Chapter 42 Chapter 41 So You Know It Already

Luo Zhi's mother delayed the Spring Festival before deciding to move with Uncle Chen to his hometown in Guangxi. Luo Zhi didn't need to worry about packing and tidying up. Her mother had always been very capable in taking care of her daily life. In fact, when she came home on the evening of Chinese New Year's Eve, what she saw was a half-empty house. The anxiety and guilt on her mother's face made her really want to laugh.Just like when she didn't go home because of her internship during the summer vacation, according to Luo Yang, her mother called Luo Zhi's aunt countless times, asking her over and over again, did the child feel unwell and didn't want to see me?

This kind of recognition made Luo Zhi dumbfounded, so she hurriedly flew home during the National Day of the 11th to reassure her mother. "I always have to be on my own. What's more, in the later stages of university, many people don't go home during the holidays. Some do internships, some prepare for exams, and prepare to apply abroad. In short, everyone has their own direction of effort and their own choices. Mom , You really think too much, I am no longer a child." As she spoke, she looked at her room, which was still clean, not even a single table decoration had been moved.

"What are you going to do with this house?" "He has his own house in Guangxi, which is enough for us to live in. I have been there several times before and cleaned everything up." "Then why don't we just end here?" "What nonsense! This house is reserved for you." "Give it to me?" Luo Zhi couldn't help but laugh, "I'm sure I won't come back after I graduate. This kind of old house doesn't have much room for appreciation, and waiting for demolition is even more useless." Luo Zhi's mother was making dumplings, and her face darkened when she heard this: "You can rent it out, but you can't sell it."

"why?" "This is left to you by your grandmother." Luo Zhi was surprised, the hot milk brought to her mouth almost scalded her tongue.Only then did she remember that she had never wondered where this little home came from.After her father died, she and her mother moved away from her grandmother's house, lived in her grandmother's house for a short time, and soon moved here.I can't remember any other past events, as if this is a place that should exist. However, she has always known that her grandma is actually a person who is cold on the outside and hot on the inside. Unfortunately, she was not sensible enough when she was a child. She only knew how to look at people by looking at her appearance. She only thought that her grandma was a scary old woman who once refused them to enter the door.

It's a pity that when she finally grew up and understood this horrible old woman, the old woman was no longer alive. Luo Yang said that he always remembered that Luo Zhi asked him that he was not familiar with his grandmother, what kind of person was his grandmother.Because of this, he has always insisted that Luo Zhi only stepped into her grandmother's house for the first time after her death. In fact, no matter how scary the old lady is, she also has a vicious side.No matter what, it is hard to bear to drive out the daughter who disobeyed herself and insisted on marrying a small worker from another country.Luo Zhi remembered that she was taken to her grandmother's house by her mother like a thief, and she nodded vigorously to promise that she would never tell anyone.Then one day my father found out somehow, and called my grandmother's house, saying that he was going to pick her up.

Grandma's face was so gloomy like the weather that day. That day was the snowy night when her father died in a machine accident. For more than half a year after that day, in Luo Zhi's memory was a protracted and chaotic war.Grandma was furious, and blamed Mom for Dad's death, cursing Mom Kefuxiang.My mother made a fuss in the factory. After the accident report came out, she became hysterical. She was coaxed and threatened by gangsters hired by Sheng Huainan's father. She wandered around grandma's house, while her mother was kicked out by her terrified little aunt. Luo Zhi looked at herself today, and the woman who was rolling out dumpling wrappers with her head down, and suddenly wondered if she remembered everything wrongly, whether all this had never happened.

Her mother is not a pure and gentle person, and the setbacks in life once sharpened her to be ruthless. When she learned that her daughter was having fun with Sheng Huainan at the wedding, she slapped Luo Zhi to the ground. on the ground. Life has never been kind to this woman. In the long time, she dragged a child who didn't understand anything, and she had too much to learn. However, regarding grandma, Luo Zhi always remembers one thing. On the dusty path, grandma led her to walk under the poisonous sun, all the way silent. Luo Zhi didn't remember where she was going or what she was doing, but she only remembered such a silent dirt road.That's it, she kept her mouth shut and endured the sun and walked forward, the sand hit her face without saying it hurt, as if she was angry, but because she was too small, she couldn't tell where the gap was.

