Chapter 8 chapter eight

For several days, Ding Zhaoyang was surprised by my silence, he would ask: "Little Pea, why don't you like to talk?" I laughed and said I liked silence. Accompanied by the cold wind, the truth entangled in my heart, like a wet dress, gradually wrapped around my body. Outside the window, there is always the wind blowing, people are always walking on the street, time is so slow, I don’t know how to walk without colliding with the truth, what kind of psychological reserve should I have so that the moment of colliding with the truth will not hurt . When he was not at home, I sat alone, silently driving my heart to go crazy, I turned on the faucet, and listened to the time, the length of water droplets, falling into the past one by one.

One week later in the morning, I said to Ding Chaoyang, "Do you remember Ruan Jinji I told you about?" He put his hands warmly on his waist, closed his eyes, and nodded. "How about we have dinner tonight?" Ding Chaoyang opened his eyes slightly: "Oh, what program is it?" "There is no show, I just want you to get to know her. After all, she is my friend and you are my boyfriend." My tone was calm. "I'll wait for your arrangement." He was no longer sleepy, he smiled and leaned over his face, and pressed his lips on my neck. I tilted my head back and stared at the intoxication on his face, when he met Ruan Jinji See Setsuna, what will happen?

He felt my freedom, stretched out his hand, covered my eyes, his warm lips, like soft little feet, walked up and down on the skin... Then, his body was enveloped like a huge hot net... In the morning, I went to the beauty salon. The beauty salon was very quiet, Ruan Jinji was in a daze, when she saw me coming in, she raised her drooping eyelids slightly: "Are you here?" Eyes full of uncertain suspicion. Perhaps Xuan Lingxiao told her about my going to him. I dragged a chair, sat opposite her, and said, "I'm here for a beauty treatment, and I'll treat you to dinner by the way."

Oh her.He raised his head and screamed, "Little Green, Little Green..." I said who is Xiaolu? "The new beautician." As soon as she finished speaking, a fair-skinned woman jumped up, smiling beautifully, like a graceful little animal, looking at us in a panic and asking: "Manager Ruan, what are you doing?" What's up?" "Well, a skin treatment for my friend." Xiaolu looked at me with a professional smile, and as a gesture of invitation, Ruan Jinji suddenly interrupted: "Let's chat for a while, and I'll call you when we have to do it."

Xiaolu sweetly said yes, and withdrew to go out, Ruan Jinji shouted: "Close the door." She watched Xiaolu close the door, then turned her head, stared at me intently and said, "Actually, my real name is Zhu Jin." In an instant, it was my turn to panic. I never thought that Ruan Jinji would confess in such a way, without warning, making me fall into a passive position. Ruan Jinji raised her eyebrows, looked at me, and didn't speak. The pride on her brows seemed to have successfully punched me. After a while, she lowered her head and trimmed her nails again. She raised a green finger and raised it in front of me: " Is it beautiful?"

I nod. "He used to praise me for my beautiful nails." She looked at me with raised eyes. With a bang, my heart rang, and I knew who she was referring to. I bit my lip and looked at her with tears in my eyes: You have been lying to me. She hummed with her nose: "So, what do you think of me? Running up to you like an idiot and saying that the man you love is an asshole, and he hurt me under the guise of love? Then, you are the winner The posture mocked me shamelessly, should I be dumped trash?" "I didn't think you were so vicious, but you can change the way. At least you shouldn't lie to me or use me as a fool." The former woman, instead, thought she had found a sharp weapon for her own cleverness, held it, and pulled the truth in the fog, but was surrounded by the truth.

Every truth is a knife to kill the heart. How absurd my self-belief is. Ruan Jinji, no, it was Zhu Jin, who looked at me with such cold eyes, and in such cold eyes, there was a continuous flow of liquid. With tears streaming down her face, she said word by word: "You don't know how much I envy you and hate you, even though it's not your fault." The tears on her face seem to be telling the pain, yes, she once lied to me, used me, and disrupted my life, but I can't hate her, because I am a woman, because I know that love is born with love For an animal woman, the huge damage is not worth the emotional damage, which is even more bitter and unforgettable.

