Chapter 9 Stop her!

Dai'er didn't notify her family in advance. When she arrived in Taizhou, her parents were overjoyed to see us, and they didn't know how to pamper her. Aunt Chen hugged her daughter and wept bitterly. She kept saying, "I hear you crying next door in my dreams at night. I'm afraid you'll be hungry." Dai Er laughed: "I haven't cried in the middle of the night for 20 years!" I smiled. The elders are eager for a girl, and they always confuse time and space involuntarily. They wish that their daughter will always be a three-year-old girl, with arms around her shoulders, crying for help when they don't see their parents for a while.

Dai'er's parents are typical southern characters, with a slightly exaggerated enthusiasm, but they are very considerate. When they dote on their daughter, they never forget to greet and take care of me, and they are very attentive.He also said: "Your uncle fell ill again, and he called the day before yesterday to say he missed you, why don't you go and see him." Dai Er was lazy and uninterested.Seeing Aunt Chen's disappointed and embarrassed face, I hurriedly persuaded her: "Go, maybe I can find out about Miss Chen's story from my uncle." Then Dai'er agreed to visit.

Aunt Chen looked at me approvingly, nodded and said, "How could my parents give birth to such a sensible and well-behaved daughter? But my daughter is still disobedient in her twenties." Dai'er only grinned, and treated her parents as if she were her boyfriend, sticking to her body like candy, hugging and kissing, rubbing against each other, her body language never tires of her.Aunt Chen pushed and reprimanded: "You're still acting like a baby at such an age, and you're not afraid of being laughed at by others?" But the look in Dai'er's eyes was full of pampering and connivance.

I can't help but smile wryly.What's the use of being obedient and well-behaved?If my biological parents were by my side, I would rather be a naughty, retarded bastard and be beaten by my father every day. Dai'er's bedroom is small and crowded, with a kind of excessive delicacy. All the bed and utensils are woven with brocade and embroidered flowers. The lotus-shaped gauze tent is like a poem and a dream. I don't want to throw away all kinds of plush dolls, so I made a special cabinet for storage. There are always dozens of perfume bottles on the dressing table. It can be seen at a glance that the owner of this room is a charming princess who grew up and was loved.

Unlike me, the decoration of the room has no personality at all, and the change of the quilt cover has to be decided by my mother, so I have to move out as soon as I graduate and have the financial ability, so that I have the right to add a cute little decoration or two to myself. Dai'er didn't notify her of her return date in advance, but her room was still clean and spotless, and it was obvious that the mother would clean it every day even if her daughter was not at home.It reminds me of Lecturer Tang's home. I just moved out for a week, and my brother has been busy filling it with groceries.

In the evening, I slept with Dai'er and had a conversation: "When are you going to tell your parents the truth?" "When it has to be said." Dai'er had her own opinion, "At that time, the deal is done, and they will not object to the birth of my child." I don't think so.It is cruel to use the love of parents to force them to submit like this.But other than that, there seems to be no better way.Only let her take one step at a time. In the afternoon of the next day, Dai'er took some Xi'an specialties with me to visit her uncle. Uncle was much more embarrassed than imagined, old and haggard, he had to pant for a long time every time he said a word, his throat was filled with phlegm.Ordinarily he was a few years younger than Dai'er's grandfather, but he looked more than ten years older. It is said that he suffered a lot during the "Cultural Revolution".He has always been at odds with Dai'er's grandfather, and he is still aggrieved when he mentions it, and every sentence is an exclamation sentence.

"Your grandpa is a villain!" He announced to Dai'er like this, "cough cough, I shouldn't speak ill of him in front of the juniors, he is really hateful! Cough cough, he has no good intentions in marrying my sister! Cough cough, He killed my eldest sister! Cough, he played a good show to force my father to marry my younger sister to him! Cough, he cheated our family of money!" My uncle is an octogenarian, but his temper is still violent. Before he can say a few words, his face turns red and he coughs profusely. Aunt Biao hurriedly came over to pat and persuade us politely, and looked at us with a lot of blame.

I couldn't help being embarrassed, but Dai'er was still not reconciled, and asked urgently: "How did he force the grandfather to marry the little grandma to him? How did he cheat the money?" Aunt Biao hurriedly stopped: "Dad, don't talk, be careful of choking." I was even more ashamed. I didn't care that I was just a guest of a guest, so I said first: "Uncle, take care, let's go first." Dai'er wanted to ask again, but I couldn't bear it any longer, so I dragged her away.Uncle coughed and waved his hands: "Come early tomorrow, cough cough, I will tell you about the bad things your grandpa did! Cough cough, he is trying to steal my property, cough cough cough..."

