Chapter 17 Chapter Sixteen

I use all my strength to love someone, not asking for anything in return, just asking for his well-being, not asking to stay together forever, only asking for the same hole after death. It's been almost a month and it seems like the rainy season in Seattle has just begun.The light rain enveloped this bustling and quiet port city.The life between Geng Mochi and I has become calm, but his condition is very unstable. Every day, I watched him take a lot of medicine, see him lose weight, see his appetite decrease day by day, and often feel nauseated and vomited. Cut like a knife but powerless, I didn’t dare to ask for anything, tolerated his bad temper, so that when he got angry at me, I was actually a little sad and happy: this man still has the strength to scold me, he is still alive, What should I do if one day he lies down and cannot move?

Geng Mochi has never had an intimate relationship with me, we still sleep separately, he sleeps on the bed, and I make a bunk next to him, so that it is convenient to look after him, and I gradually got used to it. That night, there was a strong wind blowing outside, the raindrops slapped on the glass windows, and the ship was shaking.The temperature suddenly dropped several degrees.I was too cold to sleep and curled up in a ball under the covers. "Come up to sleep, it's cold tonight." He heard my breathing, and felt compassion. "No need." I refused. There was a rustle in the darkness, and he rolled over and got out of bed.

"You are so stubborn!" He leaned over and picked me up, put me on the soft bed, hugged me and fell asleep. But I woke up in the middle of the night, and Geng Mochi was tossing and turning on the bed, he seemed to be very uncomfortable. I wanted to send him to the hospital, but he said he was fine, but his stomach was upset and he had difficulty breathing. I kept rubbing his stomach, propped up his pillow, and tried to let him breathe as smoothly as possible.At this time, the moonlight was shining on the bed through the floor-to-ceiling windows, and his expression was very bad. It could be seen that he was trying his best to suppress his pain, and he didn't dare to make a sound, for fear that I would worry.I watched this man suffering from illness in the dark, and I could only keep silent.

Tears silently rolled down my cheeks. "You cried." "No, no." "I still said no, I can already smell your tears." He closed his eyes in the dark, but he seemed to understand everything. I didn't speak, just stroked his chest over and over again, trying to make him feel better. After a while, he suddenly said, "I want to go back to New Zealand for Christmas." "Why do you want to go to New Zealand?" "Go see my mother." "Oh." "Perhaps the last time I saw her." "Mochi!" I choked up, and hugged him tightly in the dark, as if as long as I hug him so tightly, he won't leave.

There was the sound of his heavy breathing. He stroked my hair with his chin, and sighed softly, "You have to be mentally prepared, Kao'er..." I hugged him tightly with all my strength and buried my head even deeper. Is there any psychological preparation that will change anything?No matter how we calculate, we can't calculate fate. When I fell in love with him, I was not psychologically prepared, but I never really regretted it. Love is love, and wrong is wrong. Rainier Snow Mountain, no matter what the result is, it has been eternal in my heart. It wasn't until the middle of the night that Geng Mochi fell asleep from exhaustion.

In the morning, while eating breakfast, he seemed a little distracted, and I asked him what he was thinking.He said "um", looked up at me, stared at me with a deep gaze that I had never seen before, and suddenly said, "Let's move." I really don't know much about Geng Mochi. I live well on the boat, but suddenly I want to move to the shore.It doesn't matter if I don't agree, I can refute what he has decided.But on the day of moving, when he led me to Mrs. Henry's house, I felt dizzy and wanted to die. At that time, I guessed that he might have planned it for a long time.

I was almost dragged into the new home by him. As soon as I entered the door, I was so surprised that I couldn’t close my mouth. Although the decoration of Mrs. Henry’s house has basically remained the same, all the furniture and furnishings have been changed, including curtains, carpets, and decorations. Freshen up.Geng Mochi has always had high requirements for life, he is very particular about food and accommodation, and never uses things that others have used.As I guessed, he bought this house by no means in a day or two, he had planned it long ago! Julia must have told Qi Shuli about us moving next door right away, and Qi Shuli came to drop by in the evening, and Geng Mochi just went downstairs, showing a rare smile to his new and old neighbor.

"I'm sorry, it was a mess when I just moved in, so I can't entertain you." "It's okay, we're neighbors again, I'm too happy!" Qi Shuli watched us move to his next door, smiled, and extended his hand very warmly, "Welcome, welcome, it's going to be lively now, we're destined for each other. " "Yes, it's fate." Geng Mochi also held his hand with a smile. I stared at the two men who shook hands and made peace, and couldn't figure out the situation for a while. When did these two men have such a good relationship?Qi Shuli exchanged polite greetings with Geng Mochi, "From now on, I'll be like my own family, if you need help, just say, I'll make arrangements..."

"Thank you, not yet." "Where is the employer? Have you hired someone?" "This... I haven't had time to ask for it yet." "Then I'll call Julia over to help. Anyway, she's been with Cathy for two years and knows each other, so you don't have to look for her anymore. If you're not in good health, you don't have to worry about it." Qi Shuli was considerate. "Then what about your family?" "For me, I just need to find someone else, it's just a phone call." "Thank you so much!" "Here again, I said don't be so polite, I am very happy to be your neighbor, you know everything, and you can watch world-class performers play the piano for free."

"Yes, we all know the basics, haha." "Yeah, hehe." The two men were sitting on the newly replaced sofa, smiling and talking freely, as if the polite gentleman had to meet the heads of state of the two countries.Geng Mochi never told me why he moved here to be neighbors with his deadly enemy. When I asked, he would practice Tai Chi, "There are no permanent friends in this world, and of course there are no permanent enemies." This was his answer. Can a fox and a hunter be friends?Ghost letter! But the houses of the two families are too close to each other, the garden is connected to the garden, separated by only a fence, and the balconies of the bedrooms on the third floor are only a few meters apart, so it is no problem to stand on the balcony and say hello.The curtains are drawn at night, but during the day you can clearly see the activities of the other party in the room.I often see Qi Shuli walking around the room in home clothes, looking at me from time to time.

