Chapter 12 betray

Tianchi is also very confused, she knows that her memory has not been fully recovered, and there are still many important details in her life that she can't remember, but she no longer cares about it, as if she wanted to forget it. She even wished that she could forget all her emotions and desires, and never have any more joys, sorrows and joys—she almost did it, not shedding tears for anything, not being happy for anyone, but she couldn't help but worry about Lao Cheng, after all, he was already her fiance. She complained to Xiangru: "I really can't do anything to make him happy."

Xiangru doesn't even care: "Men are never happy, they don't think about anything, they don't like anything, and they will do right with themselves and the whole world." "But if it's because of me..." "It's not because of anyone. Every man hides an emperor in his heart, but he can only be a eunuch in his life. How can he be happy? Actually, it has nothing to do with women." Tianchi couldn't help laughing when he heard this strange talk: "Your theories are really one set, not only you have experience in writing, you also seem to be very insightful about men's psychology."

The conversation ended here, and then they continued to discuss their creative experience. Both of them are people who have lost their love genes in the ocean of memory. Tianchi continued to work day and night, creating romantic affairs on the keyboard that had nothing to do with him.When I used to write, my heart was full of emotion, but I only used it for writing letters, a lot of letters that could not be sent; now I completely forget what love is, but suddenly the bystanders become clear, and a wonderful pen is full of flowers, writing all the emotions and desires in the world. If a woman can get rid of love, she can have perseverance and motivation far beyond ordinary people, and focus on her career or other things.

Whether it is a woman, or a woman's soul. Occasionally, she raised her head from the sea of ​​Wenshan manuscripts, and she couldn't help thinking: her friend Chen'er came back, and seeing how reborn she is today, how does she feel? The distant mountains are emerald, the wind is calm and the sea is calm. At this time, Lu Chen'er and He Hao are boating on the Erhai Lake, looking at Cangshan Mountain, and enjoying the magnificence of nature. The first draft of the sample has been negotiated, just wait for the two parties to sign the contract, and then they can successfully classify.So this weekend, the two took a rare break from their busy schedules and went to Cangshan and Erhai to complete the long-awaited getaway.

The Erhai Lake is indeed beautiful. There is always a hazy layer of fog on the water surface. Occasionally, there are a few small islands dotted in it, like Yaotai more than the world, which makes people feel unreal.Chen'er couldn't help admiring: "It's a beautiful day, but what a day." He Hao sat across from her and said casually: "Xanadu, the couple of gods and immortals." Chen'er's face blushed, it was hard to admit or refute, so she had to pretend she didn't hear, not distinguishing between joy and sorrow, neither anger nor anger.I don't know why, but in private, they still behave according to the rules, but when they are in front of people, they are always slick, pretending to be intimate, so that all the people on the boat think that they are newlyweds on their honeymoon.

This is an ordinary cruise ship, the kind that carries passengers on the river bank every day. The tourists are temporary groups. It has been built for a century to cross the same boat. It is very friendly and enthusiastic-most people who are willing to spend money to travel are well-fed and rich. There is also a family of idlers, like birds of a feather flock together, the atmosphere is not difficult to be lively, and when they are worried about the topic, they will make a fuss. When they see He Hao and Chen'er who are like golden boys and girls, they will joke a few words and make some vulgar jokes, as if they can get in touch with each other. A little joy.He Hao didn't explain on purpose, instead he grinned and joked with the guests back and forth, as if enjoying the misunderstanding.

Chen'er couldn't get angry, she couldn't tell everyone in the prison that "we are not a couple", so she just kept her mouth shut, smiled and nodded.Because his hair was blown to and fro by the wind, he pretended to look in the mirror and was busy with himself. However, he couldn't hear He Hao's voice for a while, but he was curious about what he was doing at this time, and quietly turned the mirror towards him. Turning aside, unexpectedly he was looking at himself, the eyes of the two collided in the mirror, and they couldn't help laughing. This smile seemed to be a kind of silent reconciliation, and also like her encouragement to him, He Hao sat down by the way, leaned over her ear and said, "It's so beautiful, isn't it?"