The skin of the mouth is dry, and the eyes are still spitting fire. Suddenly her grandmother said coldly: "You wait for me here." She came back five minutes later, clutching a bottle of Wahaha and a bag of Bu Bu Xing—the two things Luo Zhi stared at when she saw TV commercials when she was a child. She anxiously wanted to tear open Bu Bu Xing's packing bag, but was hit on the back of her hand by her grandma, and scolded: "The road is so dirty, I'll eat it later! Hold on, can you die in a hurry?!" So I held it aggrievedly, and continued to walk, and as I walked, I was still happy.

This endless fragment of memory was once the only evidence in her heart that grandma loved her. "The house of your grandma and grandpa was later sold, and our brothers and sisters shared the medical expenses equally. But they didn't know the origin of this place. She loved you and left this house for you. She was afraid After she's gone, we have nowhere to go." It turns out that they have been living in this old lady's heart for so many years. "Everyone came to visit the grave years ago. It's unlucky for us to come here on the fourth day of the lunar new year."

"You have to come here before you leave. I didn't land until the New Year's Eve because of my internship plane. Why did I catch up with it years ago? I just took a look and worshiped where there are so many feudal superstitions." After Luo Zhi finished speaking, she sat down Uncle Chen in the passenger seat laughed. "They young people have young people's ideas, so don't argue about it." He turned his head and said to Luo Zhi's mother, and got the other party's reluctant approval. However, Luo Zhi's mother still insisted on some of her traditions, such as burning two pieces of paper money and throwing them aside first, so as not to prevent little ghosts from robbing the money.