After a while, like a furious beast, she overturned my silent gaze: You don't have to look at me with pity. No.I shook my head slightly: "Maybe I shouldn't show up, I don't know you've been waiting for him." She stared, and suddenly poohed: "He's waiting for me?! If that's the case, I'd be willing to die. He never took me seriously, but I regarded his games as the whole of my life." Later, I called Ding Chaoyang and told him that the dinner was cancelled. In Ruan Jinji's office, I learned something about the past. 6 years ago, Ruan Jinji, no, I should call her Zhu Jin, the young Zhu Jin just graduated from a vocational school, majoring in cosmetology, she was proud and arrogant, she did not want to work as a beautician in a beauty salon, she loves makeup , It's limited to self-service, she can't do it by looking at the faces of customers in a humble way.

The enemy of a woman is always a woman. She would rather lie under a man and be full of charms than serve those old women who have money and leisure but no youth. After graduating from school, she moved between bars and beds, singing for a living. Of course, she spent the longest time in Xuan Lingxiao's bar, because with him covering her, no one would bully her. No, don’t get me wrong, she’s not a girl who’s a joke, but she’s looking for a man who’s pleasing to her eyes, and the man she’s pleasing to her eyes is interesting to her. Seeing the ambiguous ambiguity, but not going to bed with them, she likes to see the funny faces of these high-sounding men who are performing gentlemanly demeanor and thinking about how to quickly take off her clothes.

She always swayed lazily and sang on the stage of the bar, and the men in the audience screamed wildly for her silky winks. Occasionally, she would sing like a prank while peeling off her shirt inch by inch, revealing a snow-white and round body. On her shoulders and cheeks, the man in the audience called her name wave after wave: "Zhu Jin... Zhu Jin..." She proudly put a cold smile on the corner of her mouth, slowly pulled up her clothes... and sang tactfully. There will also be men with ulterior motives blocking her outside the bar. She is neither surprised nor afraid, and casually says: "I don't like men."

Most of the men would go away knowingly, but if this move failed, she would slowly unbutton her clothes on the side of the dim night street and say, "Come now?" Then, under the dumbfoundedness of the man, he covered his clothes, sneered and left. Men are always like this, they like to show heroes by conquering the city, if the city is opened, they will be at a loss, like a blind and confident person who broke into a maze without knowing east, west, north, south. In Zhu Jin's eyes, men are not scary at all, they are all sluts. They are so keen on playing heroes, trying their best to grab everything they like, and those things that are delivered to the door and are at your fingertips are too lacking in the nature of exciting games, which makes people feel boring. Therefore, married men like to have affairs, because The wife is his own, legal use, no stimulation at all.In the peaceful age without battlefields, men all regard love as a battlefield to charge forward. Whenever she is intercepted by a man with ulterior motives, she will take the initiative to send her to her body, undressing and taking off her belt, and the man will run away. They couldn't stand the cold, arrogant and precipitous mountain in the rumors, and the moment they arrived, it suddenly turned into a mound that could be walked over with one foot. At the age of 22, Zhu Jin's body is still intact and has not been successfully delivered. One autumn afternoon, the sky seemed high and far away. Zhu Jin, who was in a good mood, went to find Xuan Lingxiao. In the elevator, she met Ding Chaoyang. The reason why this slender man caught her attention was because she entered the elevator. At that moment, the man propped his head against the elevator wall, making no sound, as if he had fallen asleep.When she came back half an hour later, he was still in the elevator, his posture unchanged. Zhu Jin thought it was funny, how could he fall asleep in the elevator? She was hesitant to wake her up, the elevator reached the first floor, she hesitated for a moment, did not get out of the elevator, followed the people entering the elevator, and went up again. She followed the elevator to the top floor and then went down to the bottom floor. Ding Chaoyang still kept his original position. She decided to wake him up, so she put her hand on his shoulder: "Hey, wake up, go home and sleep." To her surprise, Ding Chaoyang slowly turned his head.She saw a pair of sad but sober eyes: "I didn't