Chapter 5 5. Love of Flowers and Butterflies

I don’t know how many wedding bouquets I have made for others in my life. This time, it is my turn. With the yellow rosewood furniture as companions, it is easy to regard the new house as one's own. That furniture was sold by Yizhong as an intermediary back then, but Ye Zizhen redeemed it for me. On the eve of the wedding, I asked Zizhen, "It's too late for you to regret it now." "Why do you regret it?" he replied, "It took me so much to marry you." "But do you love me?" "I don't know how much I love you, but I'm sure I won't love others more than you."

I am speechless, maybe this is happiness.Although I know that what I love is not Ye Zizhen, but I will not love others more. I will try my best to be his good wife. My life is not long. If I have a crush on Song Yizhong silently, ten years will pass in a blink of an eye, and I will be with Ye Zizhen It shouldn't be hard to be noisy for decades, right? Yizhong's betrayal cannot be forgiven.He actually avoided the ten-year agreement by going to Beijing to work!How many blows can a person's heart bear?I waited for Yizhong, from the age of twelve to twenty-two, for a full ten years, watching him get married, have children, open a clinic, and change girlfriends, but I didn't have a role in waiting.

Even if it's a supporting role, even if it's just a game, even if it's just a game, let me participate in this game, okay?Why don't you play with me?I don't dare to ask too much, I don't ask him to be single-minded, or even for a long time, as long as he tells me love, can't it be done once, and can't lie to me? I am finally tired. No one informed Yizhong of the date of my wedding banquet, but just one minute before the marching music sounded, he called the cell phone.My sister answered on her behalf: "Brother, I am Bai Shao, and Bai Shu is getting married today, do you know that? We are all in the auditorium now."

In the end, Yizhong had no choice but to say "take care". This was what my sister told me when I returned home on the third day. After hearing this, I was speechless for a long time. Bai Shao said: "Speaking of which, we were rude. You suddenly decided to get married, and you prepared in such a hasty way that you didn't have time to inform senior brother. But maybe Xiao Li will tell him." Little Lizi won't, I know.If Xiao Li had told him, he would not have called at that time, either one day earlier or one day later, and he would not have called me when the wedding march sounded.

That missed call made me bitter.What is he going to say to me?He rejected my infatuation, left Beijing alone, and now calls again, why?Does he regret it? Never know the answer again. The daughter of the Bai family has become the wife of the Ye family, and I will be Mrs. Ye Zizhen from now on.During the long days I tried to restrain myself from being distracted, but at night... At night, the dream soul flew over thousands of mountains and rivers unfettered, or the wind and rain, or flying flowers filled the air. I walked the streets of Beijing alone, looking for and looking for each other. , Yizhong."

Always looking.Night after night. Song Yizhong in the dream is illusory, always facing me with his back, and occasionally turning his head, his face is blurred and his figure is elegant, as if he will disappear into thin air at any time.The indescribable sadness and elusiveness, the vast fear and despair, the endless night. I often wake up crying. Fortunately, I don't have the bad habit of talking in my sleep, otherwise the world would be in chaos. Lovesickness and guilt are like two opposite carriages, pulling me almost to collapse.When she returned to her mother's house, her elder sister saw her haggard face, and asked Ye Zizhen how to destroy flowers with such cruel hands.

Zizhen responded in embarrassment: "Maybe it's because of too much work pressure? Bai Shu has always said that she doesn't like being a teacher. I have persuaded her to resign and go home as a wife several times. Can my sister persuade me?" Bai Shao likes to make decisions for others. As an investment consultant, she immediately offered advice and said: "It's too early to be a housewife. But the teacher's job is indeed not done by humans. The salary is low and there are many worries. According to me , why not ask my sister to open a beauty salon and hire two little girls as helpers. The scale does not need to be very large, but the grade must be high and unique, and it is dedicated to making money from rich women. Needless to say, I will be the first to patronize You, and bring clients here for you."

