Chapter 43 Chapter 42 Beijing, Beijing

When lilacs are swaying throughout the campus, early summer is here. Jiang Baili often updates her photos with yaks in Qinghai.It is said that the boy she fell in love with returned to Beijing for a job in a big company within a few weeks of arriving there, and has never been heard from since. However, Luo Zhi didn't see Jiang Baili being too depressed, and she said that she could do whatever she wanted. Cry to the yak. "I just realized how tragic it was when I was a freshman," Jiang Baili wrote in a text message. "You never even put a P, and the yak occasionally responds to me by barking twice."

Luo Zhi would occasionally receive text messages from Ding Shuijing, and as usual, they would be filled with thoughts and complaints just like letters. The difference is that now she will basically reply.I also went to 798 with Xu Riqing and Zhang Mingrui, of course, separately. She moved to the legal department of a Fortune 500 company as an intern. Since she had not yet graduated and could not take the CPA exam, she had to sign up for the exam in Bengbu, Anhui, where the qualification requirements are not strict, so she basically spent her free time studying. , but also feel at ease. Sometimes I exchange emails with Zhu Yan and video chat with two children.

But Sheng Huainan was never mentioned. Until one Saturday afternoon, when Luo Zhi was about to finish working overtime, her cell phone rang suddenly.She thought it was a call back from the ticket agency, so she answered it without even looking at it. "Hello!" "Luo Zhi." White luminescence, 43 unread emails marked next to the inbox, the touch of high heels sinking into the floor, the sound of paper spitting out from the printer next to it, the silhouettes of colleagues walking back and forth outside the glass curtain wall of the conference room... These barriers that paralyzed and protected her collapsed in an instant with the call from the phone.

Before Luo Zhi reached the exit, she saw Sheng Huainan. The fair and clean young man stood beside the credit card machine at the exit, his figure disappeared in the crowd, with green stubble appearing on his thin face, when he saw her, he curled the corners of his mouth and smiled like the wind in late spring. She walked quickly, but had to take a detour along the guardrail, he was behind the crowd, following her route, separated by the guardrail and crowds of heads, they seemed to walk along the two banks of the river, and glimpsed each other through the gap The figure flashed by. Luo Zhi finally stood in front of him.

An hour ago, on the phone, Sheng Huainan asked her, "Do you know where I can see Beijing?" Luo Zhi felt that the voice came from another world. She looked up at the wall clock on the wall, and said softly, "Yes, I know a place where I can see Beijing." After such a long time, they did not talk about the recent situation, nor did they greet each other. They were talking about Beijing. At half past five in the afternoon, Jingshan. They are like an ordinary tourist couple who come to visit, but they are not holding hands.They don't talk much, but they are not unfamiliar, as if everything in the middle has been put on hold for the time being, and it doesn't affect them to pick up this moment directly.

It wasn't the first time Luo Zhi came here, so she walked faster and led him through the sparsely populated garden.This park is really not big, and there are no particularly beautiful views. You can see the mountain when you open the door, and the mountain is surprisingly short. Walking up the stone steps, you can reach the top in only fifteen minutes. All the mountaintops in China are but pavilions. "I heard that there is a tree at the foot of this mountain where Chongzhen hanged himself, but I don't know where it is." "What do you think the emperor was thinking when he committed suicide?"

"How do I know?" Luo Zhi smiled, "The army is defeated like a mountain, and he is a person who has been aloof all his life. How can we know what is in his heart. But no matter what it is, it is nothing more than despair." Nothing but despair. She knew she had made a slip of the tongue, and felt that he would not be so fragile, so she just talked with her mouth, and didn't say anything else to comfort her. The high-heeled shoes kicked and tapped, and she slammed on the rough and uneven granite stone steps. She let out a cry of surprise, leaned back and almost fell down. Fortunately, Sheng Huainan held her waist steadily.