sleep." His voice was low and full of sadness. Zhu Jin opened her mouth in embarrassment and said, "I'm sorry to bother you." Ding Zhaoyang gave a weary smile, looked outside the elevator, and said nonchalantly, "Do you have time to have a glass of wine with me?" Zhu Jin knew that when she met a man full of worries, she originally wanted to refuse, but it was such a pleasure to say no. However, on this day, she couldn't bear it anymore, and felt that the word was like a knife, which would kill this sad man again. They say that in front of men, a woman's pity is the onset of motherhood. Once the motherhood is onset, the woman is about to be cheap, and once she is cheap, she loses half a beat. Only later did she know that Ding Chaoyang was her doom, and it was certain that it would happen in the autumn when she was 22 years old. In a casual restaurant in the old city, in Teresa Teng's melodious singing, she was like a quiet and obedient child, holding her chin and listening to all his stories. The rural kid who successfully broke into the city after passing the college entrance examination lived peacefully and met a gentle and rich wife. When he was always thanking God for his kindness, he suddenly knew that he would never be a father. Yes, he used his own physical defects to deprive his wife of the right to be a mother. After saying this, he looked at Zhu Jin dumbly: "I have never hated my body so much as now." Zhu Jin looked at him with a smile, not knowing what to say to comfort his heart, so she hummed Teresa Teng's song softly along with the music in the restaurant. How long have you been singing?She forgot, and only remembered that Ding Zhaoyang looked at her red lips like a fool, then slowly leaned over and kissed her gently. returned his kiss. That night, she didn't go to the bar to sing. Ding Chaoyang took her to the hotel and opened up her 22-year-old body tenderly. He was so devoted and sad, while caressing her body, he asked her if she was happy? She nodded shyly, and he asked reluctantly, "Is it true?" He had qualitative doubts about whether he could give the woman happiness, she nodded desperately, her body seemed to be floating in the clouds, drunk, every inch of her skin was so thirsty. The street lamp shone brightly in, and the moment he slowly entered the body, Zhu Jin closed her eyes, two tears slipped down quietly, she was a little sad, in the course of a woman's life, she was actually like this, to comfort a loved one Wife is full of guilt man, ends virginity. At that time, Zhu Jin didn't expect that from then on, she became a sharp and diligent shovel. In this man's heart, she not only dug a deep well of guilt towards his wife, but also dug a well of conscience .Although she sympathetically suppressed the light red flower blooming on the bed sheet under her body, the well of conscience was already there. Before leaving the hotel, Ding Chaoyang was already sober. He lowered his head, hugged her, and kept on hugging her. Only later did she know that this hug was not because of love, but that he didn't know how to deal with everything that followed. He asked her name and age. Ask about occupation again. She told the truth. He actually let out a long sigh of relief. It was only after a long time that she found out that he breathed a sigh of relief, because he suddenly felt relieved after learning that she was a woman who was making a living in the entertainment field. The women in the party are accustomed to the affairs of men and women, so how can there be any real feelings?He needn't feel guilty. They still left each other on the phone. When she got home, she saw that there was an extra stack of pink banknotes in the bag, and there was a note asking her to forgive her absurdity. Those banknotes were placed on the bed one by one by her. She sat on the floor, looked at them, and cried. She is not the kind of person who must leave her virginity to her husband, she just hasn't found a suitable person to give it to her, but she can't bear such humiliation, which is different from those who sit naked on the bar sofa, What's different about the prostitutes who are up for grabs?Let the man weigh this body with his eyes and sell it at a price. She has always looked down on these women, thinking that they are like a pile of meat that has lost its dignity. Whoever can afford it can take it back and ravage it before throwing it out. Everything that can be sold at a price is cheap. Only things that cannot be measured by money are noble, such as love, no amount of money can make one person love another person unconditionally. Of course, at that time, she never expected to be loved by Ding Chaoyang, and she didn't love him either. They