She didn't know whether he praised the scenery or her when he said "beautiful", she couldn't nod or shake her head, so she had to smile again. They came to the deck and watched the ship break through the water and turn the river upside down.The water is green and the mountains are green. Facing the sea breeze, Chen'er tore off the silk scarf that tied her hair, and her long hair immediately flew away. She brushed her hair casually, revealing her beautiful figure. He Hao's mind fluttered for a while, just such a simple gesture, made by her, has thousands of styles.He looked at her fascinated, fascinated; but she was flustered in his eyes.

At that moment, the boat docked at Nanzhao Island, and tourists disembarked one after another. Chen'er was anxious to avoid He Hao, but she stumbled when she got off the ladder and almost fell down. .He Hao smiled softly in her ear: "Are you afraid of what will happen?" He led her off the boat without any intention of letting go. Chen'er felt warm in her heart, and felt indescribably comfortable being held by him with her right hand - how long has it been since she experienced such a heart-beating feeling?Unexpectedly, she remembered the sentence she read in a magazine: "If you love someone, you will know the moment you hold her hand."

So do you know now?Her hand was in his, as if it had grown there, tightly fitting without leaving any gaps; but it didn't look like Xu Feng holding his hand, although it was very familiar and natural, it was boring.If that greed is not love, it would be too hypocritical, right? The waves of the Erhai Lake gently lapped against the shore of the island, and the leaves of a century-old tree babbled in the wind the story of a century ago. Chen'er and He Hao kept holding hands and did not let go, nor did they speak, they just walked slowly. Walking along the coast, my heart is filled with joy, growing every minute.So happy, as happy as this dreamlike Cangshan Mountain and Erhai Lake, which has a sense of unreality.