Zizhen immediately agreed: "Opening a beauty salon will not worry about business, and it is suitable for Baishu. My sister is the most economical." The brother-in-law laughed: "Does that matter? As long as it is related to making money, Bai Shao is the number one consultant." Mom hesitated: "But being a teacher is a legitimate job, opening a beauty salon, isn't it the same as me?" "Then it's not called a beauty salon, but a beauty clinic. My sister knows a little bit of medical skills, so she can combine beauty treatment with medical treatment, and become a beauty expert. It's easier to attract customers, and she's more professional."

Zizhen applauded: "My sister's words are golden rules and jade rules. If I write a book another day, I can write a "Secrets of Turning Stone into Gold"." My mother also readily accepted: "This is also good, the clinic is opened near my shop, so we can take care of each other." All the while, no one thought to ask me for my opinion. Forget it, the person next to my pillow is not my sweetheart. Marriage makes me feel deeply unclean, and I can no longer face the innocent smiling faces of the students. It is easier to beautify a person's face than to beautify a person's soul.

A sense of mission that is too sacred is not suitable for me. After all, I am just a little woman with no ambitions. When handing over the resignation letter, the principal was shocked and saddened: "You want to resign? Bai Shu, you are the key training object of our school..." After feeling so emotional, he finally agreed. This is the end of my one-year candle career as a teacher. Since then, in the entire middle school, no Chinese teacher can speak standard Mandarin.But it's not my fault. With such a low salary, how can it be possible to retain a teacher with a little mobility?The profession of teaching is increasingly regarded by some rural students as a springboard to enter the city, but even they, if they can speak Mandarin well and have some social connections, will leave campus soon.

