Chapter 8 Chapter VII

For three years, we have loved each other and hurt each other. We can't see the direction and can't find the way out. When Qi Shuli learned that I was lost in the mountains and almost fed the wild animals, he gasped, "Why didn't you call me?" "I lost my phone," I said. At that time, I was in the outpatient building of the hospital. I signed up for the dermatology department and was about to go upstairs. The area where I was bitten by mosquitoes showed signs of inflammation because I scratched the skin. It was originally agreed that Geng Mochi would accompany me to the hospital to see the dermatology department, but he I'll go alone if I have something to do.Thank goodness, I went alone, because the Yuanjia Road is narrow, I just ran into Qi Shuli in the hospital, and I heard him say that he was going to invest in building a complex, and I came here today for inspection.We were talking at the elevator entrance in the lobby on the first floor.

"How did you come up with the idea of ​​investing in the hospital?" I had nothing to say. He looked at me with a gentle smile, "I don't invest in the hospital, how could I meet you here?" I rolled my eyes at him, pretending to be unhappy. He was also savvy, and he accepted it when he saw it, so he asked me why I came to the hospital suddenly.After listening to me talking about the danger in Qingquan Town, he was glad that I escaped danger, but at the same time he was quite disapproving of the Geng Mochi hero saving the beauty, "I wouldn't have to search for ten hours if I changed it." Knowing that I lost my phone, he said He said, "No wonder Geng Mochi answered your call that morning. I'll give you a new phone later."

I thought he was just talking casually, but I didn’t expect him to ask someone to deliver his mobile phone to my door the next day. It was the latest iPhone, and Milan collected it for me. Naturally, his face was not very good-looking, and he said a few words that were not right. If I listened, I also hit back at her politely, and the two of them had a very unpleasant fight.When I got home from the show that night, I saw Milan packing her luggage as soon as I entered the door. It seemed that she was really going to move out. "Milan, must it be like this?" I felt a little regretful and wanted to keep her.

"Should have moved out a long time ago," Milan said without looking at me, busy stuffing a maroon coat into the suitcase, "I'm sorry to bother you for so long." "Milan, I think..." "Don't say anything, okay?" She raised her head, the cold firmness in her eyes made her heart tremble, "Everyone has his own way, and you and I are not on the same road at all. I think You may not be able to see what you want, and I may not like what you want, so let’s go our own way, maybe you will finally get what you want, and I may not be unable to get what I want.”

I opened my mouth and couldn't speak. At that moment, I knew that nothing I said would help.I never knew that Milan had such a deep gap with me. I always thought that she was a heartless, simple and happy person, but I didn't expect that she had already kicked me to her opposite.When did this happen?Ten years of friendship! "good luck!" These were the last words Milan threw to me when I left the house. I looked at the back of her resolutely leaving, and suddenly felt that I was a failure in life, and I couldn't keep anything, marriage, love, friendship... What do I have left now?I was so sad and sad that I didn't eat dinner.When Yingzhi called me, I was curled up on the sofa, and she said that she had agreed to move in with Milan.

"Kao'er," she said suddenly after saying a lot of comforting words, "Why do I have a bad feeling, I always feel that you and Milan... well, how should I put it, I just feel very bad, I'm afraid you are... ..." "Is it over?" "I'm afraid it's worse than that." I'm speechless, what's worse, can it be worse than now? The next day Geng Mochi invited me to dinner and said he had a gift for me.Immediately, my mood improved a lot. I tried not to think about Milan, but it was useless. Anyway, things are already like this. After we met, I was about to ask Geng Mochi what gift he gave me, but he caught a glimpse of the new mobile phone in my hand.

When I first entered the door, I took it out to check the time, but I didn't have time to put it back in the bag. "Did you buy a mobile phone?" He frowned. "Uh……" I thought it was too late to hide the phone, so he stretched out his hand, "Show me." No way, I had to hand him the phone. He took the phone and tapped on the screen seemingly casually, and then his face collapsed, and I suddenly became uneasy, Qi Shuli didn't hide a bomb in the phone, right? Sure enough, Geng Mochi showed me the opened address book, "How do you explain this?"

I leaned forward to take a look, and suddenly my eyes turned black. There was only one person's phone number saved in the address book, and that person was Qi Shuli.I originally planned to return the phone to him after I took it, so I didn't look inside at all. I didn't expect this bastard to be so narcissistic. He saved his phone number in it without saying hello. I deliberately saved it as a "tree gift", lest others would not know how close I am. Geng Mochi looked at me with a dark face, "Tell me, how do you explain it?" I looked aggrieved, and said weakly: "You misunderstood, I didn't buy this phone, he gave it to me, I'm going to return it to him, it's not too late..."

Geng Mochi obviously didn't trust him, but maybe he had learned a lesson from the previous quarrel at Sunset Villa. He didn't turn his face immediately, but just threw the phone on the table, and then took out a new phone from a paper bag with him , "Here, use this!" I suddenly realized that this was a gift from him. I picked up the phone, "Thank you." Unexpectedly, he took the phone back from my hand and manipulated the screen skillfully.I could see very clearly that he had blacklisted Qi Shuli's number, and I clicked my tongue in my heart, this man is not a cheap man!

Well, I deliberately saved his number as "I love him" in front of his face just to please him.Geng Mochi pretended not to notice, but his complexion obviously improved a lot, and he ordered a table of dishes, all of which were my favorite. Men are actually quite coaxable. As for the mobile phone Qi Shuli gave me, I mailed it back to him later.After Geng Mochi blacklisted his number, he couldn't get through to my cell phone, so he called me at home in the middle of the night. He first asked why I couldn't get through, and then asked me why I returned the phone to him. I had to tell the truth.After hearing the reason, he froze on the other end of the phone for a moment, then heheed twice, without saying anything.I don't think he can say anything, after all, he also knows the relationship between me and Geng Mochi, no man would be happy that another man gave his girlfriend a mobile phone, and still saved the other party's number in the mobile phone.