Luo Zhi had lingering fears, while Sheng Huainan looked at her clothes thoughtfully: "Are you doing an internship?" "Well, I just worked overtime today." "How do you climb mountains with these shoes?" "The mountain is not high, it's all stone steps, I just need to be careful." After Luo Zhi finished speaking, she stepped back her left foot a little bit, and found that the heel of her foot had indeed been rubbed with blood blisters. Sheng Huainan frowned, walked up to the next step without saying a word, and slowly squatted down with his back facing her.

"I'll carry you on my back." She froze in place until he turned around and smiled at her: "Hurry up, don't dawdle!" Luo Zhi took off her shoes, walked over with them in her hands, and gently leaned on his back.The boy's body is no longer purely the fragrance of washing powder, but also the smell of youthful sweat, lying on his broad back like her.The weight of Luo Zhi's whole body was pressed on his back, her chin rested on the socket of his left shoulder, and her heart was burning hot. The narrow stone path winds up until the stone steps become wider and the pavilion can be seen in the distance.The high heels in her hand swayed with his steps.She began to wear high heels, began to change, began to become peaceful, began to accept different people into her life, made friends, joked, and stopped weighing every gain and loss on the scale of dignity.

These are all good things. But it's not as good as this road can't go to the end. When we reached the top of the mountain, it was just the setting sun. There were handrails and wooden benches on all sides of the pavilion. He found a random direction, first put her on the chair and sat down, and then sat beside her.There were only the two of them and an uncle who put his legs on the guardrail and hung his voice while pressing down in the whole pavilion.The uncle was wearing a denim half-sleeved shirt tied into his belt, and his self-satisfied look infected Sheng Huainan, and his face suddenly became alive under the afterglow of the setting sun.