The teachers who can stay, because they are not good enough to be competent teachers in terms of preaching, teaching and dispelling doubts, have to control the students more strictly, such as not talking or running and jumping, so the image of the teacher is getting worse day by day. One day more like a jailer. In this way, within half a year, I changed from a woman to a wife, from a soul engineer to a beauty salon proprietress. The beauty salon is just opposite to my mother's flower shop. It is called "Flower Rhyme". If you are sick, I will return you, who is as beautiful as a flower and a jade, a satisfactory beauty. The green and crystal-clear apple cake is served in an enamel and cloisonné jade porcelain plate, and it is served to everyone, and the person who sees it has a share, and a strong flower and fruit tea is taken away.Not long after it opened, it already has a large number of repeat customers. Those arty wives and white-collar ladies, even if they don't do beauty treatments, they also like to sit in the store when they are free, drink a cup of tea, chat, discuss beauty care or exchange husband training experience. "Husband and wife are the most untrustworthy type of interpersonal relationship. As a woman, of course, you have to have some money in your own hands to be safe." "Exactly. Having a man to rely on is the greatest blessing for a woman, but it is also the least safe. Especially a man in his thirties is the most untrustworthy. He has some money, a wide range of contacts, and just enough physical strength. At home? We are all competing with girls of eighteen or nineteen years old, college students, Miss Wu, Yingying Yanyan, it is hard to guard against." "Then what to do?" "What can we do? We need to stay the same to cope with all changes. First, we must work hard to make money, and second, we must work hard to be young. Only with money can you have self-confidence, and with self-confidence, you can be beautiful. It is best to start a family like Miss Bai. shop, with freedom and face.” I laughed and couldn't help joining in: "Those men, do you like active girls or reserved girls? Do you like college students or Miss Wu? Do you like chasing others or being chased by others?" The wives laughed together: "There is no rule to reject anyone who comes. To put it bluntly, it's just a play on the spot. As long as it's not the one in my own family, it's the same for any girl. Just one word-fresh." Fresh?I soaked my hands in warm water, and what floated on the water were fresh flower petals of various colors, colorful and colorful, reflecting my peach blossom face. No matter how beautiful the face is, if you see it too much, it will no longer be fresh. "Fresh? Is it that simple?" "It's that simple. Do you think there is any more noble reason?" The person on the brocade couch sighed quietly, "Xu Xian married the white lady and still missed Xiaoqing; Before I got married with Cui Yingying, I would have already said to the matchmaker: If I share the mandarin tent with your passionate lady, how can I be willing to ask you to make the quilt and make the bed. It is a man's nature to love the new and dislike the old." The pollen mask mixed with petal honey was adjusted properly, and it was applied layer by layer on the woman's face like a wall.Even the eyes were covered with gauze, and two piles of mint green mud were thickly piled on.There is only one mouth left, still talking about the right and wrong between men and women—— "It doesn't matter if the picture is fresh. Once the novelty is over, it will naturally come back to the shore. It will not seriously shake the foundation and affect the marriage. Most men looking for an affair have already left a way out from the beginning. Every step is carried out according to the plan, and it is determined. You will not leave any trouble before you are willing to say some sweet words that don’t need to be honored anyway. It’s like going to a dance party, the end of the song, what you want is the process of the game.” It's so frivolous, but I don't want to believe it. My concept of love is not like that.It's not as simple as a piece of music and a dance, but like a composer, all the notes have already existed in the deep inspiration, just waiting for the moment when the blessing reaches the soul, it will be triggered at the touch of a button, flowing like clouds and flowing water, and play the most beautiful music.That is the cuddling with each other before the flowers and the moon, that is the heartfelt gratitude for the dream come true, that is me holding hands with the person I love, and I am speechless. However, I finally married someone I didn't love.My love has ended before it started, only more pathetic. Because there is no sympathy, on the contrary, it is serene and calm, giving people a sense of calmness and detachment from the outside world. "12 grams of rose flower, 30 grams of angelica and 30 grams of salvia miltiorrhiza, crushed into powder, soaked in rice wine, sealed for seven days and nights, added 50 grams of crushed rock sugar and stirred. Each serving is 15 to 30 milliliters, two to three times a day. It can treat dysmenorrhea .” "Grind 12 grams of peony flowers into fine powder, cook porridge with 50 grams of stalk rice, add 20 grams of sugar, take it twice a day on an empty stomach. It can promote blood circulation and regulate menstruation." "15 grams of roses, remove the stalks of the heart, take the petals and boiled and shelled eggs together in a pot, boil for ten minutes, remove the petals, add brown sugar, eat eggs and drink soup. One dose a day can relieve depression. , Calm down and calm down." The beautiful fine characters and lower case letters are written on printed paper, the content and form are both fragrant and beautiful, and the