I think it's good to clarify this matter, I hope that Qi Shuli will retreat and stop causing trouble for me.Geng Mochi is not easy to mess with. If he gets upset, he will take his anger out on me first. I really can't afford to mess with this gentleman!Fortunately, he finally agreed to do a program on the radio station. I tried all kinds of tricks, called him, invited him to dinner, and put a tall hat on him, which can be measured from the earth to the moon.Although he agreed very reluctantly, he finally agreed, and reminded me, "This is not an example." When a famous person arrives, the stage will naturally receive the highest standard of reception, and my relationship with him is already an open secret (Ah Qing undoubtedly contributed a lot), so everyone looks at me strangely, one by one. Wrinkling eyebrows and smiling so weirdly, I just pretended not to see it.Geng Mochi is really a bad guy. He used to keep a certain distance from me when we were in a good relationship, and rarely had intimate behaviors with me in public, but now in front of my colleagues, he sometimes hugs my shoulders and hugs me. waist, as if afraid that others would not know that I had an affair with him, the most unbearable thing was the eye wave, which seemed drowned to death by others, but I got goose bumps all over my body. When I entered the live broadcast room, I seized an opportunity and whispered to him: "Please don't look at me like that, I can't stand it." Geng Mochi leaned close to my ear and replied: "This is unbearable, what should we do at night?" I gave him a sideways glance. If I hadn't been in full view, I would have kicked him. This guy has intentions! "Is the communication ready? The live broadcast will start soon." The director Da Mao reminded us with a headset in the studio.There is only a glass window between the director room and the live broadcast room, and they can see our every move here. Obviously, our appearance just now was misunderstood by them as whispers between lovers.I gestured that it was time to start. The first is the advertisement before the show. I took advantage of this time to tell him: "Please cooperate and don't make me look bad." "Of course, how could I miss such a good opportunity?" He made a pun, and before I had time to delve into the meaning of his words, the show had already begun.At the beginning, he really cooperated very well, greeting the audience and greeting me very decently.After all, he is a person who has seen the world, and dealing with this kind of interview is simply a child's play for him. No matter how tricky the questions I ask, he can always save the day without showing any signs of scruples. What is most impressive is that he seems to have questions. You must answer, but in fact, you didn't answer anything, and you couldn't find any flaws. Well, I admit that the one sitting next to me is a superstar, even if it is only through the sound, his charm is still stirring in the night sky of the city with the radio waves turning into electric currents, so in the audience question session later, a large group of nympho fans competed. Xiang called the hotline, because they were too excited, the listeners who connected to the hotline were basically incoherent, but there was one who was very calm and asked a very sharp question: "Hello, Mr. Geng, I have always been your loyal music fan, what I want to ask Since the death of your wife, Ms. Yesha, why have you not released any new works? Is it because the loss of a creative partner like your wife has affected your artistic career? When you lose your love and business partner, how much do you want to interpret the LOVE series? What new understanding will there be? Please answer, thank you.” Cold sweat dripping from my back... I scolded Da Mao in my heart, how could I get such a call, but I can't blame him, because this kind of hotline calls are all random, and it is hard to control.I subconsciously looked at Geng Mochi next to me. Unexpectedly, his expression was very calm, without the slightest emotion fluctuation.He pondered for a moment, then replied: "Thank you for this friend's question. I think I should explain that my artistic career has nothing to do with whether there are new works published. I am a pianist, not a composer. As for My wife, I'm sorry, it's not convenient to talk about my private topics here." "Then I have another question. I heard that the LOVE series was not created by Ms. Yesha. The real creator is someone else. Is this true?" I hurriedly said: "My audience, I'm sorry, please don't talk about a dead person here. I'm sorry, because of time constraints, today's hotline is over. Now, listeners, please listen to Mr. Geng Mochi's most popular song The popular LOVE theme song.” After speaking, I quickly inserted the prepared music without any pause, and the quick response even surprised me.When the music was slowly flowing to every corner of the city through the radio waves, I narrated: "Love is the eternal theme in this world. Whether it is the living or the dead, the spirit will never die. Love will never die. I dedicate this song to everyone in my heart." And dear ones, thank you." In fact, I don't know why I made such a move afterwards, it was completely out of instinct.Yes, I hate those two people, and of course I will never forget that if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have endured such shame and pain, but they are already dead, no matter how the living accuse them, they can’t hear it, it’s meaningless, and they can’t bear it. No morals. The live broadcast room was so quiet that only the music remained. Da Mao and the others were all stupid in the director's studio, because it's not even time for the music break.Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Geng Mochi sitting on the side concentrating on meditation, when a beam of light came down from above his head, making his side face look like a statue with a dreamlike light, which is dazzling .It's just that the way he frowns makes people feel very uncomfortable. I know that he has never accepted public media interviews before this, especially such live interviews are unique.He is not afraid of facing the pain, but he is afraid of exposing the pain to the public.I suddenly blamed myself. I reached out from under the live broadcast and shook him, and asked in a low voice, "Are you okay?" He shook his head, "It's okay." "Sorry……" "It's okay." He turned his face to look at me with a smile on the corner of his mouth, "Thank you." I was a little dazed for a moment, not understanding what he was thanking me for, "It's over in ten minutes, you have to be patient, and I'll invite you to eat stinky tofu at the Fire Palace after the show." I felt like I was coaxing a child. He laughed out loud, "Do you want to dismiss me after a meal of stinky tofu?" "Then what do you want?" He leaned close to my ear, "You know exactly what I want." My face became hot immediately, the live broadcast room was transparent, and everyone was watching from outside, so I coughed lightly, "Stop making trouble, everyone else is watching." "Just look at it. Actually, I really like sitting here. It feels like there are only two of us left in this world." "Can you be more serious?" "You know I'm not serious, especially in front of you." "So my reputation is all in your hands." "I don't mind making your reputation worse, so that you are worthy of me." "Remind you, this is a show." "Others can't hear it, didn't you turn off the microphone?" "..." I'm stupid, I, did I turn off the mic?I tremblingly looked at the equipment on the live broadcast platform, and suddenly it was like a thunderbolt. The equipment on the live broadcast host was still flashing the signal light, and Da Mao did not cut off our signal to insert advertisements, which means that our conversation just now was complete. All passed through the airwaves! I hastily pulled off the headset, and shouted at Da Mao in the studio: "Da Mao, you are dead!" Da Mao reacted and quickly cut into the commercial.I jumped up and rushed out of the live broadcast room, and I was about to settle accounts with Da Mao, but Da Mao was so frightened that he hurriedly slipped to the side door.Ah Qing grabbed me, "Kao'er, the show isn't over yet, calm down..." "Da Mao, you dead pig, where did your soul go? I didn't turn off the microphone and you didn't know to remind me. Look, I didn't peel your skin today!" I was so angry that I lost face to my grandma's house , if it wasn't for Lao Cui who rushed over after hearing the sound, the scene would have been so chaotic.Old Cui reprimanded sharply: "Bai Kao'er, finish the show first!" Lao Cui was also an announcer, and I was shocked by that loud voice. I stared at him blankly, and then realized that the show was not over yet, and now it was commercial time.This time I got into trouble, and then I turned my head to watch the live broadcast room. The guest Mr. Geng Mochi, whom we had worked so hard to invite, was just watching the fun outside as if nothing had happened, as if this matter had nothing to do with him at all. I walked in with a sullen face, when the advertisement had just ended. I put on the headset and continued to say in a perverted soft voice: "Okay, now let's go back to the program time, we just got through the hotline of some listeners and friends, and everyone interacted enthusiastically with Mr. Geng, thank you very much Mr. Geng. " God knows how convulsive it is for this "teacher" to come out of my mouth, this bastard is also worthy of being a teacher?I was really unlucky for eight lifetimes when I met him. I don't even know how to finish the show, I have no memory at all.After finishing the program, I weakly asked Ah Qing: "How big is the coverage of our radio station?" Ah Qing looked at me full of sympathy, and answered two words: "The whole province." I went limp and almost collapsed.Aqing added: "And this program has the highest audience rating on our station, higher than other programs from other friendly stations at the same time." Okay, this is really good. People in the whole province are fortunate to listen to the live broadcast of the famous pianist Geng Mochi molesting the hostess in the show. Do I want to be so bad? I just jump off the radio and television building! Coming out of the live broadcast room, I saw Lao Cui standing in the corridor with his hands behind his back. His face was drawn like that of Changbai Mountain. I knew that this time the board would be indispensable.Although there