Most of the time when he sees me, I do cleaning in the bedroom by myself.Geng Mochi is very strange, not to mention cleanliness, no one is allowed to enter his bedroom except me, including Julia, I have to do the hygiene of the bedroom myself, I still act like a servant, tidy the bedding, change the sheets, and wipe the furniture , vacuum the carpet, clean the bathroom, scrub the toilet, whatever.Geng Mochi hates the strands of hair in the room the most, as long as he sees them, I will eat them. Every day after he wakes up, I will barefoot, looking for strands of hair in the bedroom with thick brushed carpet, under the bed, beside the sofa , Looking back and forth behind the curtain, I almost missed it with a magnifying glass.Qi Shuli saw it several times, and asked loudly from the opposite balcony: "Cathy, what are you looking for?" I was embarrassed to say I was looking for a strand of hair, so I replied, "I'm looking for a soul." It doesn't feel good to be spied on. Geng Mochi and I proposed to move to another place many times, but Geng Mochi firmly refused. There is nothing you can do about this person.The thing that annoys me the most is Julia, I was so stupid to ask her to help, because Julia is Qi Shuli’s eyeliner next to Geng Mochi and me, our every move can’t escape his “surveillance”, sometimes If I quarrel with Geng Mochi, Qi Shuli will know when it's time for a cup of coffee, even how long I took a nap in the afternoon, what I had for dinner, and how long Geng Mochi and I went for a walk, Qi Shuli knows everything... I'm going crazy! I want to send Julia away, but Geng Mochi still doesn't agree, the reason is "I just want him to know how much we love each other", but God testifies, there is no love between us, neither sharing the same bed nor hugging and kissing, If you don't quarrel, you will burn high incense!Geng Mochi's condition fluctuated, and his temper became very bad. He would get angry at every turn, and regret it after he got angry. This had a lot to do with the large amount of drugs he took. Those drugs brought great side effects while controlling his condition, hurting his organs and affecting his emotions. Most of the time he quarreled with me and I could only bear it. stimulate him. That night, Geng Mochi refused to take the medicine after vomiting profusely. No matter how much I tried to persuade him, he refused to listen. In the end, he dropped the cup and asked me to get out. He doesn't need an old mother like me.I was so angry that I rushed out of the house, full of grievances and nowhere to confide. I wandered around the lake alone, and when I was tired from walking, I sat on a chair and cried.The temperature at night was very low, I was wearing a thin sweater and skirt, shivering from the cold, and my mind gradually calmed down, I began to wonder if Geng Mochi lost his temper, and how to coax him to take his medicine when I go back later. A car slowly drove over from the lake, and its headlights illuminated me brightly. "Cathy, why is it you?" With the car window rolled down, Qi Shuli poked his head out in surprise, "It's so late, what are you doing here alone?" He opened the car door and walked down, looking me up and down, "What's going on? Did he lose his temper with you again?" "It's okay." I wiped my tears in embarrassment. "It's okay, my face is frozen blue, hurry up and sit with me for a while." He stretched out his hand to pull me. "I said it's okay, and I'll go back when his anger subsides." "When his anger subsides, you will freeze to death here!" "Do you tube!" "I don't care, who cares? Your parents still think we're together!" He took my hand again and said softly, "Well, come and sit in my car, it's warmer inside." I didn't refuse this time because I was too cold.He drove the car out of a woods on the side of the road, turned on the heater to the maximum, and took off his suit jacket and put it on for me. "Still cold?" He asked, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "It's not cold anymore, thank you!" I pushed him away uncomfortably, I'm not used to being so close to him. Qi Shuli's dark eyes showed sadness, he looked at me and sighed: "Cathy, even if we are separated now, I can still take care of you, right, is it necessary to resist so much?" I opened the car door and was about to get out, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "What!" I struggled. "His anger doesn't dissipate so quickly, what's the rush!" Qi Shuli sighed, and stretched out his hand to wrap my shoulders again, "Do you really not miss the days when we were together at all? All the sacrifices I have made in the past are really worthless." Isn't it worth your thinking? I think about our past every day, and the more I think about it, the sadder it becomes... Kao'er, I'm really sad..." He called me "Kao'er" again!I turned my face away and didn't want to look at him, so he stretched out his hand and turned my face away. I saw the dimness in his eyes. I haven't looked at him so closely for a long time, and I feel that he seems to be much older. Qi Shuli also looked at me with painful eyes, "Kao'er, what you need to