prescription is like a love letter.Even if the disease is not cured, you can feel at ease, accompanied by bursts of flower fragrance, urging guests to sleep. Before leaving, I gave a pack of petals for bathing. I don't know how good the business is. Chunlan Qiuju, another year has passed in the blink of an eye, the number of employees has increased, and the store has doubled in size.Believe it or not, it doesn't matter too much about the management, it's completely following the wind, but it's unintentional, and it's really a shrewd proprietress. Even my sister praised me for my ability: "A small beauty salon is really well managed by you. According to this, you can open a branch in less than a year. However, don't just look after the business. , and also spare some time and energy to take care of your husband. After a year of marriage, the novelty has passed, and the maturity has not yet come up, which is the most dangerous thing." What my sister said was not groundless. There were indeed scandals in Zizhen's place, saying that he had a hot fight with a lady from an auction house surnamed Hu. Once, my sister and I dressed up and hid in the crowd of guests and quietly went to see the lady presiding over the transaction. Wow, act resolutely, wave your hand and watch off, you need to be eloquent and have a good figure, not to mention being a lover for a second-generation ancestor like Zizhen, even if the mayor Mingmei is married to the wife of the former diplomat, it is enough. I'm not worth it for her. But there is no way to love someone, so what is it worth or not.She is to Ye Zizhen, perhaps just like I am to my elder brother, she does not care about the cost and does not seek results.I hope that your heart is like my heart, and I will definitely live up to my lovesickness.It's just that Zizhen's heart is more on her side, or more on my side? My sister asked me: "What are you going to do?" "I don't know. Do you want to cry, make trouble and hang yourself?" I really had no idea. "Don't do it." Bai Shao warned seriously: "These three tricks may be effective in scaring those civil servants. They want face and are most afraid of gossip. But the Ye family is a businessman, so they don't care about gossip. In the past, three wives The four concubines are also regarded as normal, anyway, they are rich." "How about I have a good talk with Zizhen and impress him with emotion?" "It's not good either. It would be better if he is willing to lie to you. If he really admits it, then you won't be able to make trouble. If you make trouble, you will lose face and it will be difficult to deal with it." I was impatient: "I'm neither left nor right, it's better to pretend I don't know." "That's the only thing for now." My sister sighed blankly: "A hundred flowers cure all diseases. I don't know if there is a kind of flower that can teach men to be single-minded after eating." It turns out that liking the new and loathing the old is a man's nature, there is no cure, and even the shrewd sister is helpless. We did not continue to follow that Miss Hu. Ye Zizhen is the only son of a real estate developer, so it must not be difficult for him to buy another fragrant nest for his new love, a golden house to hide the beauty, maybe there is another hall of expensive furniture, maybe there is another home. Nothing to do with me. I don't care about sharing his heart with other women.Only for my own heart, and never completely belonged to Ye Zizhen. But I didn't expect that she would take the initiative to come to me. "My name is Hu Sirong." She introduced herself. In the afternoon, the cicadas were screaming impatiently, and the two air conditioners were blowing on each other, but they couldn't make any coolness. She was sweating very quickly, her face was flushed, she didn't know if it was hot or irritable, and she said, "I want to have a beauty treatment." I nodded and sent the waiter to greet her. She was even more anxious: "Can I ask the proprietress to do it for me? I will pay three times the price." I look at her. She lowered her head and hurriedly explained: "That's not what I meant, I know the proprietress doesn't care about the money, I just want to say..." "I'll do it for you." I interrupted her, not wanting her to make things difficult any longer. "Of course I care. The purpose of opening a shop is to make money. Come, please." I led her into the private room, lit the aromatherapy lamp, dripped rose essential oil, used carnation as a facial scrub, dipped in warm water and gently brushed her cheeks, and gently pressed the acupuncture points on her face with lily petals to moisten and relax her nerves. But she frowned tightly, unable to relax. I recalled that day when my sister and I went to peek at her presiding over the auction. It turned out that when I was peeping at her, she was also worried about me. Know yourself and the enemy, and you will never be imperiled in a hundred battles? But I don't want to start a war with anyone. Watching her so closely, applying all kinds of scrubs, facial cleansers, and massage creams on her face, but she can only passively close her eyes and let me look at her, her brows are always tense, and she probably regrets putting herself in such a way. A situation without protection. What a beautiful woman, with a full and smooth forehead, long eyebrows reaching into the temples, straight nose, and an indescribably glamorous expression because she was full of guard.People say that a person with a straight nose must cultivate a straight body, but she is willing to degenerate and become a concubine. But who can say that people who are concubines have evil intentions?Aren't I also thinking about other people's husbands all the time? Two dogs fight, play off.I don't want to be a snipe, nor a clam, and I don't