have been "accidents" large and small since entering the industry, there has never been such an oolong like this time. The terrible thing is that this is an exclusive interview accepted by Geng Mochi in Hunan. Not only music fans and audiences are paying attention to this For the first episode of the show, many media peers are staring at it. I will lose my face, and I will lose the face of the station as well. I drooped my head and stared at the toes of my shoes, not daring to look at Lao Cui and other supervisors at all.I saw Da Mao standing at the door of the studio, his legs trembling. "You two, come to my office!" Old Cui gave an order, turned around angrily and left.Then I didn't forget to tell the others, "Apologize to Mr. Geng and send him back to the hotel." ... This time, Lou Zi made a big mistake. Da Mao and I were severely criticized by Lao Cui for making a serious mistake in our work due to inattention. The situation after that is uncertain.After Lao Cui's training, we held an emergency meeting to deal with possible situations one by one, especially communicating with various media as soon as possible, hoping to suppress this matter.But if the media is able to shut up, how can there be so many listeners in the city and the Internet?So, I'm really at home. It was already midnight when I returned home from the meeting. When I dragged my exhausted body back to my residence, I didn’t even have the strength to go upstairs.There is no elevator in the old-fashioned apartment. When I climbed up to the fourth floor, I suddenly found a person standing at the door, with his arms crossed, standing upright against the wall.I don't know how long he stood, but he looked more tired than me. "You, you still don't think I'm troublesome enough, do you?" I staggered, my eyelids drooped, and I didn't have the energy to argue with him at all.Without making a sound, he walked up to me and stretched out his arms to wrap me in his arms.I was angry and wanted to break free, but he hugged me even tighter, whispering in my ear: "Let me hug, just for a while." The clear scent of the familiar plants on his body smells very good, and it has a deceptive power. My head is even more dizzy, and my anger is like a thread, "Please, you go back first, let me sleep well, I am going to die." "Kaoer, let's stop fighting, okay, I just want to hug you like this." His voice was inexplicably hoarse, "I'm afraid of being alone, I'm afraid of being alone, I'm afraid I won't see you the next morning The sun rises, I'm afraid I won't see you again... You won't understand, every minute and every second is like the end of the world to me, I don't want to waste time arguing, I just want to be with you , even if you don’t do anything, just hug you quietly and feel your existence.” "Mochi?" I breathed in his arms, thinking it was a dream.He never said that to me even in a dream.I trembled, and finally stretched out my arms to hug him slowly, "You are too tired, go back and rest earlier." He pressed close to my face, rubbed it, and his voice was soft, low, as if he was dreaming, "I just want to be with you, even if it's a quarrel, it's better than never seeing you. We've been apart for three years, I thought I can live like this forever, but I met you again in Shanghai, and you pulled me back to reality. Sometimes I don’t know whether I am a ghost or a human, and I tell you nonsense during the day, deliberately angering you, I dare to confide my heart at night, but I don’t have the courage to say it in front of you, so I can only look at the mirror in the bathroom, facing the balcony of the bedroom, and think about it until dawn..." I felt sore in my heart, "Mo Chi, don't do this." "Just now in the live broadcast room, when you helped me out, I suddenly felt very sad. Those two people have been dead for three years. I thought I would never be sad for this matter again, but when I heard you play that song Only then did I know that we have not come out of that pain, we are still trapped in that tragedy, so I am sad, they can be together when they are dead, why can’t we be together when we are alive ?" He tremblingly kissed my forehead lightly, like a helpless child, his voice almost choked up, "Bai Kaoer, why can't we be together?" In the morning, I was woken up by the phone next to my bed. It was Ah Qing who informed me that I didn't have to go to work because the station had suspended my job. "Let's talk about it after the news has passed. For the next two days, you should stay at home honestly and don't go anywhere, lest those reporters stay on the spot." A Qing explained everything on the phone one by one, "Last night's incident is still not clear at present. Nothing happened, not even in the newspapers. As for the internet, I’ll have to read it later. Don’t worry, Lao Cui will take care of it. He suspended you to protect you... Well, speaking of this, Mr. Geng It would be fine if he was simply famous in the music industry, but recently the entertainment industry has also been eyeing him. It is said that a female star who has been in the limelight for the past two years just broke up with her boyfriend. The media speculated that a third party was involved. , and this person is guessed to be Mr. Geng, of course I don’t