were just a couple with a story in the accidental encounter. He can not love her, but she forbids him to disrespect her. Not only did he disrespect her, he even blasphemed her by using that wad of money. She decided to call him and reprimand him. She couldn't do what the Hong Kong female writer said, seeing through the indifference of the world. When someone wants to use money to humiliate herself, then let him humiliate her. Waist, pick up the money, what is it? In the eyes of the 22-year-old woman, physical relationships are as clean and sacred as love. She shocked him violently, and he responded in a daze, as if he had long forgotten that he had reached the depths of this woman's body on a certain dark night. How could she not be angry? She scolded him on the phone and asked him to take away his stinky money, otherwise, she would wait for him at the elevator entrance of the apartment building every day. His voice dropped all the way... She met Ding Chaoyang again, and they met in a teahouse. She saw his dodging eyes, and with a aggressive gesture, she took out the money, counted one by one, and slammed it in front of him: "It's a lot." Ding Chaoyang put it away and said, "You misunderstood me." "It should be me who said you insulted me." Her nostrils flickered because of anger. Ding Zhaoyang solemnly apologized to her, and she didn't make things difficult for him anymore. For some reason, the depression in his eyes made her feel a little distressed, and she always wanted to put his palms around his face, which she really did. Looking at her, he also closed his hands. That night, she didn't go to sing again. There were many nights when she stopped going to the bar to sing, and she became more and more infatuated with this big boy-like man, which was a strange feeling, obviously, he was 8 years older than her. She liked it so much under her mischief, a smile finally appeared on his face, and that smile gave her a sense of accomplishment. Gradually, Ding Chaoyang seemed to understand that she was not that kind of frivolous girl, and he felt more and more distressed when he treated her. One night, he said, "From now on, don't go to the bar to sing again." Her heart warmed. No one had ever told her about this, not even her mother. Her favorite thing was to check the numbers in her passbook and help her count the cash in her wallet.As for how the money came from, she didn't care. My mother wanted to be rich and hated rich people very much. With the ideal of being a rich man, the mother married a married man. In order to force him to divorce, she deliberately became pregnant and refused to have an abortion. The result was that after Zhu Jin was born, the man ran away. Ding Chaoyang said that good girls should not hang out in sensual places. She went to Ding Chaoyang's company to work as a clerk, and not long after, she became the manager of a specialty store smoothly. It seemed that she had some vanity, but she was not happy. Because she couldn't stand someone sharing Ding Chaoyang with her. She wanted to be with him, all the time, even if it turned into a lighter, a piece of paper, as long as he could carry it with him majestically. Every time they have sex on a date, Ding Chaoyang will take a nap, and then she will wake him up, and go home fully dressed without leaving any traces.Watching his back gradually disappearing into the night, her heart felt desolate like being abandoned by the whole world. Slowly, she began to think about it. When Ding Zhaoyang fell asleep, she slept with him, deliberately letting him sleep very late; she also deliberately hid his mobile phone, wrapped it in a quilt On the first floor, in this way, Xu Zhilan could not hear him when he called him. As the number of times increased, Ding Chaoyang gradually realized that he had begun to distance himself either explicitly or secretly. He underestimated Zhu Jin too much, she was so young and energetic, she had always been the one to defeat the world, which round would she admit defeat? She is like a bad child, the more Ding Zhaoyang wants to cover up the betrayal so that no one will know, the more she will destroy it.Guessing that Ding Chaoyang might be at home, she made a phone call on purpose. She was fearless, hoping to arouse Xu Zhilan's suspicion. However, Xu Zhilan seemed to be pretending to be deaf and blind, and what Zhu Jin wished to happen never happened. In the end, it was Ding Chaoyang who was annoyed. He told her to put away all her dark schemes and coldly forced her to resign. She asked for money as she wished, but don't expect him to get a divorce. As a last resort, she resigned, sent Ding Chaoyang the money on her card, and returned it intact. She