Chapter 10 10. Who is the actor and who is the guest

And "Pipa Ji".Every time it is sung, it pierces the clouds and cracks the silk, with a good shape and spirit.Wearing Du Liniang's head and face, you become Du Liniang, and you change Zhao Wuniang again when you put on Zhao Wuniang's attire. Although the phoenix crown and xiapei, the love is strong, it is just the clouds and rain on the stage. All kinds of romantic feelings are in her sleeves. . I underestimated the pressure that Xiangru's resurrection brought to Nian'er, or I overestimated Xia Nian'er's concentration. She is only superficially strong, and speaks eloquently, but in fact she is equally terrified in her heart, so terrified that she has to find a substitute to make her lose her temper—the reporter who exposed Xiangru bears the brunt.Xia Nian'er rushed into the editorial office of the newspaper this afternoon, she couldn't help but pick up a chair and smash it on the other person's head, knocking him unconscious, and then made a big fuss at the newspaper office, swinging the chair and rampaging, heroic and irresistible.There are many men in the newspaper office, but whoever dares to wade into this muddy water hides as far away as possible, or in his heart, he is also thinking that Xiangru is not worth it, and he wants to make a fuss—in short, it made her explode It wasn't until the police arrived in time after receiving the report that they finally stabilized her.

Corn was stunned: "Your roommate is really wonderful and bloody!" He volunteered as a guarantee, and immediately rushed to the hospital to negotiate with the reporter. I can roughly guess what he did, nothing more than "money can turn ghosts around".But with him and Feng Yuting cooperating internally and externally, we can finally get through the two ways of black and white, and we can keep our minds safe. The editor-in-chief of that newspaper probably also had a guilty conscience and didn't want to make the matter big. He only said that this was a personal grievance between the reporter and Nian'er and had nothing to do with the newspaper. He was willing to withdraw the case and not pursue it.

I asked him, "My friend Su Xiangru committed suicide by jumping off a building because of your irresponsible report. Don't you have nightmares about it?" He hesitated for a moment, and replied disapprovingly: "If we don't withdraw the lawsuit, we can sue your other friend for hurting someone else's body, and she will be in a lot of trouble." "Then I still have to thank you?" I couldn't help being sarcastic, "What makes you both willing to raise your hands high?" He sighed and said, "I have a daughter who is about your age."

I took a step closer: "So, when you signed and agreed to publish the manuscript, did you forget that you have a daughter who is about the same size as us?" The old man's face was slightly distorted, and he answered after a while, "The sales of that issue of the newspaper were very good." Another example of ignoring ethics for the sake of career. sales.Xiangru is also a newspaper reporter, and what she cares about most every day is hot news and newspaper sales. Now, she has achieved another newspaper's sales success with her own death. What an irony! At this time, Nian'er came out, her hair was unkempt, her eyes were shining, but she was extremely beautiful in the embarrassment.In the midst of my busy schedule, I couldn't help but think: a beauty is a beauty. It is true that a flower blooms when it is full of make-up, but it is also in full swing when it loses its temper.

However, the beauty's face is like a flower, but her tone is like ice.She said: "Hong Yan, let's go." Without looking at Feng Yuting who sent her out. "Nian'er, you're good looking." I walked up to her and hugged her tightly, "Xiangru's ancient heroines are probably like you." Nian'er laughed bleakly, and said sadly, "But even if I kill that reporter, can Xiangru be resurrected?" "Nian'er, wait a minute." Feng Yuting called her to stop. Nian'er stopped, but still didn't turn her head and didn't speak.Feng Yuting walked over, the way he looked at Nian'er made me understand that this is a man I love, and he really likes Nian'er.I really want to shout to Nian'er: Don't miss this person, or you will regret it.But I also know how sharp and stubborn the thorn between them is, just like what Nian'er said - Xiangru can never be resurrected again, and there is a deadlock between her and Feng Yuting.