want Ye Zizhen to enjoy the benefits of a fisherman. Therefore, he calmly completed the whole beauty treatment process without saying a word, evenly applied the pollen mask on Hu Sirong, told her to rest well, and wanted to retreat. She called me: "Please wait." "It's best not to talk." I reminded, "You have put on a mask, you should talk less and make less expressions, or all previous efforts will be wasted." "Miss Bai, I heard that you know medical skills, don't you?" Covering her face with a mask, she seemed to have settled down, and she was at ease with me, fighting to the death. "This is the Huazhiyun Beauty Clinic. Since it is a clinic, let's see a doctor too." ?” "It depends on what the disease is. I only know some folk remedies, just to trick people, please rest assured." "I heard that Miss Bai is from a family of Chinese medicine practitioners. I wonder if you can feel my pulse for me?" In the aromatherapy lamp of Longfeng Ruyi, there is a curling fragrance of roses. Rose essential oil is the soul of roses.The flowers fade, the bright red fades away, and the heart never dies.It takes the souls of dozens of roses to condense a drop of essential oil. In this room, lingering, are the souls of thousands of roses.Hidden resentment, waiting for the opportunity to move. I moved my finger on her wrist: "You are pregnant." "Yes." She replied shamelessly.There is a mask on the face, eyelids on the eyes, fully armed, and no expression can be seen. "I've been pregnant for three months. I can't sleep or eat. I feel restless. I feel insecure. I went to several hospitals and took a lot of medicine, but it didn't help. Does Doctor Bai have any magic formula?" She called me doctor and asked for a blind medicine.As for the prescription, she has already prescribed it by herself, as long as I prepare it according to the prescription, she will accept it with a smile. I suddenly smiled: "Don't worry." "rest assured?" "Yes, as long as you relax, you will sleep soundly and eat well." "Can you help me?" "I do my best." "But I don't ask you to do your best." Miss Hu Sirong sat up and lifted the gauze covering her face with one hand, revealing a pair of sparkling eyes in the white mask, "I just hope you don't do anything." "Lie down, I'll help you wash your face." "Thank you." She lay down lazily and said to herself, "I will negotiate with him in the next few days and ask him to give me an answer. I just hope that no matter what decision he makes, you will not stop him .” I moved back to my mother's house that night. Zizhen panicked: "What did that woman tell you?" "I didn't say anything, she just asked me to do a beauty treatment for her and feel her pulse." I gently opened Zizhen's hand, "I want to give each other a little time so that everyone can calm down and think about it." "You mean, I still have a chance?" "Absolutely." I'm not being generous, I really don't care. I even kissed Zizhen on the cheek lightly, "I support all your decisions." But Zizhen just didn't let go: "Baishu, let's talk, let's talk, okay? Don't leave in a hurry." "Okay." I sat down and couldn't help being curious, "How did you start?" "Uh?" "How did it start? Did you see her first, or did she hunt you first? Who said the first words, who took the first step, how to start the first date..." I'm really curious, I'm so curious. "It's a very long story for two men and women who don't know each other, from the meeting to the heartbeat, all the way to the skin-to-skin relationship? Where do you have so much time to hunt for beauty? You have to help your father do business, and there are so many socializing, and you have to go home every night, how can you have so much time to deal with another woman?" Zizhen was so embarrassed that his ears and blush were all red like a cloud of fire.Hey, this man still knows how to be ashamed, and his morals are far worse than his new love.When Hu Sirong faced me, he didn't know how calm he was. After a long while, he finally left. In the taxi, I saw the lights of the road and the sky full of stars.It is not easy to see the starry sky in Xi'an. There are too many emperors buried here. After too many wars and killings, the sky is covered with haze and it is difficult to see the clear sky. Suddenly feel deeply lonely.Regardless of whether you love each other or not, after a hundred years, you, me, and she will all turn into a handful of loess. The wind wept depressively.The wind blew intermittently the lyrics of Daqin Opera: "Scholars from the south, generals from the north, and the loess from Shaanxi buried the emperor..." If the wind is strong enough to lift the ground three feet away, then the buried tomb of King Wu of the Qin Dynasty will be exposed, and the bones of emperors and prime ministers will be mixed together, making it impossible to tell who is rich and who is cheap. But the secrets in my heart will never be exposed to the sun. The terracotta warriors are alive, but my heart is dead. He has been wronged through the ages. I rolled up the sleeves of my coat and knocked on the door. When I saw my mother, I just said that Zizhen was on a business trip and I would come back to stay for a while. My mother was very happy that I went home to accompany her. She was completely unsuspecting of cheating, chattering, and watching TV happily. "Where did Zizhen go on a business trip? When will she come back? If there's anything I can be happy about in my life, it's that both of you are growing up well and marrying well. Even though I don't have a son, I'm content." "The son of Mrs. Li next door found a few girlfriends, but they didn't talk for long, and they talked about it in a few months. They talked about it and then talked about it. After talking about it, they talked about it. Give birth to a son, otherwise, even if you