make clear is that I acquiesced in allowing you to return to Geng Mochi's side not because I gave up, but because I missed him for a few days after all, you stayed with him Taking care of him by my side, I have done my best, otherwise you will blame me for the rest of your life." "What do you mean?" I looked at him as if being burned, "Are you waiting for him to die?" "Kao'er, what are you talking about, why am I waiting for him to die?" "Isn't that what you mean? What acquiesces me to stay by his side, what kindness and righteousness, who do you think you are? Geng Mochi is only a few days away, and he will die if he doesn't have a heart transplant. You probably think he is going to die I will definitely come back to you again, what do you think of me?" "Kao'er, is that how you see me?" "Isn't that what you think? I just exposed you!" Qi Shuli was really angry, and lowered his face, "You are an asshole!" "Yeah, I'm a bastard, I'm still a white-eyed wolf, I just don't appreciate you being so kind to me! Not only am I ungrateful, I can also tell you clearly today that no matter how long Geng Mochi can live, I will definitely keep it. Let him go to the end, you don't need your acquiescence, you don't need your approval, whether I was by your side in the past or now we have broken up, I am an independent person, I didn't sell it to you! Even if Geng Mochi is dead, I won't Back to you, you and I have already ended, OVER, understand?" I finished speaking in one breath, opened the car door and ran away. "Kaoer—" Qi Shuli lowered the car window and shouted at me, "Do you have to be so heartless?" I didn't look back and ran all the way. Tears have flowed down my face unconsciously, I know I owe this man behind me, but there is no way, love is not a gift, you can give it at will, even if he hates me, it is better than me perfunctory him and drag him down for the rest of his life. For many days after that, Qi Shuli didn't come to visit. Occasionally, the driver came to pick him up in the garden. He also got in the car and left in a hurry. When he saw me, he looked at me like a stranger. I think I really offended him. That's fine, at least he no longer has hope in me, time always dilutes everything, he will have to face the fact that we have broken up after all, when I coughed up blood in his arms two years ago, he should understand that in this life I only want Will live for a person, or die.But he still can't face up to this matter. I think everyone has weaknesses. Even a rational person like Qi Shuli can't avoid getting stuck in a certain matter. I can only pray that he can figure it out as soon as possible. Other than that, there is nothing I can do , even if he hates me, I can't help it. But soon I couldn't care whether Qi Shuli hated me or not, because there was another person who hated me even more. I almost forgot the existence of Milan until I received her call that morning. It was a rare good weather that day, the rain that had been raining for nearly a month finally stopped, the sky was as blue as washed, the morning sun slowly climbed up the green treetops, and shone into the living room without any obstruction. The eighty-degree floor-to-ceiling windows, through the windows, you can see that the garden is full of greenery, and many flowers that I can't name are blooming. Julia opened the windows early in the morning, and the room is filled with a light fragrance of flowers. When the call came, I was preparing Geng Mochi's medicine, and he was still sleeping and didn't get up. The phone on the coffee table rang, and I picked it up without looking at the number. Before I could speak to the other party, I reported myself: "It's me, Milan!" My heart jumped into my throat. "What exactly do you want? You haven't paid me alimony for a year... Do you have a new love? I know you are in the United States now, don't think I can't find you if you hide in the United States. Geng Mochi, don't be too Excessive, although we are separated, but I am your wife, if you don’t give me money, what will I live on, you talk! You are dumb!..." With a snap, I picked up the phone and turned it off. This woman hasn't changed at all since I haven't seen her for two years. Her voice is so piercing that one can imagine her hideous face covered in makeup through the microphone.It's unbelievable to think about it, I have had a friendship with her for more than ten years!After Geng Mochi woke up, I told him about Milan's call, this time he didn't deliberately avoid it, and said coldly: "Don't pay attention to her, she is already crazy now." I really wanted to know what was going on. He glanced at me without avoiding it, and vaguely talked about what happened in the past two years. Although the words were vague, I could still hear the general ins and outs clearly.Geng Mochi said that he and Milan had been separated since they went to Japan, living their own lives without interfering with each other. At first he would pay Milan a considerable amount of alimony on a regular basis, but later he discovered that she had spent the money on things she shouldn’t have spent. place, so the alimony