"Nian'er," Feng Yuting said with difficulty, "Can we find a place to talk?" "No need. If you have anything to say, just say it here." Nian'er still didn't look back. Feng Yuting sighed, and said decisively: "Okay. I only have one sentence: If you still want to hit someone in the future, let me do it for you." This sentence uttered, even I couldn't help being shocked.I always thought that what Feng Yuting wanted to talk to Nian'er was to persuade her not to act rashly and do illegal things, but I didn't expect that this policeman would rather put himself in danger than make Nian'er feel at ease.

Looking at Nian'er, there were tears in her eyes, her lips trembled a few times, as if she had countless things to say, but finally she just nodded her head and left quickly.I had no choice but to keep up with her, hold her hand wordlessly, and walk together in the cold moon and clear wind, and in the ups and downs of life. The night is cold and windy, and autumn is getting stronger and stronger. Pedestrians were hurrying on the street, and I couldn't help thinking: Which ones walking here are real living people, and which ones are ghosts without knowing it?If every ghost whose wish has not been fulfilled can return to the mortal world and live with ordinary people as long as their identities are not exposed, then how will those who live with ghosts finally discover the truth?If the truth is not discovered, can they live in peace like this forever?

If I hadn't watched Xiangru jump off the building with my own eyes, if we didn't know that Xiangru was dead, then we might not think of so many things when we saw Xiangru again, and all kinds of abnormalities would find a reason to justify themselves, that way, maybe we would Live easier and happier.Ghosts don't know that they are dead. If the living don't know either, can they coexist peacefully?What does it feel like to die?But do you have to pass through a long corridor, pass through Huangquan Road and Naihe Bridge?And Xiangru lost her way, wandering around, and suddenly saw a familiar door and pushed in, seeing that it was a house door, she just returned to the sun...

"Nian'er," I thought suddenly, "tell me, how can we know if we are alive?" "What are you talking about?" Nian'er stared at me inexplicably. "I said, maybe you and I are not necessarily alive, who knows? We are strangers in a foreign land, even if we die, no one will know. If one day I have a car accident on the way home, Already crashed to death, but I don’t know it, I still continue to walk like a wandering soul, go home and live as usual, and you don’t know, then I can hide it like this, maybe I can live like this until I grow old, until I come back again in the future. Die once."

Nian'er stopped, her eyes were dazed, as if confused by my wild thoughts.She thought hard for a long time, and then said: "Hong Yan, I don't think as much as you do. I only know that one day counts as one day." She paused, then suddenly asked: "The one just now, is that your boyfriend? Very stylish. Is it the big boss?" "It's a married man." I laughed at myself.At this point, what else can I hide from Nian'er?Both of us are scarred people, even if we lick our wounds, it is not a shameful thing. "All good men are married." Nian'er understood very well, "He treats you very well, and the rest doesn't matter."