After going out, Dai'er was still thinking: "Let's go tomorrow, we must find out the truth of this story." I quickly waved my hands: "I want to go to you, I dare not go again." "Don't you want to know the truth of the story?" "I think so, but I'm afraid your cousin will beat me out with a stick." However, even if I dared to go, I would never have the chance to hear my uncle explain the mystery to us—he had an asthma attack that night, and he died after only struggling for a few hours. He left us forever with an unfinished story .

Dai'er and I were both inexplicably heavy, and vaguely felt that our uncle's death had something to do with us.If it hadn't been for asking about the past that touched his memory and pain, maybe my uncle wouldn't have passed away suddenly? But on the other hand, we are even more curious, what is the unfinished story like? On the day of my uncle's burial, it was a cloudy and rainy day. The rain was not heavy, but it never stopped, as if the sky had leaked. The Chen family is a big family, and there are thousands of people attending the funeral.Dai'er's grandparents from Hong Kong didn't come, of course, but they wired a sum of money, and the attached letter said that my uncle had been misunderstanding with them all along, and I'm afraid he wouldn't want to see them.

The uncle and aunt crumpled up the letter and threw it away, but the gift money was well received—this is modern people, love returns to love, money returns to money, and there is a clear distinction between likes and hates. Uncle is different. Uncle is an old-fashioned character, with too much love and hatred, but now these love and hatred have gone with him. I think I will never know what kind of entanglement he had with Dai'er's grandfather, and I will never know how Miss Chen died, and why my little grandmother married my grandfather... But I can't forget this story. Ever since I found that anecdote in an old newspaper in the attic of the Chen family that afternoon in Hong Kong, I can't forget it anymore. Days of rain prevented many people from returning home. Uncle’s relatives and friends came a lot. Those relatives were so bored that they could only visit from house to house. Most of them were old people—only old people have the leisure time to visit relatives. Friends, why don't young people rush to scour souvenir shops to pick up bargains? And Daier and I are a pair of lazy people, we would rather hide at home and read a book than wander around in the mud.The tinkling sound of the rain beating on the windowpane and the voice of Daier reading fairy tales aloud are the most beautiful music in the world to my ears, where there is a kind of heavenly tranquility and purity. "The little mermaid asked, 'Will they live forever? Will they die like us who live in the sea?' "The old hag said, 'That's right. They die too, and live shorter lives than we do. We can live to be 300 years old, but when our lives here are over, we're just foam on the water. , not even a grave for those we love and those who love us. We don't have an immortal soul, we never get a life after death. We are like the green seaweed, as long as one Cut off and never green again! On the contrary, human beings have a soul, which lives endlessly, even when the body turns to dust, it is still alive. It rises to the clear sky, and rises to the shining stars !They can blow a cool breeze, they can spread the fragrance of flowers in the air, and they can spread a good and cheerful spirit everywhere.'” My heart skipped a beat.These words seem to be what Qin Yue said. At this time, there was a knock on the door outside. Dai Er was excited to read, so I went to open the door. The person standing in the rain with a black oiled paper umbrella surprised me, and I almost suspected that the old witch in Dai's children's tales had come into reality—the old man was wearing a black Tang suit with trousers and jacket, which was said to be very old in the past. The exquisite material and style, but now it looks like it has been turned out of the tomb, and her whole face has been wrinkled into an air-dried black date, and when she opens her mouth, she can directly see the bare gum flesh.That is hardly a person anymore, but just a specimen of a person who is still breathing. I was so shaken that I didn't know how to react for a long time, and I didn't calm down until the boy who helped the old witch—oh, no old grandmother slapped me, and then I noticed that there was a fashionable boy with red hair beside the old grandmother.This is the cute Taibao in the real world! I was terrified, and I smiled: "Whom do I look for?" The young man explained: "This is my mother-in-law. She used to work at your grandfather's house. She said she saw the birth of three generations of your family. The old man misses the old days, so he insisted on seeing the third generation Miss Chen." Dai'er had already heard the sound and came out, and said with a smile: "I misunderstood the person, I am the eldest lady of the Chen family, and this is my guest." The old grandmother pushed her great-grandson: "Call me aunt." Dai'er immediately refused: "Call me sister, it's fine