still went to the bar to sing, deliberately flirting with men, thinking that this would make Ding Chaoyang unbearable, so she came to beg She doesn't want to be like this, after all, they were so close once. The fact is, she once again overestimated herself. Ding Zhaoyang didn't come. She felt that she was cheated. In Ding Zhaoyang's place, she was once a piece of white and sterile gauze. When he was traumatized, she picked her up and pasted her on the wound. Later, he threw away a broken rag, Abandoned her with no guilt, no appreciation. She frantically wanted to take revenge on him, and tried every means to get close to Xu Zhilan. After learning that Xu Zhilan was a member of a certain fitness club, she immediately became a member of that club. Then, he successfully met Xu Zhilan and became friends with her. After saying this, Zhu Jin drank a cup of tea calmly: "Have you ever loved someone so much that you didn't even count the cost of your life?" I thought about it, and it seems that there is not, even if it is Ding Chaoyang, I am born with a tragic character, and I am used to being calm. I admit that I am infatuated with the time with Ding Chaoyang, but I will not count the cost of life for love. What is the shocking love?It's just a man and a woman fighting for the right to sleep in the same bed.Such thoughts make me desolate, this is the truth of love.All the thorns and thorns are just to please yourself by enjoying the other party. Zhu Jin said with a sighing voice: "My purpose of approaching her is to let her see through the truth of the so-called false happiness and leave Ding Chaoyang. If she can't, then give me a chance and be killed by me." I was surprised by her confession, but I also know that the so-called confession is not the last choice with no way out, but that some confessions are the best way to hide one's eyes. She smiled lightly: "Xu Zhilan is a nice woman, but love can make one's conscience faint. When I'm with her, what I think about the most is how to kill her invisible." "You are with her, does Ding Chaoyang know?" "I know." She squeezed out the tea leaves from the bottom of the cup and placed them one by one on the table: "He was very scared. He came to me and had good things to say. He said that I can do whatever I want, as long as I don't destroy his relationship with Zhilan. It's ridiculous, when we were in love, why didn't he think about it, having an affair is like buying a car for the convenience of getting in and out, but scratches and scratches are always inevitable, having an affair is like driving a car, the ultimate goal is to be happy , being discovered by my wife is the most likely accident." "Did you know that Xu Zhilan and Xuan Lingxiao later dated?" Zhu Jin blankly divided the tea leaves on the table into a handful: "I just found out recently that Xuan Lingxiao was friendly with her and wanted to correct her sexual orientation and seduced her, while Xu Zhilan was friendly with him probably because of Be lonely, she doesn't go to work, and Ding Chaoyang doesn't stay at home all day. When she was first pregnant, she didn't know that the child was not Ding Chaoyang's. I asked my cousin, and he was also puzzled. When he was with Xu Zhilan, did he adopt With defensive measures, the child is likely to belong to Gu Fuli... Ding Zhaoyang came to me uncharacteristically after he decided to break up. He was always drunk and didn't say anything except sex. I thought he would let go after trying. I didn't let me go, so I came back to look for me. In fact, I realized later that Xu Zhilan was pregnant when he knew he couldn't make Xu Zhilan pregnant. There was nowhere to vent his inner distress, so that I misunderstood it as It is really possible to be with him for the rest of my life before I have the courage to do stupid things." This was the first time I heard Gu Fuli's name from Zhu Jin's mouth, and I looked at her quietly without interrupting. Zhu Jin said that she once murdered Xu Zhilan. When they were swimming together, she secretly poured a deadly chemical into Xu Zhilan's refreshing spray. . As she continued to swim with Xu Zhilan, she became more and more afraid, so afraid that she would have hallucinations. She felt that Xu Zhilan swimming in the water was a pale corpse, floating in the water, and Zhu Jin's face gradually turned pale. When he touched her with fingers that were cold from swimming for too long, she screamed and jumped up, and fled to the shore in a hurry. Xu Zhilan, who didn't know where she was, asked her in surprise what's wrong? Drenched in cold sweat, she couldn't say a word, so she hurried into the locker room, changed her clothes, and ran out of the swimming pool. Running on