believe it, but when Mr. Geng performed in Beijing last time, the female celebrity not only supported herself, but was also photographed dining with Mr. Geng at the hotel, so be careful Don't appear in public at the same time as Mr. Geng..." After hanging up the phone, I looked at the ceiling, can't they appear at the same time?But this guy is sleeping on my bed right now, I seemed to be possessed last night, I don't know why... "It's so noisy, who is calling?" I took him in with good intentions, but he still complained.I said angrily: "It's all your fault, my colleague just called and said I was suspended." Geng Mochi turned over, sat up topless, and asked sleepily, "Will you be fired then?" "If things get serious, I can't be sure." I picked up the clothes on the ground and threw them at him angrily, "Put them on quickly, and go back to your hotel. We won't meet again during this time!" I was suddenly very angry, and after thinking about it, it seemed that I was not only angry about what happened last night. "What are you doing so early in the morning, can't you talk properly?" I probably forgot that Geng Mochi has always been angry about getting up, no matter how late he wakes up, he always has an unknown anger, so don't mess with him in the morning, otherwise he will be with you It's not over, it's not uncommon to drop things and smash glasses.Sure enough, he was annoyed, and he put on a straight face while putting on his clothes, "Where did the little passion last night go, look at you, you look like a bitch." I originally wanted to quarrel with him, but when I thought that the neighbor next door might be able to hear me, Ah Qing told me to restrain myself.I had to swallow this breath and pouted my mouth, "I'm not complaining that my job may be gone soon. I'm a woman. I don't have a sugar daddy and I don't want to be a mistress. It's not easy to support myself. You don't understand me at all. , and picking his nose and eyes, woo woo woo..." I was actually registered, and even I was surprised, when did I feel so sad? Men generally don't want to see a woman's tears, either out of disgust or distress, but Geng Mochi is neither.He would think it was fun, so I was number one, he was happy, he got up out of breath, stood on the edge of the bed, raised my chin condescendingly, shook his head, "Look at you, why are you crying?" Ah, I can support you without a job, but it’s not that I can’t afford it, that’s why I asked if you will be fired, if you are fired..." "How about it?" "That's similar to winning the lottery. You can just go to Shanghai with me." I was so angry that I couldn't speak. "I said you are such a broken bed, my bones are almost broken." Geng Mochi ignored my dark face, frowned, beat my waist and squeezed my neck, "I'm used to sleeping on soft beds, sleeping here with you Suffer." He walked to the window and opened the curtain with a swish, "Hey, why are there so many reporters downstairs?" I was startled for a moment, and instinctively rushed over to see, I was fooled, there were no reporters, only two old neighbors were practicing Tai Chi by the flower garden downstairs.I kicked him and took advantage of the topic, "What's the matter, you are so afraid of reporters, did you get some sexy photos taken, you are afraid, and it will damage your glorious image as a musician, right?" "Don't listen to those people's nonsense, do you take things that are out of reach?" Turns out he knew what I was referring to. "What about the picture?" "It was just a meal with a friend, and it happened to be photographed. I'm still baffled!" "What about Jinyi? Jinyi is also your friend?" I immediately changed the subject to Jinyi.I admit that I am a narrow-minded person. Some things are kept in my heart, and it is unpleasant not to say them. Geng Mochi squinted at me, "What do you want to know?" I shrugged, "Just asking, why are you so sensitive?" "You are too sensitive, I just..." "Just what?" "Forget it, I'm going to take a shower." He walked towards the bathroom and asked me when he reached the door, "Do you want to go together?" I grabbed a pillow and threw it at it, "Get lost!" Of course, I don’t believe that Geng Mochi will have anything to do with that female star, because I am also in the media, and making things out of nothing, exaggerating, and chasing rumors are the characteristics of this industry. If the things published in the gossip tabloids are taken seriously, it will be too slandering my IQ .Even if there is something really wrong, it must be the woman who took the initiative. From what I know about Geng Mochi, he is not a lust-oriented person. On the contrary, he has always been indifferent to irrelevant women except for the necessary gentlemanly demeanor.Except for He Jinyi. But I can't ask too hastily and act too earnestly, otherwise I will be ridiculed by him again.If he wants to say it, he will naturally say it, if he doesn't say it, he won't say it even if you hang him in front of him. What's more, I can't take care of this right now. Although I don't have to go to class, I am really on pins and needles at home. I am afraid that the live broadcast that night will have a negative impact on his performance.Fortunately, the negative impact can’t be called it, it’s just