payment to her was terminated a year ago.Milan was noisy and tried every means to ask him for money, but his attitude was very firm, it was fine to ask for money, unless divorced!Otherwise, no money will be given. "If you don't give me money, what does she live on?" I was a little puzzled. "Did I give her less money?" Geng Mochi became indignant as soon as he said this, "Since I got married, she has taken tens of millions of money from me, not including the house I gave her , cars, jewelry, etc., as my wife, I can give her more belongings, but this woman is too vicious to take my money..." "How about it?" "..." Geng Mochi looked at me, seemingly unable to speak. But I suddenly remembered that when I went to see him in Japan two years ago, Qi Shuli told me that Milan and a Japanese assistant of Geng Mochi got together. She used her husband's money to support "Little Japan", that's why Geng Mochi said that she used the money in an improper way, thus cutting off her source of income.Even though Geng Mochi has no feelings for her, the two are husband and wife after all, and Geng Mochi is a person of status. Milan cuckolded him obviously to embarrass him, to discredit him, and to be ridiculed by others, what a vicious woman! "Don't mention the unhappy things, I just want you to be well now." I held his hand, feeling very distressed, this man has already entered hell and suffered torture before he died.I really feel for him. Geng Mochi held my hand in the palm of his hand, stroked it, and whispered: "Do you know what I regret the most in my life? Marrying her! This is the most unforgivable mistake in my life, and now I have received retribution ...This woman is more greedy than I imagined, she is waiting for me to die now, so that she can take my property..." "Give her the things she wants." I advised him. Geng Mochi didn't say a word, just looked at me silently for a while, his eyes were gentle and desolate, my heart was filled with soreness, and I was almost on the verge of tears.He sighed, sat me on his lap, and rubbed my hair. Thin and dense kisses fell on my lips and neck, obviously restrained, but enough to make me forget myself lightly, I hugged his neck tightly, and slowly responded to him. The fragrance of flowers in the room became stronger and more refreshing. Maybe it was my intuition, I opened my eyes subconsciously, the curtains were open, and I saw a person standing on the balcony of the opposite bedroom at a glance, it was Qi Shuli, with a cigarette in his hand, looking down at this side.The distance is a bit far, and he is upstairs, so I can't see his expression clearly, but I still feel the chill in his eyes, and I look at the living room here unobstructed. He said that he acquiesced in allowing me to stay by Geng Mochi's side because of his tolerance, and now the lie was exposed immediately, this man may be tolerant, but emotionally it is impossible to be tolerant, he doesn't hate Geng Mochi, he hates me! Although I tried my best to avoid it, I still couldn’t avoid going to the house next door. Geng Mochi wanted me to accompany him back to New Zealand to spend Christmas with his mother, but the passport was with Qi Shuli. When I moved out in a hurry, I left many things in his place. side.I can't ask him for it directly, lest he think we are going to fly away.I decided to get it myself. Checking the time, Geng Mochi was not at home, Qi Shuli had also gone to work, and I swayed to the next door.His new servant knew me, and I briefly explained the situation to her, and she let me upstairs. I rummaged through the study first, but couldn’t find it. Then I found the bedroom, bedside table, dresser, and carefully rummaged through every drawer. When I was looking for it, I felt like a thief, even though I had lived in this room for two years. At this time, Qi Shuli must not show up, otherwise he really thinks I'm here to steal something.However, there is such a coincidence in the world. When I didn't find my passport in the drawer of the dressing table and raised my head annoyed, I suddenly found a person walking in the mirror, wearing a neat suit, standing wobbly. behind me. Why does this man always like to suddenly appear behind me, sooner or later I will be frightened by him and have a heart attack. "What are you looking for?" He looked at me in the mirror, with a faint smile on his face. I turned around in embarrassment, "Here, I, I'm looking for... a passport..." "You're finally here. I thought you'd never come into this room again." His eyes were blurred and he smelled of alcohol, as if he had just returned from a social gathering.Men who drink alcohol are very dangerous, I have to withdraw quickly.But he grabbed my arm, dragged it into his arms, and hugged me without any explanation, "Don't go, Kao'er, don't go, I miss you..." I pushed him away hard, "You, you drank too much!" "I didn't drink much, this little wine is nothing!" He grabbed me tightly, stretched out his hand to touch my face, but his eyes were sad, "If you have him, leave me aside, regardless of my feelings, in front of my face Make out with him, do you know how uncomfortable