to call me sister." The old grandmother shook her head: "The generation is wrong." Dai'er insisted: "It's okay, you count as yours, and we count as ours." I laughed, Dai'er was afraid of being called old.He is only in his twenties, and he is already so afraid of getting old, and he doesn't know what it will be like in the next ten or twenty years. But Daier has her own answer, and she has already made a grand ambition: "I don't want to live so long. Confucius said: Old but not dead is a thief. I must be a young erotic ghost, so that life ends at the most beautiful moment. .” The boy was very well-behaved, and immediately said: "Actually, it's hard to call me elder sister. You look younger than me. Why don't we call each other by our names?" I am even more funny, this little sycophant is better than me at seeing people's eyes, so I might as well compare them when I have a chance in the future. Dai'er giggled: "What a brother, come on, how about I teach you how to play video games?" The boy jumped up immediately: "You teach me? Maybe I can be your master." I knew that Dai'er was impatient to greet the old man, so she had no choice but to turn to the guest, make tea and give up her seat, and then sit down and gossip with the old man. The old man's speech and hearing are already poor, but his memory is amazing, and he can even remember clearly the furniture in the lobby of the Chen family. Suddenly, my mind lit up, and I remembered a very important question, and I quickly asked, "Does grandma know the story about Dai'er's grandfather and two grandmothers?" The old grandma was taken aback for a moment, then narrowed her eyes and looked at me. I was suddenly hot, short of breath, and thirsty in my throat. You know how nervous I was at this moment, for fear that she would tell me: "Well, I don't know." But she finally said: "Yes, I know, I know know better than anyone else.” I almost cheered and called Dai'er: "Come on! Grandma said she knew about Miss Chen!" "Really?" Dai'er jumped up, "Speak quickly. Oh no, speak slowly, grandma, do you want some water?" I squinted at her, I was busy at this time, why did I hide in the back room just now? The old grandmother narrowed her eyes, and looked at Dai'er carefully again. After a while, she murmured, "Like, really like!" I knew she was saying that Dai'er looked like Miss Chen, but I didn't dare to interrupt. Dai'er couldn't wait any longer, and asked anxiously, "How did my grandpa break up with my eldest grandma? How did he marry my youngest grandma? How much do you know?" "I know, I know everything." The old grandmother opened her toothless mouth, and every word seemed to condemn: "Your grandfather is not a good person. He seduced the eldest lady to make her pregnant, and when something happened, he abandoned her and ran away. The eldest lady secretly Find someone to have an abortion, and end up dying in the countryside, one dead body and two lives!" I just felt a "buzz" in my head, as if I was taken out of my mind. It turned out that the poignant and beautiful love classic in my mind was so bloody and cruel! In the dimness, I heard the old grandmother continue to say: "After the death of the young lady, the master felt ashamed, and only said to the outside world that his daughter fell ill. When your grandfather saw the newspaper, he ran back to the funeral, and performed a good show of crying." I heard the flaw, and asked almost angrily: "Since Dai'er's grandfather has abandoned Miss Chen and ran away, why did he come back and cry?" "That's for making money!" The old grandmother was a little excited, but her tone was still calm—an old man who has seen through the truth of life and death, 80 years of experience is worth the wisdom of thousands of books—"He is a slutty man, seducing the young lady Yuan had no sincerity, and only regarded her as an ordinary peasant girl. It was not until something happened that he learned from the newspaper that the eldest lady's background was so remarkable. My head is still recuperating at the Chen family." The more I listened, the more frightened I became, and I felt cold all over.I would rather all this is not true, I would rather this witchy old man had not come, I would rather I had not asked this question, I would even wish to push this uninvited old grandmother out of the door immediately, so as not to hear the more terrible truth.But it was too late, I heard Dai'er's voice asking: "Then why is the grandfather willing to remarry the little grandma to him, and the little grandma voluntarily agreed to this marriage?" "The reason why he moved into Chen's house was for the second lady. The second lady is not a cheap lamp. She and the eldest lady have completely different temperaments, and they want to compete with men. What she is most dissatisfied with is that the master gave away most of the family property. They are all recorded in the name of her son, and she is determined to find someone to join her in robbing her brother's property. She has already seen through your grandfather's intentions, but admires his scheming methods. To marry her elder sister, your grandfather threatened the master with