"I thought it was only in the morning that it was appropriate to open your voice." He laughed. "Which direction are we facing?" Luo Zhi ignored him, and was feeling confused all by herself, when the uncle suddenly stopped singing, pointed to the west-slanting sun and said, "Girl, let me tell you something about you." Luo Zhi hurriedly lowered her head, but Sheng Huainan finally burst out laughing. Barefoot, she swayed back and forth in the air, with a haughty and innocent posture, leaning on his shoulder, watching the setting sun melt into the tall buildings and clouds, forming an ambiguous cloud of fire. On the other side of the sky, stars have already lit up. "I've been here before, and I've looked at the map very seriously, and I'll tell you about it!" Facing the misty sunlight, with her back against the approaching gray-blue sky, she suddenly became flamboyant, smiling unreservedly. "it is good." "look." "To the south is the Forbidden City. To the south of the Forbidden City, you can see Chang'an Avenue. From east to west, it is endless." "You can see Xidan in all directions. If you look hard, you might be able to find me sweating and waiting for the traffic lights in the crowd at the big crossroad near the subway. Our school is also in the northwest, although I even sometimes doubt that the iron-clad Whether or not the big construction site is considered part of Beijing, naturally I’m afraid you won’t be able to see it from here.” "I can see the International Trade Center in the east, which is bustling. The east-west streets converge in front of my eyes, like a Y shape. The north-south vertical line below connects Jingshan where we are, and the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square in the south." It's here, it's all here. She was talking slowly, telling him everything she could recognize.Until the evening wind blew away the setting sun, until the uncle with a hanging voice disappeared at some point, the sky became quiet, and the lights on Chang'an Street were lit up one by one. Tiananmen Square, the Great Hall of the People, and many other majestic and magnificent places that she couldn't distinguish, and she never wanted to visit even though she had stayed in Beijing for two years. It is always overcrowded, and there are countless teams of people who have curiosity and dreams in this city. They line up in front of all kinds of ugly buildings and statues, and make V-sign gestures, leaving proof that they have something to do with this city. . Then some people choose to stay, and some people just want to take a look, and they are satisfied. She didn't know if it was Beijing or not. The lights of China World Trade Center and Xidan are also lit up. There are many high-rise buildings, doing their own thing, like two groups of indifferent people with their hands behind their backs, facing each other from a distance. So is that Beijing? Or, is Beijing the Forbidden City that is as dark as an ocean under the night in front of you? Or, the future of Beijing is indeed in the invisible corner of the northwest, because there are countless young people who come to conquer it? Or in the hutongs that she will never know so well, along the shore behind the tricycle uncle, walking birds, playing the erhu, and talking about current affairs at the foot of the Forbidden City? Where else can they go to see Beijing. "My senior brother told me that there is a very tall building near China World Trade Center, and the urinal of the men's toilet on the highest floor there," she paused embarrassedly, continued, "it faces a piece of glass, floor-to-ceiling windows, and you can see Very beautiful night view of Beijing." Sheng Huainan laughed loudly: "That will really give people the feeling that they pissed on the whole of Beijing." Luo Zhi clapped her hands and shouted: "Yes, that's the sentence. They often say when they are depressed, let's go, go pee in Beijing!" This inelegant remark actually made both of them excited. "I didn't expect that I would leave Beijing like this." Sheng Huainan looked fascinated by the lights of Wanjia in all directions, his voice was low, but not very sad. Luo Zhi learned from Zhu Yan's email that they finally managed to complete the formalities.Under the strong request of Sheng Huainan's mother, he still complied with his mother's wish and planned to go to Singapore with Zhu Yan, where he was working part-time while preparing to apply for university. "There's nothing wrong with this. I believe it's a blessing in disguise, especially when the protagonist is you." He smiled gratefully. "What have you been doing this year?" Luo Zhi asked softly. Sheng Huainan didn't answer, but stood up, walked in front of her, and said solemnly: "I came to you today, hoping to replace my parents, and say sorry to you and your mother in front of you." Luo Zhi didn't look at him, nor showed a trace of surprise, but just looked into the distance and asked him softly: "You know everything?" "At that time, I went home to attend the funeral for my grandfather and grandpa. I saw my father was taken away from home. There were too many evidences against them. My mother didn't even mention any of them to me. Maybe she didn't want me to see They have too many unbearable sides. Although I have seen enough." Luo Zhi didn't know if anyone had seen Sheng Huainan like this before, he was honest but not fragile, as if he was finally going to show everything to her. "It was only after I asked many uncles and uncles who had a good relationship with my father at the time that I found out about it. Of course, I said that there were many, but in fact they all rejected me. In the end, only one person saw me." Sheng Huainan's shoulders have lost a lot of weight. When he was carrying her on his back, Luo Zhi could already feel the shoulder blades pressing against her throat. "My mother suffered from hyperthyroidism, she was terribly thin, her eyes were protruding, she was very energetic, and she cried at home day and night. I ran to ask all the people who might help, but all were rejected. Dad's business is over, there is no room for it, but I want to save