I am, Kaoer, I am really uncomfortable, I can't sleep every night, thinking of him taking my place, I can't wait to set fire to these two houses... " "You really drank too much!" I pulled his hand away, but he hugged my face and kissed me violently. I kicked and hit me, and finally I was pushed to the bed by him. He closed the curtain and started Unbutton your suit. "No, Frank, you can't mess around, we've already broken up..." I said as I shrank towards the head of the bed, but he took off his suit jacket and pressed him over. No matter how much I begged for mercy, he just wouldn't let go.Although I have lived with him for two years, my body and mind have never been united with him.After I returned to Geng Mochi's side, my body and mind no longer belonged to him, and now I can't accept being close to him even more, the pain in my body is very clear, and his passion is so passionate that he easily occupies all of me. I was crying all the time. I didn't cry so hard when I coughed up blood in his arms, as if I was torn apart. The gratitude and shame I had for this man were all ruined at this moment. When the tide goes out, the beach is always in a mess.I feel like I am a corpse lying on the beach, exposed to the sun, no one to bury it, just waiting for the seabirds to come and peck at it bit by bit. He gently wiped my body and dressed me, then held me tightly in his arms and kissed my forehead, "I'm sorry, Kao'er, I'm going crazy for a while, no matter how much I persuade myself Yes, I was very scared after you told me those words that night. You said that even if Geng Mochi died, you would not come back to me. No, Kaoer, you can't stop my thoughts like this... " I cried and broke free from him, jumped out of bed, and ran downstairs. He didn't chase down, didn't even call me. Fortunately, Geng Mochi went out, I had enough time to adjust my emotions, I locked myself in the room and cried for a long time. In the evening, I received a text message from him, just three words: "I'm sorry." I did not reply to him, but directly deleted his number and pulled it into the blacklist.It's time to get over it, and this fruitless entanglement will only make each other more embarrassing and embarrassing. I have to move out of this house after returning from New Zealand. The next morning, Qi Shuli sent his assistant David to deliver the passport. Geng Mochi went in without knowing it, and asked David to convey his thanks, but I sat on the sofa with a dark face and didn't say a word.In the afternoon, Geng Mochi suddenly asked me to go out with him for a walk.We took a quick look at the flowers and turned to Kerry Park (Kerry Park) in the north of the city.It is said to be a park, but in fact there is only a piece of green space and a few benches, but the view is extremely wide. "I don't know why, but I like this city very much, even though I've only been here for a few months." Geng Mochi lit a cigarette, and lightly exhaled. "I like it here too." "I know." He stretched out his arms to embrace me, staring straight ahead at Mount Rainier, "I really want to sleep here...so I want to see this city again before I leave, I have already booked a flight Air ticket to New Zealand, leave in two days." I said "hmm" and rested my head on his shoulder. Geng Mochi obviously had something on his mind, so he said slowly and hesitantly: "Kao'er, I've already taken a look at the cemetery at the Lake View Cemetery. The scenery there is beautiful. Standing on the hillside, you can see the lake area. At night, the lights will be very bright." I looked up at him, and my vision was suddenly covered by a mist of tears. He even prepared the cemetery? Geng Mochi also looked at me, very calm, "Listen to me, this day will come eventually, so I have to arrange my own funeral, you have to promise me to live a good life, don't miss me too much, if you have a bad life , I will not be peaceful if I sleep underground." "Ink Pond!" "You must be wondering why I chose the cemetery in Seattle, because you are here. Whenever night falls, my cemetery can see the lights of the Lake District, so I will feel that I am not too far away from you. I can see you, you are happy, or you are sad, I can see it, so Kaoer, you must make yourself happy, even if it is for me." "Then you promise me one thing first, and then I can promise you." "you say." "No matter where your cemetery is, please leave me a place next to it. When I have to leave one day, I can go there to find you. We have no hope in this life. I don't know if there will be a next life. I just hope to have your company in that unknown world, even if I quarrel every day, I will be very satisfied." Geng Mochi looked at me and didn't say anything for a while. "You promise me, and I promise you." "Okay, I promise you, I will reserve a place for you next to the cemetery. But you have to promise me that before you finally lie down in it, you must live well and not do stupid things. If you give up on yourself, be sad and decadent... " "You won't let me go even if you're a ghost, right?" "right!" "You're such a scoundrel, but I love you, Mochi." "You love you