the matter of the young lady's loss of virginity, saying that if he doesn't agree, the whole world will know about it. They lost a piece of their family property and let them go on their own." The sky outside the house gradually dimmed, but the endless sound of rain still pattered clearly on the window.The lights in the room were not turned on, and the old grandmother's narration lingered in the room like a mantra, like moths flapping their wings, making people's hearts tremble.The old man talked for so long, but she didn't feel tired at all. There seemed to be a magical power in talking about other people's past, which could make her more energetic as she spoke.Poor me, but I am shrinking more and more. I wish I could plug my ears, but I can't help but listen to her. "He was angry that the second lady had no means to make him rich, so in the name of missing the eldest lady, he intentionally made the second lady a continuation to humiliate her. After the master died, the second lady found a relationship and moved to Hong Kong. Before leaving, she lied to her brother. Said to help him bring money there first, and then get my brother there, but there was no movement as soon as he left. You know, it was very difficult to get a ferry ticket to Hong Kong at that time, didn't even the young master stay?" Dai'er interrupted: "Master?" "It's your father." Dai'er smiled wryly, as if she was not used to hearing someone call her father the young master. "However, grandpa and grandma have lived together for fifty years, and they celebrated their golden wedding not long ago. After all, they have some real feelings, right?" "True feelings?" The old man smiled disdainfully, "What kind of true feelings would someone like your grandfather have? Even the second young lady is also a ruthless person. They partnered to cheat the uncle, that is, your uncle's money, and made a fortune. But I don't miss the old love at all. During the 'Cultural Revolution', the uncle's family was so poor that they almost didn't go to beg for food. They finally entrusted a relationship to send a letter to Hong Kong to ask the second lady for help, but the second lady ignored it. You also evaded it because your grandfather didn't allow it. In fact, everyone knew it like Ming Jing'er. At that time, although men were in charge, the second lady was very scheming. No matter what she did, she insisted that two people sign it. This is the case in the mainland, and it will be the same after coming to Hong Kong. The two of them have always been wary of each other and hate each other, but they can never break up. This is the reason..." My whole mind was sucked in by her narration, sucked in, sucked into the unknown past.But at this time, a strange voice sounded from behind, sonorous and ear-piercing, forcibly breaking me out of the samsara of sin.It took me a long time to figure out that it was that fashionable boy who was sitting in front of the computer playing video games by himself.I gathered myself together, grasped a doubtful point and asked unwillingly: "But how do you know all this? How can you understand the master's affairs in such detail?" The old man laughed bitterly, and his laughter was full of resentment: "He told me himself on the pillow after drinking—I, too, was the one who was harmed by him!" "Peng!" The magnificent and illusory mirage in my heart exploded, the sky collapsed and the ground sank, countless dust and smoke flew up from the ruins, dancing enchantingly in the beam of light, struggling desperately. Cold ashes. I deeply regret and regret knowing the truth of the story. Looking back at Dai'er, her face had completely faded to pale, without a trace of blood, as if her soul had been emptied. This whole afternoon, we faced each other in silence, without a word of dialogue. I suddenly remembered the "ghost market" I visited when I was a child and found out that it was a market for thieves. How can I believe that the truth of the perfect love story in my heart is so ugly and cruel? That night, that Miss Chen in white came again, and this time, I already knew who the baby in her arms was.I asked her in my dream: "What are you going to tell me?" "Stop her!" "Who? Who do you want me to stop?" "Stop her! Stop her!" She repeated hoarsely, making a voice of resentment that can only be found in hell, staring at me gradually approaching, the face became clearer and clearer, it was, it was—— Dai'er! I yelled and woke up.Dai'er was startled awake, and asked in a daze, "What's wrong with you?" "I dreamed of you...oh, no, I dreamed of Miss Chen." I sat up, "Dai'er, do you really look like your grandma?" "How would I know?" Dai'er also sat up, unable to fall asleep, she simply turned on the light and lit a cigarette, took a puff but then extinguished it. "I dreamed of Miss Chen just now. She looks exactly like you, and she holds a child in her arms." "Child?" Dai'er was slightly taken aback, then suddenly looked at me and said, "Yan'er, I have a feeling that I am Miss Chen, and Miss Chen is me, and I am following the path she walked step by step. Go forward, knowing that there is a trap, but can't stop." "Yes, why not?" I