It was Chen'er who spoke first, as if asking why, but also as if talking to himself: "Where are you going?" "It doesn't matter where you go." He Hao said indifferently, "Having a plan for everything is equivalent to doing nothing." Chen'er laughed: "No matter what you say makes sense or not, you always have so many reasons." There was music coming from afar, and the two danced lightly on the beach. Chen'er raised her head and smiled brightly.After becoming a wife, I have rarely been this happy sometimes.At this moment, she hopes that she can retreat to the island with He Hao, and never have to return to the world. However, the sound of the flute sounded ignorant of the current affairs. It was the captain urging the tourists to return to the voyage. Chen'er was a little distressed, and murmured: "It's time to go back." He Hao had another idea: "When I passed the road sign just now, I saw private houses for rent on the other side of the island. The night on the island must be very special. Anyway, Kunming doesn't start working until Monday, so it won't be too late to go back tomorrow." Seeing Chen'er's eagerness to try and his uneasy expression, he stepped up and said, "Don't worry, although I'm not Liu Xiahui, I'm not a pervert either. I won't consider it unless you ask me." Chen'er hit him casually, but she acquiesced.It's just a night of pillowing and listening to the waves. It's not a fault, is it?After running around for too long, working hard for too long, and being depressed for too long, she really needs a time to relax, even if it's just to appease her restless heart. In He Hao's eyes, her hesitant look made her look very small, which made him feel pity.He never felt that she was the boss and that she was married.In some ways, she is more innocent than a college student, and her experience is far from being obtained by being "married". Apart from the paper of marriage, even Xiao Su is more sophisticated than her. Maybe if you like someone, it's easy to think of her as stupider than she really is, but He Hao stubbornly believes that Chen'er is different. She is simple, but not simple-minded; she is mature, but not sophisticated; the most important thing is , she never pretended to be innocent. The time he worked with Chen'er was not too short, and he used to just admire and admire him, but this unexpected visit to the fairyland made his mind suddenly see light and flourish.Lu Chen'er, who left the company, is no longer the dignified, beautiful, shrewd and capable female boss she used to be, but just a voluptuous scenery with a strange temptation. As soon as she appeared on the boat, she attracted everyone's attention and made the little boys around her I can't help but be in a high mood, drunk in the envious eyes of everyone and the good-natured jokes, wishing to make the fake come true. It is said that there is no scenery in a familiar place, but it turns out that there is only Jingting Mountain that never tires of seeing each other. He Hao knew that he was probably in love, alone. No matter where you go.God knows the distance they can go is not very long. He Hao was a little confused, a little greedy, and couldn't help wanting a little more, a little more.It is better to hold the hand of this beautiful woman and never let go, and walk with her till the end of life. This is different from all his previous love experiences. Perhaps it is because the possibility is too small. Despair has been predicted from the beginning or even before the beginning, so that those tiny hopes grow wildly, almost every minute. It was more enthusiastic than the previous minute, which made him almost unable to bear it.He suddenly understood what is called "three autumns a day".It turns out that the feeling of three autumns in a day does not have to happen after parting, and lovesickness can also happen face to face. He was almost destined to fall in love with Chen'er, and he was also destined to be sad for her.She was so beautiful, kind, and intelligent, how could he not be fascinated by her?However, she is so dignified, conservative, and a married woman, so what hope does he have? He Hao sighed and murmured, "Erhai should really be renamed." Chen'er was taken aback: "What's your name?" "Maze." Chen'er was taken aback for a moment, then she understood, she turned her head and said nothing, but her face blushed layer by layer. He Hao suddenly sighed, "shame" is such a rare virtue for girls in the era, it has been covered by rouge for a long time, but Chen'er, Chen'er is such a rare woman.He loves her so much that every minute he loves her more deeply than the last minute, but his love is destined to be wasted.The tour guide said that Dali is the hometown of wind, flowers, snow and moon. The flowers in Shangguan, the wind in Xiaguan, the snow in Cangshan Mountain, and the moon in Erhai Lake. Bi people.It's just that the wind, the flowers, the snow and the moon can never be perfect. Chen'er heard him muttering, and smiled: "What are you talking about?" "A pair of couplets." He Hao read it word by word: "The wind, flowers, snow, and moon are all beautiful scenery; laughing, anger, and cursing are all articles." "That's right!" Chen'er applauded, "The time and the occasion!" "Really good? I plan to give it to a partner, maybe it can add some weight to our contract." Chen'er clapped her hands: "As long as they are not blind and deaf, they will definitely give us the contract. Based on this couplet, is there anyone more suitable than you to make this album?" It is worth a thousand gold to get a compliment from your sweetheart.He Hao was greatly encouraged, and had an unexpected surprise and touch. For the first time in his life, he knew that unrequited love can be so happy. It is a kind of happiness to be able to truly fall in love with someone, but it is pain to fall in love with someone who cannot love oneself.However, if you never love wrong, how can you be qualified to say that you really understand the taste of love.Who has ever seen a young man who does not make mistakes?Isn't it a waste of life not to make mistakes? He Hao is determined, even if he knows that the road ahead is a dead end, he will not be reconciled until he hits a wall. The moon rises and shines little by little, shining on the river, talking and singing earnestly, inexplicably making people feel a sense of time and age.Chen'er and He Hao walked back and forth