too, idiot!" Geng Mochi kissed my cheek and asked softly, "Christmas is coming, do you want a present?" There was a burst of sweetness in my heart, but I said: "That depends on whether you are willing to give it or not. I don't want to make fun of myself." "Yes, of course!" He was clearly prepared, and he took out a small purple-red velvet box from his trouser pocket and handed it to me, "Open it and have a look, do you like it?" I hesitated to take the box and looked at it. "Open it and have a look, don't worry, it's not a bomb." The moment the box was opened, a dazzling light made me tremble. Although I vaguely guessed it, I was so amazed that I couldn't speak when I saw it.In fact, it is a diamond ring, a very retro style, quite satisfactory, but because the particles are huge, it is quite heavy in the palm of the hand. It is not that he has not given me gifts before, and they are all valuable things, but he has never given them. The ring, maybe he, like me, knows what the ring means in his heart. It's not that he can't afford to send it, but he doesn't know in what capacity to send it. And I don't know in what capacity to accept it. I took the ring in my palm and rubbed it lightly, feeling sad, "Why did you give me this, it's very expensive, right?" "Kauer, this is the most formal form I can think of. I once missed a chance to put a ring on your hands. After I missed it, I knew that such an opportunity would never come again. That April Fool's Day joke ruined it. I lost our happiness that was within our fingertips, and I put myself in a place of eternal doom. I have no way to give you another legitimate wedding. I can only give you this ring. In my heart, you are the most cherished wife in my life. .” I shook my head, as if something was stuck in my heart, very sad, "Mochi, these are not important anymore, really not important." "But it is important to me. It has almost become a knot in my heart. Kaoer. I have done many things that I am sorry for you. This is the thing I am most guilty of. If you don't wear this ring I can't let go!" "The ink pool..." "Come, let's swear now." He held my hand and stared at me affectionately, "Miss Bai Kaoer, now I ask you, are you willing to marry this Mr. Geng Mochi in front of you, and marry him before God?" As one body, love him, comfort him, respect him, protect him as you love yourself, whether he is sick or healthy, rich or poor, you will always be loyal to him until the end of this world, will you?" I choked up and couldn't speak. "Do you want to?" "I, I do." "I am willing too, very, very willing!" He solemnly put the ring on my ring finger, leaned over and kissed the back of my hand lightly.The throbbing at that moment was indescribable, and I was trembling almost uncontrollably. He raised his head, and there were tears in his eyes, but a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth, "Now, you are my wife, and the law does not recognize it. God admits that we are each other's irreplaceable spouses in your heart and mine, and that is enough." "Mochi!" I threw myself into his arms, weeping uncontrollably, "You fool, without this ring you are irreplaceable in my heart, you know I don't care about these things..." He hugged me tightly, stroked my disheveled hair, and sighed deeply, "Kauer, whether you care or not, this is the only thing I can give you. This is the diamond I sent someone to select from South Africa, please invite a famous teacher It was specially polished, take a look again, have you noticed that this diamond is glowing with blue light?" I took the ring to the sun, and it was true, the strange light was shining blue, cold and mysterious, as if it came from a distant planet in the universe. But no matter how rare things are, they are not as precious as this person in front of him. All I want is to be with him. "Do you know the name of this diamond?" he asked. "It has a name? What's it called?" "Tears of the Goddess." "The tears of the goddess?" I was surprised. "Yes, this kind of diamond is very rare. According to legend, there lived a beautiful goddess in a certain forest in South Africa. She fell in love with a brave hunter, but the hunter later betrayed her. The goddess was so sad that she cried all night. Cry, where she cries, there are always diamonds falling all over the ground. It turns out that this goddess has some kind of mysterious power. When she cries, her tears will turn into diamonds. But the hunter who betrayed her is secretly in the place where she cries. After picking up diamonds, the goddess realized that the hunter did it on purpose. In a rage, she stabbed the hunter to death, and then gouged out her own eyes, so that she would never cry again. Without tears, there would be no blue. diamonds, and no one will deceive her again..." I was stunned, "What a poignant story!" "Yes, I heard about this story many years ago, and I also knew that there was such a diamond. It took more than two years to find it in South Africa." "More than two years?" I opened my mouth wide in surprise. "That's right, I didn't go to Japan two years ago. I knew I was going to leave this world sooner or