学时代为了黛儿前仆后继的众多才子，忽觉十分怀念，至少，他们曾经付出真诚，当他们追求热恋之际，想要的只是爱情本身，而不带任何附加条件。如今出得校门，一步踏入软红十丈，仿佛处处陷阱，竟再没有人为了爱情而爱情，“雪孩子”和“小王子”的故事，都已成隔世传说。 我对黛儿说：“不知何培意现在怎么样了？” “怎么忽然提起他来？” “我怀念当年他的那种纯真。” 黛儿做一个果不出我之所料的表情：“看，我一早说你对他有特殊好感，当时又不肯承认。” 我气结。这榆木脑袋十年不变，对待异性除了喜欢就是不喜欢，再不懂得什么叫欣赏尊重。或许正是这一点固执害惨了她。 走的前一天，我同黛儿去八仙庵祈福。 进门迎面一座石桥，雕着舒展的云朵，云舒云卷，桥在架在半空中了，因此唤作“遇仙桥”——传说道教全真派创始人王重阳便是于此遇吕洞宾传授“五篇灵文”而得道。 桥栏上雕着的小和尚头光光的，不知是雕磨材料特殊，还是被游人的手把摩的。桥拱起，月洞处悬着一枚天圆地方的巨制铜钱，方孔中又系一铜钟。参佛的人隔了桥栏杆向钱钟投掷硬币，如果击中铜钱，便是与道有缘，可得天助，若敲得钟响，更不得了，有个名堂叫做“钟响兆福”，据说最灵不过的。 我们两个停了步，翻遍手袋好容易寻出两枚硬币，黛儿问我：“求什么？” 我反而愣住，一心要来求福，可到底怎么才算是“福”呢？名成？利就？我早已学会尽人心而从天命，不愿强求。那该求什么呢？与秦钺终成美眷？我明知那是不可能的。 一直劝黛儿理智，不要为了没有结果的感情伤心。可是，黛儿同子期的爱情没有结果，我和秦钺难道会有结果吗？黛儿倾心的，至少还是一个真实具体的人，我的所爱，却是一个不容于现世的鬼。这一份感情，岂非更加惊世骇俗？ 沉思良久，我只得苦苦一笑：“求平安吧。你呢？” 黛儿叹息：“我求……子期爱我多一天。”