the scorching sun street, the more she thought about it, the more frightened she became, and she always felt that there was a cold wind lingering behind her. She ran faster and faster, and was almost knocked down by a car when she was crossing the road. Under the driver's scolding, Leng Ding woke up, sat on the curb and dialed Ding Zhaoyang's phone. On that early autumn afternoon, many people saw a graceful woman sitting on the curb in embarrassment, holding her mobile phone and crying loudly. The great fear made her unable to speak a word, she just kept crying. Ding Chaoyang on the other end of the phone was in a hurry, and finally got angry and asked her sharply what was wrong. She sobbed and told him what had happened. Ding Zhaoyang slammed the phone down. Then, he never contacted her again. She called him, but he didn't answer. She went to him, but he ignored her.However, after a few days, Xu Zhilan called and asked her to go swimming, and she let go of her hanging heart. They went swimming together, Xu Zhilan looked like she was kept in the dark, and had no ill will towards her. Zhu Jin deliberately led her to talk about her husband, Xu Zhilan smiled frankly, and said his kindness like every other, it seems that no matter how hard she tried to make Xu Zhilan suspect Ding Chaoyang of having an affair, it was all in vain.All along, Xu Zhilan's trust in Ding Chaoyang is like a child's trust in his father. Zhu Jin tried her best to listen with a smile on her face. Slowly, tears welled up in her eyes, and Xu Zhilan asked her what was wrong. She wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and said that no one has ever treated me so well.Putting her hand on Xu Zhilan's, "I envy you, really." Xu Zhilan smiled calmly, Leng Ding remembered, and asked her: "What happened in the swimming pool that day?" Her face turned pale all of a sudden, and she stumbled and said, "That day I seemed to be possessed by an evil spirit, and I always felt that there was a cold wind haunting me." Xu Zhilan hummed, looked at her for a while, and then slowly said: "That day, everyone was very strange. I just came out of the swimming pool, and my husband came running out of breath. When he saw me, a word Not to mention, he snatched my handbag and turned it over, took out my refreshing spray and asked me if I used it, I said no, he threw it away immediately, and asked me not to strike up a conversation with strangers casually , I asked him what happened? He seemed a little angry, and said that he just saw a report in the newspaper saying that some people will deliberately strike up a conversation with strangers, and put drugs in drinks or something when they are not prepared..." As she spoke, she looked at Zhu Jin with a smile: "He always treats me like a child, am I that stupid?" Zhu Jin looked at me: "At that time, my heart was full of guilt, and I told her sincerely that there are really bad people in this world, and they always appear kind. Said that she never provoked others, and bad people would not bear to attack a weak person like her." At that moment, I really decided to let go and never have any delusions about Ding Chaoyang again, but, you know?Love is a kind of mental illness. When two people fall ill together, everyone is happy. If only one person falls ill, it is a tragedy. Reason cannot manage the onset of mental illness. "Later, did you attack Xu Zhilan again?" "No, but I told Ding Chaoyang that the more he loves her, the more I hate her. Love is like blood rejection. If you don't reject it until you die, you won't stop. Unless I give up on Ding Chaoyang, I told him, Sooner or later, I will kill Xu Zhilan. Even if Xu Zhilan dies, it is not for me, but for him. If you want Xu Zhilan to die, let him come, anyway, he has had enough of this kind of life." That night, Ding Zhaoyang found Zhu Jin. That night, they made love crazily until the early hours of the morning without saying anything. It was the same for the next few nights. Zhu Jin began to suspect that Ding Zhaoyang said this to comfort herself, so she scolded him, scolding him for teasing her like a goofy monkey. Ding Zhaoyang looked at her wearily, and said, "How could it be? I already have a plan." That night, Ding Chaoyang smoked a lot. Zhu Jin asked him if he really wanted to kill Xu Zhilan and the reason for killing Xu Zhilan. He smiled and said, "Does death need a reason? Also, emotionally, I have I have harmed Zhu Jin, and I don’t want to further harm her, so let him alone bear all the crimes.” Then, he talked about his plan and bought some anesthetic injections through abnormal channels. This kind of injection is colorless and tasteless. Normal people will have heart disease