along the beach, the island is very small, they have already walked around the island three times. The room has already been booked, but both of them are reluctant to sleep, they have already said good night to each other and are ready to go back to their rooms, and they also said that they want to watch the moon for a while.However, they were all silent in the end, everything that could be said had been said, and it was not time to say what was left to say, no matter how unwilling Chen'er was, he had no choice but to say: "It's late, I'm sleepy." No matter how unwilling He Hao was, he had no choice but to say :"Good night. Bye bye." After returning to the room and hiding on the bed, Chen'er was in a trance and always seemed to hear a knock on the door. She wishfully believed that He Hao might not be asleep at this time, and might come to her soon, but she didn't dare to knock on the door, saying Maybe he was standing outside the door, waiting for her to open the door and come out.Thinking of this, I became extremely afraid, afraid that I would really hear the knock on the door, afraid that I would get up uncontrollably, afraid to open the door like sleepwalking—afraid that I would see him when I opened the door, and afraid that I would not see him when I opened the door. She was tormented by this fear and hope, and she couldn't stand it for a minute. The auditory hallucinations in her ears became more complicated. There were clearly people pacing outside the door, sighing, lighting, and smoking—she could almost hear the shreds of tobacco. The sound of burning, you can see a little spark from the cigarette butt flickering in the dark, are they sleepless stars, or what kind of eyes? He Hao's eyes were looking at her, smiling slightly at her, and kept talking, he said so many words, which warmed her heart all the time, she was afraid to hear but wanted to hear, wanted to hear but couldn't hear clearly.How long has it been since you felt this way?Or have you never been so flustered? When I was very young, I longed for love, and every day I held Qiong Yao's novels and dreamed of mandarin ducks and butterflies.The boy who pursued her came to her door, and she entertained them to have tea and watch TV, thinking lonely to the screen: why didn't you have a date?Completely forget that there is a big living person sitting opposite.Sending Xu Feng to the United States, I learned to say "Treasure goodbye" at the airport, but there was no parting in my heart, and I never missed it afterwards. E-mail is quite frequent, but never involved in love, just talking about work and current situation, purely because of loneliness and desire to tell. But this time was different, this time she was really disturbed and couldn't be at peace for a minute.Countless daydreams are changing in a blink of an eye, and there are murmurs in her ears, always as if she heard He Hao talking, which made her ears itch, the more she tried to stop her thoughts, the more her heart was like a tide, and she struggled with herself so bitterly and tiredly.Even in the dream, she was still muttering to herself: You can't go out, you can't open the door, I won't let Xiaofeng down, I'm Xiaofeng's wife, I won't do anything to let him down... … As if to echo her, in Dalian thousands of miles away, Xu Feng was also saying to himself: No, I can't let Chen'er down.What I love is Chen'er, she is my wife, I can't do anything wrong to her. But walnuts, walnuts did make his heart beat. The simplest, most thorough and humble love of a girl like walnut can make any man she falls in love with. Although Chen'er was not there, Xu Feng was still the same as usual, going to Tianchi every day for dinner before returning home.It should be something to do, Tianchi and Cheng Zhifang went to watch a movie this evening, and didn't go home for dinner. Xu Feng felt bored, so he invited walnuts to eat together, and opened a bottle of wine.He intended to drink by himself, but Walnut offered to accompany him, and after three cups, Xu Feng thought that maybe Walnut deliberately wanted to get drunk that day, because only the drunk Then I had the excuse to have the courage to say that to him.Rural girls have their own wisdom.They hardly need to plan, but act entirely on instinct, which will teach them to save the day, survive in the cracks, find their place in a completely strange city, and have the opportunity to live better than the real city people.Xu Feng is Walnut's best chance. Through the drunkenness, Walnut told Xu Feng vaguely but clearly: "Brother Xu, I have never met a second person who is better than you. If I can be with you, I will lose ten years of life." Row." "Stay with me, what do you mean?" Xu Feng only treated her as a child, and laughed indulgently, "You can't be a babysitter for the rest of your life, can you?" "Brother Xu, a good person like you deserves a very good wife. Miss Lu is not good enough for you." Walnut suddenly said with certainty. Xu Feng restrained his smile, this was the first time he had heard of it.Since he was a child, he always thought that he was not good enough for Chen'er. Among the two people who love each other, the one who loves more deeply is always the one who falls behind.He pursued Chen'er very hard, and almost sacrificed all his self-esteem, ambitions, wishes and emotions before finally being able to marry her. It was almost more difficult than Tang Seng's study of Buddhist scriptures, and he almost escaped death. In this process, he has already lost himself, he only knows how to please Chen'er, why has he ever thought of himself?Everything about Chen'er is good, right, noble, and correct, but I, I have no choice but to follow her and obey her. But Walnut said: Chen'er is not good enough for him. After being shocked, he couldn't help but want to know: why?He wants to hear her speak more and in more detail; or, he wants to believe in himself more and be more proud. "Why do you say that?" He smiled encouragingly at the little nanny with heavy makeup, "You don't like your sister Lu?" "Of course not. Miss Lu is beautiful and capable. I have no right to say whether I like it or not. I just think that you are better and more capable than her. You have even been to the United States, which is really amazing." Walnut's face turned red Red, looking up at Xu Feng with an incomparably sincere admiration. Xu Feng looked up at him a little bit, yes, the