She stood aside and watched her mother hook the paper money with an iron hook to make sure they were fully burned, and then she kept saying that she hoped that Luo Zhi's father would forgive her and let him relax. She definitely did not abandon him and his daughter. Luo Zhi rolled her eyes, feeling a little helpless tenderness in her heart. Luo Zhi's mother would cry so pale every time she came over to burn paper, she couldn't even stand up, so she still insisted on sending the urn back by herself.Walking through the cold and empty corridor again, holding the small box like an ice cube in her hand, she suddenly remembered a year ago. Luo Zhi walked slowly, trying to find the room she had entered by mistake that time, but the parking room with red silk everywhere seemed to have disappeared out of thin air. In front of the shelf where the ashes are placed. Then with a glance, he saw a woman sitting by the window sill. Luo Zhi gasped, and almost threw the urn out.Seeing her movement, the woman hurried over and stretched out her hands to catch her. "Be careful!" That tone seemed to be closer to this bone than Luo Zhi's. "Why is it you again?" Luo Zhi was surprised. The woman wasn't dressed so scary this time. She wore a normal light gray down jacket, woolen pants, and black leather shoes. She still wore a headscarf. Her face was no longer swollen. She looked like a normal middle-aged woman. The eyes were still beautiful, with the youthful brilliance of old days. The urn was still in Luo Zhi's hands, but the woman gently placed her rough and swollen hands on the lid, rubbing it over and over again, as if she would never let go. Luo Zhi didn't speak for a long time, she felt that she wasn't too scared, she wanted to ask something, but when she remembered that it must be related to her father, she couldn't open her mouth. "Who are you?" After all, she chose the simplest question, but she didn't expect the other party to speak at the same time, and asked softly, "Can you let me take some of his ashes away?" Luo Zhi reacted to this question for a long time, and asked blankly, "Why?" "I beg you." "why?" "Can you promise me first? You two didn't come on the festival day this year. I come around every day, thinking about whether I can meet you. I know your mother is going to the south and won't come back. Give me his ashes." Can't you? I won't take all of it, I'll just take a little bit, can't I?" The woman knelt down as she spoke. Luo Zhi was horrified, and quickly squatted down. After persuading her for a long time, she just wouldn't stand up. "You know my dad?" "Earlier than your mother." She said indifferently. Luo Zhi's flight back to school was at noon on the fifth day of the new year. Her mother and Uncle Chen's flight was two hours earlier than hers. A lot of luggage had been delivered to Guangxi by railway express one after another before, so the three of them packed lightly. Arrived at the airport. "You two talk, I'm going to smoke a cigarette." While waiting for the plane, Uncle Chen took the initiative to leave, leaving Luo Zhi's mother tightly holding her hand, giving endless instructions. "Mom, I'm just going back to school. If you don't go to Guangxi, I can only see you once a year during the holidays. What's the difference now? Isn't it that I will go to Guangxi every year after changing it? So sad." Luo Zhi's mother smiled embarrassingly, and talked for a while before she calmed down. She just held her hand, not knowing what she was laughing at. "Lolo, you and your boyfriend...is he the one I think?" Luo Zhi stepped back in surprise, and saw the complex smile on her mother's face, which was mixed with a lot of tolerance and guilt. "You know? How do you know?" Her mother sighed: "Don't blame me, Luo Luo, I already knew that you liked this boy in high school." Luo Zhi was stunned. Her mother had seen her diary, not just the single sheet in the exercise book.She didn't have the habit of locking and hiding diaries, but she always thought that the other party would not pry.She was an excellent student in high school, and she didn't have any bad behavior. She thought that her mother, who was busy making ends meet, would not bother to look at these things, after all, her grades and behavior were beyond reproach. "I've always felt that I'm sorry for you." "You still think you're sorry for my dad, sorry for my grandma, and sorry for everyone. God is sorry for you." Luo Zhi shook her head. "No. I didn't start to reflect until you were in college, Lolo. Forgive mom, I have to learn how to take care of children, how to educate you, and how to care about you. You have never been talkative, what's the matter I hide it in my heart, and I am in a mood, crying for a while, and getting angry for a while—yes, my heart is bitter, but I have hurt you." Luo Zhi has to admit, objectively speaking.Her mother is indeed not a very good mother. She was trembling when she was a child and grew up to be indifferent to everything. It is difficult for her to explain how much it has to do with this, but she has never looked back and thought about what if. No one is born to be a mother. She and her grew up together. Today, both of them have changed in a good direction. This is a good thing. Good things are enough.she thinks. "Did you almost die of anger at that time? That's a son who killed his father and his enemy." She smiled wryly. "I am not angry." "impossible." "I'm serious!" She held Luo Zhi's hand tightly, and sighed, "I thought at the time that this was fate. When I was young, I beat you for playing with his children, and later... But this It's all fate. I want to talk to you, but you keep everything in your heart. I'm afraid I won't say it well, and it will make you sad. You finally became more cheerful. I thought, if you like it, you will like it, girl At this age, I will like someone, after a long time, if it fades away, it will be fine." "Then what if it doesn't get better?" Luo Zhi suddenly felt her nose sore, she turned her head, not wanting to be seen by her mother sitting on the right. "It's no good, so that's it?" "What? Don't you think I'm sorry for my father?" "That's a matter between adults. As long as you are healthy and happy, I am worthy of him." Mother.Luo Zhi closed her eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks like two scalding rivers. Her plane was relatively late, so watching her mother leave with Uncle Chen step by step, her arms were sore from waving.For a moment, she actually wanted to sing "Sister, you go forward boldly" to her mother-this sudden idea of ​​deviant can only be buried in her heart. If her mother knew that she spent a long time in the building prying open the urn to help others steal her father's ashes, she might not be so relieved to board the plane. That was a story she didn't want her mother to know.Childhood sweethearts, consensual, only because the man's mother wanted to cling to another family and arrange jobs and household registrations for the children in the family, so they broke up abruptly.The woman had an abortion, and the filial son obediently married the man he introduced to him. When the wife who was kicked out of the house and the powerful mother were arguing over the child's surname, they ran to change the gas tank for the first love. The ashes are dead things, and the litter box is just a piece of plastic that sells for an exorbitant price. Because of the thoughts of living people, all this has meaning. "Don't come again. You take it away." She watched the woman leave, and she watched her mother leave.It's a story that will run away with her vague memories of her father.At the beginning, she failed to keep her diary and let it reveal her secrets all over, but she had to keep her mother's insistence. If it wasn't for love, how could a woman beg for justice for his death, confront the gangsters all over the street with scissors in her bag. So, it can't be love. The past is the past, and in the future, she will give happiness to her mother and herself.