that I made a name for myself again, because just as Lao Cui expected, several paper media published the accident of the live broadcast that night one after another, not the headlines, but occupied the entertainment The entire page or more than half of the page, the titles are roughly "Famous pianist Geng Mochi's radio interview surprises", "Accident or speculation - Geng Mochi flirts openly with the radio female anchor through the program", "The most sturdy radio live broadcast in history", etc. , not only the paper media, but even some netizens intercepted the audio of the program that night and sent it to local portals and related forums, and then it was quickly reposted by other websites. Ever since, Geng Mochi's sentence "I don't mind if your reputation gets worse" became the latest news. The Internet buzzwords spread wildly.In A Qing's teasing words, "Kao'er, you are born to be a celebrity. You can become famous all over the world without leaving your home." What's more, a poll was held on a certain forum, "Guess what Geng Mochi and anchor Bai will do after the show that night? Answer A: Go to Fire Palace to eat stinky tofu; Answer B: Geng Mochi go to Bai anchor Xianggui Spend the spring night together; Answer C: Anchor Bai went to Geng Mochi’s hotel room to continue the 'interview'; Answer D: Did nothing, went back to each house and found each mother." As a result, answer B accounted for more than half of the total votes.I have to admit, these netizens are so talented, how could they guess so accurately? As for Geng Mochi, apart from being busy with performances every day, what he cares most about is, "You haven't been fired yet?" He just wanted me to be fired, so he could abduct me to Shanghai. This man's heart is really broken! As for the domineering president Qi Shuli, he suddenly disappeared for a while, and it is said that he has gone to the United States.Originally, I didn't care where he went, and it was none of my business to go to Mars, but that day he suddenly visited and brought a bunch of gifts, which caught me off guard.Seeing that I was not very enthusiastic, the gentleman explained with a smile: "I can't help it. I can't get through to your mobile phone, so I have to go to the door." Geng Mochi was to blame for this matter. Before, if Qi Shuli wanted to meet me, he had to make an appointment by phone first. Now, since his number was blocked by Geng Mochi, this gentleman didn't even need a phone call. He just came to the door, making people hard to guard against! After Qi Shuli entered the door, he asked about his health, and it was difficult for me to issue an order to evict guests, so I had to chatter with him. "Going home for the Spring Festival?" He asked pleasantly. I prevaricate, "I don't know, it depends on the duty arrangement of the radio station." The truth is, I had already promised Geng Mochi to go back to Shanghai with him for the New Year, so I lied to my mother, saying that I would be on duty at the radio station and would not be able to go home during the Spring Festival.My mother knew it well, and scolded me that I no longer had parents in my eyes, and regardless of my own reputation, I would suffer big losses sooner or later if I fooled around with "that man".Doesn't my kind mother know that her daughter has long regarded fame as a floating cloud?Of course, the reputation of "that man" is not much better. Birds of a feather flock together. There is no way around it. Hearing what I said, Qi Shuli thought for a while, and seemed to be pondering his words, "If you don't go home, how about I spend the New Year with you here? Anyway, I'm alone, we can be a companion..." "Aren't you going home to celebrate the New Year with your mother?" Qi Shuli hesitated for a moment, smiled, spread his hands and said, "My mother, you know, I'm not used to getting along with her anymore, in my feeling, you are more like my relatives." "Because I'm like your little Jing?" I said coldly. Qi Shuli obviously didn't expect me to say that. He stared at me for a long time and sighed, "You are overthinking, Kao'er. Do you need so many reasons to be with you? Celebrating the New Year with you, feeling like Ajie There is not much difference in celebrating the New Year together, of course, if you find it inconvenient, I will not force it, anyway, I have lived alone for so many years, I am used to it.” "Thanks, my boyfriend will accompany me." He was slightly startled, with that squinting expression again, with a smile on the corner of his mouth, "Kaoer, you don't need to be like this, I'm not a scourge that will eat you, it's meaningless for you to use him as a shield." "Then what do you think is meaningful?" "Kao'er, it's meaningless to go your own way knowing that there will be no results. It's just giving your feelings in vain! Maybe you don't like what I say, but it's the truth. Love without blessing will only bring you bad luck!" I immediately turned my face, "Qi Shuli, why do you say that?" "It's not what I said, it's because you don't want to face this reality. Don't you know who his wife is? What happened to Ajie and his wife? What's the point of being with him? Kao'er, I I know that Ajie is sorry for you, and our Qi family is sorry for you, so I want to do everything