sat down and held Dai'er's hand, "You are your own master, no one can control your destiny except yourself. Stop, Dai'er, don't go any further You and Ziqi will have no results, forget about him, you can start over again, you can live happily and freely, just like in the past." "Impossible," Dai'er shook her head sadly, "Impossible Yan'er, I am not the same anymore, this relationship has changed me, and I will never go back to the past. I love Ziqi, no I'd rather die for his love. I can't stop. Remember the story of the red shoes? I've put on the devil's red shoes. Unless I die, I'll keep dancing, for, what you call no result love. In fact, the result of love is the same as the process of love, they are just love itself.” "Would you like to stop even though you know it's wrong?" "Wrong?" Dai'er suddenly smiled, "Have I been right before?" I was choked, speechless.I have always complained that many people can love again and again, persevere, and persevere, but Dudu Daier is so pitiful. If she makes a mistake once, she will make the mistake to the end.But at this moment, I remembered that Dai'er was not a good man and a believer before that. She was also a butterfly who had read all the flowers, but she just restrained her wings on a thorn. Is it to complete the red rose dyed with painstaking efforts?Finish it, then dump it in the gutter, and let the horse's hooves crush it into mud? Dai'er stared at me, with hopeless enthusiasm and persistence in her eyes: "Yan'er, I think this is the best time I have done, because this time I am real. Besides, even if it is wrong, it is not always true. Everyone has a chance to make mistakes, not every love has a good result, spending the full moon is a state, is it not without complaints and regrets? I love Ziqi, no matter how the world evaluates it, and no matter how it ends tomorrow, I I only know that if I have the ability to love him for a day, I will maintain this love for a day. While I am young, while I can afford to be wrong, even if I have never done anything right in this life, and I have spent my whole life empty, then at least I will If I miss this time, I will be wrong to the end, I am willing." I sighed, "Dai'er, I almost can't understand what you say." Dai'er was always joking and seldom spoke seriously.Recently, I have suddenly become serious. It is a big reason to be immobile. I am still a little used to it. Daier said: "You don't have to understand. Because I don't understand myself anymore. Even I am no longer myself, but just a slave of love." I wanted to persuade her again, but Dai'er had already closed her eyes and refused to talk any more. In the dark, I stared at Dai'er's face, and there was a baby-like purity on her sleeping face. I suddenly didn't want to persuade her anymore. There are too few people in this world who are willing to believe in love and pay for love. Whether right or wrong, Dai'er is undoubtedly a rare woman who dares to love and hate. The flash of light and the steady flow of water are both love, but the two cannot coexist. As for Dai'er, she is a moth to the flame, and also a unwilling whale. She would rather be burned to ashes in the fire than eternally yearn in the stream. The next day, the film crew called and asked me to report directly to Luoyang. Del took me to the station, and as I passed the garden, I smelled the fragrance of lilacs.A gust of wind blows, and the pieces fly down, bright red and scattered, like a mood eager to confess. I thought too much, and it turned into tears—red, tears of lovesickness. Dai'er sighed: "Do you still remember the 'eye-catching' dish?" Lovesickness is only on the clove branches and cardamom tips." In fact, lovesickness is not only on the clove branches and cardamom tips? It’s everywhere, it’s with life.” That was actually the last word Dai Er said to me in her lifetime. Dai'er stood timidly in the setting sun, her hair was curled, with a golden halo inlaid on it, showing a kind of flowing and sparkling beauty.But her eyes, which were always radiant, were full of tears, and lost the crystal clearness of the past. It is still embroidered clothes, wide skirts, slender high-heeled shoes, covered with white gauze, on the left wrist is my magpie branch wrapped with silk gold bracelet, on the right wrist is a string of seven Ding Ding Dangdang. The cloisonné gold-painted thin bracelet. Such lively attire, but it only looks desolate and cold for no reason. And her hand was even colder, grabbing my hand, and couldn't bear to let go. That scene is still engraved in my memory many years later, more deeply and clearly than what I witnessed at the time.Dai'er standing in the sunset has since become eternity, a kind of lingering and painful eternity in the deepest part of my memory, with the fragrance of lilac flowers in early spring, entangled with me for the rest of my life. Until the train drove away, I still couldn't help looking back frequently. The lilac is far away, and the setting sun is also far away, like a long shot, gradually fading away. Finally the train turned a corner and there was nothing to see. My face was icy cold, and tears were falling in the wind.