"Can you ignore it? He has a wife." "A man who is not married has a mother, and a man who is divorced may have a daughter. Men have never been entangled with women. All you want is this man. Why bother with those relationships outside of him?" Nian'er's point of view has always been unique, and I couldn't accept it for a while, but I hoped that she would say more, as if she was seeking theoretical support for her transgression. I know that, like Nian'er, I have two knots in my heart: one is Xiangru, and the other is emotion.I can't talk about Xiangru's resurrection with Corn, but I would like to talk about Corn with Nian'er. "He is very kind to me, very gentle, and considerate of me, but he has never told me love... Maybe he thinks he is not qualified to say love. But he is already with me and has broken One form, but I care about another form, the feeling he gives me, makes me feel that it is a mistake for me to love him, and I feel that I am cheap..." "Hong Yan, don't say that." Nian'er interrupted me, "There's nothing wrong with loving someone, but the cheapest is the man who obviously fell in love with you but dared not admit it. It's fine if he can sit still, treat him as a real gentleman , don't provoke him. It's obviously not. Seeing how he treats you, he's so cocky. I don't know how proud he is. With a lover like you who is both talented and beautiful, he deliberately doesn't give you a correct word, just to make you Psychologically, he will always be at a disadvantage. The man who was killed by a thousand knives today!" Nian'er's gritted teeth made me laugh, and I felt relieved and happy. "What about Feng Yuting? I think he treats you really badly, why don't you give yourself a chance?" "He..." Nian'er sighed, "He is a man of integrity. He knows that there will be no good results, so he doesn't care if he doesn't try to court him." Only then did I realize that Nian'er had always kept her distance from Feng Yuting, not only because of Xiangru, but also because of her low self-esteem—she was afraid that Feng Yuting would despise her if she knew her status as a stripper, she would rather not start , and stay away from that cruel ending.Nian'er's heart turned out to be so timid and sensitive, full of contradictions and entanglements.I really know too little about the two good friends around me, and I really care too little. "Maybe Feng Yuting will understand you." I comforted Nian'er, "If Xiangru can be your confidant, Feng Yuting can do the same." Nian'er smiled: "Do you want to bet against human nature? Remember the last time Xiangru had an accident, you also believed that Bai Rutong would accept it, and the result? Men are used to add icing on the cake, but I am not a brilliant and flawless brocade horse. I'm a discarded scrap." "You are not leftovers, you are at best a georgette that has been eaten by moths, but people with good craftsmanship will mend your wounds and embroider." "Hong Yan, you are really good at talking, and you are really naive." Nian'er sighed, "Human nature cannot be tested. Feelings that need to be tested are destined to be tragedies. Do you want to test your Mr. Yu, let him have a good relationship between you and him?" How about a choice between wives?" I was shot to the bone and left speechless. Nian'er sighed more deeply, as if she was telling me, or herself: "When people get along with each other, they are most afraid of inequality. Xiangru and Bai Rutong are perfect enough, childhood sweethearts, absolutely equal, but Xiangru If something happens, the relationship will be tilted. Xiangru loves Bai Rutong more than Bai Rutong, and hurts more, so she can't bear her humiliation, and feels that she is sorry for Bai Rutong and not worthy of Bai Rutong. Unable to face this kind of relationship, he tilted and jumped off the building. You and Yu Min are the same. If you love him more than him, you feel that you are a third party, that you are inferior, and that you are at a disadvantage. If it is the other way around, if he loves you deeply He is older than you, so he should feel inferior, because he is the married man, so he is not qualified to love you, and should be ashamed in front of you. But he doesn't, he knows that the relationship between you is originally Inequality, either the east wind overwhelms the west wind, or the west wind overwhelms the east wind. He wants to strike first, so he gives you psychological hints everywhere. If he doesn't confess his love to you, it is a way of retreating. I know the mind of a man very clearly. Now, don't fall for his tricks..." Is that right?I've never thought about it this way, but what Nian'er said seems to make sense. I suddenly figured out another thing: "You don't want to be with Feng Yuting because you are afraid of this unequal relationship?" Nian'er smiled coldly, but didn't answer.I knew I had guessed the answer.Maybe Xiangru, Nian'er, and I, we fell in love with people we shouldn't love.Therefore, from the beginning of the relationship, it was doomed