possible to make up for you..." "Qi Shuli!" I interrupted him, and stood up abruptly, "Who cares about your compensation, no one can make up for the harm Qi Shujie has done to me, who I'm with has nothing to do with you or your Qi family! Don't pretend Passionate!" Qi Shuli also stood up from the sofa at this moment, looking straight at me, with a threatening manner, "Even if Ajie does not do the right thing, he is already dead, and the dead are the worst. You can hate him, but you can't let him be blinded." Shame, don't embarrass our Qi family!" "What, embarrass him?" "Yes! You are humiliating him by being with Geng Mochi!" I widened my eyes and shouted loudly: "He is dead, do you want me to be buried with him for the rest of his life? He is obviously sorry for me, why should I spend the rest of his life?" "NO, you misunderstood, I have no objection to your remarrying, I have no objection to you marrying anyone, even if you marry a street gangster, no one will interfere with you, but you want to be with Geng Mochi, Sorry, I don't want that So tolerant!" He finally showed his true face, I looked at him like an alien, and laughed to myself, "You are really interesting, why should I ask you to be tolerant, who do you think you are, are you God? Our destiny Want you to dominate? A joke, what a big joke!" "You don't need to be so excited. Since we have already opened up the conversation, I don't have to hide it. I can tell you very clearly that as long as you are with him, I guarantee that he will not have a good time. I believe Ajie Quanxia must not accept it, you will be cursed! What is the end result of this kind of love, you can try..." I was so angry that I was almost out of breath, I pointed at the door, "Get out!" I didn't say leave, I was already very polite. Qi Shuli was not angry, but even smiled, nodded to me in a gracious manner, "Okay, I'll go, but you might as well think about what I just said, you will understand." "Get out!" I sternly said, if I had a broom in hand, I would have blown it up. Only then did Qi Shuli open the door unhurriedly and go out. I slammed the door, feeling as if my whole body was being roasted on a fire, and my beating heart made me unable to calm down at all.No wonder I always felt that Qi Shuli was unpredictable, so he was hiding such thoughts, he actually thought that I had humiliated their Qi family, what logic!I should have seen that this person had a dark mind long ago, but I have always been so polite to him! But in the dead of night, I lay alone on the bed and thought about it. Qi Shuli may not be the only one who thinks like this. My parents still can't accept Geng Mochi. My mother is always that man. She doesn't even want to be called , Obviously they also think the same way, thinking that we are humiliating the family style and shameful when we are together. Including Milan and Sakura, no one around us is optimistic about us.Thinking of this, I suddenly became uneasy. Will unblessed love really bring us bad luck?Still being cursed... Why did Qi Shujie curse me!Why! Qi Shuli and I have completely turned against each other. If we turn against each other, we will turn against each other. I only hope that we will never have any contact with him again in this life.During this period, Yingzhi was the host and invited me and Milan to dinner, obviously wanting to be a peacemaker to resolve the conflict between us. 饭桌上，我和米兰都有些尴尬，樱之语重心长地说大家都是这么多年的姐妹，一个寝室睡过四年，有什么事不能好好地沟通，非要弄得老死不相往来。我觉得樱之说得对，我反思自己这段时间情绪不稳可能无意间伤到了米兰，我当然也知道问题的症结在哪里，于是很诚恳地跟她道歉。 我边说边给米兰斟酒，“米兰，我知道你的心思，但祁树礼这样的人真不值得你惦记，这人深不可测，心理阴暗，你还是少惹他为妙。好男人多的是！” 樱之也接过话，“是啊，米兰，你这么漂亮，身边的好男人怕是挑都挑不完吧？” 米兰没接茬，端详着我，“你为什么说他心理阴暗啊？” “我跟他闹翻了！”我放下酒杯，一说到这个人就心里来气。 米兰和樱之面面相觑，在她们的追问下于是我将事情的来龙去脉大致说了下。米兰瞅着我直摇头，叹气道：“你自己都说他这个人不好惹，你干吗还跟他翻脸？我跟你说，他这个人还真是不好惹，你最好别得罪他，他收拾你是分分钟的事！” “我怕他啊！” “不是怕不怕的问题，关键在于你们现在已经撕破脸皮，他可以毫无顾忌地对你和耿墨池下手。他这个人手段很厉害，最后吃亏的一定是你。” 我眨巴着眼睛看着米兰，不以为然，“他能把我怎么着？” 米兰耸肩，一针见血，“他可能不会把你怎么着，他毕竟还是维护你的，何况对你还有那种心思，我觉得你应该担心的是耿墨池。” "why?" 米兰挑眉，“你说呢？” 这阵子我都很少见到耿墨池，演出迫在眉睫他忙得不可开交，我当然不便去打搅他，听说他吃饭都是由服务生送到房间的。我去酒店看过他一次，偌大的套房进进出出的人那个多啊，我连话都跟他插不上。米兰的话让我颇有些不安，第二天我特意挑了中午的时间去酒店看耿墨池，顺便给他带点吃的。一进房门我就感觉气氛不对，每个人都阴沉着脸，耿墨池坐在沙发上一语不发，他的经纪人韦明伦不停地在打电话，心急如焚的样子，像是出了什么事。 我诧异地打量他们，“怎么了，出什么事了？” 耿墨池沉着脸，没说话。 韦明伦一屁股在沙发上坐下，叹气，“我们的演出被叫停了。” “啊？”我吓一跳，“你说什么，叫停了？” 韦明伦点点头，一脸懊恼，“说是我们的手续不全，可我们明明拿到了批文的，所有手续都符合程序，走流程都走了好几个月，突然就说不行了，莫名其妙！” "how so?" “谁知道呢？”韦明伦急得直挠头，“演出没几天了，现在突然叫停而我们的票早就售罄，如果退票我们将面临巨额赔偿，主办方可以起诉我们，我们是违约方！” “赔就赔吧，反正事情已经这样了。”耿墨池起身，心情很不好。 “墨池！赔钱是小，关键是信誉损失那是金钱挽回不了的，如果这次演出泡汤，我们以后很难再赢得公众信任，这才是最麻烦的！”韦明伦想死的心都有了。 我愣愣地看着他们，完全是一种本能，脑子里飞速旋转，瞬间就意识到可能跟某个人有关系，除了他，我想不出还有谁有这样的本事可以让好好的演出突然叫停，明摆着是要耿墨池栽跟头！我心里顿时乱得不行，唯愿这只是我的猜测。我故作轻松地安慰他们，“没事，估计是哪个地方搞错了，我托人帮你们去问问，文化这口我还是比较熟的。” 明知道这样的安慰没有作用，我还是想缓和下气氛。没想到耿墨池还不领情，不耐烦地跟我摆摆手，“你回去吧，这事轮不上你管，我会处理。” “哦。”于是我不再多言，这个时候他心情烦，我还是少惹他为妙。 回到电台，我越想越不对，想给祁树礼打电话，却发现号码早前被耿墨池删除，我联系不上他。没办法，我决定亲自去问问。我寻到祁树礼公司的写字楼，在他办公室等到天黑也没见着他的人，我只好打道回府，不想刚下楼就看到祁树礼的座驾缓缓驶来，我忙上前拦下车。 祁树礼果然在车内，我敲车窗，“你下来，我有话跟你说。” 没想到祁树礼纹丝不动，放下车窗，表情显出少有的冷酷，“找我干吗？” "get down!" “Sorry，我还要赶个应酬，现在没时间。” 我索性直接问了：“耿墨池的演出被叫停的事是不是你干的？” 祁树礼呵呵一笑，态度倨傲，“这个问题我拒绝回答。” 那就是他干的了。 但这个时候我不能跟他闹僵，激化矛盾于事无补，到时候倒霉的又是耿墨池，我只好压下满腔的怒火，好言好语地说：“Frank，你有什么不满冲我来，耿墨池跟你无冤无仇，你犯得着这样吗？” 祁树礼冷笑，“无冤无仇？他跟我是无冤无仇吗？我弟弟是被他老婆害死的，这个仇还不够吗？” “你这是悖论，那他也可以说他老婆是祁树杰害死的！” “那你还跟他在一起？” “Frank！” “我现在没时间跟你扯这些烂账，你让开！” “我不让，有种你从我身上压过去！”