pay your old life to be a nanny for your son, you will still be picked on by your wife for not being fast enough. It is best to finish being a nanny, and then turn around and pay the boss for salary." "There's really nothing to watch on this TV. But it's reliable, and it starts at the right time every day, which makes people feel hopeful." This is the true meaning of life, not afraid of waiting, as long as there is hope. I feel a little sad, my mother is too lonely, and she has been getting old in the past year, repeating a sentence twice, and repeating it every few minutes, making noises non-stop, but it only becomes more deserted. I asked her, "Has Mr. Xing been here recently?" "What is Mr. Xing?" Mom frowned, "This kid is talking nonsense." I smiled wryly, this is the scheming of the older generation, as long as you don't know a word, you can completely deny the facts. Modern people are not willing to hide it, and modern people live the most straightforward life, such as Hu Sirong, who called the door clearly, and the thief shouted "stop thief" louder than anyone else. The most suffering is me, neither old nor new, living in the cracks, right and left are wrong. Mom was still making noise, talking about the neighbors and the house, but she couldn't talk about herself.This time I learned how to be good, no matter what she said, she just grinned, and when I fell asleep, I only felt a dull pain in my cheeks. Only then did I really get serious.If Zizhen and I get divorced, we will be as noisy and quiet as our mother for the rest of our long life, right? No matter how unsatisfactory a marriage is, it is also a companion. As a human being, one cannot escape the custom. Even if it is not for oneself, one has to consider the face of the family.It doesn't matter who the soul is dreamed of, as long as the rivalry scene is still completed by the character called the husband. The next day, Zizhen called me to invite me to have lunch, saying that he had reserved a table at the Fen Lane Cafe. When dressing up, it feels like a date. Everything seems to return to love. Zizhen and I have never really been in love. We have known each other since we were young, and he already knew that he liked me early on. We met again after many years, and the heart of fulfilling the wish is more important than anything else, and I just wanted to find someone to marry.We hit it off right away and sang a song "Feng Qiu Luan" together, which seemed to be a harmonious and loving couple, but in fact it was not like that at all. Meeting Hu Sirong and falling in love with Hu Sirong may be the most sincere love in Zizhen's life. I have no reason to resent him. Fenxiang, the name is fragrant and colorful, and the rumors are also charming.It is said that before liberation, it used to be the first-class cosmetic and romantic place in Xi'an. The style of the buildings along the street is very special, full of colors of Ming and Qing Dynasties, exquisite pavilions, and double curtains, which is exactly the setting of Lipan Jinlian's first encounter with Ximenqing.Walking in the middle of the street, stepping on the green and white stone road, I heard the sound of silk and bamboo in my ears, as if a wooden lattice window on the small building would "squeak" open at any time, and a delicate voice called: "Liu Hong, Xiao Cui , Chunhua, pick up—guest—la—" However, according to the local chronicles, the so-called "Fen Lane" is not the "Fen" of fireworks powder, but because there were many flour workshops in this street during the Ming and Qing Dynasties. It makes me sad. There are too many misunderstandings in the world, whether it is a street or a relationship, there are always hidden secrets, dark and difficult to explain. Zizhen had already arrived, and when he saw me, his face was full of embarrassment, as if the red cloud from last night hadn't faded until today. "Wife, can you forgive me?" "What about Hu Sirong? Is she going to forgive you?" "I have decided to break up with her, but she asked for a breakup fee of 500,000 yuan. I agreed." "Breakup fee?" I was surprised. I thought that this kind of thing can only be seen in novels. It turns out that there is such a thing as using money to settle feelings. "How is the five hundred thousand calculated? Loss of love or loss of youth?" Zizhen was even more embarrassed. I don't want to ask any more questions, I just feel puzzled.How did they negotiate?Is there a bargain?Is it a tearful breakup or a clear settlement? Thinking left and right, I can't guess. I thought that Hu Sirong was infatuated and his friendship was priceless, but it turned out to be worth half a million yuan.I don't know, if Zizhen's final decision is to choose her and abandon me, how much alimony will he pay me?Anyway, if she is a regular wife, it should be 30% more, right? The red tide on Zizhen's face receded, and she suddenly sighed: "Bai Shu, you don't love me after all." I was surprised, he was the one who lost his virginity, why did he turn the defense into an offense and preemptively strike? But then I understood what he meant, and during the whole process, I did seem to be a little too calm and tolerant.I tolerated him, and tolerated that woman. From the beginning to the end, I only wanted to solve the problem, and refused to get angry a little bit. To be so magnanimous to a husband is either a god or no love. And I'm certainly not a god. In the end, it was my turn to apologize: "I'm not qualified to be a wife, and I don't care enough for you. I'll just pay attention in the future." So Shuangshuang went home and continued to act as a loving couple. How many good couples in the world are not compromised? Therefore, literary works with happy endings are mostly classified as romanticism, and those with tragic endings are documentary.