to fail. After a whole afternoon of emotional ups and downs, seeing Xiang Rushi again, I feel more and more difficult to get together, and every second is like gold.However, Xiangru's expression was painful and her face was ashen. Nian'er asked cautiously: "Xiangru, are you okay at home today?" "It's nothing." Xiangru hesitated, "That's right, there was a man who stood downstairs for a long time in the afternoon, looking towards our window. He looks familiar, but I can't remember who he is." "Does he look familiar?" I became nervous and half guessed, "What does he look like? What clothes does he wear?" Xiangru recalled bitterly: "Medium build, with messy hair and beard, very haggard, wearing a black jacket, it belonged to Laersdan..." really.It was Bai Rutong. He came downstairs to look around after we broke up with me. Fortunately, he didn't go upstairs, otherwise, the consequences would be disastrous. Nian'er was still in the dark, she asked strangely: "From such a distance, how do you know what brand of jacket he is wearing?" Xiangru was stunned: "Yeah, how do I know the brand? But I just know, that jacket, that jacket..." She suddenly grabbed the clothes on her chest and rolled down on the sofa in pain, "It hurts so much , My heart hurts so much, here it comes again, my chest has been hurting this afternoon, like a thousand needles are piercing..." "It's okay, Xiangru, don't be nervous, don't think about the jacket anymore, take a deep breath, let yourself calm down. Xiangru, be quiet..." Nian'er took care of her nervously, and I couldn't do anything, just Sitting on the side blankly, full of worries. Xiangru gradually fell asleep after a painful struggle.Nian'er dragged me to her room for a secret talk.The walls of her room are covered with stills of world ballet stars, such as "Swan Lake", "The Nutcracker", "Coppelia"...the poses are different, and the faces are all replaced by Nian'er's own face - this self Love crazy, dreaming of leading the dance on stage.Normally, every time I approached Nian’er’s room, I would point to these photos and laugh at her, but now I see it, it’s not funny, but I feel horrible—these are dead women who are resurrecting their bodies, if dancing is really okay Calling the soul, then Nian'er danced all night, I don't know how many ghosts have gathered in this room to revel. "It's Bai Rutong." I told her, "The man Xiangru saw was Bai Rutong." Nian'er was stunned: "What is he here for?" "He wants to see Xiangru's room again. I met him today and lied to him that we had already rented out the house. He didn't give up and came back to the old place to see the scenery and make love again. If I had known today, why bothered ..." I sighed, my heart was also aching. Nian'er understood, "No wonder Xiangru is in such pain. She forgot about Bai Rutong, but she had an impression of that jacket, maybe it was a gift she gave him. She saw Bai Rutong, although she couldn't think of it. Knowing who he is, she still feels familiar and heartbroken, because Bai Rutong's appearance has stimulated her memory——no, if this continues, something will happen sooner or later. She must not let her see Bai Rutong again... Hurry up Just move." "Moving?" I was stunned, feeling a little bit reluctant, but I had no choice but to think, "Then, starting tomorrow, let's find an intermediary company separately." This night, I have insomnia again. For a while, I think about the resurgence of the and corn; If we are all losers, who is the winner? The wind chime in the living room rang softly, as if calling and urging.I put on my clothes and got up, and went as promised. Xiangru was typing as always, concentrating on her creation—she had nothing but the spiritual world.The only reason she came back was to create.I sat down beside her and stroked my arms, feeling a little pity for me.Anyway, this is a pair of real flesh and blood, and I can enjoy the real love in the world, even if it is not my love, even if a third party intervenes, at least I still have a real foot inserted between them. Corn won't always be mine.His love was the most insecure thing in the world, the most expensive luxury, and every minute of his pleasure was borrowed, stolen, and fleeting.Maybe it's this despair that I love——because it's rare, I long for it all the more. But I swear to myself, no matter what disasters and sorrows will happen in the future, no matter how painful the breakup is, I will never choose the road of suicide.I would rather look in the mirror every day and see myself getting older, my hair turning gray, my forehead and eyes covered with wrinkles, and I am too ugly to see others, I will not give up lightly. Why?It's so easy to pass five hurdles and cut six times in this world. It's only a few decades, but it's not worth it to leave early because of a selfish man and a failed love. There was a sound of kicking behind me, as if someone was laughing softly, my neck felt cold, and I wanted to turn around, but was too stiff to turn.I know that "they" have come, and