说着我就绕到了车前，摆开了鱼死网破的架势。 僵持的局面已经形成，透过风挡玻璃，我看到祁树礼跟坐在副驾的助理低声耳语了几句，助理点点头，掏出手机在打电话，然后祁树礼衣冠楚楚地下车来，继续跟我说：“你这个样子没用的，我这个人最不怕的就是威胁，你越威胁我，事情越麻烦，我劝你还是回去。” "what the hell do you want?" “离开耿墨池，否则没得商量！” "What if I don't agree?" 祁树礼耸肩，“耿墨池的麻烦会一个接一个，他不让我好过，我就不会让他好过！” “他怎么让你不好过了？你们井水不犯河水，他没有招惹你，现在是你在招惹他！”我的暴脾气一触即发，但我只能忍，忍得我肝疼。 祁树礼说：“他跟你在一起就是跟我过不去！他老婆害死我弟弟，我不会允许他又拉你下水。考儿，你听我的，他只会给你带来厄运！” 我嚷起来：“祁树礼，你才是给我带来厄运的人！我所有的不幸都是拜祁树杰拜你们祁家所赐，我的生活已经被毁了，我只想你和你的家人离我远点儿！” 祁树礼饶有兴趣地瞅着我，“一生气就连名带姓，你对他也是这样吗？” "..." 我不知道僵持了多久，大概不到二十分钟的样子，两道刺目的车灯从身后打来，然后是喇叭声。我扭头看过去，这回是肝儿颤了，耿墨池来了！ 毫无疑问，是祁树礼要他助理打电话通知的耿墨池。 耿墨池熄火，推门下车。 夜色中的他身着浅灰色长大衣，朝我走来时有种奇妙的逆光效果，仿佛全宇宙的光芒都在他身上，说不出的潇洒从容。这个男人从来就是光芒四射，即使是在暗夜的街头。 耿墨池走到我跟前，拉下脸，声色俱厉地呵斥我：“你来这里干什么？” "I……" “回车上去！” 我站着不动，祁树礼在边上啧啧咂舌，“对她这么凶干什么，有脾气冲我来嘛。” “原来是你干的。”耿墨池似乎什么都明白了。 “是我。”祁树礼一点儿也不推诿。 “行啊，背后捅刀子是你们姓祁的干的事。” “就事论事，请不要扯上我弟弟，他是亡者！”祁树礼彬彬有礼，气场一点儿也不输给耿墨池。这是我第一次看到两个男人正面交锋，我站在边上都不知道劝谁，根本插不上嘴。 耿墨池冷笑，“谁愿意扯他！我连名字都不愿意提，一提就让我恶心！” “那你还跟我弟妹在一起？” “谁是你弟妹？” “墨池……”我拉耿墨池，被他甩开。 “闭嘴！”他将我推到边上。 祁树礼继续挑衅，“耿墨池，你面对现实吧，考儿是我弟弟名正言顺的遗孀，当然是我的弟妹，我有说错吗？既然是我弟妹，当然就是我祁家的人，身为她兄长，我不会允许你利用她来达到你个人目的的，当然你会说你跟她是真感情，你们铁了心要在一起……” “废话，我们在一起怎么了，我们还要结婚呢！” “结婚？”祁树礼嘲弄地一笑，“就算结婚又怎样，半路夫妻怎么能跟原配相提并论呢，按旧俗，媳妇即使改嫁，百年后还得葬回夫家，换句话说考儿生是我们祁家的人，死也是祁家的鬼！” “Frank！”我叫起来。 祁树礼转过脸冲我笑，“这就对了嘛，我还是喜欢你叫我Frank。” 耿墨池冲我吼：“回车上去！” “我不！”我也火了，但我并没有将矛头对准他，因为祁树礼才是我们共同要面对的问题，这种时候我必须要表明立场。我看着祁树礼，一字一句咬牙切齿，“Frank，你听好了，我白考儿不属于任何人，生不是你们祁家的人，死也不会做你们祁家的鬼，至于我死后埋在哪里轮不上你来管，也许我把骨灰撒河里去呢，你管得着吗？我告诉你，我就是爱耿墨池，我生是他的人，死是他的鬼，这辈子我跟定他了！” 祁树礼的脸色僵了僵，对付这种刀枪不入的男人只能下狠手。 耿墨池显然没想到我会说出这样的话，他看了看我，眼底掠过柔软的微光，伸手搂过我的肩膀，看着祁树礼说：“听清楚没，你没戏，这个女人我爱定了。我爱她跟她是谁的老婆没关系，她单身我也单身，现在又不是梁山伯与祝英台的时代，你也不用把自己当成正义的化身，什么兄长，自作多情！我和考儿光明正大地在一起，不需要得到任何人的同意！” 祁树礼并未被激怒，他微笑着看看耿墨池，又看看我，“既然你们都这么讲了，我也不好再多说什么，那我们就等着看好了，看老天爷到底站在哪一边，得不到祝福的爱情是个什么结果我们拭目以待！”说完转身准备上车，顿了顿，扭头又跟我说，“考儿，你会后悔的。” “人生哪能事事无悔呢，那多无趣啊。”我将某部电影的台词抛给他。 祁树礼摇头笑笑，上车。 夜已经深了，两岸的灯火倒映在江面上，江岸长长的景观道上冷雨飘零，从江面吹过来的风寒意刺骨。我冷得直哆嗦便裹紧了外套，看向身边的耿墨池，他正上下摸索，显然正在找烟。 “要不要我去给你买？” "never mind." 我于是不再作声，他迎风站着，也沉默。 大半夜的我们在这儿吹冷风也不知道是为什么，也许是想让自己冷静吧。不管承不承认，祁树礼说的话极大地刺激到了我，包括身边的耿墨池。 我叹气，上前钻进他的大衣里，贴紧他的胸口，“对不起，我没想要让你生气的。” “白考儿，下次再做这种没脑子的事我一定不会饶过你！”话虽这么说，他还是用大衣裹紧了我。我缩在他怀里，被他的气息包围着，顿时觉得温暖了许多。 “但是把话跟他说清楚也是有必要的，墨池，我不在乎别人怎么看我们，得不到祝福又有什么关系，就算被全世界抛弃只要有你，我就没什么好怕的。” "You really don't regret it?" "regret." "Ok?" “我后悔这三年为什么不去上海找你，后悔为什么死要面子，我们浪费了三年可以厮守的光阴，一想到这儿我肠子都悔青了！” 耿墨池更紧地抱住我，“白考儿，这也是我最后悔的，三年来我像个神经病似的守着你的号码，等着你打过来，却没有勇气打给你，我觉得我们真是愚蠢得无药可救！” 说这话时耿墨池将我的头按在他胸前，用手搓着我冻得冰冷的耳朵。 “墨池，我爱你！” “白痴！我也爱你！”耿墨池的下颚摩挲着我的额头，若有所思地说，“有件事情很奇怪。” "What's up?" “你在上海的时候我们并没有采取措施，你怎么还没怀上？” "..." “真是奇怪了，我都是算好了时间做的。”耿墨池抱着我，百思不得其解，自言自语，“怎么到现在还没消息呢？哎，我问你呢，怎么还没消息？” 我不敢抬头，压抑住狂乱的心跳，“你，你怎么这么想要个孩子？” “我都这么大岁数了，要个孩子不奇怪吧？而且有了孩子，你就不会跑了，你的注意力也会转移，不会成天找我碴了。” 我弱弱地说：“未婚生子很丢人的。” 幸亏有夜色做掩护，耿墨池没注意到我诡异的神色，自顾自地说：“白考儿，我们从认识到现在丢人的事做得还少吗？再说我也没打算未婚生子，虽然我对你能否胜任耿太太这个身份很怀疑，但目前看来还有调教的余地。” 我踮起脚亲吻他的唇，看着他，“墨池，孩子会有的。” 他捏了下我的鼻子，“所以我们还要努力才行，等演出结束后我们找个地方度假，算是提前度蜜月了，顺便进行我们的造人计划。” “你这算是求婚？”我朝他伸出手，“戒指呢？鲜花呢？” “你还在意这个啊？” “我为什么不在意？我可不会随随便便把自己给嫁了，我们要举行一个完美的婚礼，婚礼要中西合璧，既要拜天地也要请万能的上帝做主将我许配给你，并赐予我们幸福。还有，我要亲自参与布置婚礼，我要把现场布置成花的海洋，从进门到礼台要铺上长长的红地毯，我们的巨幅照片要挂满现场每个角落，婚礼进行的时候，你要向全世界宣布你爱我，并且永不反悔。哦，对了，你还要现场为我弹奏一首我最喜欢的曲子，然后请我跳舞……” 耿墨池大笑，“这太丢人了吧！” “我们丢人的事做得还少吗？而且……” 我的话还没说完，他就俯身贴上了唇，用一个绵长隽永的吻封住了我的嘴。我伸出手臂勾住他的脖子，热烈地回应着他，刺骨的寒风瞬时变得暖融融的。我脑子里晕晕乎乎，人像是托在云端，我要飞了，我正在飞，浑身每根神经每个细胞都充盈着快慰…… 也许这就是我要的爱吧，没有道理，不分青红皂白，两个失去理智的人一旦碰撞在一起，所有的防备和信念都会变得模糊不清。三年了，我们彼此爱着又彼此伤害，看不到方向找不到出路，不知道怎样去接受，不知道怎样去付出，想放纵自己，又怕毁灭自己，想有个美好结局，又怕最后万劫不复。但是就在此刻我决定了，哪怕爱的代价是焚为灰烬，我也要忘情地投奔他而去，爱了就爱了，不管对错，我只是听从自己的心。 其实就在刚才，我很想把怀孕的事告诉他，可话到嘴边又吞了回去。演出没几天了，我不想让他分心，我决定等他演出结束后再告诉他，迟两天而已，不会碍什么事。我这么安慰自己。 可是屠格涅夫说过，“幸福不管明天，幸福也不问昨天；幸福记不得过去，也不去想未来；幸福只存在于现在——甚至不是全天，而是眼前这一瞬之间。”后来想起这句话，我竟有深深的宿命感，真的是错过了，我仅仅迟疑了一瞬间就什么都来不及了，我还没来得及奔向他而去，就跌入无底的深渊，粉身碎骨…… 耿墨池莫名被叫停的演出两天后又莫名地通过审查了，想来祁树礼也知道，拿这事来整耿墨池不仅会加深我跟他的矛盾，也会显得他很没度量。他这人相当自负，如果有一百种办法收拾耿墨池，他一定会选择光明正大而且技术含量很高的那种，背后做手脚什么的太小儿科了，会拉低祁大总裁的高智商，这样赔本的事他试过一次就不会再尝试第二次。 谢天谢地，音乐会很成功，当红色天鹅绒幕布徐徐拉开时，全场掌声雷动。耿墨池身着黑色燕尾服坐在舞台中央的钢琴旁，一束灯光自上而下打在他的身上，悠扬的琴声开始响彻大厅，LOVE主题曲缓缓流淌开来。我相信音乐是有灵魂的，音乐又渗透着人的灵魂，而唯有灵魂与灵魂的撞击才能如此的荡气回肠，耿墨池的音乐就有着震慑灵魂的穿透力。他不是用手在弹琴，他是用心在演奏，他在倾诉，在表达，在宣泄，每一个音符都是他对这世界的告白。 因为懂，所以痛，我怎能不痛，只有我知道台上的那个人浮华背后的悲凉。想起他曾经跟我说过的那些话，我终于明白一个艺术家莫大的悲哀就是孤独。我知道此刻的他是孤独的，即使台下有那么多的观众，他仍是孤独的，但他没有选择，他那样的人，生在那样的环境里，只能身不由己地走着没有尽头的路。他知道他是走不到尽头的，因为这路从一开始就画错了方向和角度…… 我一直在哭，幸亏有米兰在边上递纸巾。 是我邀请的米兰，她似乎也被耿墨池的演奏打动，目光中充满欣赏，中场休息时她边给我递纸巾边不无感慨地说：“白考儿，你为什么总是这么幸运！” “我的妆花了吗？”我思维混乱，抽噎着问她。米兰瞥我一眼，“都成熊猫了！”说着她诡异地看了看后边，凑到我耳根低语，“祁树礼来了。” 我愣住，米兰示意我看后边。 我扭头看过去，果然看到祁树礼就坐在后面几排，他见我回头看他，还微笑着颔首跟我打招呼。我瞪他一眼，转过头不再看他。 “谁让他来的！”一想到之前发生的不愉快，我就来气。 米兰酸酸地说：“所以说你就是这么幸运，有耿墨池这样光芒四射的男人爱你，还有祁树礼这样的备胎候着，白考儿，你要说你不幸运天理不容！” “备胎？”我从来没想过要把这样的词套在祁树礼身上。 米兰回我一句：“是啊，备胎，含金量超高的备胎！” 我没有作声，米兰掩饰不住的妒意让我很不舒服。我原以为我和她已经修复了关系，但我忽略了，两个人之间如果有了裂痕，怎么修复都回不到最初了。我只觉无力，得到爱情却失去友情，这不是我要的，可是我也明白人心是最复杂的，我不是米兰，我无法理解她所想，同样她也不是我，她不会懂得我向往的爱情从来就是纯粹的，不带任何功利。两个人的分歧其实一直就在，只是现在表现得更加明显而已，我再怎么表明我的爱情观，她也未必会信，反而会认为我虚伪矫情，这样的话题我已经没办法跟她深入讨论了。 很多事情一旦失去控制，我根本无力阻止。正当我胡思乱想时，演出大厅掌声四起，在后台短暂休息后的耿墨池又回到舞台上，我这才重整心情投入欣赏后半场的演出。 无与伦比的演奏，让人沉浸其中舍不得结束。 但演出终于还是接近尾声了，司仪最后问耿墨池，此时此刻最想演奏一首什么曲子。他回答道：“我最想演奏的就是下面这首《心之弦》，这是我个人最钟爱的一首私人作品，从未公开演奏，今天我想把这首曲子弹给她听，因为我想在未来的某个特殊时候也弹奏这首曲子，希望她能喜欢。” “哦，未来的某个特殊时候是指什么？”漂亮的女司仪问。 “她知道。”耿墨池神秘地笑着回答。 全场响起热烈的掌声，显然观众都会意了，司仪也笑起来，“我们祝福你！” The applause lasted for a long time. 耿墨池在掌声中坐到钢琴边，深吸一口气后开始弹奏他今晚最后一首曲子《心之弦》。以前不是没听他弹过这首曲子，但在这种公开的场合听他弹还是第一次，我瞬间泪崩。这是一首天生就应该在舞台上演奏的曲子，空灵的琴声仿如天籁，除了音乐，我再也听不到其他的声音。 我忽然有种想冲上台拥抱他的欲望，但我克制住了，只是很没出息地流泪，到演出结束全场起立鼓掌时我几乎是掩面而泣了。 我心里很乱，乱极了，整夜不能入睡。 一闭上眼，他的面孔便清晰地呈现