symptoms if they take a small amount of it. Moreover, no medical method can detect it. He plans to reduce the dose. After using it a few times, people around thought that Xu Zhilan was really suffering from a heart attack. The last time, she used a large dose to induce a massive myocardial infarction in her heart. In this way, in the eyes of others, she just died of a heart attack. No one would think of murder. Zhu Jin was dumbfounded by his invisible plan to kill people. For the first time, this seemingly elegant man made her feel cold and frightened. Ding Zhaoyang asked her to spend less time with Xu Zhilan in order to avoid suspicion. After that, Zhu Jin never asked Xu Zhilan again, Xu Zhilan asked her out, she found an excuse to refuse.During that time, she seemed calm, but her heart was extremely fanatical, wandering on the edge of crime and punishment every day, waiting for the good news from Ding Chaoyang. A month passed with no news. Zhu Jin finally got impatient and called Ding Chaoyang, but Ding Chaoyang didn't answer. She felt that she was being fooled again. Just call Xu Zhilan and ask her out to chat. The healthy and ruddy Xu Zhilan she saw once again confirmed her guess. What made her even more shocked was that Xu Zhilan told her with a happy face that she was pregnant and would be a mother in 7 months. She looked at Xu Zhilan in surprise: "You...are pregnant...?" Xu Zhilan smiled: "Yeah, why are you so surprised? For a married woman, pregnancy is a perfectly normal thing." Zhu Jin kept oh oh oh, her thoughts were in a mess and she couldn't say a word, her mind was full of what was going on, and whose child was she pregnant with? They ate together, Zhu Jin was absent-minded, and wished she could run to Ding Zhaoyang immediately and tell him that Xu Zhilan was not as pure and flawless as he imagined, her virtue was just faking, and he was wearing a huge green hat! Xu Zhilan is still immersed in the joy of becoming a mother soon, she doesn't know her thoughts at all, and ramblingly imagines the happy life after becoming a mother. It was so easy for her to finish talking, Zhu Jinfei also rushed out, called Ding Chaoyang, and said, "You don't have to feel guilty about Xu Zhilan anymore, she is pregnant with a child." She thought she would hear Ding Chaoyang's voice of grief and indignation, but she didn't, he said flatly, I knew it a long time ago. "Why is that? Artificial insemination?" Ding Chaoyang said, "This is none of your business." After finishing speaking, she hung up the phone neatly, and Zhu Jin stood on the street stupidly, like a child who had been tricked and fainted, her grief and anger rose up inch by inch like a slow tide, submerging her. She finally understood that the reason why Ding Zhaoyang refused to divorce and marry had nothing to do with Xu Zhilan's gentleness and virtuousness. Perhaps, he valued her father's family business more. The so-called lust is just a man's entertainment, career. This is their top priority. How could he be willing to leave behind such a huge business and start from a humble beginning? In Ding Zhaoyang's life, she was just a pawn of lust picked at random, used to amuse the boredom of life when she had nothing to do, if she wanted to let this pawn put aside the background of glory behind her, it was absolutely impossible. She felt as if she had fallen into an endless series of traps, one chain after another, endlessly entangled in hatred and hatred, and she was trapped in circles and circles. She couldn't care less about Ding Chaoyang's face anymore, she went to the door of the company and stood there for most of the afternoon, waiting until Ding Chaoyang came out, walked up to him, and said expressionlessly: "I want to talk to you." Ding Chaoyang didn't lose his temper, he opened the car door calmly and let her come in. They were sitting cross-legged on the kang of a villager in a rural restaurant in the suburbs, drinking and chatting late into the night. Ding Zhaoyang already knew that Xu Zhilan was pregnant, and also knew that the child was not his, but he didn't expose it. He said that he had no right to deprive her of the right to be a mother, but he didn't want to wear this shameful green hat to the end, which was why he wanted to kill Xu Zhilan so violently. He wanted to do it himself, not simply to keep Zhu Jin out of trouble. Alcohol made Zhu Jin see all the humiliation and pain hidden in his heart. She no longer suspected that his intention to kill Xu Zhilan was out of perfunctory. That night, they fought over who was the killer, and finally, they hugged each other and cried, for the spirit of daring to take responsibility for each other. After another half month, Zhu Jin