now is their time, and I have broken into their world—it turns out that whether it is a human family or a ghost paradise, I am an intervener. With a flick of the ribbon in front of my eyes, a female ghost actually came around to me, put a hand on Xiangru's shoulder, and watched her type.I followed the eyes of "her", and saw that Xiangru was writing an article "The Biography of Li Xiangjun", and then looked at the fan in the hand of the ancient beauty. What is that burning blossom, not a peach blossom? God, it turns out that this is the famous Li Xiangjun, what a disrespect and disrespect.The famous and legendary beauty started to dance, shook her sleeves, and two peach blossoms flew down from the sleeves, turned her waist, peach blossoms also appeared on the skirt, not only the skirt sleeves, but suddenly, there was a large piece of peach blossom on the roof The petals fell from the roof, as if it were going to rain on the roof - colorful and fragrant, I was intoxicated. I stared nervously and greedily at the peach-blossom girl, remembering her hairpin headdress and flying skirt, just imagining their appearance on the silk in my brush in the Ming Dynasty is enough to be exciting.Since he is in love with Danqing, what can make a painter more fascinated than seeing the people in his paintings with his own eyes? It took half an hour for the peach blossom rain to subside, and I already understood—just as Nian'er used dance to summon the soul of Xiangru, and Xiangru used writing to summon the soul of the women in his works, and when they came here upon invitation, Singing and dancing is for me—for me to see their faces and voices clearly, so as to add color and vividness to them. No wonder night after night, I can't help running to the next door to watch the show, no wonder they come and go so frequently. It turned out that they were not malicious, on the contrary, they were friendly and tactful.They repeated this tirelessly, but they were asking me in their own way: to paint their portraits—real portraits, not imaginary ones. All along, I was too slow.As I said earlier, I am really a layman who loves dragons. Georgette, crepe de chine, crepe de chine, Hangzhou spinning, starlight spinning, silk damask, beautiful silk, soft satin, spring flower kudzu, jacquard burnt-out silk... countless crimson silk imitation yarns are piled up in front of me, which one should I choose? What about the lower cut? Infected by Xiangru's work day and night, I also have an indescribable sense of urgency.I always feel like someone is urging me, and I can't help but work hard, otherwise how to appease those souls who are determined to live forever? Xiangru uses a computer, and I use a paintbrush. What I do is the creation of resurrecting the dead.No wonder he was chosen to be the shooter and write a biography for the ghost. In the end, I chose a piece of pure silk 14101 plain crepe satin. The smooth silk material has an indescribable soft attachment on the hand.If it is made into a long skirt by using the isolation glue line rendering coloring method, it must be very beautiful and elegant. I prayed while painting: Inspiration, inspiration, maybe the so-called inspiration is the feeling that the soul gives me, then you all make mistakes, and finish these paintings for me, but don’t damage my body, or see who can make you So beautifully drawn. From the beginning of painting in the morning to the afternoon, I didn't even bother to eat the boxed lunch that the clerk bought me. It was really like a ghost.Until dusk, a picture of "Li Xiangjun's Fan Picture" was finally completed.I unfolded it, imagining how it would dance with Nian'er, and couldn't help humming.I like silk, I like to paint on colorful silk and satin, I like to see simple Tibetans presenting snow-white khata to distinguished guests, I like long silk ribbons tied to warrior knives, and I like to tie a beautiful red ribbon on the outside of the gift box. The cross knots... are beautiful and delightful in whatever form they appear. But the most beautiful posture is to wear on Nian'er's body and dance with her. Humming the song, I suddenly realized that it was actually the song of "Giselle", so I couldn't help but shut up.At this moment, Xiao Jin came. Compared with my haggard appearance, she was really excited and radiant. Before she arrived, her voice came first: "Hongyan, where have you been hiding for a while? I'll find you." Several times, you said you were busy, called the store, and said you were not in." I forced a smile on my face, because I was tired and guilty, and said a little insincerely: "Recently, something happened at home. And the construction schedule is tight, and I have to draw every day." "Don't be too busy, you have to do something with me today." Xiao Jin grabbed my wrist without any explanation, like catching a thief and catching stolen goods. I panicked even more: "What's the matter?" "Catch the rape!" Xiao Jin sneered confidently, "I can count as finding the vixen's lair today!"