my mother, she is just a doctor, she has been trying to stop my dad for so many years, but it has not been successful, after all, it is her husband, and Her husband who hasn't spoken for several years, she...I don't want her to pay this price when she has nothing." Sheng Huainan scratched his head, sighed, and smiled awkwardly. "But I don't have the skills. I don't even know who to ask for this kind of thing. I was poked in the security room of other people's community and was ridiculed like a fool. The world is cold, my so-called excellence and ability, It’s all based on a stable foundation, once it’s destroyed, I’m just an idiot, and I won’t even ask security to accommodate me.” His voice was still very nice, with a youthful high-spirited and clean, even when he talked about embarrassing things, he still had an understatement. But Luo Zhi understood everything, and seemed to see him at that time. "Finally, I grabbed hold of the straw and lost my degree. My mother was so angry that she coughed up blood and passed out. Fortunately, I took care of her for four months, and finally, she was fine. " "After she recovered, I mentioned you to her. I said that I needed to go to Beijing and return to the south to give you an explanation. She thought for a while after listening, and passed out again." "It was Zhu Yan who told me later." He also called her Zhu Yan, not aunt. "I just went to ask my mother. She admitted that my father was responsible for the purchase and got a lot of kickbacks. The problem with that batch of machines was serious, and several of them were almost scrapped. You Dad's accident was the machine's fault. It was also my dad's fault." He paused for a long time, took a deep breath, and said slowly: "It's because he is too greedy and shameless, he despises human life." However, in the end, the accident was determined to be an operational error, leaving the job without authorization, and the responsibility fell on Luo Zhi's father. "All I can do is to say sorry to you and your mother instead of them." Sheng Huainan wrote seriously, his eyes reflected the lights in the distance, as if they would go out at any moment. That was his father, no matter how clear the truth was, no matter how hard the evidence was, it was like reading someone else's story, and then using the greed and shamelessness of the strange man in the story to describe the image of the father in his heart who was still deeply emotional—— "Okay, I will accept it for my mother." Luo Zhi was also extremely solemn. "What you should undertake yourself has already been done." Sheng Huainan gently held her hand, and Luo Zhi found that those hands were no longer as warm and dry as before, but were like the hands of a drowning man grabbing straws for life. She could only hold him tighter. "Until now, I still feel that this is like listening to other people's affairs, although I know in my heart that those conveniences in life, too easy opportunities, even including the car to and from school, are outside the rules. But it is also true. I am used to it. I know that he is not completely upright, and I even appreciate his flexibility in many cases. But I never thought that this kind of thing was actually done by him." Luo Zhi knew how difficult it was for him to say these simple sentences.She gently stroked his back until his stiff shoulders slowly relaxed, turned her face sideways, and smiled gratefully at her. "I didn't contact you during the time when I went home and after my degree was canceled. I know you are looking for me, but the last person I don't want to face is you." "I know." "I'm afraid you pity you." "In your heart, sympathy is the same as contempt?" "I can't look down on you, and I can't sympathize. I don't know how I want you to treat me, especially when I don't know how to treat myself." Luo Zhi heard the sound of helicopters, and dragonflies in the night sky flew over the dark Forbidden City. "Especially after Zhu Yan told me about this matter, I don't understand even more. Since you know everything, why are you with me? Sometimes I have a whim, and wonder if you are preparing to avenge your father What? Of course, I'm too stupid to think this way, but I really don't understand." "Then you appear now because you have thought clearly?" She didn't answer his question, but asked instead. Sheng Huainan raised his head in confusion to look at the propeller hovering above his head: "I don't know, I just want to see you all of a sudden." I just want to see you all of a sudden. "That's it, I don't have any reason." Luo Zhi smiled, "I just like you." Sheng Huainan didn't smile, the wind blew his T-shirt up, as if it would fly away in a second. "Luo Zhi." He just called her name without saying anything. Luo Zhi stood up suddenly, stepped on the ground with her bare feet, leaned against the fence, faced Sheng Huainan, and smiled contentedly. "Be careful of catching a cold." "It's not that delicate. When I was young, I fought with others, but they choked each other's necks and rolled all the way into the mud pit." Hearing this, Sheng Huainan broke away from the emotional swing just now, and said with a smile, "Come on, stop bragging." "I fight really hard." "Oh, yeah." "Anyone can disbelieve, only you can't disbelieve." "why?" Facing the wind, Luo Zhi's long hair seeped into the night.She smiled brightly, approached him, and lightly held his shoulders with both hands: "Because if it wasn't for me back then, they would have really pushed your head into the puddle, Your Majesty the Emperor." Sheng Huainan stared at her blankly for a while, then suddenly stood up, rushed over and hugged her tightly in his arms.It seems that the barriers and defenses, doubts and swings that cannot be eliminated with words can be bridged in the most natural way with primitive and simple hugs. Luo Zhi knew that the cool poison in each other's bodies would eventually be evaporated little by little by the warmth conveyed by his skin, and become transparent again.Even lust can be clean and peaceful, like a river, what she can't express will eventually flow to him. "Your Majesty, I can finally speak out."