felt that things were not going as smoothly as she thought, because when she called Ding Chaoyang, he always faltered, talked left and right, and cared about other things, without mentioning the murder process. She hung up the phone angrily, and decided to take a risk, using the media to tell Xu Zhilan to collapse. She knew that Xu Zhilan subscribed a lot of newspapers to fill her emptiness. She called the newspaper, and as a painful third party, she told the story between herself and Ding Chaoyang, and revealed the privacy of Ding Chaoyang's infertility and the absurdity of Xu Zhilan's pregnancy... After the content of the confession was published, Xu Zhilan asked her out again. She looked very calm, as if she had never read the newspaper at all, but the careful Zhu Jin still noticed the darkness in her eyes, like a sky covered with dark clouds. They drank coffee in the cafe for a while and went shopping together. Xu Zhilan bought a lot of clothes and stayed in the fitting room for a long time. When she came out, there seemed to be signs of crying on her face. That is, after that date, she never saw Xu Zhilan again, and after a while, she saw Ding Chaoyang's notice of finding a wife in the newspaper. She covered her wide-open mouth and read the notice word by word, tears streaming down her fingers. Xu Zhilan disappeared. After she calmed down, she called Ding Chaoyang, but he calmly and calmly said that she had completed the formalities for her to study abroad. she asked why? Ding Chaoyang said, "Because Xu Zhilan is missing." "You killed her?" she asked bluntly. "No, it's just missing." Half a month later, Zhu Jin boarded the flight to England full of joy. She believed that Ding Chaoyang did not come to see him off because he did not want to arouse suspicion and involve her in this murder case that might be uncovered. She decided that Xu Zhilan's disappearance was just a synonym for death. She waited year after year in England, waiting for Ding Zhaoyang to invite her back and propose to her. Year after year passed, Ding Zhaoyang kept silent, she asked Ding Zhaoyang when she should come back, Ding Zhaoyang said lightly why should she come back?He was tired and no longer had the strength to fall in love with someone. I used to think that this was true, and I also thought that perhaps Xu Zhilan's betrayal had chilled his heart and caused him to resist marriage.Zhu Jin burst into tears: "But, I found out later that I was fooled. The reason for me to go to England was not for my sake, but a way to get rid of me! He is too insidious." "So you got plastic surgery and came back to take revenge on him?" I asked in a low voice. "No, plastic surgery is to appear in front of him with a brand new look. I would rather let him fall in love with me as a stranger than lose him, but when I came back, I found you by his side!" Eyes with tears looked at me aggressively: "You don't know what it feels like when I hear the voices of your mutual courtship faintly at night. When the voices of your happiness reach me, everything becomes I picked up a pair of sharp willow-leaf knives, and every sound was a knife cutting my heart. Even if the whole world thinks that Xu Zhilan is missing, I have sufficient reasons to believe that he killed Xu Zhilan, so I pretended to be a ghost,因为他知道许芝兰死了，因为我看不得他幸福，我要让他惶惶不可终日，我要让他崩溃！” 爱情是种很脆弱的东西，很多时候它打不赢距离也更打不赢时间。面对悲愤交加到疯狂的朱槿，我无法把谴责的话说出口：“如果可以，我替丁朝阳向你道歉。” “这样的事，怎么可以替代，那么谁代他向死去的许芝兰赎罪？他杀死了她，并不是为我，而是为了他可怜的自尊。” “既然这样坚信，你怎没报警？”话一出口，我就怕了，难道我真的人心让警察带走这个给了我暖爱与我朝夕相伴的男人？ 朱槿从我低垂怯懦的眼神里读透了我的心，目光一寸寸缓软：“求你，别这么说，我很怕有那么一天，我再也管不住自己，去报了警，我不愿意那样，不愿意，我知道我很疯狂，但我的疯狂不是为了毁灭他，是想重新得到他的爱。” 我们怔怔对望，恍然地，泪眼相对。 从美容院出来，忽然地，我觉得一切竟是这样荒唐，同一个男人的现情与旧爱相对泪流满面，是多么的乖戾。 我没有抱怨丁朝阳的隐瞒，许芝兰是从法律上写进他人生的女人，无可回避，他亦无法瞒我，对我隐瞒了朱槿，是不想让我太是难过吧？毕竟，他与朱槿也是在我之前，从朱槿的叙述里，我不难体味得到，他和朱槿，不过是一个苦闷男人的娱乐，与爱无关。 陷进爱情里的女人，是多么善于自我宽慰，譬如，现在的李豌豆。 一路昏昏沉沉地回家，以后会怎样？ I have no idea. 只在打开家门时，突兀地，就觉得这熟悉了半年多的房子里，有股阴沉的冷。 我不愿相信朱槿的推测，只是因为我爱丁朝阳，我不愿他是个杀人犯，即使全世界都这么认为，我也不愿。 我那么自私地愿意，许芝兰的失踪或是死亡，成为一个永远不再有人追究的迷。 让它永远沉寂，我只想要安好平静的生活。 可，这样的结局，朱槿不允许，不知所踪的许芝兰是她的武器，被她用来逼迫丁朝阳妥协，得到失去的爱。 我茫然地萎靡在沙发里，手机响了，是那个神秘号码，我接起来，朱槿说：“是我。” 我没说话，呼吸浅微。 “今天的事，你会告诉丁朝阳吗？”她声音温和而平静。 我说不知道。我没有说谎，我不知道该不该告诉丁朝阳，也不知是否该质问他，因为我恐惧着质问之后的结局，是回天无力的全盘皆乱。 “别告诉他，你就当依然是阮锦姬好么？”她带着低低的乞求。 “你为什么要打电话给他？” “告诉他我回来了，我要一直诅咒他，他的恶梦将重新开始。” “你这么做有什么意义呢？” “我恨他，不想让他得到肆无忌惮的快乐。” “或许他的快乐只是表面上的形式，他的内心，未必真的快乐，如果他真的做了你以为他做过的事情的话。” 她顿了一下，说：“也许吧。” “不要再给他打电话了，好么？算我求你一次。”我没底气地说。 她沉吟了一下：“好的，或许我不该这样，知道这一切后，你还能把我当朋友待么？” "I have no idea." “你走后，我想了很多，或许，我该放下仇恨，这些年我快被生长在心里的仇恨挤压崩溃了，我总是那么不甘，不甘又能怎样？他不爱朱槿，从来都没爱过，我却把他当成了唯一的幸福天堂。” 我握着电话，长长地沉默，她也是。 末了，我问：“为什么辞退小叶子？” “我不喜欢她身上的那股机灵劲，人太机灵了就是犯贱，怎么突然关心起她了？”她沉吟了一下。 “今天在店里没看见她，突然想问。”其实我很想说，她辞退小叶子的真正原因是她告诉我她去派出所了，那是她不想让任何人知道的情节，因为这个貌似简单的失窃案背后，有个致命的真相，是她竭力要隐瞒的……