United States was so young at that time, with a bright future, if it wasn't for Chen'er, maybe he would stay in Silicon Valley and become a new generation of Bill Gates at this time, or marry an American His wife drives a Ford sports car and gave birth to a fat mixed-race son... If it wasn't for Chen'er. He began to tell Walnut about the past of American universities, about the professor with a London accent who praised him, about the different scenery of New York and Washington, about his working experience in Chinatown, about open European girls...for so many years The distant memories that have never been touched, once the door of youth is opened, can no longer be closed, rushing in like waves, which makes him feel surprised: has there ever been such a brilliant youth?When did the Avenue of Flowers of Destiny turn a corner?If he does not return to China, how bright and brilliant his future will be? He never thought that he could actually have a better choice, and he never thought about how dissatisfied he was with reality.He has pursued Chen'er for almost his whole life, and now that he has caught up with her, he and she work together to manage a small company, have their own car and house, and have a beautiful and capable wife, but he can't see the future.They are busy with the most basic expenses every month. First, they have to take care of the company's rent, taxes, and employees' salaries, and then they have to take care of Tianchi's medical expenses. They finally wait until Tianchi is revived, but the company is already on the verge of bankruptcy. He can't see the future. With the popularization of computers and computer technology, small-scale plate-making companies will become more and more dead-end. At that time, what should they do?His pressure was so great, but Chen'er didn't understand him, but just complained and demanded endlessly.And she loses her temper more and more easily. In the past, she was the most gentle and kind, with a pleasant face, she talked, was reasonable, and never got angry easily. Now she is doing well. She always pats the table and tells people to leave. Strong Woman Flame.In theory, it's his fault, because he doesn't have the ability to make his wife pampered, but he wants to show his face to the world and destroy his temperament.This made him even more confused. He didn't know why he gave up so much and pursued for so long. Once Xu Feng opened the chatter box, he realized that he had so many things to say and so many grievances to vent. It turned out that he had never had a chance to talk to anyone. It turned out that he was so lonely in Dalian. Be with him and comfort him. He talked on and on, regardless of whether Walnut understood or not.But maybe Walnut doesn't need to understand at all, as long as she can guard her big brother Xu like this, looking at and listening to big brother Xu is enough. She kept pouring wine for him, encouraged him to continue with admiring eyes, and occasionally sighed enviously, praising him with the most sincere and simple words: "Oh, Brother Xu, you are really capable, really You know what kind of woman you want to be worthy of you." "Maybe, I don't need others to be worthy, but I just want them to be worthy." Xu Feng murmured, "What men want is actually not much, maybe just a little admiration and affirmation." He was already a little drunk, some men are happy when drunk, some men are sad when drunk, but Xu Feng couldn't tell whether he was happy or sad now, so he murmured to the little nanny what was deepest in his heart Words, the most sentimental: "I really love Chen'er. I have worked hard, but I can't make her happy. A man can't make his wife happy. How failed are you? It was a failure..." "No. Brother Xu, what you said is wrong." Walnut said firmly.However, as soon as the words came out of her mouth, she was frightened by her own words. She actually said that Brother Xu was "wrong". How could Brother Xu be "wrong"? Her face flushed again, and she hurriedly explained, "I mean, you can't say that, you are not a failure at all, you can start a company, drive a car, speak foreign languages, make money, be nice to people, Be nice to your wife... You don't know, in our rural areas, many men can't even eat enough and have no skills, but they beat their wives... You are different, you are so considerate to Miss Lu, I have never seen To have someone better than you to your wife..." Walnut stammered and explained, which made Xu Feng feel both funny and moved. She actually compared me with those men who beat their wives in the countryside. Being praised sincerely by a girl like this made him feel complacent. After loving Chen'er for so long and suffering so much, he had already forgotten that he was quite an attractive man after leaving Chen'er. He patted Walnut's face, and said to her gently like coaxing a child: "Don't worry, brother Xu will definitely pay attention to you and help you find someone who doesn't beat his wife. I'm sure he's better than me, okay?" Such an ordinary joke made Walnut cry instead, and said with tears all over his face: "Brother Xu, you are lying! If you don't like me, just say you don't like me. Why are you lying to me?" Xu Feng was taken aback: "What did I lie to you?" "There is no man better than you, and you still say that you are not lying to me?" Somehow, Walnut threw herself into Xu Feng's arms, and tears were printed on his clothes, she was crying sputteringly, He said incoherently, "Brother Xu, you are the best, the best, the best... No one is better than you, no one else..." She cried in despair. The despair of "no one else" made her feel that her life was over, and she would never meet a better man. This best man was already someone else's husband. She met Walnut for nothing. I lost him, but what chance is there?Her life is over, over.She was crying, turning her head in Xu Feng's arms, and raised her face to her own lips. Xu Feng was moved to hear the little girl's heartfelt words, he held her face up, wiped away those glistening tears for her, hugged her and said emotionally: "Silly walnut, you are really... It's really..." What the hell he didn't say, and the words were replaced by a passionate kiss.He tossed and passionately kissed the walnut, until the walnut turned into cotton, and collapsed softly in his arms... Oh, little walnut, you are so simple, so infatuated, so pious, how can you let him reject?