later, so I wanted to give you something as a souvenir, but unfortunately I couldn't find it at that time. I didn't get the exact news until the beginning of the year, so I spent a lot of money to buy it. Come down and ask a famous teacher to cut and polish it, and I have traveled thousands of miles from Japan to Seattle, and I want to give you this diamond." I tremblingly said: "Geng Mochi, how can I forget you with your appearance!" "So you don't have to worry about me being too far away from you. If you have me in your heart, I will always be by your side!" Geng Mochi clasped fingers with me and sighed softly, "This trip to New Zealand may be our last trip." However, the trip to New Zealand did not take place in the end, because Milan came to Seattle. My first fight with Milan was at a coffee shop in Seattle.Originally, I sincerely wanted to talk to her. Geng Mochi's condition is already like this. I hope she can let this man who has been suffering all his life go quietly in the end. Don't quarrel. I won't argue with her and send Geng Mochi away quietly. , she can do whatever she wants.Besides, is it interesting to blackmail a sick man with the past?But I underestimated the resentment in Milan's heart. Her unreasonableness is worse than that of two years ago. She is already crazy, even more crazy than me back then. Geng Mochi die well! "I just don't let him die well, and forced me into what I am today. Why should I let him die well?!" Milan sneered, with a hideous face like a witch.Her face is really well maintained, and her makeup is also exquisite. The colors of eye shadow, lip gloss, and blush are very layered and meticulous. With her white DIOR dress, she looks like a lady.I sat opposite her, looking sadly at this desperate woman, I couldn't believe that I had a friendship with her for more than ten years, if she really loved Geng Mochi, maybe I would give in, just like three years ago.But does she love him? "If he can't die well, can you live well?" I tried my best to lower my tone, not wanting to get stiff at the beginning of the conversation. The resentment in Milan's eyes was not concealed, "I haven't lived a good life since the day I married him!" "That was your choice, who is to blame?" "I just blame him! It's a mistake to marry him, but he doesn't give me any love. After three years of marriage, he treats me as transparent, and I will be with you until I die. How can I chase you from Nagoya to Seattle? Can swallow this breath!" "If you want to get love, first learn how to give love. You blame him for how he treated you, and how did you treat him? Did you take care of him when he was sick? Did you give him a word of comfort? Milan, Don't blame others at every turn, as if the whole world owes you, you should know what you have done, even if he is not a good husband, but he is your husband after all, and he also has status Man, of course he is disgusted by the bad influence you have brought on him." 我话说得很轻，但也很重，米兰当即就变了脸，猛地拍了一下桌子尖着嗓门吼：“白考儿，用不着你来评论我们夫妻间的事！别以为你得到了他的爱就了不得，你充其量也就是陪他上床而已，你永远也别想名正言顺地拥有他……” “我是不能名正言顺地拥有他，不过你就能名正言顺地跟你的日本情人上床吗？” 就是这一句话，让米兰彻底抓狂了，她端起咖啡杯朝我的脸上泼了过来，我躲闪不及，脸上身上头发上全是咖啡。好在咖啡已经凉了，如果是滚烫的，只怕我会被毁容。 我当然也不是省油的灯，也端起咖啡杯朝米兰泼了过去。 名贵的白色洋装立即染上咖啡色的污渍，米兰大叫一声，绕过桌子就朝我扑了过来，想跟我打架啊，她怎么不去打听打听，我什么时候输过？ 两个女人厮打在一起，绝对是道风景，她扯我的头发，我抓她的领子，把她领口的蕾丝撕得稀烂，咖啡厅内立即乱成一团，老板大叫着要喊警察。 警察还没来，米兰已经招架不住了，被我推到地上，她尖利的指甲抓上了我的脸，我毫不客气地扬手就给了她两巴掌，打架，她怎么会是我的对手？ 当我第二次扬起手时，我的手腕被捉住了。 我以为是警察来了，抬头一看竟是祁树礼，他不由分说就把我拉了起来，拖到他身后，米兰从地上爬起来又朝我扑的时候被他拦住了，“有话好好说，动什么手？！” 米兰披头散发，这才认出他，暴跳如雷，“关你什么事？滚开！”说着又要朝我扑过来。正在这时，警察来了，祁树礼跟警察交涉没用，我和米兰都被带上了警车，我听见祁树礼在后面打电话：“Steven，你赶紧过来，你的太太和你的女友打架了。” 祁树礼后来说，他是跟朋友在楼上喝咖啡，听到楼下有人打架就跑下来看，结果看到的是这个场面。当时我们已经从警察局里出来了，他把我们带进一家餐厅用餐。他问前去保释我们的耿墨池说：“你们不是要去新西兰吗？怎么还没动身？” 耿墨池黑着脸，不吭声。 有米兰在，我们怕是哪儿都去不了了。 “考儿，后天是圣诞，想要什么礼物？”祁树礼又笑容可掬地望向我，颇有讨好的意思。 “礼物？谢谢，我已经收到了！”说着我抬起右手将指间的钻戒给他看，“喏，墨池送给我的戒指，好看吧？” 祁树礼的笑容一下僵住了，定定地看着我的戒指，因为戒指是戴在无名指上的，老外对这都是很讲究的。祁树礼在国外生活多年，自然也很介意，他以前也送过我戒指，可我从来只戴在中指上。老实说我不是给他看的，我是给米兰看的！果然，米兰顿时脸色大变，狠狠地说：“真不要脸，他是有老婆的人，你还把他送的戒指戴在无名指上！” “你给我闭嘴！是我戴在她手上的。”耿墨池为我说话。 这下轮到祁树礼变脸了，看看我，又看看耿墨池，目光毫不客气地杀过来。耿墨池瞪我一眼，我这才意识到太张扬了，就算不顾及米兰，祁树礼还在这儿呢。我心虚地低下头不说话了。米兰岂肯罢休，当下质问耿墨池：“你给她戴戒指是什么意思？” “只是个形式，不具备法律意义。” “形式？好啊，耿墨池，你听好了，只要我米兰还有一口气，我就不会让这枚戒指具备法律上的意义！你等着瞧好了！” 说完她腾地站起身，头也不回地快步走出餐厅。 祁树礼还算有风度，一直跟我们用完晚餐才道别，我根本就吃不下任何东西，感觉胃里有东西一阵阵地往上翻，也不知道怎么回事，这阵子我都感到身体很不适，头晕目眩，恶心反胃，一种似曾相识的印象在我的意识中可怕地复苏，此刻更是恐惧到极点…… 耿墨池去洗手间的时候，我和祁树礼站在餐厅门口吹风，他的脸上没有一丝笑容，也没看我，径直朝停在路边的黑色奔驰车走去。 “Frank！……”我叫他。 “什么事？”他站住了，却没有回头。 “……注意开车。”我说了句言不由衷的话，原本想说的话被我生生地咽了回去。他转过身，眼神比这夜晚还要寒冷，“Cathy，不要让我恨你！” 说完这句话他就决然地开车扬长而去。 我已经做好了最坏的打算，当耿墨池再度昏倒入院的时候。早上他在浴室待了很久没出来，我敲门进去，发现他仰躺在地板上，捂着胸口蜷缩成一团。我尖叫，扑过去瘫跪在他的一侧，把他的上身紧紧地搂住，不住地颤抖着，泪雨纷飞，我像个疯子一样狂乱地吻他的手，吻他痛苦而苍白的脸，吻他眼角的泪，吻他冰冷的唇，浑噩的大脑已经一片空白。 在等待救护车的那几分钟里，我哭叫不止，正在隔壁花园喝咖啡的祁树礼闻讯赶来，他命令我放开耿墨池，要茱莉娅拉住我，当时的我已经疯了。 祁树礼冷静地将耿墨池的身体放平在地板上，开始对他进行心脏按压，在后边的几分钟里一刻也没有停止，后来据参与抢救的医生说，正是祁树礼处置得当给耿墨池的抢救争取了宝贵的时间，从而让他从鬼门关又逃过一劫。 在耿墨池被送入急救室后，我的情绪已经濒临崩溃，无论祁树礼怎么安慰我都没法让我冷静，我不停地哭，哭到后来开始剧烈呕吐，祁树礼昂贵的西装彻底遭殃。最后耿墨池还没出急救室，我人已经不行了，被抬入病房，医生不得不给我注射镇静剂让我安静下来，直至我昏昏睡去。 祁树礼后来告诉我：“你那样子像是要走在耿墨池前面了。” 这已经是多日后，耿墨池的状况已经稳定，我在医院日夜看护，起初是在特护病房，我隔着冰冷的玻璃窗看着耿墨池躺在病床上，无声无息，点滴瓶里冒着泡泡，像死神在喘息。到这个时候，我知道他已经快走向他最终要去的地方了，我纵使心如刀割也无能为力。这一次在医院待的时间特别长，足足有一个月，其间祁树礼多次来医院探视，那天他带着两个随从又过来了，随从将水果和花篮拎进病房，我和祁树礼站在病房外的走廊上说话。 耿墨池能得救多亏了他，我诚心诚意地表达谢意，祁树礼不置可否，目光悲凉地看着我说：“考儿，讲实话我对这份感情已经不抱奢望了，你回不回我身边都无所谓了，我只是希望你能好好地活着，他的情况你也看到了，真到了那一天你难道跟他一起走吗？” “Frank，你放心，我答应过他的，我会努力地活下去，再难也会活下去！他也答应了我，在他的墓地边给我留块地，总有一天我也会躺进去，这样我们就在一起了，只要这么一想，我觉得就算是那一天到来好像也没那么难以接受了。” 这话一说出口我就后悔了，祁树礼像是受到了更大的打击，目光逼视着我，嘴角抽动，像是忍受着某种剧烈的疼痛，“什么，他给你留了块地？” 说出口的话收不回来了，我只好老实地点头，“他已经在西雅图买了墓地，他答应了我，会在那里等着我。” 祁树礼凝视我半晌，别过脸，克制着一触即发的情绪。 “荒唐！”他忍了半天终于吐出这两个字，转过脸看着我，一字一句咬牙切齿，“白考儿，你果真是我见过的最狠心的女人，一丝一毫的希望都不肯给我，你就那么爱他吗？死了都还要跟他埋一起，就算我是个备胎也有自尊心的好不好，你考虑过我的感受吗？” 我试图解释：“对不起，Frank，我……” 祁树礼没理我，扭头就走。 此后他再也没有来过医院，可是他前脚刚走，米兰就来了，在得知耿墨池入院后米兰三番五次地找到医院来闹，她巴不得耿墨池快点闭眼，又害怕他闭眼，因为她还不知道她的丈夫有没有留遗产给她，每次闹到最后都是医院保安把她拉出病房的。 “白考儿，这事没完！我不会让你的阴谋得逞的！”米兰尖厉的声音回荡在走廊。 我目送保安将她拉进电梯，无助极了，看吧，每个人都这么恨我，恨死了我，我不明白我究竟做错了什么，让他们都这么恨我！我不过是坚守着一份可怜卑微的爱情，我用尽全部的力气去爱一个人，不求回报，只求他安好，不求长相厮守，只求死后同穴，这是我的选择我的命运，我没有想要伤害任何人，可是他们还是这么恨我…… 时间一天天地过去，很快到了春天，医院花园里种的几棵吉野樱温柔地绽放着，站在病房的窗前看，远远的像飘着一团粉色的云。不要以为赏樱只有在日本才行，西雅图就是个赏樱的绝好城市，无论是幽静的西雅图大学，还是普捷湾的湖边，随处可见樱花雨漫天飞。 耿墨池转出特护病房后，总要我开着窗，他坐到窗前边晒太阳边看樱花，他跟我说他对日本没什么好感，却很喜欢日本的樱花，转瞬即逝，却美到了极致。 “陪我到花园里坐坐吧。”那天他醒来，看着我说。 我答应了，拿了件羊毛外套披在他身上，扶着他来到花园的长椅上坐下，旁边刚好有棵樱花树，才坐了会儿，我们的头上肩上就落满了花瓣。 他轻轻替我弹去沾在发梢上的花瓣，冰凉的手指滑过我的脸颊，笑了笑，虚弱地说：“真是很奇怪，我觉得你越来越好看了，螃蟹看久了，也还是可以看成天鹅的。” “我本来就有天鹅的底子。”我大言不惭。 他握紧我的手，放到他膝盖上，凝视我片刻，终于说：“不要跟他怄，他这个人不是那么好对付的，你把他当好人，他就是个好人，你把他当恶人，他杀人放火都不在话下，你看我现在对他一直很客气，就是希望他能在我走后善待你。其实认真想，他跟我一样，也是个可怜人，想爱得不到爱，不甘心是肯定的，我都不甘心，何况他呢？” 我没有吭声，但我完全了解他的一番良苦用心，那么骄傲的他，却在祁树礼面前一再妥协，就为在自己走后让祁树礼对我宽厚一点，不至于逼死我。因为他知道祁树礼是这个世界上唯一可以与他抗衡的男人，他纵使再不甘心，也不得不低下自己高贵的头颅，他不敢得罪他，也并不认为这是认输，他经常跟我讲，“我不是输给了祁树礼，我是输给了命运！” 见我长久沉默，耿墨池将话题又转到米兰身上，“至于米兰，你大可不必在她身上浪费精力，我一直当她是透明的，她怎么闹我都无动于衷，随她去吧，不管她。” “米兰就是要钱而已，给她啊，干吗让她来闹！” “她要钱可以，多少都没问题，但前提是必须离婚！” "divorce?" “是的，这就是我跟她谈的条件，只要她肯在离婚协议上签字，我就可以满足她的任何要求，修改遗嘱，要财产，要股份，通通都满足她！” 我狐疑地看着他，“为什么？” “你说呢？”他反问我，对于我的迟钝显出不满，“原因很简单啊，我想以自由身躺进坟墓，我不想到死还和她保持这种不堪的婚姻关系，更不想我死后她以我遗孀的身份到处招摇撞骗，我要彻彻底底地跟她撇清关系，今生今世，来生来世，再无瓜葛！” 耿墨池说完起身头也不回地朝病房走去，粉色的花瓣雨纷纷洒落，他的背影在那美轮美奂的画境中，渐行渐远，看上去竟像永远的别离。 ... 耿墨池出院那天，米兰又阴魂不散地出现了，吃过午饭我刚将耿墨池安顿睡下，米兰就将我叫下了楼，扬言要跟我最后摊牌。 “出去说吧。”我冷冷道，径直朝外走。 米兰跟着我出来，我们站到外边花园里讲话。我端详着米兰，只见她烫了个大波浪鬈发，手肘上挎着爱马仕的限量包包，脖子上的蒂芙尼钻石吊坠项链闪闪发光，一套肉红色的裙装衬托出她妖娆的身段，配上同色的细高跟鞋，还有修长的腿，让她还真显出几分高贵、脱俗的气质…… 我不得不承认，她跟三年前比更耀眼夺目了，不像我，如同被风沙抽干的木乃伊，飞速风干消瘦，难怪她一直用藐视的眼光看我，就像此刻，她双手抱胸，阴阳怪气地冷笑着说：“多余的话我不想讲，我给他三天时间，如果他不给我确切的答复，我就将叶莎盗曲的真相公布于众，这次没得商量，我说到做到！” “米兰，人都死了几年了，你还拿这些陈芝麻烂谷子的事来说有意思吗？亡者为大，这样基本的人伦道德你妈没教你啊，诋毁亡者的名誉就能让你达成所愿？” 米兰哼了声，继续冷笑，“白考儿，你以为你比我高尚到哪里去，你不也是为了他的财产吗？这么巴巴地守在他身边，就是想让他把财产转到你名下吧？” 一听这话我就来了火，“米兰，不要拿你的眼光来衡量别人，如果为了钱，我就不会离开祁树礼，他的钱可比耿墨池多多了！” “是啊，我确实是小看了你，一直就小看了你，没有人像你这样做了婊子还要立牌坊的，从祁树礼的床上下来又爬上我老公的床……” 啪的一声，说时迟那时快，米兰话还没说完，脸上就挨了一巴掌。 别误会，不是我打的，是旁边甩过来的一只手。 “你才是婊子吧？被小日本从床上踹下来又来纠缠我哥哥，还有脸在这儿撒泼，你巴不得全世界都知道你的丑事吧，全世界也只有你最有资格做婊子！”那只手的主人横在了我和米兰的中间，双手叉腰，恶狠狠地瞪视着米兰。 “安妮？！”我叫了起来。 米兰捂着脸傻了似的，难以相信她的小姑子为何从天而降。安妮朝她逼近几步，指着她的鼻子说：“臭女人，居然敢欺负考儿，你活腻了吧，听说还经常来打搅我哥哥，你给我听好了，你要么现在就滚，要么跟我干一架，你任选！” "you!……" 米兰气得嘴唇发白，但显然很畏惧安妮，狠狠地瞪了我一眼就跨进花园门口停着的一辆白色宝马，姿态优雅得很。我诧异地看着她，才来西雅图几天，怎么就改头换面了？又是名钻又是宝马，还这么嚣张，莫不是背后有人撑腰？ “考儿，想死我了！”安妮一把抱住发愣的我，在我脸颊上狠狠地亲了一口。我推开她，还没从巨大的震惊中反应过来，“安妮，你怎么来了？” “还不是我妈，老是放心不下，要我过来看看的。” “那太好了，你哥哥知道了一定很高兴！”我搂着安妮喜出望外，笑得合不拢嘴，可是，可是我很快就笑不出来了，笑容僵在脸上，目光被钉在了远处—— 浪漫的樱花树下，一辆黑色奔驰车气势凌人地缓缓停下，司机从驾座上下来，弓身打开后座的车门，身着浅灰色西服的祁树礼从容不迫地走下车，气度非凡，一边扣着西服扣子，一边四顾张望，然后，一眼就看到了呆若木鸡的我，还有……还有安妮！ “这个Frank好眼熟啊，总觉得在哪儿见过似的。” 安妮在第一次见到祁树礼后这么跟我说。 说者无心，听者惊心。 我支吾着问：“在……在哪儿见过？” “想不起来了，但肯定是见过。” “你见的男人太多了吧。” “是很多啊，所以才对男人有过目不忘的本领，这个Frank不错啊，很养眼，是我喜欢的类型。” “安妮！”我斥责道，“别忘了你现在有Keven。” Keven是安妮现在正交往的男友，香港人，做投资顾问的，耿墨池名下的产业就是由他打理的，在我做了耿墨池的助理后跟他有过工作上的对接，通过视频，人很帅，儒雅斯文，精英范儿。在他和安妮交往前他就帮耿墨池打理产业了，深得耿墨池的信任，安妮也正是通过哥哥认识的Keven，两人交往已经快三年，感情稳定，我想过不了多久说不定就要谈婚论嫁了。 在我看来安妮终于肯安定下来正儿八经地谈恋爱，对Keven应该是动真感情了，没想到她竟然说：“我知道啊，我爱Keven，他也爱我。可是……” "But what?" “男人嘛，不可能只有一个女人的，生理上就决定了。我呢，当然……也可以认识一些养眼的男人，不会伤感情的。”安妮耸耸肩，很不以为然的样子。 我张大嘴巴，这丫头真是本性难改！ 耿墨池出院后在家静养，安妮跟我们住在一起，她每天像只蝴蝶似的在花园里飞进飞出，跟仅一墙之隔的祁树礼很快打得火热。这天早晨，我在卧室搞卫生，窗帘是拉开的，祁树礼在对面的阳台跟我打招呼：“Cathy，在忙什么呢？” “忙什么没看到吗？” “干吗这么大火气？邻居应该和睦相处。” 我转身就进屋，懒得理他，他还在那边喋喋不休：“真是奇怪，你家的那个安妮怎么跟我好亲切的感觉啊，看着眼熟不说，总觉得以前接触过。” 一阵冷风吹进来，让只穿了件薄羊绒裙的我打了个冷战。 此后祁树礼总是上我家来串门，他跟安妮很谈得来，两个人说笑逗乐打成一片。耿墨池都觉得纳闷，因为他也知道，祁树礼并不是个对女人随便表示好感的男人。 我觉得我犯下了罪，当安妮告诉我祁树礼要跟她约会的时候。 “考儿，Frank约我到太空针上看夜景，哈哈……”安妮跑来告诉我这个消息的时候兴奋得满床打滚。 “安妮，Keven知道了肯定不高兴。”我板着脸说。 “那有什么，谁知道他现在在香港有没有跟别的女孩子约会呢？我们很相爱，但一直是互不干涉的。”安妮说着就打开衣柜挑约会穿的衣服。我浑身虚脱般没有勇气再看她，回到房间就给祁树礼打电话，措辞很不客气，“你最好离安妮远点，她是耿墨池的妹妹！” “知道啊，在医院第一次见面你就说了。” “知道还跟她约会？！” “Cathy，这就是你不对了。”祁树礼在电话里不慌不忙，慢条斯理地说，“你不理我，又不准我跟别的女孩子约会，我是男人，身边怎么能没女人呢？” “满大街都是女孩子，一定要找安妮吗？”我的火药味很重。 “你怎么了？吃醋了吗？哈哈……那可是个好消息，你肯为我吃醋！” “Frank！！” “不要这么大声嘛，我今天心情很好。” “你听好了，你要是敢伤安妮一根汗毛，我跟你拼命！” 说完我就挂断了电话，好半天还在喘气。我无法阻止事态朝可怕的方向发展，对什么都无能为力，尽管他们是没有血缘关系的兄妹。 就如此刻，我只能站在窗前，眼睁睁地看着祁树礼载着安妮驶向西雅图迷离的夜，泪水不经意间打湿了我脖子上系着的丝巾。 “你吃醋了？”耿墨池突然出现在身后，端着杯咖啡，虎视眈眈。 “没……没有，我吃什么醋。”我低头赶紧拭泪。 “没有吗？你好像还是很在乎祁树礼的吧？”他逼近我，目光探照灯似的停留在我泪迹未干的脸上，“不然你为什么哭？” “不是你想的那样，墨池……” “你不是我，你又如何知道我是怎么想的？” "you misunderstood." “白考儿！”耿墨池说变脸就变脸，眉心突突地跳，“我是说过，在我死后你可以回到祁树礼的身边，但我现在还没死呢，你就为他争风吃醋！你当我是什么？真的以为我是行尸走肉，病入膏肓，完全不在乎身边人的态度？告诉你，我比以往任何时候都在乎！只要我还有一口气，我就希望你全心全意地留在我身边，我死了，你爱跟谁跟谁！” “耿墨池，你怎么这么不讲道理呢？我对你还要怎么全心全意！”我被气得大哭，又不敢跟他吵，怕刺激他，谁知这更让他以为我是真的为祁树礼吃醋了，他把咖啡杯砸到地上，咆哮如雷，“你哭，我还没死你就哭！你未雨绸缪我不说你什么，麻烦你别当着我的面一套背着我又是一套好不好，看你刚才焦急难耐的样子，你知不知道这对我是莫大的侮辱和打击……” 我又跑出了家门，当他情绪已无法控制的时候。 西雅图的灯火港湾就闪烁在眼前，我一个人走在清冷的街头，脑子里很多东西在来回不要命地激荡交汇。奔腾的海水，呼啸的风，耿墨池倒在地上的声音，我哭泣的声音，甚至祁树礼和安妮暧昧的眼神，想到这里，我的心脏好像被一只大手狠狠地捏着扭了一下，又疼又慌，这时我骇然发现自己竟站在了湖边耿墨池的船屋前。 我缩在船屋舒适